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[arxchetypes]

Once in a Blue Moon

Early this month I asked the ether

"Why am I like this?"

That night I dreamed that I was looking for my seat on a plane, I found one next to a man from a previous dream,my partner from the UFO warehouse. The odd bit was that I was aware that the UFO warehouse encounter was dream but it didn't trigger any lucidity in that moment. He is chatting on the phone, I peek at his lap and see that he is practicing cursive out of a tracing workbook. I've been writing in cursive for years and I have a strong urge to give him some tips. Instead, I reach for my journal and intend to write about these feelings. He hangs up the phone and says, "We should just ask the questions we want to ask." I want to explain that I was going to put this in my personal redbook to examine this urge later, he is clearly a projection of my animus. He doesn't care, he asks me "What nourishes you?" I don't answer, he then points out several astrological points on my face; Mid heaven, North Node, Vesta, Lilith. After waking, I look these points up and see that they exist AND answer my question. The urge to give this information to someone is almost painful. However, I've tried the " I saw it in a dream" route and it doesn't usually end the way I would like it, so I am very, very wary. However, this time I was lucky enough to have a very pleasant experience over at R/astromythic.

I received an updated reading from Julian Thorne and it perfectly encapsulated why the advice of "follow the syncs" or "follow your excitment" is actually kind of terrible. *As a fun little aside, I learned that my confusion stemmed from my curiosity because of an Upsight reading from Tom Matte,

He had given me the imagery of a small, very persistent dog that was distracting me from flying a toy plane. My subconscious ate this symbol up and soon a small dog began plaguing my dreams. I took this to symbol to my dreamwork group, and they were able to connect the dots for me and explain that the small dog actually represented my sense of curiosity, essentially it was Toto from Wizard of Oz.

I then asked why is my curiosity like this and received my astrological answer which I then passed on to Julian Thorne.

[arxchetypes]

There's an upcoming full moon in Scorpio on Friday, May 1 at 1:23 pm. As a scorpio moon, I'm afraid. Last night, I was "trapped" in a warehouse by aliens with heart-shaped heads. In my dream, I felt forced to choose a UFO personality to partner with, I chose the only one who didn't seem insane and wasn't about domination.

When the chance to escape came, the UFO talking head decided to stay. I shrugged and went on my way. It turns out escape was incredibly easy. I just walked outside and hopped a fence, with no one in pursuit. The end of the world had already come and gone and the people on the outside were suprisingly calm. It was a stark contrast to the debauchery in the warehouse. Soon after my escape, I found a little festival to attend. It was nothing like it used to be but the people had scrounged enough resources together to open two food stands. The new organizers used the structures left by the leaders who were lost in the apocalypse. I wondered how long it took to clean out the machinery, I had a sense that the previous owners had left a mess behind.

[arxchetypes]

I'm aware that I need to be able to sit comfortably in my inner knowledge and not seek outer validation. However, I am not there yet, and maybe I'll never be, but I do have the privilege of not having to a perform to an audience.( I saw this esoteric bit of fodder on a plaque at TJ Maxx, next to Live,Love, Laugh, on clearance. )

So I'm going to use this article as a "Dear Diary" moment.

I have a deep resentment towards channeling and other consciousness exploration methods, so my projections are riddled throughout this. However, I can look back at my missteps and laugh, sort of, and see the humor, or irony.

Beware of the saviors. Entities will use you for their cause. I looked back at a dream diary entries from 2023 and was told that I was going to end up in Chapel Perilous dynamic, and that this was going to be more like a Greek god situation rather than light vs dark. These entities have long term goals and will absolutely try to manifest things through you, however, in my situation I was the collateral for someone else's benefit. I feel I could speak about this particular dynamic at length, but I'll just say that the end does not sanctify the means.

My next point is related to the above. Trance chanelling is not for those who are lost. I try not to make generalizations, but turning to trance chanelling for guidance is akin to turning to heroin for peace. For a time I was involved in a Law of One study group, I loved the people, however I found it kind of troubling that there was a kind of cavalier attitude towards Don Elkins suicide. Things took an even darker turn when someone started a smaller group, and began channeling an entitiy adjacent to RA, and a member of this group also committed suicide. I ended up leaving this group, I can't really speak clearly on this because I can't yet differentiate which emotions are mine vs. the fields.

