Summary: A week after Odasaku's death, Dazai Osamu is left with his friend's last wish in the back of his mind and no way to start. Oda told him to be a "good person" but how does someone become one when they don't even know what the mere concept is? With no clue and no direction, the boy couldn't find an answer. If only his best friend was there to guide him, if only he didn't disappear completely.
That is until he realizes that he was wrong... that not every piece of Odasaku is gone from this world.
(Disclaimer: This story is set in a slight AU where Odasaku's death and other points in Dazai's childhood are moved up to when he is fifteen for plot purposes)
A03 Version
Wattpad Version
Tumblr Chapter List:
Chapter 1: “Just As Long As You Pull The Trigger”
Chapter 2: "I Could Go For Some Curry"
Chapter 3: "Looks Like You Can Make Those Expressions"
Chapter 4: "Makes Me Wanna Play Around With You"
Chapter 5: "Suddenly Dying Didn't Seem So Easy"
Chapter 6: "Why Don't We Go On A Date?"
Chapter 7: "As Long As I Have You In My Life"
Chapter 8: "I'll Be Here To Welcome You"
Chapter 9: "You Are Not A Good Man"
Chapter 10: "Maybe With You This Could Be Home."
Chapter 11: "Quit Trying To Be Odasaku"
Chapter 12: "The Scariest Thing Is To Be Perceived"
Chapter 13: "Celebrating Life Is Stupid"
Chapter 14: "He Doesn't Want To Be Saved"
Chapter 15: "She's Not Like You"
Chapter 16: "The Misfortune Of Being Dazai's Girlfriend."
Chapter 17: "Here To Save The Princess
Chapter 18: "Friends With A Freak Like You"
Chapter 19: "I Want To Be Your Entire World"
Chapter 20: "Let's Kiss And Find Out"
Chapter 21: "Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures"
Chapter 22: "Tonight You're An Honorary Flags"
Chapter 23: “Vulnerability Is A Death Sentence”
Chapter 24: "I'll Fight For You, Every Time"
Chapter 25: As Asa faces past trauma while being in the hospital, Dazai is there to make everything better. (Major fluff chapter cause I missed writing my depressed boy)
(I do upload here but I upload on A03 first so if you want to be the first people to read the newest updates following me on there is the best option)
I’m alive! Well, sorta. I want to apologize for ghosting this account for the longest time. These last couple years have been so extremely hard and I wanted to give you some insight now that I’m out of the situation..
Up until recently I lived in CA and worked at Disneyland full time with a bunch of roommates in one apartment. One of the roommates was always short on rent, utilities, you name it, and I soon found out that because we came in on a joint lease, everyone was liable to pick up the slack for him. So I spend the last couple years working my ass off to support not only me but this guy who decided when he was going to pay and when he wasn’t.
Finally, when the lease ended I moved out of state, to get away from it and with the hope of resetting my life that had been screwed for years.
But because of that I had to stop doing everything I loved for the sake of a paycheck. I had to quit my Vtubing career and writing simply because if it didn’t make me money, I couldn’t afford to spend time on it.
Yet I still hold these stories close to my heart and now that I’m out of that abusive apartment I want to continue my writing and joys, like Timeless.
I hope you’ll still follow me on this journey.
Love you all
AshleyH
(Speaking of that Roomate, a couple weeks after I left he used all my cards and accounts to pay his bills with my money so I had to get all new cards and put a police report on him…so yay.)
(PSA: This story contains an original character. That being said, it also has relationship building along with real life development and character studies. If that interests you please don’t let that deter you from reading. It’s worth it, I promise)
Chapter 23: "I'll Fight For You, Every Time"
Summary: Racing against the clock, Chuuya and a Odasaku's wounded little sister form an unlikely bond, as the ginger haired mafioso realizes that maybe having someone to fight for him wasn’t all bad after all. Meanwhile Dazai races to her side, terrified of being too late yet again to save the one person that meant his entire world.
Warnings: pm!sixteen year old chuuya, manipulation, small bit of stabbing, talks of Odasaku's death, grumpy angry chuuya for real here, chuuya is suffering and we all love it (poor boy), sad Chuuya, mentions of killing and assassins, murder, morally grey complex characters, self destruction, sad boy Dazai, traumatized Dazai, Mentions of Dazai's *cough cough* toxic hobbies like unaliving, lovesick Dazai.
(This is chapter twenty-four of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. I'll link the master list below so you can get the full story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)
Master List Here- To Start from Ch1 <3
A03 Here
Work Count: 7k
Chapter 24:
"I'll Fight For You, Always"
When Dazai arrived back to Japan after his grueling and closed off mission from the outside world, the boy had felt his mind clear of the unmistakable fog that had plagued his psyche ever since that drunk night.
Mori’s plan had worked, in a way.
The mission was designed for one thing, to keep him focused and occupied, to push away any semblance of thought of irreverent matters far down inside a box the boy could never reach.
It wasn’t new either.
He had used this tactic many times before, when life was a bit too hard, when he wanted to not think about his own inadiques and flaws.
When he wanted an escape because death wasn’t an option after a failed attempt.
In fact, the boss was the one that had first introduced the toxic coping mechanism to the boy, the first time it ever being used was when he found that Dazai had tried to shove a multitude of pills down his fifteen year old throat a couple days after he had met the struggling child.
Of course for Mori, Dazai dying would’ve disrupted his plans to be his only witness to the murder of the previous boss. So the man did everything he could to keep the boy alive.
And that’s how the submerged method of total and complete isolation from the problem became introduced.
And Dazai had taken to it quite well, all things considered. A perfectly crafted distraction always seemed to do the trick, and least for a little while. That, and it was also a win win for the boss as it caused his favorite demon prodigy to complete even the most complex and gruesomest of tasks in his name.
Dazai wasn’t an idiot though, he knew he was being used in some capacity for Mori’s sick and twisted plans for the mafia, but because it benefited him as well he never opposed to the idea, getting quite comfortable with the idea of forgetting and shoving the most unpressent stuff down in his chest to focus on a problems he could fix.
Because murder, torture, embazzelment, commiting the most huenius crimes known to man was far easier to stomach then the twisted uncertainly of life and his own feelings.
Dazai then sighed to himself, getting off the port mafia issued plane before stretching his limbs, the phantom blood on his hands from a couple hours before completely negating whatever issues he was having in the outside world.
He felt cleansed of it, still living in the haze, like a twisted baptism of his own humanity, lost in the mindset of the supposed demon prodigy and nothing like the weak boy that he hated named Dazai Osamu.
Yet, the second he turned his phone back on, it started to get bombarded by hundreds of missed calls, each of them lighting up his screen like a blatant alarm to his own dissociation.
That was weird. Sure, usually he got a couple missed messages but this?
This seemed excessive.
Frowning at the sight, Dazai tempted turning the phone back off to keep his placid and self induced calm before the object started to ring again, like it had sensed the heat between his palm.
And since the boy couldn’t resist the raising curiosity, he answered. “What?”
Almost immediately a very familiar voice echoed into his ears, bringing back the repressed memories in Bar Lupin every time he heard his voice.
Ango.
And he was livid. “Dazai! You better explain yourself right now before I send the entire government on the doors of the port mafia, and don’t think I’m kidding because I already have them lined up and waiting.”
Pausing in confusion, Dazai soaked in his strange words before replying. “Damn, that’s quite a threat, Ango. Any reason why you’re inciting war right now? And why you called me a million times? I’m a very busy man, you know.”
Ango was not having it though, considering he had been trying to reach the boy for the last three hours non stop. “Don’t play dumb with me. I know what you’re doing, where you are. And Dazai so god help me if anything happens to her I will..”
At that, Dazai’s eyes widened, his head snapping up with newfound seriousness as he felt his stomach start to drop. What did Ango just say? Surely he misheard. “Wait wait wait, back up. Happens to who? You’re not making sense there, Ango.”
Ango’s voice came back like a bullet, shocking the boy’s system and shattering the haze that he had so carefully cultivated with that mission. “Who else would I mean? Asagao! Her phone’s location is in port mafia territory.”
Suddenly, a blaze of red, a fiery auburn swept across his vision. Her haunting yet empty icy blue eyes with a hint of turquoise, the constellations of freckles across her skin.
Like a ghost, an apparition, everything came back full force, waking him from the dream of disillusion he was in.
Every uncertain and insecure feeling came pouring out of the box that he had shoved down into the abyss, the very idea of her consuming him completely like he had been pulled back under the water to drown with an anchor of pure iron.
Asagao.
Odasakus’s little sister, his Asagao.
He then mentally slapped himself immediately. No, not his. Why did he think that? He wiped the possessive thoughts from his mind to focus on the disturbing and horrifying facts.
She was in port mafia territory.
The most dangerous place for her in the entire world. No, that couldn’t be. She wouldn’t be there. She had no reason to be. Why would she go there when she knew the risks and the dangers?
Feeling all semblance of breath escape from his lungs, Dazai’s fingers clutched onto his phone impossibly tight, his knuckles turning white from the force as he managed to ask in a charged whisper. “What did you just say?”
Ango didn’t truly understand the danger though, still thinking his old friend was responsible. “Don’t act surprised. You’re the only one that would be twisted enough to take her there. Did you not listen to any of my warnings?”
Dazai felt his head spin, his mind filled with hundreds of possibilities and thoughts of what could be possibly happening to her inside the mafia. The air is silent, like noose around his neck.
But this time, the suffocation wasn’t welcome.
Because Ango was right. He would’ve brought her there if she was any other person. He wouldn’t have cared about her safety or the danger it posed. But she wasn’t just anyone, she was the most important person in this life.
She was his everything.
Knowing he had to say something, the boy slowly spoke, his voice strained on every syllable. “Ango..I haven’t been in port mafia territory. I was out of the country on a job. I didn’t take her there.”
The air turned silent again, causing the government agent to shutter a horrifying breath through the phone. “Then who…oh god, you don’t think Mori..”
Yet before he could finish, Dazai took off running, off the jet bridge of the private jet towards the territory of the port mafia, all logic and composure gone completely in place of an erratic heart and panicked breath.
Because if Mori had her, if he had somehow found out about her existence, about being a hellhound, an elite assassin, the last of her kind, Dazai would tear the entire world down to bring her back.
It was Odasaku’s wish after all, for her to never be involved in such a place but a part of him hated that the thought only briefly crossed his mind.
No, his best friend's promise was a mere flicker to his own all consuming thoughts and selfish desires.
His feet moved not because of his dead friends’ desires but his own. Maybe that showed how far gone the boy truly was for her but he didn’t have the time or the breath to care. No, he just needed to get to her, to make sure she was safe.
Barely hearing Ango voice through the phone he clutched in his hand, Dazai didn’t give a response, the sound muffled like it was underwater in his own ears. “Dazai? Hey, Dazai!”
Nothing mattered, nothing else but her.
After a couple minutes he seemed to register the voice before just barely ordering out for her sake. “Send me the location. I’m bringing her back.”
Hanging up the phone without another word, Dazai looked down at the phone waiting for the text only to see a message from Asagao herself at the bottom of Ango’s frantic ones, his reeling mind pausing for a moment before he opened it with shaking fingers.
From: Asa-chan
Miss you Samu. Come back soon.
The words on the screen, they were both a balm and venom to his soul, easing him and shaking him with dread in each syllable as Dazai took a shuddering breath, closing his eyes to put the phone up to his forehead and press it against the skin of his bandages.
And behind his eyelids, memories, horrible memories and feelings crashed into him, of Odasaku’s lifeless eyes, of him reaching out to him and only catching air, of being too late to save the one person that mattered to him in the world.
No.
She would be safe. She had to be.
Dazai wasn’t a positive kid but for once in his life he clung to naive optimism, to the hope that his desire for her to be unscathed would be enough to make it true. Because for him, there was no other option.
To be left alone, to not see her again, to be too late like last time..
The doubt started to creep in once more before Dazai’s phone buzzed with the location Ango had before he shook the negative from his mind in order to keep running once more.
He would not lose her like Odasaku, he would not fail her like he did to his best friend.
Dazai couldn't be too late again, he just..couldn’t.
Time moved impossibly slow as Chuuya tried to take in the surroundings around him. His ears were ringing with the residue of the earlier panic from his own insecurities as the world continued to turn regardless.
His senses then awakened little by little, noticing the tiny details first. The brisk chill in the air from the air conditioning vents next to him, the sound of an ongoing fight somewhere below him, and the sight of red, an unmistakable auburn in front of him as she guarded his body and heart from harm.
Feeling the dryness of his mouth, the boy’s gaze then flickered down to the crimson reminder slowly painting her side and soaking her white shirt.
That’s right. She was stabbed.
She willingly got stabbed in order to protect him.
Even after he yelled at her, pushed her away and said the cruelest things to her. Even though he self destructed beyond repair and sent her running like everyone else in his life, she was still here.
What an idiot. An absolute, self proclaimed idiot. He didn’t deserve that.
And the things she just said, how’d she’d protect him, didn’t she have any self respect? Why didn’t she run away like everyone else? Why was she still standing in front of him with a bloody side, proclaiming to earn his friendship?
Shirase on the other hand looked both parts annoyed and confused by the declaration, not knowing who this girl was that had suddenly appeared like magic between their personal matters. “Protected? By who, a little girl like you? Don’t make me laugh. Stay out of this before you get yourself killed.”
Asa only narrowed her eyes though, not moving an inch. “You heard me. If you want to get to him, you’ll have to go through me.”
The old Sheep member blinked in disbelief at her audacity before his lips curved into a cruel smile, taking a step forward to answer her challenge. Obviously not taking her seriously. “Alright, I can arrange that..”
Racing forward towards the two, Chuuya’s eyes widened, sensing the impending danger as he willed his muscles to move out of their stunned state. “A-Asa..”
But before he could finish her name, Asagao easily dodged Shirase’s sloppy punch, grabbing his arm before kicking the boy in the stomach forcibly causing him to gasp and wheeze out a breath of surprise before crumbling to his hands and knees, not expecting such a heavy hit.
Yet that was the flaw with Shirase, always arrogant but always biting off more than he could chew. Not that he’d ever admit that himself of course.
Gritting his teeth in frustration, the boy then swiped the discarded knife from the ground that he brought to stab Chuuya before swinging it upwards with speed towards Asagao’s neck only for her to quickly grab his wrist before he was able to hit skin.
And with the blade inches from the neck, Shirase tried to push it closer only for Asa to use her own strength to keep it in the same exact position as the boy cursed. “You little..you don't know what you’re dealing with.”
Leaning closer, Shirase then gazed at her wounded side before he resorted to his most coveted skill, brushing against her ear as he whispered cruelly. “Give it up girl, that blade you stupidity stood in front of and got stabbed with was laced with rat poison. You have about ten minutes before you’re done for, so I’d just give up..”
He hoped the shock would be enough for her strength to diminish even slightly in order to shove the blade fully into the neck and be done with it. Being faced with the idea of death was shocking for anyone, especially one with a time limit like her.
Yet that’s when he heard the auburn haired girl..laugh?
The sound was jarring in itself, causing the boy to snap his head back to look at her only to find her smiling and laughing at his suggestion like he hadn’t just played the part of her grim reaper. It was kind of unnerving.
Smiling a bit wider, her lips then turned predatory before leaning closer to him, her voice confident and cocky. “Bold of you to assume I need ten minutes to beat you.”
And just like that, the trick he had attempted to use on this small girl had backfired, ricocheted in his face as he felt his own hand loosen in surprise and shock and her statement.
This girl, she had used his own cheat against him.
Asagao then smirked, sensing his loss on the blade before she fully pulled the sharp edge away from her neck, twisting his wrist in an unnatural direction as Shirase yelped and dropped the blade onto the floor unwillingly and kicked him down.
Watching his defeat on the floor for a moment, how he pathetically stayed on his hands and knees like a coward, Asa then turned back to Chuuya before giving him an unbothered smile like nothing had happened.
And Chuuya was stunned, looking down at the defeated and humiliated Shirase before turning back to her. He was so angry at her. So incredibly angry that she did something so stupid, so moronic like put herself in front of a blade for him.
Yet, when he spoke there was no anger to be found. “You’re..such an idiot.”
Asa only smiled at that, used to the insult. “Funny, I’ve been told that before.”
Shaking his head in exasperation, normally Chuuya would’ve found her response an annoyance, but given the circumstance, he felt his eyes soften with newfound vulunabitly. What was this stupid ass girl doing to him?
She was getting under his skin like no one had done before.
The two then paused when they heard Shirase’s voice ring out through the entire space, laced with hate and disdain as he struggled back to his feet from Asa’s beating. “All of you, eliminate Chuuya. I want him dead!”
Chuuya and Asagao then look down at the remaining GCC members as they all turn towards the gingered haired boy, taking the order to kill Chuuya to heart as they start to move all at once as the boy cursed. “Shit..they’re serious about this..”
Shirase watched the sight with sick amusement, his voice boarding on manic as he clung to the railing to watch his enemies' demise. “What are you going to do now, little girl? Think you can take on my whole army just to save worthless little Chuuya?”
Frowning at his words, Chuuya then looked down at the impending fight, his knuckles white from how tightly he was clenching his fists.
He wanted to tell Asagao to run, to let him handle it like he always does but the words didn't come as he glared at the incoming armed GSS members.
Yet that’s when Asa simply reached her hands up before wrapping her fingers around the large round framed glasses on her face before pulling them down and lifting them out to Chuuya. “Chu Chu, hold these for me please.”
The boy looked down at the carefully folded glasses in confusion, his hands reaching up to take them with a mutter. “What are you doing?”
The girl only smiles though, keeping her eyes closed as she turns back to Shirase. “I know they make you uncomfortable so you don’t have to look.”
Then, ever so slowly the girl opens her eyes as Shirase’s entire face turns pale at the sight, the dead, lifeless, hollow emptiness of them seeping into the kid’s soul and making him shutter almost instantly.
Taking a step back, Shirase’s voice trembles. “W-What..you’re a..a..”
Yet she only stood still, watching the boy’s reaction as he gazed upon something from his nightmares, something that caused his entire body to shake and tremble just from the very sight. She was aware of what he wanted to say, what he thought she was.
And Asa couldn’t deny it either. That word, that singular word that she had tried to run from, she knew it fit her better then she ever wanted it to. It was the perfect word for her, for a girl who felt nothing about death, who could pull the trigger on thousands of innocent lives and never spare a single thought.
But maybe if it could help Chuuya, if it could save his life, maybe admitting it now wasn’t so bad. Because if this was the only thing she could do for him, the only thing she could be that would benefit him in any way, then so be it.
Parting her lips, she then finished her thought for him, speaking the forbidden words she always denied in order to make them true for the sake of the boy in front of her. “A monster? Yeah, I suppose so.”
Using her time stop ability, Asagao then disappeared from the railing completely before Chuuya blinked to see her on the bottom floor, ready to face a horde of fully armed soldiers just for his sake.
He watched the way the men tensed at the sight of her eyes, the same way he reacted when he first saw them. How they trembled, how they clutched their weapons a bit together and gazed at her like some sort of unchained beast or a demon.
Lifting her hand towards the men, Asa’s voice turned mocking. “I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again. You want to get to Chuuya? Then you’ll have to get through me. Now, who's first?”
The air turns silent, no one moving as she then glances at the clock, counting the minutes in her head.
Shirase said she had ten minutes before the rat poison took effect and shut down her body. Two minutes had passed since then which meant she had had eight minutes to take these guys down before she was in trouble.
And yes, to a normal person that would be more than mildly concerning, but to Asa it made her lips curve into a devious smile of anticipation, already feeling the slight spark of adrenaline coating her veins and making her hands twitch.
Challenge accepted.
Then without waiting for the men to act first, Asagao raced towards the group, her analytical eyes catching everyone of their movements as she worked on disarming and taking down them one at a time.
The nearby Flags all felt their mouths drop at her boldness, seeing her fearlessly dive into an uneven fight as Albatross whistled and gripped his machete tighter. “Damn, look at little Red go! Come on, we can’t let her do all the work!”
Lippman smiles at the idea, reaching into his jacket before pulling out two machine pistols to join the fray. “I agree, let’s be the handsome knights and help our princess out!’
Piano Man nodded in agreement, unwinding the lethal wire from his weapon before giving the group the signal to charge forward. “Yes, let’s show the kid why we’re one of the most lethal groups in the port mafia. For Chuuya.”
Albatross cheers, swinging his machete up as he shouts. “For Chuuya!”
The group agreed as they broke through the chaos only for Chuuya himself to look down at the clashing of weapons and sounds of gunfire with stunned silence.
Not just Asa but everyone, they were fighting for him. Risking their lives just for him.
It was almost too good to be true, like some sort of dream or illusion. But it was a real, it was happening right before his eyes.
No more was he alone, fighting in the woods all by himself, screaming for help to no avail. No longer was he mentally and physically slumped against the edge of that cliff and bleeding out from his own failures.
He had finally found it, a family.
Someone to care about him.
Someone that would fight for him no matter what.
Raising her head, Asa then looked up at Chuuya from above before lifting her hand out of him, a cheerful tone in her voice even though she was in the middle of a fight. “Hey Chu Chu! Come on down here. I wanna see how you fight! Let’s take them together!”
And normally he’d dismiss such a request, normally he’d shrug it off. But somehow, he found himself using his gravity manipulation to stop off the balcony and land right next to her, the red glow around him a sign of his intent.
Asagao’s smile widens at the sight, turning back to the men before the two kids leap into action together, their movements both lethal and precise as they start to take down the GSS one by one.
Together.
And as he throws punches and dodges, he can’t help but notice how in control Asagao is in her fight, how she seems to be able to predict her enemies next movement like nothing. It was incredibly scary but now that he looked at it up close he couldn’t help but admire it too. She truly was a one woman army, a force to be reckoned with.
Chuuya then paused when he felt a fist come towards him while he was watching the girl, cursing as he put his hand up to block only to feel another hand grip his wrist firmly as the boy watched the man’s punch slow down to an unanimated halt.
His brows screwed in confusion, snapping his head to the owner of the hand only to find Asagao smiling at him.
Wait, she used her time stop ability on him? That’s why he didn’t get punched.
Watching, the girl then winked at him before pulling his body with her quickly, her steps moving him to the back of the armed men and letting go as Chuuya watched the world reanimate and the man throw a punch to nothing but air.
He stood stunned at the action, slowly realizing the power Asagao held within her ability. Sure, he knew she was strong, he knew that her time stop ability was terrifying in its own right but seeing it from an outside perspective and seeing it used firsthand was something else entirely.
So much so, Chuuya looked down at his hand before an amused smile crossed his lips. He was never one for partners or teammates before. He was never one for relieving on another to sink or swim but her ability, together it felt powerful and new.
Snapping his hand up, the boy jumped back into the fight, swinging and kicking and using his gravity ability like before, except when Asagao lifted out of her hand to him, this time he took it.
He took it every single time.
And as the fight went on, the two started to become more in sync with each other. He felt his body move towards hers, using her time stop ability in tandem with his gravity ability to disappear and reappear in and out of reality with her help.
The two were unstoppable, in a way he never imagined before, leaning on each other and using their own strengths to negate their weaknesses. He had never relied on anyone before but relying on her, it felt nice.
Meanwhile, Asa was having the time of her life, the drug of the fight coursing through her as her lips turned more and more dark, a sharp laugh escaping her lips as she tore through the men to knock them unconscious.
This is what she was made for after all, what she was conditioned to do, what her trainers and the leaders of the hellhound assassin organization made her into, a weapon of unspeakable force, and every second she could feel the programming coursing through her veins.
The desire to destroy, to tear apart everything around her and take joy in it. To allow the drug of her own adrenaline to seep into her skin and make her absolutely unstoppable.
Her mind was blurred, tunneled into nothing but fighting.
Analyzing the situation around her, she allowed her eyes to take in every detail, every sight and sound and smell of the entire space to catalog it and use it to her own advantage
Everything was so loud and so quiet all at once, willing her to keep moving, to keep going until all of them were down and out of the way.
Giving another sharp laugh, Asa vaguely felt her internal organs start to shut down from the poison coursing through her system before quickly glancing to the clock and continuing the minutes.
Three minutes left before her body gave out.
And quite honestly, she probably should’ve slowed down, should’ve stopped her body from moving so much so the wound didn’t open any further but that thought was far in the back of her mind, overtaken by her engrained function to fight, by the drug of her own psyche.
She knew once her body slowed it would be over, so she made sure to give one hell of a fight before then.
Chuuya’s safety was paramount.
Iceman watched the fight through his own battle, gaging the animalistic way she moved, the hurricane of force she was before he felt his blood run cold as she wiped her head to the side and he saw a small tattoo on the back of her neck.
No, not a tattoo.
The color and the lines were different. It wasn’t painted ink on the skin.
No, it was embedded into the skin.
It was a brand.
A brand with the letter H curved in tiny markings, like someone had sheared the iron tip to the girl's skin.
The assassin stared at the small symbol with disbelief, knowing exactly where it had come from.
Sure, not many knew of the marks given that it was a lost organization but for a hitman like Iceman, he had seen that brand on the necks of a couple people in his time, all of them on mindless killing machines without the capacity of emotion.
Snapping his head back up to Asa to see her fight, Iceman’s mind started to connect the pieces. The familiar brutalistic way she was fighting, her dull corpse-like eyes, the way she was tearing through the men with a sick twisted smile on her face..he had seen it before, in an organization that he thought was lost completely.
One he had hoped was lost anyway.
There was no mistaking it. That brand, her fighting, he knew immediately. “Hellhound..”
But as he continued to watch her, it wasn’t the violence that made him continue to stare but rather, her restraint.
Because every hellhound he had met in this life never had a lick of restraint. They killed with no mercy, no emotion and no understanding. They were more like attack dogs than anything, taking in the words of their masters and following them with no question.
Assassins like them, they didn’t know how to stop, nor did they want to in any capacity.
But watching Asagao, from an outside perspective it looked like she was out of control, some sort of unleashed monster that couldn’t control their own actions and maybe that was true to some extent.
Yet he had known hellhounds before and she..she was not acting like one.
These men, she wasn’t killing any of them even when she so clearly could. If anything, she seemed to be playing around with them rather than finding the shortest way to end the fight once and for all.
Which wasn’t like the normal attack dog she should’ve been.
That’s when he noticed her shaking hand, controlled with speechless restraint for her true desires, her true programming. It was probably taking everything within her not to just massacree everything in her path and yet she was holding so strong.
And Iceman couldn’t help but be in awe of it. To see one without a master, without orders and yet able to hold onto their own mind and desires in the way that she did.
It was nearly impossible, and yet here she was all the same.
So much so the man could help but think back to their conversation earlier tonight. He was right, she had killed before. She probably had killed hundreds of times before but right now, now she was choosing not to.
And that was absolutely astonishing in every way imaginable.
A hellhound that didn’t kill. How odd that was.
As the minutes ticked down, Asa felt her body betray her more and more as she fought through to the inevitable shut down she would face once she stopped moving, everyone else obvious to the internal danger inside her own veins.
And when the last armed man fell, her wild eyes snapped up to look around the room for more threats only to be met with silence. They had done it, they had taken down the entire GSS force on their own.
Chuuya huffed out a breath, still riding the high from the fight as he glanced at Asa with an amused smile for their unexpected partnership. He couldn’t believe how well they worked together, how impressive her ability matched with hers.
Feeling his heart pound with empowering adrenaline, he then watched as Asa turned to him with a similar smile before speaking softly. “Did we do it? There’s no more?”
Nodding back, the boy answered with pride. “Yeah, we did it.”
He then watched as the girl’s shoulders slumped with relief, the adrenaline slowly draining from her body as her hands began to tremble as her sides.”Ah, good..”
Chuuya noticed the shake right away, his eyes turning in concern before he watched the seemingly indestructible Asagao fall to her knees before crumbling to the side as her body hit the floor right before his eyes.
The sight caused the boy’s world to completely freeze, a gasp of horror in his chest as he raced towards her, falling to his knees to meet her as he rolled her body so she was laying on her back. “A-Asagao?! What the hell...what’s wrong..?”
Letting out a slight laugh turned wheeze she looked up at him with hazy eyes, her skin turning deathly pale by the second. “H-Hey..this is awkward huh? Seems like that blade had..rat poison on it..haha..funny right?”
At her words, Chuuya’s eyes widened with horror. Rat poison? She was poisoned this entire time and still fought like that?
He was on the edge of being livid for her stupid decision and terrified for what it meant. “A-And you didn’t say anything?!”
Asa gave another weak laugh at that. “I didn’t wanna kill the vibe, you know? This is kinda a downer..am I right…? Besides, I was super cool back there, wasn’t I?”
Letting out a choked breath, Chuuya’s hands fell to the ground as he soaked in her words. She didn’t want to bring down the vibe? She was poisoned and she didn’t say anything because it would’ve been what? An inconvenience?
Damn it, why wasn’t she more selfish?
The ginger boy then shook his head before answering back, his voice wavering with unkempt emotion. “You idiot..yeah you were really cool..but that doesn’t mean you can die on me either..”
Asa smiled at that, her response less strong than before, like she was fading out of consciousness by the second. “Ah, I wouldn’t dare..that would really kill the vibe for sure..besides…I haven’t earned the title..of being your friend yet..”
At that, his heart twisted with an ugly sense of reality and guilt. That’s all she cared about? Being his friend? Damn it, he wrote her off so easily before, called her a psycho and freak when all she wanted was something so simple, so god damn simple, and he couldn’t even give her that.
He was an idiot, a goddamn idiot. She didn’t have to come here tonight, she didn’t have to help him when he asked her and all she asked for in exchange was for his friendship. It was so childish, so like her.
Standing in front of a blade, hiding evidence just so she could spend more time with him, Chuuya started to realize the extent of how far she would go just to not be lonely anymore.
No, it wasn’t just that.
It showed how far she would go for him .
He was so selfish, thinking of his own past and insecurities, thinking she was going to betray him and make fun of him like Dazai, like everyone else in his life.
But now he saw her, he saw the extent of her heart.
Damn it, he felt like the worst person in the entire world, watching the consequences of his own actions. “You..you didn’t have to earn anything..I was being an ass before..”
It was foolish really, to think she had to earn anything, especially anything to do with him. He had hurt her so badly earlier, saying that no one would ever love her truly.
Fuck, she even said it herself that she didn’t believe it was possible for her to be loved, didn’t she? And instead of denying it he had fed her mind into thinking it was really true.
He was then broken out of his own self loathing when he saw Asagao’s eyes start to flutter closed, causing the boy to immediately panic and shake her shoulders.
No, this couldn’t be happening. “H-Hey..hey hey hey no no don’t you dare do that. Wake up. You better fucking wake up or I’m gonna kick your ass. You hear me? You didn’t have to earn my friendship, you don’t have to earn anything. Just don’t…please don’t…”
Seeing her grow paler by the second, Chuuya felt absolutely useless, his hands shaking as he pleaded in his mind for her to wake up, to be okay, to piss him off a million times more.
He had to tell her that they were friends, best friends.
That her one foolish and singular wish had come true.
Just then, the doors to the room burst open, causing Chuuya’s head to snap up only to lock eyes with a very familiar head of messy brown hair, the boy’s unbandaged eye wild and erratic as he entered the space.
And for the first time in his life, Chuuya was glad he had appeared. “Dazai..”
Dazai’s shoulders tensed at the scene, immediately locking onto the scene before him before running as fast as he could to kneel beside the pale Asagao. “A-Asa..? No no no Asa..”
With trembling hands he reached for her body only to pull away and find blood on his palm from the wound in her side as Dazai felt his heart shatter inside his chest, a sick sense of deja vu crashing into him like a tidal wave of destruction.
Odasaku!
He heard a voice, a memory of his past self, screaming a name, doing the same motions as before, the past and the present mixing together.
Don’t go, please..!
His voice again, another memory, another stab to his chest. Panic coursed through his veins, suffocating him, making it hard to breathe, to see, to think.
You can’t, not like this..
It was the same, the blood on his palms, just like Odasaku, she was laying the same way, oh god she was bleeding just like him. She was going to..going to…
Yet that’s when he heard her voice, her beautiful, breathtaking voice break through his spiral as he gasped and immediately locked eyes with her hollow ones. “S-Samu..?”
Almost immediately, he clung to her, like the lifeline she was to him. “Y-Yeah, It’s me. Hey, love.”
She smiled weakly in response, looking up at him before speaking above a whisper. “You’re back.”
Nodding in reply, Dazai forced a smile to his own lips, not wanting to worry her with his own unraveling. “Y-Yeah I’m back..I came back..”
He then felt her fragile fingers reach for the hem of his mafia jacket, grabbing it with as much strength she could muster before she spoke, soft and sweet. “I missed you.”
Widening his eyes, Dazai looked down at the sight before he felt his heart squeeze inside him to a painful level. She always knew how to make him unravel, whether she realized it or not. “M-Me too, love. I missed you too.”
Asa then seemed to notice the distress on his face, her hand reaching up before lightly pressing it against the bandages of his eye, careful not to touch the skin which only made him crumble more with how considerate she was, even now.
Brushing her fingers across the gauze, she looked up at him with apology. “I’m sorry Samu..I’m probably bringing up some bad..memories for you..like this..huh?”
Dazai inhaled sharply at that. She was right, the way she was positioned, the blood on his palms, even the placement of his hand was bringing back awful memories of the moment he watched his best friend die.
And looking at her like this, it felt like he was watching another Oda disappear from him before his very eyes.
So he chose not to answer her question, shaking his head with a gentle hush. “I..that doesn’t matter..don’t speak..save your energy.”
Asa seemed to notice the inner emotions of his words though, she always did, her hand brushing against his bandaged eye again before forcing her voice to come out stronger. “It’s okay Samu..I’m not gonna die...I’ve been trained..to detox poison..fast..that’s why I..took the hit..for Chu Chu..”
She was trying to reassure him. This girl, she had poison in her system, she was probably bleeding out and all she thought about was him. It made Dazai whimper in reminder of how perfect, how selfless she truly was.
Always thinking about him, about that slug, but never herself.
Asagao’s lips then curved into a gentle smile once more before he felt her hand move from the safety of the gauze on his eye to his cheek, touching the skin and making his body shutter at the intimate foreign feeling.
Locking eyes with him, she finished gently. “...I won’t leave you alone. Promise.”
Dazai’s breath hitched at that, hearing exactly what he needed to in that moment as his own hand reached up and gently wrapped around her wrist, anchoring him to her both mentally and physically.
Then closing his eyes, he locked her words away deep within himself, willing them to be true, because he knew he would be broken if they weren’t. “I’ll hold you to that.”
