Gay Weebcore

Being illiterate and other things

[arickert93]

Animal Crossing is Really Effing  Boring, and I Love It So Much

I don’t know how many of you need to read this, but I definitely need to write this. Social media sites like Facebook and Twitter are abuzz with proclamations of joy for the game called Animal Crossing: New Horizons, or あつまれどうぶつの森 (Atsumare Doubutsu no Mori, literally “Gather Up! Animal Forest”). If you’re like my mom, you’re probably really interested in such a popular Japanese game because East Asian culture has become so globally legible in the past few decades. 

So, for all of you out there who want some armchair knowledge of the newest Japanese game that’s become almost trivial knowledge to swarths of internet-users, then buckle up, buttercup. Here’s five reasons why this game is so good:

1. You Can Choose Your Gender, But This Choice Means Nothing

The game begins thus: you’re a cute little human (boy/girl/gender-fluid) on an airplane to an uninhabited island that you will be living on. Yes, you can change your gender anytime AND you can wear whatever clothing you like regardless of your gender. Yes, the metaphoric implications of a game about fleeing to a deserted island is ironically an extremely successful game during a time of global quarantine. Don’t think about it too much.

The island is owned by a cute raccoon dog (tanuki in Japanese) named Tom Nook. He and his two identical twin baby tanukis provide you with a tent and some basic furniture, along with two other random villagers who were on the same flight as you: in my case, a unibrowed squirrel named Airisu and an anteater whose name is like Makoto or something.

Together, Airisu, (maybe) Makoto and I began slowly exploring the island. The game lliterally tells you at the beginning, “do whatever you want.” You can run around, discover fruits, and visit Tom Nook&co. in his large, central tent that serves as a town hall. It’s a simple premise that becomes exponentially more interesting.

2.Tom Nook Is a Capitalist and, Yet, I’m Weirdly OK with It

Nook is all about that cash, or bells as the in-game currency is named. After a day goes by, he begins to make suggestions. You can use his workbench to craft furniture and other items out of resources you’ve found around the island. He teaches you how to make tools to extract resources from different objects on the island. You can build a fishing rod to fish (and sell the ones you catch to him of course), or a net to catch insects (again, sell-able for bells), or a shovel to mine iron and stone from rocks. For some, this becomes the purpose of the game: to generate revenue to enable further progress in the game.

But it’s, like, utopic capitalism. Resources are literally infinite (because they are not real) and no one is poor. The game is quite generous, offering tons of freebies that make even chopping wood from your trees an exciting experience. Tom Nook, and his deputy mayor, Isabelle, ultimately treat you like the Head of the Village, and the game quickly becomes more about sharing and having fun.

3. PETA is Mad about It, Which Means It Definitely Treats Animals More Ethically than PETA

Notoriously extreme non-profit PETA wrote a “vegan guide” about how you should not use the game to symbolically harm animals. Yes, the game features fishing, bug-catching, and clamming, and PETA claims that because this would harm the animal in real life, players should abstain from doing it in game.

It’s theoretically possible to avoid fishing and bug-catching, but it means you will only get to experience about 40% of the game. For example, there is a museum where you display the different insects, fish, and pre-historic fossils you find around the island, but to invite Blathers the Owl to your island and prompt him to build this museum, you must catch and “donate” these items to his museum where he displays them. Nook’s twins will buy fish and bugs, villagers will keep fish and bugs as pets. No villager is ever shown eating meat.

In fact, everyone is vegan. The only edible resource in the game is fruit which, when consumed, let’s you dig up and transplant trees (very nifty), or destroy rocks (which you should never do...). Even carnivore animals, like my Tiger Maririn, only drink fruit smoothies, or talk about protein powder, as my anteater “probably-Makoto” does incessantly. He, like every jock, loves to talk about being a jock.

4. I Weirdly Care About My AI Villagers?

I’m an Animal Crossing veteran. I remember when I first played Animal Crossing on the Gamecube at my daycare, the boy playing it with me genuinely asked me “are you a boy or a girl?” when we had to decide our in-game gender. I remember being so furious when he would continuously reset the game.

I remember, as a teenager, talking about my “crush” on certain villagers in the game with some guy I actually had a crush on. Nook, Blathers, the villagers, they’ve been with me throughout my life. I genuinely like them all.

And they have gotten so much smarter. The dozens of different animal species that can populate your town have some pretty sophisticated AI.

And they become your best friends.

Villagers give you presents, they tell funny stories, they interact with each other, and they have personalities. You can also give them clothes and they wear the clothes if they like it and it’s so precious. They’re kind of like tamagotchi, if anyone remembers that. Although, some of them suck, and that’s why you ignore them until they move away from neglect. I don’t have time and energy for everyone, ok?

5. It Helps Me In My Real Life

This game is easy to complain about. The gameplay can be laborious. The third-person camera angle is one-dimensional, so you have to structure your island to ensure you aren’t hiding things. It’s super easy to mess up simple procedures because your character is slightly facing the wrong direction. Your watering can breaks and you have to constantly build new ones. And, inviting someone to your island takes hours of menu navigation and loading screens (ok, more like five minutes, but still).

But, all of this is weirdly OK? It is a life sim, after all, and life is about balance.

