empire of dirt.

AND NOW I'M LAYING HERE IN MY OWN LITTLE ALASKA asher lee johnson. 33. photographer.

[asherjxhnson]

cassiemorgan:

Cassie chuckled, looking away for a moment. She didn’t think he meant it to be funny, but he was so straight faced as he said it that she couldn’t not laugh. Whether it was to cause cracks in the silence and protect herself from it or whether it was genuine she wasn’t quite sure, but he added an infinitesimal smile which reassured her that it was okay, and she couldn’t see judgement in her eyes like she’d received from those back home. She gave another smile and started to stretch out her feet, flexing them up to counteract the six inch stiletto heel she’d been wearing all night, needing to readjust to being flat on the floor again. Cases remembered the time when she could only wear heels for an hour tops, and was briefly impressed with herself for the progress. “Hello.”

She shook her head at his suggestion, as much as the idea was appealing there was no chance of falling asleep just yet. “I’m far too awake.” She advised, and looked back inside her apartment. After staring for what seemed like too long, she hoped he didn’t assume she wished to be apart from him but felt obligated not to be. Cassie turned her dark eyes back to Asher’s, and pointed a finger inside. “Do you want to come in?” It was a bold ask, and she regretted it immediately for she knew the answer would be a negative. There was little to do inside, except maybe feel more formal, and neither needed that. “Or a drink?” She added, trying to glaze over the first question as nonchalantly as she could manage. There was also the matter of whether it was smart to bring him in, but as she’d brought strange men home before she didn’t think this too much of a stretch.

It was a rare occasion, where his smile widened a little further than a fainting line, a light expression painted in shallow colors to reside on his face, where the evidence of sleepless nights lingered on, in spite of everything. A wide smile wasn’t often genuine. More a disguise, a mask to be worn to hide tragedy behind a mask of fatigued neutrality. But as her chuckle rang in the air with another chilling breeze, it was his immediate reaction. His gaze lowered, face pointing downward, and azure irises were clinging to the tips of his battered boots, secure on the cold metal of the fire escape. His elbows were secure on his knees and a deep breath sat deep inside his torso, all while his expression slowly weakened after just a moment. He hoisted his gaze at her reply, the previous smile a shadow of its own, still hovering like a ghost, refusing to give up on its presence lingering on.

He nodded, very well understanding and envy kicked in a mere moment later, after a few seconds’ delay. Tiredness was a dark friend, a threatening entity looming over him wherever he went, with every step he took it crawled closer and infected his mind with its spellwork of wicked manipulation. A deep-rooted longing for the feeling of being awake and poised for life to happen and the rays of a warm sun to reach through to his rusted core, slowly wrapped itself around the fist-sized organ inside his broad chest. Her question pulled him out of his trance of extensive thoughts about trifles beyond his power. There was a moment of hesitation, lips parted but words got stuck beneath the next inquiry she uttered. And he simply nodded. 

[asherjxhnson]

jaxonmoore:

Jaxon’s furious tries to get better had once again been destroyed by the one day of the year he hated the most. Four long years since the accident that turned his life upside down. He hadn’t slept well, called in sick for his classes, but knew he had to leave the house to get something to eat either way. He had done this three times already – he knew more or less how to handle himself. Yet his head was in the clouds, so much that he almost ran straight in front of a car. A distant honking noise woke him up, had him stumble back and crash into somebody else. Quickly turning around, he managed an apologetic and strained smile. “I’m so sorry. Did I hurt you? I should have looked for cars before crossing the road. Today really isn’t my day.”

The smoke of his cigarette poisoned his body, furthering the damage done. It was a gradual burn for sore lungs, seemingly out of breath as he walked down the busy sidewalk with steps shuffling every once in a while. Dark bags beneath bright eyes were visible for the prying gazes of passersby, paying little mind to just one of many faces in the afternoon crowd. A deep sigh brushed chapped lips and smoke rose up and drew a winded line, soon vanished with only the scent of nicotine lingering. The honk of the car ceased to be the warning required, as a moment later, the impact shoved him backward. A cuss was tight around his tonuge, but never made it through. There was a loud yelp behind him. Once balance was regained and he stood on his feet, he barely acknowledged the other man’s presence, as he looked down at an old lady, the contents of her grocery bags scattered on the sidewalk. “Shit,” he breathed as he bent down to help her up. “Sorry.”