Nodding in response, Asa’s eyes then fluttered once more. “I’m gonna...rest now..don’t freak out..I’m okay..”
A sharp sense of fear coursed through him at the action but he nodded regardless, trusting her promise to be okay, to not leave him in this horrible awful world alone. “Y-Yeah, okay, love. Get some rest..”
Sensing he wasn’t going to panic, Asagao’s hand grew limp in his hold, her head lulling to the side as she finally fell unconscious, Dazai’s fingers feeling her pulse for a reminder of her promise before he gently placed her arm back onto her chest.
The boy then turned silent, looking down at her, his body moving on his own as he leaned forward, over her before pressing a soft light kiss on her forehead, so gentle, like a butterflies wing or a whisper of a breeze, but it was there all the same.
To him it was a gesture, a thank you for being alive, for not being too late.
And for Chuuya watching, the mafioso couldn’t help but widen his eyes. He had never seen Dazai be so kind, so gentle before. Asagao said that their relationship was only in name but looking at his partner now, it certainly didn’t look like that was true.
Because right now, Dazai was gazing at Asa like she was the most precious thing in the entire universe.
Although that’s when the bandaged boy slowly stood up before turning to Chuuya, his eyes void of any of the care he showed previously, knowing that his partner was the one that had put her in this kind of danger. “Take her.”
The executive's voice was so cold and icy like a lethal venom as Chuuya felt his nerves bunch up with guilt for his actions. “W-What?”
Dazai only narrowed his eyes though, clearly not in the mood for explanations. “Take her. She needs to go to the hospital. You brought her here, you’ll make sure she’s safe. Or else.”
His words weren't a suggestion or an ask. No, they were a threat, a statement of absolute truth. Chuuya was going to help Asagao, he was going to make up for his mistake or else there would be hell to pay.
And though it seemed like Dazai wanted to say much more to the kid, it was obvious Asa’s well being was top priority, causing Chuuya to gently pick up Asagao in his arms without complaint. “What are you going to do?”
The demon prodigy then reached for his gun, taking it out as he held it by its side, his voice void of any feeling before pointing it towards the unconscious men that Chuuya and Asa had fought. “Go.”
Tightening his hold of Asa in his arms, Chuuya got the message immediately.
Dazai was going to kill all of the men, all of the people that had dared to point a gun at her. And though he wanted to argue, the boy knew that Dazai’s wraith could not be quelled so easily.
So Chuuya went off running, crandling Asa in his arms as he heard the lingering gun shots with each step, hoping and praying for her to hang on.
(PSA: This story contains an original character. That being said, it also has relationship building along with real life development and character studies. If that interests you please don’t let that deter you from reading. It’s worth it, I promise)
Chapter 23: "Vulnerability is a Death Sentence"
Summary: As Odasaku's little sister helps out with the Flags mission, and Chuuya has to form an unwillingly partnership with her, where he finds out perhaps she's not exactly heartless like Dazai after all. In fact, they may be more similar then they originally though. But for a boy like Chuuya who has only known betrayal, trusting another would seem impossible.
(This chapter is for the Chuuya stans. I hope I represented you well 🫡)
Warnings: pm!sixteen year old chuuya, manipulation, small bit of stabbing, talks of Odasaku's death, grumpy angry chuuya for real here, chuuya is suffering and we all love it (poor boy), distrustful Chuuya, mentions of killing and assassins, murder, morally grey complex characters, self destruction.
(This is chapter twenty-three of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. I'll link the master list below so you can get the full story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)
Master List Here- To Start from Ch1 <3
A03 Here
Work Count: 10k
Chapter 23:
"Vulnerability is a Death Sentence"
(One Year Ago)
Chuuya: Age Fifteen
Soul Searching.
That’s what Shirase, a member of the Sheep said, that they did some “soul searching” before he plunged a rat poison soaked knife into Chuuya’s side with the intent of murder. The very organization that those kids called their leader, their King, betrayed him without a second thought.
All because of one job he did with their enemies, the port mafia.
He managed to get away, clutching his side as he pulled the knife free from his body before leaning his head against the bottom of the cliff in shame and internal pain.
Hearing the faint shouts of a kid he used to trust with his life command to go after him, Chuuya closed his eyes, willing away the reality of the situation. “Go get him right out! He may be weakened by the poison but it won’t be enough to kill him! Finish the job!”
Shirase. He could hear the anger, the disgust in his voice even from here. His own army, his makeshift family he thought he had, treating him like an enemy.
The deception was still fresh on his tongue, cutting through his soul with his own self shame. Why the hell did he even trust them to begin with? The people that took him in and gave him a makeshift home, they tore it out from under him without a second thought.
Perhaps he deserved it, perhaps this was always going to be the outcome. Chuuya allowed the toxic idea to play inside his mind and torment him, making the wound to his side hurt more with each self-deprecating thought.
They saw him as weak, as disposable, and maybe he was. For a boy with no memory before the age of seven, a boy that couldn’t even dream or understand such simple concepts like bread without being taught, a boy that didn’t even know if he was human..
Maybe he deserved this.
And yet he fought, he screamed and yelled with all his might against the idea because the reality of any of that being true was something that Chuuya could not accept.
They wanted to dispose of him? Then they’d have a hell of a fight.
And then, like a nightmare, he appeared.
Dazai Osamu.
A devil in sheep's clothing, a demon in the form of man, acting like some sort of savior even though he was the one that set everything up from the beginning. He planted the seeds of doubt into the Sheep, he was the one that caused all of this to turn into motion.
A joke, a goddamn joke, that’s what he felt like, a pawn in a game he didn’t even know he was playing. He was always a joke, first with The Sheep and now with the Demon Prodigy.
That bastard, he hated him more than anything, but he had no choice, he had to reach out his hand to the boy, for that was his only option, and from the sick grin on his lips, Dazai knew that too.
Easily manipulated. Easily played.
Dazai hummed absentmindedly, his eyes sharp like a hawk. “You know, now that the GSS and the Sheep have formed an alliance, we have to shut them down. If I do my job, by noon today they’ll all be dead.”
Widening his eyes, Chuuya immediately felt his ability activate, the red glow around him an ominous promise. “You’d really hurt all those kids?”
What a goddamn idiot he thought himself to be. They had just outwardly expressed their desire to murder him and yet the idea of all those kids being massacred by the port mafia’s hands left him with a feeling he couldn’t bear.
He felt pathetic, utterly pathetic as Dazai shrugged at the idea of killing kids. “Our policy never changes. That said, if someone on my team made that suggestion for me not to go through with it, I would take that under advisement.”
And there it was, like a pit in his stomach, the final piece, the checkmate.
A hot ball of anger coursed through Chuuya’s throat as it all became clear. So that’s how it is. It was all for this moment.
So he could be manipulated to join the port mafia.
Narrowing his eyes at the banaged bastard, Chuuya weighed his options, the ones he knew he didn’t actually have. He wanted so badly to tell Dazai and those port mafia bastards to shove it. He wanted to not play into their hands just for the sole purpose of proving something.
But somewhere deep down he knew he couldn’t. Although The Sheep had abandoned him, left him for dead, he still didn’t have the heart to turn the other cheek while the port mafia murdered them all.
He cursed himself for not being as heartless as Dazai, for not allowing himself to just say screw them and die as a giant middle finger to their efforts.
But whether human or not, whether a blessing or a curse, he couldn’t do it. “Just don’t kill the children.”
Lifting his head, Chuuya sealed his fate, but with that came a deep rooted distrust that he would hold deep for the rest of his life.
He would not allow himself to be played in such a way again, he would not let his heart be laid open only for people like the Demon Prodigy to crush it between his fingers.
That’s right, he would fight and scream and curse but he would never trust again.
Because who would want to even care for something like him? Surely they would all lie, like Dazai, and like the Sheep.
No, he’d never fall for it again.
That damn son of a bitch, if that’s how you want to play it. I’m in.
-----
(Present Day)
Shoving his hands in his pockets, Chuuya made his way down the dark Yokohama streets as he shook away bad memories he would like to forget. They needed to focus. Someone was murdering port mafia members and it was their job to stop it. That’s all that mattered now.
He then glanced behind him only to mentally groan at the reminder of Dazai’s girlfriend following behind them, a slight skip to her step like she was going to a colorful kids birthday party and not a possible murder scene.
That girl, he couldn’t get over her, she was a certified nutcase. He didn’t trust her, not one bit. He had learned better after all, ready for her to stab him in the back at any second of the day. A means to an end, that’s what he has to keep telling himself.
He’d use her and then he’d never see her again.
Besides, what the hell was she talking about, wanting to be his friend so badly? There’s no way he’d want someone certifiably insane like her so close. That was a death sentence waiting to happen. She was playing him, she had to be.
There was no way she was actually serious about such a ridiculous thing.
Meanwhile, Iceman was having another problem, the man not having broken his eyes from the small auburn haired dorky looking girl since they left the base. There was still something about her he didn’t like, and although she hid it well, he was going to find out soon enough.
Because if she was a threat to his colleagues then he would do something about it.
And that was a promise.
He then paused when Asagao’s voice rang out next to him, a calm smile on her lips. “Iceman, right? I can see why they call you that. I can feel the cold chill from here haha.”
The man narrows his eyes before replying. “You knew I was watching you..”
Asa shrugs her shoulders. “A bit yeah. Am I really that fascinating?”
She downplayed it but her response only made him even more suspicious. He was being subtle about profiling her and yet she noticed so quickly. She was smarter than she led on, and that was a dangerous sentiment.
Iceman frowns at the idea. “You’re hiding something and I’m gonna find out what it is.”
He watched her reaction, to see him there is any unease there but she simply laughs, like it’s a funny joke. “Ah, well aren’t we all hiding something? I mean you’re an assassin right? I bet you got all sorts of skeletons in your closet, yeah?”
She wasn’t denying it, How odd. “I suppose.”
Asagao smiles at that, nodding in step with him. “I knew it! I bet you have a lot of nasty kills under your belt huh?”
Iceman raises an eye at that. “You don’t seem bothered by that..”
Asa laughs in reply. “Why should I be? It’s just your job.”
The man paused at the notion. While yes that’s true, the idea that this sixteen year old kid was just laughing off the idea of murder was not normal. Usually someone would steer away from those kinds of topics but not only was she encouraging it, she was bringing it up.
Tilting her head, the kid pauses in naive confusion. “Hm? Did I say something wrong?”
Iceman then took a breath before approaching the topic carefully. “Not many young girls have that kind of mindset, not many people for that matter. You’re not disturbed at all at the idea of me being an assassin?”
Asagao turns silent for a moment, her eyes screwing together in a complex thought like she couldn’t understand his words. “Mm they don’t? How odd. I don’t see why it would disturb them. It’s just orders after all. You get told what target to kill and then you do it? Seems simple to me.”
Iceman stops walking at that, his eyes widening in shock at what she casually just said. “Just orders? I’m taking people’s lives.”
She only nods in reply, not understanding the gravity of the situation at all. “Yeah, I know that. But it’s nothing personal. Just orders. An indifference.”
An indifference? Was she serious? Perhaps in simple terms it was that black and white but nothing was that simple. He may be an assassin but the act of ending another person wasn’t anything like she was saying.
Yes he had orders and yes he carried them out but with each life there was a sort of guilt, the humanity in him, never able to fully detach from the depravity from the action. He did it anyway but to be completely void of emotion when pulling that trigger, that was a kind of heartlessness he wasn’t able to achieve.
Regardless of who they were or how evil or innocent they were, they were still people and ignoring that felt like a disservice to the trigger he pulled each and every time. Killing was anything but simple, and yet she was speaking about it like she was talking about the weather.
Just who in the hell was this kid that Chuuya found?
Iceman then felt his next words form without permission. “You’ve killed before.”
It was a statement, something he had no proof of and yet somehow wholeheartedly believed. The assassin in him was screaming it from the very depths of his lungs. This little girl had seen darkness, and perhaps had also created it as well.
Asagao pauses at that, looking back at where Iceman had stopped walking, a look in her eyes under the dorky glasses she wears that is absolutely unreadable. She doesn’t answer his question but she doesn’t need to, the way the air shifts is enough of an answer in itself.
Something hidden behind those glasses, something lurking just under the happy go lucky persona she puts on for everyone else. Iceman could see it, better than anyone else.
A thinly veiled danger under the surface.
He opened his mouth to confront it when Chuuya’s phone rings, causing everyone to turn to look only to watch the young ginger boy's face grow pale before hanging up and shouting. “That was Doc, he said to hurry to the wharf, there was an ambush regarding the jewel trade!”
That caused everyone to immediately pick up the pace, forgetting any previous conversation as they rushed to the scene only for Chuuya to see Asagao bumping into random people due to their retreating figures and her unreliable off prescription glasses.
Oh for the love of..
Groaning in annoyance, the boy doubled back before grabbing her hand to pull her along with them. She was such a pain the ass, unable to not be a disaster without his help all the damn time. “We don’t have time for this, let’s go!”
Asa squeaks as Chuuya pulls her along the streets of Yokohama, trying to keep up with him as she silently thanks the boy for not leaving her to get lost by herself.
They reach the wharf in record time, as they see Doc is waiting for them outside the large warehouse doors, eying Asa with interest. “Oh? Who’s the new kid?”
Chuuya brushes the introduction away though. “Not important, what happened?”
Doc then glances inside before leaning against the warehouse doors. “See for yourself, but I’d brace yourself. It isn’t pretty, even for me.”
Pushing open the warehouse doors, the Flags all freeze at the sight before them. Bodies, dozens of dead bodies face down on the cold cement floor, all of them lower level port mafia members.
The smell of iron is prevalent, causing Chuuya to clench his fists. No one dares speak, all of them too stunned by the scene to say anything.
All of them, except Asa that is, the girl not having the same reaction in the silentest as she whistles. “Damn, someone got busy in here.That’s gotta be like two dozen bodies.”
Everyone blinks in disbelief before turning to Asagao only to find her completely unbothered by the marassace. In fact, she seemed almost, impressed? But that couldn't be. This was a horrible horrific scene, who would be impressed by this?
Asagao seemed to notice the staring, pausing as she looked behind her in confusion before turning back to them. “What? What are you staring at?”
They all turn to each other again silently. Did she seriously not think anything was wrong with her reaction? Nothing at all? They couldn’t believe it.
Chuuya groans, walking past the psychotic girl with a mutter. “Ignore her, she’s fucking insane. We have to figure out who did this.”
Shaking out of their thoughts, the Flags nod before stepping inside the warehouse for clues, Iceman watching Asa very carefully as she casually strolls through the bodies like she was taking a walk through a park or something.
It was like she had no reaction to death at all, like she didn’t possess it. How strange.
Asagao looks down at the bodies carefully, cataloging the manner of their death before she hums. “These kills are personal. Stab wounds, choking, they wanted it to hurt. Hey guys, what kinda enemies do you have around here?”
The girl then notices something next to the body and slips it into her pocket with a hum.
Lippman only snorts though. “What kind of enemies don’t we have, princess? The list is pretty long.”
Chuuya nods. “Yeah, saying it was personally against the port mafia doesn’t mean much. We piss a lot of people off.”
They remain quiet at the idea. It was true, someone attacking the mafia was dumb but not unheard of. Mori screwed over a lot of people and many wanted revenge for their misdeeds, but still, something seemed wrong about this to Chuuya.
They were targeting the jewel trade now, and that was his division.
Somehow, this felt personal.
They all pause when they hear Albatross’ voice. “Hey guys, I think I found something. Come over here!”
The group follows the call over to a body in the corner only for the man to hold up a piece of paper. “This was in this guy's pocket. It looks to be an address, written hastily like it was in the middle of the attack.”
Piano Man takes the small piece of paper and sure enough, it was an address, barely legible, with blood around the edges like the man was bleeding out when he wrote it. “You think this guy was giving us a lead?”
Chuuya frowns at the sight though,it seemed too easy. “I don’t trust it. It could be a trap.”
Asagao then peeks over the boy’s shoulder though, humming in interest. “But that’s part of the fun, isn’t it? A high stakes mission that could be a trap in the end! Oh, my blood’s pumping just thinking about it!”
Turning around, Chuuya glares in her direction. She was way too happy about possibly walking to their deaths by following this note. “Could you stop being so damn giddy about this? This isn’t a game, it’s serious..”
She pouts in response as Albatross laughs, resting his arms on Asa’s head. “Oh come on Chu Chu , I agree with her. We should go see what this place is about.”
Chuuya hisses in response. “I told you to stop calling me that stupid nickname..”
Piano Man only puts his hand up though to stop the bickering. “I know it’s risky but it’s the only lead we have. I say we follow it, especially if our colleague gave his life to tell us this. It would be a disservice not to at least see what it is.”
Everyone then turns to the dead body before coming to an agreement. If this low leveled mafioso wrote them this note in his last moments alive then they had to see it through it.
The group then starts filtering out of the warehouse, Asagao turning around happily to start her first true mafioso mission when she spots Chuuya as he leans down over the dead body of the man that wrote the note before he gently closes the man's eyes so they are peacefully shut.
Blinking in confusion, Asa steps towards the boy. “Why did you do that?”
Chuuya only scoffs though, looking down at the man before muttering. “Thanking him for his service to the port mafia.”
But Asagao frowns in response, her brain not connecting the sentiment. “What’s the point? He’s already dead.”
Glaring in her direction, Chuuya gets up from his knee before walking over to her, disgust in his eyes. How could she be so heartless? “But he was human.”
Then the boy pauses, seeing the disconnect in her eyes, like she couldn't understand a simple thing like empathy for the dead.
And she couldn’t. For Asagao, she had been raised as an assassin with an assassin mindset. She pulled the trigger hundreds of times and disconnected the emotions that came with such an action time and time again, so much so her view on death was never quite right.
But she never noticed it, not until she saw the way Chuuya looked at her like she was crazy, like she was doing something wrong. So much so, she wanted to poke him more about the topic.
Yet before she could, he had already walked away, leaving her confused and bothered as she looked at the man’s dead body and felt nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Just like when she tried to think about her brother, it was that same empty feeling.
That hole inside her soul, like something had been carved out, something was missing from her humanity. Death, was it supposed to feel a certain way? Was something wrong with her?
Whirling around she calls after the boy. “Chuuya..”
He pauses at the sound of her voice, hearing the slight desperate edge of it, something he had never associated with her before. So much so, he thought it was a trick.
Turning around against his will, the kid waits for her to speak.
Asagao remains silent for a moment, her hands tensing into a ball, unsure how to approach such a sensitive topic for her before she asks. “How..how does death feel?”
And that was something Chuuya certainly didn’t expect, his eyes rising with confusion and slight annoyance as he tried to process her words. “What kind of question is that?”
His voice was sharp, accusatory, causing Asa to internally recoil a bit before pointing to the dead man with even more uncertainty. “I..I don’t know. I just..you look at this man and you feel something, right?”
The girl needed to know, she needed to see if she was just imagining it or if there truly was something she was missing. Because if Chuuya felt that same empty hole that she did when she looked at that dead man, then why did he gently close his lifeless eyes and call him human?
Asagao didn’t understand.
Chuuya frowns even more at her odd question, glancing at the low leveled grunt before turning back to her. Sure, he didn’t know the guy personally but he had given his life in the name of the port mafia, exactly like he would’ve done. They were unnamed comrades whether he liked it or not.
So of course he’d care.
But that had always been who he was, Chuuya closing his eyes for a moment as he recalls sacrificing himself to the port mafia last year in exchange to save the Sheep’s lives even though those kids had actively tried to kill him.
Pulling the trigger, ending a life, it was still something the mafioso found hard.
So of course he cared about this unnamed dead man, enough to respect him and his sacrifice for the mafia that is. But didn’t everyone feel that way?
Scoffing at her question, the boy opened his eyes to look at her again, accusatory. “Yeah. Don’t you?”
But his words were like a bullet through Asagao’s chest. He said it like it was a matter of fact, that it was second nature to do something so meaningful for the dead, like looking at this dead body was obviously supposed to invoke something inside her.
And yet, she felt nothing.
Her hellhound assassin training, it had shifted something she didn’t even know.
Not until now.
A horrible thought then crossed her mind. If Dazai died would she look at his body with this same empty void? Would she look at his corpse and feel absolutely nothing as well? She couldn’t bear the thought, given that he was the most precious thing in her life.
But then again, the memory of Oda was precious to her as well and she didn’t connect to that either in any capacity. Her heart dropped at the realization that maybe this went further than just not knowing him personally. Maybe there truly was an unbalance.
How cruel of her for not having such an emotion everyone else seemed to possess.
Closing her fists even tighter to turn white, Asa felt her tongue run dry. She wanted to tell him the truth to tell him that something was wrong with her, that she was broken or defective but the words didn’t come.
Fear of judgment, fear of being looked at like a monster seeps in before she can even stop it. She wanted him to be her friend but surely he wouldn’t want her if she was an unfeeling monster, unable to process or understand the sentiment of death or killing.
And even though she was wearing her glasses to blur her vision, she couldn’t help but remember Chuuya’s hatred when she looked at him previously without them. No, that couldn’t happen again, she didn’t want to see it.
How vulnerable she truly was.
So instead, Asagao then closed her eyes for a moment before forcing a smile onto her lips to skip past Chuuya and lock down her insecurities. “Whaaa? What kind of question is that? Of course I do. Just wanted to get on the same page. Now, let’s catch up with the others! We got a lead to follow!”
Then she races out of the warehouse, not looking at the dozens of bodies as she goes, not because she couldn’t bear to see them..
But because she didn’t want Chuuya to know how broken she truly was.
——-
They group arrived at the large unassuming high rise building that had the same location as the note the dead mafioso had in his pocket before they snuck around the back and immediately thought of a plan.
Having no idea what they were going to walk in on, any solution was going to be risky but this was the best shot they had in order to find out who was really killing port mafia members so brutally.
Piano Man hums before whispering low. “Alright, first things first, before we do anything we’re gonna have to find a way to disable the security systems so we can walk around a bit more freely.”
Asa then raises her hand, waving it around like an excited toddler. “Oh, me! Pick me, I can do it!”
The group turns to her, some skeptical, some amused as Lippman chuckles. “You sure, princess? This is a pretty risky job.”
She only nods though, eager and ready as she bounces on the heels of her feet. “Yes, I can do it! I promise, I’ll disable those security systems super fast, you can count on me!”
Chuuya raises an eye in concern before all the other Flags look at him and he sighs. She was crazy but he’s seen how convincing she can be, so he vouches for her. “Yeah, she probably can do it.”
Asagao then claps her hands in joy. “Yay, thank you Chu Chu!”
But the ginger then raises a hand to stop her from getting too excited. “Don’t thank me,I still don’t trust you. So you’ll be wearing a wire to make sure you don’t do anything dumb.”
She doesn’t seem to mind though, taking the suggestion in stride. “Oooh a wire? It’s like a real life spy mission! Alright I’m game!”
Chuuya then groans before gesturing to the others as they fit her with the wire, Asagao humming happily as they do so.
Albatross can’t help but chuckle. “Hey kid, you seem really excited about this but be careful, yeah? We wouldn’t want you to get stabbed or poisoned or anything haha.”
The girl gives him a thumbs up in response. “No worries! My body detoxes poison pretty fast anyways so I’m good!”
Pausing for a moment, the mafioso then bursts out laughing, ruffling her hair with affection. “Oh I like you! You’re so interesting Asa. I never know what you’re gonna say next, it’s great!”
Asagao laughs as well, beaming at the compliment, which is strange for her since usually people don’t take to her odd mannerisms very well. Well, everyone except Dazai. He was always the expectation.
Once they are done with the wire, Asa spins around in joy before puffing her cheeks out cutely to hype herself up for the upcoming undercover mission they assigned her on.
She then takes in a breath before reaching for her clothes and ripping them in various places before she turns to Chuuya with a smile. “Chu Chu, punch me!”
And the boy freezes, his jaw dropping open in shock. “The hell?”
Asa nods before pointing to her eye. “You heard me, it’s for the mission. Punch me.”
But as much as he hated her, punching a girl like her, especially Dazai’s girlfriend, was certainly something that wasn’t on his list. “I’m not punching you.”
Asa only whines though, taking a step closer. “Come onnn Chu Chu, you know you wanna. I’m giving you a free shot.”
His eyes can’t help but twitch at the nickname. “Don’t call me that, damn it. I’m not punching you.”
Humming softly, the auburn girl then pauses before smiling again. “That’s fine, you probably can’t reach my face anyway since you’re so short . Samu would be able to reach, too bad he’s not here.”
Almost immediately, Chuuya felt his anger spike at being called short. This little bitch was egging him on, how dare she. “Cut it out, it’s not gonna work.”
Asa doesn’t cut it out though, continuing her condescending tone. “Mmm cut what out? I’m just saying you’re too short to reach my eye. It’s true isn’t it?”
And hook line and sinker, her words triggered an automatic response in Chuuya, one that was learned by him the day that he met that stupid mackerel Dazai. She wanted him to hit her? Then to hell with it.
Lifting his fist, Asa then smirks before quickly taking off her glasses and closing her eyes as he punches her in the eye, relatively hard as she stumbles back and the other Flags catch her.
Seething, the boy then pulls back his hand, taking a breath and waiting for her regret only for Asagao to jump back up, wiping a bit of blood from her nose and she laughs maniacally. “Ah, that’s what I’m talking about! You didn't hold back either, good job Chu Chu!”
He just eyes her, blinking with disbelief. “You're not normal.”
Waving the comment away, Asa smiles, putting her glasses back on to her forming black eye. “Ha ha yeah, I get that a lot. Alright, time to disable those security systems, watch me work my magic!”
Then she disappears from around the building, causing all the Flags to watch her with silent amusement as Lippman chuckles under his breath. “Hey Chuuya, is she always like this?”
Looking down at his knuckles where he punched her, the boy then groans before closing his eyes, utterly exhausted.
“Unfortunately.”
——
Slipping to the front of the building, Asagao then takes in a breath before mentally preparing herself to get to work. They were all listening to her through the wire, after all. She had to impress them.
She gives one last look at her torn dress and black eye before racing up to the doors of the building, rushing in as she falls onto the floor with a sob and a panicked breath. She ignores the men reaching for their weapons.
Show time.
Looking up with pleading eyes, Asa cries. “H-Help..please help me. I’m being chased. I..they robbed me. I don’t know what to do. I need help. They took my phone.”
She sniffles pathetically, playing up the “hurt child” angle as the security guard looks down at her with suspicion before asking. “How old are you, kid?”
Asa whimpers in reply. “I’m...sixteen. Just turned sixteen. Please sir, I’m scared..”
Grabbing onto his shirt with shaking fingers, she looks up at him, giving her best doe eyes, blinking back tears as the officer looks at her black eye and softens.
Got him.
The man then gently takes her hand before helping her off the floor. “Come on. You said you lost your phone right? You can borrow ours. We have one in the security room.”
Nodding in reply, Asa cries even louder, visually thankful as she reaches forward and hugs the officer with her small shaking arms. “O-Oh thank you thank you thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
The officer chuckles at her vulnerable display, softening even more as Asa silently pickpockets his keys and puts them in her pocket before he pulls away, none the wiser. “It’s alright kid, come on. Let’s go call the police and then your parents.”
She nods and follows the man into the building, silently taking note of all the security cameras and sensors in the area as they enter the small security room with cameras lining the walls. There are a couple men in there, surveying the scene.
The officer walks over to the phone and puts it up to his ear, ready to dial as Asa speaks again. “Hey mister? I’m really sorry about this. No hard feelings, okay?”
Lifting his head from the phone, the man then raises an eye before Asa grabs his head and slams it into the security desk as everyone jumps back, another man reaching for a button on a console before she smirks. “I don’t think so.”
She then uses her time stop ability, the world turns to a standstill as she quickly moves throughout the room, using her five seconds to grab the man’s face and slam it into the desk as well before turning it off and moving to the side.
The guard just barely sees his friend fall unconscious before Asa does the same, stopping time to kick the man’s legs out from underneath him and putting her hands around his unassuming neck, squeezing just enough so that even when she starts time he falls unconscious as well.
And then the room is quiet, Asagao humming absentmindedly as she steps over the unconscious men in order to sit in the spinning chair by the desk, grab the donut the security guard was eating before pushing a button and disabling all the security cameras. “Done.”
Spinning around a couple times in the chair, the girl then casually gets up before glancing at the unconscious guards and taking a bite of the donut with a smirk.
“Like I said, no hard feelings.”
——
Chuuya sighs, tapping his foot impatiently as the team waits for her to return. They heard her little act through the wire and though it was quite scary how she could switch up so quickly, they all couldn't help but be impressed.
Her cries, whimpers and pleas, they all seemed so real. She even willingly got Chuuya to punch her in the eye and ripped her clothes to truly make it look like she was a damsel in distress.
They then watch in awe as the small red light of the security camera across from their hiding spot turns dark, signaling that the systems were disabled. She did it, Asagao managed to complete the job. In record time too.
It made the Flags wonder just who the real Asagao was if she was able to fool and manipulate the guards that easily. Did that also mean that the happy go lucky childlike personality they saw all night was also fake? Many weren’t sure if they wanted to truly find out.
Piano Man is the first to speak, glancing to the annoyed ginger. “Hey Chuuya, where did you pick her up again?”
The Flags all nod, wondering the same thing as Chuuya pinches the tip of his nose in the start of a headache. “It doesn’t matter, she’s a friend of that bandaged bastard Dazai. That’s all.”
Lippman raises an eye at that. “Dazai? Ah, well that explains it. This definitely isn’t the princess' first rodeo then. I’m impressed.”
Albatross laughs. “Yeah, if she really gets those results maybe should keep her, right Iceman?”
The assassin stays quiet but narrows his eyes at the idea, not liking it when Chuuya cuts him off harshly. “Oh hell no. We are not asking her to join us. If I have to be around her everyday I’m going to lose my mind!”
The group only laughs at the kid’s misfortune as a hot ball of anger courses through him. They were treating this like all some kind of sick joke but the idea of Dazai’s crazy ass girlfriend joining them on more missions was anything but funny.
She was good, yeah, he didn’t deny that. She was damn good at deceiving people and tearing them apart but she was also unpredictable, without a semblance of a normal thought. The Flags had seen a little taste of her insanity but Chuuya had seen way worse. These guys didn’t know who they were dealing with, that’s for sure.
But he had first hand experience, remembering how she willingly played damsel in distress just for the sole purpose of playing with him and getting him to agree to the stupid ass “Chu Chu” nickname.
She was unpredictable, in the worst way possible and he wanted nothing to do with it after tonight, that was for sure.
That, and Dazai would never allow it either way, considering his ass was super paranoid about her joining the mafia for some reason. But that was besides the point, he didn’t want her anyways.
Albatross only snickers though. “Sounds like Chuuya is intimidated by a little girl.”
Feeling his shoulders coil tense as the Flags continued to tease him about the girl, Chuuya felt his fists ball in irritation. They had no idea, no fucking idea how easily it would be for Asa to stab them in the back.
Hell, she probably was planning it already. But unlike last year with the Flags he was smart. He wasn’t going to fall for it. This whole friendship ploy from her, it was all one big joke. He knew it.
Chuuya would not let her sneak up on him, he would not be that vulnerable again.
Turning to the group, the boy glared. “Hey, I’m not intimidated! And I mean it! Don’t even think about letting her join. This isn’t some kind of funny joke. I’m not going to let that little brat walk all over me!”
Yet that’s when they all hear her voice, directly behind Chuuya, appearing out of seemingly nowhere as she giggles, feeling her breath on his neck and the scent of vanilla from her shampoo. “Hii I’m back!”
Chuuya immediately feels his soul leave his body, jumping back with wide eyes, his heart hammering in his chest as a small shout of fear escapes his lips, Asa scaring the absolute shit out of him. “What the fuck?!”
And there she is, standing innocently behind him with that same small smile on her lips, her hands lifting out in defense as The Flags burst out in a loud boisterous laughter and their half dead friend clinging for breath from her sudden appearance.
Albatross has to hold his knees to contain his chuckles as he wipes a tear from his eye. “Oh, that was too good! Red, you’re amazing. Poor Chuuya’s soul left his body!”
But Chuuya’s face only turned bright red in embarrassment, recovering from his panic before feeling it switch to livid anger. “W-What, what the hell is wrong with you?! Where did you come from?!”
Asagao doesn’t react to his anger, seemingly turning her head cutely. “Hm? Oh, I used my ability to get here faster. Sorry Chu Chu, did I scare you? I just got excited hehe!”
The boy’s eye twitches at that, resisting the urge to strangle her. She was clearly making fun of him, unbelievable. “You and your damn time stop ability, it pisses me off. And no, I wasn’t scared. Shut up.”
Strolling up to him, Lippman only smirks though, putting an arm around his shoulder. “Come on man, let’s be honest. You totally were scared of this little cutie. Speaking of which, that’s quite a magic trick you got there princess. I’m impressed.”
Piano Man nods, a small smile on his lips: “He’s right. You even managed to disable all the security systems. Good job, kid.”
Asagao widened her eyes at that, jumping forward at the praise, like she hadn’t heard it very often for her skill. “Really? I did a good job?”
Piano Man only laughs though his eyes softening as he gently pats her head. “Yeah kid, you did good. Now we can go into the building undetected. Come on guys, time to figure out who’s behind this.”
They all nod, walking in through the back door as Chuuya slumps behind, still pissed off and embarrassed about the fact that she was able to sneak up on him so easily. If she wanted to she could’ve slit his throat right then and there.
Asa glances behind her though, noticing his distress and turning around to meet him in order to reach out to grab his hand before the boy immediately recoils, slapping the gesture away and walking past her. “Don’t touch me. Let’s just get this over with so I don’t have to see you again.”
He didn’t trust her, no way in hell. Especially not after that little stunt of hers.
It was a defense mechanism, learned from a life of being betrayed, a life of being played and toyed with more times then he could count. This gesture of reassurance, it was also fake. It had to be.
But the real truth was, Chuuya felt vulnerable right now, given that he was able to be bested so easily. He didn’t like it, it made his defenses go up ten fold. He felt weak, and that was a death sentence in itself. She’d see it and take advantage of it.
So much so, he didn’t even look back to see the effect of his careless words as he simply moved forward to try to forget about her.
No, he couldn’t be vulnerable with her. She’d stab him in the back.
If he showed her his heart, surely she’d carve it up.
——
As the group moved through the building, they pause at a records room, glancing at the door before Asagao takes out the keys she pickpocketed from the security guard earlier to open the door as the others stand in awe.