The time in the game is real-world, which means if something takes a day inside the game, it takes an actual day. I think about my own time so much more confidently now. I know the value of focused work. I’ve spent hours of free time arranging my fruit trees into a giant orchard, decorating my tatami bedroom to the tiniest detail, and building flower fields devoted to my kangaroo, Mami, a single-mom with an everpresent joey in her pouch who actually waters flowers and teaches me useful recipes, and whom I cherish as my in-game soulmate. The game helps me stay focused and think about large-scale tasks as discrete pockets of consistent (sometimes unpleasant) work. 

At times, it’s pleasantly boring. And boredom is the greatest place to find inspiration.

If you don’t already own a Nintendo Switch, good luck. They’re short-stocked in both the US and Japan as the COVID-19 pandemic unfolds. But for anyone who still hasn’t downloaded what is shaping up to be the best game of 2020, send me your friend code if you do. Seriously. 

[arickert93]

Post-Japan VI: The Closet

This is a short series of posts relating to my experiences of moving back to a small, rural American town after living in a small, rural Japanese town for 3 years.

I haven’t thought about “the closet” since I came back. No one assumes anything about me, although they notice that I don’t act like a typical “straight” man. In my new circles, no one asks personal questions about someone’s love life, people are more careful to use gender-neutral language, and I saw a gay couple holding hands in a regular (i.e. non-gay) bar the other week, and no one batted an eyelash. Sure, I COULD be beaten to death if I find myself acting the wrong way in the wrong place. But, I find myself in the right places, and it feels amazing.

New thoughts to be posted every few days for who knows how long.

[arickert93]

Post-Japan V: The Right Choice

This is a short series of posts relating to my experiences of moving back to a small, rural American town after living in a small, rural Japanese town for 3 years.

I’m pretty sure I made the right choice in coming back to my hometown for graduate school. I feel more challenged than ever, but in ways that excite me, and invigorate me. I get to interact with entirely new, opinionated, unique people whenever I like. I have more time and resources to devote to my mental and physical health.

But just because the choice to come back was the right one doesn’t mean my original choice to go wasn’t also the right one. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is take a step; a step backwards can also be a step forward.

New thoughts to be posted every few days for who knows how long.

[arickert93]

Post-Japan IV: Show-Off

This is a short series of posts relating to my experiences of moving back to a small, rural American town after living in a small, rural Japanese town for 3 years.

Sometimes I feel like I’m showing off when I talk about living abroad. I have been an adult for 7.5 years, and 4 of those years were spent outside the U.S. For me, a kid who grew up 2 hours from the nearest international airport, with no means to travel outside a 6-hour radius of where I grew up, this is an incredible accomplishment. I never thought I would be able to do the things I have done so far.

That said, is it rude to make other people listen to my accomplishments? Do I have to justify my choices by seeking validation in other people? It seems boring to listen to someone reminisce about their own experiences. 

New thoughts to be posted every few days for who knows how long.

[arickert93]

Post-Japan III: The People

This is a short series of posts relating to my experiences of moving back to a small, rural American town after living in a small, rural Japanese town for 3 years.

It feels simultaneously kitsch-y and genuine to answer the question “What was the best part of living in Japan” by answering “The people.”

I am so grateful for the kindness people showed me. Several of my co-teachers became irreplaceable friends to me, and some of those friendships I hope I can continue for the rest of my life. I dated one of the most generous, pure-hearted people I have ever met, and he added so much depth and richness to my time there that I could never repay him.

Even the people who made my time there more difficult: the shitty teacher who didn’t think I deserved my job, the occasional student who treated me like a toy or object... I’m glad I met those people, few as they were. I felt empowered once I learned to ignore them. Even they had something to teach me.

New thoughts to be posted every few days for who knows how long.

[arickert93]

Post-Japan II: Sad Happy

This is a short series of posts relating to my experiences of moving back to a small, rural American town after living in a small, rural Japanese town for 3 years.

Everyone can relate to conflictedness, but that’s not what they wanted to hear about when they ask me what it was like to live abroad for 3 years. They want to hear stories of excitement, or adventure, or overcoming challenges and learning new languages. In short, they want to hear about the good parts, and I have so many good things to share.

But, I feel like I have no one to talk to about the bad parts. The feelings of total isolation. The monotony of running past the same supermarket every evening, or biking by the “手作りの豆腐 or hand-made tofu” shop every morning during my 10-minute commute. I can’t talk about the depression, or the anxiety. The realization that I had left my friends and family across the ocean to do something that I didn’t always enjoy or believe in. Those things are secrets.

New thoughts to be posted every few days for who knows how long.

[arickert93]

Post-Japan I: Dream

This is a short series of posts relating to my experiences of moving back to a small, rural American town after living in a small, rural Japanese town for 3 years. 

The first thing that stands out to me is that all of my experiences in Japan feel like they were a dream. I have a few theories about why this is. First, no one from my time in Japan came back to the US with me (especially people who I spent a substantial amount of time with). Because of this, I have no one to corroborate my experiences, and the more time passes, the less real some of them seem to me. It helps when I speak to Japanese friends online, or talk to other returnees from abroad, but it’s such a personal feeling that it’s difficult to share.

New thoughts to be posted every few days for who knows how long.

[arickert93]

That Time I Taught a Night Class

I look so adorable, and yet I was about to shit my pants.

