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Sorting Hat Chats: Gladiator

I. Freaking. Love. This. Movie. Is it historically accurate? Not especially. Is the story fairly simple? Yes, but there's a difference between a SIMPLE story and a SIMPLISTIC one. The performances are top notch, the music, the costumes... *chef's kiss.*

So, without further ado...

Maximus is a Badger primary. He recognizes the humanity in the Germanic tribes-- "would you (know you're beaten), Quintus? Would I?" He's a great general, but his heart is at home with his family. After the first battle, he spends time among the wounded and is upset when it is suggested that they "died for nothing." He's deeply loyal to the memory Marcus Aurelius. Wherever Maximus goes, he collects people (Juba, Proximo, the German, Lucius) by being kind when he doesn't necessarily need to be. He inspires loyalty and goodness in others just by being who he is.

In true protagonist style, Maximus is a Lion secondary. There's no pretending with him-- if Maximus feels something is wrong, he won't do it. "With all my heart, no," he says to Marcus Aurelius when he initially refusing to become protector of Rome-- it's a gut reaction. He will not salute Commodus; he turns his back on him. Though he shows some Bird-like strategizing in battle, to me, it reads as an intuitive grasp of going on-- the art of reacting to things rather than planning for them. Even his habit of feeling the earth before going into battle screams Lion: it's a tactile, grounding, in-the-moment exercise.

Lucilla is a Snake primary. She cares about Rome, she cares about her father's memory, she cares about Maximus-- but at the end of the day, she will prioritize her son's safety ahead of everyone and everything else. (Side note: I think that Ridley Scott writes Snake women a lot-- Lucilla and Sybilla from Kingdom of Heaven are pretty much the same character). There's room to argue for more depth here, but I feel that her primary is pretty straightforward.

I read Lucilla as a Bird secondary. She's strategic where Maximus is not. She makes practical decisions, lays plans, and collects information behind the scenes. She also seems to use a bit of a Snake secondary model-- or maybe it's her Bird secondary in an "Actor Bird" form. She knows how to play Commodus, and tries something similar with Maximus-- a little flirty, a little coy-- and drops it the minute she sees it's not working with him.

Commodus is also a Snake primary, but an Exploded one. His whole worldview and perception of himself is wrapped up in a handful of people. He's desperate for his father's approval, even after he kills him (there's a scene in the director's cut with Commodus destroying a bust of Marcus Aurelius, then hugging/clinging to the ruins). All Commodus wants to be loved by his father, his sister, and the people of Rome. With the latter, he compares himself to a father and the people to children. He wants to give them the love he feels he was denied. But his idea of love is destructive to his wellbeing and the wellbeing of those around him. In the end, it gets him killed in the arena-- defeated by his own need for the crowd's approval.

Commodus is a Lion secondary with absolutely no impulse control. His father rejects him? Kill him. Maximus defies him? Try to kill him. His one strategic success comes when he accepts the counsel of a senator to "let (his enemies) come... and nibble." Challenging Maximus-- a GENERAL with YEARS OF EXPERIENCE-- to fight him in the arena is a terrible idea, but Commodus does it anyway.

Marcus Aurelius doesn't get as much screen time as I wish he did (RIP, Richard Harris). He's our lone Bird primary. He's THE Philosopher. He has carefully constructed his worldview, weighed his options, and decided on a course of action. He believes that Commodus is "not a moral man" because he lacks the virtues that Marcus Aurelius values: wisdom, justice, fortitude, and temperance. His choice to make Maximus the protector of Rome is careful and deliberate-- he's observed Maximus in many situations and knows that he does not desire power. That's why it must be Maximus. It's perfectly logical to him, and he believes that he can explain it to any reasonable person (unfortunately, Commodus is far from reasonable). Marcus Aurelius forever puts first the idea of Rome: it is his bright, shining TRUTH.

He's also a Bird secondary: the man writes like nobody's business. He's a deep thinker, a strategist, a collector of maps and other odds and ends to put in his toolkit.

I read Proximo as a Glory Hound Lion. He was once a gladiator himself, and you can feel it in his speeches about the crowd: even though he knows that fame is a fickle mistress, he loves the adulation, the money, being a star. He misses it. He believes that he and his men belong in the Colosseum. Before they go in to fight, he fills them up with his vision of glory.

I think that he's a Snake secondary. He can be charming, he can be adaptable. He plays people off each other to get the best price. He was "the best" in the arena because he "won the crowd." But he knows how and when to cut his loses and go blunt. He describes himself as "an entertainer."

Bonus! I see Juba as a Double Badger. He tends to Maximus's wound even before they become friends. He relies on memories of his people and traditions when things are at their bleakest. He offers encouragement in his own quiet, wise way. Some of the best lines in the movie are his, IMO: "I will see you again. But not yet. Not yet," and "you have a great name. He must kill your name before he kills you."

TL;DR:

Maximus: Badger Primary, Lion Secondary ("The Protagonist")

Lucilla: Snake Primary, Bird Secondary, possible Snake secondary model ("The Villain/the Mastermind")

Commodus: Snake Primary, Lion Secondary ("The Lancelot")

Marcus Aurelius: Bird Primary, Bird Secondary ("The Scientist")

Proximo: Lion Primary, Snake Secondary ("The Robin Hood")

Juba: Badger Primary, Badger Secondary ("The Peacemaker")

(archetype titles ala @wisteria-lodge:))

#sorting hat chats #gladiator movie #maximus #gladiator 2000 #maximus decimus meridius #badger primary #lion secondary #snake primary #bird secondary #bird primary #lion primary #badger secondary

Sorting Hat Chats: Jumanji (2017)

I still remember the first time I saw this movie-- I went in with super low expectations and LOVED it. It's regularly quoted in my household. "Oh, you have allergies, Spencer? I'm missing the top two feet of my body!" So, without further ado...

