Lucifer 3x23 - Meta B: This Kiss
“Many believe we have reached a resolution in 3x23 where Deckerstar is concerned but the truth is that we are only now starting to get into the deep waters, whatever that means… Wait, what?????
Chloe at the end of her case goes to the same piano Lucifer was playing at the beginning and hits the keys. Heart and Soul. An iconic moment and not just a reference to a beautiful scene in 1x09. In 1x09 Chloe leaves Dan and goes to Lucifer as she believes he needs a friend. The thing is that Chloe all along knew one thing. Lucifer needs a person in his life but he does not want one. She has understood the implications of that and yet she stayed firm next to him much like she did with Maze.
Lucifer, on the other hand, tells her that night that she doesn’t need him but she choose to be with him and that tells the same thing I wrote above.
Now, what I love most about this song is that I always believed that it’s very easy to persuade and manipulate a heart but you cannot nudge a soul towards a direction you want it to go. Souls are solid and impenetrable and yet vulnerable when they actually open up and our leads’ souls are set on each other since the very beginning so we were waiting until their hearts were in the same place.
As I’ve said in Meta A, Chloe benefited from Lucifer’s let’s go back to normal shenanigans as she had the time to review the past two years and what they meant to her. Hence the piano playing in a time she believes he is not there. That alone is important as she unknowingly exposes herself to him.
In this part, we get the infamous lines… You choose me. You did choose me but why they were so important to Lucifer? Because no one had ever chosen him before. Willingly with no stakes, deals or expecting anything in return. He was bothersome, downright an inconvenient feature in her life and Chloe choose him. She did what not even God himself did according to Lucifers beliefs. Not his siblings, not Amenadiel without expecting his wings to return no one had EVER simply chosen him.
It was not a matter of male pride as Chloe and we as the audience had assumed in 3x21 It was the desperation of a boy who was left behind again. Unloved, uncared for with only an obligation to give and be punished at the whim of every human, celestial or divine power because once upon a time he rebelled for what he believed and was who he was created to be…
As they say, if you want to see the most flawed system see democracy… All is perfect until you put it into practice or add the human factor. That alone tends to mess things up.
I believe that in this scene Chloe understands Lucifer’s motives in the last episode (3x21) as well and when he goes over the fact that he was afraid we get back to 3x20 & 3x21… About Fear and what that makes you do. That is why Chloe knows who he is. Because he sees the boy, the teen and the man in front of her with one common thing. Fear blended with love, vulnerability and ready to rise or fall on her command.
Chloe at this moment knows she has the power to destroy him and having Trixie means she knows how complicated a child’s reasoning can be… Absurd yet deeply mature and logical. And so the shake of her head says it all. She will not do that. She understands as Lucifer gives her an answer she asked in 3x21 but got the truth through an indirect answer by him. Fear.
Another interesting point is that Lucifer is no longer afraid of showing the Devil face to her, but we know that since 3x01. It’s that he realises that his Devil Face is not his identity but his identity as the Fallen is a past he cannot and does not want to erase. It’s him and he tries to be open but if she knew then Lucifer is convinced that Chloe would run away.
Therefore, Lucifer feels so free on telling her, safe in his conviction that she will never believe him and yet at the end of 3x23 he tries once again. Not to show her but to be completely frank.
I’m a very bad guy, I have done unspeakable things which you can only suspect and so yes I am a monster not just in appearance, which I can’t show you but everything else I have done and they will always be a part of me but I’m not sure they are me. So I’m not sure whatI’m giving you here but here you go either way.
You see when Linda found out about the truth her first questions were about Heaven and Hell but also what constitutes a sin and how you get to Hell in a way. She realised the gravity of actions and that in this world there was a God and so there was good and evil.
Lucifer has shouted over and over again that he is not evil but when you get back home from work and there is grim under your fingernails you wonder how much of your self-image is true and whether you can indeed be something else aside from what the world sees you as.
Let’s go back to 3x11, Lucifer never gave up until 3x11. He accepted the view humanity had about him only after that episode. Until then Lucifer still had faith. Isn’t that tragic? Perhaps that is why he met Chloe but the thing is that he never had accepted he might have been evil until Amenadiel came and told him that.
Then 6 years later, Chloe comes and he has lost himself in meanings and definitions. all imposed on him. He has moments of clarity like in 1x12 and 3x07 but the thing is for how long you can go on until you believe the majority and you stand alone? Heaven, Humanity on Earth and even Maze have this idea of him and yet Lucifer is something different which apparently only Chloe can see and of course Linda but mainly because he exposes himself to her willingly.
Lucifer: Detective, it’s true.
Chloe: No.
Lucifer: The other side of me is it’s bad. It’s monstrous, even. But you wanted the truth, and you deserve the truth. Right now, I can’t show it to you, so I’m just gonna have to tell you.