About a year ago, I was happily sitting at my desk during my visit school day (where I teach in another city once a week). The head teacher of the night school, an after school program in which young adults who work during the day can take classes towards their high school diploma (essentially a GED program), approached me. He didn’t speak much English, and through broken Japanese, gesturing, and a few teachers to interpret, I discovered that I was being asked to give a lecture at the night school.

“The students speak no English whatsoever,” my co-teacher informed me, “So, it would be best if you used as much Japanese as possible.”

I gawked at the request, but some weird part of me felt riled by the challenge. Plus, I would be given a pretty generous bonus for doing the class, and I really felt like this would be a good opportunity to put some of my Japanese to use.

I was asked to give a lecture about my experiences as a gaikokujin (foreigner). I agreed, although I immediately realized I didn’t have much to talk about, as I had been spending most of my time in Japan visiting other countries, playing video games, or going to gay bars.

Trembling with antici...pation

The worst part about preparing for the class was all of the stories various teachers told me about night schools while I was preparing. One teacher told me about students who flashed teachers in the middle of class just to get a rise out of them. 

Another teacher told me about how her class were so difficult to motivate that she eventually just had them copy everything she wrote on the board for the duration of the class. “They aren’t very good at learning,” she explained, “But they really liked mindlessly writing things down.”

I was horrified.

Jeopardy

At first, I was planning to do Barnga, a class in which groups of students would play various card games. After a few minutes, students would be shuffled around and they would have to learn how to play the new card game without being able to speak to each other. This was meant to simulate what it can feel like to assimilate to a foreign culture.

When I told this to the head teacher, he blatantly refused. “They are extremely slow,” he explained.

“But all of the information will be given in Japanese? The card games are really quite simple to learn!” I protested. But, he was resolute. He had no confidence that the students would be able to do it.

“Just a simple lecture will do,” he said.

But, even with my lack of experience, I knew this was a terrible idea. Clearly these students didn’t thrive in classroom environments, and if I had learned anything from teaching students in a foreign language, it was that you had to trick them into learning.

Eventually, I settled on playing jeopardy. I could prepare a powerpoint in Japanese, it would be a good way of teaching them about the U.S. so they understood my cultural context. 

Technical difficulties

The amount of problems I had projecting a powerpoint in the school’s AUDIO VISUAL ROOM (what the fuck do they use this for anyway!?) would equate to a rant of epic proportions. Let’s just say that I had to fight to get that powerpoint on that screen, but it was worth it.

The teachers prepared a really amazing banner for my class, and the whole thing was presented as a really exciting event. I was super nervous, however, mainly because I felt like I had nothing meaningful to say and it was going to come across even worth in my butchered Japanese.

But, I wish I had some pictures to show just how great it went. The students were basic high school students. They were super patient with my bad Japanese and enthusiastically fought to answer my Jeopardy questions, and they listened with rapt attention to a speech I had prepared to conclude the class. I talked about things I liked and disliked about living in Japan, my journey self-studying Japanese, and the growing need for globally aware Japanese youngsters in a time when immigration in Japan is predicted to rise. 

The students even asked questions, some of them able to make full sentences in English. Many of them appeared to be multi-ethnic, and very intelligent. I began to wonder if the only reason they were taking night classes was because of economic hardship. 

All I can say is that I learned three things from that class:

1) I can speak Japanese better than I think I can, as long as I don’t care about perfection.

2) Never walk into a classroom with preconceptions about the students. Focus on making your content as approachable as possible, but believe in kids and they will reward you.

3) Never say no to a challenge. If you fail, you fail. But, it might be amazing. What is there to lose?

That said, it was hella stressful and I was so glad when it was over. Challenges are great, but extra work still sucks!

[arickert93]

Why I Can’t Use My Gym

Once upon a time, Alex the Cute was cycling to his local gym where he planned to pump some iron and stare at other cute men, some of them middle-aged (oh boy!) In his pack were exercise shoes, a protein shake, and all of the various documentation he needed to use the said gym because it was Japan, and therefore bureaucratic and tedious. He was so excited.

Upon parking his bicycle, he noticed another lad, of pale skin and fair eyes, who too was parking his bicycle. Alex lives in a foreign land, so seeing another person of his ethnic background automatically means that they should talk to each other (for some reason.) And so, talk they did, but Alex’s polite smile soon faded.

This stranger was from another foreign land from Alex, so they didn’t really have that in common. Plus, this stranger was significantly older than Alex... and not especially interesting... and eager, for some reason, to share copious amounts of personal details with Alex that Alex didn’t really care to know. Within moments, Alex learned that his new friend was going through a divorce with kids involved, and had developing heart disease. 

Alex went inside to work out after sever minutes of awkwardly trying to extract himself from the conversation, and all seemed well. However, the stranger too intended to pump some iron, and whilst Alex was pumping his own iron, the stranger kept awkwardly making eye contact with him and speaking to him, which caused Alex to have to remove his ear buds and tensely listen to this stranger’s apparently endless tales.

By the end of the day, Alex’s curse was sealed. Rather than be an adult and tell this new person that he didn’t like talking at the gym, Alex realized he could never use this gym again. He went on many quests atop his gallant, bewheeled steed, searching high and lo for a new gym to pump some iron. And found one he did, and Alex never had to talk to the stranger again, and all was well.

The end.