Spencer is a Badger primary. He was devastated when his childhood best friend, Fridge, backed away from him in search of a cooler crowd. But he doesn't let that stop him from doing Fridge's homework in hopes that he'll win a place in his life again. He's an affable, sweet young man, who notices people who typically fly under the radar-- like Martha. In Jumanji, his primary concern is keeping the group together and alive. He's non-confrontational (until he has to be) and tries to find ways to break bad news gently ("that's not how I would have put it..." he says after Fridge drops the bomb on Alex). He builds people up by talking about their strengths. He has a very clear Bird secondary-- he's the guy who plays video games. "That's literally the main thing that I do." He strategizes rather than charges and sees his physical strength as Dr. Bravestone as a skill, narrating the steps to himself ("uppercut!").

Fridge starts off as a self-centered Snake primary. He traded Spencer in for a cooler crowd to boost his own social status and is primarily concerned with his own football career-- not the impact that cheating will have on his or Spencer's lives. It's not until he gets to Jumanji that he starts to look outside himself. He seems to take special care of Bethany-- urging her to get up when she's fallen down, trusting her when she tells him the cake is bread (oops...), etc. It takes him and Spencer some time to work out their grievances, but once he's in, he's in, and Fridge helps to build up his courage in a moment when he needs in the most. Fridge is definitely a Lion secondary, he's the guy who's always shouting and making his displeasure known, who picks fights with Spencer, but who also charges in to save the day ("Zoology, bit***!")

Bethany begins the film as a myopic Badger primary, whose definition of "people" is pretty limited. She has the best growth arc of the movie, IMO. She cares a lot about what other people think of her, works hard to look perfect and appeal to her boyfriend, and tries to charm her teacher to get out of detention. She shares parts of her life with Martha and is offended when Martha acts "judgy," but accepts her influence and grows. In a conversation with Alex, she says something to the effect of, "sometimes, you get so caught up in your own stuff that you forget other people have stuff too..." She also gives up one of her lives for Alex, so he can get home too! She tells him, "you're our missing piece--" bringing him into the group. In the second movie, she's been off on a humanitarian trip, is so excited to get the group back together, and starts a cheerleader-style chant before wading into battle. The flirting lessons for Martha?? Badger, badger, badger. Her strength is in connecting with and encouraging others-- a Badger secondary.

Martha is kind of hard to read, but I see her as a Bird primary. She's a little black-and-white in how she views the world-- "gym class is not going to get me into Princeton!"-- and has ambitious goals that are largely focused on external things. She sees Bethany as fitting into the "hot, popular girl" mold and it takes her some time to see past that to the real person. She, like Spencer, is a Bird secondary. She's very systematic in how she approaches things, takes the skills that her character (Ruby Roundhouse) has very literally, and applies what she's learned to other people and situations ("Alex, if I can fight those guys, you can fly that helicopter!").

Bonus! Alex is a Snake primary, Bird secondary. He thinks a lot about his parents and says that he's a drummer, "just like my dad." Though he likes the rest of the group, he has a special bond with Bethany. He offers his life for hers, and when that doesn't work, he charges at the big bad guy to rescue her. When he sees them all again after getting out of Jumanji, Bethany is the first one he recognizes (he still calls Martha "Ruby Roundhouse"-- did he forget her name, or was he teasing? IDK). He names a daughter after Bethany, the girl who saved his life. His Bird secondary has burned after being trapped in the game for so long, he doesn't trust himself and his skills anymore and has been living in limbo.

TL;DR:

Spencer: Badger Primary, Bird Secondary

Fridge: Snake Primary, Lion Secondary

Bethany: Badger Primary, Badger Secondary

Martha: Bird Primary, Bird Secondary

Alex: Snake Primary, Bird Secondary

#jumanji #jumanji welcome to the jungle #sorting hat chats #badger primary #bird secondary #snake primary #lion secondary #double badger #badger secondary #bird primary #double bird

Sorting Hat Chats: Zootopia

(Have I talked about how much I love this movie? Because I love this movie.)

Judy Hopps might be the Lion-i-est Lion primary to ever Lion. Seriously. From the time she's a little girl, she has this internal conviction that she needs to "make the world a better place." She loves her family in Bunnyburrow, but is perfectly fine with heading out on her own, moving to the big city to fulfill her dreams. Her passion, her drive, is internal and idealistic. She believes so much in the idea of Zootopia. It guides her decisions, the advice she gives, and the way she treats other people. When she acts out of line with her values-- her careless comments about predators are used as justification for mistreating them by the media and by Bellweather-- it eats her up inside. She resigns from the police department and moves home, but is despondent. She's on the verge of burning until her conversation with her parents and Gideon Gray, which proves to her that 1. her idealism made a change in their lives and 2. the fight isn't over! Her Lion spark is reignited, and she speeds off to Zootopia to make things right. She ends the story a more mature Lion: recognizing that "life is more complicated than a slogan on a bumper sticker," but still working to make that dream of Zootopia true.

I think she's a Badger Secondary. Yes, she can be a shouty and charge-y like a Lion, but I think that her real strength is connecting with the people around her. Like Captain America, she creates assets. She uses Nick's street smarts and leverages her connection with Bellweather to access the Jam Cams at City Hall. She and Nick are saved from being iced by the mobster because of the warmth and kindness with which she treats his daughter. She also showcases the Bookkeeper aspect of this secondary through her nose-to-the-grindstone, "I'm not going to write 100 tickets, I'm going to write 200 tickets before noon!" approach to becoming a cop.