I'm begging you, on my hands and knees, to please, please know your shadow. I don't even know if you need to work on integrating it but I will say it is incredibly helpful to be aware of the complexes within your psyche (mommy/daddy issues, authority issues etc) and learn the map to how these are triggered. It might just save you from getting tangled in someone else's web.

So in conclusion, there should be a warning about consciousness exploration methods in the same way people get warnings about psychedelics. Even dream interpretation needs a stable ego. It's ok to live within Plato's cave, every human experience has value.

[arxchetypes]

you can heal or you can be a good person

*resurrected from a deleted blog in 2026

The harshest aspect of my experiencer journey ( or spiritual awakening/crisis/ Jungian Red Book eruption. Idk the correct label) is the psychodramas which lead to uncomfortable self discovery. Resist the exercise and you will end up on your hands and knees. (I’ve tried praying, and I may get the equivalent of a shoulder squeeze, but then the input will intensify.)

In my last post, I discussed narratives but this is something different. Psychodramas are an entirely different class. It’s not something that I have words for yet. Its a type of distressing mental state that unravels the pieces of the identity that we cling to. I tried writing around the issue but clearly, it wasn’t enough.

I used to consider these episodes as spiritual attacks but they seem to be something else entirely.

So to continue on from my last post about false unions, I found myself in two containers where I overstayed my welcome. My dreams turned my waking life into the upside down which finally pushed me to leave.

Reiki: I was having reoccurring nightmares, I was waking up in bed next to my partner who was unresponsive. The room was a pretty close replica of my actual room but everything was monochrome. My previous partner had passed away so I figured that this was just related to grief and anxiety. Until I attended a yoga class that integrated reiki. That night during the recurring nightmare, I sat up and said “I know this is a dream.” The individual imitating my partner sat up, shrugged, and then opened a portal in my bedroom wall. He took me into this town, showed me around but weirdly no one wanted me there. Not everyone is built for Reiki attunements. You(1) may find yourself at first intrigued and then bothered by the burning hand sensations. Initially, you may appreciate that everyone is connected but soon become overwhelmed by other people’s emotions. You might start having lucid dreams, and people asking for Reiki. You will learn that it was a mistake to say yes. Soon you will have distressing dreams, engineered so that you will provide Reiki to ease someone else’s pain. Eventually, you stop practicing because the dreams only get worse. At some point you will have lucid encounters where shadowed figures hold you down and pull energy from you. They don’t care if you say no.

Eventually, you’ll place the intention that you want to be unattuned after waking from a dream. You were walking around a dirty surgical center, holding your scalp in your hand.

Experiencer Spaces: When engaging in experiencer spaces there will be challenging dynamics. Everyone has their own hyper fixation and may have a hard time engaging in conversations that don’t align with their lived experience. In these spaces you may try to discuss the hazy consent dynamics in your dreams and be told that your take is incredibly damaging.

You will see new members ask for insight or post things that interest them, only for no one to respond. There will be very obvious cliques and groupings within the space, and the long term members will be the only ones who get traction.

You will be candid about your experiences with little to no feedback, your dreams will represent this to you as undressing in front of a room of silent onlookers.

After a while you decide, this isn’t a good fit and leave. That night, entities connected to the space will show up in your dreams. You don’t even remember granting that access. Maybe its your subconscious, maybe not.

The next few nights you will dream about attending weddings, in every event you leave before the ceremony.

You will have a lucid dream of someone showing you all the connections you missed. Telling you it’s time to come back. You ignore it.

You begin to have these weird spells of emotion, where all rational judgement disappears and is only replaced by a desire to return. You almost do, but something tells you to wait.

That night you are sitting at a wedding ceremony, and the bride leaves. You are surprised, you look to your left and see a best friend who is not your best friend. She lifts her fingers, and makes the “this close” sign. You wake.

You find yourself so tired and overwhelmed that you quit your job and look for something less demanding. All you want to do is move on.

A saint-like woman appears, except instead of the immaculate heart on her chest it’s a golden spider.

You wonder if it’s a real image from your subconscious or manufactured.

