Experienced Master @articulatemaster - Tumblr Blog

Public Play In The Vanilla World

With the world returning to “normal”, and many places reopened I started to think of how the lifestyle is often expressed, and done in public. I think that many people have had an uncomfortable experience or two in a public place where a person approaches us, starts talking and suddenly we are in an uncomfortable spot because the stranger is saying or doing things that make us uncomfortable. Perhaps the stranger is asking you to support a politician that you disagree with, questioning your religious background/beliefs, pushing their religion upon you, or making disparaging comments about another person. These incidents are always uncomfortable, especially since we did not give our consent to be brought into this strangers ‘world’. When it comes to this lifestyle, everyone understands the importance of consent (If you do not, please go back to life under your rock). In D/S, where consent is key, there can be a time/place where people who did not consent, do not wish to be part of the lifestyle, and their lack of consent is blatantly ignored.

One of the more popular fetishes for some (myself included) is playing lifestyle ‘games’ in public places. For me, public play is always done incredibly discreetly as well as respectfully. Any activities that may happen in a public space always include one very simple thought, the public that surrounds my partner and myself are not consenting to the activities that we are engaging in. For example, if we were out to dinner and since the public is not consenting, I could stand up on my chair, ask if anyone would mind if I had my submissive remove their panties and hand them to me, thus making sure the entire restaurant has given their consent. I am sure not everyone would consent and to top it off, it would be embarrassing for my submissive, patrons, staff, as well as myself and not to mention what if family, vanilla friends, or coworkers happened to be dining there at the time. So rather than do that, I would quietly ask her to retire to the lady’s room, do as directed, and then discreetly pass the recently removed item to me where it would be promptly hidden away in a pocket.

To me, the above is a great example of how I can still enjoy the lifestyle in public but not impose my lifestyle choices upon the unconsenting public. Many people do not think of the consent of others when it comes to public D/S play and here are some examples:

Master Morris and his submissive Tanya Ta-Tas are racing down the highway in their eighties Mercedes and he commands Tanya to flash her ta-tas at the next car they pass. She complies and Vanessa Vanilla plus her three little kids get to see Tanya flash by.

Sir Iron Skillet and Sally Stir-fry are out at a trendy bistro when he asks her to remove her knickers right at the table. She protests that the server is about to arrive and he orders her to take them off. Since Sally does not want to disappoint her shiny Skillet, she removes them, hands them over and he promptly deposits them half in and half out of his breast pocket so they are displayed for the entire world to see. Their server witnesses the entire exchange and must tend their needs even though he did not consent to their show at his workplace.

There are always those stories about a d-type fingering their s-type the backseat of a cab or Uber/Lyft so when the driver would check their review mirror the driver would see the ‘show’ but the driver has not consented to watch this finger puppet show.

In the sad, stupid, and true category, right in my neck of the woods, a local dominant and his submissive were so aroused after a night out in a neighboring suburb that they could not wait to get home to bow-chicka-wow-wow. The d-typet pulls the car into an empty parking lot of what he assumed was a deserted office building, they get nakie, and start doing the Humpty Dance in the car. Sadly, that office building was not empty, the employees park in back and those employees are police officers. So this two were both arrested, fined, had their mug shots in all the local newspapers plus TV and as a bonus, the laws mandate they become registered sex offenders, which always does amazing things to careers, family/friend relationships and not to mention forget about being involved in anything with a child’s schooling.

Public play can be very stimulating, arousing, intimate, and a way to heighten the bonds between d and s-type but when the lifestyle is taken out into a public place the public must not be forgotten about. It is times like this that consent, a pillar of D/S, takes on a new challenge as consent is no longer just between the partners but is now required from the world at large. I am not suggesting people not enjoy the lifestyle in public but when it is done, do it in such a way that it is done safely, sanely, responsibly, and in a way that does not require the consent of strangers. It is great if you wear an “Ask Me My Safeword” t-shirt to a lifestyle play party but five year old at the market should have to ask their parent “What is a safeword?” Consent takes on a whole new meaning when we take the lifestyle into public spaces and I believe we need to respect the consent of vanilla beans in addition to our partner(s).

As with all of my writings, please see this disclaimer.