Nick Wilde starts the story a burned Badger primary. The childhood trauma that forged him was being rejected by a group. All he wanted was to join the Junior Ranger Scouts: he was excited to put on a uniform and be part of their community. When he's bullied for being a predator, he burns. He looks sort of like a Snake when Judy first meets him-- kinda hedonistic, only looking out for himself-- but as the story progresses, his true Badger self starts to shine through. He knows everyone: Otterton the florist, the mob boss, Flash the sloth... He stands up for Judy to Boggo. He's a mix of trepidatious and excited when Judy suggests that he join the police force. He refuses to abandon her when she's injured, insisting that they come up with another plan. And in the end, he joins the force! He's finally part of a community.

I'm going use Occam's Razor here and say that he's a Snake secondary. One could argue that he's just modeling Snake because that's what's expected of foxes, but I don't see enough evidence of another secondary, so I'm going for the simplest explanation for now. Nick is good at improvising. He's great at taking information and using the environment around him to shape the outcome he wants. When he first meets Judy, he plays her like a violin. "It's called a hustle, sweetheart." He sells skunk-butt rugs to the mobster. His whole popsicle scam?? Snake, snake, snake. He can talk his way out of pretty much any corner. He can go neutral-state blunt on people, but most of the time, he's charming as hell. Judy teasingly calls him "slick Nick."

TL;DR

Judy Is a shining Lion who grows into a more mature version of her primary by the end, with a Badger secondary that uses hard work and the people around her to accomplish her mission.

Nick starts out a burned Badger primary who eventually finds a home with Judy and the police department. His Snake secondary might just be him playing to what people already think foxes are-- I'd love to hear arguments for another secondary!-- but he seems to use these tools naturally.

#sorting hat chats #shc #lion primary #badger secondary #burned badger primary #snake secondary #zootopia #judy hopps #nick wilde

Sorting Hat Chats: Heroes of Olympus

I did not write this, this is an original from @sortinghatchats. I found it on the wayback machine like two years ago and have had it saved in my notes. So this is my contribution to y'all's recovery efforts! Not sure whether to give credit to Inky or Kaden, let me know :)

OK, so I sometimes give speeches on long road trips about the Slytherinness of Percy Jackson. THAT KID. His fatal flaw is canonically that, forced to choose between the world and his friends, he would choose his friends. Slytherin Primary, all the way. Kid’s almost running around waving a banner with his hair dyed silver and green.

He’s also a Slytherin Secondary. Yeah, I know, the kid’s loud and coarse and a bit of a bro (he is. I love him, but he is). But Percy thinks rapidly on his feet, adapts to dangers by snapping up whatever weapon (physical, godly, mental, emotional) is nearest at hand, and is shamelessly, easily comfortable with using others for his own gain.

When the chips are down, the only thing he cares about are his inner circle: Annabeth, his mom, and sometimes Grover and Tyson. He’s content to use and sometimes destroy useful bystanders like Nico and “Bob,” to keep his people safe. He may like Nico and Bob, even empathize if someone like Annabeth isn’t in immediate danger, but at the end of the day he would (and does) trade their happinesses and safety for their utility.

But Percy doesn’t look like a traditional Slytherin/Slytherin. The boy is not smooth. The kid is not slipping around corners and cleverly avoid ruffling feathers while he steals his victories out from other peoples’ pockets. Percy lives almost always in his neutral state— this is something we talk about more deeply in our Slytherin Secondary post. But the neutral state is when a Slytherin isn’t using the code-switching and ease that is inherent to this secondary. Most Slytherin Secondaries only do this at home, when they are safe, relaxed, and in the company of only their most trusted people. It is literally dropping your guard. And Percy leaves his emotional guard hanging pretty much all the time; he’s bluntly and rather uncouthly on his sleeve. But the moment physical danger sets in, he goes full torpedoes ahead with a guile that is rough-edged but certainly present.

I’ll sort the rest of the Seven, Nico, and Reyna under the cut, hopefully with a little less verbiage. Slight spoilers forBlood of Olympus, but I did try to be a vague as possible.

Annabeth, my brash, bright, idealist darling, whose greatest desire is to rebuild a broken world anew, and whose fatal flaw is hubris and pride, is a Ravenclaw Primary. She is right, certain, and willing to sacrifice herself for the things she values. Clever, studious, prepared, she’s also a Ravenclaw Secondary.

Piper literally has the Slytherin Secondary as a superpower. Now, her charmspeak wouldn’t actually have any effect on her actual Secondary (your skills don’t matter as much as the methods you want, or respect in tactics). But Piper uses her charmspeak like her lungs by the end of the series, and even in flashbacks we find her conning people into giving her cars.

She House shares with Percy, actually: Slytherin/Slytherin, though she has a Hufflepuff Performance where Percy just… doesn’t… bother. Piper’s Slytherin Primary is most apparent in her dedication to her friends, and her decision over the course of The Lost Hero to sacrifice even them to save her father (a decision I’m not sure she’d make by the end of the series, when she’d bonded further to them).

Jason is a Hufflepuff Primary raised in a world of Gryffindors—so, yeah, the kid looks really Gryffindor. But he learns to shuffle off the righteousness and rigidity of Roman life, and to embrace his own quieter service, empathy, and thoughtfulness for not only his crew, friends, and two camps, but also each of the forgotten gods. He’s at his most comfortable with a community to call his own that doesn’t demand his Heroism, and cause to dedicate his life to that involves serving and supporting people, not fighting for or leading them.

