10/24

height: 5’3” sw: 150lbs cw: 145lbs gw 1: 140lbs gw 2: 125lbs ugw: 110lbs

[ladybugsforpresident-deactivate]

Reblog if you’re in the Yes-I-Have-An-Eating-Disorder-No-You-Shouldn’t-Starve-Yourself club

[ariaxxx]

sooo i’ve been really inactive on here... here’s why

i tested positive for covid in the beginning of january and was on bed rest pretty much the entire month and a few days into february until i recovered. since then, i’ve been dealing with so many different health problems that apparently are the aftermath of covid.

the worse of these is parosmia. i’ve only been experiencing it for a few weeks—about two and a half months after i recovered from covid—but it’s gotten really bad ever since i got the first dose of the pfizer vaccine yesterday. i can’t eat or drink anything but water without gagging because everything smells horrible. absolutely rancid. like something between death and a sewage system.

parosmia is basically an olfactory sense (sense of smell) disorder that happens after the olfactory neurons have been damaged for some reason, often due to a viral infection—in my case, covid. damage to these neurons result in changes in the way smells are relayed to the brain.

basically, everything smells rotten to me. and it tastes that way too.

i’ve been smelling a bad odor for weeks now, but it’s never affected my eating habits. now, the only things i can keep down are water, oat milk, and sushi if i try hard. things like meat, chicken, warm/hot foods, most fruits and veggies, sweets, etc. all smell and taste like a sewage system.

it’s so frustrating because i’m already fasting for ramadan and my stomach has shrunk because of the fasting so it’s hard enough to keep anything down. not to mention, this is literally an ED page and eating is already something i struggle with, and as soon as i try to increase my calories and recover, i literally can’t stomach anything.

a really sick, twisted part of me is kinda glad for the parosmia because i graduate in a few weeks and i’ll probably lose a lot of weight before then if things keep going the way they are.

has anyone else who’s recovered from covid been experiencing these symptoms? i haven’t met anyone with this and it’s really hard describing it to my mother, who thinks she knows everything and keeps saying “oh it can’t be that bad, just eat!” like no shit, i would if i could 😭

[official-lucifers-child]

people will say they aren’t attractive and then go create art and then go write beautiful poetry and then go bake a cake for a friend and then go spread positivity and then go write a novel and then continue to say they aren’t attractive, as if everything they do doesn’t count or doesn’t matter, as if societal expectations somehow decide their worth and fate.

[skinniminiaa]

Do it for the..

“You got skinny!”

“Wow I can fit my hand all the way around your wrist”

Jealous stares

Size XXS and 00

“You can sit on my lap since you’re obviously the lightest”

Beautiful in anything

“You’re so light!”

“I’ll give you a piggyback ride”

Confidence in dressing rooms

Bikini body

Dainty wrists

Hip bones

Collarbones that dip for days

Slender legs

Thigh gaps

“You look like a model!”

“How did you do it?”

ability to feel confident in your own skin

[inritum]

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

[ghostdog07]

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

[deathklaue]

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

[doryishness]

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

[victoriaringsinyourears]

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

[lenshade]

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

[themixedbagofwhat]

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

[wodkat]

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

[acstiel]

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

[juststrokemyglabella]

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

[adweeb-deactivated20160228]

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

[vermillionkill-deactivated20230]

worth a shot huh

[grascet]

WHY THE HELL NOT

[thikachu]

sorry my dudes i can’t not

[ratatatatataracoon]

HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY LOST WEIGHT. I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING LIKE MY PANTS ARE STARTING TO SLIP DOWN A LOT OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK SO I WANTED TO LOSE WEIGHT AND LOOK CUTE AND OR INNOCENT DURING THE PROCESS AND LITERALLY TWO TIMES THIS KIND TEACHER AT MY SCHOOL SAID I ALWAYS LOOKED COMFY

Guys.

And the second time she asked why do you always look so comfy with so many sweaters and loose jeans as I was walking to the bus. Mind fucking blown.

[d-135am]

Let’s see

[20stanleyname]

I wish I get a nice job in 2020 and be happy, like really happy

[skimnyspinebreaker]

Let’s give this a go then…

[fuckeverythingiwannadie]

i want to have lost 10+ pounds by the time i get a new scale (my fatass broke the last one)

[fatbifche]

PLEASE WORK OH GOSH

[tapemeasuring]

mayyybeee have those tiny shorts be loose on me soon ??🥰🥺🥺

[panic-at-the-social-event-boi]

Let’s give this a shot

[thincallie]

I want to lose 30lbs in the next 2 months.

[nicolesdiaryofaned]

I wish to have lost 20+ lbs by the end of this August :)

[whelp-i-relapsed]

By the end of my room quarantine, I want my waist to be 24in!! Havent seen this before so I hope it works!!

[lickingballz2]

I wish I’ll get to my ugw of 35 kg in the next 3 months

[iiiwannakms]

i will reach my ugw by may :)

[ariaxxx]

i will reach my second goal weight by may :)

[ariaxxx]

i’m not gonna be active on here for a while because im getting ready for graduation, college, moving, financial aid, etc... and i honestly don’t have time to maintain this acc while doing all that... i’ll probably post every once in a while and rb stuff more often but i can’t do any more detailed posts.

thank you to those of you who have supported me until now 💛

[missmamibee]

hey

some real non-toxic weight loss tips for ya!

negative calorie foods aren’t real

if you only do cardio you’re gonna be really flabby cause you lost ur muscles first

you wont get bulky from lifting low (10-15lb) weights you will just lose fat faster

you can drink too much water 

fats are not your enemy oh my god! if you eat fatty foods you stay full all day

you can lose up to 2 pounds a week if you eat a whopping 1,200 cals a day. seriously.

not eating enough slows metabolism = slower weight loss

the more carbs you eat the hungrier you are gonna get during the day

take ur damn multivitamin

you will be fine if you cheat on your diet once or twice. you wont gain anything from eating a single piece of cake. you could die tomorrow enjoy your life

lose it slow for minimum skin sagging

fruits have a lot of sugar, cut them out if you are taking the proper vitamins

spot training isn’t real you cant just lose it in one place

stress can make you retain weight. so, ironically, if you’re worried about losing all the time you will just lose it slower

track your weight loss with weekly measurements. The scale is addicting and usually inaccurate and you will feel a lot more accomplished this way.