So who is that other side of him? I doubt he talks about his face. Lucifer talks about the life that according to him Chloe refuses to not just believe but also acknowledge even by human standards. Basically, we get back to the same problem. Lucifer sees himself as a dichotomy. A) The Devil as a job and The Devil as the carrier and executioner of all evil. And then B) the abused Samael who had to survive so he carried on the best he could and that demanded some sacrifices from himself not just as an Angel but as an entity.
It is perhaps why he refuses to acknowledge that Samael exists anymore. Aside from a comment I had made months ago that he sees Samael as the child his Father murdered, Samael is also the identity he had to butcher piece and piece off his flesh -literally in 3x11- in order for whatever he had left to survive.
Unfortunately what Lucifer believes he has left, is the monstrous side that every soul carries. The darkness we all have inside but he does not know anymore how to label it as. He still believes there must have been something good left in him that deserves and can be loved but at the same time, he is afraid that whatever he has shown to Chloe is but an elaborate game of a fake identity much like Marcus did in S3. Meaning that once she knows that the fake identity is not real, Chloe will run away. That is why Lucifer in 2x12 questions reality and is so quick to reject it in 2x13 and 2x14 as well in 3x21.
You want the truth and you deserve the truth but right now I cannot show it to you.
Are carrying a desperation because he wants to be truthful but has no idea how and the wings do not show the reality he had to face for billions of years but an unadulterated image of what he once was. Pure. Good. A child that deserved his Father’s love. You see the fact that in S2 Amenadiel was promoted to be the favourite has affected Lucifer more than we will ever know. More than we will ever know in S3 at least.
There have been many metas on why Lucifer told her he is the Devil and I have an opinion on that… Why didn’t he say I love you? Well, the key I believe is in his expression when he tells him he is not and looks so forlorn.
You see at that moment he tells her I’m the Devil he basically admits that there is a part of him that can love - A LOT - but that love is covered by something filthy which he expects her to see.
He gives her a chance to run because he opens up the can and say; Do you see this? This is what I am and there is something good in there but I cannot ask you to dig and get it out. But this also gives it a lot of worth as well because being the Devil and caring is like asking for the moon to shine as bright as the sun and for some weird reason I’m doing just that for you but can you handle it? Can you handle this uncommon brightness of the moon knowing it will never be a star?
So does he say that he loves her? For the second time as far as I remember since 1x01 he calls her Chloe in front of her and that speaks volumes. So Chloe knowing him she can see between the lines and take what was left unspoken. She knows him and demanding more than what he can give now, 3x21 aside, can wait. He has gone further that he has ever gone before and that is all she cares about.
Problem is that Lucifer when Chloe tells him that, “No you are not” is broken as he once again believes she is not believing him but then another realisation hits with her next words. “Not to me.”
Lucifer believes that Chloe knows him even if she refuses to believe him that he is indeed the Devil so he is grasping the last threads of that when reality hits her those words will be the same. We will have of course to wait until hopefully 3x24 for that but I do believe it’s coming.
And finally the kiss… You see sometimes the backstory has a lot to tell for that one moment which lasts around 10 seconds…
In 3x23 Lucifer is the one who leans and initiates their kiss, not Chloe. Chloe did that in 2x11. For the first time, Chloe has a proof that Lucifer actually wants an intimate relationship with her and not the sexual one he tried in S1. Also, the fact that he never ever attempted to bed her in the last three seasons means that she trusts him more than she ever trusted Marcus.
Moreover, Chloe now knows the big secret. Lucifer Morningstar is afraid and has abandonment issues, not commitment issues. He is afraid that she will leave him, that she will not want to stay with him like his family and everyone he has met so far has done. They have failed him and Lucifer has not failed anyone because for the major part of his life he has been used and discarded even by his bedmates.
So his admission says, I want to be sure you will stay because as you have seen I have been around. And if we want to get further, Chloe in a way tested him as well. She chooses him to be with her as her work partner but also gave him a lot of ways out over and over again but he stubbornly stayed. He may not be reliable on many things and not always around but at the end of the day like in 3x23 he is there, waiting for her.
What I do love as well is that she tries to deepen the kiss after she received it as a chaste one and he loses his balance. I admire Ellis for his acting there. Because he knows that his character is totally dependable on Chloe but not on the matter of needs. He is now gravitating around her and it will be Chloe to call the shots whatever they may be while he will stoically wait and accept them whenever they may come.
In brief? Chloe has now total control over the Deckerstar relationship. The kisses, the sex, the partnership and how they will move on after 3x24 if a double reveal (wings & Devil dace) comes.
And on a final note, Lucifer now stops trying to protect her from him and as we see at the end of the episode, he tries to at least support and protect her emotionally, which is what he has been doing tactfully for a long time. In 3x24, for the first time since 1x01, he will actively shield her and that alone will change everything.
So rejoice dear Lucifans but remember that realisations always come with a price… Sometimes a heav-enl-y one.
So that’s it I guess. If I fail in two weeks you will know why…..
Now please do allow me some time off and wait for the Spoilers and Speculation post on Saturday. Please!
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