[arickert93]

Annoying-sensei

When you’ve taught in Japan long enough, you find that Japanese teachers are just as varied and colorful in personality as anywhere else in the world (because DUH, ya racist). And, with that variety comes the invariable dud or two. Alongside “Fashionable-sensei,” or “Hilarious-sensei,” or the “beloved Drunk-sensei” is the odious “Annoying-sensei.”

I met my Annoying-sensei about a year ago. At first, I thought he was nice. He enthusiastically spoke to me in English, seemed eager to teach with me, and even co-supervised the weekly English lunch, helping me connect with the students. He dutifully praised my Japanese skills, which I meekly protested but secretly loved. I even found him, dare I say, attractive when I first met him... in a sweet, dad-like kind of way. And yet, his insufferable qualities soon reared their ugly heads, and I was powerless to my rage.

1. He doesn’t shut the fuck up.

This is the most acute reason why I hate him. This man cannot look at me without saying something. His unending deluge of Japanese set phrases for “good morning,” “I look forward to working together,” and “Nice work!” are causing me to despise the Japanese language altogether. 

His previously welcome compliments suddenly became condescending. When I say “Let’s have a good year,” in Japanese, and he responds with over-the-top surprise at my ability to say anything whatsoever, it somehow doesn’t feel very flattering. When I show him a lesson plan and he exclaims “Wow, you made a lesson plan! So impressive!” I can only glare and think, “Did you expect me NOT to do my job?”

Even when I coldly stave off conversation with him, he still manages to annoy me with constant humming, murmuring to himself, and grunts of surprise at finding things on his desk. He never stops. Ever.

2. Snitches get stitches.

He sits next to me, so there’s no escaping him. When I come in the morning, he sees me. Once, I didn’t have class all day, so I decided to come in about 15 minutes late, as many ALTs are apt to do. Don’t you dare judge me, because unlike teachers everywhere else in the world, I still have to come to school during student holidays, and only get 4 weeks of personal leave that I have to spread across the year. Plus, I supervise English lunch, which means I am working an extra 45 minutes every day. No one gets hurt if I come in late every once in a while, and no one even notices.

Except for him.

He immediately runs to greet me. “Oh, you’re late today!”

I tense, “Yes... My train was late.” He nods at my excuse and leaves. A few minutes later he comes back.

“I’ve told the vice principal that you were late. Would you go speak to him for a minute?”

This guy was going out of his way to get me into trouble, and he barely even knew me! Thankfully, the vice principal bought my story and nothing ever came of it, but I never forgot the day Mr. Annoying betrayed me.

3. I don’t even know why I hate him.

You know those people who are lovable idiots? Well he’s an unlovable idiot. But, still being an idiot, something in me cringes at myself for being so rude to him. He’s clearly an enthusiastic, genuine person who loves his job and wants to interact with people around him. And yet, I want nothing more than to drown him in a urinal. I hate him all the more for the guilt I feel for hating him. 

“Oh, Alex,” you sigh as you read this, chuckling to yourself. “You’re just fine! Just ignore him!” And with a boop to my nose, you think you’ve made everything better.

But I can’t ignore him. Every tired morning... every sweaty afternoon fanning myself beside the electric fan... every moment staring blankly at the wall behind the copier, wishing I didn’t have to teach classes, he’s there. When I miss my mom, or I don’t want to talk to anyone, there he is, ever and always demanding my time and energy. 

In some ways, he really isn’t the problem. He’s the embodiment of feeling trapped and overwhelmed and homesick. But rather than face those feelings, I direct my rage at him, and rant about him to my friends, and write flaming blogs about him across my social media.

And you know what? It feels good to hate him.

[wyoming1]

It seemed like a good idea at the time…..

So, I told myself that if I lost 20 pounds I would begin to blog about my journey.  Well, today I hit 24 pounds down and am making myself do what I promised.  Weight loss, what a huge pain in the ass.  We all want to be thinner but when you try to lose weight it is like your body becomes your worst enemy!  I guess to start, it would be good to explain WHY I decided to go on this physical and emotional roller coaster.  First, I had been topping the scale at 174 pounds on my 5′5 frame and felt like absolute crap.  It was like being pregnant FOREVER!  It was hard to breath, it was painful, and I HATED looking in the mirror. The woman staring back at me was not me, it was this old, dumpy, fat version of me and I hated her.  Pictures of me made me cry and would be deleted immediately.  Anyone posting pictures of me were immediate enemy’s.  I realized the hard way that once you hit your 40′s, being overweight makes you look OLD.  I agree that looks aren’t everything, but they sure help.

Okay, enough whining about how awful I looked.  The point being, I was terribly unhappy with myself.  However, I was also living in Denial-ville in what I was doing about this whole situation.  You know, the usual crap of “But I exercise constantly and I don’t eat much!” was always coming out.  I was SURE I was active!  Then, I changed jobs and was super busy and sitting at my desk constantly and there went on another 10 pounds in one year!  Finally, I got something that really changed my attitude about my exercise and general health.  I got a FitBit.  When I first put it on and saw that 10,000 was a daily goal, I scoffed and said to myself ‘oh hell, I KNOW I walk that much already!’.  Well, I didn’t.  Not even close!  So, then I started walking more often to see if I could hit the 10,000 step goal.  It took me DAYS to walk enough in one day to hit that goal.  It was sad really, but a great wake-up call!