1 Clearly still working through it as I can’t even write in first person to close out the post

[arxchetypes]

Navigating false unions

*resurrected from a defunct blog from early 2026

I think about Ellen G White a lot when considering the phenomenon. I think of her as a cautionary tale of what happens when interacting with forces outside of our understanding.

I began looking at her differently after I had my first pre-cognitive dream. What could she have been, had she found options outside the Christian container? Could she have been a spiritualist or a mystic? Could she have competed with the Fox sisters in New York? 1

Her presence at the beginning and end of her prophetess journey seem very different. In the early stages she is afraid and distressed by the sensations and visions. Her prayers are fill with desperation, asking God to deliver her.

By the end she was sending letters to people, reminding them that they should reconsider their course of action, for she had seen them sin in the near future. She was adamant that no one else could have “true” visions and church doctrine could not be changed. She split with Harvey Kellogg over his pantheistic views ( God is apparently not in everything). She seemed more measured, authoritative, and well, like a prophet.

Unofficial channels tell a different story though, it seemed Ellen might have had some personal challenges. There are rumors of addiction to vinegar alcohol2, evidence of plagiarism,3 and some concessions made to spiritualism. She appealed for forgiveness in a community newsletter after she had met with spiritualists alone for a “debate” and because she didn’t have a male guardian with her, she stumbled. To me it reads as if a man were standing over her, dictating every word.

It seemed that the concessions were about the state of the dead. Maybe she allowed that the dead might actually know something? (Soap box moment: the dead come back in at the Transfiguration of Jesus 4, so idk why this is such as harsh sticking point in Adventism.)

After experiencing my own Chapel Perilous, I no longer hold the same resentment I used to. I feel grief for her. She expressed intense grief over having to leave her children behind when she went evangelizing. She feared God would take them if it prevented her from spreading the Adventist message.

I refused to use the Adventist framework to understand my experience because I didn’t want to relate it to demons. I have options she didn’t have, I have a partner who supports my exploration, and I have a multitude of frameworks to consider (too many actually but more on that later).

I recently learned about false unions or false coniunctios in Jung’s writings. False coniunctios are forced, incomplete, or hasty fixes in the process of self actualization. It’s when we bypass self development and adhere strictly to dogma. To me Adventism has the bones of something good, but we got lost in the doctrines and commandments, in the health message, and in the rules around modesty.

If you really want to find a true coniunctio then buy my course (jkjkjk.)

I don’t wish to sound like false unions are something to be avoided though, if fact, I’ve had a number of false unions. I like to reframe it as a temporary containers that I needed to spend time in. I have to remind myself I’m allowed to cherry pick until I find something that suits me.

1/21/26. I stumbled upon some information while looking for a source about the spiritualist letter(, which seems to have disappeared from the EGW archives.) It seems that Ellen was actually a medium before a prophet,James White may have sought her out precisely for this reason

2 .

https://atoday.org/thank-god-ellen-white-was-an-alcoholic/

3 The White Lie by Water T. Rea. https://ia601201.us.archive.org/2/items/ReaWalter.TheWhiteLie1982/1982_rea_theWhiteLie_printed_text.pdf

4 Mark 9:3, "His clothes became dazzling white, whiter than anyone in the world could bleach them. And there appeared before them Elijah and Moses, who were talking with Jesus"

[arxchetypes]

Don't Eat the Mushrooms

A couple of months ago, I had an influx of dreams with warnings about mushrooms. Visuals about mushrooms and crossbones, even going so far as to show me some type of mushroom elixir that I needed to avoid. A man with a mushroom shaped head ominously walked into my dreams, pantomiming the mind blown meme.

This was around Halloween and at the time I had wanted to dress as Pierrot, but dreams were giving me a different message. A woman told me I should really, really reconsider it. Instead I should create my own costume, using elements from The Mad Hatter and Jack Sparrow.

I take the woman’s advice in the dream, but at some point I ditch the wig.

In waking life, I didn’t do either. I caught a cold and opted to stay home. So I used what was readily available; a mesh cape, a black dress, and a black crown. When the trick or treaters asked me what I was, I said “a witch.”