His Secondary is Gryffindor—he earnestly and honestly charges his problems (his straight forward attempts to reassure Nico during the Cupid thing; the honesty and integrity Piper appreciates in him). Because his internal drive and motivations aren’t Gryffindor, he doesn’t look that obvious— his goals are often things like keeping the peace aboard ship, making sure everyone else has the things they need, and getting knocked out during fights.

Leo reads a bit like a Slytherin, but i think he’s just a burned Puff Primary. Clearly a loyalist House, he’s guarded and sarcastic, bitter and a bit jaded, and doesn’t throw himself out with sacrifice and service the way Puffs like Jason might. He builds little communities, and big dragons. But while he likes Piper and Jason, or Hazel, his bonds aren’t anywhere near the intensity of true Slytherin Primaries like Piper or Percy. This suggests what he actually is is a burned Puff, a Hufflepuff Primary who’s been hurt enough that they keep their warmth close. When Leo does make decisions around people, it tends to be need-based rather than value-based— he’ll give up some of the people he loves because someone else who he loves, someone lonely and left *cough*, needs him more.

Ravenclaw Secondary for the kid, of course. Leo Valdez, my tiny engineer friend, you tinker on.

Hazel’s got a lot of layered-on traumas, losses, guilts, and misplacements that make her a little hard to sort*— her curse, her first death and her almost bringing Gaea’s apocalypse about early, her rebirth in a century not her own. But as she becomes more comfortable and confident throughout the second series, she begins to fall into a validating system of action, justice, and bravery. Her morality seems to be felt, and she is most at home with her weapon in hand, on Arion’s back, charging a clear foe with a clear conscience—she read, to me, like a Gryffindor who has stubbornly pulled herself out of a “stripped” state, with the help of some big hearts like Frank and Jason.

(*Note: traumas do not make you less of your own House, or even less obvious of a House, exactly. What I mean here is that it’s harder to Sort someone burned as much as Hazel has been from the outside. Hazel’s got so much jammed inside of her, and even her POV is secretive enough in the first book, that she’s not obvious until she relaxes and confides in the reader a little more).

Frank, dear Frank, with his willingness to burn himself out (literally) on Alaska’s icy plain, is a warm and solid Gryffindor Primary. That wasn’t about who needed him or who he loved; it was about right and wrong, and he was going to do right or die trying. A kind and worried rule follower, he seems to have Hufflepuff Secondary he feels like he should suppress. The Roman Legion is very much a Gryffindor-present-or-go-home kind of space— both Frank and Jason put on Gryffindor Models to fit in and feel at home. But where Jason is secretly a warm ball of Hufflepuff Primary, Frank actually is a Gryffindor Primary. The problem is, he doesn’t think his Gryffindor, his honestly strong and staunch sense of right and noble sacrifice, is good enough. So he models a more “brave” Gryffindor on top. Frank’s ascension to praetor, as Jason gives it up, was a beautiful step in both their journeys.

Reyna’s Hufflepuff Secondary manifests itself in her dedication to doing things right, her (if stiff) kindness, her strength-sharing powers, and the care and emotion that earn her Pegasus’s honor. It’s her Gryffindor Primary, however, that earns her Athena’s respect—her refusal to stand down and her dedication.

Nico di Angelo is a stunning Hufflepuff Primary. He loses his time, his world, his sister, any sense of safety at the camps of in his “friends,” any sense of home but perhaps a squat beside the River Styx— and when the world needs him, Nico doesn’t even think twice before running himself ragged trying to shut the doors of Death and defy Gaea. He’s not even part of the prophecy. He’s not liked, respected, or even wanted by almost anyone. But he shows up. He does what he can. He disappears without any expectation of respect, gratitude, or care. Thank goodness for people like Hazel, Frank, Jason, and Will.

Nico’s not even quite a burned Puff. He doesn’t build himself a community (except for arguably Hazel), but he still takes it on himself to save and serve the world.

It’s his secondary, more than his primary I think, that takes the brunt of his losses. He might have been a very young Ravenclaw secondary (cards! stats!) in his first appearance, and no matter how “dark” demigod he might be, the boy’s no Slytherin Secondary, but what his secondary actually is is rather unclear. He’s been beaten, stripped, and disillusioned. No tools feel comfortable in his hands. He’ll do whatever he has to do get the job done, and he doesn’t like any of it. The blossoming way he responds to Reyna and Hedge’s companionship, mutual respect, and affection however suggests he might be growing into a Hufflepuff Secondary once he finds a place or hearts safe enough to lay down roots.

(I hope so. Kid needs a break).

tl;dr

Percy and Piper are both Slytherin/Slytherins– deeply, sometimes destructively loyal, and masters of thinking quick and sideways on their feet.

Annabeth is the sole Ravenclaw Primary. She shares a Ravenclaw Secondary with Leo, who’s a burned Puff.

Frank, Reyna and Hazel are all Gryffindor Primaries, with Jason the odd Hufflepuff out. Frank and Reyna have Puff secondaries they try to cover up with Gryffindor models (hello Rome), while Hazel and Jason both have Gryffindor’s charging Secondary. They’re both most at ease facing their problems head on and with honest integrity.

