conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 71 (masterpost here)
Dick: wait so- things i think you'd be good at?
Tim: all of us. like- i have a theory that Damian would be really good at making topiary animals. i don't know why, i just think he'd smash it.
Dick: oh i get it. i actually- yeah, i could see that with Damian. he's got the steady hands and the artistic talent. i have a- ok, so i have one,
Tim: go.
Dick: i've always had the strong belief that if we were to get Bruce into origami, he'd be a fuckin' paper fiend within a month.
Tim: *wheeze*
Dick: like- do you know what i mean? we'd go down to the Batcave and he'd be mindlessly churning out swans 'n octopus' n shit out of paper while trying to figure out a case.
Tim: *still snickering* i like that. i could see that. like some people knit while they watch TV?
Dick: yeah that's his version of that. i also- for you, i also feel like you would be good at ballroom dancing.
Tim, eager: oh i can actually answer that one,
Dick: yeah?
Tim: yup. *sing-song* answer's no,
Dick: *laughing*
Tim, amused: yeah- yeah my mom also had that belief when i was a kid, and she signed me up for lessons. and let me tell you? *matter of fact* used to get on my instructors last nerve~.
Dick: *gleeful* were you really that bad?
Tim: yeah, that man did not like teaching me. i just kept asking to go to the bathroom and then locking myself in for the entire lesson to look after my nintendogs.
*connecting ping*
Damian: Grayson, Father let me finish early; i'm on my way to you.
Dick: oh sick. hey, Dames, you got any headcanons about skills you think me or Tim would be good at if we tried?
Damian: headcanons? about you two?
Dick: yeah, you know... like, personal ideas or-
Damian: i know what a headcanon is. of course i don't.
Tim: aw, c'mon, not one?
Damian: i hate to break it to you, but you two aren't that interesting to think about. i rarely examine my opinions on anything to do with you unless it is directly relevant to my current life.
*a beat*
Dick: alright, ow, kinda offensive considering i invited you up to Bludhaven for the weekend?
Damian, dryly: yeah, cry about it. that will definitely make you more interesting.
Tim: what the fuck- ok fuck you, and fuck this. what about Jason, do we have any about Jason? i feel like he's the sort of person that would be really good at snowboarding but really shit at skiing.
Dick: oh, honestly? ok i do have one that i've been thinking for a while now actually,
Tim: *prompting hum*
Dick: i've always thought that Jason would be fucking incredible as a Dungeons and Dragons DM.
Tim, curious: ooooooh,
Dick: right? like- he's always been a good storyteller, and as meathead-y as he is he can kinda be a bit of a fantasy nerd. i've always thought that if i could convince him to try a campaign with me then it would be one of the greatest moments of my life.
Tim: fuck, no that's genius. i kinda want this now, do you think we could convince him?
Dick: i've been trying for years, he says he doesn't like DnD.
Damian, bored: he's lying, he plays Dungeons and Dragons all the time.
Dick: ...what?
Damian: yeah. he'd DM for me and some of his friends back in the league every now and then. i had no access to video games and Mother disapproved of other board games, so Jason would cover the DnD textbooks with mathematic book covers, and if anybody walked in on us playing we could just shut our notebooks and claim to be doing math exercises with some dice.
Dick, squeaking indignantly: he told me he had no idea how to play and couldn't be fucked to learn!
Damian, still bored: yeah he's lying because he thinks if any of you were to get involved with one of his campaigns you would be 'insufferable' to play with.
Tim: wait wait wait- so Damian, you grew up as a DnD nerd??!
Damian: why did you think i was so gullible about magic and supernatural stuff back then? my only reference for anything outside of league life was fantasy worlds and spells. when Jason first showed me the All Blades he told me it was because he'd 'acquired a new spell slot'. what reason did i have not to believe him?
Tim: oh my god it all makes so much sense now... oh my god,
Dick: wait. Damian...do you... do you still play with him?
*a beat*
Damian: occasionally.
Dick: HE'S BEEN FUCKING DMING FOR YOU AND CUTTING ME OUT?!?!
Tim: i am so fucking offended right now. who the fuck is he playing with? it can't be just you two,
Damian: no, Thomas also plays. and some of his old league friends.
Dick: are you fucking- he lets Duke play and not us?!?!
Damian: Thomas keeps trying to kill the important NPC's though, so getting through the campaign is slow going.
Dick: i am going to lose my mind-
Damian: Jason says it's a good activity for brothers.
Tim, offended: ok-
Dick: *screams*