©TLK2021

#consent #public consent #safe sane consensual

submichelle

pet-christina

True 💙

magpie-69

Can we say intelligent instead of educated please? I'm an intelligent woman who chose to go no further with academic learning than college (UK higher education college which is not a university). I'm therefore not educated to university standards, but I am still intelligent and my brain runs at 1 million mph 😊

amysubmits

I had the same reaction to the word ‘educated’! Though I’m not sure that it’s really about education or intelligence, honestly. I certainly could be wrong, but I think the idea that lower-IQ people aren't having constant thoughts is probably inaccurate and based in stereotypes/stigmas around developmental disabilities. I think most all people are thinking 24/7 and it’s hard for anyone to turn their thoughts off.

Also, if you are so deep in subspace that you “can’t refuse anything” as this meme states? You shouldn’t be playing further. If you can’t safeword then you can’t consent, either.

magpie-69

@amysubmits All very good points 😊🤗

randybr3001

Driving back to Hillsboro from Hood River

articulatemaster

I terribly miss Oregon

lavender-scorpio-deactivated202

I’m gonna get a lil vulnerable with you guys.

I called my play partner this morning to set up an impact date with him and, as he usually does, he asked me what I wanted to get out of the scene. I told him where my head was at, how I was (and still very much am) struggling with the stress and grief of losing my father to cancer. I told him how I felt like a solid beating would help distract me from how awful I felt. How I felt like I needed to make my outside pain match my inside pain. He listened to me vent about everything I was going through and when I circled back to set up pre negotiations like we would normally do, he very gently told me he wouldn’t do a scene with me right now.

I’m going to be honest guys, I was stunned. Was he not listening to how stressed and sad and overwhelmed I felt?? I told him I needed it. Not wanted, needed. He, still very gently, said no.

He asked me to think about the emotions I was feeling- the anger, the grief, the stress, the desperation to feel anything but what I’ve been feeling. He asked me if I would do a scene with someone who was so consumed by those emotions, and I of course wanted to say yes. Wanted to convince him to give me what I felt like I needed so desperately. But in that moment I knew he was right.

I’m not in the headspace to safely and sanely consent to impact right now, and that’s okay.

We spent the rest of the phone call talking about other things I could do to self soothe in the meantime. Before we hung up, he reassured me that he said no because he cares about my safety and well-being.

I’m really lucky I have someone in my life who could easily recognize that I’m not in a place where I can safely and sanely consent, and who’ll put my needs before their wants.

Get a partner who puts your health and safety first, especially when you can’t do it yourself.

instructor144

Well done, play partner.

articulatemaster

Boost - SSC

#safe sane consensual #amsub

pleasurewhore-deactivated201802

Long Distance Tips from a submissive

See each other, and talk, as often as possible Hearing, and seeing each other, as often as possible is the number one way to feel connected to one another long distance.Try to find little times to connect, even if it’s not a time when you can give your full attention. Talk while you are driving or grocery shopping. For my Dom and I our time differences, and schedules, make finding time to give each other 100% attention hard for us. My Daddy sometimes turns on ‘Daddy TV’ for me, allowing me to watch him on cam while he is working. We mute the sound and chat via text, but being able to see him is a very calming experience for me, and it certainly helps this needy sub feel connected.

Text when you can’t talk Having your camera on, or headphones in, isn’t always practical, but communicating through text chat is often a more manageable way to keep in contact throughout the day. Don’t underestimate the power of a message that says “Just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you’’.

Have a cam ’date’ Order the same takeout (Chinese food, pizza, etc.), and pop on the same Netflix show/movie while you cam together.

Keep a panty catalog Both my Dom and I love when he chooses my panties. I, like most women I know, own more panties than he is able to keep track of without help. What I did was create an album for him, a picture of me in each pair, and a corresponding number, so that all he needs to do is glance at the album and leave me a number to let me know which he chose for the day. This works great with lingerie too.

Send Voice Messages There is a great service on Vocaroo.com that requires no sign up. You can record voice messages for each other so that you have something to listen to at time you will not be able to communicate via voice/cam.

Send pictures and videos as often as possible A silly morning selfie, or a video recording, can go a long way toward making you feel connected. Google drive is a great way to organize these and control who can view/download the videos and images. (However these methods are not hack-proof and you should always be discreet and completely trust and vet anyone you share sexy/revealing content with.)

