"For you little gardener and lover of trees," she said to Sam, "I have only a small gift." She put into his hand a little box of plain grey wood, unadorned save for a single silver rune upon the lid. "Here is set G for Galadriel," she said; "but also it may stand for garden in your tongue. In this box there is earth from my orchard, and such blessing as Galadriel has still to bestow is upon it. It will not keep you on your road, nor defend you against any peril; but if you keep it and see your home again at last, then perhaps it may reward you. Though you should find all barren and laid waste, there will be few gardens in Middle-earth that will bloom like your garden, if you sprinkle this earth there. Then you may remember Galadriel, and catch a glimpse far off of Lórien, that you have seen only in our winter. For our spring and our summer are gone by, and they will never be seen on earth again save in memory."
– J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
It’s the year of the horse and I’ve always been a horse girl at heart, so I’m finally taking advantage of the excuse to fill the world with fat little horses! These felted friends are about the size (and shape!) of an apple, and if you happen to have any apples to share I’m sure they’d help you out! When I started making these, I knew I absolutely had to make the Lascaux cave painting horse. There’s no more classic fat horse in the world!
This piece is SOLD but I’m already hard at work on a herd of new ones for Furrydelphia, August 7-9th!
Matchmaker x Dick too Big x One Time Deal x All in a day's Work x No Plot
Female Reader x Male Monster
His penis was much bigger than expected. It sprang out from his pants, bouncing before settling into a heartbeat twitch. His face was tense. He shared the embarrassment felt by most of the monsters coming through your door. But there was nothing to be ashamed of. First Love First, your matchmaking business, was successful for a reason!
“Let’s see,” you murmured. You held your measuring tape against his shaft, snapping a picture. Another from underneath to show the girth. “No wonder you came to me.” You wrote a few notes down on your tablet. “It must be hard finding someone who wouldn’t run screaming from this.”
The orc frowned a bit, fidgeting as his cock still stayed erect. Hell, it appeared to be getting even harder than before. The porn video playing in the background was nothing to you. These days, it would take a lot more than that to get you excited. But the orc’s eyes darted from the screen and back down to you as you made more notes.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of. There are more size queens in this world than you would think.” You took the fabric measuring tape from your neck and wrapped it around his cock just under the glans. A shimmering drip of pre-cum appeared at his tip.
“It’ll be no issue finding you a human woman.” Your eyes focused on that dazzling drip of pre-cum. The head of his cock was slightly purple, flared along the base.
I shiver trickled down from his shoulders to his loins. “That…that tickles,” the orc grunted.
You released the measuring tape a bit. “Sorry, there er-” You glanced at his sign-in sheet. “Earl.” You gave him a smile as you looped the tape around the center of his cock. The pre-cum was spilling.
“No worries.” His voice was tight, dark eyes pointed at the TV screen. “I take it you do this a lot?”
“Mm-hmm!” It was a point of pride for you. You loved your job and the business you built from the floor up. “Several every day. Cocks, tentacles, vulvas, expressers, oviposters, cloacas — I’ve seen them all!” You were quite proud of your work. Lots of monsters were out and about these days. Most of them were eager to find an excellent human to fuck, mate, whatever with.
You tried to reassure him with a smile. “Like I said, no need to be nervous. You’re in expert hands.”
His pre-cum was practically a faucet at this point. “I see. Very interesting,” he grumbled, cheeks a few shades darker.
“Eh. You would think that, but we’re all the same in a way.” You wrote his girth on your tablet and then slid the tape down around his base. He jolted, gasping out loud. His cock sprang into my face, hitting you in the face.
“Oh, no! Oh god! I’m so sorry!” Earl exclaimed dramatically in humiliation. “I’m so sorry!” he grabbed his cock, pressing it into his belly.
You adjusted your glasses, wiping his pre-cum off your face. Some had splashed onto your lips. It was…sweet? You laughed to break the tension. “Hey! Not the first time it’s happened. I’ve had worse-behaved genitalia, I’ll tell you that.” You stood and reached for a tissue, wiping your face.
“Yeah, but I don’t make a habit of doing such a thing!” Earl was still grasping his groin, fretting in place before the white photography screen.
“Earl, Earl, it’s okay.” You placed your hand on his shoulder. “I do have to get that last measurement, though. Think you can control yourself this time?”
