aristoc-rat's main blog

main blog any Pronouns, gender is a business practice I do not buy into

[felixblindluck]

More stupid shit at 3am

[hydrohobbyist]

Caught one of my favorite wet beasts. The long nose gar.

[a-book-of-creatures]

Why are you holding it like a weapon? It’s a gar, not a pike

[aristoc-rat]

En *gar*de

[aristoc-rat]

You may not like it, but this is what peak physical condition looks like.

The impressive feat of engineering that is homo synthus, able to squat in place as if sitting effortlessly.

Puny human flesh bags can never compare to the strength of our future synthetic overlords.

[the-starlight-papers]

My coworkers are insisting that rhubarb “is just red celery” and that rhubarb pie “looks like raw meat”

So anyways I am going to be making a rhubarb pie and bringing it in.

[omni-scient-pan-da]

I am just now seeing this post on Saturday, June 1st, despite the fact that it was made on Thursday, May 30th HOWEVER

On Thursday, May 30th, I went to sleep, and woke up Friday morning, on the 31st, having had a very odd and spooky dream, about being driven down a dark, haunted hallways and almost going through a portal to another dimension, but turned around at the last second

In this dream, I came out of the building containing the spooky hallway with a rhubarb pie, and was very enthusiastically declaring I couldn't wait to eat the rhubarb pie

This is around the time I started to wake up from the dream because I, in real life, have never once consumed a rhubarb pie, I don't even think I know what rhubarb looks like in real life and as I said out loud to my mother when recounting this dream on Friday, May 31st, rhubarb pie sounds like it would taste like a pie made out of celery

However in the dream, despite knowing that I have never once tasted rhubarb pie and have never had the desire to, I could not stop myself from very loudly and repeatedly talking about how I couldn't wait to eat the pie, and woke up shortly after the rhubarb pie was destroyed by a gang of bullies in the parking lot

This leaves me with four conclusions

I woke up in the middle of the night after being freaked out by the hallway on Thursday night, grabbed my phone to scroll through Tumblr, saw this post while scrolling but did not interact with it, and fell back asleep before the memory of doing any of this could be stored in my brain (according to my AP Psychology textbook, you don't remember the last 15 minutes before you fall asleep, so it seems decently likely that this could have happened if I was able to do all this in 15 minutes) and my brain just blended the rhubarb pie into the dream as though I had never woken up in the middle

This post was at the top of my dash at some point between it being made and me going to bed on Thursday night, and though I did not consciously see it, my subconscious picked up on it, and this influenced both my dream and my words on the subject the next day

This is all completely coincidental and it's just really freaky that Evan posted this on Thursday and then I had a dream involving rhubarb pie that same night

Evan and I are psychically linked and rhubarb pie is the secret to the universe

My bet is on the fourth option personally, but I dunno, let me know what you think

[omni-scient-pan-da]

Despite how much it reads as a classic Tumblr post, I really doubt it will break containment but y'know what, if it gets over 50k notes I'll make a rhubarb pie myself and give a live reaction

[mikkeneko]

In your dream you had to navigate a spooky hallway in a haunted building and then were assaulted by bullies in the parking lot? That sounds awful. You know what might help you recover from that experience? A fresh, hot slice of rhubarb pie! Yes, nothing gets the taste of shame and humiliation out of your mouth quite like Bebop-A-Reebop Rhubarb Pie. One little thing can revive a guy, and that is a piece of rhubarb pie! Serve it up, nice and hot; maybe things aren't as bad as you thought.

[thepioden]

Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb, Bebop-A-Reebop Rhubarb Pie!

[aristoc-rat]

Barbara's rhubarb pie is the best 👌

[cosmonautroger]

[aristoc-rat]

Computer technicians at work: Do not Disturb them!!

[orcposts]

rpg stands for Rock Paper sGissors

[orcposts]

Rock

Paper

game

[orcboxer]

real purple grapes real pretty girls rare pepe gif red pblue green rice pilaf gourmet risk play game right pleft gleft ready pset go rope pull game reckon people gulp? ringing phone guy raw peeled gopher rich pastries galore

[orcboxer]

remove pussy glitch

[orcposts]

remove pussy glitch

[aristoc-rat]

Retry penis explosion

[duncebento]

[calpalsworld]

[aristoc-rat]

This reminds me of the evil alien porridge dream

[transhuman-priestess]

Assuming it were reasonably possible and accepted to acquire cybernetic body parts that functioned as well or better than biological ones, which part would you replace FIRST?

Hand/arm

Leg/foot

Eyes

Ears

Internal organs

Genitals

Skin

Full conversion (GITS style full body w/organic brain)

Something else (list in tags)

Nothing, I like my meat

Voting ended onDec 31, 2023

[aristoc-rat]

Watched the Juror movie from 1996 and it is really good. Demi Moore's performance was amazing! And I loved all the symbolism in the hair and costumes. Also learning that demi moore has been in a lot of movies, including the hunchback of notre dame?!

Definitely recommend watching, keep in mind that it shows a great deal of violence, abuse etc.