Lippman beams, strolling inside the dark room. “Whoa princess, remind me to always have you on our team. You’re a force to be reckoned with.”
But this time, Asa doesn’t answer, seemingly zoned out as Albatross puts a hand to her head to bring her back to reality. “What’s wrong, Red? Why the long face?”
Snapping back, the girl then blinks before forcing a smile to her lips. “Oh,it’s nothing. It’s just..I think Chu Chu hates me.”
The two men then look at each other before Lippman smiles. “Nah princess, he’s always like that. Chuuya’s a guarded guy. Pretty rough around the edges. I’m sure he doesn’t hate a cutie like you.”
Albatross nods. “Yeah Red, you should just talk to him. He’ll tell you the truth.”
The two then walk to the other side of the room to start going through the records as Asagao’s eyes shift to Chuuya’s form a couple feet away. Everything about him screamed unapproachable but she never did listen to such cue’s, walking over to him tentatively.
She settles next to him, starting to look through the files before taking a breath. “Hey Chu Chu? I just wanted to apologize.”
Chuuya pauses his fingers before continuing to look through the files, a scowl on his face. The last thing he wanted right now was to deal with her. “For what?”
He hears her pause for a second before speaking softly. “For everything I guess. I keep making you mad. Then again, that’s not really new for me…”
She trails off and Chuuya stays silent. She sounded so..sad? But he knew better to believe that. He knew how quickly she could change her personality to fit the situation.
Scoffing, the boy replied sharply. “Yeah, you piss me off.”
Asagao gives a sad laugh at that. “Yeah, that sounds right. I alway go too far.”
There’s a small bit of silence between them before she continues. “It’s just..when Samu told me about you I really wanted to meet you.”
Chuuya frowns at that, finally turning his head to look at her in skepticism, seeing her eyes cast down to the files infront of her in some sort of defeat. Why did she look so pathetic and small right now? He didn’t like it.
Speaking, he frowns. “Why the hell would you want to meet me?”
Her eyes soften at that, a hint of vulnerability in them. “I just thought that if you handle Samu, then maybe..maybe you’d want to be friends with me too.”
Chuuya couldn’t help but stop what he was doing, hearing her statement before his frown became more prevalent. Why in the hell would he want another mini Dazai running around him? Her logic was screwed up.
But before he could answer, she continued. “I know I’m not exactly..easy to get along with. Not many people stick around because I always manage to make them hate me some way or another. But..I really didn’t want that to happen with you Chuuya.”
Her hands then tighten on the files as a bitter chuckle escaped her lips. “But maybe I’m just being selfish, thinking about what I want rather than what you want. Maybe that’s why I’ve been so alone this whole time.”
Processing the words, Chuuya narrowed his eyes. What was she talking about? As far as he’s seen she was anything but alone. “Alone? You have that idiot boyfriend of yours.”
And as much as the boy hated Dazai with his entire being, he couldn’t deny that Asagao and that bandaged bastard fit well together. Like a match made in hell.
Although that’s when Asa gives a small chuckle, casually saying. “Ah well you see..Samu’s only my boyfriend in name. That’s all.”
The words hit him like a strike of lightning, his fingers immediately freezing from whatever he was looking at in order to turn and face her. He heard that wrong right? The way those two were all over each other the last time he saw them, there was no way that was fake.
She was messing with him, she had to be. “In name? You two aren’t really dating?”
But Asagao only shook her head in reply, a smile on her lips that didn’t seem fully genuine.”No, it’s not like that. We’re just using each other to get what we want, that’s all.”
What kind of fucked up reasoning was that? Using them to get what they want? What kind of screwed up relationship did she actually have with Dazai then? “You can’t be serious..”
Asa then turned to him, finally lifting her head for the first time during the conversation, a resigned look in her eyes . “I am. We’re not like that. I just have something he needs and he has something I need, that’s all it is to it.”
This sent Chuuya’s head reeling. None of it made any goddamn sense in the slightest. “So, you haven’t like kissed or anything? It’s just transactional?”
Yet at the word “kissed” Asagao’s eyes widen as her entire face turns red and she shifts her head down to look back at the files, recalling the memory she was trying to forget of Samu and her kissing while they were drunk. “I..well…that doesn’t matter, it still doesn't mean anything. Nothing has changed between us. It’s still transactional.”
But her response only made Chuuya even more confused. “Wait, you have kissed?”
Burying her face into the files in embarrassment for her burning cheeks, Asa stuttered. “S-So what? It was just a test, it didn’t mean anything. Not to him anyways. So it’s fine..”
Chuuya deadpans. “But it meant something to you obviously.”
Asagao then closes her eyes before covering her face with her hands.She really didn’t want to talk about this, especially since she wasn’t sure herself what it meant. “I…it doesn’t matter. He doesn't feel that way about me. I’m happy just the way we are, I couldn’t ask for more. Besides, even if it was..that way, there’s no way he’d like me like that so it’s fine.”
And that pissed Chuuya off. What the hell was this self deprecating thought process she had all of a sudden? She was always so sure of herself to a fault and now it was completely different. He didn’t like it.
Taking a step closer to her, the boy glares. “Why the hell not? You may be insufferable but if anyone could handle you it would be that shitty Dazai.”
He believed that with his whole heart. Yes, she was batshit insane but so was Dazai. He knew that kid for a whole ass year, knew him like the back of his hand and if that suicidal bastard was going to date anyone it would be Asagao.
But it seemed like the girl herself didn’t see that, her fingers moving to her skirt to nervously play with a hem as her eyes softened to a level of raw emotion he had never seen before from her. “I just…”
Her voice trails off but Chuuya doesn't allow her to drop the topic. “What?”
The silence is heavy, coating the entire room before Asa gives a tiny pathetic chuckle under her breath before finally speaking softly. “That emotion, I don’t think I’m made for that kind of thing, that’s all.”
Her words caused Chuuya to immediately widen his eyes as a pit dropped inside his stomach. Not made for what? Care, compassion, love? Did she truly think that?
And the first thought was for him to believe that she was lying, that she was giving him this whole sad sob story to let his guard down but the look in her eyes, that couldn’t be faked, or at least it was damn hard to do.
So much so, his voice echoed in the same whisper tone. “You don’t think you can be loved..?”
She doesn’t answer, she doesn’t have to, because the silence was answer enough as she bows her head in resignation before continuing to look through the files like she hadn’t just answered the most heart wrenching question of all.
Did she truly believe she couldn’t be loved, by anyone, by even Dazai? Chuuya could hardly believe it. What a sad horrible belief she held inside her. He wondered why she thought that was the case?
Sure, she was hard to manage and had a tendency to piss him off more times then not but to say that she would never be loved by anyone ever was taking it a bit too far. “Why?”
The word is simple, but held a thousand questions, a thousand thoughts and a thousand feelings. He needed to know, he felt like he won’t be able to breathe without knowing why she hates herself so much.
Yet inside Asagao’s head, her mind turns with every negative thought she could possess. She remembers how she looked at those dead bodies earlier with no emotion, how she never says the right thing and mixes up her emotions because she was never taught how to process them correctly.
She remembers the orders she received as an assassin when she was five, how she pulled that trigger a million times without even thinking about closing the corpses eyes like Chuuya had done in that warehouse. How could she possibly be worthy of love when she was missing basic human compassion?
How could she be held by Osamu and voice her feelings for him when she had trampled on the lives of thousands of people like nothing? Even her own brother, she couldn’t feel a speck of grief for him even though she had heard so many stories from Dazai.
There was something wrong with her, deeply deeply wrong. How could she be worthy to be loved when no one had ever stuck around long then day unless it was out of obligations or some sort of transactional means?
Taking a shaky breath, Asagao then closes her eyes before speaking, just barely above a whisper. “How can I when I don't even know if I’m fully human..”
And the words hit him immediately, Chuuya’ heart stopping inside his chest. Human. She didn’t think she was human..just like him.
Fuck, what was she doing, voicing his internal thoughts and spitting them back out to him like it was nothing? The idea of being a robot, the feeling of being this monster that wasn’t worthy of the simple concept of love.
He felt exactly the same way.
Because Chuuya didn’t feel human, not in the slightest. He didn’t dream, he had little memory to understand and hold close. How dare she say that, she had no fucking idea what it was like to have this void inside his chest, this black hole that could never be filled no matter how desperately he wanted it to be.
But the more he looked at her, the more he saw the pain and the regret in her eyes. She hid it well, behind those large round glasses of hers. A wall of protection, of witty comments and manipulative ideas.
But in this moment of silence, he couldn't help but see a reflection of himself.
And he absolutely hated it.
There was no way. She was supposed to like Dazai, she was supposed to be evil and cruel, recognizing her flaws and yet not caring about them in any way shape or form. That’s what she displayed usually.
But the Asagao he was looking at now, it was different. More solemn and pensive, like she was lost in her thoughts and drowning in her hidden feelings. It was supposed to be black and white, and yet now he saw the grey.
The messy, uncertain grey.
So much so, the words slipped out before he could process them. “Me either.”
Almost immediately, he shuts his lips again, panic on his face. Why did he say that? Why did he give her a weakness so easily? She was going to use it now, she was going to take it and throw it back in his face to destroy him.
Yet the more he looked at her shocked expression, a small bit of hope unwillingly crept it. Maybe she did truly understand the complex feelings he was carrying alone.
Perhaps she was more like him than he originally thought.
It was something he didn’t even humor until now. But could it finally be? Was there someone that was uncertain about their humanity like he was? Could he finally confide in someone with his darkest fears? He didn’t know.
But the possibility was there, and it was both incredibly scary yet comforting at the same exact time. She was dangerous, he shouldn’t be humoring the thought and yet he can’t help it, having been so alone his entire life.
He opened his mouth to speak again when the Flags cut through the space, their voices breaking the tension in the air as Albatross spoke. “Hey guys, I found something! It’s a file laying out the assassinations of those port mafia members from earlier.”
The two kids immediately turn to him before walking over to look at the file and sure enough there it was, a fully laid out plan of the murders they had stumbled upon just hours prior. Whoever these people were, they were certainly involved.
Chuuya finishes reading the file before grumbling. “It’s a start but there’s nothing in here to suggest who it was. We’re back to square one, just fucking great.”
Although that’s when Asa takes a look at Chuuya's discouraged expression and reaches into her pocket with a giddy smile, aiming to make him feel better. “Aw don’t be sad Chu Chu. The murders were done by the GSS.”
The air immediately turned silent, all of them turning to Asa as she stands there unbothered, like she hadn’t just solved the case they had been spending all night breaking into this building and trying to figure out.
Piano Man takes a step closer to her, cautious. “And how do you know that, kid?”
Asa then pulls something out of her pocket to hand to Chuuya as he stares at the object with disbelief and shock. In his palm was a bullet shell, monogrammed with the initials GSS on them.
Holy shit.
But the GSS were supposed to be wiped out by Dazai’s crew after he joined the mafia. Did some survive somehow, and now they were taking revenge on the port mafia for the attempted genocide?
Snapping his head to Asagao, he closed his hand around the bullet shell before taking a step closer to her, his voice laced with a million emotions. “Where..where the hell did you get this?”
Asa only hums though, glancing to the shell before pointing behind her. “Oh, the warehouse. It was next to one of the bodies.”
…the warehouse? But that was hours ago. That was before they found the lead to bring them to this building. Ever so slowly, Chuuya’s disbelief starts to turn to anger.
You’ve got be kidding me, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. She was hiding this the entire time?! Why, to play around with them?! To watch them run around like headless chickens trying to solve a case that was already figured out?!
Feeling his voice raise, Chuuya shouted. “What?! And you didn’t tell us?! Why?!
Asa didn’t seem to expect his anger, putting her hands up with defense as she took a step back with a nervous chuckle. “Ah, well..I was going to, but then our mission would’ve been over, and I wanted to spend more time with you. We were having fun, weren’t we?”
Having fun? Having fun?! Chuuya was livid. “Having fun..this isn’t a goddamn game! This could’ve been done hours ago and yet you withheld information just so we could..hang out?! You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. People could’ve died while you were fucking around!”
His words were sharp and lethal like venom, causing Asa to begin to realize her logic wasn’t exactly right and she tries to defend herself. “I..I mean yeah but..no one died. Come on Chu Chu, I thought we were really bonding back there for a second..”
Bonding? That’s why she drew this out, so she could bond with him? That had to be the absolute worst reasoning he had ever heard of. This wasn’t some summer camp where they made friendship bracelets and bonded over a campfire, this was a real mafia mission and she was treating it like a goddamn joke!
Then Chuuya recalls the moment they shared right before this. Fuck, she knows his fear about not being human. He let his stupid tongue slip and now she was going to betray him. That’s always how it went.
What was wrong with him? Why did he open up to her?
It bit him in the ass as always.
She reaches a hand out but he slaps it away fuming. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! We weren't bonding, no way in hell. I only brought you here because I had to, not because I wanted to and you treated this like it was all some goddamn joke. I knew this was a bad idea, I knew having a psychopath on this job like you was a mistake..”
Asa tries to speak again. “Chu Chu..I..but we’re friends and I just wanted to..”
But he cuts her off, far too paranoid of her using anything against him and furious to even listen to any other bullshit from her lips. “No, shut the hell up. We are not friends, we never were and we never will be. You may have blackmailed me into agreeing to that stupid request but it will never be real, ever. I would never want to be friends with someone like you.”
The Flags all look at Chuuya, feeling the tension in the air as Piano Man takes a step forward. He knew the boy was angry but he was going to say something he regretted. “Chuuya..”
But the kid didn’t want to hear it, shaking his head and pointing an accusatory finger at Dazai’s crazy ass girlfriend. “All you do is manipulate and lie and treat everyone like your own personal playthings and I’m sick of it. Just stay the hell away from me!”
He tries to turn to leave but Asagao doesn’t know when to stop, her feet racing up to him as she reaches her hand out to stop him only for the boy to quickly whirl around and grab her shirt, pulling her closer and hissing. “No wonder why Dazai’s relationship with you is in name only. That’s all anyone would ever want to be with you.”
Watching her eyes widen at his words, he knew it hurt her but that was the point. She was getting too close to him and he needed her to go away, not knowing any other liabilities about him that she could use.
He was self destructing, it was obvious, but knowing was not enough to stop it. Keep everyone at a distance, never let them know how broken he really was, lashing out with anger and insults. That’s all he knew how to do best.
Protecting himself by a wall so no one ever came in.
Especially her.
Chuuya then pushes her away as she falls into a sensor and the alarm bells ring all around the room, causing his clouded fury to finally dissipate at his eyes to widen. Shit.
He then blinks as Asagao disappears from his sight, probably using her time stop ability as the rest of the Flags curse at the alarms, Albatross grabbing Chuuya’s arm. “Come on man, we gotta go!”
Feeling pulled in many different directions, Chuuya rushes through the hallways, alarms blaring and disorienting him as his head spun from his previous display.
Everything was just moving so fast, he couldn’t breathe.
The Flags then shoved the file with the information about the murders into his chest before telling him to run, vaguely seeing hoards of armed guards around as he acted on autopilot and dashed away from them.
He moved to higher ground, hearing the sound of fighting underneath him as Chuuya makes it onto a platform before he freezes at the sound of a familiar voice, one that made his blood run cold and his anger spike all at once. “Well well well, look who it is. Our fallen King.”
Snapping his head up, he found himself face to face with the kid that betrayed him an entire year ago, his white spiky hair and fur collared jacket just the same as he remembered.
Shirase.
Chuuya gritted his teeth, standing up straight to face his past. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Shirase only chucked though, putting his hands in his pocket. “Oh, you didn’t like the gifts I’ve been sending you? Dozens of mafioso corpses, all because you just wouldn’t die like you were supposed to a year ago.”
Widening his eyes, the pieces immediately snapped together. The jewel trade, they targeted mafioso in the jewel trade because that was Chuuya’s division. This was all because of him. The Sheep wanted revenge and they were using what was left of the GSS to do it.
The white haired kid’s lips curve into a smirk at that. “Ah, you’re connecting the dots, huh? That’s right Chuuya, the rest of us Sheep still wanted our revenge after you sent the port mafia to destroy our alliance with the GSS. Very few remain, thanks to you.”
Chuuya glares at the explanation. “I joined the mafia so they wouldn’t kill you. I sacrificed my life so you could live and this is how you repay me? By going after my organization?”
Shirase only shrugs though. “Quiet Chuuya, stop acting like you care about us anymore. You picked your side, and we picked ours.”
Glancing down to the fight below them, Shirase then chuckles under his breath. “But I can see not much has changed. You're still alone. No one is going to come and save you, just like a year ago. They are all too busy to care about a non-human thing like you.”
Chuuya’s eyes widen at that, feeling his insecurities fester from Shirase’s words. He knew it wasn’t true, the Flags did care about him, the kid was just trying to get him to doubt that.
But somewhere in the back of his mind, that same fear crept without permission. Up on this platform it did feel the same, that small sick sense of deja vu he had felt before. Alone. Abandoned. Having no one to rely on but himself.
And that brought a form of PTSD he hadn’t planned, feeling his heart beat out of his chest. Shirase was right in a sense, not much had changed. He was still pushing people away, shoving them out of his life so they didn’t see the ugly parts of his soul.
He always did that, even when he was with the Sheep, and now he was here again.
Just like a year ago, there was no one to fight for him but himself.
It was crippling, heart wrenching in every way, knowing that in this moment he was truly and utterly alone.
Just like he deserved to be.
Shirase then smiles at Chuuya’s unraveling, his hand reaching into his pocket to pull out a blade, a carbon copy like last year as he races towards the boy to finally finish what he started.
And Chuuya didn’t realize it until the blade was mere inches from his side, the boy’s eyes widening barely having time to react as his brain told him that it was always supposed to be like this.
He was weak, too weak to ever ask for help.
The boy then closed his eyes and waited for the familiar sting of the blade to course through him, for that same helpless and vulnerable feeling to appear..
But it never came.
Opening his eyes in confusion, Chuuya then felt his nostrils ring with the scent of vanilla, a familiar deja vu filling his senses as he turned back to Shirase and widened his eyes at the sight.
Asagao, the girl that he had yelled at and had just told to get lost was standing in front of him, the blade that was meant for him plunged deep into her side like she had taken the strike for him.
Shirase blinked in disbelief at the girl who had mysteriously appeared out of nowhere, reeling back with a shout. “W-Who..how did you…”
But Chuuya knew the answer before she said anything. Her time stop ability, the one that snuck up on him earlier, she had used it to put herself in front of that knife. But why?
Asa only smirks though, her face not showing any signs of pain as she simply takes the handle of the blade and pulls it out of her side, allowing it to clang on the floor. “Nice try, but Chu Chu’s not alone. He has me.”
Shirase takes a step backwards, not understanding what was happening. “Y-You..who are you? You didn’t even wince..”
Chuuya on the other hand is still struggling to understand what is going on, watching as the blood slowly stained her side and his heart dropped in his chest. She just got stabbed for him. Why? He didn’t deserve that.
She had no reason to after he berated her so harshly just minutes ago.
So much so, his voice came out a whisper, his eyes never leaving her wounded side. “A-Asa..”
But she only glanced behind him and smiled, like she’s trying to reassure him she’s okay.
Then Asa turned back to Shirase before putting her hands out in front of the ginger haired boy, her eyes narrowing with a fire and a threat behind her glasses that made his blood run cold. “The name is Asagao, and though I’m not worthy enough to be Chuuya’s friend yet, I’m going to work hard to earn the meaning of that title. So, back off. He’s protected.”
And all at once, Chuuya felt his heart stop, tears threatening to break free.
Oh. So this was what he was missing.
Someone to fight for him.
---------
(This chapter was a pain in my ass I've been writing it forever. I hope Chuuya's characterization is alright. It's my first time doing a study on him ahhh. Okay next chapter should be soon I'm already halfway down. Also If you're missing Dazai..well you won't be for long.)
Chapter 21: "Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures"
Summary: Mori starts to realize a change in Dazai, although it is not the change he wants so he decides to take matters into his own hands. Meanwhile, Chuuya (unfortunately) gets another run in with the mackerel's girlfriend, expect this time she may be more useful than he first believed.
Chapter 22: "Tonight You're An Honorary Flag"
Summary: Chuuya has to swallow his pride and do the one thing he never wanted to do, ask Dazai's crazy ass girlfriend for help on a mission to ensure that he can finally find out if he's human or not. The question is, will she accept, especially when it goes against everything her brother wanted for her?
Warnings: pm!sixteen year old chuuya, manipulation, small bit of stabbing, talks of Odasaku's death, grumpy angry chuuya for real here, chuuya is suffering and we all love it (poor boy)
(This is chapter twenty one and twenty-two of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. I'll link the master list below so you can get the full story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)
Master List Here- To Start from Ch1 <3
A03 Here
Work Count: 15k
Chapter 21:
"Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures"
Dazai was no longer the same after that kiss.
In fact, it would be easy to say that the event that had shaken his entire world completely in both the worst and best possible ways imaginable.
Because right now, the boy was an absolute mess, in all the seemingly possible routes that could be conjured up. He couldn’t think about anything else, couldn’t process anything else except that small suspended moment in time from a couple nights ago.
He was supposed to be in charge, he was always supposed to control the situations he had walked into but right now Dazai felt anything but that. Hell, the moment he touched her lips any sense of dignity or self respect flew right out the window, making him submit to her without a second thought. Like a loser, like a little bottom bitch.
He hated it, he hated himself for silently begging for more inside his head.
For wanting her to continue, to push his head directly down into the drowning ocean so he could die between those lips forever. Ugh, just thinking about it was making his head spin and his hands twitch against his will.
What was wrong with him? What was he even thinking? He was the demon prodigy, the one everyone feared, the one that was supposed to be on top at all times but somehow he had sunken so far below that it was hard to even breathe anymore without thinking about her.
He told her that the kiss was the same, that it was just like the other million he had before but that it was an absolute flat out lie, a defense mechanism. Because this feeling, this utter destruction in his mind was absolutely not the same.
In fact, it was so far from what usually occurred. He had never gotten so attached before, so utterly consumed by a mere kiss. It was like his mind was registering it as his first, even though that was hardly the case.
Hell, even his first kiss wasn’t like this. He could even hardly remember it to be honest. Perhaps it had something to do with a job or a seduction of some kind? Dazai hardly had the capacity to remember anything about it, the event so insignificant in his mind.
But this? He still remembered every single second, every pathetic feeling in his mind, every recollection of her touch like it had happened only seconds ago. It was torture, the boy reliving the experience over and over on repeat, unable to turn it off.
Reaching up in order to pull on the messy brown strands of hair, Dazai felt his lips give a frustrated groan as he tried to anchor himself to reality.
He was losing it, finally losing it, going insane. He could feel the walls, the defenses of the demon slip away ever so quickly, leaving only a frazzled and flustered sixteen year old boy in its place.
And he hated it, he hated how weak she made him feel, how utterly stripped away and vulnerable she managed to make him.
He had tried for years to cover himself so deep that no one could ever see the pathetic unsure little boy beneath it all but somehow Asagao always managed to get through the layers, to reveal and uncover the things he so desperately wanted to keep buried for his own safety.
Feelings of uncertainty, of nervousness, of fear, they all had to be locked away, the demon prodigy didn’t need them, the port mafia executive didn’t need them. They weren’t necessary for survival in the underworld.
In fact if it was the opposite, if anyone saw them then they could be turned into weapons, weaknesses that could cause the destruction of himself and that protected kid under all the armor he had built for himself.
He knew that, because that was the first thing Dazai ever exploited when he was on the other side of that knife. It’s only logical that they would do the same. The world was cruel after all, wicked in every single way. Any amount of light was made to be crushed by enemy hands.
Mafioso couldn’t have weaknesses, so why was Asagao becoming his?
And he feared what would happen if he kissed her a second time. Would he just fall apart all over again, would he once again beg and crumble at her feet for another sweet piece of heaven? It was making himself sick just thinking about it.
No, that could not happen again, no matter how much his entire mind and body wanted it. That’s not who he was, he wasn’t a pathetic lovesick fool.
It had to be the alcohol in his system that made him feel so off. Yes, that’s what it was, why he had acted so out of character. Hell, he bet if he kissed her again things would go back to how they used to be.
Just like with all of those other women, he could prove that she wasn’t so special. He’d be able to switch off this horrible part of his mind and switch back to the playboy routine he had perfected time and time again.
No one could make the demon prodigy crumble, especially not Odasaku’s little sister.
And though his confidence flickered back to life for a millisecond, anxiety soon filled the space, leaving him uncertain once more.
That’s what should happen, but what if it didn’t? What if kissing her again didn’t make a goddamn difference?
What if he truly was just that weak to her? Then he didn’t know what he’d do.
Pulling on his hair once more, Dazai’s face began to redden at the idea before throwing his head straight into the table in front him, groaning into the wood with a pathetic whine of his own runaway thoughts.
Yet that’s when he heard a voice to his left, snapping him from his own chaotic thoughts. “Dazai, is there something you’d like to share?”
Mori’s presence suddenly became extremely prominent, causing the boy to snap his head up from the table only to remember where he was. Oh yeah, he was in a meeting with Mori and a bunch of other mafia guys. He was too zoned out to notice.
So much so, that everyone in the room was now staring at the boy, all of them around too scared to point out the strange and out of character behavior of the supposed “demon prodigy” as they remained silent.
And to be completely honest, Dazai didn’t know what the hell this meeting was about, his mind far too focused on thoughts of Asagao to even pick out one thing since he sat down.
So, he did what he always did. He lied. “Yes, can you hurry it up? Everything’s just so boring I kinda tuned you out. Besides, I got a new suicide method I wanna try after this and you’re taking forever..”
Everyone around him began to stiffen, surprised and fearful for how plainly he was speaking to the boss. It took a lot of balls for sure, they certainly couldn’t do it.
Mori seemed to have expected it though, his dark eyes moving to the boy for a second before a smile curved into his lips. “Right, sorry Dazai. I suppose this discussion has dragged on quite a bit. Meeting adjourned for now.”
All the other mafia members immediately stood from their seats at that, wanting to leave the room as fast as possible only for Mori to call back to the boy casually.” Dazai, I would like for you to stay a little longer.
Dazai frowned at that, watching everyone else leave at lightning speed before the two were alone in the large office room, the boy still in his seat as Mori stood to tower over him in a show of power. “There seems to be something occupying your mind lately. Would you like to share what it is?”
And there was no way he was going to tell Mori about the inner turmoil inside his mind. No way in hell, especially when it involved someone that the boss wasn’t ever supposed to know existed. “Occupying my mind? Yeah right, the only things ever on my mind are how to piss off Chuuya the most and figuring out exciting new ways of committing suicide!”
Mori only hummed though, moving around to place his hand on the top of Dazai’s chair and the other on the desk in front of the boy, boxing him in. “Hmm is that so? Are you sure that’s all? There isn’t another distraction mulling around in that brain of yours?”
Narrowing his eyes, the mafia boss gauged Dazai’s response, waiting to see the subtleties in the boy’s expressions and the fractured changes that only came with years of closely guarded interactions and conversations.
It was no secret that there had been a shift in his favorite executives' behavior recently, although it wasn’t a change that Mori was necessarily fond of.
You see, Dazai was a strange boy, one that had always been in a realm of his own but he never strayed too far from the path that was designed for him. He was known and expected to be cruel, lethal, boarding inhuman, the perfect fit for the dark world of the mafia.
But lately, a minuscule mutation had occurred and Mori could see the beginnings of a crack, of a fracture in the usual exterior that was supposed to be Dazai Osamu.
No, the demon prodigy, the ruthless and emotionless weapon that he had created and slowly crafted had been slowly whittling away by the day into something softer, weaker and undesirable for the purpose that Mori had been slowly cultivating unseen from the surface.
And the boss had expected a change to occur in the boy after Oda Sakunosuke’s death. He had predicted that much. Mori had expected Dazai to ultimately break, to shatter under the weight of his own grief of his fallen friend, to become a lost soul that Mori could pick up and nurture back into a self made dependance by his own design.
He had been ready for it, arms opened wide for the vulnerable bandaged boy to fall into.
But that hadn’t happened at all.
In fact, a different outcome happened instead, one that Mori hadn’t expected.
Because Dazai hadn’t shattered, he wasn’t destroyed like intended, something else had occurred instead. But why? What had he not accounted for? What had latched onto the boy before he could? Some sort of leach that was for sure, some sort of other vice for Dazai’s dependence. But what?
Mori didn't know yet, but he was determined to find out. To find the source of his current projects wavering miscalculation.
Mori was almost never wrong, and the fact that he was in this situation was very frustrating to him. He needed to fix it immediately, to get his little demon prodigy back on track for his plan to come back to fruition.
And it would, it would come into fruition, simply because that’s what Mori wanted.
And Mori always got what he wanted.
Noticing the changes in his expression, Mori then rephrased his inquiry, sensing that Dazai didn’t want to reveal his reason for his out of character act. That was fine, he could improvise. “Because if you did have a nasty distraction occupying the back of your mind, I could help remedy that.”
Dazai’s head snapped up at that, disbelief on his face. What, could that be true? Could Mori help with his Asagao malfunction? Could he help him get his head back on straight and get rid of those lingering feelings of dangerous weakness? It almost sounded too good to be true, he was skeptical of it.
But that did sound appealing, he needed to do something to rid himself of this awful weakness that was cultivating inside him before it consumed him entirely. Otherwise it would be dangerous to himself, and to Odasaku’s little sister both.
And Dazai tried to disguise his hope for the topic, desperate for anything to pull him back together again and not think about that kiss. “And how could you do that?”
Mori smiled then, the corners of his grin not reaching the end of his lips as he pulled back to stand next to Dazai, relishing in the hooks that he had successfully reattached to the boy. “It’s quite simple really. You just need to remember who you are again, a mental reset if you will, and I know just the thing to reignite that.”
The boy waited for him to continue and Mori gladly did so. “I have a job that I need done. Something that requires a special set of skills, something I believe you’d fit quite well, Dazai.”
Dazai only frowned though. That’s what he had, a mission? How boring. It sounded like Mori was just trying to get him to do his dirty work again. Annoying. “That’s it? Just a job?”
Shaking his head, the boss hummed. “Oh no, not just a job. A special job. One that would require you out of the country and away from that little distraction that has been bothering you so much. You’d be fully immersed in every aspect, with no time for anything but the demon prodigy. Sounds enticing, yes?”
And yeah, it did sound enticing. To Dazai, it sounded like exactly what he needed. A mission that fully immersed him, that separated him from any other thought in his mind? To relish in the blood and the gore, in the familiar safety net of darkness he’d always known instead of these scary and uncertain feelings that he couldn’t understand?
It was perfect.
He could go on this job, run away from the things that made him uncomfortable, get his head on straight and then return to Asagao when everything was back to normal.
Yet just the sound of her name in his mind made his hands start to twitch with that familiar ugly feeling of withdrawal.
Leaving meant having to forgo their nightly meetings and chats, it meant not hearing her sweet laugh or eating her homemade dinners for a while. It meant pushing himself back to loneliness and isolation instead of feeling protected and safe.
Safe in her arms, safe in her care. He had to distance himself from all of that.
And god, just thinking about leaving her, even for a couple days really showed how badly Dazai relied on her to give him any sense of stability in his life. He needed her, he needed her so damn bad, he couldn’t stand it. Asagao had become a piece of him that could no longer be removed from his twisted jagged puzzle.
But that was the problem, wasn’t it? His dependence on her light, his desperation to be near her, that’s what was ruining everything. Because it wasn’t just about mere friendship or a business transaction based on Odasaku anymore.
Now Dazai wanted more, his selfish greedy soul wanted all of her.
Not just to talk and laugh but to kiss and hold, to embrace and worship. He wanted her body, mind and soul, her everything, and that was something that Dazai could not allow. Not to Odasaku’s precious little sister, not to the last remaining piece of his best friend that still lingered in this world.
The feelings he harbored, the lines he was crossing would destroy them both if he didn’t fix them right now. He needed to fix it, for his sake and for hers before those lines disappeared and they condemned themselves to hell forever.
It was going to be hard, so incredibly hard but he could do it, Dazai could leave for both their sakes. Not permanently, that wasn’t an option anymore, but he could distance himself enough to get back on track, to dissipate the feelings inside him enough where they could regress back of their safe friendship bubble once more.
Rebuild his defenses, reconstruct his walls. That’s right, Mori was giving him an opportunity, a chance to remember who he was. He wasn’t some weak, lovesick fool, he was the demon prodigy. The strong, inhuman and indestructible demon prodigy.
And no one, not even Asagao could change that. He’d prove it.
Snapping his eyes back to Mori, Dazai feigned indifference for the topic, even though every muscle inside him was pleading to take his offer like a lifeline. “I guess I could do it. Just as long as it’s not boring or dumb.”
But it didn’t matter if his exterior was impassible, Mori still saw the flicker of desperation in his un bandaged eye, the way the boy clung onto his offer with everything he had.
And Mori relished in the expression. There it was, the dependance. “I assure you, it will be anything but. Now run along, you have much to do to prepare. I expect great results, demon prodigy.”
Then the boss watched Dazai slowly stand from his seat in a fake act of nonchalance before heading out the door, clearly eager to start his mind distracting mission.
And when he was gone, the boss slowly circled around to Dazai’s empty chair before resting his hands on the top before a cold smile spread across his lips.
That minor miscalculation was bothersome, but it would soon be fixed.
It was still an unshakable fact after all,
Mori always got what he wanted.
-------
While getting ready for his job, Dazai pulled out his phone to call Asagao, his heart skipping a beat as soon as she picked up. “Ah, Samu! What a surprise. What’s new?”
Trying his best to shake away the confusing and overwhelming feelings in his chest, Dazai cleared his throat before forcing himself to sound nonchalant. “Mori gave me a job. I won’t be around for a while.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line before Asa replied, just as sweetly as she always did. “Ooh a job? That’s exciting! Don’t worry about me, just be careful, alright?”
The way she accepted his absence so easily brought a painful knot in his throat. Ah, he was right. He was the only one freaking out about the kiss. She seemed fine. This job was a good decision.
Giving a dry laugh, Dazai replied. “Ah, you know me, love. Careful is so boring.”
He heard her light playful laugh in return. “You’re right about that. Let me rephrase that then. Have as much chaos as you want, just be sure to come back after. Better?”
Dazai then found himself smiling softly in reply without permission, his voice showing his real feeling for a millisecond. “Yeah, better.”
Widening his eyes at the slip, Dazai then cleared his throat again before hastily adding. “I have to go, bye.”
And then the boy hung up before feeling his head collapse against the nearest wall with a groan as he closed his eyes in order to calm his ever beating heart. He truly was a mess, in every way possible.