Earl nodded shakily. Slowly he removed his hand, and his cock sprang back out, throbbing harder than before. You knelt back down, aiming the camera again because someone had jostled it. You brought the measuring tape down, cinching it around his base.
His pre-cum practically sputtered. People knew orcs for being, well, quite wet. But Earl was excitingly juicy. The sweetness still lingered on your tongue. Was he a fan of pineapple, or was he just the sweetest orc in the city?
You snapped a picture and stood back up, draping the measuring tape around your neck. “Alright, Earl, that’ll do it there.”
“Now what?” He muttered. Earl wasn’t anything special, orc-wise anyway. He was tall, square-jawed, thick and well-toned with hairy arms, chest and belly. He was graying a bit, which showed along his temples and down the center of his chest.
But it was that cock of his!
You glanced at his cock and then back at his face. “Well, if you’d like, I can leave you alone to take care of yourself. We can then finish the pictures.”
He swallowed hard as his eyes tried to avoid yours.
You then took off your glasses. “Or I could help you.”
His eyes lifted, face changing colors. His jaw dropped slightly. “What? Are you sure? I mean-” Earl shifted, alluding to his size.
“I told you, I’ve seen just about everything.” You unbuttoned your top slowly, letting the curve of your breasts appear, the lace of your bra. “Done most of them, too.”
His cock was practically trembling. He was growing more and more excited. “Really?” He was breathless.
You smirked, opening your blouse to reveal the sheer lace of your bra, the top of your soft belly over your shirt. “Like I said. There is nothing to be ashamed of here.” You knelt down on the floor before Earl, wrapping the measuring tape back around his cock. He shuddered, moving back to brace against the white wall.
“You’re a first. I will admit.” You licked your lips. “I've never had one this big before.” You tightened the tape, tugging him closer to your lips. You lapped your tongue over the slit, tasting him again. He was going to be a green apple sucker.
“Miss oh-” he gasped, pressing back into the wall as your lips circled him. He would make your jaw ache, but that was alright. You took him as deep into your mouth as you thought possible.
“Wait! Wait!” His shuddering hand clasped the back of your head.
You didn’t wait. You took, bobbing your head and using the measuring tape to hold him in place. What a sensation! The head of his cock almost choked you, which made you salivate more. His sweetness spread all around your mouth.
“Miss,” Earl was wheezing. “I’m gonna come!”
Do it, you dared him with your eyes. You could take it. Come on, come for me, fill my throat, you thought. You wanted this, didn’t you? To fuck me? Am I your type, Earl?
He was whimpering and moaning, sounding so sweet and pathetic. His back arched, pushing his hips forward and thrusting his cock further into your throat. He was thick, and that wasn’t just his girth. His semen was syrupy and warm. It spilled out the side of your mouth, and Earl pulled from you.
His load dribbled from your lips and onto your breasts. Ah yes, the magnificent orc load. Not as much as a minotaur, but way more than a gnoll. It was satisfying to take care of such a magnificent beast as his cock.
“Feel better?” You stood, going for the tissue box again. “You’ll for sure be in high demand. I can-” Earl was behind you. He grabbed your hips and forced your ass against his groin. He was still rock hard!
“Oh! One of those!” Your laugh came out nervous. “If you give me a second, I can get my office ready for-” Earl pulled your skirt down. His hand then went between your thighs, pressing into your panties to find your core soaking wet.
“Ah! Ha ha!” You panted as his fingers thrust into you, pushing your panties with them. “Earl, that’s quite rough.” Not that you minded.
Earl licked your neck and nipped your ear. His free hand grasped your breast, pinching and fondling the nipple. His fingers sank deeper, curling and playing you like an instrument.
You grasped the edge of the prop table, gasping for breath as he found your weak point. Your knees were shaking, and it was becoming hard to stand in those heels.
“Can I have a second?” You panted. “I need to situate myself. I need to-” Earl bent you over the table, lifting your hips until your mound was flush with his chin. You yelped, stretching out your arms to grab onto the opposite edge of the table for balance.
“Sorry, Miss, but-” Earl’s tongue lapped over your sopping panties. The heat of his breath tickled, arousing you even more. Everything was warm, growing hotter by the second.
“It’s okay,” you grunted. “Happy to um help.” You got that bobbing in water feeling. Warm all over, body free and limp, floating in the great expanse.