Don’t make every communication about sex Things don’t need to be sexy all the time. Have a cam session where you just talk. Ask about your partner’s day. Time on voice/cam is often limited in LDRs but that doesn’t mean every opportunity needs to be used for something sexy. Those sexy times will feel so much more special when you’ve fostered a real connection.

Share a to-do list Google keep is a great app that lets you share a to-do list, so you can check tasks/chores off, and your Dom can see what has been completed at any given moment. It also allows either party to add or remove tasks at any time.

Share your playlists The days of mixed tapes are over, but listening to the same song (preferably at the same time) is a great way to feel connected to another person. Shared experiences have a way of uniting us that is very powerful, and music has a draw all it’s own.

Don’t hide your bad days LDRs are, after all, just relationships. Don’t impose on yourself the need to always come off as happy and put together. I’ve had calls where I’ve done little more than cry while my Dom listens and attempts to just be there for me. When another person can’t read your body language you need to make a greater effort to communicate what your feeling. Tell them if you feel sad, or frustrated, or angry. If you know that you’ll have trouble with this I’ve heard some people establish emojis or code-words ahead of time that they can use to communicate a mood when they can’t find the words.

Send a good-morning and goodnight message This is an important practice, especially for people in different time zones. Let them know you are thinking of them when you wake. Tuck-in is a very reassuring ritual for submissives (especially littles) and these simple messages can go a long way toward reassuring both Dom and sub that they are thought of, and missed.

Have a comfort object It’s my intention to write something more extensive about aftercare in a LDR later on, but a great place to start is with a comfort object. It can be a stuffy, a blanket, or a sweatshirt that smells like your partner; anything that reminds you of them. Create good associations by keeping the item close by while you are talking and enjoying yourselves, this will make the object more comforting when you’re feeling down.

Cut yourself some slack Some days will be difficult. You’ll miss connecting because of busy schedules or bad luck. It’s easy to feel neglected and unimportant, but try to keep perspective. Remember and appreciate the effort that your partner puts into your relationship and try to cut them, and yourself, some slack.

itsallprimal

Well written. Simple ideas to put in place.

~Primal

articulatemaster

@bdsm-direct

lg-secretsx-deactivated20240808

4 Types of Boundaries for D/s Relationships

All healthy relationships involve communication, mutual respect, and boundaries. But conversations about boundaries can look different for D/s couples than for vanilla ones.

1. Sexual Boundaries

This includes the soft & hard limits you want to set for play. Don't forget to also talk about all the things you do want, not just the things you don't!

Soft limits: could consider.

Hard limits: definitely not.

Limits can change over time and there's nothing wrong with that! That's why communication is so important.

2. Emotional Boundaries

Emotional boundaries come into play with anything that can trigger stress or an emotional response, including rules, punishments, and some forms of play.

These boundaries are harder to set in advance than sexual ones.

Pay attention to how you & your partner feel when the power exchange is expressed in different ways, especially during punishments.

3. Independence/Dependence Boundaries

One big difference between D/s and vanilla relationships is how much independence each partner has. But D/s does NOT mean codependent.

As a Dom, what is it okay for your sub to depend on you for? How much independence do you need?

As a sub, how much say do you want your Dom to have in what you do? What parts of your life do you need more agency in?

4. Privacy Boundaries

It's important to set boundaries around whether you want other people to know about the D/s aspects of your relationship. Is it okay to tell anyone, and how much do you want to share?

Also consider your comfort level when it comes to showing casual dominance in public.

There's also your personal privacy - things you want to keep to yourself and not share with your partner - just like in any vanilla relationship.

articulatemaster

@bdsm-direct

pleasurewhore-deactivated201802

Determination

Submission, and Dominance for that matter, while inbred, don’t come naturally. Now don’t mistake my meaning here, I believe submissives and Dominants are born this way, as much as people are born with blue eyes or brown. The innate desire to lead, or to follow, is not a choice, but the acts of submission and dominance are not innate, they are learned.

Take sex for example, you can know that you want it, that it is something you need in your life, but learning to have fulfilling sex is a journey, not a single act. And so it is for D/s. You can take a submissive or a Dominant as your own, but that doesn’t complete your journey any more than losing your virginity makes you a master of sex. There is always more to learn.

