an annotated playlist for my jingfu wip, "checkfruit".
[Marriage would've been a cheaper affair.]
1. the perfect pair - beabadoobee
You ought to know that I think we're one and the same
I don't think we could help it, no, I don't think we could help it
so bittersweet and intimate. it feels like - standing in the ruins of the same fire, in the same room but so far from each other. that tension between - i know you like no other! - i fear you like no other - "if i told you, you'd know how to go break my heart in two".
the song depicts a much more broken relationship than jingfu's, but i just found the fraughtness fitting. there might possibly be no other pair that could be closer than them, literally, thanks to the checkfruit bond. and yet even as they move in perfect sync they're still hiding secrets from each other; even as they keep only each other's counsel they're still working behind each other's back.
and always that low-thrumming fear - that someone could know you as deeply as they do.
they are of a long-lived species. they have everything to lose.
I know I'm independent but I think I need ya
Kayang mag-isa pero mas gusto with ya
(I could go it alone but I'd rather with ya)
2. Gusto With Ya - DENȲ
and they've gone it alone for so long but they can't deny the ease that comes with this new bond. and the closeness that has burst forth between them scares her, but moving in a world where they live in each other's back pockets is easy as breathing.
"sanay nang mag-isa, pero mas sasaya / kung lagi kang makakasama." i'm used to being alone, but i'd be so much happier / if i was always with ya.
what to say? is there even anything to say? they look at each other and thought races between them faster than light.
what to say? nothing, nothing.
everything.
3. ...Like Clockwork - Queens of the Stone Age
Everyone, it seems, has somewhere to go
And the faster the world spins, the shorter the lights will glow
though - what the hell are they even doing? day in and day out, this endlessness upon endlessness. careening on some predetermined trajectory, ever on towards supernova - "all the promises of stone crumble in the light" - and "the deeper in the water, the more i long for you". and. there is never time for anything, especially this, especially now. she can't even think it. she mustn't.
aching and lonesome and rueful. we've made so many mistakes...
the world spins, and they with it. space breathes, and they with it.
4. I Don't Like My Mind - Mitski
I don't like my mind, I don't like being left alone in a room
With all its opinions about the things that I've done
oh fu xuan....... what a melancholy song. "a whole cake, so please don't take / my job from me". you with all the weight of the world on your shoulders, will you not take even the hand that is outstretched to hold you up? will you not even...
and jing yuan smiling and sleeping off the grief. it suits you to be looked down on and underestimated, and it suits you to shrug off the weariness of all your years, but it never truly leaves you regardless...
5. Savior Complex - Phoebe Bridgers
All the bad dreams that you hide
Show me yours, I'll show you mine
and... they could see each other, and they do. and so they know the best ways to outwit the other, to tiptoe around their watchful gaze. again they are fighting because one or the other has moved without asking, because one or the other thinks they know better, thinks they need to save them. all we have is trust. all we have is trust! and now - well.
what worse insult is there?
(what helpless, frantic love?)
6. Me and My Husband - Mitski
So I bet all I have on that
Furrowed brow
And at least in this lifetime
We're sticking together
and: who else could it be but you?
7. You're here that's the thing - beabadoobee
And I know you said that we're not a thing
But you're here, that's the thing
she is nobody's lackey; he is nobody's puppet. they don't know where this is, this limbo they occupy, the air thick with everything they don't say, every thought they turn a blind eye to.
well - you're overcomplicating everything! nobody else needs to know. nobody else needs to understand. all that matters is this world where i blink and your vantage is starry in the darkness of my eyelids; where you wake and i feel your yawn rattle my bones. all that matters: i have you, and you have me.
8. Pahintulot - Shirebound
Alamat lang ba ang pahinga ng dalawang puyat sa
(Asking, 'Is rest only a myth for two souls')
Pira-pirasong mga bugtong, nagtatanong
('Tired of all these piecemeal riddles?')
but you could find rest in me if you wanted to. you could find shelter. lay down your burden; let me carry it with you. "giliw, kung pahihintulutan mo ako" - if you would only let me, darling - you don't know the least of what i would do for you. (neither do you, her eyes say. neither do you.)
what shall we name this chasm that stretches from my cavity to yours, driving our hearts as one engine?
february is so eventful, you have 2/1 irisviel’s birthday, 2/2 the day saber was summoned & twin tail day (best twin tail obviously our best girl here) anddd 2/3 rin’s birthday
food stay night ep 2 was released and i got to watch heaven’s feel finally, good times
So, Cheeseburger died on November 21st after an unfairly short battle with an unfairly rare cancer that is rarely seen in cats. I only got to spend a month with him after his diagnosis, and losing him has been the greatest heartbreak of my entire life so far. He was my best friend and my soul cat, and he was there for me when I was completely alone, for twelve long years.
I made this transparent PNG the night he died in preparation for one of the many ways I was going to memorialize him--a surface rug in his likeness that I planned on laying directly in the line of his favourite sunbeam. And I uploaded that PNG here, because this is the website where people post their cats.
I was not expecting the reception I got. Many people have pointed out that this post has more reblogs than likes, and how insane that is in 2025 when reblog culture is at an all time low. I didn't even talk about the fact that Burger passed away in the original post, it wasn't a tearjerker reblog bait or anything like that. People just loved Burger that much, in the same way I fell in love with him at first sight. He was such an ugly kitten.
Anyways, it's really special to me that so many people have reblogged my best friend. I made this PNG to memorialize him in a completely different way, and you all wound up doing just that in ways I never even imagined.
Thank you. Wherever he is, I know the sun is shining.
WONDER WHY THOSE ALL DON’T LOOK LIKE THE SAME COLOR? BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT
OTHER THAN BEING PART OF THE SAME FAMILY OF BLUES, THEY ARE NOT ALL THE SAME FUCKING COLOR! WHY WOULD THEY ALL BE THE SAME FUCKING COLOR! DO YOU THINK WE JUST NAME NEW COLORS FOR KICKS!?!?!?
WHEN DESCRIBING A CHARACTER’S GOD FORSAKEN EYE COLOR, PICK ONE YA GODDAMN HIPPIE
Steve who was incredibly touch-adverse when he was younger. Steve who grew up constantly being poked and prodded at by doctors and nurses, with a physically abusive dad, with a chip on his shoulder about needing to be strong on his own.
And Bucky, naturally touchy, who grew up with a family of sisters. All of them are clingy and loving. Bucky, who learned how to braid hair, how to take care of small children, how to give the best hugs.
And Bucky knows Steve doesn't like touch, and that's fine. Bucky can show his love in other ways, but god. Sometimes he just wants to pull Steve into the biggest bear hug. Bucky finds excuses when he can. He's always slinging his arm over Steve's shoulder, nudging him and pulling him along. Bucky whos always trying to find some excuse to touch Steve.
Steve, waking up in the 21st century incredibly touch-starved. He's living in a society where platonic touching is more common than ever, and the only person he wants to hug isn't there. Steve in the 21st century, who's always giving his friends hugs, who'll braid Nat's hair when she's reading next to him on the couch, who'll join cuddle piles without any hesitation. And then- and then-
Bucky is back. Bucky is back, and the second Steve moves towards him, weapon down and palms open, he flinches. Bucky, who was always the one to initiate touch, now barely able to handle being in the same space as other people. And Steve understands it. God, does he understand it, but it hurts. And he can't help but wonder if this was how Bucky felt when they were kids.
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