thought i might post my ao3 account, since everything is also cross posted over there. that and uh. masterlist? i guess?
im a 23 year old psychology student, my pronouns are she/they, but if im being honest, I don't mind any. I can do requests, but can't really promise anything, lmao. im flaky
im queer, talkative and open for pretty much anything. this is a safe space. you feel like you need to yap, im all ears. also, I believe in the don't like, don't read/interact rule. unless it's constructive criticism i specifically ask for, keep shit to yourself. ok thats all. remember to take care of yourselves in this god awful world
my ao3
give me a reason, i'll be the cruel one+the winner takes it all (smut) (ghost x reader)
it takes strength to be gentle and kind (ghost x reader)
make it real, make me forget (john price x reader)
the cat chases the mouse (some things we just don't talk about) (keegan p. russ x reader)
a butchered tongue still singin here above the ground (ghost x reader)
wasn't ready, wasn't willing (and you hit me like a truck) (kyle 'gaz' garrick x reader)
will you still love me (if it turns out im insane?) (john 'soap' mactavish x simon 'ghost' riley)
i love you like the ashes in my cigarette box (frank woods x reader)
how long will i bleed? (digging my own grave) (ghost x roach)
the only way i know (is you) (john price x reader)
you may not like it, but you better learn how (it's your turn now) (cpt john 'soap' mactavish x f!reader)
i don't know where else i can go (soil is falling over my head) (gen, 141 x reader)
im all used up, im carrying my bag of bones (soap x roach)
you've become my ceiling (simon 'ghost' riley x reader)
i don't need the symbol of a scar (simon 'ghost' riley x reader)
wind me tighter than a wire (john 'soap' mactavish x reader)
i loved you like the sun (ghoap)
'cause i can feel ghosts (keegan p. russ x reader)
worth (simon 'ghost' riley whump)
and when broken bodies are washed ashore (who am i to ask for more?) (captain mactavish x reader)
nothing's gonna hurt you baby (ghoap)
bark like a god (baby, let's get down) (ghost x reader)
under the burden of solitude, the weight we carry (is love) (keegan p. russ whump)
i left a part of me (i wanna see if you can try to bring it back) (ghoap)
being with you (makes the flame burn good) (simon 'ghost' riley x gn!reader)
my only love is control (loving you's my only house) (john price x gn!reader)
my ghost (where did you go?) (thomas a. merrick x f!reader)
it never fails to amaze me that in the end, simon did not want to be the man to kill his father. stared blankly at the monster occupying a hospital death, knew death was approaching him either way, and despite the rage and hatred he's felt towards him, all he did was leave. the pain brought upon his father taught him a lesson in life, and while the urge was there, it would be pointless. the bastard would have won. he would have succeeded in making simon to be as awful as he always claimed he was; every traumatic thing he inflicted onto his son would have turn him into the same animal he was. no, vengeance was to be acted on, but not on him. not on the pathetic worm that abused him and his family for years. he would die, and it would mean nothing.
i think price would be the type of person to use a trusted, beloved friend, if it meant that he got what he needed to achieve. it's been shown in the past, and we know he can be uncompromising; while his beliefs are sometimes extreme and justified in his mind, it also means that he's willing to pay a lot, to move closer towards his goal. it wouldn't be a brutal betrayal, by any means, more like stepping on some toes, but do it enough times, and people tend to abandon ship. he has a habit of keeping a close list of people he knows he can count on, or what is his definition of the word. those are the people that will help him, might complain a bit and throw it in his face, but ultimately and in the long run, he doesn't lose much. it's a short list, and he's aware of it. he never has bad, or outward harmful intentions; he just trusts the cause he committed himself too. his moral compass is sometimes described as loose, but it's actually seal tight — there is a lot more things he's willing to do for keep them safe out there, than those things he simply refuses to partake in.
ghost is emotional regulation's final boss. he doesn't even think he has them, let alone is able to somehow identify them. firmly believes that he's just no longer capable of them, that they died out alongside his family; sees no correlation between that and the sweat pooling at his brow whenever soap gets too close; or the panicked way his breathing hitches when danger gets too close to one of the men.