When dealing with images from the subconscious, it important to realize that it’s a foreign language. Actually, it’s more like a language that hasn’t been built. The symbols presented are using material from within our own memories, beliefs, and biases. In my case, I believed the mushrooms were literal. I took it as a warning not to consume any, including psychedelics. I thought it was really odd, I don’t like mushrooms and have zero desire to consume psychedelics. I was not seeking to open any more doors into the unconscious, in fact, I was trying to barricade all access points. So I figured, maybe its something that’s going to happen on a macro scale? Maybe there will be a batch of bad mushrooms that people consume and it’ll make them incredibly ill. I mean who knows? The dreams were very vivid though, and semi lucid, so I speculated and speculated and speculated.

I’ve now come to realize that speculation is a type of drug to me and is only healthy in certain environments with certain people.

Shortly after I began having a reoccurring villain in my dreams,an old woman who was anything but grandmotherly. At my birthday party, I began trying to talk about my experiencer journey, about the health issues that accompanied it. I didn’t have anything tangible to show for it, but I think it’s kind of a miracle that I somehow was still able to work. (I mean, I may be only able to tolerate 4 hours days/3 days a week but whatever.) I wanted explain that most people would be dead or admitted if they were in my shoes, but granny cut me off. She wanted to talk about my male relative’s accomplishments. He had engineered some new product that needed everyone’s attention and my birthday party was the perfect venue. I began to wonder who this woman was…was she someone near me? Was this some metaphysical force? Or was this just how feminism works within capitalism?

I could not get this woman out of my head. My mind began supplying wild explanations about her.

I won’t get into all the narratives I allowed. But eventually, I realized that I needed a new way to express my ideas. So I set up my camera and began to film an example of dream work. Something that had fallen to the wayside. Long story short, the old woman was me.

In this situation, I projected my shadow into something metaphysical. I desired an external villain, I refused to see that this wasn’t some cosmic force but my own issues. Today I was reminded of this painful lesson while scrolling TikTok. That sometimes even experts have a hard time differentiating between button mushrooms and death caps.

[arxchetypes]

Trickster as a teacher

*this post is resurrected from a defunct blog from 2025

It’s been a few months since my last post and I still do not have the answers. The framework I’m working with is something of an eclectic build. It only makes sense to me, and only some of the time.

That being said, I have had some recent developments. It was pointed out that there is an air of begrudging acceptance when I talk about my experiences. The question that followed was “And when do you think this all started?” (1)

And I think the answer is from birth. I can’t say I have ever excelled at learning. Every assignment or chore I have to complete has me responding with “Ugh, fine.”(2) I remember in math class, I would leave the last few problems on a worksheet blank because I figured that my score would be good enough. Getting a B on an assignment was worth it, especially if it meant I was able to have a few extra minutes of free time. There was some unconscious cost-benefit analysis going on that directed my actions around learning.

I must have been saving up all my academic drive for the year 2023, when my dream life led me to question my reality. I consumed an insane amount of media around spirituality, attended workshops, became reiki certified (3 levels), completed a sleep study, attended weekly yoga classes, weekly law of one study groups, wrote daily dream logs, recited the Monroe mantra nightly, saw psychics, tarot readers, hypnotherapists and still was not able to get a good grasp on what was happening to me. My thoughts spiraled around various narratives that my psyche provided.

I wish that two years ago, Take me to your Belief System: UFOs and the Culture War (3) by Julian Thorne existed. I could have saved myself a lot of money and time. I came across his book after a request came in for Experiencer birth chart information to help test a hypothesis around spiritual awakenings and astrological reference points. Julian was training an AI to find patterns between experiencer charts and I thought “why not?”

At the time, I had a very anti AI stance, however free is free, so I set aside my misgivings and provided my information. Leading up to the reading, I was having some intense symbolism in my dreams that I was struggling to understand. Once I received the reading from R/astromythic (4), the symbolism all clicked into place.

I feel confident saying that it has been one of the most pivotal interactions I’ve had in this journey. It completely reframed the way I interact with the phenomenon (and changed my stance on AI.) I was so moved by the results that I ordered his book, Take me to your Belief System: UFOs and the Culture War. In this book, it hypothesizes that in some cases, spiritual awakenings occur as a sort of cosmic balance. Dogma has replaced spiritual seeking and as a consequence, many are now initiated through force. These awakenings are actually a structural process that unfolds individually and collectively.