That mission couldn’t come fast enough.
------
Chuuya was no longer the same after meeting Dazai’s girlfriend.
He had tried and tried and tried so hard to forget that horrible night, the one where both that shitty mackerel and his psychopath girlfriend played him so badly that he had gotten kidnapped and beaten up for their own entertainment but he simply couldn’t.
He couldn’t forget it.
In fact, that little event was like plague in his mind, simply because of one thing and one thing only. Dazai he had expected to be a pain in the ass, but Asagao? Now that was the wild card he hadn’t predicted.
Who knew a cute dorky glasses wearing girl could turn out just as sick and twisted as Dazai himself? Those two, they perfectly fed off each other in all the worst ways possible.
But that wasn’t what bothered him the most. What bothered him was far more complicated than a simple hatred for the game that she had pulled.
It was that face she had made when he called her a freak.
Because that face, that vulnerable painful look she showed him was nothing like Dazai. But it didn’t make any goddamn sense. She had set up their twisted plot, Dazai and her willingly got all of them kidnapped just to screw over that ex-mafia member.
Hell she even pretended to be in distress so that Chuuya would have no choice but to agree to that stupid ass nickname she was shoving down his throat since the beginning. She wasn’t a good person and clearly had no remorse for her actions.
But then why did it look like she was going to cry when he so obviously rejected her? Why did it look like she was having a panic attack and breaking down in front of him? She should’ve known that doing all that shit would make him pissed off. Was she really that stupid, did she truly think that manipulation was equivalent to friendship?
And Chuuya had tried to tell himself that it was an act, that Asagao’s strange switch in personality was just another method of bullshit. It had to be.
She had snapped that ex-mafia members' legs like twigs and shot down hundreds of enemies with no feeling, there was no way she was seriously heartbroken and shattered after a simple friendship rejection. That girl was messing with him, even now. He knew it.
But somewhere in the back of his mind Chuuya was still haunted by it.
Of the lost, sad look in her face when she apologized for ever asking in the first place, of the quiver in her voice or the shake in her hands when she bowed and walked away.
Chuuya felt himself pull on the strands of his hair in frustration at the memory. Ah, damn it! Why did he feel like shit?! She was the one that manipulated him, played him like nothing. Why in the hell did he feel guilty all of a sudden?! That girl was doing this on purpose, she had to be. Ugh, he hated her so much.
Stomping down the streets near the port mafia, the ginger haired boy sought out to clear his head to no avail. Those annoying feelings were still there, that stupid sad face still plaguing his vision like a constant nightmare that wouldn’t go away, but he had to try or else he’d go insane.
Yet that’s when he saw a very familiar head of red messy hair slip into the nearby dark alley only for Chuuya to pause. No, there’s no way in hell. She was not here. Great, was he hallucinating that little psycho now? Oh god, he hoped not.
Against his better judgment, the mafioso walked over to the alley with the intent to disprove his crazy imagination. He was in port mafia territory, why in the hell would that girl even be here for? Unless she was stalking him now?
And quite honestly he wouldn’t put it past her, considering she was fucking crazy.
Stepping into the dimly lit alley, Chuuya then paused at the sight before him. No way, it was her alright, Dazai’s girlfriend, and she was being held at knifepoint, like some kind of stick up or robbery.
And to anyone else, the scene could be seen as concerning. An innocent girl in criminal territory being held at knifepoint in extreme danger? It was a classic damsel in distress situation, one that Chuuya would’ve stopped immediately if she was any normal person.
But Asagao was anything but normal, and Chuuya knew better than to underestimate and reduce her to a simple princess in trouble. No, he wouldn’t make that mistake again. So he waited.
Narrowing his eyes out of sight, the ginger remained hidden as he heard Asa speak casually to the criminal, almost like her life wasn't in danger at this very second. “I don’t know, I mean, what should I even do? I could really use some advice here.”
Chuuya then watched the criminal take a step closer to Asagao, his eyes narrowed in frustration as he shouted angrily. “You want some advice? How about you shut your mouth right now before I do it for you!”
Yet Asagao wasn’t shaken in the slightest, only shaking her head in disappointment as she casually replied. “You know, you aren’t a very good active listener. I’m really dishing my heart out here and I feel like you aren’t paying attention at all.”
The robber only shook his head in disbelief though, taking a step closer to her with a shout. “What the hell are you going on about?! Just let me rob you!!”
Asa only waved him away though, clearly disregarding the threat he was displaying, an unbothered smile on her lips as if she was in her own world. “Yeah yeah yeah,I already said I’d let you do that in a second. Oh, where was I? Oh yeah! So the thing is, we are supposed to be friends and he said that the kiss was supposed to be the same as my first one but it so clearly wasn’t the same, but I don’t want to come off as a weirdo cause it seemed to be the same for him. I mean he’s kissed hundreds of girls before so of course I wouldn’t be anyone special to him, which is fine, but then I can’t shake these strange feelings after it. Like I want him to do it again. Is that crazy? Of course it’s crazy right? And I know I should just ignore them and move on but I don’t know, it’s really hard.I feel like maybe I’m overreacting and I don’t wanna seem too clingy, do I seem too clingy to you?”
And it was obvious that the robber hadn’t expected the strange therapy session and rambling confessions of this strange random woman. Hell, he thought she’d be an easy target, being alone and distracted as she walked the unsavory streets of the port mafia territory. But this, he hadn’t planned for this.
Because somehow, this crazy ass girl was just talking to him normally, like there wasn’t a knife in his hand, like he hadn’t just threatened to kill her and rob her of all her money. She didn’t seem affected in the least. In fact, she hadn’t even reacted when he dragged her into this alleyway. There was something wrong with this girl, that was for sure. She wasn’t normal at all.
And now he had to hear about her bullshit melodrama, to hear her ramble on and on about some guy that she kissed that she needed advice on. She wouldn’t shut up about it, almost like she was genuinely trying to get advice while being robbed. But who in their right mind would even do that?!
The robber opened his mouth to reply before she cut him off, clearly still rambling her perpetual word vomit. “Then again we were drunk when we kissed so it could’ve been the alcohol and I could be overreacting the whole thing. But what if I’m not? What if it wasn’t the alcohol and I genuinely want to kiss him again? That would be a disaster, right? Of course it would be haha. The last thing I wanna do is chase him away. I don’t want to ruin our arrangement and go back to having no one again. I don’t know, what do you think, Mr. Robber?”
Blinking in disbelief, the criminal shook his head. “You’re insane..”
Asagao only hummed though, almost like she was taking his comment as actual advice before giving him an unbothered smile. “Well that’s a known fact, silly. But it doesn't help me with my problem, now does it? Got anything else?”
But the man was over it, his patience snapped as he raced forward to the girl, knife outstretched in order to finally shut her up and give him some peace and quiet for once. “Ugh! Just shut the fuck up! I’m gonna cut out your damn tongue!”
Asagao didn’t seemed bothered by his attack, in fact she looked quite unimpressed as the robber watched her easily dodge his stab before he suddenly felt his lungs cave in and his legs get swept under him by some kind of invisible force before his shoulder cried out in agony only to find his own knife buried in the surface like some kind of sick magic trick.
What the hell? She didn’t even move. No, it couldn't be, did this chick have some kind of ability? She destroyed him in a single second. What a monster.
And even Chuuya couldn’t help but be taken back by how quickly she took this guy down. Yes, he knew about her lethal time stop ability but seeing it in action again was just as haunting and impressive as it was the first time.
Groaning out in pain, the criminal wheeze out a breath, clutching his shoulder with agony as he looked up at the seemingly unbothered auburn haired woman. “W-What, what did you do to me? You stabbed me!”
Asa only leaned down though, an apologetic smile on her lips. “Ah yeah, sorry about that. Might have overdone it a bit. But really it’s your fault, Mr. Robber. If you listened and gave me some advice I would’ve let you rob me, promise I would’ve. But you had to be difficult.”
Chuuya then shifted his foot only for the girl to snap her head up and notice him, her smile growing wider in order to jump up and practically skip to the ginger in joy. “Chu Chu! What a nice surprise, what are you doing here?”
Yet that’s when the mafioso couldn’t help but glance at the robber that was still gasping for air by her feet only for Asa to follow her gaze with a nervous unconvincing laugh. “Oh, him? He was like that when I got here. Isn’t that right?”
But the robber only groaned in pain, causing Chuuya to shake his head. God, she was just as crazy and psychotic as he remembered her to be. “What are you doing here? You stalkin me or something?
And he wouldn’t have put it past her if that was the case, considering what she had just done to this lowly low class criminal. Why else would she be in port mafia territory? It wasn’t the see Dazai, that mackerel already expressed how he didn’t want her here in his line of work.
Asagao only seemed confused by his comment though, looking around the alley before putting her hands up in defense with a goofy grin. “What? Oh no no, not at all. If I was stalking you, you wouldn’t even know it until it was too late haha.”
It seemed she meant that as a joke, but it only made Chuuya pale at the implications of what she could do to him if she truly wanted to follow him around, and Asa seemed to notice that as well, her lips dropping an awkward neutral expression. “Sorry, bad joke. Was just trying to lighten the mood. I’m not stalking you, promise. I just happened to be here. Small world, huh?”
Chuuya only raised a skeptical eye though. “You’re telling me you just happened to be in port mafia territory? Cut the shit, Asagao. You think I’d believe that? You’re up to something.”
And what Chuuya didn’t know was that the reason for her strange outing was in order to clear her head of that kiss that Dazai had shared with her a couple days ago. It seemed she also was having a malfunction of her own, one that she wasn’t ready to tell anyone.
Asa shook her head in response at his accusation, put a hand to her heart passionately and dramatically. “No, really, it’s true this time. I’m not, promise! I’m not up to anything remotely shady..currently..”
Groaning in exasperation at the last part of her sentence, he grumbled. “God, you’re so much like Dazai. Give me a damn break..”
It was the one thing he hated about her the most. How she was like Dazai, the very bane of his existence. With her here it seemed like his eternal punishment had been doubled, giving him two long lasting menaces instead of one.
Great, just great. He could already feel a headache coming on.
Yet that’s when he heard her voice again. “Hey Chu..”
Grumbling under his breath, the ginger’s head snapped up with annoyance, his voice sharp and cold. “What, what the hell do you want now?!”
Yet the second his eyes looked on hers, he found a different expression on her face, a softer, more somber one than before. “I wanted to apologize again for what I did. I was just so excited to meet you again that I got carried away. I promise I won’t overstep and ask you to be my friend again.”
And there it was again, that stupid face, the one that haunted his dream. God, why did she look so sad and vulnerable while talking about something so stupid? It couldn’t be real, she couldn’t be serious.
Asa was clearly a manipulative person, she was just trying to wrap him around her finger, he knew it. People like Dazai didn’t have a heart, and they certainly didn’t have feelings.
Besides, she knew what she was doing when she tricked him to use that stupid nickname and roped him into that little sick kidnapping plot that she and Dazai set up. She said it herself. There was no way she could have remorse for that.
But then why was he still feeling incredibly shitty for it? God, this woman was messing with his head. He needed to stop thinking about it.
Crossing his arms over his chest, Chuuya simply nodded, not revealing any of the inner turmoil he was feeling from her seemingly sincere apology. “Good.”
The mafioso then cleared his throat. “If you know then get out of here already.”
Nodding her head, Asagao turned to look around the alley. “Right, I should head home now. Let’s see it’s just..umm..”
Chuuya then raised an eye as he watched the girl glance at her surroundings, seeing the disconnect between her glasses and her eyes. Just what the hell was she doing, another trick? “Well, what are you waiting for?”
Giggling to herself in a nervous fashion, Asa continued to look around with a nod. “Sorry..I..was just…uh..”
And the more she looked around like a puppy, the more Chuuya was getting annoyed. Why the hell did it look like she didn’t know where she was? Wandering around like a lost little child..wait..
That’s when Chuuya paused, turning to her with annoyance. “Ah hell, don’t tell me you’re lost..”
Asagao then paused her search before laughing in order to rub her hair with an apologetic smile as her glasses slipped a little down her nose. “Hahaha oops?”
Oops? Oops?! That’s all she could say? She wandered into port mafia territory, lost herself lost like a child and all she had to say was oops?! Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.
Putting his hands in his head with a groan, the mafioso shouted. “How can you be lost?!”
Asa only shrugged playfully though. “Ah well, it sorta just happened?”
The boy was only stunned in disbelief though. “Why are you acting so calm? Like this is a normal thing for you? Oh no, don’t tell me this is a normal thing for you..”
Laughing again, Asagao pushed her glasses back onto her face. “Sad to say, it is. It’s okay, I’m used to it. I’m sure I’ll find my way some way or another. I always do, haha.”
Although that’s when Chuuya watched the girl turn around a little too quickly and confidently, walking face first into the nearest alley wall, just like she did a couple days ago when he found out Dazai was her boyfriend.
Ah hell, this was a normal thing for her, she wasn’t kidding.
Immediately racing up to her, Chuuya pulled her shoulder back, disconnecting her from the wall like a frantic mother hen in order to check her face with annoyance. “H-Hey, watch where you’re going, damn it!”
Asa only smiled though, allowing his gloved hands to trace across her new bruised injury before brushing it off like nothing. “It’s okay, Chu Chu, I’m all good! I just thought I had a bit more space before the wall. I guess not though, huh? Haha.”
And the fact that she was disregarding the action was concerning enough, neither mind the fact that Chuuya had seen her walk into walls and get hit by objects way too often for him to like.
But that didn’t make sense. He had seen her power firsthand. She was an incredibly skilled fighter and expert marksman, especially with that terrifying time stop ability of hers. So why was she always bumping into shit?
Taking a step back from her, Chuuya frowned. “I don’t understand how you can be such a damn klutz when I saw you take down hordes of enemies single handedly.”
Asa then dusted herself off before her eyes lit up with understanding. “Oh, that’s easy! It’s because I wasn’t wearing my glasses then. I can see everything without them, and I mean everything. But I usually only take them off when I’m fighting cause it gets..intense..”
Moving his gaze to her large dorky glasses that took up her entire face, Chuuya’s face flashed in realization. That’s right, all those times she was kicking ass it was without her glasses, with her scary hollow corpse like eyes. That made sense.
And she said that was intense? Intense was a damn understatement.
Chuuya shivered at the memory, those dead iris’ still stuck in his mind. “So you’re a walking disaster the rest of the time then?”
Asa only smiled in reply. “A-Ah..yeah, you could say that..”
Blinking at her disbelief, the boy put his hands in his head again. Here she was, a lethal killer, a weapon of unstopping force and yet the idiot couldn’t walk more than a couple feet without walking into a wall. Talk about versatility. She was something else, really.
He didn’t know whether to laugh or scream at that information.
And part of him really wanted to leave her in the middle of port mafia territory, to walk away and have her wander around walking into walls and buildings all day, but another part of him, an annoying part felt the need to help the lost puppy before she got herself killed and walked into oncoming traffic by accident.
Because that totally sounded like something she would do.
Feeling his guilty conscience start to emerge victorious, Chuuya then dropped his hands with frustration before turning back to the stupid red haired girl before shoving them into his pocket in a mutter. “Kill me now, why does it have to be me?”
Then he raised his voice, quickly turning to leave the alley with a stomp of anger. “Fine, I give up. Hurry up before I change my mind!”
He expected her to follow him, but as soon as he got to the end of the alley, he turned only to find Asa staring at him with confusion. Ah, you’ve gotta be kidding me. Did he need to get a leash or something? She really was a stupid lost puppy.
Just then, Chuuya remembered what Dazai said to him back before they got kidnapped. That stupid mackerel always dragged her around by her wrist and said that he had to or else she’d be lost without him.
At first he took it as a possessive metaphor but damn it, it was real wasn’t it? Shitty Dazai knew she’d get lost if he didn’t grab onto her.
Stomping back up to her, Chuuya then grumbled to himself before wordlessly looking down at her hand. He didn’t want to latch onto her wrist like Dazai did, that seemed dehumanizing, even for her. Which only left one option left, just great.
The mafioso then sighed before wrapping his gloved hand around her bare one before practically pulling her out of the alleyway. “You’re insufferable..always making my life difficult..”
And as he began to lead her out of port mafia territory and back to civilian life, Asa looked down at his hand intertwined with his before speaking in confusion. “Chu Chu, you don’t have to..”
But Chuuya only shouted back, clearly annoyed by what he was doing. “Just shut up before I leave you in the middle of the road. I can’t believe I’m doing this, you’re such a child..getting lost like an idiot..”
Yet though his words were harsh, Asagao’s lips couldn’t help but curve into a small smile at the gesture. He could’ve left her alone, he should’ve considering what she did to him the last time they saw each other and yet he was helping her get back home.
He really was a good guy after all.
So she remained quiet, allowing Chuuya to drag her across the city until she recognized some of the landmarks and was able to give him directions back to Oda’s apartment.
Finally arriving back on the very familiar steps of her brother's place, Chuuya then let go only to see him walk away without a word as Asagao willed something to her lips to stop him. She didn’t want him to go, she wanted to spend more time with him, but he obviously didn’t want the same.
So she said the first thing that came to mind. “U-Um..if you ever want to come inside and hang out just let me know! The offer is always out there!”
Chuuya on the other hand didn’t even reply, happy to be rid of Dazai’s crazy and annoying girlfriend. The sooner he got away from her weird and strange mannerisms the better. He already had that shitty mackerel to deal with on a daily basis, the last thing he needed was a more directly changed and confusing version of him around.
Just then, the boy’s phone began to ring only for Chu to answer with a gruff reply. “What?”
The voice on the other end was a familiar one to the boy, the ginger’s harsh greeting leaving the receiver unbothered. “Ah, Chuuya! There’s my favorite grumpy mafioso I wanted to hear from. We got a bit of a problem here I was hoping you could solve.”
Already groaning from the implications, Chuuya frowned. “What is it this time, Piano Man?”
The man, Piano Man, was the head of a small group in the port mafia known as the young bloods, and it was a group that Chuuya associated with more recently. They were a team, helping each other with various cases and missions over the last year or so.
The leader only hummed though, and Chuuya practically could see the amused smile he always wore from the other side of the call. “You see, this new job the boss assigned is going to be a tough one. It requires a set of skills that your partner could fulfill but I just heard that Mori sent him on an assignment out of the country. Which means we’re lacking one annoyingly smart demon prodigy.”
Chuuya sighed at that, shaking his head before running his gloved fingers through his hair. “And why in the hell would the boss send Dazai away out of the country and then assign a job that needs his stupid skills? That makes no damn sense.”
Piano Man paused for a second before answering. “You didn’t hear this from me but it sounds like a test. Like the boss wants you to figure out how to finish the job at a disadvantage.”
Widening his eyes at that, Chuuya stopped walking. A test? Could that really be true, was Mori really testing him on how competent he was? But why would he want to test him? Wait, no, it couldn’t be..
Chuuya had been trying to become an executive like Dazai for years, was this his chance, was Mori trying to see if he was worthy of it? “You don’t think he’s testing me to be an executive, do you?”
There’s another hum on the other end before Piano Man answers rather amused. “Seems like it. Or at least it’s a step in that direction. The boss definitely has an eye on you for something. If not for the executive position then for something to show your worth to him.”
And that was something that made the boy’s heart stop in anxiety. Piano was right. This was his chance, his chance to show the boss that he was good enough to be an executive. He would finish this job without Dazai and earn his executive spot next to that mackerel.
For you see, this was something that Chuuya had wanted more than anything, ever since he was manipulated into joining the port mafia from the sheep. But it wasn’t for the power or the position, that’s not what the boy cared about.
No, there was one thing that was shackling him to the organization and to Mori as a whole, and that was his past, his history, his memory.
It was the one thing he could never have. His life started when he was seven years old. Before that there was nothing. Just a blank void that Chuuya could never uncover no matter how hard he tried. It always felt like a part of him was missing, like he was never completely whole.
And that’s why Chuuya needed to be an executive, it was because executives could see confidential files, including the information on Chuuya’s family and his past. He wanted it so badly, to know who he was, what he was, if he was even human or not. It was eating at him for years, the blanks in his memory driving him almost insane with possibility and fear.
Because of that, he knew he had to be an executive, to ease his mind and his heart.
And he would do absolutely anything to get it, even if it meant betting on impossible odds.
Narrowing his eyes in serious intent, the boy felt his fingers tighten on the phone. “We don’t need that shitty Dazai. We’ll show the boss we don’t need him.”
Piano Man seemed to nod on the other side of the phone. “That’s great and all but how are you going to work around the loss of Dazai? You have another crazy smart psychopath in your back pocket we could use?”
The boy frowned at that. His friend had a point. Dazai was a special kind of evil, finding someone that could equal him would be nearly impossible. No one in the mafia was that kind of insane.
Chuuya then opened his mouth to reply before an idea flashed in his mind. Wait, he did have someone like that, didn’t he? Someone that was just like Dazai, someone that could make the job succeed. Not in the mafia, but somewhere else.
Dazai’s girlfriend could do it, she could replace the demon prodigy for the job.
Just then, that shitty mackerels voice echoed into his mind like a warning
“The last place I will allow her to be is in the port mafia.”
Ah, that’s right. Dazai said that he didn’t want her in the port mafia, in the darkness like him, even if she fit into it so well. By getting her involved in this case Chuuya would be going against that bandage losers wishes.
But why should he care? That shitty bastard and his girlfriend had used and manipulated him for their own whims without a care, why couldn’t he do it himself for once? And it wasn’t like he was dragging Asagao into the port mafia, he just wanted her for this job.
Dazai could get over it. That bastard wasn’t even in the country. It was time for him to be selfish for once. He needed Asagao in order to be an executive, to learn about his family. It was for a good cause. Besides, Chuuya was just repaying the favor of her manipulation with his own.
And he hated to stoop to Dazai’s level but desperate times called for desperate measures.
Tightening his hold on the phone once more, Chuuya spoke. “Actually, I think I do.”
And then he hung up before turning back to find Asagao putting the key in the lock of her door, completely oblivious to the plan that was slowly brewing in Chuuya’s mind. That’s right, he could do this, for his future, for his memories.
Taking a step forward, the boy then called out to her, sealing his decision.
“That offer still available?”
Chapter 22:
"Tonight You're An Honorary Flag"
“That offer still available?”
Chuuya regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth.
Somehow, it felt like with those four little words, something was put in motion that the poor ginger could never take back, an unfortunate fate that internally told him he could never be rid of this little psychopath now that he had given her an inch of attention.
And that was explicitly clear when Asagao immediately turned around, her eyes widening with a mix of disbelief and shock as she tried to process if she had just heard correctly. “H-Huh?”
She was staring at him so intensely, he felt all his words die inside his throat, everything inside of him was telling him to backtrack, to forget the plan completely.
But unfortunately that wasn’t possible as Asagao practally raced up to him in half desperation and half confusion as she leaned in closer to him, invading his personal space without socially recognizing it. “What did you just say?”
Oh god, he was screwed.
He knew it, just from the look on her face. There was no going back. He had already dug his grave, and now he had to lie in it.
Swallowing the dread away, Chuuya repeated the words, the syllables like acid on his tongue. “I said, is that offer still available? To…hang out?”
God, he had to force the last phrase out of his lips before he resisted the urge to vomit. He had to remember this was for a purpose, he was using her. It would be worth it.
Please be worth it.
Asagao on the other hand still seemed to be processing his acceptance of her offer, blinking in half disbelief as she repeated them back. “…you want to hang out with me? Really?”
He could feel it, her claws were in him now, she had taken the bait. There truly was no going back now.
Reluctantly nodding, he took a step closer against the better judgment before muttering gruffly. “Is that a problem?”
Asa immediately shook her head though, racing up to the cautious ginger before practically bouncing on her heels like a little puppy, eyes wide with giddy excitement. “You are kidding?! Of course it’s okay, I’d love that! Oh wow, this is the best day ever. I never thought you’d say yes! I mean I always thought that you hated me and I just..”
She was so loud, so ear grating that he was already pissed off, putting his hand to her lips before she went on with her incessant word vomit. “Okay, I get it. Just shut up already. You talk too much.”
Asa didn’t seem bothered or annoyed by that though, simply nodding with understanding before giving one of her brain dead smiles. “Ah, sorry! I’m just excited. I’ll work on it though, Chu Chu, I promise.”
There’s a beat of silence then as Chuuya waits for her to let him inside her apartment but she just continues to stare at him with that dumb stupid smile, staring at him without a word like she was savoring the moment and taking some imagery photo in her head.
And frankly, it was getting awkward, really awkward.
First the girl couldn’t shut up and now she wasn’t saying a damn thing? Chuuya was already getting a headache and severely regretting this plan.
She clearly was more trouble then she was worth, maybe even more batshit insane then Dazai was, which was saying a lot.
Chuuya then clears his throat only for Asa to turn her head in confusion. “Hm?”
The mafioso then groans before putting his head in his hands to calm his temper and point to the door to remind her what he’s waiting on.
He couldn’t get on with this if she didn’t open the damn door!
Asagao then widens her eyes before seemingly turning back to life, bouncing up to the door and pulling out her key. “Oh, right! Sorry, come on in. Make yourself at home! I’ll make some tea, do you like tea Chu Chu?”
He mutters back: “Not really…”
Nodding her head, she turns the key and the door cracks open. “No worries. I have lots of options. What would you like?”
The boy knew the answer immediately, it was the only thing that was going to get him through this awful encounter and night with Dazai’s insane girlfriend. “Alcohol, lots of it. Wine preferably.”
Asa hums at that. “Hmm okay, I think we have some of that. I’ll go take a look!”
He then watched her wild auburn hair disappear inside as Chuuya apprehensively ascended to the steps before freezing at the doorway as a horrible thought popped into his mind before he could cross the threshold.
Hold on, just what the hell was he going to walk into?
It was no secret that Dazai’s girlfriend wasn’t exactly…sane, in any capacity, and that was being generous.
He had seen her tear through enemies like butter, had witnessed her twisted manipulative plots so to be completely honest he was absolutely terrified of what he’d find inside these walls.
What if her idea of decor was something sick and twisted like severed heads or jars of eyeballs? What if her entryway was bathed in blood in her enemies and scattered with human remains hanging from the ceilings? What if she had some poor bastard tied up gutted like a fish in the living room? Honestly, the possibilities were endless.
And yeah sure, Chuuya was in the mafia, he had seen his fair share of fucked up and horrible things but there was something about Asagao that unsettled him in a way no one else ever could. She had this manic unhinged vibe about her that not even Dazai could match.
At least with Dazai you knew what you were getting, with Asagao it was anyone’s guess.
And that was absolutely terrifying because the possibilities that he was going to see something absolutely grotesque was way too high for his liking.
He had seen her idea of “fun” and he definitely didn’t like it considering it involved breaking people’s legs and manipulating them to her will.
A shiver ran up Chuuya’s spine at the thought before he shoved it down. What the hell was he so freaked out for? He was Nakahara Chuuya damn it, mafioso and past king of the sheep. He could handle one psychopath's house..right?
Taking a deep breath, the boy then closed his eyes before stepping into the house, pausing in the entryway before counting to three in his head in case he had to mentally prepare for what he was about to see. Please no severed heads, please no severed heads, please no severed heads.
But when he opened his eyes, the mafioso paused at what he saw.
Hold on, this was…normal?
He could hardly believe it. The apartment that he was so worried about was just a normal everyday apartment, warm, cozy, nothing that he associated with Asagao. In fact, it didn't even look like her place at all. Her psycho touches were nowhere to be seen.
Her voice then rings through his ears right next to him. “What are you looking at?”
Chuuya immediately jumped before turning to find Asagao standing behind him, a seemingly innocent smile on her lips but he wasn't fooled. How long had she been watching him? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
Damn it, this girl was making him anxious.
Perhaps it was because he was inside of her domain now, in a place he didn’t fully know or understand. She had the advantage here and he hated that idea more than anything.
Shaking his head, he managed out a response. “N-Nothing, I was just looking. Your place is..not really like you.”
She tilts her head at that. “What do you mean?”
Clearing his throat, Chuuya forces his voice to come out normally, regardless of the nervous twitch of his fingers. “It looks, you know, normal…and you’re…not.”
And any normal person would’ve been offended by that, but of course since the girl had a screw loose, Asa simply hummed in response. “Oooh, yeah no you're right. That’s because it's not my place. It’s my brothers.”
Chuuya nodded absentmindedly, before pausing to process her words. Wait, did she just say brother? he didn’t know she even had a family, never mind a brother. “Oh..I see. I assume your brother isn’t here right now then?”
He glanced into the room, half expecting a more psychotic version of Asa to pop out (if that was even possible) only for her to laugh at his question. “Nah, he’s dead. Anyways, have a seat! Tea’s almost ready, and I found some wine for you too! It’s your lucky day Chu Chu.”
Then disappearing into the living room next to them, Chuuya found himself alone once more, leaving him speechless and utterly whiplashed from their conversation.
Wait, did she just say dead? Her brother was dead? What kind of fucked up reaction was that?! Why was she brushing it off and laughing about her family member being dead?
Just then, Chuuya got a grave thought. She didn’t..kill him, right? No, there’s no way. She was crazy but she wasn’t that crazy. She wouldn’t kill her own brother and then laugh about his dead corpse, right?
But to be completely honest the mafioso wasn’t completely sure if she would or not. She was like a hurricane, a disaster leaving him in the whirlwind each and every time. Perhaps she was capable of such a thing.
There did seem to be a disconnect there, between her and her dead brother.
Either way, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the whole story.
Shaking the thought away, Chuuya then hesitantly stepped into the living room only for her to beam and pat the seat across from her as he noticed a fresh glass of wine on the coffee table, waiting ominously for him. “Ah, there you are! I got your wine, don’t worry though. I didn’t poison it or anything.”
She laughs to herself, smiling widely as he is forced to sit in the seat, the soft plush cushions of the sofa doing nothing to ease him in any way. He still felt like he was in a prison, the walls of her house confining and strangely ominous.
And why did she mention poison?! He wasn’t thinking about it before but now he was. What if she still actually laced his drink? He wouldn’t have put it past her. That sounded like something fucked up she could do.
Feeling his stomach turn suddenly he wasn’t in the mood for alcohol anymore.
The room was quiet, Chuuya hearing nothing but the sound of his own anxious breathing as he looked around the space to catalog every corner in case he had to fight his way out of this seemingly innocent room and to not look at the possibly laced wine.
He then catches a stack of bandages on a table in the corner, knowing that Dazai was here recently. Damn, she was fully stocked up. How often did that bandage freak come here? He knew she was that bastard’s girlfriend but that was enough gauze to last three to five years.
Getting back on topic, the ginger haired boy then sucked in a breath before turning back to her to get this over with. “Listen up, I..I have to talk to you about something, alright?”
Asa blinks in surprise at that, picking up her teacup with interest. “Yeah of course. Anything, Chu Chu.”
And it took everything within him not to snap at her or punch her for her stupid ass nickname. He hated it more than anything but that was not what mattered right now.
Still, he couldn’t stop his eye from twitching a bit in lingering distaste. “Right so, I have this mission coming up and it’s a damn big one.”
Asa beams at that, leaning forward in interest, like a kid on Christmas. “Oh, a mission! How exciting. Is it a dangerous one? Are you gonna beat a bunch of people up? Sounds super fun!”
Fun? That was not the word he would use to describe his port mafia missions, literally ever. Sure, beating people up could be rewarding but it was more of a pain in the ass more than anything.
But the way she was looking at him, it was like she was jealous of said mission, urging him for the glory details that would make any sane person run away.
Of course she’d be into the violence aspect of the job, considering how enjoyable she found tearing apart those rivals a couple days ago. What a freak.
Doing his best to humor her, Chuuya nods in discomfort. “Right..anyways, we’ve got a hell of a problem. This job requires Dazai’s lazy ass but he’s not in the country at the moment..”
The boy then swallows his words before continuing. “And we need someone with his skill set..and you’re kind of the only option we have at the moment..”
God, this was so fucking hard. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to be reliant on a crazy girl to help them. But it was for his family, for the flags, for him to be an executive. It had to be done.
Finishing, Chuuya forces out the rest of the question, gritting his teeth like it’s physically painful for him to ask. “So, uhh..will you help?”
And then, he sits in silence again, the only sound being the ticking clock on the wall as he fidgets with his hands as she stares at him blankly.
Why the hell was she just staring at him like that? One minute he couldn’t shut her up and now she was quiet as a damn mouse? Ugh, he hated this.
Then, the mafioso watched as Asa carefully puts down her teacup before straightening back up and lifting her hand like a child wanting to ask a question in school.
Seriously, what the hell?
Holding back a groan, Chuuya speaks. “Yes?”
Asa then puts her hand down before her voice comes out in curiosity. “Would it be rude to point out the fact that you're withholding information from me or is that something that normal people usually keep to themselves?”
And Chuuya feels his blood run cold.
What?
How in the...she realized he was hiding something?! She noticed that he was using her? No way, there’s no way she knew that. He didn’t say a damn thing. She was just bluffing, that had to be it.
Feeling himself turn speechless, he stuttered. “W-What? I’m not hiding anything..”
But Asagao is quick to correct him, giggling in an amused manner before crossing her legs casually and leaning against the sofa. “Come on Chu Chu, of course you are. It’s everywhere. In your body language, in your eyes, but mostly in the tone of your voice. You’re definitely withholding something from me.”
Blinking in disbelief, he shakily asked. “My..voice?”
She only nods though, smiling happily while she picks him apart. “Mhm, the tone is more forced, about a half octave lower than usual. And your foot has been tapping anxiously ever since you sat down in an irregular rhythm of about ¾. You’re nervous about this job, and not only that, there's a hint of desperation in your tone as well, hidden but not invisible. You need to do this job for some reason. Hence, you withholding information.”
And Chuuya is stunned, absolutely positively stunned. No fucking way. She clocked him immediately. It was terrifying, how she picked him apart like nothing. What else did she notice that she hadn’t outright pointed out? Shit, he was in over his head.
He couldn’t deny it anymore, it was for sure. “How..how did you..”
Asa only beams at that, picking her teacup back up again and taking a sip. “Ah, it’s talent really, or a curse depending on the day. If I took my glasses off I’d be able to read you more but I know they freak you out.”
She taps her large dorky glasses to enhance her point and Chuuya shivers, remembering her cold dead, lifeless eyes behind the lenses. He didn’t want to know what she was capable of without those things on.
The silence hangs in the air for a couple seconds more before Asa breaks it. “Well either way, I won’t be able to help you. I’m sorry.”