So, I started with walking.  Walking seems so painless until you haven’t done it for awhile and you start going miles at a time.  Ibuprofen was my best friend for weeks and I took it at night so I could sleep past the aches and pains.  Okay, got that going, so I should start dropping weight like crazy, right?  Wrong.  I lost a few pounds after weeks, but no real progress so I had to take a serious look at what I was eating.  My mom went on a diet and lost 10 pounds and she said she ate toast at breakfast, a shake for lunch and a normal dinner.  I looked at her in horror and thought ‘I can’t eat nothing but toast for breakfast and a shake for lunch!  I will starve to death!’  I immediately thought of Ursula in Little Mermaid and rethought that.  So, I thought ‘Atkins Diet!’  I am sure you can the logical sense to that conclusion!  Now, I went to Wal-Mart and picked up some Atkins shakes and some of the snacks bars.  So, I started eating eggs and sausage for breakfast, and Atkins stuff throughout the day.  Okay, the only positive thing I can say about this brilliant plan was that I cut out most of the sugar I had been eating.  And, when they say sugar is addictive, they are not kidding!  I am now terrified of sugar because it feels WONDERFUL to have that sweet bastard off my back!  He was sucking the life out of me!  Once I cut out sugar, I did start losing weight.  Slowly, but steadily.  I actually did manage to cut back breakfast to 2 pieces of whole wheat toast with butter and jam.  I drink an Atkins shake around mid-morning and drink a protein shake for lunch with some fresh veggies around mid afternoon and then a normal dinner.  I have had countless plateaus and realized that you just had to keep at it and eventually you would begin to lose again.  I will say, I do take Slimquick but let me tell you why.  First, it didn’t cut my food cravings.  Second what it DOES do is make my jaw tight and the only way to loosen it up is to exercise.  So, it makes me exercise because otherwise I can’t stand the jaw thing.  Sounds horrible?  Well, it is, but it works so I do it. 

So, to wrap up this initial blog, what did I do to change my habits?  I now walk 15 to 20 minutes mid morning, exercise during lunch EVERY day, walk 15 to 20 minutes in the afternoon and then again for 30 minutes when I get home at night.  I have cut out all sugar from my daily diet except the jam on my toast.  No candy, no cookies, no pie.  Sound harsh?  It really isn’t once you get used to NOT eating that shit.  Best thing I ever did!  Have toast for breakfast, mid morning shake, shake for lunch, veggies for PM snack and then sensible dinner that doesn’t allow for me to be a hog.  One piece of meat, a ½ cup of some starch and veggies.  And the Slimquick that physically abuses me daily.  That is it.  #weightloss

[arickert93]

This is an essay my beautiful mother wrote about the first leg of her weight loss journey. Body image affects all of us, especially women, who are taught that the majority of their worth comes from their appearance. It can spiral into a vicious cycle of self-loathing and poor health practices. I’m glad to say my mom has emerged victorious.

Also, I love that she refers to sugar as “that sweet bastard.”

[arickert93]

Why I Hate “Types”

I know I haven’t posted something in a century. I have so many posts I want to do, like a post about my trip to Shanghai, my trip to Taipei, my thoughts and feelings on cultural appropriation, and several other topics. But then I get crushed by anxiety, laziness, and also embarrassment that I don’t have any gorgeous photos to make my post more professional-looking. 

But, ignoring that, I had some conversations recently that I really want to write about. Sometimes this blog is for the public, but mainly it’s for me, and this is something I want to make sense of.

“What is your type?”

I get asked this question ALL the time, and not just in English. Japanese speakers also pose me this question, sometimes taking it a step further and saying, “Are you attracted to Asian guys?” The Asian question bothers me even more. It seems to be implying that Asian men aren’t attractive, when really I rarely think about race.

This seems like a cop out answer, but I do not have a type, and I don’t really think you should either. I don’t think anyone, especially someone in their 20s has enough self-awareness to know what they like and don’t like. Moreover, saying you have a type is like saying that certain populations of people basically look the same. How do you know you don’t like Asian guys? Have you seen every single Asian guy there ever was and decided you weren’t attracted to each one of them individually? This is stumbling to a controversial conclusion, but implying that you find some races attractive, while others not, is racist.

To make a more capitalistic analogy, since that is the world we live in, saying you only prefer certain kinds of guys is like saying you only shop at one store. Sure, that store might usually carry clothes you like at reasonable prices, but isn’t it fun to shop at other stores from time to time? Haven’t you changed favorite stores at some point in your life, or have you honestly been going to Forever 21 ever since you knew what a store was? If so, I feel sorry for you. You have a narrow-minded worldview.

I get comments like these all the time.

“Foreign guys are just built differently.” Ok? Thanks?

“You smell like a Japanese person.” Maybe that’s because I live in Japan and eat Japanese food like other Japanese people?

“Don’t you find that Japanese guys tend to be a little disappointing... down there?” Nope!

“Japanese people are...” JUST STOP. Quit making sweeping statements about an ethnicity or culture that extends far beyond your range of experience. 

It begs the question: why? Why do people like to create group identities for each other, and separate millions of wildly diverse people into boxes? I suppose the illusion is that you can save time vetting people you aren’t interested in. But if you truly believe in the efficacy of eliminating people from your dating pool based on physical appearance, and uncontrollable things like hair or eye color, then I suspect you may not have that many successful relationships anyway.

If you have any other topics like this that you’d like me to discuss, be sure to leave a comment or question. My name is Alex, and I have a lot of opinions.