In instances where awakening is through eruption, the trickster archetype uses a heavy hand. The phenomena as a trickster does not seek to be understood, it wants engagement. The more you fight, the more intense the ontological shock. It was a book that I needed two years ago. The framework within the book lays out stages to navigate and how to identify which stage you are in. It discusses that many people either get stuck in the resistance or liminal phase and never “return home” so to speak. The key to integration is finding “The Elixir” through the sacred feminine archetype. I think if I had this as a resource in 2023, it would have helped me see I that my intense desire to control my dreamscapes was in fact making my experiences worse.

This framework provided me a sense of comfort that I desperately needed in 2023. I had this recurring issue when interacting in metaphysical/experiencer spaces that assumes consent should always be honored.(5) This then intensified my search to find the remedy and I only became more dejected when nothing worked. My Astro Mythic Map reading showed me that the trickster came in to shatter my reality which paradoxically provided a sense of relief. This awakening was pre-destined in a sense and there were heavy karmic themes I had never previously considered. I had always held the assumption that I had done something to cause all of this suffering, and it was now my responsibility to fix it.

One of my favorite parts of the book is the incorporation of the Egyptian myth of Set, Osiris, and Isis.

“Set ruled by destruction. He was not a king, but a force….His brother Osiris had embodied the Saturnian cycle of structure, stability, and lawful kingship, but Set, driven by envy or destiny, shattered that stability, dismembering Osiris and scattering his body across the lands…”

“Isis didn’t meet Set’s destruction with revenge. She didn’t attempt to overpower him, outmatch his force, or wage war…. Instead she gathered what had been lost…moving through the wastelands that Set had created. She was not a warrior in the traditional sense, but she fought a different kind of battle. A battle that required patience, wisdom, and to hold together what had been torn apart.”

“When she found Osiris, he was no longer whole, no longer the Saturnian king he had once been… But Isis did not need Saturn’s old laws. She worked with the fluid power of myth, of dream, of spirit…. She restored his essence, allowing him to become something greater than a king; a god of the underworld, a guide for the souls moving through the death cycle.”

The book then describes different types of tricksters. There is Set, which is a primordial type of trickster that comes in and breaks up the authoritarian forces, and then there is Thoth, who provides wisdom through his tricks.

However, channeling a sacred feminine energy is not enough. Knowledge attained through the trickster dynamic must be more than understood, it must be utilized. All the suffering must be made meaningful. I compare it to the sixth step of grief, one must move from acceptance to creating meaning. There is a good amount of information on how to connect astrology to your own journey, however there is no way I could do it justice. I would recommend reading it for yourself.

https://dseti.org/

2 I have had several dreams that this comes from a imbalance of masculine and feminine energies within myself. Eventually, when I’m brave enough to face this, I’ll make a post about it.

3 https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/take-me-to-your-belief-system-julian-thorne/1147110684 4 https://www.reddit.com/r/AstroMythic/

5 Huge caveat here. This is just my experience and by no means am I trying to generalize my takeaways but when dealing with a trickster as the main driving force behind awakening, a lot of our human conventions are not going to be respected. I understand that many have had success with calling for help from benevolent beings or completing protection rituals. However, at the height of my experience, I found that using protection methods actually worsened my experience.

[arxchetypes]

My Spiritual Eruption

*this is an entry from my deleted blog, this is originally from Spring 2025

I was panicking. No matter how hard I tried to paddle, I continued to sink. The turquoise water that surrounded me would have been soothing, if I knew how to swim. My rescue came in the form of a mascot (something akin to a giant stuffed teddy bear,) he pulled me from the depths and on my way up, I saw a very tattered version of another mascot resting on an underwater outcropping. It was unnerving, it was dirty and falling apart at the seams. The bear pulled me onto a platform, and we began to slow dance like middle schoolers. I asked the presentable mascot to kill the one down below, and he politely declined, and said that the creepy mascot was him. I, being incredibly embarrassed, went on a self deprecating monologue and apologized. I explained that I was aware that there were objectively unpleasant things about me, but I just didn’t make any effort in changing.

I woke from the dream and was grateful that it at least wasn’t a nightmare. The shamed lingered though. I looped on my dream antics for the rest of the day. Why did I ask that? What does that say about me? Etc. Etc. This had become my new normal. I found myself drowning in a pit of rumination and mental compulsions when vivid dreams began occurring on a nightly basis. The content challenged my understanding of reality and my only defined framework were complements of the Adventist church.