And you know what? It’s not fucking easy. You’re going to screw up. Probably a lot. You’ll hurt the person you love and it’s going to be soul crushing. They’re going to hurt you too, and you’ll probably be blindsided. You’ll learn and grow, and if you’re anything like me, sometimes you’ll look at the trail of mistakes behind you and you’ll wonder if maybe you aren’t meant for this after all. That maybe you aren’t really submissive because you seem to fail a lot, or that maybe you aren’t really a Dominant because you seem to hurt your sub even when it’s the last thing you want.

But here’s the thing… Dominance and submission are innate desires, but learning to fulfill those desires takes work. Learning to serve your partner, fulfill their needs, and make sure that your own are met, requires determination and effort. Wanting something, truly deeply wanting it, even needing it, doesn’t mean you know how to get it.

You have to be willing to pick yourself back up when you fall. It doesn’t mean you weren’t made for this. It doesn’t mean you aren’t a ‘true’ submissive or a Dominant. It means that if you want it badly enough, you’ll muster the strength to learn.

articulatemaster

@bdsm-direct

sirweltynew

HANDSIGNALS AND POSES !

1) STAND OR UP: Stand with legs 4″ apart, head up, eyes down, arms behind back with palms crossed. This is a position a slave will assume when a master enters the same room as her.

A) Voice Command=Stand or Up.

B) Hand Command=open hand moved up.

2) KNEEL: On your knees, back straight, arms behind back with hands together, head up and eyes down (shown above). This is the slave’s standard position.

A) Voice Command=Kneel.

B) Hand Command=open hand moved down with fingers together.

3) KNEEL SPREAD: On your knees, legs spread as wide as possible, feet together, push breasts out, head up, eyes down, hands behind head and fingers locked. Legs are very wide to allow easy access to the cunt.

A) Voice Command=Kneel spread.

B) No Hand Command.

4) SIT: Indian style on the floor, knees bent, legs spread and crossed at the ankles, palms up on knees, back straight, head up and eyes slightly down.

Variation: If Your Master points to a chair or object and says “sit”, back straight, knees about 2 1/2″ apart, hands on legs, palms down, head up and eyes slightly down. NOT SLUMPED!!

B) Voice Command=Sit.

C) No hand Command unless Master points to an object to sit on.

5) TEACH: On knees, feet together, knees 12-14″ apart, sitting on heels, hands laid on legs with palms up, back straight, head up, eyes down, sitting back on heels, used in teaching and communicating items of importance during training.

A) Voice Command=Teach.

B) Hand Command =Two fingers apart moving down.

6) FACE DOWN: Knees tucked under chest, head bowed, arms straight in front by head, palms down.

This is a worship position and a display of obedience. You may do this on your own if there is a desire. This position is reserved for your Master unless He orders you to show this courtesy to another Master/Mistress.

A) Voice Command=Face Down or Down.

B) Hand Command=Open Hand moved down with fingers apart.

7) LAY DOWN: Lay on stomach, face down, arms above head, legs spread.

A) Voice Command=Lay Down.

B) Hand Command=Open Hand moved from side to side.

8) Variation – Lay down Back: On back, arms above head, legs spread, face up, eyes down.

A) Voice Command=Lay Back.

B) No Hand Command.

9) INSPECTION: Stand legs wide apart, breasts pushed out, hands locked behind head, head up, and eyes down. She can expect to have eyes on her body in this position. The position is much like “kneel spread” only standing.

A) Voice Command = Inspection.

B) No Hand Command.

10) DISPLAY: Items are displayed in the following order. Breast, Pussy, Ass, and Mouth.

Offers each item in the appropriate order for viewing by her Master she then waits for a nod or acknowledgement from her Master before continuing to the next item.

A) Voice Command = Display.

B) No Hand Command

11) EXAMINATION: (four slave positions) This is a command to do a detailed examination of the slave’s body. It is the most details inspection command and position that is composed of (4) positions to be done in the following order and on command: When she is issued the command “Examination” she lays on her back as detailed below. After her Master inspects her in that position he will issue the commands “Front, Cunt, and Anal” and examine the slave in each position.