[asherjxhnson]

noelle-lourdes:

“Trust me, it’s happy hour somewhere,” Noelle stated as she raised her glass to toast the person in front of her. 

His expression spoke of a neutrality, dabbling into the realm of grim emotions. “Somewhere. Sure.” Emphasis on Happy -- not really when he was left with a glass of champagne. “You have something else, or?”

[asherjxhnson]

cassiemorgan:

The corner of Cassie’s lips twitched up into a crooked smile, and she gave a small nod. “I work late,” like that wasn’t obvious already. She glanced inside her apartment to see her heels sprawled on the floor where she’d kicked them off, he must’ve seen them, the glittery symbol of her parents’ anger and her own independence. “It’s okay,” she reassured, feeling safe in his company now they’d smoked, and sort of spoken. Enough to not feel threatened, and so little that she was still curious as to who he was, what he was doing up this time of night. She had an excuse, she’d just gotten in, but he was merely there, no reason visible.

Cassie gave a slow nod, expecting him to ask for her own in return but after a few moments it became clear that no such question would be forthcoming. “Asher,” she repeated, like she had to test the way it worked. “Cassie.” She offered up, though from the lack of interest in asking, she expected little interest in the answer. She forgave him though, as it was so late and he looked tired. Too tired. She put her hand over her mouth as she yawned, tired but not quite ready to sleep. Her body felt like she was touching a live wire, buzzing and she wouldn’t be able to switch off just yet.

“Figured.” There was a shallow wish to return the grin, smile a Cheshire smile back into the girl’s direction, where she was still situated on the sill of her open window, the warmth merging with night’s relentless cold. However, all he could muster was the ghost of an expression, his features softening until a calm sense of neutrality had folded itself around his face, bearing the visible consequences of tragedies repressed and forced into oblivion’s direction. Alteration only became a realistic option, once reassurance was given in the form of gentle words. He nodded, another faint smile curling around his chapped lips. His intention was not to scare and startle, unsettle and send shivers down another’s spine, at the sight of the resident creep sitting in front of their windows. He was just a lonely boy, entrapped inside a grown man’s body, with too much spare time on his hands and too little things to put his scarce energy into.

“Hi Cassie.” His voice was soft and once more, the line separating its volume from a whisper was faint, evidently hard to find in the dimly-lit shelter of a short night. Few hours were left until the sun would peek up and crawl over the line of the horizon in the distance, to announce the beginning of another day. It was all an undefined blur to him -- often he’d lost track of the dates, pages sinking from a calendar, long outdated against his kitchen wall. She yawned and reminded her of someone he might have known in a different life, some centuries ago or just the last dream he’d memorized. “Maybe you should get some sleep.” He’d even remove his presence from the spot in front of her apartment’s windows, would look for a different spot to pass the time in utter silence.

[asherjxhnson]

phoebesmatthews:

                 The best thing about living in New York was the freedom. To many, it looked like one big cage filled with steel towers and one too many people. But to someone like Phoebe it was pure paradise. She had never been the open spaces type. She liked the cramped feel that was some how accompanied by pure freedom. See, in her opinion, the chance to find some new, uncharted place in the city, or come across a dozen new faces daily meant freedom to her. It was why she had fallen so deeply in love with the inner city of New York. Thus, leaving it behind wasn’t easy. Sure, Montreal had it’s high rises and it’s hustle and bustle, but it didn’t hold a candle to Manhattan. Still, Phoebe went out and searched for something that could bring her back home for at least a little.

