the-unholy-venus‌:
“It doesn’t matter if I call you one or not, it doesn’t take away the truth; you are one. You’ll never not be. It’s in us now and it doesn’t change just because we’ve been clean for a while,” she replied to her, her voice was no longer as hard as it once was. She empathised so much with Joey but that didn’t mean she could be soft on her. “If you need supplies then you tell me or Nick, or any of the caretakers when we’re not around. But you do not take it upon yourself to leave without a word,” Vee stopped herself from going on any further, knowing it would only serve to make her feel worse than she probably already did.Â
Vee looked at her again when she spoke about how the people around her were dumb and she wanted a drink. “First of all Joey those fucking people as you like to call them, are part of this camp and therefore, they are family. We look out for each other and help each other wherever we can. What you mean is; people aren’t like you. Which you would be right about but it doesn’t give you any right to insult them. And the answer to drinking is a resounding no, just because it wasn’t your issue doesn’t mean it won’t become it. Stick with your clay and I’ll find you some tools”. Vee may have sounded harsh but she knew her, she saw the younger version of herself in her and didn’t want the past to repeat.
“We’re not the same!” Joey exclaimed in anger. “You’ve been clean for a long time! And you’re- you’re better. I’m supposed to be clean, but all I fucking want is to get high!” She hardly even realized she was admitting a few things – the first being that she wanted to get high; the second, that she didn’t think much of herself. Vee didn’t deserve her outburst at all, but Vee was also the only person in Joey’s path. The only person by her side. In her corner. “I’m not your responsibility, you know..” She tested the words softly, unable to help her curiosity on what she was to Vee. A project maybe? Boredom? But she couldn’t let herself hope that Vee truly cared for her. “You don’t have to feel forced or obligated or whatever. Because it’s not like I’ve ever fucking had to let someone know where I was going before or some shit. They didn’t care or notice, so why should now be any different?” She reached into her pocket, wrapping her fingers around the navy cross Vee gave her, resting it on the side of her index finger, while her thumb rubbed over it back and forth.
“You can’t be that fucking naive, can you?” Joey asked, raising an incredulous eyebrow. “A family? That’s got to be the worst fucking joke of the decade. Family don’t mean shit!” It wasn’t exactly Joey’s fault – after all, she had never experienced anything to the contrary. “Family’s work one of two damn ways. Mostly, they don’t give a fucking damn, and just want a government check. Which is the best case scenario, because in other cases, they just want to be paid to have a verbal or physical punching bag around! And I don’t know if it’s worse being focefully fucking locked in a closet, or locking yourself in one to be safe from your foster father. Or on the off fuckin’ chance the family is wholesome and like you described? They realize you’re not a good fucking fit and ship you off to anywhere but there! There is no family that exists in the way, you’re delusional enough to believe, Vee.” In other words, Joey’s fears were that the people here would judge and look down on her... or they’d force her to leave. That’s all she had known, after all.
“You’d.. really get the dumb sculpting tools or whatever?” She asked after a moment of silence, shifting on the spot and casting her gaze down again. She didn’t mean to lash out, but it was her go to.