“You taste so good,” Earl growled at you. He pushed your panties aside, thrusting his tongue into you. “I haven’t had pussy in so long!”
Your lashes fluttered, and you couldn’t quite form words. His finger tapped against your needy clit, stoking it with more fire. “Oh muh gud,” you choked out.
He buried himself deeper between your thighs. Tongue, fingers, vibrating snarls. He would not let you go. It didn’t matter; you will sacrifice the time.
“You’re going to come for me.” Your chubby thighs muffled Earl’s voice. “Do it. Come.”
He didn’t even need to ask. The rumbling of his demands sent you over the waterfall, bobbing, swaying, crashing into a million pieces at the bottom.
“Fuck! Fuck you! Fucking orc! Oh, fuck!” You cried out, sounding between pissed and pained. But neither was the case.
Earl chuckled, setting you back down. He stepped aside, watching, waiting to see what you would do.
“Lay down!” You commanded, pushing your hair out of your face.
He did as commanded. Dick sat straight up like a sundial.
You pushed off your panties and tossed your bra aside. You gathered up your hair, tying it up and away from your face. As you walked towards him, you kicked off your shoes.
You studied him, thinking about the best way to approach this. Oh well, you thought, I’m just going to dive in.
You straddled him, kissing him, licking his lips, sucking his tongue. You rubbed against him, leaving a wet trail on his belly. His hands stroked your back, grasping at you.
You sat up, easing backwards until his cock pressed against your ass. “I’ll tell you when to move again. Got it, Earl?” You tapped your finger to your lips. “Be good.” You sat up a bit, holding his cock in place so you could spear yourself on him.
Slowly. Slowly. You coaxed yourself. You’ve never taken something this big before. How this will go is something you can’t know. Although if you could take two Minotaur, you could do anything.
“Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!” Earl was surging as he tried to stay still. He was breathing hard, chest falling up and down rapidly.
“How long has it been?” You teased. “Hmm? What was the last pussy you got to fuck?” You licked your lips, still tasting his sweetness. “Never? Maybe once?”
His eyes shut tight. “A few times. Ah! But I never got to come!”
A little more. Steady! You pressed a hand against his chest. “What have you done since?” You bit your lip. He was filling you to the max! Could you even take anymore?
“Special cocksleeve,” he whimpered.
“Poor thing.” You moaned. “Well, open your eyes now.”
Earl’s dark brown eyes fluttered, seeing you were fully upon him. If you didn’t have such a belly, you might have been able to see him bulging inside you.
“Oh, fuck!” Earl gasped, throwing spittle from his lips.
“You won’t need that cock sleeve for much longer. I can promise you that.” You shifted your hips, grinding him deep inside you. Fuck, he was deep! Was this dangerous?
Earl was struggling to remain still. He was twitching all over.
“I know plenty of girls like me,” you giggled. “Queens who take pride in being able to take monster cocks with ease.”
Earl couldn’t speak. He was jerky and unfocused. His mind was between your thighs and up inside you.
“Boy, do you feel good though!” You gasped. “I almost hate to share. But a guy like you? You need to be shared to get all the sex you deserve.” You patted his cheek. “Now fuck me.”
Obliteration came to mind as Earl grabbed you, holding you down upon him while he shook his hips from below. You saw stars, no; you saw the bright white light at the end of a long tunnel. Was he fucking you to death? Could that happen?
At one point he stood up, pressing you against the wall. He thrust upwards inside you, growling and whining the whole time. Poor thing, desperate to fuck but unable to perform. Until now, at least. Even with no sexual skills, he knew where to drive.
Somewhere in time, he stood before the mirror, holding your legs to show you just how you took him. His shaft made your lips stretch wide open, your plump vulva overflowing. His massive sack was dripping with your wetness. You watched yourself bouncing on him. Great green cock disappearing and reappearing before you.
Your back was against the table, and Earl was on top of you. Deep thrusts had long shaken the good sense out of you. You may have to take the next day off. How long had it been? You hadn’t kept track of time.
“I’m coming,” Earl’s voice was tight.
You whimpered, unable to make a sound beyond nonverbal grunts and wheezes.
His body tensed, sweat glistening on his brow. He clenched his jaw, thrusting his tusks forward. “I’m gonna come! Oh fuck! You’re making me come!”