                 That was when she found access to a roof top on one of the highest buildings she could find near her apartment. It was night time, and though it wasn’t as high as she had hoped for, the view was still just as breath taking. And with a bottle of Svedka in one hand, and a bag of doritos resting upon the ledge, Phoebe felt at ease. She had stood up there for almost and hour before she heard something behind her. Curious, the half drunk female went out searching only to find an unfamiliar face hanging out up here like she was. “Looks like you and I share the same idea,” she began, walking closer to the stranger. “Unless you’re up here to arrest me for like trespassing then no, we definitely don’t share the same idea, actually.” 

                His memories from a time when sleep had been something he didn’t have to worry about were faint. The first five years were the only time he’d had to properly make a temporary home in the city, claimed to never get a night’s restful sleep. New York City was a foreign concept to him, even to this day, when the amount of times he’d traveled back into the city lined against the east coast beyond Canada’s border. The images in his memory were dangerously close to fading, sleepless nights and a head full of sorrowful thoughts, willfuly working against growth and progress into the direction of a positive light and gleaming hope, smudged them with a fat thumb until they were barely recognizable things in the far distance, where his grasp ceased to reach.

                 Her silhouette stood sharp against the lights of the city to the dark hours of the day, when the world had been put to sleep and lullabies were only to be heard in the form of shallow echoes creeping through the cold air, carried away by gentle breezes and chilling kisses against someone’s reddening cheeks. The world at night was more to his liking. Less crowded, more quiet and reserved, mysteries written in the shadows cast beneath the post of street lamps, illuminating various spots throughout an almost deserted scenery. His vision blurred, with the shadowy surroundings above the roofs of Montreal, there was a certain degree of undeniable difficulty to make out the female’s features in the dim light. “I don’t live here. Couldn’t care less for any trespassers.” Obviously. There was the faintest of smirks ghosting over chapped lips, easing his words to an almost unnoticeable extent.

[asherjxhnson]

sethcasillas:

“God dammit. Why does this keep happening?” 

“Looks like you’ve got yourself a fan.” One, which might have delved into the field of creepy.

[asherjxhnson]

TEXT -- KILLIAN

( IAN ): Exactly! So 7:15 at my place? Game starts at 7:30

( ASHER ): ... can I bring a cat? My neighbor asked me to look after it, because he's at the hospital.

[asherjxhnson]

TEXT -- KILLIAN

( IAN ): That reminds me, game starts an hour earlier today. Timezone changes and all.

( ASHER ): ... that explains everything.

[asherjxhnson]

sethcasillas:

“Any idea where my shirt went? I swear I turned around for two minutes and now it’s gone.. I think someone might’ve stolen it.”

“There was some blonde girl taking off to the exit. Was probably her.”

[asherjxhnson]

cassiemorgan:

Cassie felt lost in his presence, lost in the moment. Everything went slower, the cigarette floated down to tarmac like a sheet of paper, soft and flowing. She turned her gaze back to him, and nodded in response. Cassie tried to look at where his apartment should have been, but couldn’t from her spot on the window. She didn’t need to see, not now, she’d look another time. Maybe take a page from his book and go to his level, see his apartment close up. It would only be fair. 

Without the cigarette her hands didn’t know what to do, where to sit, and Cassie spent a moment readjusting her clothes like he wasn’t there and watching with his focused eyes. She eventually settled, hands laced together over her waist. There was an obvious question hanging in the air, why’d you come to my place to smoke, but Cassie ignored it. For whatever reason, she didn’t need the answer, at least not this second. “What’s your name?” She finally asked, not yet ready to return to the full, heavy silence.

His company was draining. Or at least, that was what he was told by those who happened to find themselves again near him, in a chance encounter or an ill-fated decision of having the wish to get to know him just a little better. See if they could pry deep enough to unfurl the veil above the secret behind the dark circles beneath his eyes, drawn by sleepless nights, and the glazed expression coating bright eyes, mirrors keeping intruders’ curious glances out of his messy soul’s inner workings. “Didn’t think you were out until now.” His words were half-murmured into the cold air, clear that he was longing for treasured moments of much needed rest. “Sorry, if I creeped you out.” A sloppy apology, several octaves lower, to the point, where their audibility was almost questionable. He lowered his gaze momentarily, as though to try and find a gleaming spot on the ground beneath, to no avail.

