Obsessed with the idea of Castlevania from Alucard's perspective 'cause like. Imagine your dad is one of the most dangerous people on the planet but you keep forgetting about it because he's also hopelessly and pathetically devoted to your mother to the point of borderline neglecting you which kind of sucks but y'know whatever. And then your mom is brutally and publicly murdered so you head out for your dad's estate already presuming he's cooking up some pretty chill, sweet revenge, only to find out he's actually Actively Planning A Genocide against your own mother's people, of which you're also still technically a part of. So you try telling your dad that's actually Not Chill and he just fucking lunges at you, permanently scarring you and leaving you in a year long coma so now you have to kill your weirdo loser dad which sucks hard cuz y'know. You really don't have anyone else but ok.
But you're still in a coma so then you're woken up by a random mage girl who thinks you're Jesus Christ Reborn and a loser homeless boy who immediately (and homoerotically) tries to fight you and he actually manages to stab you in the gut but you think that's sexy and you ask them if they wanna help you kill your dad and now suddenly you're part of a murder polycule. So like. What I'm trying to say is 10/10 the character of all time
❀ ˎˊ- prompt: jiaoqiu had been content to quietly love you as your best friend, but his patience gets tested when he sees an IPC outlander blatantly ignore your boundaries.
❀ ˎˊ- jiaoqiu x gn!reader
❀ ˎˊ- wc: 816
❀ ˎˊ- warnings: implied sexual harassment but like its vague asf u dont even know what ipc bro did
❀ ˎˊ- a/n: jiaoqiu makes another ipc man shit himself. i think this should be a running joke because honestly? i think its the funniest thing ever. you go king. do a crime. i support you.
❀ ˎˊ- taglist: @sh0jun , @themoderatelyawesomeninja , @xphantasmagoriax , @rainswept , @lucensei , @akutasoda , @naraven , @scribs-dibs , @apathicace
❀ ˎˊ- img credits
It’s not often that Jiaoqiu scares you.
You’ve known him for a while after all. While he can be rather mischievous and, admittedly, sadistic, at his core Jiaoqiu is a soft-hearted individual who cares deeply for his friends and coworkers.
You know Jiaoqiu would never hurt you, nor would he ever intend to. The most he’d ever resort to was a petty prank or a swift smack of his fan to your face if he was especially exasperated.
You know this, but the way Jiaoqiu’s currently gripping his knife and dismembering mushrooms with a spiteful fervor makes you keep a safe distance away from him.
“Jiao-” You flinch as his head nearly cracks at a 90-degree-angle. “Sorry. Uh, I know you like spice and all, but- isn’t that a little too much, even for you?”
Jiaoqiu smiles coldly. “Nonsense. There is no such thing as ‘too much spice’. Besides, I’m sure our little ambassador-” there’s a venomous bite in his voice at that word, “-can handle at least this much.”
You glance at the bubbling hotpot that’ll soon be served to the IPC ambassador in a few minutes. It looks like something that was vomited by a demon that had crawled up from the deepest parts of hell. The bubbles that pop and burst in a vicarious red are almost menacing in their behavior.
A sigh leaves you.
“Jiao-” you shake your head, placing a hand to your temple, “-I know you’re angry, but he’s still a guest. We have to treat him with the respect he deserves.”
“Who said I was angry?” Jiaoqiu slams the knife’s blade into the final mushroom with a thud, without so much as a single glance away from you. “All I am doing is giving our dear guest a taste of traditional Yaoqing cuisine.”
“Uh-huh.” You deadpan. “Is that why you’re throwing in ghost peppers too? You do realize that we’re also going to have to eat this, right? As does Feixiao.”
“Feixiao can handle it, as can you.”
“But he can’t.”
For a sliver of a second, Jiaoqiu’s eyes peek open, revealing a slit pupil in a cold topaz gem. Their corners crinkle slightly as his smile grows with sinister glee. With a flick of his ears, he gives you a look before returning to his preparation.
He moves on from the mushrooms and begins slicing apart the meat to be used in the hotpot, this time with a much gentler and more controlled motion. Deciding that it was now safe (or at least, safer) to approach, you take a few tentative steps towards the silently seething Foxian.
“Listen- I’m not happy about the way he treated me either,” you start, cautiously putting a hand on his shoulder. “But this is a matter of diplomacy. Tricks like these…”
“Calling this a ‘trick’ makes it sound like a childish prank,” Jiaoqiu interrupts. “When in reality, it is a lesson. Folks like him won’t learn unless they’re forced to, you know.”
You roll your eyes. “You mean you just want to see him in pain for your own sense of justice.”
He chuckles.
“Who knows?”
“Why are you so worked up about this anyways?” Leaning your face onto his shoulder, Jiaoqiu’s hair tickles at your face as you idly watch him prepare the meat. “It’s unlike you to be so... spiteful. You know he’ll be out of our hair by tomorrow.”
Behind you, you feel the fluff of his tail as it sways in agitation.
“It goes without saying that I hate seeing you be treated like that,” says Jiaoqiu after a brief moment of silence. “And the way that you’re expected to simply stand there and- take it, it infuriates me. Being forced to watch you suffer and not being able to do anything about it is - quite frankly, it’s one of the worst feelings in the world.”
He heaves a heavy sigh. Frustration bleeds into his tone, and yet his voice is gentler, softer. His tail comes up to touch your waist tenderly, before he lets it drop back to its natural position.
“I care about you.” It’s a simple sentence, but it’s the way Jiaoqiu says it that makes you feel as if it is more, so much more than just that. “You know that you’re one of the most important people in my life.”
He turns his head, and presses it to yours fleetingly. His hand stills, knife paused in the glistening meat.
“So let me do this small favor for you, hm?”
“Small favor?” you snort, shaking your head against him. “You call giving a foreign ambassador a nearly lethal dose of chili a ‘small favor’?”
“Please, this is nothing.” Jiaoqiu lifts his head and returns to the cutting board. “If it eases your mind, I’ve decided to half the dosage of laxatives in his tea to compensate for the spice.”
Pro Hero Bakugou. I repeat. PRO HERO BAKUGOU! I need a spin-off of him. I'll fund the project with my blood, sweat and tears if I have to! They all look so good. My kids are all grown up ❤
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