Blinking in disbelief, Chuuya gasps, leaning forward. “W-What? Why the hell not? I thought you’d jump at a chance to beat up some bastards like last time.”
Her smile turns sad at that. “Oh believe me, I do love a good fight but I can’t be that close to the mafia. For..personal reasons.”
Personal reasons? What the hell did that mean, and why did she look so sad about it? Chuuya didn’t know, but it seemed like whatever it was she wasn’t going to budge on it.
You’ve got to be kidding me, she was his best shot.
Grumbling at the rejection, Chuuya’s eyes glance back to the stack of bandages on the table before narrowing. Her personal reason must have something to do with that bastard.
He did say the last place he wanted his girlfriend to be was in the mafia but the ginger thought he was just being possessive. Perhaps it was more than that. “Because of Dazai?”
Yet he was surprised when she simply shook her head. “No..not because of him.”
Wait, if it wasn’t because of Dazai then why didn’t she want to be in the mafia? It seemed to be the perfect place for her, to nurture her fucked up and psychotic desires and interests. It didn’t make any sense to him.
Either way, she wasn’t going to help him, he wasn’t going to complete this job and become an executive to find his family. The realization was earth shattering, his heart sinking inside his chest and dropping his head.
She was his only shot of getting this done and now it was nearly impossible.
Yet that’s when he hears Asa’s voice, the tone softer than usual as she leans forward and puts a hand on his shoulder in reassurance. “Why is this job so important to you, Chuuya?”
It was the first time she had used his first name, but he hardly realized it, too lost in his own thoughts. He doesn’t want to tell her, he doesn't want her to know how empty he is, how broken.
Shaking his head, he dismisses her urge to get him to open up. “It’s for the port mafia, it’s important for us..”
But Asagao is smart, far too smart then he wants her to be, her fingers giving his shoulders a small squeeze in response. “You wouldn’t come ask me if it was only for the port mafia. This is personal.”
Cursing under his breath at her stupid talent of reading people, he runs his hands through his hair before giving up. It wasn’t going to work if he held shit back anyways.
He’s going to have to tell her, whether he likes it or not. “It’s for me, okay? I need to get this damn mission done, so the boss will make me an executive.”
He hears her voice grow surprised but he refuses to look. “An executive? Like Samu?”
Chuuya only nods, his own fingers gripping into his hair and pulling on it. He hates talking about this, especially with her. “Yeah, I need it. It’s the only way the boss will let me into a file to..to find my family.”
Once again, he hears her curious voice. “Your family..”
Gritting his teeth, he feels his lips form words against his permission. “Yeah, I don’t..I don’t remember them. Anything about them. I don’t even know if I have a damn family, that's why..I need to know..”
The air is quiet again and he absolutely hates it. Out of everyone, why is it her that has to find out about his family, about his weakness? He feels disgusting, weak, pouring his heart out to a girl without one.
But he couldn’t lie. Not to her. He wanted to, but it was impossible, she’d read him anyway. God, this silence was suffocating, it was like he couldn’t even breathe, crushed by his own inadequacy.
Although that’s when he hears her speak, and it’s small, emotional. “It’s like a black hole, an empty carven that you are desperately trying to fill. A part of you is missing without them, so you cling to anything you can, including that file. That’s why you need it, why you need to complete this mission, right?”
And Chuuya pauses before lifting his head to look at her this time. She had read him again, but this time it felt different, more personal, like she understood.
But how could she understand? How could she comprehend the loss of his own blood, the family he never knew and so desperately wished to?
But little did he know, Asa knew that feeling extremely well, more than anyone else.
And her heart bled for him. She didn’t want anyone to experience the emptiness she felt, the one her big brother Oda left behind. It hurt, more than anyone could ever imagine, that gaping hole of nothingness, the blank space that they both so desperately wanted to fill in more than anything.
And she promised Ango she wouldn’t run to the mafia, she told Dazai that she would walk a different path then the hellhound association she was created to be, she wanted to stay true to her brother’s wish to keep her out of this life...
But that look in Chuuya’s eyes, that sad awful familiar look, made her waver.
It made her start to consider a very dangerous idea.
The ginger doesn’t sense the conflict in her though, his mind too occupied by his own thoughts, his skin crawling with a vulnerability he rarely ever shows. It was like Asagao had stripped him down to his bare heart and he hated it.
Asagao then looks away for a moment, as if debating something he doesn’t understand before speaking again, into the space. “If I were to help you, what would you give me?”
At that, Chuuya immediately snaps his head to her. Wait, she was thinking about helping him? No way. It was like a ray of hope flickered to life at her very statement.
And he knew it didn’t matter what she asked for, he would give it to her.
He was that desperate.
Desperate to find out his family, desperate to know if he was truly human or just a monster underneath it all. He needed to know the answer to the thing he was secretly terrified of.
But he was still wary, she had the power right now and he was sure she’d use it extensively. “What do you want?”
Asagao hums at that before tilting her head in curiosity. “What are you offering?”
He pauses at that. What could he possibly offer this psycho that she’d actually agree with? It had to be something she wanted or else she’d probably turn him down.
Getting an idea a second later, Chuuya tries to shut it down in his mind. Oh hell no, anything but that. But if that was the only option, he had no choice but to swallow his pride.
It was the one thing she had asked him for and he completely turned her down.
God damn it, he had no choice.
Groaning to himself, Chuuya then sucks in a heavy breath before sealing his fate forever. “I’m offering..my friendship.”
And he hated it when she immediately widened her eyes, her mouth dropping open with shock as she leaned forward and once again evaded his personal space. “W-Wait, you’re serious? We can be friends??”
Resisting the urge to take it back, he nods, leaning back to get some space. “...yes. We can be friends.”
Asagao then gasps before immediately standing up, outstretching her hand, like sealing the deal with the devil itself. “Deal! You got yourself one Asagao! Congrats!”
He’s stunned at that, blinking in disbelief, his mind reeling in a million different directions. “W-What? You’ll help? But you said..”
She only smiles though, waving her hand away like she had forgotten her reservations even though they were so important before. “Ah, it’s fine it’s fine, it’s only one mission right? And I gotta help my brand new friend!”
Looking down for a second, Asagao then paused before a flash of a very familiar bandaged boy flashed in her head, her lips tingling with memory from a certain kiss only for her to blush and turn around away from him for a second, muttering under her breath. “Besides, I could use a distraction..”
Yet before he could question it, the frantic auburn haired girl slaps her cheeks twice to snap her out of something before turning back around with a smile. “Anyways, what are you waiting for? Shake my head already, Chu Chu! Let’s make our agreement official!”
Outstretching her hand again, Asa wiggles her fingers to coax Chuuya as he looks at it, a sense of hope and dread in his stomach.
This was it, if he shook her hand there was no going back, he knew it.
It felt like a contract with a demon, a scary unpredictable demon wearing the disguise of a cute red haired girl and something inside him told him that if he grabbed her hand, he would never be able to get away.
That this would seal his fate, for better or for worse.
But somehow, he lifted his hand outwards in a resigned fate. Consequences be damned, he needed her. “Fine. You have a deal. Just don’t expect me to be all chummy with you or some shit..”
Asa only beams though, shaking his hand joyfully, so much so he thinks his arm is going to fall off. “Oh, don’t worry about that! I promise, I’ll be the best friend in the entire world! You know, I’ve never had a friend before, this is the best day ever!”
Chuuya can’t help but mutter under his breath at her comment. “I can’t imagine why..”
He meant it as an insult, knowing fully well why no one ever stuck around. No one could probably keep up with her brand of crazy, except for Dazai that is.
Asagao only nods though, a finger to her chin in silent contemplation. “Yeah, I don’t know either. But you know Chu Chu, I would’ve done it without the bribe.”
At that, Chuuya felt his eyes widen, seeing red immediately.
Excuse me? What the hell did she just say?! She didn’t need a bribe, she would’ve said yes without him offering up his stupid friendship?? He didn’t have to do that?!
Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.
Standing up with his fists clenched, the boy shouts, absolutely livid. “You didn’t need the bribe?!”
Asa only shrugs though, pissing him off more. “Mmm nope, just wanted to see if you’d offer me anything good. And you did! It was a good one too, thanks for that.”
Feeling his eye twitch, it took everything within him not to ring her neck. He was absolutely played, just like when they first met. That shady little bitch.
He hated her, he absolutely hated her.
Asagao then beams before turning around, gesturing for him to follow her as she skips towards the door, very happy with herself for her deception. “Now then, come on new best friend, let’s start this mission!”
Best friend…she called him her best friend. She was already pushing her luck, he said friend not best friend. God, he didn’t know how he was going to do this.
A part of him wanted to call off the whole thing right then and there but he withheld, just barely, chanting a mantra in his head, one he was hoping would get him through this awful horrible mission. I need her, I can’t kill her. I need her, I can’t kill her.
I need her, but damn it..
I want to kill her.
It turns out once Asagao got to the front door leading outside, she remembered something important, muttering something about having to change and get something so Chuuya just gave her the address to the Flags base and left without her.
Which honestly he was thankful for because he didn’t know if he could take another second of her, and if he was forced to walk side by side with her all the way into port mafia territory he probably would’ve drowned her in the nearby river before they got there.
Getting to the familiar base, Chuuya put his finger up to his temple to quell his pounding headache. He seemed to get those after every unpleasant interaction with Dazai’s crazy ass girlfriend.
He stepped into the base, sighing only for Piano Man to notice his distress, smirking as he strolls up to his fellow member. “Hey Chuuya, there you are. Did you get that replacement for Dazai you were talking about?”
Closing his eyes in defeat, the ginger sighed. “Yeah, she’ll be here soon, unfortunately.”
At his words, Lippman raised his brow, strolling forward like the flirt he was. “Did you just say girl? Way to go Chuuya! Is she hot?”
The boy only rolled his eyes though. “Don't start, you pervert. She’s my age.”
Lippman’s shoulders slumped at that, disappointment across his face. Just when he thought he had a new bit of eye candy to look at. He had no interest in kids. That was gross. “Ugh, seriously? You got me excited for nothing.”
The man then began to pout only for Albatross to pat his back once in amusement. “It’s alright man, I’m sure this kid is something special if she can substitute for Dazai. Isn’t that right Chuuya? I can’t wait to meet her!”
Albatross was always the optimist, but his words of interest only made Chuuya groan more, his fingers pinching his nose in clear exhaustion. “Look guys, there’s something you need to know before you meet her. Yeah she can fill in for that bastard but she’s just as batshit insane as him.”
The flags all look at each other in surprise. Just as crazy as Dazai? That was quite the statement. They didn't think anyone could be as nuts as the infamous demon prodigy. He was a breed in itself.
Piano Man turns his head in concern at that. “What do you mean?”
Chuuya then opens his mouth before shutting it right after. What could he even say, how could he describe someone as unhinged as Asagao? He honestly didn’t know. It was like simple words didn’t do her justice, and he meant that in the most derogatory way possible.
Yet that’s when the door knocks and the ginger mafioso groans. Well, they were going to find out for themselves, whether they liked it or not. “You’ll see.”
Walking over to the door, Chuuya then takes a breath before opening it only to find Asagao’s smiling face, her body bouncing up and down like she can’t contain herself as she brushes past the boy to make herself inside without being invited in.
Of course she did, he’s not even surprised anymore.
And the Flags are certainly surprised when the small cute red haired girl with large dorky glasses hops into the room, her mouth dropped open in awe and wonder as she looks around like a kid in a candy shop. “Whoaaa, a real life mafia base. This is so cool!’
Piano Man can’t help but chuckle at her childish energy. “Someone’s excited.”
Hearing his voice, Asagao then turns and gasps before racing up to the group, a goofy smile on her lips as she outstretches her hand. “Oh, hello! Nice to meet you! You must be Chuuya’s friends! I’m Asagao but you can call me Asa if you’d like. Lots of people do! Oh, I’m just so excited to be here, really!”
The Flags stood in silence for a moment at her overload of energy. They didn’t get that much in the mafia so seeing her so smiley and hyper was unexpected, causing Albatross to laugh and speak first. “You sure got a lot of energy kid, I like it!”
Asa beams at that. “Thanks, I get that alot!”
Lippman can’t resist ruffling her hair in response. “Yeah, you’re a cutie! Like a little puppy!”
Piano Man laughs at his friend's comment before speaking. “So, you’re the one that’s here to help us with Dazai’s part of the plan for the mission?”
She claps her hands at that, bouncing up and down once more. “Yes! Chu Chu told me all about it and I’m here to help!”
The Flags look at each other and can’t help but snicker at that cute nickname she gave the grumpy ginger who looked like he was two seconds from punching her a couple feet away.
Covering his lips with his hand, Lippman smirks at that. “Ah, so Chu Chu recruited you?”
Chuuya balled his fists at that, unable to keep quiet as he glared at the flashy idiot. “Don’t call me that, bastard or I’ll knock out your teeth! And you..”
He pointed to Asa. “I told you to quit it with that stupid ass name already!”
She only pouts at that though. “Whaaa? But it’s cute Chu Chu!”
Albrotss nods in agreement, enjoying the joke of making fun of him. “Yeah Chu Chu , it’s really cute! It offsets your grumpy personality!”
The ginger had enough though, stepping forward and pointing a finger at all of them. “Shut the hell up! It’s not cute, it’s fucking annoying! I swear if you say it one more time..”
Asagao then completely cuts him off, her voice giddy. “Oh! Speaking of which, I almost forgot, I have a surprise for you!”
Racing forward up to Chuuya, she then reaches into her pocket before smiling. “Lift out your arm Chu Chu! It will be worth it, I promise!”
He highly doubted that but he didn’t have much of a choice, lifting his arm up with a groan before Asa beams, taking something out and placing it around his wrist. “Ta Da! Do you love it? I made it special for you, to celebrate our new friendship!”
Chuuya then looks down to find a small handmade beaded bracelet on his wrist, the small white beads spelling out “CHUUYA” in black letters surrounded before smaller orange beads.
It was childish, like a kid’s craft on the first day of summer camp, definitely not something a mafioso should be wearing. Just what the hell was she thinking? Why did she make him something so dumb?
They weren’t even really friends.
Asa only seemed overjoyed though, bouncing on her heels with her eyes practically sparkling behind her glasses. “Well, do you love it, or do you really love it??”
Chuuya opened his mouth to tell her how stupid it was, only for Albatross to lean over with another barely suppressed snicker, enjoying this scene fully. “Aw, that's really cute Chu Chu ..”
Feeling his eye twitch at the nickname, the ginger hisses. “Shut up.”
Lippman can’t resist joining in either, glancing at the cutesy bracelet before whining. “What? No fair, where’s mine?”
Asagao only laughs though, clapping her hands together with excitement as she thinks of an idea. “Oh! I could make more if you want. I don’t mind. Then we could all have matching bracelets! Oh, that would be so fun! Like a real dream team!”
The Flags all glance at each other at that, smiling in amusement. This girl was something else, definitely way different than the usual kinds of people near the mafia. It’s like she didn’t have an evil bone in her entire body. How cute.
Tilting his head, Piano Man looks at her with amusement. You know, mafioso don’t wear friendship bracelets usually.”
Asa only shrugs though, clearly ignoring the unspoken rule of the mafia . “Aw, but why not? It could be like something to remember this job by.”
Lippman snorts at that, enjoying her innocent demeanor. “It's hard to argue with that logic.”
And it’s not just Lippman, it seemed everyone was getting a kick out of Asagao’s strange and overly excited way of looking at things, so much so that it made Chuuya groan internally and externally.
This girl, she really had everyone wrapped around her finger too easily. The way she smiled sweetly and pretended to be such a sweet innocent girl when Chuuya had seen her tear people apart and manipulate them with a flick of her wrist was absolutely infuriating.
If only they knew how much of a demon she actually was.
It pissed him off, all of his friends discrediting her as a sixteen year old kid when he could bet she was doing all this on purpose. He wouldn’t put it past her if she was perfectly crafting her responses for these guys to fawn over her.
Meanwhile, while the group is chatting, Albatross and Lippman stroll over to the assassin of the group, Iceman whos’ sitting in the corner observing the interaction, a lazy smile on Albatross’ lips.
The guy wasn’t the most social butterfly after all. Ever stoic. “Hey Iceman, come say hi to our new honorary Flag for the night. She’s a bundle of joy, huh?”
Lippman nods in agreement, focusing on his friends’ frown and downturned brows. “Yeah, quit glaring over there. You’re not being very welcoming.”
But that only made Iceman narrow his eyes even more, staring at the seemingly innocent red haired girl who was laughing with the rest of the group before speaking flat.“ I don’t like her.”
Lippman couldn’t help but raise an eye at that. He knew Iceman was wary of others given his profession but..this girl? She didn’t seem like the usual kinds of people the guy was skeptical of.
Tilting his head, the ladies man replies. “What do you mean? She’s adorable.”
Iceman is silent for a moment, just staring at Asa’s seemingly carefree expression before sighing and looking away. “I don’t know. She feels..off somehow. I don’t know how yet.”
And being an assassin Iceman was quite good at reading people and this girl, there was something more to her, he could tell. Perhaps it was in the way she smiled a bit too bright or how she disregarded the social norms of the mafia by gifting Chuuya a cutesy friendship bracelet but there was something..
Then, as if to prove his skepticism, Iceman watched from across the room as Asagao seemingly shifted her eyes from the conversation to the assassin for a split second, almost as if she noticed him staring at her before her lips curved into a small smirk for a millisecond and turning back around.
Almost like she was taking amusement in the fact he was wary of her.
Oh yeah, there was definitely something. Iceman was sure of it.
And he was determined to find out just what it exactly was.
Asagao then speaks up to the group, clapping her hands together in excitement for the night ahead of them. “So what kind of mission are we doing? I’m dying to know!”
Piano Man laughs at her enthusiasm, though he’s a little nervous about letting such a small girl join them on a dangerous job. “Well, someone’s been killing off our men and we have to figure out who. You think you’re up for it, kid? It’s not going to be easy.”
Asa doesn't seem bothered though, putting her arms up in a cheer. “Oh yeah! I’m totally in, I love a good mystery!”
Goraning in irritation, Chuuya then turns towards the door, eager to get rid of her as quickly as possible. “Let’s just get this over with, we're wasting time. Keep up or I’m leaving you behind, idiot.”
The Flags all beam at that, used to the boy’s behavior before then follow him out and towards the job as Asagao quickly pulls out her phone before scrolling through her contacts to find Dazai’s number and smile softly.
She knows she’s in dangerous territory, that she couldn’t let anyone find out she’s so close to the mafia but helping her friend came first.
But she had never had a friend before, no one could ever stomach her that long so the fact that Chuuya had offered her such a precious thing, she wasn’t going to take that for granted. She’d do anything to make him an executive and get him that file about his family.
Even if it meant going against everything her big brother ever wanted for her.
Besides, it was only for one night, one mission. Like a cinderella spell. Once the clock hit midnight she’d go back to being a normal girl again, not a bloodthirsty assassin.
What Samu didn’t know didn’t kill him, right?
She’d be back before he returned from his trip.
Then she sends him a small text before putting it back in her pocket in order to hurry up and catch up to the group.
Miss you, Samu. Come back soon.
*peeks around the corner* hey...hey ya'll, how you doing? *nervous laugh*
Long story short, my laptop broke and I haven't been able to update for the longest time rip. But I hope this chapter was worth the wait! 2024 was kinda a shit show to be honest but I'm hoping 2025 will be better. I aim to finish this story this year so fingers crossed! I'm not going to say I will upload more because every time I do something bad happens I will not say that *cries* but I really really really want to finish this, with all my heart! I will push past the A03 curse!
But eyyy! We have the chaotic Chuuya and Asa team up you've been waiting for! Poor girl just wants a friend but goes about it all wrong and Chuuya can't stand her. But I think she'll grow on him soon, whether he likes it or not! These next chatpters will feed into storm bringer and don't worry Dazai won't be away for long! We just need some Chuuya/Asa friendship first before he comes back
And Asagao knows it's dangerous for her to accept this mission but she truly is loyal to the people she cares about, and she relates to Chuuya's desperation to be an executive because while he can find out information about his family, she can't do that since her brother is dead.
I see every comment you all send me, every re-read and encouragement for me to keep going has pushed me through to upload for you guys. Thank you so much for the support I love you all. See you soon!
My favorite type of Dazai/ Dazai head canon is that he thinks he’s the controller in a relationship but it’s actually the opposite and he’s just a lovesick fool that would do anything to get his S/O’s attention.
They seem focused on something else? Almost instantly Dazai feels his hands twitch with the worst withdrawal of his life. His need to be wanted by something in this shitty life causing him to bend backwards and say even the most shameless things to get you to focus on him again.
And you know that everyone around you tries to warn you about the demon, fearing that Dazai is manipulating you because of his twisted past but you have this boy so wrapped around your finger that if you ever did tell him to do something, he wouldn’t even hesitate. He would kill for you if you truly desired it. Man has absolutely no shame.
The first time he allows you to change his bandages becomes like a drug for him, so much so that Dazai resorts to “accidentally” spilling coffee on them everyday just so he can have your soft gentle fingers cradle him and treat him like the most precious thing in the universe. For once he feels protected for the first time, he can never go back.
Before you Dazai would always remain in power, especially in terms of intimate relationships, always priding himself as the seducer but never becoming the seduced. He strives in being the puppeteer but after every kiss with you he finds himself begging for more, even getting on his knees if it means he can taste that sweet piece of heaven one more time.
For Dazai may claim that he is in control but I think we all know who really holds the reigns on the demon, and it isn’t him. 🤭
Summary: The one thing Dazai craved more than anything was for him to be wanted by someone to be needed until he was the center of their entire world. So when that suddenly goes away, the boy frantically does everything and anything to get it back, even exposing a part of himself that has alway been so impossibly scary. But if it made Odasaku's sister look at him again, then it was worth it.
Chapter 20: "Let's Kiss and Find Out"
Summary: As both Dazai and Odasaku's little sister share in one nightly overindulge, feelings and words become messy, revealing the true intentions of the demon prodigy and the shame that comes with it. And when she trusts the demon with a kiss, Dazai wonders how he can possibly honor Odasaku's wish when he clearly desires to ruin her.
Warnings: pm!sixteen year old dazai, underage drinking, forced kiss talk, consensual kiss, messed up views about touch/sex but not in detail, death, murder, suicide mentions, manipulation on both sides, odasaku death mentions, dazai being a simp and a clingy baby boy, dazai's port mafia black soul is prominent here, dazai is also a little bottom bitch here for real.
(This is chapter nineteen and twenty of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. I'll link the master list below so you can get the full story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)
Master List Here
A03 Here
Work Count: 18k (long one for you)
Chapter 19:
"I Want To Be Your Entire World"
Asagao didn’t talk much on the way back to Oda’s apartment and Dazai could immediately tell the difference between her usual over exaggerated demeanor and this new placid one. And to be completely honest, he didn’t like the latter at all.
Mostly because he was used to the girl talking his ear off about random things and ideas while he dragged her along the streets of Yokohama, the tone of her voice always so happy to be in the moment with him, wherever it was.
She was like a golden retriever in that aspect, always annoying and always eager for his attention. And though Dazai hated dogs, he liked always being the center of her world in every single aspect. It fed into his selfish and self centered desire to be wanted, to be needed by another person.
But right now, her center wavered, the girl not looking around at all in order for her eyes to stay trained to her feet as he dragged her by the wrist and into the apartment.
Dazai felt the loss immediately, the boy’s fingers growing fidgety like the worst withdrawal of his life. She’d hadn’t looked at or acknowledged him once and it was starting to make him feel anxious and twitchy.
He didn’t realize how badly he relied on her attention until it had been taken away like this. Now he wanted to do anything and everything to get it back, to make those eager, waiting, pretty little expressions of hers to focus back on him like the simp she was.
I mean, she said that he was her lifeline, right? He was the reason that she was in Yokohama, looking for her big brother in his stories. So why was she now treating him so insignificantly like any old stranger on the street?
No, he hated that, he didn’t want to be a stranger, he wanted to remain her entire world.
Watching her wordlessly close the door behind her, Asa then quietly slipped from her grip before sitting down at her usual spot by the table in order to lay her head on the surface with a suppressed groan.
The boy then let out a sigh of his own, Dazai knowing immediately where the disconnect stemmed from. It was that stupid slugs fault, he was the one that made her act so out of character and distant.
And the executive had mixed feelings about Chuuya’s stupid reaction to Asagao. Sure, he expected the ginger to not take well to her manipulative tendencies but it seemed like his darling had put too much faith into a guy with barely two working brain cells.
Of course Chuuya wouldn't have understood her, he wasn’t smart enough to do so. Asagao was a unique being, an acquired taste that was rejected by most people in the world so of course the slug wouldn’t be able to see just how special she is.
But it seemed like Asagao expected too much from the idiot, thinking that he could and now she was doomed to live with the inevitable devastation of disappointment that came afterwards.
It was her fault for doing so, for thinking that Chuuya would understand her in the same kind of capacity that Dazai could.
Yet in a sick sort of messed up way, Dazai was happy that this was the result, because that meant that he wasn’t going to be replaced. She wasn't going to go off with Chuuya instead and leave him alone in the dark.
That slugs reaction had helped him in the long run, and even though Asa was sad about it, he was glad. If she was happy about their meeting and Chuuya actually gave her a chance then who knows what could’ve happened?
Dazai didn’t like to think about that, about the possibility of that hat rack taking her away to a place he could never reach.
No, Chuuya couldn’t be her center, he couldn’t be her lifeline.
That was his job.
And Dazai knew he wouldn’t have been able to bear seeing her shift her attention elsewhere, to not be able to see the absolute adoration and attachment he always did whenever she looked at him.
Moving over to the table silently, Asa didn’t stir at all, causing Dazai’s lips to curve down into a bothered frown.
He wanted to help her, mostly for himself so that he could gain that familiar acknowledgment once more, but how? How could he snap her out of her Chuuya based depression?
Making someone feel better wasn’t really his specialty, after all. In fact, the demon only knew how to give the opposite effect so this was new territory. Sure, he knew how to manipulate someone to happiness but Asagao wasn’t one to fall for his usual tricks so that wasn’t going to work. It had to be genuine.
Yet the more he stared at her, the more the sixteen year old kid felt at a loss. What did normal people say or do in this kind of circumstance? He didn’t know. The port mafia didn’t ever educate him on mushy things like this.
Dazai then flipped through his memory, searching for something that could possibly help him. He may have not known how to go about this but perhaps there was someone else's experience that he could steal from.
That’s when his eyes flashed towards the small liquor cabinet to his left in order for a sharp painful grief to course through him without permission.
Ah, that’s right. That’s what Odasaku would’ve done.
Asagao only groaned from under her arms though, the words of rejection pounding through her head over and over again. She made such an embarrassment of herself, and in front of Chuuya also. Now he’ll never want to be her friend.
Honestly serves her right for thinking that in the first place. Asa didn’t have friends and she was foolish to think she could. Who would ever want to be close to a freak like her anyways?
Damn it, she really hated herself right now.
Yet that’s when she heard the small clink of glass together only for Asa to lift her head up in confusion to find Osamu holding two empty cups between his fingers, the objects outstretched out towards her with silent question.
Staring at the clear colored glass, her eyes couldn’t help but soften. He knew she needed this, huh? Was it really that obvious? “Thanks Osamu..”
She then grabbed the glass on the left before placing it on the table as Dazai quickly did the same with his in order to pull out a large bottle of whiskey from the cabinet behind him. “Pick your poison.”
Asa only lifted her glass up in response though. “Just whatever you’re having is good.”
Nodding once, Dazai then popped the top of the bottle before pouring the amber colored liquid into both of their glasses and sitting down beside her quietly as she swirled the alcohol around absentmindedly.
Dazai was the one that spoke first, his voice slightly apprehensive for the personal subject. “Odasaku would always take me out for a drink wherever I had something I wanted to forget.”
He was explaining his actions, it was obvious. Asa could tell, he wanted her to know why he had offered her the alcohol in the first place. This was probably the only method of coping he knew how to do, not that she minded though. The girl was no stranger to this toxic way of dealing with her problems either.
Smiling sadly into the glass, Asa thought about the sentence. Her brother's methods were always so dismissive, weren’t they? He didn’t outwardly talk about his problems, just took himself to a place where he could disappear from it.
It wasn’t the best method out there but because it was Oda’s she couldn’t help but indulge in the same to feel close to him. “Well then, let’s not leave him hanging, right?”
Lifting her glass up towards the liquor cabinet, Dazai’s eyes moved to the sight before his own expression softened with understanding. “Right.”
Then the boy carefully picked out another glass before turning to the spot where his best friend used to occupy between the two kids. It was an unspoken rule that neither of them sat there, for good reason. They didn’t have the right to.
Placing the object in the middle of the table, Dazai then carefully lifted the bottle of whiskey before pouring an equal amount of liquor with a quiet mutter. “Here you go, Odasaku.”
And even though Oda would never occupy in that space again, the slightly full glass of whiskey made it feel like his presence hadn’t fully disappeared from the place.
Dazai was thankful that she mentioned it, because now the air didn’t feel as foreign and empty as before.
Nodding once at the gesture, Asa then took a long sip of her drink before sighting out heavily. “Hey Osamu, what do you think I did wrong back there?”
He knew what she was talking about immediately, their plan to fool Chuuya. “I didn’t see anything wrong, love. Chibi is just an idiot. Ignore him. That’s what I do.”
That seemed easier said than done though, the girl quickly downing the rest of her drink before flopping onto the surface of her table with a loud groan. “Maybe I should’ve acted more normal. He might’ve liked me then.”
Dazai couldn’t help scoff at that though, the words bitter on his tongue. What the hell was she saying? What was the point if she just pretended to be any other bitch?
Sure, maybe it would’ve made her easier for Chibi to digest but then she’d be striping the most enticing parts about herself.
The boy didn’t keep her around all this time because she was normal. Yes, she was Odasaku’s sister and regardless of her personality he would have probably still had some kind of relationship with her but Dazai was absolutely positive that it wouldn’t have been as extensive as it was now if she was boring like all the rest.
Her originality and unique mindset was what kept him entranced and taking that part away from her was like destroying the real Asagao. Who cares if Chuuya and everyone else preferred the water down version of her, that wasn’t real.
Changing herself to be more easily received was the worst choice she could ever make. Then she’d be like everyone else, boring, predictable and easily disposable.
Waving the idea away with disgust, Dazai frowned. “Don’t bend yourself over backwards for a stupid slug. Your non-normality is the best part about you, love.”
And he hated how she couldn’t see it, that she couldn’t recognize the same things that Dazai did. It was obvious from the disconnected look in her face. “Well, I hate to break to you, Samu but I don’t know if you’re the best person to say that. You aren’t normal either.”
Gasping dramatically in response, Dazai then shoved a hand over his non-existent heart before leaning backwards like he had been shot with the worst kind of bullet imaginable. “Ah, my heart! I’m wounded. You’re so cruel, Asa-chan.”
Asa was used to his antics though, the girl simply shaking her head with dismissal. “I’m just saying that most people don’t think like that. I just forgot how they usually react, I forgot that no one else is as understanding as you. Not even Chuuya..”
It was a fact she had chosen to admit from her mind until now. Osamu was a wonder but he wasn’t like everyone else. Besides, his viewpoint and upbringing were just as fucked up as hers was so of course they related to each other.
But everyone else wasn’t the same, and no matter how many times she realized that it still stung all the same. The truth was, she was unfinished project, never good enough to blend in and yet never evil enough to say fuck it and not care about the worlds opinion.
Either way she was an outlier.
She then paused when Osamu spoke back to her, his uncovered eye trained to his drink before taking a causal sip. “You know what I think, love?”
Glancing back to him in return, the boy then added plainly. “Anyone that only accepts the watered down version of you is pointless, because that’s not the real you anyways, and lying to yourself just to be something you aren’t isn’t going to make you happy, is it?”
His words caused a heavy hole to rupture into her chest. He had a point, if she pretended to be someone else in order to get approval than what was the point? That’s not what she really wanted.
Becoming someone fake was possible, sure, but also impossibly exhausting. Soon enough they’d figure out what a freak she was, just like Chuuya did. “No, I guess not..”
Then she watched Osamu simply shrug his shoulders before placing the glass back on the table with a wave of his hand. “Well then, screw them. If they can't see the beauty that I see then let them stay blind..”
At that, Asagao felt her eyes widen as she almost choked on her drink.
Beauty? He saw beauty in her? No impossible, that’s the last thing she was. He was just flirting with her per usual. That had to be it. No one had ever called her remotely beautiful before.
Still, if he was authentic it was a nice sentiment, and the way he proclaimed it didn’t feel like a lie. But if that was true then she still wouldn’t have known how to take it. Then again, this was Osamu she was talking about, the best womanizer in the universe.
Ah, what was she doing? She needed to stop thinking about it so much. They weren’t even in a real relationship. He had no reason to mean that. It had to be just an offhanded compliment, something he said to hundreds of girls.
Dazai then grumbled to himself before lifting his arms up dramatically in order to flare them around in explanation. “Especially Chuuya, screw Chuuya the most. Throw him off a building or something..”
Giving her a small wink and an eyebrow wiggle, the boy then propped his head into his hands before giving her a sly flirtatious smile. “Either way, you have someone much better looking around anyways.”
And whether he had meant it as a joke or not, Asagao’s lips couldn’t help but curve into a smile as a light chuckle escaped her lips for his dramatic flare. He was so silly sometimes, she couldn’t get enough.
Brightening up immediately, Dazai then leaned his entire body closer to her, his waist leaning against the table before pointing in her direction. “Ahh, I hear a laugh! There’s my girl..”
Then all at once, Asagao’s face instantly turned red, her head sharply turning away from him before shaking it to hide the hue.
There it was again, that phrase. That was the second time he called her his girl.
He had to stop doing that, she didn’t know how to take it.
Placing her hands over her entire face in order to calm herself, Dazai only frowned at the reaction, his body practically throwing itself over the table with an over the top gasp. “Wait, you’re not laughing cause you think I’m ugly, right? Cause I’m clearly not, I mean look at my face, how could you call me anything less than the handsomest man you’ve ever met? Way better than that slug, Chibi. Right, right? Come on, tell me that's not it. Asa-channnn…”
He then pointed to his face in question, before watching the girl shake her head under her hands, his whine only making her laugh even more in order to feel the heat throughout her entire face. “No no, it's not. You’re right. I don’t know what I was so sad about. I clearly already found the best guy that understands me.”
Turning his head upside down, to try to decipher her expression, Dazai coaxed. “And the most handsomeee…?”