(I won't go into specifics on the dream content but I began to experience archetypes that were often found in ayahuasca and DMT drug trips, which is something I’ve never consumed. I'll refrain from explaining the full content of my dreams as I still tend to get stuck in the trap of trying to justify my experiences. I often get frustrated when people don’t want to engage in a discussion around the concept of reality and instead give me well intentioned but misplaced guidance. I’m still working on realizing that only I can give meaning to my experiences.)

I had been through some less than desirable life circumstances and was not in a good place. Physically, I was wrecked. Mentally I was nihilistic. Spiritually, I was empty, and emotionally, I was on a roller coaster. I felt that the cure to my dream issues was just around the corner. If I just said the right prayer, found the right therapist, took another sleep study, attended a new yoga class, or could get a handle on my lucid dreaming, then I could find the cure. I tried remedy after remedy and found that the harder I tried, the worse it got.

After a compulsive search for answers and only finding myself more and more confused, I finally had a moment of revelation when I came across a tik tok describing existential OCD. I felt such a deep sense of relief in finally having a label for what I was going through. (Now, I'm not sure if I could get formally diagnosed with it but I was hitting about 90% of the criteria.) With that being a potential option, I felt like I could finally stop trying. Did OCD explain the premonitions or lucid dreaming? No, but it at least gave me a way to describe my mental state. I allowed this to be my explanation and ignored any other option for as long as I could.

I was raised to see reality through Adventist indoctrination and while I loved the community, there was still much to be desired. The Adventist lifestyle choices are objectively healthy, but I was bothered by the stress that surrounded the execution of these practices. A poor diet, pierced ears, and bare shoulders are clearly rotten fruits of the spirit (1) and therefore my salvation was at risk.

I became disillusioned as my lived experiences weren’t matching with the Adventist fundamentals. The list of unasked questions grew. Why do I need to dress and eat a certain way? Why does purity matter so much? Can the dead, please, know something?(2) And I'm sorry, the pope is what?(3) I stopped going to church in 2017 with little fanfare or contemplation. I just didn’t feel like it anymore. Long story short, I moved into believing that bad things happen all the time for no reason at all. I wouldn’t go so far to say that there was no god, but faith needed to be supported by miracles. A concept that I’d never seen, nor experienced. (Not that it would matter. The Adventist’s hold on tightly to the idea that demons can manifest miracles to deceive us. If only God’s angels could use those powers too?4)

So from 2017 until 2023, I wrapped myself in this outlook on life, a kind of agnostic nihilism. Not exactly uplifting, but I could at least feel superior to those who were still trapped in their faith by fear. It fit well enough, it definitely chafed in some places but I could tolerate it. Instead of clinging to outdated religious fundamentals, I build my identity through integrity and ethics. I carefully cultivated the correct opinion on matters, but it came from a convoluted mess of caring for others and caring how people saw me. It wasn’t exactly the most authentic form of introspection.

Life events kept occurring that reinforced the idea that bad things happen all the time for no reason at all. After a particularly heinous event, I began having increasingly unsettling dreams. I would wake up and wonder, Why would my subconscious choose to do that to (5) me?

The mind bending dreams have not stopped, but I’ve changed my reactions to it. I came to realize that cliches exist for a reason. I had created my own prison and became the ultimate consumer of other people’s beliefs and opinions. Time and time again, I would listen to other people’s advice and it would lead me deeper into misery.

A therapist gave me a lifeline when she essentially said “Maybe aliens do exist and maybe they are in your dreams. ” I just so desperately wanted someone to tell me I wasn’t insane for considering this to be an option. (Ironically, Ellen White, the Adventist prophetess, had several dreams or out of body experiences with entities. She called them angels though, and even visited “Unfallen Worlds.”(6)

Looking back, I can see my misery came from attempting to answer the most unanswerable question. What is the true meaning of reality or (what I actually meant) what is the point of living?