What’s your name? The question hung in the air for a second, maybe two, before he could utter an answer. “Asher.” Azure irises shivering up to meet hers once more. He would have asked her, but sincerity would be overcast with doubt. Common courtesy was barely something he excelled at, the last thing he considered in this moment. Her name would have been forgotten in a matter of minutes, perhaps even an hour from now, if he was lucky. A bad thing -- the incapacity of memorizing the names of random individuals, whose existence he’d only learned of a brief while prior.

[asherjxhnson]

TEXT -- KILLIAN

( IAN ): Then we have a deal. Don't be late.

( ASHER ): You know me. I'm always late.

[asherjxhnson]

alexfowler:

After a long day at work his superior told Alex to go home to take a few hours of well deserved sleep. He went to take his coat and left the hospital. It was early in the morning, and even though it was still crazy at the hospital, it was a little less crowded. He sat on a bench as he waited for the bus to go home, someone sitting next to him. The young man took out a cigaret from his pocket before looking at the person next to him. “Do you have a lighter?”

He could have very well been half asleep. Some part of his mind lingering in the unsettling limbo of nightmares and restlessness. The cold of the bench numbed his skin through layers of clothing and the street lights flickered above his head. Cars passed by, the headlights barely even triggering a tighter squeeze of heavy lids, as they rushed by and the tires left behind the echo of a more than familiar sound. He’d barely acknowledged the individual seated next to him. One hand dove into his pocket after a few seconds’ silence, and conjured up a lighter, soon handed over to the man wordlessly.

[asherjxhnson]

cassiemorgan:

Her eyes stayed glued to the glowing end of the cigarette until he came into focus instead, he was pretty but he was rough, a contradiction in a white shirt and jeans. She felt a sudden urge to know him, to figure out if he was as twisted as his image was, perhaps he was soft, or maybe he was harsh and solid. So far no information had been forthcoming, not even in his appearance, and there was a longing from Cassie to be so unreadable.

Cassie held eye contact with him, and with neither of them speaking it felt like a contest. As he smiled, eyes still glued to hers Cass felt like he was looking right through her, he’d see everything she’d ever done, everything she’d been ashamed of and every secret she’d kept. She was open and he was closed. She smiled slightly and looked to the side, feeling herself getting flustered even though the rational part of her screamed she was being silly. “So, uh.. which is yours?” She finally said, softly so not to break the calm that had surrounded their fire escape balcony. Cassie wanted to laugh, realising she sounded like a mum watching a football game from the bleachers, the person she’d promised never to be when she was a teenager. 

His breathing was even, the deep inhales almost too much than his lungs could take upon themselves to carry for a mere second, before the now used oxygen exited through widened nostrils, occasionally in the company of smoke. Another last drag of his cigarette, shrunken in its original length, before it dropped over the railing, his arm extending and fingers letting it follow gravity’s lead toward the street, a long way from where he sat. A brief stare cast downwards, elbows tight against the fabric of his old pair of jeans over his thighs, and the rhythm of his breathing returned, evenly paced, gradual.

“Which apartment?” The counter question had a genuine background, uncertain for a single moment as to what she’d inquired for him to share. A little piece of information, once might have easily figured out on their own. A nod upward, his eyes however, not trailing off once. “Just right above your place.” Or so he thought. Doubt cloaked his mind for the broken fragment of a second, but was dismissed with a silent sigh, a brush of breath against his chapped lips’ membrane, as his raspy voice’s echo dissolved into the night’s mysterious hum, surrounding them in the fresh air. 

[asherjxhnson]

           @phoebesmatthews

            The sky was dark and his eyelids heavy, with the dark circles drawn underneath bright azure eyes, marked by sleepless nights, leaving his mind no other option than to wander endlessly into the distorted realm of fatigue. Always on the run from the mundane, the ordinary and everything reminding him of how bleak the world could be. Preferences were set on the sight of a darkening horizon over an even space, through the windows and in the reflection of the red rays ricocheting from clear glass fronts and building façades. 

