Exercise Bike for a 6-Pack of Beer
I had a cheap exercise bike collecting clothes in the corner of a room. I imagined how much happier i would be if that bike was beer.
Hello Winter McFatty, I know what youâre thinking: summerâs just around the corner and youâve got to put down the fork and start thinking out getting in some type of non-blimp-like shape.
But after several expensive unused gym memberships youâre looking for something in the âI want to get fit, but donât want to have a $2,000 treadmill staring daggers and making me feel guilty when I choose to eat a jar of Nutella instead of exerciseâ category. Well, little Sprocket Rocket here is your answer. Itâs like taking a Tinder date to McDonaldâs: Itâs cheaper than a hooker and it may just get the job done.
The silver lining to your imminent failure If/when you decide that cycling âjust isnât for youâ (letâs be honest here, itâs a 50/50 chance at best), you can smile in the knowledge that you paid less than $30 for a piece of sporting equipment that does an awesome job of keeping a wardrobeâs worth of clothes off the ground. And you made guyâs day by giving him a six-pack of craft beer. win-sort-of-win.
A unpaid testimonial âIf youâre thinking about giving stationary cycling a go, I couldnât recommend Sprocket Rocket more. If I started cycling on this bike I probably would have been good enough to stay clean.â â Lance Armstrong
Well look at choo If, by some minor miracle, you do get a few hundred kilometres under your now shrinking belt and youâre looking for a bigger challenge â vive la adjustable rĂŠsistance! Sprocket Rocket can be cranked up from âLook, mum, Iâm flyingâ right through to âWho the f&*k filled my bike with chunky peanut butter?!â.
Key features ⢠Soft-grip handlebars/hat hooks ⢠Comfy seat/towel dryer ⢠Velcro pedals straps/shoe holders ⢠High-tech display and tracking gizmo/rocket launcher(maybe) ⢠Adjustable seat height to keep those extra long towels off the ground
The price A six pack of cold craft beer â buyerâs choice
Next steps (add crappy motivational fitspo quote here)
CORRESPONDENCE: This sold quicker way quicker than expected. I know the price was cheap but I thought the ad would scare serious buyers away. I kept the ad up for a while after it sold for shits and gigs.
First bite: Hi mate, Iâm keen for the bike to give it a go, though im a 50/50 chance as you said but for a six pack I may as well. Text me to arrange pick up. Â Â Me: Sold! Now get your fat-arse over here with that 6-pack. Anytime after 5 my address is ---. Â Â Â
Insulted:Â Do you think youâll sell this by insulting people? Me:Â Thanks for you interest but unfortunately it has been sold...fatty.
Tassie:Â Will you take a 6 pack of Boags? Me:Â Is that whatâs in the fridge? Tassie:Â Maybe... Me:Â You enjoy them
For real: Â Hi not sure if ad is real or fake but very happy to provide 6 pack of premium craft beer for exercise bike? Me: Â As real as my hard-earned thirst. Unfortunately it sold. The six pack was one of those cheap Liquorland 'craft-looking' beers. đ I'm sure yours would have been better. Â For real: I guess weâll never know. Thanks for the entertainment though.
THE RESULT: As mentioned in the correspondence, the buyer did the expected and bought the cheapest âcraftâ beer he could find. I was so disappointed I forgot to take a photo of the 6-pack before I drank it. It did little to wash the bitter taste out of my mouth.Â