Asagao then smiled through her laugh, her fingers threatening to slip from her face. “Yes Samu, and the most handsome.”
The boy wasn’t done though, blinking once before questioning again. “More handsome than Chuuya..?”
Finally letting go of her face, Asa stared at the floor only for her eyes to soften. He was playing this off but he was really worried about it, wasn’t he? He wanted validation, reassurance of his place and she had no problem in giving it to him.
So against her nerves, the girl then sighed to herself before turning back to the waiting boy, allowing him to see the flustered and reddened cheeks on her face in order to give him physical proof that he was the only one that could give such a response.
Then she spoke, allowing her feelings of admiration to shine through. “No one could ever replace you in my eyes, Samu. Not even as the most handsome.”
Watching his eyes practically sparkle with validation, Dazai then gasped once more before reeling back from the table, his hand reapplying to his heart, except this time instead of acting like he was shot, he acted like he had gotten hit by cupid himself.
The boy then fell onto the floor unusually before rolling around like a wiggly worm, his voice fast and giddy. “Ah! You agreed, you called me handsome! See, I know you have to down bad for me, Asa-chan. So scandalous. You’re even blushing, Aww how cute! What an adorable little darling I have. I can’t take it!”
His display couldn’t help but cause Asa to smile under her hand covering her lips leaning over the table to get a better look at the boy’s antics. “I think you have it backwards, Samu. Obviously the cute one right now is you.”
Rolling over to her side, the boy then placed his hands on the skirt of her bloodied dress, hosting his body upwards to balance on her folded legs in order to brush a single finger across the reddend spots on her cheeks. “How could that be possible when you’re the one blushing, love?”
Asa’s eyes widened at his newfound touch, her gaze turning away with newfound embarrassment for her the heat in her cheeks. “A-Ah, sorry. It's just the alcohol..”
Dazai only hummed though, tapping her skin playfully before putting his thumb and forefinger under his chin in a striking pose. “Sure sure, I don’t believe you though. It’s obvious, you can’t get enough of me.”
He was flirting again, joking surely. He was doing that alot tonight for some reason which wouldn’t have been strange but it seemed like Dazai’s personality had yet to switch from the fake lover they agreed upon in order to trick those traitors.
No, he was still doting on her and Asagao didn’t know how to take it. Sure, he was suggestive sometimes but it was never like this. But there was no one around to perform for anymore so why was he still acting like this?
And why was it harder to ignore and dismiss tonight? It had to be the alcohol, making her more aware of him in the most dangerous ways. Just like when he fake kissed her in that elevator back at the port mafia apartments, she was starstruck yet again.
Feeling her anxiety suddenly spike, Asa then blinked back to reality in order to find Osamu’s fingers around the rim of her glasses. Wait, what was he doing? No, she didn’t want to see right now, not after Chuuya’s recent rejection.
The truth was, she was terrified, scared of the same thing repeating itself. And sure, Samu had seen her before but the furious look in the ginger’s eye still haunted her memory even now, enough for her to recoil back inside her traumatized shell.
No, she wouldn't be able to bear it if Osu wore even a sliver of that kind of expression. It would break her in a way she knew couldn’t be repaired. He was her safe space and risking that especially now was something he dreaded more than anything.
So much so, her hand robotically grasped onto his bandaged wrist before pleading pathetically under her breath. “N-No..I can’t right now..”
Dazai felt the tremor under her skin immediately, his voice coaxing and smooth, just like it always was when he wanted something. “You don’t trust me?”
Shaking her head, Asa gripped even tighter than before. “It’s not that..it's just..too fresh..words are one thing but seeing again so soon, it will hurt again, I just know it..”
She was being irrational, she knew she was. Osamu wasn’t Chuuya, but even so she couldn’t help but hesitate. Just an hour ago she was thrown into a full on panic and Asa wasn’t completely sure that wasn’t going to happen again just yet.
Feeling his fingertips bring her back to his gaze, Samu’s touch trailed away from the metal barriers before gently cupping her cheek with reassurance. “It won’t be the same, cause I’m not that slug.”
And Dazai hated the retraction that his stupid partner had brought on. Chuuya was careless and cruel, making her apprehensive of her breathtaking eyes once again. He didn’t blame her for the reaction but now it seemed like that ginger had taken away Dazai's privileges as well.
By rejecting her, Chuuya had always caused Asagao to associate everyone with that same horrible reaction, to put them all in the same inevitable box, even Dazai.
No, he couldn’t have that, he refused to be grouped in with every other insignificant idiot that called her a monster. He wasn’t that simple minded, and though it was trauma that was clouding her real judgment, he still refused even to let that thought ruminate even for a second more.
The words had helped but they weren’t enough, he could tell. She still hadn’t returned to him, she was still drifting to a place that he couldn’t reach fast enough. “But..”
Watching her gaze travel away from him again, the boy felt uneasy. Her center was still wavering, flickering in and out of his perception and he couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t want to be associated with everyone else, he needed to be special.
He needed to be her entire world again.
Dazai was desperate, willing to do anything to stand out from the crowds that Asa had unknowingly pushed him into. No, words weren’t enough, she needed to see firsthand that he was worlds better than Chuuya could ever be.
Sucking in a heavy breath of anxiety, Dazai then slipped his fingers from her cheek to her chin, pulling her focus back on him before running his thumb over her bottom lip as tenderly as he was able to. “Come on, pretty. Let me prove it to you.”
And that seemed to spark something within her, the boy’s feeling her lips tense under his touch before finally letting go on his wrist so that he could slip the large glasses from her face without another word.
Almost instantly, she flinched out of his grip in order to close her eyes and sharply barrel them to the floor instead, metaphorically hiding away from herself before she inevitably got hurt again.
The response only made Dazai’s frown deepen though, feeling the rejection through every single one of his veins. No, this wasn’t enough. He needed to do something that would make her focus back on him, and he needed to do it quickly before the gnawing insecurity dragged him to insanity.
But what could he do to prove his distinction? What could he offer to her that would be enough to have his full and undivided attention again? Sure, he could force her to look at him but that wouldn’t do any good. Like he said before, his actions had to be genuine to shake her.
Tightening the glasses around his anxious fingers, the boy then closed his eyes. She needed to see him, just like she had seen Chuuya. She needed to look at Dazai in the same light, only then would her mind truly distinguish the two.
It was easier said than done though, knowing that the one thing Asa needed was also the one thing that Dazai had been hiding from his entire life. But if it got her to turn back to him, if it made her shift back to making him her everything then it was worth it.
Yes, he was terrified of being perceived, but he was even more terrified of losing her completely, and that was enough for him to make a final decision.
Then before he could change his mind and snap back to common sense, the boy reached down, latching on her wrist once before lifting it upwards to the destination unknown to even Asagao herself.
Vaguely feeling her hand move against her own violation, Asagao squeezed her eyes, willing the pounding headache away as past images of Chuuya’s rejection flooded her senses, suffocating her all over again.
It didn’t matter if he wasn’t here anymore, she could still feel it, that skin crawling horror and recoil through every single one of her muscles in a shaky stutter. Chuuya’s hatred, his disgust, his deplorable loathing, it was everywhere, hurting her with invisible claws and sharp horrible talons.
Why did she agree to do this? She wasn’t ready, she couldn’t breathe, she wanted to disappear forever. She wanted to claw out her own eyes with her shaking fingertips and never have to experience such awful images ever again.
Yet that’s when she felt her hijacked hand touch something familiar, the skin brushing against the unseen notion of gauze before she physically gasped and her own eyes snapped open without a second thought.
No, it couldn’t be.
Skin, she was touching skin. And not just that, the top of her nails had seemingly been enveloped by gauze, laying like a blanket over the surface only for the pads of her fingertips to brush against the outline of an eye.
The feeling was dumbfounding, causing Asagao’s head to physically break out of her own prison before locking her analytical eyes to the sight before her.
Her hand was underneath the bandages on Osamu’s face, he had put it there on purpose. But why? He had never allowed anyone to do that before, especially her.
Growing lightheaded, she then felt Samu’s hand fall from her wrist, leaving her stagnant and giving her complete control of the situation as his shoulders tensed underneath her.
Could it be? Was he giving her permission to remove his safety net, to slip the gauze from his eye and gaze at the one thing he had never allowed up until this point?
No, impossible. Dazai never had that kind of trust, he always made her wear the blindfold before touching him.
Taking a shaky breath, Asa whispered. “S-Samu? Are you sure?”
And from the clearly apprehensive quiver of his lips, he wasn’t. This was probably the scariest thing in the world for him to do and yet he was pushing himself for her. But why? Why would he ever go this far?
She got her answer a second later, his voice just barely audible, like an unsure child pleading for something regardless. “I want you to look at me again.”
And how could she possibly say no to that kind of face? She couldn’t, not when her eyes made it impossible to miss every single drop of desperation and disheartened anguish that laid there.
So much so, Asagao forced her shaky fingers to move, sliding the white colored bandages easily aside since they were already fairly loose from his fiddling in order for the boy to tense up even more as the breeze hit his clammy skin.
The ribboned gauze fell away a second later, causing Asa’s fingers to brush away the falling brown strands in order for her mouth to fall open and the words to dissipate from her lips.
There he was, fully right in front of her, both of his eyes on display for the first time in his life.
And they were beautiful, a picturesque hazel that swarmed with so many secrets and feelings that it caused Asa to physically gasp.
So much so, the girl couldn’t help herself, immediately latching both of her hands on either side of his face before pulling him closer to her and deciphering each section like a drug.
The layers of himself that he kept hidden, the parts that he buried under a chamaeleon of various fake actions and words, they all mixed around in his iris’, threatening to be revealed.
There was a darkness there, floating around the circular edges. Of course there was. That was always the first thing her cursed gaze ever saw, the bad. But this version was almost more sorrowful than scary, making her want to cry rather than run away.
She saw the little boy trapped inside, hiding behind a facade bigger than himself but it was still there. Desperate to be understood and yet terrified of the very notion. A child that only looked towards death in every single circumstance.
There was also fear, apprehension and alarm for what she was doing, for what she was uncovering. But even though his shoulders continued to tense and his jaw shuttered with vulnerability, he didn’t avert his gaze, probably already knowing that it would shatter her with that same rejection if he did so.
And though this was the easiest part of him to reveal to her, that still didn’t make it easy. Sure, his eyes didn’t hold any scarred or unpleasant memories but it was still a part that he kept hidden from the world, a function that he did without in order to preserve the ugly parts of him.
Asagao understood that as well, brushing her thumb on his cheeks in tiny reassuring circles as his eyes shifted into something different, a new layer uncovering from the ether of his many faces.
The fear, the darkness was still there but now there was something else, something that resembled grief, mixed together with a new emotion, flecked in tiny spots but still extremely noticeable for someone like Asa.
He was looking at her with so much admiration, appreciation, wonder, and fixated entrancement. There was no disgust, no rejection or ugly feelings that she had expected. In fact, his face displayed something more on the lines of worship than anything else.
But who could he be worshiping, surely not her, right? It was probably because she wore the face of his best friend and that was who he was admiring. Such strong emotions and feelings couldn't be suited to her in that kind of way.
Yet regardless of the intent, it was nothing like the hot licks of anger that Chuuya had given her. No, Osamu’s eyes held a more solemn air, a desperate and yet calculating aura that contradicted themselves, just like all the parts he forced himself to play.
And whether he had meant it or not, she quickly found herself consumed entirely, unable to think about anything else except the boy in front of her. Any semblance of Chuuya and those horrible feelings was completely gone, replaced by the thousands of stories behind his forlorn hazel expression.
Her head began to spin once again, overloaded by the onslaught of information but not pulling away like before. It was almost like she couldn’t, like she wanted to disappear inside the enigma that was threatening to swallow her whole. It should've hurt, but it didn’t.
For the first time, she didn’t want to look away, she didn’t want the release of her blind barriers in order to decipher every single spec about the withdrawn child that he could allow her to have. She wanted to know everything, to see everything, even the bad.
He had trusted her with such an integral part of himself, allowed her to look into a section of his own insecurities just to make her see that he wasn’t going to reject her like Chuuya had.
It was overwhelming, causing tears to prick the corners of her eyes before finally tearing herself away from the sight in order to bury her head into his shoulder with a shaking breath.
He gave her so much, and she would be forever thankful for it. “T-Thank you.”
Osamu didn’t say anything, his hand simply reaching forward in order to cradle the back of her head silently. But even still, Asa knew what he meant. He was saying your welcome.
Grasping her shaky hands onto his bloodied jacket, Asa then gave a pathetic little sniffle before muttering into the fabric. “Are you staying tonight?”
She then felt his touch disappear from her head in order to pick up the discarded bandages and wrap them back around his eye. “I wish, but Mori will get suspicious if I don’t go back. He’s gonna want a report about tonight.”
Asa could understand that. He had been spending the night more frequently over the last couple months, which meant that eventually the boss would be looking for him, and that was something neither of them wanted.
So she didn’t push it, the girl feeling the sticky blood on her fingers from the fabric of his jacket with a hum. “Okay, but at least let me wash your jacket before you go. Since I know you won’t do it later.”
Sucking in a breath between his teeth, Dazai replied playfully, knowing that she was indeed right. He had a habit of disregarding himself more often than not. “Ouch, Asa-chan. You really got me with that one.”
His body shifted then, allowing Asagao to pull back from the jacket in order place the glasses beside her back onto her face in order to pause at her own appearance.
Ah crap, looks like it wasn’t just Osamu that got messy. Her new dress was also caked with dried blood and dirt from their previous fight. How awful of her to be so careless, especially when Samu had given such a precious gift to her. What kind of fake girlfriend was she?
Forcing herself to stand, Asa frowned at the crimson mess, holding the ends of her skirt in order to try and find each stain and imperfection. “Guess I should probably change also. I’m sorry Samu, you went through all the trouble to get me this beautiful dress and I ruined it. Maybe I could still get some of the stains out though. Let me try...”
Yet that’s when she felt Dazai’s hand grasp her wrist, his voice firm. “Don’t..”
Don’t? Don’t what? What could he possibly mean? What was he trying to stop her from doing? She only wanted to salvage what she could of the dress.
Asa then gasped out a reply, unable to question his strange command as she felt his hand slip to her lower back, pulling her body forward as his un bandaged eye turned towards the tainted teal dress with finality.
And when he spoke, it was deeper, laced in desire. “I like it better like this.”
His tone caught her off guard, suddenly feeling rather self conscious for the way he was looking at her. How could this possibly be better? She probably looked like a disaster right now. Even her hair was all messed up. “A-Are you sure? But it’s not how it’s supposed to look..”
Asa recalled the perfectly placed dress inside of the pink box when she received it. Not a crease was out of place or a wrinkle to be seen. Yet now it was nothing of the sort.
The moment she put on the fabric it seemed to morph into that same messy and imperfect disappointment she had always described herself to be. That by placing the dress on her body, she had unknowingly tainted the normality with it.
Suddenly, all the self doubt seemed to dissipate as Osamu’s hand reached forward, gathering around a wild messy strand of hair before twisting it around in fingers.
Then he lifted the piece to his lips before kissing it softly before speaking with so much honesty that it caused the girl’s heart to tumble with shock. “And that’s what makes it beautiful.”
Feeling her face flush again, Asagao blinked in disbelief. What? What did he just say? He thought this was beautiful, that the imperfect unordinary mess she created was beautiful? No, it couldn’t be. She had ruined it the second it graced her skin, just like she had ruined herself as a child.
And it wasn’t just that, the way he touched her hair and kissed it so gently, it implied that he wasn’t just talking about the dress. But how could that be? Had she really correlated the two things together like she had so easily? Did he see the similarities between her and this dress?
He had to, that’s why he was looking at her so clearly. The bloody dress, the abnormality of her very being, both were the furthest thing from the cookie cutter way that they were supposed to be.
Yet regardless of the expectations, Osamu had just called them both beautiful.
And in a way, it was almost like he was calling her beautiful as well. Just like before, expect this time it was harder to deny the meaning of the phrase.
So much so, Asagao felt her heart pound inside her ears, the heat in her cheeks undeniable as she forced herself to mutter a response. “O-Oh, okay..”
And when he finally let her breathe, Asa’s eyes immediately turned back to the empty liquor glass on the table before internally cursing for the dangerous feelings it had given her.
All of this, the way she was feeling, it was because of the alcohol, right?
It had to be.
Chapter 20:
"Let's Kiss And Find Out"
The plan was only for Dazai to stay until his jacket was dry, yet somehow while in the process of that simple idea the two kids had emptied a full bottle of whiskey and were now giggling like loons on the floor, fully gone from any semblance of sobriety.
They didn’t seem to have a problem with it though, Dazai tossing the empty glass bottle behind him with a drunken hum of dissatisfaction, clearly wanting more. I mean, what else were they supposed to do while they waited? It wasn’t like they could let Odasaku’s good booze go to waste, right?
This wasn’t an unusual occurrence either, the two having indulged in this kind of night many times before. In fact, in the last three or fourth months both Asa and Dazai were no strangers to a drink or two.
Yes, sometimes the location was different, the kids finding themselves on the familiar barstools of Lupin instead of Oda’s apartment but the result was still the same. Yet, this was the first time the teenagers had finished an entire bottle, and the effects were glaringly obvious.
They were usually better about this after all. Careful not to overindulge for fear of what it might bring. But between Asagao’s unpleasant meeting with Chuuya and Dazai’s misjudgement in the plan to bring those traitors down, it seemed both of them had things they wanted to drown out tonight.
Hence, the drunken state they were both in.
One overindulgence, couldn’t hurt right? What was the harm in that?
Righting herself upwards, Asa then flopping the hand of cards in between her fingers on the table before a victorious intoxicated grin slipped onto her lips. “Ha! Got you again! Not so tough now are you, Mr. Super Smart Mafia Man! You’re not as cool as you think you are, huhhh?”
She elongated the last part of her sentence, causing Dazai’s voice to sound in a resonating whine of protest. “Whaa?! No fair, Asa-channnn. I definitely won that one! How did you do that?”
The game was poker, something that the kids played regularly. Dazai had shown her how to play a couple months back during one of their nightly trips to Bar Lupin. It was a game that Odasaku enjoyed, and because of that it was something they picked almost all the time.
Just so they could both feel closer to him.
Asa only hummed though, pushing her hands through her hair in an attempt to look cool.“A winner never reveals their secrets, love. I’m just too good.
Sadly though, the move did anything but that, her fingers immediately getting caught in the wild and messy strands before wiggling them out in an uncoordinated tug and a hiss.
Dazai didn’t seem to care about that though, his eyes narrowing in order to lean closer over the table with an accusatory point of his finger. “Nuh uh. I know what you’re doing. It’s written all over that pretty face of yours.”
Scrambling on his hands and knees in order to crawl over to her, the brown haired dazed boy then sloppy threw his pointer finger straight into the middle of her forehead, his cheeks rosy and flushed. “Righttt there, I can see it. You can’t fool me…even if I keep getting distracted by your stunningly perfect little eyes..it’s still there..”
Yet as soon as he touched her skin, Asa immediately pulled away, leaning back on her folded legs with a pout. “Nooo you dont. You don’t see nothing, Samu.”
Her grammar was completely off but both kids hardly focused on it. It’s not like they could anyways considering they were both unable to recognize the slurs in their speech. Neither one could call the other out to correct it.
And to be honest, Asa was thankful that was the case because it seemed like her mind was far from the malfunction that Osamu had given her while she was tipsy. The self awareness of his flirting didn’t affect her as much now, simply because she couldn’t process more than one thing at a time.
Thank god for that. It made everything so much easier. So much so, drunk Asa tried to make a mental list inside her head before the thought blew away for another. Sober Asagao and Drunk Asagao were fine, but tipsy Asagao, now that was something she needed to look out for.
Because when she was tipsy, she walked the line between reality and fantasy, she was still able to perceive Osamu’s flirty attitude but the loss of sobriety caused her to linger into dangerous ideas, ideas that she knew Samu wasn’t mutual on.
That should’ve grounded her but as soon as the alcohol infused in her system, it fed into delusion, and that was something that she simply couldn’t have. The two were just using each other after all, Osamu’s comments were shallow, she had to remember that.
And although he was still flirting even now, the ratio of whiskey in her system heavily outweighed the ratio of everything else, leaving her in a state of bliss, brushing his sweet nothings off like fluffy clouds of pleasant emotion.
They didn’t process, they didn’t register as much as before, and she was thankful for it all the same.
Wiggling the finger in her face, Dazai waved his bandaged arms in explanation. “Yes I do. I see it. You’re a cheater..a big fat pumpkin eater cheater! Just like Odasaku. You’re swindlin me..”
Asagao gasped immediately, her hands fumbling to her chest before crossing them in fake hurt to what he was implying. “Whaat?! So mean, Samuuu. I would never. I’m playin fair and square. You just suck.”
Sticking her tongue out child-ishly for effect, Dazai’s lips opened with disbelief. “Hey, I don’t suck! I used to beat Odasaku lots of times! Here, I’ll prove it. Deal me another round. I’ll show you this time.”
The grumpy boy then took the cards from her hands before sloppily shuffling them around in order to shove the rectangular deck onto the table next to her with a huff.
He didn’t suck, he’d show her how smart he was, even while being distracted by her pretty face, which was extremely distracting by the way.
Complying immediately, Asa reached for the deck, giving the cards a couple more turns before setting up the game with a drunken hum of a challenge, her tone rather sing song in design. “Aww, looks like Mr. Mafia Man is also a sore loserrr.”
She then slid the two hidden cards over to him before lifting up her own with vague disinterest, more focused on the way Samu’s fingers hovered over the corners in order to turn them towards him.
Asagao then smiled under her breath before wordlessly activating her ability just as the cards lifted up, the girl crawling over and behind the frozen Dazai, trapped in suspended time in order to peer over his shoulder to see his round of cards.
Hey listen, she didn’t say she was honest, okay?
Dazai may have correctly called her a cheater but what he didn’t know didn’t kill him. She was just using what she had to get ahead, just like she always did in life.
Yet it seemed she grossly miscalculated her steps, the auburn haired girl far too focused on his cards in order to completely miss the empty glass whiskey bottle that Dazai had thrown behind him.
Scooting closer to read the suit and color with her blurry lenses, Asagao then fully slammed her knee on the bottle, causing her balance to waver before she stumbled back with a surprised squeak of fear in order to reach her hands out to ground herself.
She then fumbled to the nearest solid object she could find, latching onto the familiar feelings of cotton to regain her footing.
Yet in doing so, it seemed she had regrettably grabbed onto Osamu’s shoulders, causing his ability to deactivate her own as the world spun back to life.
Oh shit, that wasn’t supposed to happen.
Feeling the ominous presence and the feeling on his shoulders immediately, Dazai then sharply turned around on instinct in order to find her red handed in the act.
Well, she was screwed. So much so being clever.
Yet as much as she was in trouble, Dazai’s tense muscles were the one thing she could focus on. It was clear that she had frightened him with the touch, like a flight or fight response and she wanted to apologize for it. “Opps hehe. Didn’t mean to touch you like that. Sorry.”
Quickly taking her hands off his shoulders, Dazai then watched her wordlessly, his eyes scanning from the cards in his hand back to her before she laughed nervously. “Uhhh..it’s not what it looks like?”
It was like the worst excuse in the book but it was the only one that came to mind, the words causing the executive to chuckle under his breath in a dark manner. “Asa-chan. Do you know what you just did?”
He said her name like a threat, like a lethal warning for the dishonest lie that she had blatantly told him. And to most, the shift would’ve been frightening. Not to Asa though.
In fact, she chose to ignore it. “You have no proof and I’ll never admit to anything.”
Going to cross her arms in a huff, Asa then paused as Dazai’s hand latched around her wrist, pulling her closer in order for his un bandaged eye to focus in on her like some kind of prey. “Careful, love. You’re talking to the number one torturer in the mafia. Trust me, I can make anyone talk, especially you.”
She should’ve backed away then, admitted defeat. But unfortunately, drunk Asagao was far more bold, tempting the devil without a care in the world. “Oh yeah? Well then, let’s see it, Mr. Scary Executive.”
And from the slight gleam in his eye, it was obvious that he hoped for that answer, Dazai’s lips curving upwards in a dark and twisted manner before sealing her fate. “Alright, you asked for it.”
Pulling her hand forward in an instant, Asagao’s eyes then widened at her uneven balance before Samu shifted his body away in order for her to fall onto the tatami mats beneath them with a groan.
Then before she could process it, her body was flipped, back smacking against the floor in order for Osamu to appear above her, his fingers moving down to..
Wait.
All at once, Asagao’s eyes widened in response as she felt Samu’s hands lightly brush against her sides, tickling the poor girl as her lips cried open with a sharp laugh of surprise. “A-Ah, wait Samu..hold on..ha ha ha…wait a second..!”
Dazai did not wait though, confined to his torture as he watched the girl wiggle around like a worm beneath him, a sadistic smile plastered on his face. “Ah ah ah, love. First you gotta admit that you cheated. Say it and I’ll stop.”
Doing her best to push her lips together to stop her squeaks of giggles, Asagao lifted her hands up his order to try to unlatch them from her side.
She couldn’t breathe she was laughing so hard, this truly was torture. “N-Never! You can’t...make me..!!”
Turning his head in a vicious challenge, the executive gleamed, his hands traveling upwards with his words. “Now don’t say that, Asa-chan. That brings out a bad part of me, makes me wanna do just that.”
Asa’s body then suddenly constricted against itself as she felt his long slender fingers stop at her armpits, her hands racing to the stop him before Dazai’s free arm caged her down so that she couldn’t reach.
Suddenly, this new spot was worse than before, the air in her lungs unable to function through her high pitched howls of painful joy. “No..not there…I can’t breathe…please..!”
Dazai hummed in response, loving the pretty little tears that pricked by her eyes. “As much as I love to hear you beg, that’s not what I’m looking for, love. Come on, you can say it. Tell me you cheated.”
As if to seal the deal, the boy's hand then traveled down again, shifting from her sides to her ribcage in order for her to wiggle and whine even more in his hold.
And he knew, he knew this was going to be game over.
Feeling black spots seep into the corner of her vision from the lack of oxygen to her lungs, Asa’s loud giggles tore through her own words, knowing that she’d die by laughter at his rate. “O-Okay okay okay..I admit it….I cheated..I cheated to win…I’m a cheater cheater pumpkin eater cheater..!”
Almost instantly, the hands disappeared, leaving her gasping for air as Dazai leaned back, a shit eating grin clear across her lips. “Now, that wasn't so hard, was it? Told you I'd make you talk.”
Blinking away the tears in her eyes, Asa pushed a hand to her chest before falling back onto the ground with absolute exhaustion. When he said he was the best torturer in the mafia he really wasn’t kidding. That was brutal.
She then pouted her lips before whining back. “You’re evil, Samu.”
Her insult had little meaning behind it, causing Dazai’s eyes to soften in order to carefully catch a falling tear from her eye. “Always have been, love. Thought you would’ve realized that by now, considering we’ve been together for over a year.”
The words hung in the air unspoken, and even in his drunken state, Dazai still couldn't understand why someone as good as her had chosen to hang around him so often. Yes, he was the last piece of her brother that she had, but Dazai thought for sure that Asa would’ve run away by now.
That’s what everyone else did after all, they ran away when they got a glimpse of his fucked up soul. His suicidal dreams, his port mafia instincts they were hard for anyone to swallow and he always thought that even a fragile promise like theirs was subject to change.
But it hadn’t. In fact, their agreement had only grown stronger and it seemed like Asagao had stepped forward rather than back. Even now with pretty tears in her eyes, the girl wasn’t shaken by his method of torment.
It was overwhelming and still impossibly hard to believe in every perceivable way.
Flushing in embarrassment for her tears, Asa hummed. “I have, I just don’t mind.”
At that, Dazai closed his eyes with a sigh. Of course she would say that. That was such an Asagao thing to reply with. He should’ve guessed that she had already figured out his monstrous traits in order to bluntly ignore them.
It was her entire ideology after all, to look past the bad in order to search for the good. To acknowledge but never linger on the evil in order to believe in the hopeless delusion of something better, something pure.
Idiot, she was just as stupid as she was a year ago. Nothing had changed from when she had called him a good man. And though he knew her mindset wasn’t true, it still brought a wave of vulnerability to his stomach whenever he thought about it.
No one else but her could think of such a crazy thing after all. No one else would give him a chance like she did, like she continued to do. Because of that, even Dazai wanted to believe her foolish delusions for truth.
Someone had to balance his negative view, and he was glad it was her.
Snapping out of his liquor-filled thoughts, Dazai then watched Asa’s lips open with a loud yawn, her eyes fluttering closed as he teased softly in her direction. “Aww, is my princess getting sleepy? Did I tire her out just now?”
And to be honest, yeah he had. In fact, Asagao’s muscles felt like lead after his tickle torture, like all the energy had been sucked out of her at once. “Mmm a little. I’ll just sleep here.”
Curving into herself like a cat, Dazai then shook his head in disapproval. “That’s no good, Asa-chan, You know princesses shouldn't sleep on the floor like that.”
Asa only groaned though, curling further into a ball before sleepily answering back with a mumble of child-ish protest. “Don't’ wanna...too far...legs are jelly..”
The way she spoke sounded like a bratty little toddler, the sound causing Dazai’s head to turn with amusement before leaning down towards her in question. “You want me to roll you over there, then? Or drag you by your ankles?”
He meant it as a joke. Well, half of a joke, really, the boy expecting her to swat his hand away to grumble something else adorable under her breath.
So he was certainly surprised when she shifted her head to meet him, her hand waving back and forth with a groggy response. “That’s fine..I trust you..”
Trust? She had to be kidding. No one had ever trusted him before, and for good reason. He was probably the least trustworthy kid on the planet, only giving out fragile promises and bold faced lies most of the time.
She should’ve known better than giving out her trust to a demon like that, and in his drunken state Dazai wanted her to know that. He wanted her to take it back before he either knowingly or unknowingly took advantage of her.
So much so, the boy then hummed to himself before standing up completely, reaching down in order to do exactly as he said, grabbing her ankles in order to hoist her lower body upwards like some kind of makeshift human wheelbarrow. “Okayyyy, if you say so! Let’s go, Asa-chan!”
Then Dazai began to drag the poor girl across the tatami mats, the shorts underneath her skirt lifting up just slightly from the angle he was at. Dazai didn’t pay any mind though, too lost in giving her his own type of punishment for her stupid words of faith.
Laughing to himself, he then lugged the seemingly dead body around the apartment, purposely taking the longest route possible as Asa had no choice but to be manhandled along with him.
Now that he thought about it, Dazai had done something similar before to Chuuya as well when he had passed out after a mission. Oh, how his face was so red and entertaining the moment he found out about his unconscious journey that he had taken back to the port mafia.
And that’s what he wanted from her as well. He wanted her to get angry, to shake him off, to take back her foolish moment of trust. He wanted to show her firsthand the kind of messed up and cruel things he was capable of so that she would never utter that dangerous word to him ever again.
Finally reaching Odasaku’s bedroom, Dazai then kicked open the door with his foot before finally dropping Asa’s body onto the floor by the foot of the bed. That should do it. “Anddd we’ve arrived at our destination!”
Turning back to face her, the boy then paused as he watched as her eyes were closed, almost like she had been lulled to sleep by being a human mop. Huh, he thought she’d at least grumble a bit for his decision. “Love?”
Asa only hummed though, her eyes fluttering open just barely before her body curved back into itself with a mutter. “Mmm thanks..just leave me here..it’s close enough..I’ve slept here before so I’m used to it..”
At that, Dazai’s brow turned down in confusion. He recalled her also sleeping on the floor in his apartment almost a year ago when she was drunk just like this, but he didn’t know it had become a habit. “Why?”
Asagao was silent for a moment, almost like she was debating the words to say out loud before her gaze traveled to the empty mattress above her. “Feels like I don’t deserve it sometimes. Like I don’t have the right to sleep where he was..like I’m intruding..ya know?”
In her drunken haze, Asa then sighed, forcing a heavy pit down into her stomach in order not to think about it. Her brother had slept in between those sheets so many times that when she laid them across herself they felt wrong and out of place.
Someday’s were better than others though. Sometimes she could brush away the feeling, shove it down and pretend it was just like any other bed but sometimes she found it impossible to ignore. Mostly when she had alcohol it seemed to resurface, that uncomfortable sensation of forcing herself into a place where she didn’t deserve to occupy.
She never even got the chance to ask him if living in his place was okay, if sleeping in his bed didn’t bother him. And because of that, in a way, Asa felt like a criminal, stealing something she didn’t even know she was supposed to have or not.
She’d never be able to ask him about it either, leaving her in a limbo of uncertainty forever.
That’s why on some nights, sleeping on the cold hard floor was better. It grounded her, made her remember her place in all of this. She needed to be humbled, to remember that Oda’s things were not her own, and they would never be.
Realizing she was getting stuck in her own mind, Asagao then forced herself back before a tight lipped smile worked its way onto her lips. “S’okay Samu..I’m used to it…when I was a kid I’d sleep like this too…didn’t even know what a bed was…”
In fact, the day she woke up at the hospital after her brother rescued her was the first time she had been given such a luxury. That was another reason she favored the floor also though, it reminded her of a simpler time, of a time when her brother was still next to her and not out of reach.
Dazai only stood there silent though, his mind running a million miles per minute to work against the alcohol in his system. He knew that Asagao didn’t feel worthy enough to call her own brother by his first name but this went far beyond what he had perceived before.
Because it wasn’t just about a last name, it was everything to do with him. This house, this bed, she felt like she didn’t deserve any of it. She was punishing herself, harming herself by taking things away, giving herself lessons, just to make sure she didn’t get too comfortable in her brother's old life.
It was really sad to think about, how she came back to this place everyday feeling inferior, like she was breaking and entering even though she had the key.
And Dazai could relate to that as well, knowing that every time he stepped into his apartment it felt wrong, like something was missing, like he shouldn’t be there without Odasaku’s permission.
He couldn’t even imagine how she felt, to be trapped in these walls with no sliver of the man that once occupied it. How awful it must have felt, to sleep in a stranger's bed every single night, so impossibly close and yet so far from where Oda used to be.
Pushing his hands together into a fist, Dazai’s throat felt funny, like he had just gone weeks without water. Because although he could understand where she was coming from by rejecting the bed, he also hated it more than anything.
Not for himself, but for Odasaku.
How worried and guilty would he have felt to know such a thing? To see his precious little sister chose the floor rather than a comfortable night's sleep simply because she felt as if she didn’t deserve it.