Nico is a Hufflepuff, burned in terms of letting himself have nice things, but not burned in terms of feeling like he needs to save the world, even if it keeps spitting on him.

arizonaraine

SHC: Kevin McCallister, Home Alone

So, I've not posted anything in years. But I am alive and well, thanks for asking :) Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! I recently rewatched Home Alone and have been thinking about my favorite blonde home security system's sorting. See TLDR below if you want a summary.

Kevin starts the movie as a very immature Snake primary. He wants what he wants-- a plain cheese pizza and a room to himself-- and doesn't seem overly concerned with the feelings of others. When he wakes up and discovers his entire family has disappeared, his first response is jubilation. I personally think that a Badger primary would have been pretty disturbed by this sudden lack of community, and a Bird would have questioned a bit more exactly what happened. Kevin, as a Snake primary, goes about living his best life. He jumps on the bed, raids his brother's room, eats a massive ice cream sundae, and watches the movie he was excluded from viewing.

The more time he spends alone, though, the more he realizes that he loves and misses his people. He sleeps with the family picture under his pillow. When making his request to Santa, he says, "I just want my family back. No toys, no presents, nothing but Peter, Kate, Buzz, Megan, Linnie, and Jeff. And my Aunt and my cousins. And, if he has time, my Uncle Frank." Frank, it seems, hasn't made it into Kevin's tiered Snake primary loyalty system.

Another hint at his primary is his conversation with Old Man Marley. He says, "I don't care how mad I was, I'd talk to my dad. Especially around the holidays." His dad is important than being right in whatever disagreement separated Marley and his son. I think a Lion wouldn't have that same sentiment, even if they missed their parent.

Lastly, after he runs home from that chat with Marley at the church, Kevin says, "This is my house. I have to defend it." What makes it worth defending is that it's his.

I think that Kevin has an impressive Bird secondary, though an argument could be made for Snake. The way I see it, Kevin is a planner. In his post-shower monologue, he lists all the things he's done til that point, and then discusses what he plans to do later in the day. He makes grocery lists and clips coupons. He draws up a master plan for the defense of his house, using tools that he's collected up to that point in the movie (micro machines, Christmas ornaments, etc.). He utilizes the mannequins in the basement for the fake Christmas party.

While he's pretty good at pivoting, it doesn't seem to be where he's at his best. At the grocery store, he manages to avoid the cashier's questions (Actor Bird?), but he doesn't appear to take any pleasure in being sly. He uses the movie the trick Marv, but it leads to further suspicion from Harry, which spells trouble for Kevin. When he's caught at the end, he doesn't try to run or talk his way out of it-- he's just stunned. His plan, which had been going so well, failed! Thankfully, his Snake primary saves the day. The connection he forged with Old Man Marley pays off. (The ending scene where he and Marley wave at each other always makes me cry.)

TL;DR

Kevin McCallister is a Snake primary who is alone in his inner circle in the beginning, but realizes how much his family means to him and brings them into his value system. His Snakey connection with Old Man Marley saves him in the end. His Bird secondary enjoys laying plans, clipping coupons, and making lists. He can pivot when he needs to, but that's not the first tool that falls to his hand.

(@wisteria-lodge what's your archetype name for the Snake Bird again? :))

wisteria-lodge

Hell yeah, that's my boy. He's a textbook Snake Bird, and a total Villain :))

I also think it's hilarious just how well the pet tarantula symbolizes Kevin's coming of age. Of course he goes from feeling helpless to meticulously creating a trap to catch his prey, but the spider also reflects the way he unBurns. He goes from not liking it, ignoring it, to actually using it to escape the Wet Bandits. He picks that spider right up and knows it's going to protect him, because it's his, and that's how Snakes feel about their People.

arizonaraine

Thank you!! Loved the analysis on the tarantula, I'd never thought of that :)

SHC: Kevin McCallister, Home Alone

Lastly, after he runs home from that chat with Marley at the church, Kevin says, "This is my house. I have to defend it." What makes it worth defending is that it's his.

TL;DR

(@wisteria-lodge what's your archetype name for the Snake Bird again? :))

#sorting hat chats #kevin mccallister #home alone #christmas movies #snake primary #bird secondary #merry christmas #happy holidays

X-Men Days of Future Past ala Sorting Hat Chats

This is my favorite X-Men movie! I’m focusing on the 70′s cast, but if you want me to sort the modern X-Men (Storm, Iceman, Kitty, etc.) let me know!

Erik: Double Lion. For a bit, I thought that he was a loyalist who only counted mutants as people. But it becomes apparent that he has no qualms about hurting the people closest to him for the sake of The Cause (TM). In First Class, he abandons Charles-- who has a BULLET IN HIS BACK. In Days of Future Past, his history with Raven doesn’t stop him from trying to kill her once he’s decided that it’s necessary for The Cause. For Erik, the ultimate good is the freedom/supremacy of mutants. He’s also a Lion secondary. His method of going things is to show up and use his powers to raise hell. He’s not a planner, he’s an improvisor. Not a Snake, though, he wants the world to recognize him (and all mutants) in their full glory.

Raven: Raven, unlike Erik, is a loyalist primary. One of her most telling moments in this film is when she tells Erik: “I’ve seen too many friends die... I don’t want a war. I only want the man who murdered them.” She clung to Erik and his cause for a while, but it becomes too much for her. I believe Raven is a Badger Primary, and I’ll cite another line from the movie for this. She tells Charles “I have compassion. Just not for Trask. He’s murdered too many of us.” That looks like some Badger-style dehumanization to me. There are also a few times in the movie where she has the opportunity to end lives, but she doesn’t. I think that’s a point for a Badger’s belief in the value of life. As for her secondary, Raven is a Lion. She had to build a Snake model to survive her early life, but I think that First Class breaks down that model for her. She bonds with Erik in First Class over that Lion Secondary. “Mutant and proud!” Once she’s embraced her power, she encourages Hank to be his true self too. She still uses the Snake model, literally changes faces, but she what she wants is to be accepted for who is really is.