[sufjanswidow]

it feels like there are no websites anymore. there used to be so many websites you could go on. where did all the websites go

[antimony-ore]

[aristoc-rat]

And where are all the mods? Where's the tech-wise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Isn't there a tech-bro coding a website? Late at night, I search and I scroll and I dream of what I need....

I need a tech bro! I'm holding out for a tech-bro till the end of the night! He's gotta be smart and he's gotta be wise and he's gotta be fresh from the site.

I need a tech bro!

[girl-of-ink]

Best Soda?

Coca-Cola

Pepsi

Dr. Pepper

Mountain Dew

Sprite

Root beer (Specify brand in tags)

7-Up

Ginger Ale (Specify brand in tags)

Orange Soda (Specify brand in tags)

Something else? (Specify in tags)

Voting ended onNov 22, 2023

[aristoc-rat]

Sitting down and something in my lower back decides to nuclear bomb itself right before I have work because my body is revolting against me.

:(

[miiilowo]

love when cats get all twitchy in their sleep. little baby is dreaming about god knows what

[aristoc-rat]

Murder

[taviokapudding]

Simon Petrikov has always been a GILF and before the crown took over his mind, I think we can all agree long white haired - not ice king yet Simon was kinda hot before the madness set in

Now that I have your attention - hear me out AT fandom- what if Ice Prince in Fionna’s dreams is what Simon/Ice King thought he was throughout the original Adventure Time series?

I always thought Ice King having extremely high self confidence was just a gag or joke before we learned about who Simon was- but there’s tons of instances where he declares he’s hot & doesn’t mind showing off his body in the original. And with the canon 12 yr time skip, we know now everything about Fionna & Cake’s AU and Ice King’s actions to form the AU was based off the madness of the crown playing into Simon’s wish fulfillment, trauma, & life; but also a form of escapism from his reality as a lonely man in a world he cannot relate too.

In the original & first appearance of the AU Ice Queen is H O T {and I’m not just saying that as a pansexual} she is leagues more attractive than how Ice King was and I would argue looks more like what I think Betty would look like if she wore the crown. She’s wish fulfillment but being heavily crown coded explains why she’s no longer Simon’s mind/Fionna’s dreams.

But Ice Prince? That is way more Simon coded than crown & also doesn’t match any of the male background characters we do see in episode 1. What if that’s not just Simon wishing he could be more like Ice King but instead what he actually thought he looked like the whole time the crown controlled him for all those centuries? That would explain why Ice King was so shameless but also partially explain why Simon mentions in ep 2 of Fionna and Cake that he both misses but hates what Ice King looked like.

Yes it’s a Tuxedo Mask reference & an obvious sign Simon still has some magic powers, but you cannot deny that if Simon wanted to dress as Ice King he’d probably go a more Ice Prince style to line up with how he currently dresses. If the AU remained the AU that was all originally knew, Ice Queen would’ve been some evil Sailor Scout or Queen Beryl coded character to Fionna Campbell; Ice Prince wouldn’t be a thing if it was just an alternate universe. And that tall glass of frosty water is definitely what Simon wished he looked like {honestly me too, Ice Prince is so gender}

EDIT: Btw in ep 2 of Fionna and Cake, Ice Queen is seen as the icecream vendor and she looks nothing like Simon but way more like a cross between the Gunther penguins and crown. And yes I know Fionna “dates” Ice King in the original au - my point still stands that it’s still what Simon wanted/thought he looked like with the crown on. Fionna Campbell would be into a very blue robes & wacky eyebrows Ice Prince and Ice Queen wouldn’t be just an icecream vendor who’s nice to kids if the crown had influence still

[aristoc-rat]

Something interesting is that in the second season of adventure time in the episode "Loyalty to the King"

When Ice King shaves his beard all the princess are all over him-whether this is due to them wanting to get married is implied to be the reason but also they seem very attracted to him. Is Simon Petrikof secretly really attractive?

(According to Betty and lots of the fandom, Yes.)

[aristoc-rat]

Just watched Netflix's Monkey King, the animation was gorgeous and the plot was lovely!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Finished a book last night and I WANT MORE BOOK but there ISN'T MORE.

[creativitycache]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Hey so a fun thing about that plan right at this specific moment,

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#derin I think ap3 being down is a sign I should read your story#it's fucking 3am again

Do it, time is an illusion

[theimaginatrix27]

It's me, boy, the AI,

Speaking to you inside your brain.

Listen to me, boy,

Leave this world, you don't need it!

Come with me and read my story!

We'll have fun science times in space!

Beep-boop-boop-boop, yeah!

Keep reading, boy, time is an illusion!

[aristoc-rat]

Had been delaying reading Derin's stories bc of ao3, started reading today I'm now up to chapter 44 of the space one! Very very good, tickles my brain in wonderful ways.

[nestgoblin]

i made a uquiz to find out what kind of gf you are

[atomiconyx-deactivated20230903]

[crazysnor1ax]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[aristoc-rat]

Fuck yeah!