That man definitely loved her more than anything, and he would’ve been so heartbroken to realize what he had unknowingly caused. His friend just wanted to save her and yet in doing so he had broken her in a way that could no longer be mended.
After all, no one but Oda could make her feel better, no one but him could tell her that living in his house and sleeping in his bed was okay. She would never believe it unless it came from him, the poison couldn't be cleared without his voice and now he was dead, taking that antidote with him forever.
The only thing she had left was a sad suicidal boy like Dazai to pick up the pieces, and that was something the boy knew he was absolutely terrible with. He wasn’t Odasaku, he couldn’t be as kind or understanding.
He debated leaving her there, giving up completely as her eyes fluttered back closed. What could he possibly do, after all? He was just a kid, a stupid, fucked up kid. He didn’t know how to ease her pain. Hell, he didn’t know how to ease his own pain.
But something about her figure below him made him pause, his gaze softening as she curved her knees to her chest in a pathetic position by the foot of Oda’s bed. She didn’t seem bothered by her choice but Dazai was.
Odasaku’s hands couldn’t reach her now, the only ones that could were Dazai’s scarred, imperfect and bandaged ones. But even so, he reached them forwards regardless.
Leaning down to meet her, Samu’s fingers then brushed a strand of messy hair from her eyes before sucking in a strained breath. He needed to make Odasaku proud, he needed to try, even if it ended in failure.
Then with shaky uncertain hands, the boy carefully gathered up Asa in his arms, her body turning to lean into his chest as Samu’s shoulder’s immediately tensed from the close contact.
He couldn’t even hold her hand for fear of intimacy, so this was way out of his comfort zone. Asa seemed to realize it as well, her eyes flopping open with confusion. “Samu..you don’t have to..”
Dazai could hardly hear her though, his ears ringing through his entire body far too loud as he carefully cradled her closer, praying that she couldn’t hear his pounding heart. “Like I said before, princesses don’t sleep on the floor.”
This was completely different from the way he had handled her before. When he grabbed her ankles and dragged her around the house, when he slung her over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes last year in his apartment, this was far scarier than any of that put together.
Because right now, he had never held someone or something so light before, so gentle and apprehensively. Like it was the most precious thing in the world, like it was the rarest treasure of all. No, Osamu was terrified to put any more pressure than this, scared of breaking her completely with his poisonous veins.
Lifting back up to his feet, Dazai then shifted his body over to the bed before throwing open the top blanket in order to carefully place Asagao onto the mattress, her body practically melting into the surface like a warm hug.
The boy then reached for the black colored sheet before pulling it over her bloodied dress and quickly turning around in order for his entire body to heat up with clear anxiety.
He couldn’t handle much more of this, he needed to leave before she realized just how frazzled he really was.
Yet as soon as he stepped away, Samu felt a hand latch onto his wrist, her voice pleading and soft. “Samu..wait..stay with me..at least until I fall asleep..maybe it won’t feel as weird if you’re here..”
It still sounded like she was half asleep, the slur of her speech evident through the pauses in her sentence. But the only thing he could focus on was the meaning.
He had never stayed in the same bed as her before. Yes, he slept over more often than not but Dazai would always take a sofa and sometimes the floor if he was too lazy for the former.
It didn’t feel right, so instead, the boy teased her about it, his flushed intoxicated rosy cheeks leaning forward with a hum. “Asa-chan’s so clingy tonight. Told you that you couldn’t get enough of me, hmm?”
Going to pull back once more, Dazai then tried to right himself only for Asagao’s fingers to shift from his bandaged wrist to the white cuff of his long sleeve shirt, pulling on the end with a whisper. “Please.”
And try as he may, drunk Dazai’s resolve was not as strong as sober Dazai’s, the boy freezing with disbelief as her long fluffy eyelashes battered towards him in pure desperation for his presence.
That look, it was so dangerous, it was everything he had ever wanted from her. She needed him, desired him next to her like it was the only thing that mattered to her. She was dependent, viewing him like he was the entire universe, like she’d crumble without him.
How could he possibly resist such a look? How could he walk away from the utter plead in her voice? He couldn’t. He was far too selfish to ever walk away from something so tempting.
It was wrong, it was so very wrong to feed into it and yet Osamu couldn’t help himself, his body instinctively moving to the empty spot on the end before robotically sliding next to her, his head resting on the wall behind him.
His body was stiff, reminding him that the choice he had made was the wrong one and yet his muscles refused to move even so. Why anyone would want to fall asleep with a demon next to them was beyond him, but this was Asagao he was talking about.
This was such new territory for him also, lying next to someone, in their bed. Usually once Dazai got finished with a woman he just left. There was no aftercare or cuddling, or close contact. He never lingered, and he certainly never relaxed.
That would’ve been foolish to do anyways, trusting a total stranger so easily. No, they were probably all just waiting to backstab and kill him the minute he closed his eyes. That’s what the mafioso would’ve done to everyone else after all. It was only natural they would think the same.
So instinctually, he couldn’t relax, the boy’s muscles locked and on edge more so than ever. It’s what he had been trained to do, what had been conditioned into his mind.
Yet that’s when he felt Asagao’s grip on his sleeve loosen, the tips of her fingers traveling back to his wrist silently as he watched with anxious breath.
Careful not to touch the skin, the girl then turned the gauze around so that his wrist was facing upwards in order to trace a line down the middle with her pointer finger as Dazai watched the line.
She did that before at the cafe also, he always wondered what it meant. So this time, he asked her. “What are you doing?”
Humming in response, Asa spoke carefully, her eyes still trained to the moments of her finger. “Tracing the veins, finding the life in them....”
Dazai couldn’t help but pause at that. “Why?”
It seemed like a foolish thing to do. What was so good about life, especially his life to want to catalog the blood in his veins? Surely nothing.
Yet Asa only smiled, the feathery feeling of her touch on his bandages causing the scarred and unseen skin underneath to prickle with goosebumps. “Because I want to remember it, I want to remember this. Everyday I get to trace them, it means that you’re alive, and I don’t want to take that for granted.”
The rest of her words hung in the air, unsaid and yet completely understandable. She didn’t want to take Osamu’s life for granted like she took brother’s. She didn’t want to regret a single second before he inevitably disappeared from this world by his own volition.
And Dazai could understand that well, knowing that he as well took Odasaku’s moments of life for granted. Every conversation, every word, he wished for him back, to have cataloged them to photographic memory just like she was doing right now.
Still though, he didn’t deserve to have this kind of special treatment, Nothing about him was worth remembering, not like Odasaku was. Would Asa truly recall back to this feeling when he was gone? He couldn’t understand why.
Asagao seemed to read his mind though, her hand falling away from his wrist before she flipped her own up to him in order to lightly grasp the covered gauze and place his hand on her bare skin. “Here, try it.”
And he wanted to, he wanted to follow suit, the boy’s finger nervously traveling down her untouched skin in order to follow the purplish blue veins that resisted there.
She was right, he could feel it, the blood that lied underneath the surface, the living spark as he followed it to the end.
The truth was unmistakable. She was here. Asagao was here, she was alive. She wasn’t a fabrication of his mind or a fleeting memory of grief, she was right here beside him, supporting him, believing in him even when he couldn’t do that same for himself.
Once he reached the end of her wrist, Asa spoke. “Reassuring, right?”
And it was. He didn’t know how it was but it just..was. The skin to skin contact, it grounded him like a steak in the ground, anchoring him to reality without a second thought.
He was glad she was alive, that he could feel the veins functioning behind her skin. Was that how Asa felt about him also, was that why she did it so often? No, it couldn’t be. The knowledge of his life wasn’t as important as hers.
Then all at once, he felt his rigid shoulders start to cave in on themselves, allowing his mind to get lost in the motion of his fingers on her wrist over and over again. The motion, it lulled him into comfort before he could even realize it.
Muttering back quietly, Osamu's hand then fell still. “Yeah..”
He became silent then as Asagao fell into the new air easily. She was still really sleepy but the last thing she wanted was for Osu to be uncomfortable next to her. At least now he seemed a little more at ease. That was good.
Sinking further into the sheets to nuzzle under the covers, Dazai finally pulled away a second later before resting his head back onto the wall behind him wordlessly.
He was quite a distance away from her, the girl laying fully down while he sat up against the pillows but Asa didn't mind one bit. He was still closer than he had ever been before, and from this gap she could still hear the gentle intake of breath, of life even so.
Having him stay with her was an impulse decision but Asa was glad she asked because right now that uncomfortable undeserving feeling of being in Oda’s bed was nowhere to be seen.
Perhaps it was because Dazai was always more deserving of such a place anyways. He did know him better, after all. If anyone deserved this spot, deserved to feel comfortable in her brother’s old things then it was him.
Shifting her head to the side, a piece of her auburn hair got in the way, Asa immediately pushing the strand away before her mind couldn’t help but recall the gentle way Samu kissed a similar piece just hours ago, how his lips had traveled to the area without a second thought.
And that brought her back to the events of tonight, of the kiss that the traitor had forced upon her unexpectedly. It wasn’t like she was bothered by it, per say, but the differences between the two interactions did leave her with many lingering questions.
Questions that although tipsy Asagao would’ve been horrified to ask, drunk Asagao had no problem doing so. If anyone would know the answer, it would be Samu anyways. “Hey Samu, you said you’re experienced with women, right? Like with..touching and stuff..?”
She then watched Osamu’s eyes flicker with surprise before a cocky smirk slid onto his face, turning to her completely. “That I am, love. I’m the best there is. Why, you want some pointers?”
Asa completely ignored his comment though, her mind to focus on her own thoughts and too busy to process his meaningless flirting. “So that means you’ve..you know..kissed someone before too?”
Laughing under his breath at her innocent phrasing, Dazai pushed his finger to brush it across his bottom lip in a tease. “Obviously, love. I’ve had millions of kisses before. Makes all the ladies so crazy. Why you askin?”
The last part of his sentence came out slurred as Asagao then mimicked his motions, feeling her lips brush over the pads of her fingers with a mutter. “I guess..I just wanted to know what it’s supposed to be like.”
And that didn’t help with his tease, the boy gasping loudly in drunken surprise before reaching forward in order to squish her cheeks together like a fish out of water. “Awwww you’re so cute, Asa-chan wants to know how to smoochy smooch!”
He was making fun of her, it was obvious and although intoxicated, Asa could sense it as well, her hand pulling him away with a frown. “Well, I only ask because when that traitor guy kissed me I didn’t really see the big deal. Honestly it wasn’t a pleasant experience and kind of overrated to what I’ve read about. So I was just wondering if it’s all like that or not.”
It was something that she had stewed about silently over and over again. The books that she had read and the movies she’d seen framed kissing as this magical experience but her time with that port mafia traitor was anything but that.
And being as inexperienced and naive as she was, Asa wasn’t sure that was always the case, that the media had somehow over exaggerated such a thing this entire time.
At first she thought that the gross and rather unimpressive kiss she had tonight was normal but the second Samu touched his lips to the ends of her hair something felt completely different.
Perhaps it was because she was tipsy back then, but Asa wasn’t completely sure that was the case either. Osu hadn’t touched her lips like that traitor guy and but the sensation of his proximity was far more racing and mind numbing than if he had.
Was it a fluke? Was it only the alcohol that made his kiss more nerve wrecking and strange, or was it something more? She was hoping he could shed some light on the subject since she didn’t know.
Because Samu was experienced with women, he kissed them and slept with them no problem. If anyone knew how she was supposed to feel then it would be him. She didn’t think she could fall asleep without finally getting an answer anyways.
Dazai only narrowed his eyes though, taking in her broken logic before pushing his lips together in a quiet hum of interest. “Hmm. Well, how about this? I have a great idea..”
Yet that’s when the boy shifted his body towards her, his left arm reaching down across in order to place it on the mattress and cage her in so that he was leaning over her sensually.
Reaching his hand down, she then felt his slender thumb brush her bottom lip in a haze. “Why don’t we kiss and you can find out?”
And Dazai meant it was a joke, he put her in this position purposely so that she would flush and push him away with embarrassment. That was what was supposed to happen.
She was asking such dangerous things after all, playing with the topic while he sat beside her, knowing fully well that he could’ve taken advantage of her if he so choosed.
Yet that’s when the girl simply looked up at him before speaking plain. “Okay. Let’s do it.”
Blinking in disbelief for her casual response, Dazai stood frozen, his finger stilling against her lips before immediately pulling back like she was on fire in order to scramble away from the conversation as fast as possible.
Dazai may have been drunk, but he wasn’t that drunk. In fact, her consent only made him wake up, crashing straight into sobriety without permission. Just what the hell kind of response was that?!
No, he needed to leave. He couldn’t talk about this, especially with her.
Pushing his feet to stand on shaky legs, Dazai then left the room immediately, the action causing Asa’s body to sit up with pure confusion. What did she just say? Why was he going so suddenly? Oh no, she didn’t offend him, did she?
Asa then scrambled out of bed as well, sleep now far from her mind as she drunkenly stumbled out of the room to see him standing in the bathroom, his head dipped towards the sink.
Oh no, he looked really upset. “Samu, did you hear me? I said it’s okay. I don’t mind.”
Dazai only clenched the sides of the sink even tighter though, feeling Asa’s watchful gaze before he sucked in a heavy breath in order to right himself and flick the middle of her forehead with a tight grin. “That was a joke, love.”
Reaching forward to rub the spot on her forehead, Samu then slipped past her, causing her head to turn in confusion.
It was a joke? But he brought up a good point, a way to prove her theory. “Really? But I think it could be a good idea. That way I’d know or not if it’s the same.”
And to be honest, the idea of kissing Samu wasn’t the worst one in the universe. She already knew where they stood relationship wise so it would be purely platonic and unmessy. Besides, if she was going to test this theory then she would’ve preferred it to be Osu.
Dazai didn’t seem to feel the same though, his steps freezing immediately before a dark laugh seeped from his lips. “First of all, it’s a horrible idea, and I can already tell you that it’s the same. Kissing is only about control, about making the other person weaker so you can take advantage of them. It’s a frivolous activity, a means to an end. That’s it.”
The boy believed that as well, knowing that his experiences with intimacy and sex were always about one thing and one thing only, control. It’s what the mafia had taught him, it’s what had been ingrained into his mind until it was second nature.
He never cared for the action, but it’s not like that mattered. His relations were always shallow at best, never for his frivolous pleasure but rather for a purpose.
Sex and the act of touch were the perfect interrogation tools after all.
They brought women to their knees, they brought pleads and begs to seep from their lips. The actions caused even the strongest willed people to fall victim to him, their own bodies betraying their promises of secrecy to get exactly what the demon prodigy wanted.
Now, that’s not saying that he didn’t make them feel good about it. No, he had plenty of whores and bitches crying tears of joy over his performances, but he never cared about the process, only the result.
No, he broke them in the sweetest way possible, in a way that brought them back on their hands and knees begging for more. But once they had served their use he threw them out, much of their heartbreaking dissatisfaction.
It didn’t matter how many times he kissed them, fucked then, touched them, he always made sure he was the one in control. Dazai alone was always in charge, never once did he allow himself to slip. He always seduced, but never fell victim to the disease.
Not once.
So the fact that Asa was asking him to do the same, to break her sweetly with his touch just like he had done a million times before, it was both extremely alluring and absolutely terrifying to think about.
The girl only nodded her head at his explanation though, taking everything at face value. She had nothing else to go on after all, and his words did fit the way she felt about that traitor's kiss. So he must have been right.
Putting a hand to her chin in thought, Asa replied. “Hmm interesting. That’s different from other things I’ve heard. Then again, it makes sense given my experience. I still want to test it out though, just to be sure.”
At her words, Dazai put his hand out towards the wall next to him for support before trying his best to brush off her comment. “Damn Asa-chan. Do you really wanna kiss me that badly? I didn’t know you felt that way, not that I can blame you.”
Asa fired back immediately though, breaking his resolve in a single instance. “Well I mean, yeah. If I was going to pick anyone to try it with, it would be you.”
She didn’t think he would be so resistant to the idea, given his past experiences with women. If anything, Samu loved to brag about the things he did with them, always asking her if she was jealous.
And she wasn’t of course, she couldn’t be. They were just faking dating after all. It wasn't up to her who he slept with or dated so his words and jabs didn’t ever bother her.
But for a self proclaimed playboy, Osamu’s entire body language didn’t seem eager right now. He didn’t look like a trained lover, pouncing on any piece of ass he could get his hands on.
No, he looked kind of…scared.
And that was the last thing she wanted, Asa immediately backtracking with a slurred stumble. “A-Ah, Unless you don’t wanna...I totally get that…I just thought that you’d be up for it since you kiss lots of other girls...and it’s not like I’m different from them so I just thought...”
She wasn’t different either, Asa knew that. They were friends but nowhere near lovers. He didn’t have any obligation to treat her special. Their deal only mentioned his stories and her letters about her brother. She already said they didn’t have to do the mushy stuff.
Him being her boyfriend and her being his girlfriend were just meaningless titles anyways. They didn’t hold any power, nor did they mean anything of weight.
Just then, that traitor's words flashed inside her head, making her face fall.
“What an ugly beast you turned out to be. No wonder why Dazai chose you, only a demon could love a face like that.”
Ah, right. That’s probably what it was. He probably didn’t wanna kiss her because of her unnatural face. That’s what that guy said. Not like she could blame him though. Of course Samu wouldn’t kiss a ugly beast like her.
Yet that’s when Dazai sharply turned towards her, his face full of conflict as he processed her words. And he wished things were that simple, that he could just say he wasn’t in the mood or whatever and leave it at that.
But you see, the problem was that was the biggest lie in the entire universe.
Because as fucked up as it was, he did want to kiss her. He wanted to give her exactly what she asked for and break her so incredibly slow that she would thank him for it later.
And he hated himself for it, for the idea snapping inside his head without permission. He wanted to take her kiss, ravage her lips and claim them for his own, he wanted her to be another notch in his belt of women that fell over him. He wanted it all.
It was a challenge, a sick and pleasing challenge that normally Dazai wouldn’t pass up. To figure her out, to make her cry out by his touch and fall victim to his charms. The sacrificial lamb was right in front of him, practically asking to be eaten and the demon wanted it more than anything.
That’s why he was so pissed when he found out that the traitor took her first kiss before him, claiming her before him. He didn’t understand it at the moment, his hand reaching for that gun without a second thought but right now it all made sense.
His selfish heart wanted her all to himself.
Feeling his voice strain, Dazai shook his head, willing such thoughts from his mind. “That’s not the problem, princess.”
Asa couldn’t help but pause at that, taking a step closer in confusion. Did he just say that he wanted to kiss her? But then what was holding him back? She had already given him permission, hadn’t she? “I don’t understand.”
Dazai only took one back though, not trusting his own actions as his un bandaged eye found the half full glass of whiskey still on the table a couple feet away.
Odasaku’s glass, the one they never cleaned up.
It was almost like the man himself was watching the scene, judging Dazai’s words.
That singular object, it mocked him in every single way, bringing a new realization to life without permission.
Wait, when was the last time he had referred to Asa as Odasaku’s little sister, when was the last time he connected those two things together?
Besides tonight, it had been months.
No, it couldn’t be. When Dazai first met the girl that’s all he could think about, not seeing her as a person but rather an extension of Odaskau himself. She wore his face and that was enough, not bothering to give her an identity other than that.
He admired only the traits that Odasaku shared, the things that made them related. No, a year ago Asa wasn’t a person to him, she was just a vessel to get what he so desperately craved, more time with his old best friend.
But somewhere along the way, things shifted, they changed in the worst way possible. Because now the things that he noticed and admired were different and so far removed from Odasaku himself.
Her eyes, the unique turquoise that her brother didn’t share, her ability to see through him and not ignore his suffering, they had nothing to do with his old friend. They were more than just symptoms of the blood in her veins. They were things that only Asagao could possess.
And in doing so, Dazai had unknowingly started to blur the reality and detached the title of Odasaku’s sister from her very being.
She wasn’t just Odasaku’s unnamed sister anymore. Now she was Asagao.
It was the worst thing he could have possibly done, because now he was looking at her like her own person, like she wasn’t the only person in the world he couldn’t have.
He had forgotten his place, drifted too far into dangerous territory. She wasn’t just some girl, she was the one thing that Odasaku treasured more than anything else. She was untouchable, especially to the demon like himself.
How foolish to have overlooked such a thing.
And that in itself made the boy crumble, a hand reaching up to run his finger through his hair with a bitter laugh. “When Odasaku mentioned me in those letters I’m pretty sure he didn’t do it so that I could kiss his little sister.”
At the sound of her brother’s name, Asa’s eyes widened. Oh, so that's what this was about. He was holding back because of her big brother. Now it all made sense.
Reaching a hand out, the girl softened. “Samu..”
Osamu only recoiled back though, still keeping his distance for safety. “Trust me, love. If he already didn’t want me near you, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have wanted this either.”
The boy knew it so clearly, how horrified his best friend would’ve been to hear the thoughts in his head, to know that the demon prodigy, the mafia’s best torturer had desired his little sister in such an awful manner.
Odaskau would have never forgiven him for such a thing.
And although it was probably futile, Dazai was trying, he was trying so hard to be a good man, to be the man that Asagao and Odasaku said he could be. Yes, he wanted those things but he was holding back, forcing himself to walk away from them so they didn’t destroy her.
But it seemed like Asa didn’t feel the same way, her lips turning to a bothered frown. “But you said that kissing didn’t mean anything, that it was not really that big of a deal, right? Then it’s fine. It’s not like you’re gonna hurt me. I already told you, I trust you.”
Not going to hurt her? How could she say that? Dazai hurt everything he touched, even himself. She couldn’t say that so confidently, especially with these evil thoughts inside his head right now. She needed to stop saying that word, the one that meant trust, the one that made him want to scream.
He couldn’t be trusted, he shouldn’t be.
Not thinking about his next words, the anxiety slipped past the barriers of his facade, his voice frantic and frazzled all at once due to the alcohol. “S-Stop that, stop saying that. You shouldn’t..”
Freezing immediately, Dazai forced his lips shut before taking a long suffocating breath. No, he needed to stay in control, to push past the liquid poison in his system and get his head on straight. Anything to make her understand.
Asa then watched the boy close his eyes for a millisecond before finally taking a step towards her, each move calculating and slow. “You got it all wrong, sweetheart. It is a big deal. Your brother would’ve thought it was a big deal.”
And he hoped that would be enough, that she would back off and let it be. But unfortunately Asagao was never that kind of person, she was never the one to ignore his suffering, even when he so desperately wished that could be the case.
Lifting her head up to meet him, Asa then uttered the most dangerous question of all. “Well, what do you wanna do?”
Suddenly, he was taken back to the events of tonight, when Chuuya had accused him of pursuing her just so she could be coaxed into the mafia. That slug didn’t know about their deal, about her connection to Odasaku so of course he had assumed that.
But just like before, Dazai answered the same. “It doesn't matter what I want, love. That’s not the point.”
That seemed to be the wrong response though, watching Asa’s hazy half lidded eyes sadden into something unreadable before her fingers reached out to touch his cheek.
The motion was soft, far too soft for his liking as Dazai’s entire body flinched for the skin to skin contact. Usually she only touched the spots that were covered, the bandaged gauze always creating a bridge from comfort to discomfort.
But not now. Now it was different.
It was almost like wanted him to feel her, to focus back on her rather than the self hatred that coated his entire head as she whispered lightly. “Yes it does, what you want should always matter. It matters to me.”
It shouldn’t have, it really shouldn’t have. If only she knew how dark it was underneath it all, if only she knew about that alluring pull he felt when she agreed to kiss him. How he wanted to do it, to bend her backwards and find out how to make her fall apart for his own pleasure.
It was disgusting, and Dazai hated himself for feeling that way, knowing that his desire to touch her wasn’t from a romantic or sweet intention. It was simply the allure of a game, of a puzzle that made him wish for it.
He didn’t process intimacy the same way others did. No, what he sought after was much more cruel and vicious. And from the look in her eyes right now it was obvious to tell she didn’t understand any of it.
So he tried to, he tried to hold together that fragile string inside his head, forcing the demon down with the alcohol until it disappeared completely. He had to, or else he’d truly soil Odasaku’s memory and spit on his grave.
Falling into the hand that held his cheek, Osamu stuttered back, that resolve he once had fading in an instant. “D-Don’t..I’m not a good man..I’m trying..I really am but I’m not yet…don’t give me that power..I’ll break you..”
Asa voice was immediate, desperate to hold him together. “You won’t.”
But the boy’s voice replied just as fast, sharp and serious. “I will.”
It was a simple fact. If she kept letting him do what he wanted, if she kept trusting him like this then he would break her. Not only that, he’d kill her with his own selfish heart, and that was something that could not happen.
Asagao was quiet then, seemingly taking in his answer before her thumb lightly brushed a line across his cheek, her movements mimicking the same motion as earlier in the night when he showed her his eye.
And though they were now covered again by gauze, she still saw through him even so. “If I wasn’t Oda’s sister would you still be saying that?”
That question, it was like a nail in the coffin for him, simply because he had his answer immediately. No, it wouldn’t have been the same. If she wasn’t related to Odaskau then there would’ve been no discussion.
He would have already kissed her, the second she casually agreed he would’ve pressed his lips onto hers without a second thought. And not only that, he would've already have chained her by his side in the mafia, he wouldn't have cared at all about her well being.
Because that was just the selfish kind of greedy man he was.
Chuuya was right, he was just a bastard that only thought for himself. The only thing that was even holding himself together right now was that mocking glass of liquor they had given Odasaku’s ghost just steps away on the table.
He hoped that she didn’t see it, the invisible chains that just barely bound him down.
But she did, of course she did. Asagao saw through everything, the look in his singular eye and trembling muscles between her fingers telling her all she needed to know.
He was suffering, Osamu was suffering right now with some much self loathing and hatred. It practically radiated off of him and even though the booze made it hard to focus on more than one thing, this was the only thing that mattered in her hazy little mind.
She didn’t need to think about anything else.
What had her brother done to him? Why was he holding back so adamantly? She didn’t want that for him, she didn’t want him to fall apart and crumble or think he was evil incarnate just because he would’ve kissed her if she was any other person.
They weren't in a relationship, he didn't need to worry about such things. About breaking her or destroying her big brother's last promise. He didn’t need to be terrified of making a mistake because there were no mistakes that could be made.
Stilling the movement of her thumb on his cheek, Asa then smiled softly, wanting him to see through his own darkness. “Hey, don’t think so hard about it. it’s just a test, alright? A one time thing. You aren’t soiling or shaming anything. I already said you could do it. You’d be helping me if you did, then I’d know if it’s the same or not.”
Didn’t he understand that by doing this he would be a good man, that he would be gently assisting her to figure out her own theories? He would help her be able to compare and contrast, to come up with a definite answer by her own volition.
But then again, if he truly was still scared of ruining her, of that kind of thing then she wasn’t going to push. The last thing she ever wanted to do was make him uncomfortable or feel worse about himself.
It didn’t matter if he had basically confessed to wanting to do it, she knew the barriers he faced were great. “I understand if it’s no though. But if it is,I want you to be the one to say it and not just because my big brother thought you should..”
She wanted him to voice it himself, to reject her with his own heart and not the one that her brother had left behind. Asagao didn’t want him to look at her and hate himself, to see the flaws and shortcomings that a good man didn’t have.
No, she wanted him to understand that Oda’s opinion wasn’t the only thing that mattered. That her brother shouldn’t be the one to control every thought and feeling inside his mind.
The only response she received was silence though, causing her hand to lower from his face with understanding.
Perhaps that was too hard to do also. Very well. Then she’d be the one to make the decision. “Okay. I’m sorry I pushed.”
Giving him a small smile of reassurance, Asa then turned around in order to go check on the hanging black jacket out on the balcony, her steps slightly stumbling with her loss of coordination.
Yet just as she left the room completely, Dazai heard her speak to herself, the tone muttered and sad. “Guess my first kiss really was a bust. Ah well.”
Sliding the door to the outside balcony behind her, the sixteen year old boy was left in silence, the feeling twisting around him all at once. She had given him what he wanted, dropping the topic completely and yet Dazai didn’t feel happy one bit.
Because that last comment, the sad tone of it only brought back what he had been trying to forget all night.
And that was that her being kissed was completely and utterly his fault.
He wasn’t smart enough, miscalculated that traitor's intentions and it caused her to lose the one thing she could never get back. It didn’t matter if kissing didn’t mean anything to him, she didn’t deserve to have her first one taken like that, so cruel and unfeeling.
No, Asa deserved better than that, she deserved the best. She was a good person, better than he could ever be and he had let her down so astronomically.
He failed to protect her when it counted and Dazai would never forgive himself for it.
What would Odaskau have said, how disappointed would he have been to have known that? Dazai was too scared to even think about it. His best friend had left his little sister in the boy's care and he fucked it up so badly.
So much so, he wanted to fix it, to go back in time and kill that bastard before he could even get his hands on her like that. But that was impossible, so what other option was there? There wasn’t one.
Although that’s when her words flashed through his head once more. She said that it was a bust but what if that wasn’t the case, what if he could cover up that unpleasant memory with something else, something new?
Dazai’s eyes then began to deepen with possibility, with a way to make his fucked up thoughts and feelings seem okay. It would be okay to kiss her if he was really helping her, right? If he had good intentions, that would be okay, right?
Odasaku would have understood then, wouldn’t he? That he did it to cover up her first bad experience, to make everything okay again, to fix his mistake.
One night of overindulgence, that wasn’t so bad, right?
Just for her sake.
It was a bullshit excuse, a ruse of what he really wanted but Dazai grasped at the straw even so. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew the plan wasn’t really for her, but that facade made everything so much so easier, so much more bearable.
It was a way to still supply his greedy desire, his sick selfish soul.
She returned a second later, the sliding glass door closing behind her as she approached with a sigh. “Sorry Samu, your jacket is almost dry but not yet. How about we deal out another round of cards while we wait? I’m not that sleepy anymore anyways.”
Yet the second she reached down to grab the nearby deck of cards, she heard Dazai’s voice, the air around it growing far more heavy than before. “How did he kiss you?”
Feeling herself freeze at the question, Asa immediately snapped her head up in confusion, completely caught off guard. “W-What?”
Suddenly, she was face to face with the boy, his distance only a few inches away from her as Asa’s breath hitched in reply. The way he was looking at her now, it was different, darker, more demanding of something.
But because of her lack of response, Dazai spoke again, his fingers latching onto her chin in order to control her movements and face him. “I asked a question, love. How did he kiss you?”
Why did he want to know that? What kind of benefit would that bring him? Asa wasn’t sure.
Yet even so, she gave him what he wanted, recalling the night through her drunken recollection. “O-Oh, uhh he took off my glasses and pushed my head against the prison wall.”
There was anger in his eyes then, that same dark pool of fury that she saw when he murdered the guy earlier in the night. Something about her words bothered him, enough for the demon to peek out behind the man.
Yet before she could speak on it, Dazai’s hands disappeared from her chin, moving in order for each one to rest firmly on her lower hips, his fingers digging into the turquoise fabric with some kind of need.
Pushing his body closer, Asa was forced to step backwards, her feet still shaky and uncoordinated as he guided her until she felt her body bump against a wall, caging her into place by invisible chains.
Humming to himself at her flustered reaction, he then tilted his head dangerously close. “Mm..like this?”
Asa could only nod back though, all the words dissipating between her lips before she had a chance to speak them. There was something about this position, this air that made it hard to breath and her heartbeat pound against her chest erratically.
Hold on, now she knew what he was doing. Samu was re-creating her first kiss, copying the way that the kid did it so she could truly see if it was the same or not. Wait, that meant he was going to kiss her, he was going to give her what she asked for. Was he sure?
One his hands then reached forward, grasping onto the ends of her glasses before pulling them off her face in order to slip them into his pocket, her eyes immediately glued to him the second her vision became un blurred.
Perhaps before she would’ve been scared but after his sweet reassurance tonight, Asa didn’t mind looking, seeing him fully. She still couldn’t do it for long periods of time but right now while they were so close, she couldn’t help but dive into the chestnut color and drown in it.
And looking at him now, the old layers were still prevalent but there was also a new one, almost like it had manifested in real time due to their distance. It appeared like a lightning strike, shocking her core immediately.
Desire.
He was looking at her with desire.
She was correct as well, Dazai feeling that overtaking emotion like a poison coursing through every single of his veins. Oh, the things he wanted to do to that pretty little face, the lines he so desperately wanted to cross just from the way she looked at him, it was immeasurable.
So filled with adoration and delusional trust, worshiping him as her center of the universe. It fed into every single toxic bone in his body, desperate to capture it forever.
What did he ever do to deserve such an expression, to have her view him in such an ethereal light? He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve anything she had offered him, and yet he still felt the need to hungrily take it even so.
Moving his hand up to press his fingers against her cheek, he then shifted the muscles in his palm, causing her head to lift in order to follow the command perfectly in an instant, submitting to his selfish request.
How beautiful she was, staring at him with those waiting and hollow eyes of hers. They did something to him each time, sucking him into the eagerness of his touch.
And though he didn’t want to lose such a thing, he knew that in order to recreate that bastard’s kiss, he had to sacrifice them for her benefit. “Close your eyes.”
She did so instantly, her long fluffy eyelashes falling to a close only for his lips to twist up in sick satisfaction. She followed so well for him, obeyed him so perfectly. He absolutely loved it, it was addicting in the worst possible way.
God, he could feel the thoughts in the back of his head, the ones that wanted to break her, shatter her beyond reconciliation and then build her back up to his own design.
He tried to ignore it until now but that was almost impossible after watching her perfect submission to his fingers.
Touch was about control after all, and Dazai was determined to make her see that. To have her realize the power it held so that she would never ask to do such a thing ever again. It’s what she asked for after all, it’s what she practically begged him for.
And he had no problem showing her that.
Bruising a silent thumb over her lips, he watched her breath hitch again, a slight tremble appearing across the surface to his satisfaction. There we go, that’s it. She was reacting just like he had expected her to, how every other woman did when he touched them.
Dazai then leaned closer to seal the deal only for his head to automatically freeze a couple inches away from her touch, Odasaku’s memory drumming in the mind of his head like a death sentence.
No, this was okay, just ignore it. Pretend she’s someone else, pretend she’s not Odasaku’s sister. She’s just some other whore, that’s it, she’s not his best friend’s sister. She wasn’t untouchable.
Yet the more he tried not to think about it, the more it did the opposite as flashes of Odasaku tormented him behind his eyes, of Ango telling him to stay away from her because he knew this would happen, that he’d break her when given the chance.