Logan: Logan is another Lion secondary. He’s good at improvisation, and his gruff, upfront way of speaking and sarcastic sense of humor read as blunt Lion honesty to me. He method of doing things is to charge in and do what needs to be done-- seen when he says to rambling Charles: “I’m sorry, were you finished?” For his primary, I think Logan is a Badger. His community is the X-Men-- you see how he grows as a member of that community throughout the series. He also emphasizes that many humans tried to help save mutants from the Sentinels. This point reflects his belief in people.

Charles: Charles is the first person on this list who is not a Lion secondary. Charles is so bad at improvising. I mean... “We are... Special Operations... CB... FI...CD...” The dude struggles when things don’t go according to plan, that’s not his comfort zone. Charles’ skills are in community building. He built the school, created the X-Men, taught young mutants how to master their abilities, took in starving Raven as a child. He’s also a Badger primary, but at the beginning of Days of Future Past, he’s badly burned. He lost his community-- Erik, Raven, the X-Men, the students... and he’s lost hope as a result. If he were a Lion, he might cling to the cause-- teaching mutants to master their abilities-- even without the people. But Charles, without the community, suffers with their loss. He starts the process of unburning when Logan, a fellow Badger, and the future version of himself show him that he can have that community again. And then Charles settles down and does the work to bring back the school, gather the X-Men, and keep his promise to Logan. One of the most beautiful, Badger-y lines in the film is spoken by both past and future Charles: “Just because someone stumbles, loses their way, doesn’t mean they’re lost forever.”

Hank: I think Hank is a double Bird. He models Badger secondary when taking care of Charles, but that’s not the tool that first falls to his hand. Hank has an arsenal of skills. He’s the team science guy. He built the X-Men’s jet, created the formula for Charles’ spine, monitored the news feed, and he pulls up all the blueprint information for the Pentagon. When Cerebro isn’t an option, he’s the guy who pulls out the phonebook. He’s also a Bird primary. He cites theories about the nature of time-- the stone in the river, the current correcting itself. He’s taking in external data and using that to shape his understanding of the world, his morality.

Peter: Peter, Peter, Peter. I think that there’s some Snake in him. He has no problems with lying, stealing, or breaking a prisoner out of the Pentagon-- which might raise some moral quandaries with other people. I think he’s a Snake primary, and his inner circle likely includes himself, his mom, and his sister. In the next movie, after he’s found out that Erik is his father, he’s willing to fight the main villain for him (I’ve only seen Apocalypse once, so I could be wrong in on this point). think that Peter, like his father, is a Lion secondary. He is great at improvising, he thrives in that space. He loves being ahead of everyone. He’s not going to hide what he is, his powers, because they’re “nothing anyone would believe if you told them”. He could be a Snake that just chills out in neutral, but I don’t think that’s the case (also, I really really want him to houseshare with Wanda. I’m so excited to see what becomes of Peter/Pietro in WandaVision).

TL;DR

Erik- Double Lion

Raven- Badger Lion, models Snake secondary when she has to.

Logan- Badger Lion

Charles- Double Badger, burned, may model Snake

Hank- Double Bird

Peter- Snake Lion

Me too, Variety. Me too.

#wanda maximoff #vision #wandavision #pietro maximoff #peter maximoff #WHAT DOES IT MEAN #wandavision episode 6 spoilers

WandaVision-- Sorting Hat Chats Style *updated*

These are subject to change as the series progresses, but these are my current thoughts...

WANDAVISION SPOILERS AHEAD, DO NOT READ IF NOT CAUGHT UP.

Vision-- I think that Vision is an external primary, Bird or Badger. I'm leaning toward Badger. He values humanity as a whole, he talks about how beautiful humanity is in Age of Ultron. He values and fights for humanity. Also, when he's talking about Norm with Wanda, one of his big concerns is that Norm has a family who needs him. I think he's a Bird secondary. He does his research on pregnancy, looks into people's minds. His methods include facts, data, philosophy, etc.

Wanda Maximoff-- I think... I thiiiiiiiink?? that she's a Snake primary. Pietro and her parents were her entire world, and she spent a long time seeking to avenge her mother and father, ripped out Ultron's heart because he killed Pietro. I think that Steve and Clint make it into her inner circle by the start of Civil War. In Infinity War, Vision is her priority. He's begging her to destroy the stone, but she just can't-- not until there's no other option. And what she says to Thanos in Endgame? "You took everything from me." Vision was everything. Wanda is a Lion secondary modeling/performing Badger in Westview. She's trying to play the perfect housewife, but her first instinct is to act. She throws Monica out of Westview and storms through the barrier to confront SWORD.

Jimmy Woo-- At first I thought that he was a Bird secondary. He's very by the book, and he picks up skills (#the card trick from Scott), but I'm starting to learn towards Badger for his secondary. Book Keeper Badger though, not a Courtier Badger (borrowing the language of @wisteria-lodge). He works very hard within the community he's chosen and he values traditions and rules. I also think that he's a Badger Primary. He wants to give Wanda the benefit of the doubt, and he says to Darcy that he doesn't want to speak ill of other people. He shows up to meetings with coffee for everyone. I think I'm sold on Double Badger.