Voice commands for the different positions:

1) Back: On back, legs spread wide, arms above head, palms up.

2) Front: On stomach, legs spread wide, arms above head, palms down.

3) Cunt: on back, knees bent, spread legs; opens her cunt with her hands for exam.

4) Anal: On knees, head down; spread ass checks for exam.

The Purpose of Display and Examination Positions are to:

1) Demonstrate the training.

2) Remind the slave of her status.

3) Reminds the slave that her body is for her Master’s entertainment.

4) Allows her Master to keep an eye on her body for any flaws see how well she is maintaining her body.

5) Open her for inspection by her Master or others.

12) PUNISHMENT: (2) positions.

1) Punishment Position (Knees): On knees, head down, and hands by face.

2) Punishment Position (Standing): Bend over and grab legs with hands behind calves. Legs are spread in image below, but legs can be together as well.

13) GO TO YOUR CORNER: This is for punishment or discipline or merely to think and focus. Go to a designated corner and nose pressed to wall in kneel position. If for long period of time the slave can shift to the sit position but must keep her nose to the wall.

14) GO TO YOUR PLACE: This is for focusing, studying, or to feel ownership. It is also a place sent when not in use by her Master. This is a place of comfort and relaxation. There is no one positions for this command and accepts that she sits on the floor and remains quite until needed by her Master.

Variations:

1) Face towards Master.

2) Face away from Master.

A) Voice Command=Go to your place.

B) Hand Command=Point to the place

15) FOLLOW: At the right of her Master 3-4 spaces back accept when opening doors or moving items out of the way. Of course the Voice Command is follow.

A) Voice Command = Follow.

B) Point at Her and bend your indexfinger towards you.

16) HEEL: Leash command, but may be used when not leashed, at the right of her Master one pace back as if she is leashed.

A) Voice Command=Heel.

B) Hand Command=Master slaps the side of his leg with palm of his hand.

17) TABLE:

The table position is used to prove a service for your Master. It can be used to place tools on while working or you can use her back to eat meals off. It is for personal service. At time it can be very helpful to the master. Many use this position as a foot stool but I don’t. I use the one below which I find more comfortable.

Voice command = Table

hand signal : none

18) FOOT STOOL or STOOL

On knees and elbow face down with head resting on arms. You are facing away from your master and he lays he legs across your back. You legs are spread so he can play with your cunt if it pleases me. your cunt is facing your master and you head is away from him. it is a far more comfortable stool position for the Master than the table position.

Voice command = stool

Hand signal: none

19) Bondage

Laying on her back with head turned to the right side. Her hands are together in the small of her back and legs crossed at the ankle (right over left). This makes it easy to bind her.

Voice Command = Lay then Binding

Hand signal = none.

20) Over Chair Or Cover couch

This is a position that is used both for pleasure and punishment, depended on a Master’s intent. When given them command the slave bends over the arm of a chair and puts her face into the seat of the chair she bends at the waist. This can be use to play with her cunt and or ass or to whip her.

Command: It is a combined voice and hand signal command. It involves pointing at the chair are couch arm you are order her to bend over and saying “bend over it” she will know from what has been happening if it is for pleasure or punishment.

🔗⛓️🔒

articulatemaster

@bdsm-direct

yallternative-woman-deactivated

articulatemaster

Stunning eyes…

#as requested

sedulous-sub

Supporting your dom.

Tumblr has a way of portraying d/s as waifish, doe-eyed subs at the beck and call of scary suit clad dominants who clearly have it all figured out, and it's so disturbingly inaccurate and troublesome.

The idea that your dom is some sort of robot that is always "on" is unfair and needs addressed. They are as human as the next person and just as prone to the issues we all face daily. Just because they are the one in the position of power in your relationship doesn't mean that they can't have a bad day, suffer from medical issues, suffer from anxiety or depression, be having trouble sleeping, feel a little lost or just need some time alone and I find it really confusing that so many people don't seem to understand this seemingly obvious concept.

There are endless asks bouncing around tumblr along the vein of "my dom is busy with work/with family/sick/stressed and I don't feel they are giving me the attention I need". And yes, sometimes this is clearly just a dom that isn't invested in the relationship and willing to put in the work, but I think we can be too quick to jump on the idea that they're a bad dom without considering the fact they could be a person struggling and just need some support to be able to get through this for the two of you.

