I Had to Steal 16 Hours to Remember How to Cry
This is a follow-up to my prior post about re-reading books.
So I did end up, three days later, stealing 16 hours for myself to revisit The Heir and The Crown by Kiera Cass. And, complete honesty, I forgot how much this set of books 4 & 5 in The Selection series makes me cry.
There is so much great familial love emotion, self-discovery emotion, and yes, the angst of being torn between duty and love which is a huge draw for me. I spent 6 of 16 hours crying and it was so cathartic. It has refilled my well for the writing process but also I learned more about why this is one of my go-tos.
There is so much of my own struggles in the main character Eadlyn: her armor she wears against people getting close is something I relate to completely. The fear of being seen and known by others, of being vulnerable to their judgement. That one has lived in me for years and is a battle I still some times shirk fighting because what does it matter if I fight it? I'm safe in my little bubble.
But living safely and experiencing a life full of all that life has to offer is two very different things. Trying to chase one's dreams from inside the armor of safe is a fallacy that I keep falling for. I can either be safe emotionally, which built the life I already have, or I can dare to open up and face the risks of life and try to soar.
Trying to soar is an activity that is inherently full of pain. And while I am no stranger to pain in my life, I avoid it more often than I embrace it... I caught a glimpse that I might be doing the same things with my characters, pulling punches to spare them the pain that they need to become the hero they are supposed to be.
The suffering of love done right—the emotional intensity of high stakes and impossible choices—is exactly what makes a story unforgettable. If I want to evoke those deep, soul-stirring tears in my readers, I have to stop saving my characters from the fire. I have to write the things that move me and let myself be just as moved as other authors have moved me to deliver the promises I want to deliver as an author.
My encouragement to others is to remember the adage that the things you want most are usually waiting for you on the other side of the thing you fear.
Until you or I or character X faces that fear, we'll never get what we want and we will deny ourselves the best of life in the meantime all in an effort to be safe.
And to close that thought off, here is a Broadway tune about that concept that buried itself in my mind as I was finishing up this post. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lXQePXvYeA
Have a great day all and live real. I know I'm trying to.