[arickert93]

Trying (and Failing) to Be Environmentally Friendly: Week 1 (?)

Over the past month, due to various smart-sounding podcasts and Facebook video binges, I’ve started to feel seriously terrified about the downward spiral that the world is taking regarding waste management and climate control. As a resident of Japan, it’s absurd how much packaging I need to throw away to cook a simple meal, most of it plastic. I can’t go to a convenience store without having plastic bags thrust at me. Even bananas are wrapped in plastic.

Usually, in true stride with my natural personality, I give up once something looks difficult and blame it on other people. Never miss an opportunity to be a victim: that’s gonna be the name of my book. But, this time, I decided I need to start doing something. Thus began the primordial thoughts and shower-induced self rants about trying to give up plastic.

But for now, giving up plastic is 100% absurd. I would starve to death. So, instead, I want to try to stop using plastic bags, straws, plastic bottles, and plastic silverware. Small, simple things that can be cut, right?

The first thing I did was NOT put a reusable bag in my backpack whenever I went shopping. For the past week I have resorted to squishing my groceries in with my gym clothes, and there were at least two times when I simply didn’t have space and had to cave. So, that was a smashing success.

Moreover, as someone who doesn’t speak Japanese very well, refusing a bag at a store usually involves me staring at the clerk maniacally until they reach for the plastic bag so I can wave my hands and mutter “Fukuro wa irimasen! I don’t need a bag!” Once, while zoning out, the cashier already had the bag in his hands before I realized what was happening and jumped down his throat. He carefully put the bag back, avoiding eye contact.

At a bakery, I had another terrible experience. First of all, the pastries were behind glass, so you couldn’t grab anything yourself. The woman was clearly not in a good mood, and seemed confused that I was choosing more than one pastry (as if anyone takes just one pastry?!). I then realized that she was putting each pastry in its own small, plastic bag. I freaked out and asked her in broken Japanese: “Put in same bag, please?” She stared at me, then pulled each of the pastries out of their bags and put them all into a new bag. I mentally face-palmed. She then put the pastry bag into a plastic wrapper, and put that plastic wrapper into another bag. I wondered what she thought the point of the original outburst was, but was too mentally drained to scold her. She was just doing her job, after all.

That’s the main problem in general. Nobody wants all of the plastic, but we feel compelled to give it to each other. That’s the first thing that needs to change: rather than automatically reaching for a plastic bag, or plastic silverware, the cashier should give the customer a choice to go without. In some stores they charge a couple of extra yen for plastic bags, which is a charge that is automatically included unless you verbally refuse the bag. Why is this a thing?

Not all clerks feel this way, though. At the convenience store I go to regularly, I assured the clerk I didn’t need a bag. “No bag please. Environment,” I commented seriously. She nodded her head knowingly, “This is true.” Ever since she asks me before giving me a disposable item, and I feel compelled to refuse even though I have way too many items, and drop half of them on my way out the door. Maybe one day I will remember that reusable bag...

[arickert93]

The Decision: Being Real

The past few months (perhaps even weeks) have been really intense for me. Everything in my life is going relatively well, to be honest. I am making memories with amazing people I’ve had the opportunity to meet over the last few years. I’ve had some days where I feel like utter garbage and can barely manage to leave the house. I feel like it’s a healthy mix, and I’m never gonna be dishonest about that. No one’s life is perfect.

What’s been most intense is the pressure to decide what path I plan on taking. I have made the decision not to recontract on JET for a 4th year, so now I have until July to make a plan. In some ways, this decision is liberating! I am leaving behind a job that has become monotonous and doesn’t inspire me to grow anymore, despite the great people I get to work with. I want to do something that challenges me, but ultimately gives back to me, teaches me.

As you can probably imagine, the decision doesn’t come without its share of apprehension as well. I am applying to graduate schools, other English programs abroad, and will begin applying for other jobs in Japan in the spring when I am closer to the end of my contract. But, I feel like all of those outcomes sound equal. I’m at a point where I wish I could split my life in three, and walk down three paths until it’s clear which one was best, and have them merge again. We only get on, short life, and there are so many things we can do with it. It is both thrilling and suffocating.

Whatever happens, I want to keep writing on this blog. And I want to reaffirm the point of this blog in the first place: to be real, and to look back on my experiences. I don’t want to project a perfect life, I want to project a well-pondered life. So, whatever choice I take, I want to chronicle the events that follow, the good, and the bad.

[arickert93]

Year 3: Winter Updates

Holy crap, it sure has been a while! I have been writing for GaijinPot, but have definitely been neglecting my personal blog and thought I would reach out from the void to let the three people who occasionally read this know that I am alive. Update from the previous blog: I am out to a bunch of other teachers now, and nobody has reacted whatsoever, or has followed up my coming out with any direct questions. At least I still have a job (knock on wood). Anyway, here’s some shit I did recently!

1. I went to a baseball game!

Baseball is a toss-up for me. On the one-hand, I still cringe when I think back to my five-year-old little league that I was FORCED to do by my dad. I resented him so much for it that I literally lied down in the outfield, hoping a ball would fall on me and kill me. My family still loves to remind me of this even to this day in fond jest of how freaking weird I was and am.