Yes, when they accept your submission they are accepting responsibility for your welfare (entirely based on the dynamics of your own relationship) but that doesn't make you, as a sub entirely lacking in responsibility and it doesn't mean that they should neglect their own well-being to get the job done, that's just trouble waiting to happen.

It means that you need to have a conversation about what happens when the situation arises that your dom may not be feeling themselves. Not that they are not your dom anymore or that the relationship is in any sort of danger of collapse...just that you carry on as usual and they/you can deal with what they're going through until they're back on track.

That they communicate their needs and you understand what you need to do to support them and that it doesn't mean you or your needs are any less important in their world. I'm not saying that for us subs it doesn't throw us off sometimes but it's real life and not Tumblr d/s.

It's basic human decency and something that needs to be talked about more openly. We speak so often about subs using their words and communicating their needs and it seems to get overlooked that doms need to not only do this too but feel like they can do it without judgement or lack of understanding.

They need to be able to feel that they can have a bad day without feeling like they'll lose your respect.

They need to know that you've got them just as much as they've got you.

They need your support too.

kaboose-moments

kittysparkleslove

A virile, middle-aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favourite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young woman.

Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he shagged her senseless. After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?"

She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."

Surprised, Guido reached for her and the shagging resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ended and, again, Guido smiled and asked, "You finish?"

Again, after a short pause, she returned his smile, cuddled closer to him and softly said, "No."

Stunned, but fucked if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reached for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely managed it, but they ended together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted, Guido fell onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looked into her eyes, smiled proudly and asked again, "You finish?"

Barely able to speak, the woman whispered in his ear, "No, I'm Norwegian."

instructor144

ysl123

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

pleasurewhore-deactivated201802

Dominant, or Domineering?

I was scrolling back through my archives and I came across an ask from another blog where someone was inquiring about signs that a man was not a Dominant, but simply domineering. I think it’s a really important, and very interesting question, and so I thought I’d like to take a stab at answering. There are a lot of posts out there about how to spot a real Dominant, but so long as there are subs out there struggling to tell the difference I think there can’t be too many.

To be domineering is to assert your will over another person in an aggressive or arrogant way. To be a Dominant is to be a caregiver. Someone who thrives on leading by gaining the trust and devotion of someone who wishes to follow. It sounds simple to tell them apart on paper, but reality isn’t always that black and white, and some people talk a really good game, so how can you tell the difference?

A domineering man will only make his rules all about his pleasure. They may read as a list of fetishes. He’s concerned about how often you shave your cunt, but not how often you see the doctor. A Dominant man will make rules for his pleasure, and your betterment. He cares about which panties you wear, but also how much sleep you get each night. He encourages you to have goals and helps you accomplish them through his rules.

A domineering man will not go out of his way to let you know that you are loved and cherished. His praise comes in the form of “you’re so hot when you do that”, and “I love when you gag on me”. A Dominant man will make sure you know he respects you as a person and supports your accomplishments. “I’m so proud of you for interviewing for the promotion at work”, and “I appreciate that you tried, I know that was hard for you”.

A domineering man will not want to explain his decisions, or discuss his reasoning. He may become angry when you question him, and tell you that it’s not your place. A Dominant man is open to meta-talks. He will not allow you to question every tiny decision, but it’s important to him to address your concerns. He’s not afraid to share his thinking because he has your best interest at heart.

A domineering man doesn’t show interest in making decision that don’t affect him. He’ll choose your panties, but doesn’t really care when you ask him what you should do about that friend who is feeling neglected. A Dominant man wants to help calm your mind, and is happy to help you make even mundane decisions. He has no problem choosing where to eat tonight, or telling you if you should accept the invite to that party.

A domineering man will be concentrated on making you the ‘perfect sub’. He may be overly concerned with your ability to deep throat and unreasonably strict with your diet and exercise program. A Dominant man accept and loves the person you are, and wants to help you meet your goals. He helps you with your diet because he wants for you to be healthy, not skinny, or because YOU expressed a desire for change.