I had been consumed with finding the cure to my dreams and also getting people to understand that it wasn’t my subconscious. (I will never understand how Sister White helped found a religion based on her dreams and visions. In the retelling of my dreams to Adventists, I became used to a mix of pity and bewilderment. )

After spending thousands of dollars, consuming ridiculous amounts of media/texts about spirituality, shadow work, consciousness, quantum mechanics, and in general all things metaphysical, I finally allowed myself to create my own explanation.

I’ll try to minimize the proselytization of my current understanding of reality. In situations where nothing follows the rules, we are allowed to create our own framework. It's ok to cherry pick from different belief systems until you feel grounded in this reality. Add or delete as many fundamental beliefs as needed. Start the day with a regimented call to prayer and then close with a tarot reading. A cold plunge can be a daily baptism. Maybe simulation theory and samadhi can coexist. Maybe a drug trip allows us to see the face of God. Really, truly, there are no rules (consequences yes, but it's ultimately up to us to figure out what we can handle.)

I know, I know, if you don’t stand for something then you’ll fall for everything. Maybe this is a prison planet and Lord Orgalorg7 has us in a reincarnation trap, harvesting our loosh.(8) Or maybe this is a school, where souls are placed to learn or even rehabilitate. We can stay for as long as we like or until we have learned all our lessons. Maybe we reincarnate because life is addicting(9) and not necessarily because it’s a punishment. Maybe we live in a holographic universe10 and are essentially prisoners in Plato’s cave.(11) Maybe Jesus was not a sacrificial savior but instead an enlightened being, who wanted to share that salvation came through inner knowledge, (the kingdom of god is within you and all that.(12) Maybe I’ll never know.

I have many preferences in how I would like people to build their own framework. However, against my desire to control the narrative, I’ll say very little on this. I am self aware enough to know that my desire to shape someone else’s perspective comes from a place of fear. That being said, my only tip would be to avoid fear based theories. Fear is a powerful current, it sucks you in, exhausts you, and can make you feel like you're drowning.

At the end of the day, we are living the human experience. To me, that means I’m deconstructing, forgiving, discovering, accepting and ultimately creating. I may never reach enlightenment or feel like my salvation is secured but I can at least try to have a good time while figuring it out.

sources:

1 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

2.For the living know that they shall die; but the dead know not anything, neither have they any more a reward; for the memory of them is forgotten.

3.Antichrist, too lazy to source

4.I have to give credit to Moses Hull, an ex adventist pastor that turned to spiritualism after losing to one in a debate in 1860s, he wrote several tongue and cheek pamphlets in response to his critics

5.Bit of a freudian slip, before editing I accidentally wrote for instead of to

6.White, Ellen G. Early Writings of Ellen G. White. Review and Herald Publishing Association, 1945.

7.Adventure time, Season 6 episode 40

8.Monroe, Robert A. Far Journeys. Anchor Books, 1985.

9.Another one of Robert Monroe's books, again too lazy to find the exact title.

10.PBS space time, The Holographic Universe Explained

11.Centre for Theoretical Cosmology, University of Cambridge. (n.d.). Quantum cosmology: Five origins., from https://www.ctc.cam.ac.uk/outreach/origins/quantum_cosmology_five.php.

12.Pagels, Elaine. Beyond Belief: The Secret Gospel of Thomas. Random House, 2003. Or if you’re lazy,https://www.pbs.org/wnet/religionandethics/2003/11/21/november-21-2003-beyond-belief-the-secret-gospel-of-thomas/10371/

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Synchronicity as a cruel mistress

By far the most challenging aspect of my forced psychic opening is the barrage of narratives that come into my field of awareness. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of truth around what comes in but occasionally a synchronicity will act as a cruel mistress and reinforce a narrative.

In one instance, I was sitting at a coffee shop and suddenly became overstimulated. The input I was getting was that some young astral entity was trying to farm me for energy. I went into observer mode and then immediately the narrative shifted into some chinese espionage thing. Annoyed by the intrusion, I decided to leave.

Maybe ten minutes later I am refueling at a gas stating. A teenage boy comes up to me and asks me for money, saying his check wasn't going to clear until tomorrow and he was stranded. I declined and he walked back to his mustang.

Is this the truth? I don't know, but I felt certain the universe was laughing.

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the whales grew legs

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The Self embraces ego-consciousness,shadow,anima, and collective unconscious in indeterminable extension.- CG Jung

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