Yes, he was doing the same to you. Another rush of heat and power toppled you, throwing you into the currents and back down that waterfall. Something warm splattered against your face, your breasts, your belly. More and more of it coated you until Earl dropped to his knees on the floor. His head rested against your knee. His hot breath pelted onto your shin.
You reached down to make sure your vagina was still there. Most of it was. You laid back, breathing, trying to catch up with the flow of time.
“Oh, my god! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!” Earl was hurriedly darting around the room, trying to find something. “Please don’t be mad at me! I didn’t mean to go so hard.”
You braced yourself on the table, lapping his seed off your lips. You wiped more away before it got into your eye. He made a mess of you, that’s for sure.
Earl was using his shirt to wipe you up. “I’m so sorry, Miss.”
You grinned. “Don’t be.” You pulled him in for a kiss, lapping his lips and up his tusks. “I had a lot of fun with you. And never apologize for a good time. You had fun, right?” You pressed up against him.
Earl’s eyes were wide and shining.
“Let me tell you what.” You stood up, bad idea, your legs almost gave out from under you. “Can you hand me my tablet?”
Earl nodded, rushing over to get it and then place it in your hands. You tapped around the screen, trying to keep from tipping over. “I have a couple of friends I wouldn’t mind introducing you to. Great girls, eager for a challenge. How about I set up a dinner party so you can meet them?”
His flushed face changed color again. “I um. Well…what would…should I bring anything?” he stepped towards you again. “Wine? Maybe some fancy dessert?”
You giggled. “Just bring yourself. That’s all the girls really want.” You were already sending out a message to a group chat. “This is a special service, let’s just say.”
Earl was still fidgeting. He had done all that, and he was suddenly shy again. “Well, uh…thank you, Miss! People really recommended your services. I can see now they were underselling it.”
“Oh, anytime. Really.” You looked over his profile. “I’ll wait to post your profile after the dinner party. You may meet a lucky girl there.”
“Thank you! Thank you!” Earl was nodding his head in excitement.
“Thank me once I’ve done my actual job. Half of the bill will also do.” You said, holding out your tablet so he could make payment.
“Yes, of course!” Earl reached for his pants folded neatly by the photography screen.
“I’ll contact you once I get the dinner party set up. You have my card should you need anything from me in the meantime.”
“Yes, of course.” His confidence was up, which is really what he needed. He practically skipped down the street he was so happy.
Your assistant came in after Earl had left. “Oh, my!” she gasped. “What happened to you?” She went to the closet, taking out a towel and a bottle of water.
You took a gulp of the water. “Just work.”
Your secretary happily mopped you up with the towel. “Are you going to take on your next client?”
“I need a moment,” you huffed. “Can you take care of it?”
Your secretary nodded excitedly. “Of course!” She was eager to help with interviews. Part of the reason you chose her. “I’ll get this place cleaned up in a jiff! You rest now, boss. Leave everything to me.”
You guzzled more water and sighed. “If there’s a way to move around appointments tomorrow, let me know.” You picked up your clothes and went into your office. Using your tablet, you shut all the blinds and dimmed the lights. Laying back on the sofa, you let your body sink down, down, down.
“Oh my god that was fucking stupid” you muttered. The post nut clarity was hitting. You need more than a nap to recover from that matchmaking interview. If you could even walk after the nap.
Wizards of the Coast: gnolls are brutal and violent beasts, they’re dumb as rocks, the only thing they love more than murdering unsuspecting adventurers is eating them afterwards
Me: okay but what if some of them were, you know, chill, like they were just dudes? They’re still people, surely they can’t all be evil as a rule, I don’t like the implications of that
Wizards of the Coast: no they LOVE murder and they’re super evil. In fact, their god is really a demon, and all of them are also demon-possessed? They live in abandoned ruins and stuff because they can’t build their own villages or create anything, all they know how to do is steal and destroy. Also don’t feel bad about killing the baby ones when you’re clearing out a settlement, they’d for sure grow up to be evil no matter what, it’s fine
Me: cool that sucks, anyway I made a gnoll, she’s nice and her name is Sweet Pea
I love 1) having elaborate imaginary arguments, 2) creating characters out of pure spite for disappointing lore, and 3) hyenas
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