A domineering man will limit your contact with others, especially others in the BDSM community. He’s scared you’ll find out that there’s more out there than what he’s offering. He’s jealous, and resents the time you spend with friends and family. A Dominant man know he can not be your everything and encourages you to learn. He recognizes the value of other relationship and only limits them when there are red flags, or past problems. He encourages you to learn and grow in your understanding of D/s relationships.

A domineering man demands. He raises his voice, doesn’t say please, and doesn’t thank you for the things you do. A Dominant man leads by making you want to follow. He knows that trust is earned and isn’t put off by the effort.

A domineering man gives his time only when it is convenient for him to do so. Domineering man isn’t concerned with calming you before a medical procedure or exam. He cancels plans with you when something better to do comes up. A Dominant man makes you a priority. He sets aside his plans to care for you when you are in need. That doesn’t mean he drops everything because you want company, but when you’re genuinely having a hard time you don’t have to question if he’ll be there for you.

Do all domineering men do all of the things I stated? No, it’s not that simple, but they’re good reference points. It’s about intent. A domineering man is out to fulfill his own desires, and a Dominant man gains his pleasure from successfully providing for the needs and desires of both parties. Will Dominant men sometimes say the things domineering men do? Yes! But domineering men will not also behave as Dominant men do, because Dominant men have broader goals. A Dominant man will but his desires above yours, but he will never put his desires above your needs.

i-could-be-the-walrus-deactivat

Dominant men have patience, a work ethic, and a sense of forward thinking in the management of their own lives that domineering men usually lack. It’s not normally a difference that can be spotted immediately or from the surface, unfortunately. An interested submissive will have to get to know a man’s intent and maybe even some of his history instead of merely observing action/behavior/physical appearance alone. This takes time and effort. This is why vetting is important. For instance…both a domineering man and a dominant man could be super into physical fitness. Maybe even both of them seem a little vain about it. Through (careful, guarded) interaction with them about their focus on diet and exercise (their OWN, not yours…they aren’t your dominant yet…please don’t ask/let a man be your dominant without knowing them on at least a greater than superficial level first), a submissive can get context for why they focus on it. His replies to comments like, ‘So I guess you work out a lot,’ will reveal these things. A domineering man wants to look good to get dates; wants to be strong to intimidate or overpower or impress. He places a heavy value on his appearance and how he presents to other people and will probably place yours at a premium too. He’ll value your surface over your substance because he values his surface over his substance. He likes showing off and outdoing other people at the weight stacks. He likes bragging about how many races he’s run and how many people he bested when he ran them. He likes comparing himself to other people to show he’s superior. He likes showing off his body for the praise of how it looks. He wants accolades for the results, even if his ‘results’ are attained by unhealthy practices like taking anabolic steroids or malnutrition or he’s using photo editing software on his selfies. He’ll be disappointed if his selfies don’t get his requisite positive attention. A dominant man, completing the same rigid personal program, who has the same six-pack abs and bench press number, and maybe even the same penchant for taking a lot of selfies, will more likely talk about how he used to feel weak/was unhappy with how his clothes fit/had a specific health issue/has a family history of a certain health issue, and decided to improve himself/give himself more options/be proactive about his future health prognosis. He might talk about races he’s run, but he’ll say he does this half marathon every year for <charity> because his childhood best friend had <disease> and it raises money for research. He’ll talk about being driven to accomplish goals and see results and he likes the tangibility of how much weight he can lift or beating his last run time/increase his weekly distance. He only compares himself to his former self. He likes the praise he gets for *how much dedication and self-control it took to achieve the look.* The accolades he wants the most are the ones about *his hard work.* And maybe, he won’t even want praise. He might just want a document of his progress for his own reference.

Often the differences are very subtle from the surface, but they are glaring on the inside of a relationship.

lord-spanker

🎩✋🍑 Wave after wave.

instructor144

God, those impact tremors .....

hedonist-woman

I've heard the impact tremors from any sort of impact, including hands or railing her from behind, are incredibly hypnotizing.

apocalyptic-cake-deactivated202

Listen up!

You see a post like this? Where OP might hurt/kill themselves? You hit that button that I circled

Hit that.

Click Suicide or Self-harm Concern

Yes.

Fill in the rest of it, and hit submit. The "content you reported" will fill itself in

Tumblr will follow up and help them.