           His venture was a brief one, down a familiar path. It was just one of many rooftops. It was a place where his mind could melt into a pool of misery, where he could let sorrow swallow him up and devour him with great hunger. Sneaking up the staircase, until the heavy metal door came into sight. It was partially ajar, nothing more than a crack, to let some of the light of night time shine through and draw a faint shadow against the wall of the foreign building’s interior. His brows furrowed briefly, as a silent step took him further and the door was opened a crack. It screeched. Loud enough to inform whoever had decided to choose this rooftop as their night’s residence, of his likely unexpected arrival. One step out and a gentle breeze greeted him with a cold kiss, as azure irises wandered around restlessly, his vision blurring whenever they lingered on a spot for a little too long.

[asherjxhnson]

cassiemorgan:

Cassie stared silently, the slow empty moments dragging while she waited for him to explain. There was the obvious one of course, he lived next door or just above and for whatever reason had settled closer to her window than his own, but either way she still watched warily. The air was cold, goosebumps running along any trace of bare skin she allowed to be touched by the brisk Spring night. Her brows raised slightly at the offer, it shouldn’t have settled her fears but it did, and she reached out to take the cigarette. She’d had an on and off relationship with them for a while, but lately it has been on. Blame it on stress. She took a slow drag, sat back in her spot in the window and tucked her leg half out. Eyes focused on the sky as she blew away the smoke from her lungs, hazing the stars for a short second until they filtered back into view.

She inhaled a second time before holding it out for him to take back. Somehow, she couldn’t explain it but somehow she felt at ease despite being in the presence of a stranger. A constant mask had been taken off, falsity discarded for a minute, the hand wrapped around her waist loosened as she forgot to care what someone else thought of her. The darkness washed over her, she couldn’t be seen by many as in the light, just by this one whose eyes betrayed nothing. Empty, almost, yet Cassie believed they knew things she didn’t, knew things many didn’t. She thought she ought to say something, but felt lost for words in his company. Her mind rushed ideas through her, idle talk of weather or work, yet she had no interest in either. The silence was comfortable, like they both wanted it, needed a break from the continuous loud of a city that didn’t seem to sleep.

There was a soothing quality to the act of prying into the personal lives of strangers took his mind off his own existence’s misery. The cruel sting akin to the one of an angered wasp, pumping venom straight into the blood circulating in a system of vulnerable pipes buried beneath skin, pale in the night’s dimmed illumination. He would long to reside in somebody else’s skin, another body, another life to be lived unknowing of everything he’d been through. The unfortunate turn of events, shifting the tracks and altering the path one’s life would take by a single chance. It was a cruel dark stain, a deep shadow swallowing all light, cloaked around his heart, shining matte under a layer of rust. A deep inhale filled black lungs with some of the cold oxygen filling up the empty space of the world on the north side of the large sphere, serving as a spinning home for lost souls on their way to find a way to their so-called destination during their decades of a cruelly mortal existence.

He watched the smoke rise, a thick line of dissolving vapor winding in the air still for a moment in Mont Royal. Heavy eyelids told him to close them shut for a moment only, but he continued on with the struggle of forcing them to remain opened, and see the way she handed the burning cigarette back into a pair of fingers with rough skin. He swallowed away the bitter flavor, which coated his tongue. Eyes of cold blue looked at her undisguised, no veil pulled down as more smoke went straight into his lungs to work its lethal magic, before the faintest of smiles became visible, a shallow ghost, hovering over chapped lips.

[asherjxhnson]

TEXT -- KILLIAN

( IAN ): Nice. There's a game on tonight if you're interested?

( ASHER ): Anything is better than the shit my neighbor watches all night, to be honest.

[asherjxhnson]

TEXT -- KILLIAN

( IAN ): Yes, very tragic.

( IAN ): Drinks later?

( ASHER ): I'll be over later tonight, yeah.