Midnight Pals: Cats Again
Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the sleepwalkers King: it's about these cat vampire people Poe: oo! what do they look like? King: kinda like cats King: but gross Poe: i don't understand
Poe: i don't understand steve Poe: how could you make a cat Poe: the most beautiful of all animals Poe: look gross? Lovecraft: do they look like Poe: HOWARD Poe: BE QUIET Lovecraft: i was only going to say Poe: we all know what you were going to say Lovecraft: Lovecraft: i never get to say anything
King: well, it's simple edgar King: just imagine that they're all bald and wrinkly Poe: you're just describing a sphinx cat, steve Poe: and all sphinxes are queens King: no no no King: not like a sphinx cat King: more like a big naked mole rat King: or perhaps King: a naked mole King: CAT
Lovecraft: you know, steve, i have to say Lovecraft: i really don't like how anti-cat this story is! Lovecraft: it's kind of cat-phobic Lovecraft: and if there's one thing i can't abide, it's prejudice King: Koontz: Barker: Poe: Lovecraft: against cats
Barker: christ are you lot on about cats again Poe: cats are good, clive Barker: yeah yeah i know that's all you all talk about anymore Barker: it's enough to make a guy crazy! fuckin' cats! King: do you want a cameo in my story or not Barker: Barker: yeah i want a cameo
King: here's the thing about these vampire cats tho King: real cats hate them King: like, cat bites are fatal to them and cats hate them and always try to attack them and kill them Barker: how does that follow thematically King: well, because King: King: because i didn't want the cats to be bad okay
Barker: you didn't want the cats to be bad King: no! i love cats! King: would any man who didn't love cats create such a thematically convoluted work simply for the purpose of exonerating cats? Barker: King: also the cop in this story has a police cat Barker: what
Barker: what?! Barker: how does that make sense King: it's just like a police dog, but a cat Barker: no seriously Barker: what does a police cat do King: you know King: police cat work Barker: Poe: clive, let steve have his police cat George Romero: ACAB includes clovis
Koontz: guys! guys! look at that! Koontz: a sleigh just pulled up outside, drawn by eight cats! King: a cat drawn sleigh?? why, it can only be.... Andre Norton: hello everyone, it's me andre norton Norton: editor of CATFANTASTIQUE!
Andre Norton: every year, i descend from the hallowed halls of CATFANTASTIQUE to choose one special person who loves cats so much that they deserve to join us in CATFANTASTIQUE Norton: stephen king Lovecraft: no Norton: stephen king would you do us the honor Lovecraft: NO!
Andre Norton: we've heard about your story cat's paw, steve Norton: and we'd like to invite you to join us in the hallowed realm of CATFANTASTIQUE Dean Koontz: wow! is there a dogfantastic too? Norton: Norton: i wouldn't know about that