Monica Rambeau-- I believe Monica is a Lion primary. In Captain Marvel, she encourages her mom to do the right thing and go save the world, not stay with her. Some things are just wrong, and that includes firing on Wanda (*cough cough* HAYWARD). I think she's also a Lion secondary, her power is going and doing. She gets sucked into Westview because she walked right up and poked at the forcefield, and she picked up a gun and started shooting at her kevlar pants to prove a point. Not convinced, but right now I think she's a Double Lion.

Darcy Lewis-- oh Darcy. I love Darcy. I'm leaning towards a Lion secondary for her, she's so upfront and honest. She says what needs to be said and doesn't really care what anyone else thinks. Primary-wise... I don't get Loyalist vibes from her. She doesn't really seem to have a group of "her people", but doesn't appear to be a Badger either. I'm going to say Bird for now, her decisions seem to be based more on external data than on gut reactions.

Agnes-- I'd love to sort her, but don't know how much of what we see is her personality or her performance. Maaaybe a fun-loving Snake secondary? She does seem to shift depending on the situation. Maybe a Snake secondary modeling Lion? I don't have a clue about her primary yet.

Pietro (Peter)-- I'm going to rewatch Days of Future Past to get an idea about Peter/Pietro Maximoff. I'll be interested to see how that version of him will compare to him on WandaVision!

The download:

Vision: Badger Bird

Wanda: Snake Lion, Badger MODEL

Jimmy: Badger Badger

Monica: Lion Lion

Darcy: Bird Lion

Agnes: TBD

Pietro(Peter): TBD

How did I do, @wisteria-lodge @the-phoenix-heart @sortinghatchats? This is my first real post! All of these are up for debate, so I'd love to hear people's thoughts. Should I try to sort Tommy and Billy?? Ask box is open!

#sorting hat chats #wandavision #vision #wanda maximoff #jimmy woo #monica rambeau #darcy lewis #agnes wandavision #peter maximoff #pietro maximoff #badger primary #bird secondary #snake primary #badger secondary #double badger #double lion #bird primary #lion secondary

the-phoenix-heart

Which house combo is the most represented in media and which one is the least represented ? (I’m betting on Badger Lion for the first.)

Full disclaimer, these are all just my theories because I do not have access to every sorting ever. And obviously there are exceptions to all of what I’m about to say. This ended up becoming a small analysis on all the sortings.

You’re definitely right on the Badger Lion. They don’t call it the protagonist sorting for nothing. When a character just wants to help people because they’re people and they immediately jump into helping them it’s easy to get a story going and just in general they make for nice characters.

I would also put alongside it, Lion Badger, True Lion, and True Badger. A good amount of protagonists are somewhere on the Lion and Badger spectrum because they’re, frankly, easy to write. A character who does things immediately because they know they are right?? Shounen protagonists. A rival who jumps into the fight and is in it for the glory? Yes that’s a Shounen rival. A person who does things because they are right and joins with people and cares for them? A modern spin on a classic archetypical hero. A person who does things because people are people and they want to make people feel better through kindness and teamwork? Have you watched Steven Universe and Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts?

I submit to you that the Badger secondary hero is becoming a lot more common in the modern era because there’s been a shift into shows where family and love and recovery are the main focus. While you can get that across with a Lion secondary protagonist, it’s easier when you have someone who isn’t actively trying to fight people and is instead trying to rehabilitate them. Kipo Oak from the above show is very much a True Badger and I’m fairly certain that Steven is a True Badger.

Another common sorting for opposite reasons is the Snake Bird. A villain who does things only for themselves and possibly those they are very close to by being studious and planners. They basically make for easy villains. True Snakes also get this treatment as well. True Snakes are more likely to be anti-heroes simply because if you need a trickster character who’s not really on any side you’re usually gonna have them be liars and thieves and shapeshifters-all very Snake qualities.

Snake Lions are kind of a wildcard. They can be played as protagonists or as villains or as secondary characters. If they’re a protagonist they’ll definitely be a fan favorite-if they’re a villain/antagonist they’ll probably be a fan favorite. If you have a character who pretty much just follows their friends around and also will jump in to fight-chances are they’re a Snake Lion. They are not the most common only because Society has a tendency to think of protecting your loved ones over all else as selfish. Oh, and Snake Lions have a tendency to die a lot.

Lion Birds are also wildcards. They are the vigilante/fed sorting, but where they stand in media is gonna depend on how they are viewed. Sometimes you end up with propaganda bots, sometimes they’re hardcore activists, sometimes they’re blinded child soldier creators, sometimes they’re somewhere in the middle. Because Lion Birds can be so many things they usually aren’t the center focus if they’re even in the story. Batman and Mulan the main character Lion Birds I’m familiar with, are weird outliers. Batman because he’s a detective first which most comic books don’t do nowadays, and Mulan because she doesn’t feel like Bird secondary, but then again Mulan never was my favorite growing up. I might be missing something. You also have Sarah Williams from Labyrinth as a main character.

You also have Snake Badgers which I have basically no experience with. If I were hard pressed I would say Snake Badgers are love interests. They’re usually doing things for their close friends and their lover and using the people they know and working hard to get their rewards. If they aren’t a lover then they are usually the main characters super “platonic” best friend. Again Tiana is a weird outlier of a main character who is a Snake Badger (I would also count Cinderella as a Snake Badger).

I’ve touched on Lion Snakes before, but there aren’t a lot of them, and even fewer of them are unburnt in some way or not modeling anything else. Lion Snakes are usually antiheroes, or morally complex heroes. There are cases where you have a Lion Snake who just uses the Snake skillset but I wouldn’t say it’s super common. Rarely are Lion Snakes the main character, they’re usually secondary, a deuteragonist, or a member of an ensemble main squad.