Your ideal thin self with a wonderful life doesn’t exist. Its still going to be you but just a little smaller. Learn to love the you right now cause you are all you got.

[exxfatty]

🌸THIS IS IMPORTANT 🌸

✨Be Safe✨

[ariaxxx]

abc diet - day 6 stats

day 6: 200 calories

calories eaten:

i binged. i’ve already given myself a scolding and i’m ready to get beck on track tomorrow. i’ll fix it.

total calories: way too many

exercise:

40 crunches

40 cross crunches (per leg)

40 leg raises (per leg)

40 donkey kicks (per leg)

40 minutes of walking (~3,500 steps, -178 calories)

i did 2 reps of this exercise—one in the afternoon on an empty stomach, and one at night before bed

note: i don’t have a scale so im just going off of before/after pictures of my body!

tomorrow is day 7, which will be 300 calories;; i’ll update then

[heart-of-a-wildflower-deactivat]

Random ED things nobody really talks about

Being jealous of friends or people who have been severely underweight/ hospitalized

Hundreds of awkward angle body checking photos

Looking at the size of your legs/body in every mirror, reflection, shop window

Being disgusted at watching people eat

Comparing people’s body size and weight to yours before noticing anything else about them

Being obsessed with cooking/dieting/food programmes

The pain of hitting your hip bone on a table

Hating yourself for judging anyone who is healthy or overweight

Being proud of your lowest weight once recovered/weight restored

Eye rolls when anyone without an ED discusses their new diet/weight loss

Eating every tiny bit of a specific calorie portioned food because damn if you’ve counted those calories you are gonna enjoy them

Feeling embarrassed for eating ‘unhealthy’ foods because people assume you eat nothing/survive on lettuce

‘Wow you’re actually eating’ kill me

Not enjoying excercise or wanting to work out

Alternating between being scared of all food and wanting to consume everything in sight

Really horrific awful bad breath (like seriously bad)

One day you’re too scared to eat a tomato the next you eat chocolate without worrying about it

Looking in the mirror after eating and feeling like you gained 20lbs

The anxiety and embarrassment of buying laxatives/diet pills

[ariaxxx]

abc diet - day 5 stats

day 5: 100 calories

calories eaten:

seasoned salad w/ light ranch: 100 calories

4?? 5 cups?? of tea: 0 calories

total calories eaten: 100 calories

exercise:

35 crunches

35 cross-crunches (per leg)

40 leg raises (per leg)

40 donkey kicks (per leg)

i did 2 reps of this exercise—one in the afternoon on an empty stomach, and one at night before bed

note: i don’t have a scale so im just going off of before/after pictures of my body!

tomorrow is day 6, which will be 200 calories;; i’ll update then!

[pointless-existancee]

Did anyone else go through a random recovery where your mental health just improved in general which allowed you to kick your ED mentality to the curb and see through body dysmorphia but then gained a decent amount of weight making you unhappy with your body and reverting back to ED habits even though you don’t have the same obsession anymore and now feel like you don’t really have an ED anymore because it’s not that bad you just have disordered eating and also kinda wish your mental health would just fuck up so you could at least go back to being a real Anorexic/bulimic ect. Because boy this feels shit and confusing and I really do feel like I’m faking it now.

[terrriya-deactivated20201127]

Daily stretches for mornings and better sleep.

[ariaxxx]

my collarbones are starting to show without me having to make them 🥺

[ariaxxx]

abc diet - day 4 stats

day 4: 400 calories

calories eaten:

skinless seasoned chicken tenders (8oz) w/ sauce: 300 calories

salad w/ seasoning and light ranch: 100 calories

total calories eaten: 400 calories

exercise:

30 crunches

35 cross crunches (per leg)

40 leg raises (per leg)

40 donkey kicks (per leg)

i did 2 reps of this exercise—one in the afternoon on an empty stomach, and one at night before bed

note: i don’t have a scale so im just going off of before/after pictures of my body!

tomorrow is day 5, which will be 100 calories;; i’ll update then!

[skinny-and-aesthetic]

reblog if you aren’t in recovery and dont want to recover but you still support recovery and think people should recover

[decidedlyunhappy]

PSA

I think i speak for every ED blog when i say that even though i hate myself and my body - i do not think the same about any of my followers.

you could weigh 200lbs more than me and i still would not think you’re ugly, MY body dysmorphia and MY ED does not extend to you

[g0ne2w0nderland2]

never not reblog

[isthemoonstillinlovewiththesun]

!!!

[ariaxxx]

abc diet - day 3 stats

day 3: 300 calories

calories eaten:

4oz seasoned skinless chicken: 150 calories

salad w/ light ranch: 50 calories

1 cup red grapes: 100 calories

total calories eaten: 300 calories

exercise:

30 crunches

30 cross crunches (per leg)

30 leg raises (per leg)

30 donkey kicks (per leg)

i did 2 reps of this workout—one in the afternoon on an empty stomach, and one at night before bed

note: i don’t have a scale so im just going off of before/after pictures of my body!

tomorrow is day 4, which will be 400 calories. i’ll update then!!