That said, when a coworker invited me and my new Australian co-ALT to a baseball game in Tokyo, partially because he wanted someone to talk to other than the friend he normally went with, I said yes! I had plans years ago during my first trip to Japan to see a game in Kobe, but it was cancelled due to rain. At the time, I was relieved because I really didn’t want to go, but I have changed since them. Honestly, anything that gets me out of the house is fine at this point.

Sorry for the bad light! 

We went to the Tokyo Dome near Suidobashi station. It was an Asia League game between Japan and Taipei, and was a surprisingly entertaining game! Our coworker actually paid for our tickets (what a guy!) and even through in the two free baseball Jerseys that were included with his purchase! We strolled around in our baseball garb and treated ourselves to some chicken teriyaki, Japanese beer, and takoyaki (fried octopus dumplings). Japan performed really well and, with a little help from our friend alcohol, we were actually able to get excited and care about who was hitting balls and scoring points!

Outside, there was actually a theme park (with roller coasters and everything) and lovely Christmas lights. By this point, though, I was already drunk and my phone sucks, so I wasn’t really able to take a good photo.

2. I visited a fox village!

Some friends spontaneously invited me to a trip to the Zao Fox Village in Miyagi Prefecture. We took the shinkansen, had lots of beer and wine, stayed in a super fancy ryokan with lovely outdoor baths, and woke up bright and early the next morning to visit what was essentially a fox zoo.

Most of the foxes are kept in the main yard where guests can also enter.

It was pretty cool, albeit a bit sad. If you research Zao Fox Village, a few other people also talk about how it doesn’t feel like the most humane joint in the world. The number of foxes is actually far too high for the space they are given, with  many of them sporting injuries from food fights or turf brawls. Foxes are not pack animals, as many of you know. 

If I had my way, I would cut the number of foxes down to a third. I think it would still be just as impressive. I also hope that the business accepts injured foxes for rehabilitation. If not, they should.

Afterwards, we went to Shiroishi, which was a tiny town and nearby shinkansen station. We visited a castle (aptly named Shiroi Castle) and walked around a bit. 

I stupidly didn’t actually take a picture of the castle itself. You can look it up! Isn’t this window pretty though? The steps to the top floor were crazy steep, so be grateful. I almost died.

3. I ran a 10k!

I also did this my first year (and probably wrote about it to be honest) but Bek and I, being avid runners, decided to join our students in their 10k last Sunday. In Japan, high schools are expected to participate in a nearby marathon as part of a school event. The distance they are made to run, but for our school it was a 5k for girls and a 10k for boys.

Lots of people, including Bek and I, would raise their eyebrows upon hearing this. Why in God’s name would girls be expected to run such a dramatically shorter distance? Bek, more determined than ever, charged through the run despite having a sore ankle. Our final time was around 54 minutes, which was 4 minutes less than my previous time two years ago! Not terrible!

I have to shout out to Bek as the MVP of this entire post, actually. She is such an active personality, and has taught me so much since I met her! We sure have gone on a number of adventures together, and I’ve only known her for a few months! She definitely reminds me that the best part of working abroad is the people you meet, and the memories you make. I hope all of you also make some pleasant memories this Christmas season! Until next time!

[arickert93]

Coming Out

I know it’s been a while, but I wanted to share some experiences I’ve been having lately for any of you LGBT folk who need something uplifting.

This year I have been struggling more than ever with feelings of guilt over my silence as a gay man. I’m VERY open, as you know, but with Japanese people I often let my shyness get the better of me and in the past have evaded questions about my love life. The most frustrating thing about this is Japanese people think it’s polite to assume that I am straight, phrasing their questions as “Do you have a girlfriend,” rather than using gender neutral language like “Are you dating someone?”

Last weekend, while out drinking with friends, I struck up a conversation with a Japanese man and woman on a date together. They were amused by the gaggle of wasted foreigners partying directly next to them, and started chatting with me when they realized I could speak a little Japanese.

Very quickly, after I thoroughly interrogated them on the nature of their date -- how it was going, how they had met, and whether they planned to date again -- they understandably threw the attention back at me and asked me if I had a “girlfriend.” Something in me snapped. I was, after all, surrounded by my friends and had nothing to lose with these people. I immediately gushed about my boyfriend and forced them to look at pictures of him for a solid ten minutes.

I then proceeded to come out to every other Japanese person in our group. My favorite part about their reactions is that almost every Japanese man asked me to evaluate his appearance: something along the lines of “Would you date me?” It was a little strange, but much better than awkwardness or, worse, outright aggression. After giving them all my gay stamp of approval, we proceeded to talk about things more openly, even flirtatiously. It was my kind of night.

Then, the other day at school, the real moment came. I teach weekly at an all-girls school and while talking to a group of students, a teacher innocently asked me if I had a... you already know.

My stomach folded in two. My heart pounded. I bit my lip. My brain almost physically recoiled from the question and the imminent feeling of self-disgust as I evaded the question.

Let me take a step back and explain why this means so much to me. As a gay teenager, I cannot describe how meaningful it was for me when I got to high school and discovered that my teachers were willing to talk about being LGBT, some of whom even came out to me as I got older. I dreamed that I could one day lend the same courage to my own students... And found that the courage had flushed out of me the moment my personality didn’t speak for itself.

And so, I did not evade the question. I answered, with an ounce of hesitation, “No, I have a boyfriend.”