We haven’t talked about Bird primaries yet which is why we gotta touch on something. Bird primaries are the least common primary sorting. Bird primaries are the most complex and thus harder for authors to write. Plus sometimes you look at a Bird primary and you think you’ve found one when it’s really just a Burnt Lion!

The most common of the Bird primaries is probably the Bird Lion. Bird Lions make for good protagonists who are confused about their place in the world-running from idea to idea, and also morally complex characters who are figuring out truth and what their place in it is. They also work as a wildcard, but thanks to that Lion secondary which most associate with good they usually aren’t villains, or if they are they’re working for another villain.

Bird Snakes are weird and possibly the most morally complex? @wisteria-lodge (oh hey it’s about time I @ you) classified them as the Maverick/Artist sorting which makes sense. They’re usually Birds who have their truth and now they’ve just got a project they’re working on with their improvisational secondary. They usually show up as secondary characters or villains, although that villain status is subject to change depending on what they want to do and how they want to do it.

True Birds you’d think would be more common, but once you get out of kids shows with a stereotypical nerd character Double Birds becoming harder to locate. I personally love True Birds, but apparently others don’t. These characters might actually be the most wild card of the bunch, ranging from characters like Victor Frankenstein to Entrapta to Hannibal.

But poor Bird Badgers might just have it the worst of the Bird primaries. There are very few examples of Bird Badgers and even though they are great examples nobody really likes to write them. They’re never the main character though. That’s just a fact.

Once you get outta the Lion and Badger secondaries there aren’t a lot of Badger primary characters. Badger Snakes are weird because they care about people (what they have judged as people) and will do whatever they can for them, but people have this idea that caring about people and being manipulative or lying or stealing is a conflict of interests. Woody from Toy Story and the Arthur Conan Doyle version of Sherlock are examples of main character Badger Snakes, although I would call them outliers. Usually they’re in ensemble casts or side characters.

And then you have Badger Birds, which are like, nowhere. And of the characters I’ve seen that are Badger Birds, the ones I do know have no connecting thread between them. I don’t know why characters who do things for people because they’re people and use their plans and strategies to do it are uncommon. I guess maybe it’s because the idea behind a character who does things just because they’re people is thought to be not smart because they’re too kind for braincells? Doesn’t make sense to me, but that’s the only thing I can think of. Dean Winchester is a very weird outlier for this category. For some reason mixing Badgers and Birds isn’t very common.

If you hard pressed me to make a list of all these sortings in order of their relevance in media this is what you would.

1. Badger Lion - (The Protagonist) Examples: All Might/Yagi Toshinori (My Hero Academia), Adora (She-Ra), Amalthea (The Last Unicorn)

2. True Lion - (The Badass) Examples: Princess Leia Organa (Star Wars), Bakugou Katsuki (My Hero Academia), Ron Weasley (Harry Potter)

3. Lion Badger - (The Powerful) Examples: Captain America (Marvel), Neville Longbottom (Harry Potter), Moana (Moana)

4. Snake Bird - (The Mastermind) Examples: Jareth (Labyrinth), Crowley (Good Omens), King Haggard (The Last Unicorn)

5. True Snake - (The Trickster) Examples: Loki (Mavel), Klaus Hargreaves (The Umbrella Academy), Eleanor Shellstrop (The Good Place)

6. True Badger - (The Peacemaker) Examples: Steven Universe (Steven Universe), Kipo Oak (Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts), Chihiro Ogino (Spirited Away) (I place this one below Double Snake and Snake Bird as they’ve begun to rise into relevance recently-also once again there are several dark versions of this sorting) (After this the numbers get more muddled)

7. Snake Lion - (The Rebel) Examples: Darth Vader (Star Wars), Tony Stark (Marvel), Todoroki Shouto (My Hero Academia)

8. Lion Bird - (The Thoughtful) Examples: Batman (DC), Sarah Williams (Labyrinth), Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)

9. Snake Badger - (The Love Interest) Examples: Prince Lir (The Last Unicorn), Tiana (The Princess and the Frog), Jaskier (The Witcher)

10. Lion Snake - (The Independent) Examples: Hawks (My Hero Academia), Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean), Toph (Avatar the Last Airbender)

11. Bird Lion - (The Truth-Seeker) Examples: Harry Potter (Harry Potter), Harley Quinn (DC), Luke Skywalker (Star Wars)

12. True Bird - (The Knowledge-Seeker) Examples: Victor Frankenstein (Frankenstein), Entrapta (She-Ra), Chidi Anagonye (The Good Place)

13. Badger Snake - (The Take-Charge) Examples: Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter), Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Sherlock Holmes (Arthur Conan Doyle)

14. Bird Snake - (The Artiste) Examples: Schmendrick (The Last Unicorn), The Joker (DC-Nolanverse), Ciri (The Witcher)

15. Bird Badger - (The Survivor) Examples: Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter), Diego Hargreaves (The Umbrella Academy), Daphne Blake (Scooby Doo)

16. Badger Bird - (The Martyr) Examples: Michael (The Good Place), Poison Ivy (DC), Dean Winchester (Supernatural)

This is me inviting my fellow sorters to talk on this post and give their thoughts on this. I’m very susceptible to error so if you think I messed something up please tell me. Or just give your regular thoughts on it because I love reading them. Also Wisteria I kinda stole your system.

arizonaraine

This list is everything I never knew I needed.

#sorting hat chats