Warning: this is only for mobile. If anyone knows how to do this for desktop, please add it!

This could SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.

YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO REBLOG THIS.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT DOESN'T GO WITH YOUR BLOG'S THEME.

And yes, REBLOG. Liking does no shit at all. This isn't ig.

You reblog, people see it. You don't, people don't see it. This shit's that simple.

This could save someone's life. It's not a joke.

gyrsaker365

This isn’t some ‘oh yeah sure it could’.

This could legitimately do so.

Don’t you dare fucking scroll past.

obscureoldguy

This is good stuff to know!

zip-a-dee-lady

Water from Disneyland’s Pirates of the Caribbean. Scooped out of the ride in summer of 2010. The bottle was all the way full, and it now almost halfway gone. As of today, it still smells.

For yohoyohoadisneylifeforme

zip-a-dee-lady

My Pirates water is almost completely gone, down to about ¼ of the bottle :/

moontouched-moogle

stop drinking the pirate water

zip-a-dee-lady

Sorry it’s good and it heals me

zip-a-dee-lady

I hate this post so goddamn much. I cannot believe how many of you think I actually drank the water. I hope when it all evaporates away that this post goes with it.

zip-a-dee-lady

Guess what assholes

karlmarxbongrip

2020 really taking everything from us huh 😔

zip-a-dee-lady

I am sad (happy) to report: my water has officially 100% dried up. Which means it’s time for this post to die along with it.

melthehoneybee

Imagine saying the water dried up as if you didn’t drink it

zip-a-dee-lady

About 10 years too late with this info

melthehoneybee

I bet you wished you knew that so you could really age that water before drinking it

zip-a-dee-lady

articulatemaster

I feel a complete loss that this post eluded me for 11 years…makes me wanna go to Disney and get my own water and cork it up

itsrainingshadybitches

From a friend

On Jeopardy the other night, the final question was, How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the Tomb of the Unknowns? —— All three missed it — This is really an awesome sight to watch if you’ve never had the chance Very fascinating.

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

1. How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknowns and why?

21 steps. It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute, which is the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary.

2. How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin hisreturn walk and why?

21 seconds for the same reason as answer number 1

3. Why are his gloves wet?

His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.

4. Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time and if not, why not?

He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.

5. How often are the guards changed?

Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.

6. What are the physical traits of the guard limited to?

For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5’ 10’ and 6’ 2’ tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30.’ Other requirements of the Guard: They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in any way. After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.

The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt. There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror. The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone, nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred.

Among the notables are: President Taft, Joe E. Lewis {the boxer} and Medal of Honor winner Audie Murphy, {the most decorated soldier of WWII} of Hollywood fame.

Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.

ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD, AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.

In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching Washington , DC , our US Senate/House took 2 days off with anticipation of the storm. On the ABC evening news, it was reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They respectfully declined the offer, ‘No way, Sir!’ Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930.

God Bless and Keep Them

I don’t usually suggest that many emails be forwarded, but I’d be very proud if this one reached as many people as possible. We can be very proud of our young men and women in the service no matter where they serve. Duty - Honor - Country IN GOD WE TRUST

for-her-for-me-deactivated20230

Sacrifice is something this country knows less of yearly. Go study these guards, who protect those who protected us. Learn what loving your country is about.

Service before self! God country family

They respectfully declined to leave their post because they have a code, an honor and a duty to uphold.

You never abandon your post, not matter how big or small you feel the task. It is your task to fulfill. 🇺🇸

livewelllaughoftenlovemuch

captainhousebitch

I’m not an American, however I’m reposting this out of respect for the soldiers that commit to this duty. Having visited Arlington I have had the privilege of seeing the guards and the changing of the guards. I have also witnessed this in other countries in Europe and in Russia.

squee-for-joy

Not once have I heard any of this while in school for grades k-12, and not once during my college history classes.

This is something that should have been taught.

slartbarfast

Medal of Honor Recipient Kyle Carpenter… they are NOT “Winners” it is an HONOR that they received 🇺🇸

m-casanova

🙏🏼✝️❤️

mega-mike-2-0

I Always Reblog ,Respect!!!🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

anaisgin-deactivated20240619

💙⛈️🌨️🌦️☀️🌤️🌡️🔥👮🏻‍♂️

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