Her eyes filled with recognition, but they were unreadably neutral. “Oh, I see,” she answered. The other students were equally neutral, quickly moving on to a new topic. My ears were still ringing from the shock of what I had just done... Students asked me questions about other things, and I did my best to stay natural, though my heart was still racing.

Later, the same teacher came over to my desk and made small-talk with me. I’m 75% sure she was doing this to reassure me she wasn’t angry or anything, but perhaps she lacked the courage or language to speak more openly with me about what had just happened. Regardless, the rest of the day passed uneventfully.

The biggest lesson I have learned in Japan is you should never take it for granted that someone will know who you are just by looking at you. If you are sincere, I find that courage is often rewarded. Perhaps one day I might not receive a positive reaction... I guess that will be a new challenge to overcome. Until then, I’m not going to be silent anymore.

Good luck.

[arickert93]

Five Things I Love and Hate about Japan

Hello, y’all! I know it’s been a while! I’ve been living my life, and I even went home this summer! While I was home, I got a clear idea of how my life has changed while living in Japan for two years, and I thought I would share some of those insights with you!

And, as nothing is perfect and I am a very negative person, I will be sure to always share my little caveat of pessimism for you. You’re welcome.

1. Public Transportation

Love: This is definitely the most talked about “pro” that people describe in Japan, so I won’t bore you too much, but of all the places I have lived, Japan is the only place where you can just show up at a train station with little to no preparation and make your way across the country. Every city has at least one train station and those stations are connected across various private and public railways, most of which allow you to pay using a universal IC card system. Just top off your card with plenty of cash and full speed ahead!

HATE: While the train timetables are usually absurdly reliable, delays can and do occur, and train service ends rather early (between 10 pm - 1 am). I have spent three hours once stuck in the middle of nowhere because of a train delay, and if you miss the last train, good luck, because buses are shit (basically just ways to get from one station to another more slowly and expensively). Taxis here are also extortionately expensive, and taxi alternatives like uber are illegal, or not allowed to charge less than other taxis. 

2. Food 

Love: I can’t deny that Japanese food is one of my favorite cuisines in the world! It offers all the fried, heavy foods that satisfy a hearty appetite while still stocking lighter fare for the health-conscious. Sushi, tempura, hot pot, and grilled fish are just a few of the things that make me salivate.

Hate: Ever hear of “too much of a good thing?” While Japanese food is amazing, it can get a little repetitive after a while if you’re not going out of your way to spice things up. The ingredients available to make western dishes, like lasagna or Thai curry, for example, are much harder to find, and expensive. I go out of my way every so often to keep from going crazy, but an American can only take so much!

3. Service

Love: Service in Japan is usually friendly, efficient, and painless. But, more incredible than that is you don’t have to tip! In fact, it’s even considered rude! I once went to a hairdresser who spoke fluent English and had worked in New York for ten years. The whole experience was so pleasant and my hair looked so great in the end, I couldn’t help but offer her a little extra to say thanks. However, to my surprise, she pushed the money back in my hand and assured me “This is Japan. We DON’T tip.” Of course, this is probably because servers are paid better wages (usually), and in fact they might even be a little overworked, but hey!

Hate: While the service is usually “friendly,” I would have to fault it for being a little impersonal. Talking to a cashier is like using a script. They welcome you, take your things, announce the prices of each item, ask you if you need chopsticks or a bag or whatnot, and tell you the final balance. If you go off script, you can almost see the gears turning in overdrive behind their eyes.

I actually think the impersonal nature of customer/server interaction helps make it easier for shyer servers to provide good service. Not everyone is good at making small talk or improvising conversations, and so polite language smooths things out a bit for both parties. Not to mention, most Japanese people don’t usually say more than a few words to their servers in the first place. It’s not a place to make friends, let’s just say that.

4. Water Temperature

Love: This is something that threw me off when I was back in the U.S. for the summer. In Japan, all water heaters have a thermostat that is usually near the bathroom. You can use it to adjust the temperature (I usually keep it in the high 90s) and even turn of the heater overnight or during the day to conserve power. This means that you can run the hot water from the faucet and it won’t exceed the temperature you set.

However, in the U.S., the water is either ice cold or scalding hot, and the faucet controls the ratio of each to control the temperature. I burned the crap out of my hands more times than I can count while I was back in the U.S. because I forgot to run some cold water along with the hot.

Hate: The countless times my guests took showers in my apartment, not realizing the hot water was turned off, and meekly told me about their cold shower later. They must have thought I was the worst host in the world! Also, getting into a cold shower in the middle of winter only to realize you creep out into the freezing air and turn on the heat...

5. Clothes

Love: I can’t explain what a life-changing experience it was for me to move to Japan and finally live in a country where I am the average size. Suddenly, I can go to all stores and find clothes that fit me! This sounds a little braggy, but being a small person in the U.S. is actually quite stressful. A bit reason why my confidence was so poor in school, I think, was because most of my clothes didn’t fit me very well. There was a reason I had to go scene: it was the only style that consisted of tight-fitting clothes!

Hate: Not everyone experiences the clothing wonderland that is Japan. Women especially, many of whom already have screwed up body images, will probably be horrified upon arriving in Japan and realize that everything is made for walking sticks.

Bonus Positivity! Vending Machines!

I just love vending machines here. They are so cheap, and everything costs between 1-2 dollars. Vending machines in the U.S. JUST PLAIN SUCK. They only carry super sugary crap, or plain water, and they are always expensive and difficult to find.