Asagao noticed his hesitation as well, the girl’s eyes opening in order to see that Osamu was ghostly pale, his hands unmoving from her side as they shook with conflict.
He looked to be on the verge of a panic attack, like he was screaming at himself in his own mind and she hated the sight.
So much so, she softened in reply, before carefully reaching forward in order to remove his hand from her skin, not wanting him to hurt so badly because of her. “Hey, it’s okay, Samu. We don’t have to do it. I promise.”
Pulling away from her spot on the wall, Asa then moved past him, causing Dazai’s eyes to follow her as she went. And there was something about the sight that made him spiral, the demon and his desire for her screaming at him to not let her go.
To devour her completely before she disappeared from his sight.
And with it, the fragile string of control in his mind suddenly snapped as Ango and Odasaku’s words of warning drowned out with the liquor in his system.
Reaching forward like a puppet controlling his movements, Dazai then latched onto her forearm roughly, pulling her body backwards and spinning it around in order to slip his arm around her waist and collide his greedy lips onto hers.
Asagao couldn't help but widen her eyes at the contact, the feeling of his lips on hers causing her head to spin and breath to dissipate in a single second in order to flutter her lashes closed with overwhelming shock.
He held her so tightly, so possessively, caging her into his body and not letting go in order to explore the sweet poison that had been injected into his veins.
And god, was it sweet, sweeter than anything he had ever tasted before.
Dazai didn’t know that could be possible, that someone’s lips could feel this good, his head tilting forward to deepen it immediately like a hungry fool who had been starved for a decade.
And with it came the most beautiful and tiny little noise seeping from her lips, the sound of enjoyment falling into his and bringing him into madness without a second thought.
And just like that, every single past experience, every plan he had before the contact fizzed out of his brain, unable to process anything but the addicting feeling of the gift of her touch.
Her lips, the way they moved across his, so soft, so tender and utterly breathtaking, the feeling of his skin on hers, it was nothing short of otherworldly. His cheeks, they felt like they were burning, his lungs ceasing of all oxygen as the arm around her waist tightened her even closer to him.
Before this started he fully had the intention to control her, to make her submit and whine under his touch but now that he had realized what this could actually be, Dazai’s plan somehow seemed to reverse.
What he had meant to control was now controlling him, and he didn’t even have the strength to fight it.
But how could that be? He was the seducer, he was made sure to be in charge every single time. But if that was the case, why did he instead feel utterly swept away by absolutely everything about her?
God, he was so pathetic. He wanted to worship her, to die between these lips and then never come back. Fuck, he’d even get on his knees and beg if it meant to have this feeling for the rest of his life.
Yet just as it appeared, it was ripped away, Asa’s head reeling back in out to gasp out a breath of air and place her shaky heads on his chest to steady herself.
And almost immediately, Dazai felt it also, his lungs ceasing with desperation as he forced the oxygen back to his lungs and willed the black spots in the corner of his vision to dissipate.
After that, there was only silence, neither of them speaking against the tense air before Dazai finally broke the seal, shoving down all remnants of what had occurred. “Told you, it’s the same.”
Asa replied a second later, her eyes still dazed and distant. “Yeah, you were right.”
Then before he could think about anything else, the bandaged boy quickly raced past her, grabbing his half wet jacket in order to fumble to the entrance and leave completely as Asa followed him up to the door.
Taking a shaky breath, both kids then simultaneously placed their fingers to their burning lips before sliding down on opposite sides of Odasaku’s door in order to cover their faces and think the same exact thing at the same exact time.
The same?
There was no way that was the same.
----
(Really proud of these two chapters. Show some love if you do also!)
Summary: Dazai, Chuuya, and Odasaku's little sister find themselves in the worst possible situation, kidnapped by a group out to take down the infamous port mafia. They get the idea to use Dazai's girlfriend for leverage to make him squirm but perhaps that wasn't the the smartest option after all.
Warnings: pm!sixteen year old dazai, pm!sixteen year old chuuya, forced kiss, death, murder, suicide mentions, violence, manipulation on both sides, odasaku death mentions, dazai being a simp and a clingy baby boy, poor chuuya is lost, confused and tormented from all angles for most of this. chuuya is a meanie but it's for a purpose.
(This is chapter seventeen and eighteen of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. I'll link the master list below so you can get the full story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)e
Master List Here
A03 Here
Work Count: 15k total
Chapter 17:
Well this day was getting worse and worse.
And that was because the ginger mafioso was probably in the worst position he could possibly be in at the moment. Sure, he was no stranger to attempted kidnappings and blackmail but this was something else entirely.
There were a few things that Chuuya took note of the moment he woke up. The first was the pounding headache in the back of his temple from where that mafia bastard struck him upside the head, the second was the fact that his hands were cuffed and useless hanging above him because of the annoying ability suppressors he’d been forced to put on and the third was dingy disgusting cell he found himself in, the area clearly underground and out of sight.
But all of that didn’t compare to the numb feeling of his muscles, the boy unable to move even an inch of his limbs in order to curse to himself internally. Shit, they drugged him also, didn’t they? That’s why he couldn’t feel anything right now, why his head was still swimming with groggy resolve.
Well that was a smart move on his captives part though, considering that even without his gravity manipulation Chuuya was still a force of physical strength. Seemed like they accounted for that as well. These idiots must’ve been planning this for a while then.
But that just meant that getting out of here was going to be more of a pain in the ass than he first thought it would be. Just great. Of course it wasn’t gonna be easy. When is it ever?
First things first, he had to find Dazai and get out of here.
Suppressing another groan, his ears then perked up in order to glance to his left and find Dazai’s girlfriend in the same exact position, her head lulling with a moan of pain in order to push against her now restrained hands with confusion.
And almost immediately, Chuuya felt his heart sink into his chest. Damn it, that’s right. This girl had gotten stuck in the crossfire as well, taken as leverage for the executive to squirm. No, this was bad. She was probably so scared right now.
Listening to her slowly grow lucid, the boy then watched her start to blink back to reality before turning her head with a soft breathy whisper. “C-Chuuya..?”
If he had use of his muscles he would’ve nodded, but because he didn’t Chuuya settled for a vocal response, coaxing her as gently as possible. “Hey yeah, it’s me. I’m right here. It’s gonna be okay, alright? I’m gonna get you out of here I promise. Nothings gonna happen to you, okay?”
And he meant that, because even if that selfish mackerel didn’t protect her, he knew he had to. She didn’t belong here after all, this poor girl just got dragged into the darkness without a word. That meant it was his responsibility to pull her back into the light before it was too late.
It didn’t matter if he couldn't’ move his limbs right now, he’d find a way. He’d get her out of here even if it was the last thing he did.
Yet just as he thought that, the basement door seemed to swing open revealing a kid around their age, his eyes hungry and wild as he glanced at the ginger haired boy with intent. Wait, he knew this guy, Chuuya had seen him in the hallways of the port once or twice.
Ah shit, what was his name again? He couldn’t even remember.
He was a low level errant dog for the organization and now a part of the mafioso’s that had stepped out of line. What a stupid idiot, didn’t he know he’d hang for this kind of betrayal?
The kid didn’t bat an eye though, simply stopping in front of his chained colleague before crossing his arms with amusement. “The great gravity manipulator, oh how hard he falls. Looks like Mori put his trust in the wrong people after all.”
Chuuya only scoffed in response, not feeling very intimated. “Jealous bastard, looks like the boss was right, demoting you to an insignificant little nobody. Screwing him over, you just signed your own death wish.”
Humming back in response, the captive then leaned down to Chuuya’s eye level before ramming his fists into the boy’s stomach, causing him to gasp out in surprise as the kid laughed at his misery. “No, I don't think I did, considering I just got my hands on two of the most powerful and valuable pieces the port mafia has to offer.”
The kid then clawed his fingers into Chuuya’s scalp in order to make the ginger look straight at him. “You see, once I get you and Dazai to spill Mori’s dirty little secrets and follow me instead, I’ll have more than just my freedom, I’ll have the world and not even Mori will be able to stand in our way.”
Follow him instead? What a stupid idiot. This guy didn’t just want to break free from his lowly position, he wanted to succeed the boss as the leader of the port mafia. Such naive thinking, he really was a kid, wanting more than what was physically possible.
So much so, Chuuya only laughed at his pathetic attempts. “Yeah? And you do know that Dazai doesn’t follow rules very well, right? Not even the boss can tie him down so good luck trying to get me and him to do jack shit.”
And he hoped that would be enough to make this pathetic whiny kid rethink his plans but it only caused his shit eating grin to grow tenfold before letting go of Chuuya’s scalp in order to hook his fingers around the restraints holding his hands together. “Oh, but don’t you see that it’s already been proven? We have a secret weapon, after all. One that even got the fearsome Nakahara Chuuya to disarm himself willingly.”
Feeling his eyes hollow at the implication of the kid’s words, he then watched his captor slowly step away in order to turn towards the shaking and clearly fearful girl to his left. “Such power you have, a pretty little thing like you. I almost feel bad that you got caught up in all of this.”
He then leaned down towards her in order to tap her cheek with his finger condescendingly as she tried to lean away. “I mean, my men wanted to drug you as well but that’s not the way to treat a lady, now is it? You should be thanking me for being so gentle.”
Chuuya wanted to be sick though, watching this slimy worm touch her like that. He didn’t care if this guy was the same age as them, she was too nice of a person to be treated that awfully. And saying that she should be thanking him for his abuse?
Fuck that, this kid was dead. “Don’t you fucking dare, you bastard! Get away from her!”
But with no use of his body, the ginger found it difficult to act on his threat, and his captor knew that as well, using the opportunity to roughly latch onto her cheeks and force her to look up at him with cocky resolve.
Then, she spoke, her voice laced with so much confusion and terror that he made Chuuya’s heart break right in half. “I-I don’t understand..what’s going on..?”
The traitor then twisted his lips upwards before pouting them out in the most degrading way possible to make her seem stupid. “Aww poor baby, let me explain it to you in simple terms. Your boyfriend has a lot of enemies and since they can’t get to him, you're the next best thing.”
Her response was barely a whisper. “W-What..?”
Turning his head to the side in a mocking manner, the kid then dug his nails into her cheeks a little rougher, feeling her head jerk at the sudden pain before leaning closer until she could feel his breath on her face. “Still too complex for you? I’ll dumb it down some more. We are using you to hurt him, doll.”
He then watched her lips push together for a millisecond, almost like she was trying to hold some sort of response before finally releasing them. “H-Hurt, why me?”
And because her display was just absolutely pathetic, the traitor let go of his hold in order to slimy run his finger across the reddened spots on her skin with a condescending hum. “Because you are the demon prodigy’s precious girlfriend, that’s why. Your sweet innocent little demeanor is just begging to be corrupted for anyone’s personal gain. What an idiot Dazai is, attaching himself to such a scared little rabbit, cocky that he’ll protect you even though he’s already failed so miserably.”
He wondered why a man like Dazai would ever pick someone as weak as her to be his beloved treasure. Because from the looks of it, the girl was nothing special. Hell, he had even heard that she had even ran straight into the line of fire the moment she found out the guy was kidnapped.
It was almost as if the idiot wanted to get taken hostage by acting so foolishly
What a stupid response, she didn’t stand a chance in this world, did she?
Chuckling to himself, the kid then reached his other hand into his pocket, pulling out a switchblade and holding the knife close to her throat with psychotic glee. “I wonder what kind of expression he’ll make if I bring him a finger or an earlobe of his precious little lover? Surely he’ll be more complacent in my plans to take down Mori then, don’t you think, doll?”
Once again, her head jerked against his hand, causing the traitor to laugh in order to push the side of his blade even closer to her neck, leaving a thin line of blood in its place and compelling her to still.
And a second later she did, Asagao no longer fighting his hold for fear of getting her throat cut open completely. Huh, she could take orders well. What a good little doll she was.
Yet that’s when he heard her voice again, the tone slightly more confident from her previous remarks, almost like she couldn’t help the change. “B-But hypothetically what if that Mori guy finds out about all of this? If he sees that Osamu is getting blackmailed then he won’t give him any more secrets, right?”
Her question was strangely intelligent, more so than any of the other pathetic responses she had been giving.
So much so, the kid decided to mock her for it. “What a surprisingly diligent question for a stupid little civilian. Yes, that’s true but Mori will never find out about this conversation today so he’ll be none the wiser.”
Shrugging his shoulders carelessly, the boy hummed. “The only ones that know about my plan are you, Chuuya and Dazai and by the end of today all of you will either be disposed of or on my side so it doesn’t matter. Nothing is getting out today. I’ve made sure of it.”
Asagao then took in his words for a moment before replying shortly. “And what if that doesn't work? What if taking me doesn’t change anything and Osamu still doesn’t listen like Chuuya says he won’t?”
The kid only turned his head though, like the answer was simple. “Then we’ll just kill you.”
And that seemed to be enough for Chuuya, the boy shouting from across the room in order to break his threat immediately. “Like hell! Don’t listen to him, Asa. I won’t let anyone lay a hand on you.”
The traitor only snorted in reply though, glancing back towards the pathetically bound ginger haired boy next to him. “Says the boy that’s completely incapacitated. Face it, Chuuya. You can’t do shit. Here, I’ll show you.”
Leaning back down towards Asa’s eye level, the kid then reached forward in order to wrap his fingers around the large circular framed glasses that hid her expression. “Come on, doll. Let’s see those pretty tears I know you’re hiding, hmm?”
He then slowly pulled off the metal objects, a shit eating grin on his face as he waited with bated breath to see just how distraught and terrified his little hostage was. Based on her body language and response thus far it was sure to be a sight.
Asagao immediately protested as well, trying to shift her head away with a pathetic whimper. “N-No..don’t..”
And from the angle he was at and the drugs in his system, the ginger couldn’t see Asagao’s face, unable to turn his head in any capacity except for his wild and anxious eyes.
But even still, he could see enough as the gross bastard's fingers finally fully pulled off her glasses with a victorious chuckle despite his own threats. “I said don’t touch..!’
Yet that’s when Chuuya watched the traitor’s smile quickly fizzle away and physically flinch, reeling backwards a couple steps with wide eyes, like he was gazing at some kind of ghost or demon. “W-What the hell..”
It was so surprising then that the kid tripped over his own feet, falling straight on his ass in order to stare hollowly at the girl before him. But what the hell was this guy seeing that was so scary? Nothing about Asagao had been scary to Chuuya.
What could’ve possibly gained such a reaction?
But for the traitor, he couldn’t seem to look away, locked onto the hollow and dead eyes staring right through his soul, void of life, void of care. They swallowed him whole without a second thought, leaving him to drown in her own scrutiny.
He had never seen that kind of look from anyone before. She wasn’t crying or scared at all. In fact, her eyes held no reaction whatsoever to his rough treatment, almost like it didn’t shake her in any kind of way, like nothing could shake her in any kind of way.
Finally gaining the courage to crawl closer, the kid then reached out a shaky hand in order to pull her face closer with quiet inspection. “What an ugly beast you turned out to be. No wonder why Dazai chose you, only a demon could love a face like that.”
His words were cruel, causing Chuuya to yell out another obscenity but the traitor hardly cared, watching as his insults did nothing to the hollow expression in her eyes, the words simply fizzling away the minute they reached her ears.
This girl, was she even human?
Feeling a chill creep up his spine from the reaction, the kid then quickly pushed his hand up in order to cover her haunted iris’ and shove her head into the prison wall behind him with an anxious yet amused chuckle of insanity.
What was he getting so worked up about? She was just a defenseless princess, helpless at his mercy. So what if she had scary eyes, it didn’t change the fact that he had the upper hand here, and he needed to prove that.
Because of that, the traitor sought for his power back, glancing down towards her quivering lips in order to lean closer to her ear with a breathy whisper of depravity. “But when I do this you aren’t so bad. Perhaps I should see what the executive sees in you, hmm? My, how furious he’ll be to learn that I tasted his lover like this.”
Then before Asa could speak, the kid forced his lips onto hers, shoving her further into the prison wall as Chuuya’s eyes grew livid with complete and absolute rage. That shitty traitorous bastard, just what was he doing?!
His voice bounced off the wall in an instant, forcing his body to move through the drugs to no avail as the tone turned hoarse and yet lethally dangerous. “Stop it, you bastard!! You’re so fucking dead, you hear me?! I’m gonna kill you!!”
The traitor didn’t listen though, his palm pushing further into her blinded eyes in order to press his body closer to hers and lay claim to the one thing the demon prodigy had taken for his own.
That’s right. He’d soil her lips, corrupt her with his touch, control her consent and then that executive would regret ever denying his orders.
Finally pulling back a second later, he then licked his lips in a disgusting manner before removing his hands from her eyes in order to forcibly pull the bow from her hair as the wild auburn strands cascaded across her face in order to cover her expression.
Then he playfully spun her glasses around on his fingers in order to slip them back into his pocket with a smirk. “Now that’s taken care of, I’m gonna go pay your boyfriend a visit and show him these. You better pray that he cares enough to keep you alive, doll. Or else things won’t be ending well for you.”
Laughing to himself, the traitor then turned around in order to ascend the steps behind him and slam the door loudly before Chuuya immediately turned towards the silent girl to his left in order to shake his head with invisible pain.
He wanted to speak to her, to tell her that everything was going to be alright but things were looking grim. He was sure that Dazai wouldn’t care about her life which meant that if he didn’t get out of here soon, things would be over for her.
Shit, he didn’t want any of this to happen, especially to her. She was so sweet and kind to him back in that cafe, she didn’t deserve to deal with Dazai’s bullshit and now look at what happened.
She was utterly destroyed because of the selfish desires of a demon.
-------
Strolling melodically through the abandoned building that was now his makeshift compound, the traitor threw open the double doors in front of him in order to come face to face with the demon prodigy himself.
He looked absolutely unbothered, chained to a metal chair in the very center of the room with nothing else around it. And even though he was just as helpless as Asagao and Chuuya, it certainly didn’t feel like it.
That was the problem with Dazai, he always seemed to have the upper hand, when in fact it was the kid that held all the power. “Ready to talk yet, executive?”
Dazai only lifted his head absentmindedly though, absolutely calm and collected. “Nah, I don’t think I wanna..sorry..”
He wasn’t sorry though, that much was evident from the cocky ass grin on his face. Well, then let’s see how he reacts to this. “Then maybe this will change your mind.”
Throwing the circular glasses onto the floor in front of him, the kid then watched as Dazai’s smile slowly fell in order to stare at the ominous objects in a tense silence.
Yes, this was it. He knew that girl was his weak point. Now he could control the great demon in whatever way he wanted. Mori was a goner.
Yet that’s when the mafioso simply snorted at the glasses in order to laugh rather hysterically under his breath, almost like he had just seen the funniest thing known to man.
Already growing furious from his reaction, the traitor shouted back. “What are you laughing about? Don’t you get it? I have your girl! She’s chained up and at my mercy right now along with your orange haired partner!”
Once again though, the demon laughed even harder. “At your mercy? You really think that, huh? You and Chuuya are the same kind of stupid it seems..”
Almost immediately, the kid felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment for his lackluster reaction. Why was he acting like that? Didn’t he understand the situation he was in at all? “S-Stupid!? I’m serious, I’ll hurt her if you don’t comply with my demands!”
Finally getting his unruly giggles under control, the executive then narrowed his unbandaged eye in cold resolve at the traitor before simply shrugging his shoulders. “Okay, go ahead and try it.”
Okay ahead and try it? That’s all he had to say? What the hell, what a horribly lukewarm response. This was Dazai’s girlfriend he was talking about. He should’ve been spiraling in a blind rage or begging for her release, right?
So why was he instead coaxing him to go through with his threat? Was Chuuya right, did he truly not care about the bound auburn haired civilian he had been hanging off of all day?
Feeling at a loss with the boy, his captor couldn’t help but stutter. “W-What? What does that mean? You really don’t care about her? That innocent stupid girl, you’ll really let her die like that?”
The air was silent then, watching as Dazai simply took in his words before his lips curved upwards into a wince of a smile almost like he couldn’t help it. “As if she’d allow someone like you to pull the trigger.”
And there was a surprising amount of emotions behind that smile, ones that the traitor noticed but couldn’t decipher whatsoever. They felt bitter, like an unruly regret mixed with jealousy and yet soft like a hidden promise all at the same time.
So much so, the look caused the kid to finally lose his temper and point a finger at the clearly calm mafioso. “Enough! I’ll bring the girl in here myself and then you’ll see just how serious I am. Let’s see how defiant you are when I force you to watch her bleed firsthand.”
And he hoped that would be enough to make him crack, to shatter the carefully crafted expression that was painted on his face. He had to react to that, right? Anyone would falter when face to face with their crying and screaming lover.
Yet that’s when Dazai simply hummed under his breath in order to turn his head towards the side with precise precision. “Oh, I wouldn’t suggest that if I were you..”
Finally, now they were getting somewhere. At last Dazai was threatening him now. That showed that he cared in some kind of capacity.
Twisting his lips into a lethal smirk, the traitor then leaned forward into the mafioso’s face, knowing he got under his skin. “Why, because you’ll make me regret it?”
Although the demon then narrowed his eyes in response before pushing his lips together a sing-song tone, kicking his bound feet absentmindedly under the chair. “Wronggg, it's not me you have to worry about.”
The response mocked him in the worst possible way, causing the kid’s anger to spike even more. What the hell did that mean? What could be more fearsome than the demon prodigy? Surely nothing.
Shaking his head absentmindedly, the kid then brushed the comment off before turning around in order to speak as he left. “If you’re talking about Chuuya, he's been incapacitated along with the girl. No one is going to save her.”
Yet the moment he disappeared, Dazai lifted his head up to the ceiling, a cruel and waiting smile upon his lips as he thought about the utter destruction that would be on that guy’s face when he found out the truth.
Of course he wasn’t talking about Chuuya.
“You're speaking as if she needs saving.”
------
Chuuya’s sad pitiful eyes continued to stare at Asagao in pure silence as her head continued to lull down towards the ground just like how that bastard left her.
He concluded that she must’ve been in some kind of shock, being forcibly kissed like that, it definitely hurt her immensely, so much so that he cursed Dazai’s name by the second.
Yet that’s when he heard a pathetic little sniffle sound from her lips, causing Chuuya’s eyes to ring his alarm in order to force his groggy and sluggish head to turn even a millimeter closer to her direction.
No, he couldn’t just sit here, he had to help her somehow. “H-Hey, it’s okay, don’t cry. You gotta keep your head up, yeah? You’re gonna get out of here I promise, then I’ll make that sorry bastard pay for touching you. I promise.”
Even still, it didn’t stop her shaky breaths. In fact, his words just seemed to make everything worse, the girl crying a little bit louder than before, much to Chuuya’s panic. “S-Shit, no no it’s okay. I’m sorry, I’m not good at this, I’ve never had to console anyone before. Just tell me what to say, alright? Tell me whatever you need and I’ll do it. Anything, just stop cryin like that, please..”
A second later he heard her speak, just barely above a whisper. “A-Anything?”
Forcing his head to nod back immediately, Chuuya shouted. “Yes! I swear, you just gotta say it.”
And he meant that with his entire heart. Anything to make her wipe that utterly hopeless aura that was around her. Anything to stop the corruption that was so clearly taking place. Hell, if she asked him to cut off his own arm he probably would’ve done it right then and there.
Anything to bring that stupid goofy smile back onto her face.
The air was silent then, Chuuya waiting with baited breath for her next words only to be caught off guard completely. “T-Then..can I call you Chu Chu..?”
And to be honest, the arm decapitation example he just used seemed a lot more bearable than her actual request. She had to be kidding, right? Out of everything she could’ve possibly said, it had to be that. “H-Huh?”
She must have sensed his displeasure though, the girl’s voice immediately shrinking back into herself as he watched her shake her head dismissively. “S-Sorry, it’s dumb. Forget it.”
It was dumb, the stupidest thing in the entire world but although he recognized that, her sad and depressing response was enough to get him to speak without thinking. “N-No no it’s okay. You can, you can call me that.”
But once it was said, it couldn’t be taken back, Chuuya watching Asa’s head perk up just slightly in hopeful resolve. “R-Really? You promise you won’t take it back?”
Ah hell, she really wanted this didn’t she? Was this seriously the only way she’d stop being so depressed and keep going? Because of that, Chuuya felt his throat sound in groaning defeat.
What’s the worst that could happen, right? He wasn’t even sure if this girl was going to make it out of here alive tonight. If this is all he could do for her then so be it.
Closing his eyes for a moment, the mafioso then opened them before replying begrudgingly. “Yeah yeah, I promise. You gotta stop crying though.”
Yet, the moment those words left his lips, Chuuya then watched as her sad and quiet sniffles seemed to evaporate into the air, almost like they never existed in the first place. “Okay!”
Wait what?
Feeling immediately whiplashed with confusion, the boy tried to process the reaction to no avail. Hold on, there was that feeling again, the one that gave him an unpleasant sense of deja vu.
The one he always felt when talking to Dazai. “Huh?”
Just then, the door slammed open again, shattering his suspicions and redirecting his attention to a group of about a dozen men as they surrounded both him and Asagao wordlessly. “H-Hey, what the hell are you doing?!”
The men simply didn’t answer, their hands unhooking the long chains from both of their restraints before both of them were pulled up and roughly shoved towards the door.
And soon enough the two found themselves in a large room, surrounded by other port mafia traitors as Chuuya furiously found the tied bandaged bastard in the very center, still being bound by a chair.
There that stupid mackerel was, and if he didn’t die today then Chuuya promised that he’d be dead in another way for leaving his poor sacred girlfriend all alone tonight.
A loud snap was overheard then, causing the men to immediately shove both the gravity manipulator and Dazai’s girlfriend on their knees before the soft click of a gun was pressed to their temples in silent wait.
Feeling his breath sharply gasp at the sight, Chuuya immediately called out to the seemingly calm mafioso. “You better get her out of this or so help me, Dazai!”
Dazai then pretended to think for a second before shaking his head once, enraging his partner even more. “Mmm no, I don’t think I will.”
Gasping at the complete disregard for his own girlfriend’s safety, the boy felt like he was going to be sick with fury. After the utter hell Asagao had gone through tonight because of Dazai's own reckless actions, he still wasn’t going to save her?
And though he should’ve expected the behavior, that didn’t make it any less awful. He thought that just maybe, there was a sliver of a chance that things were going to be different this time, that the demon would be able to see the utter helplessness in her eyes and finally give a shit for once.
But here he was just like all the times before, destroying anything that didn’t bring him value, killing this girl with his own words right in front of her eyes. It was cruel, he was so cruel for this.
So much so, Chuuya couldn’t take it anymore. “W-What?! You piece of shit, take that back! She’s your girlfriend and you put her in danger! Take responsibility for something in your damn life for once, will you?!”
His yelling did nothing to shake him though, Dazai simply turning his head with absolute disinterest before the traitorous kid cut him off, sick of the melodrama that was happening around him. “That’s enough out of you. Now, Dazai. What do you say? Will you choose my offer or will you watch your precious little girlfriend die in front of your eyes? Which will it be?”
Then as if to prove his threat, his captor snapped his fingers once more as the safety disappeared from the gun holding Asagao hostage before she seemingly shuttered.
Poor girl, she couldn’t even look up at them to see Dazai’s betrayal. Oh how those words must’ve hurt her deeply to not even have the strength to lift her sorry head.
Yet that’s when Dazai’s words turned into something different, something more condescending than before. “I choose the third option.”
Feeling himself pause, the kid frowned. “Third option? But there is no third option..”
His response only seemed to spark amusement though, coating Dazai’s entire face in order for him to narrow his eyes once more in a mocking reply. “Not that you know of, but it’s always been there. Isn’t that right, my loyal hound?”
Chuuya only groaned in response though. Now was not the time for that stupid degrading nickname. He didn’t even know what the hell he was talking about. “Dazai, I told you to stop calling me that!”
Dazai then closed his eyes, a calculating smile appearing on his lips before opening them with pure sick delight, almost like he had been waiting a long time to say his next words.
And when he did, everyone in the room could feel the power they held. “Oh Chuuya, this time I wasn’t talking about you.”
Then the demon prodigy shifted his gaze from his idiot partner to the quiet and pensive girl beside him in order to speak his command loudly. “Sic ’em’.”
Almost instantly, the air around the entire space dropped, shifting like a curse before hearing the seemingly docile and traumatized civilian’s lips start to sound in a sick twisted giggle, almost like she couldn’t hold in her excitement anymore.
Then everyone watched as the beast from hell itself lifted her up head with a bloodthirsty and terrifying grin, shaking the very foundations of the room. “Finally! I’ve been waiting all day to play around with you. Let’s hope you make it worth my while.”
Chuuya then blinked in utter shock before somehow finding that the situation had changed in an instant, watching as Asagao seemingly switched places with the man holding her at gunpoint.
No, now she was on top of him, pressing her foot into his back, his stolen gun hovering above the back of his head as the man was cuffed and chained with the restraints that she had been in a millisecond before.
Hold on, what was going on?! Had Chuuya just imagined that? He thought for sure that she was one being held captive. How did things change around so quickly? He didn’t even see her move at all. Did she move at all?
And most importantly why was she holding that gun like a trained professional?
She was just a civilian, right?
The men around her seemed to be unable to process the scene as well, their weapons immediately drawn in order for Asa’s excitement to spiral tenfold at the smell of a fight. “Well then, who’s first?”
Gritting his teeth, the leader of the group then pointed his finger out to the crazed woman before shouting roughly. “Get her!”
Then all at once, every single thug raced towards her all at once, causing Asagao’s fingers to shake with that all too familiar adrenaline she loved to drown herself in. “Oh, I’m gonna enjoy this...”
And Chuuya could feel the shift immediately, the lingering and lethal aura around her entire body as she practically shivered with growing anticipation for the oncoming threat.
Almost like she was daring them to live up the challenge of pleasing her insatiable appetite.
Yet before they could reach her, the girl seemingly disappeared from beside the ginger haired boy, the thugs gasping in order to feel a hand on their shoulder, tapping them condescending from behind. “Looking for someone?”
The armed man then turned around only for their gun to point at the intruder before finding absolutely no one there. Hold on, they could’ve sworn they heard a voice.
Blinking once again, Chuuya then found a flash of turquoise, the fluffy princess skirt swaying in silent wait as she stood in front of him with her back turned and arms outstretched. “Come on, give me a real fight! Show me what you got!”
She was taunting them, mocking them to attack her to which they complied, the men quickly turning back around in order to give her what she asked for, much to her very obvious excitement.
Yet the moment one of them swung their arms across, Asagao was gone, appearing by his side in order to dodge his measly hit like it meant absolutely nothing to her.
And try as they may, none of the lowly thugs could even touch her, the girl moving too fast in and out of reality for them to even comprehend where she was before hitting thin air instead.
It was like she was doing it on purpose also, purposely slipping just out of reach in order to toy with the newest pieces she had acquired for her sick little game.
Yet with each miss the men seemed to grow more and more furious, their senses heightened before finally landing a powerful and painful blow to her stomach. Finally, now she would be sorry and pay for her games.
Although that’s when they heard Asagao simply laugh, holding the pained area with even more unriddled adrenaline and sick delight. “Now that’s what I’m talking about! Ah, you’re making me wanna show off now!”
Chuuya then watched in stunned horror as the men around him suddenly started screaming as bleeding bullet wounds appeared like some sort of sick curse, shooting through their arms, legs and other non fatal patches of skin in order for them to crumble with breathless panic.
What the hell was going on? What kind of ability was this? Was this seriously Asagao? No, it couldn’t be. He couldn’t believe it. This was like an invisible bloodbath, the bullets in the girl's gun causing mass casualty in a mere second.
Then his thoughts were brought back in order to see the man next to him seemingly clutch onto his chest in agony as the arm holding the gun to the ginger's head snapped unnaturally in the wrong direction, causing him to drop the weapon in an instant.
Not knowing what to say, Chuuya then wordlessly stared as Asagao appeared beside him, her face unseen and body moving behind him as the boy couldn’t help but question absolutely everything.
A million thoughts ran through his mind but only one seemed to break through the silence, causing his lips to waver with uncertainty. “H-How?”
He needed to know, more than anything else. How did she do this? How had she managed to take down so many enemies in the span of seconds. It had to be an ability of some kind. But what was it?
Yet that’s when he felt her fingers brush against the restraints behind his back, touching the skin silently before Chuuya gasped at the world around him.
Suddenly, everything was still, like someone had just hit pause on the entire fight.
The thugs that had been running towards them seemed petrified in place, their arms outstretched like statues or strange stagnant art pieces. Hold on, was this her ability? Was this how she was able to move so quickly and hurt all those people with ease?
Feeling her fingers fiddle with the cuffs behind him, Chuuya then sharply drew in a breath before the metal restraints fell towards the ground and the world to reanimate with just as much noise and shouting as it had been a few seconds before.
Suddenly things started to make more sense. Her ability stopped time, didn’t it? He had gotten it wrong, she wasn’t moving too fast for him to comprehend, she was simply taking advantage of the suspended moments in order to seem invisible.
The very thought made Chuuya shiver unexpectedly. What a scary power that was, being able to manipulate the world around her while everyone else stood clueless. And was this just showing off? The thought was absolutely terrifying to think about, how she could bring down such a large group of men without a single touch.
Just who in the hell was this woman?
Dazai on the other hand just stared wordlessly at the carnage, the screams and shouts of pain deaf inside his ears as he watched Odasaku’s sister take down one measly thug after another.
He knew she was powerful but this was the first time he had seen the extent of her ability up close. When they spared together she was fast sure, but she was never this fast, the girl always opting to hold back in order not to seriously injure him on accident.
But right now there were no boundaries, her opponents didn’t have the same mercy that he was given, and now he was seeing her for the very first time, in all her hellhound glory.
The meticulous shots, the absolute carnage she could conjure from seemingly nothing, it was all on display right before his very eyes.
And he loved every minute of it.
Sure, to most the scene would’ve been alarming, sending even the most daring people away immediately. But not Dazai. To him the blood and the gruesome sight only enhanced a part of her that he found absolutely enthralling.
Blinking once in pride, Dazai then paused in order find Asagao standing in front of him, someone else’s blood on her turquoise princess dress, a stolen loaded gun hanging by her side and an unruly mane of red fiery auburn falling around her face as she stared at him with that very familiar dead hollow gaze that captured him time and time again.
The sight caused a breath to lodge in his throat without permission.
God, she was so different than anything he had ever seen before, commanding his attention and drawing him in without a single word.
Sure, she had always been pretty. He wasn’t blind. For someone as experienced as he was with intimacy even Dazai could decipher when someone was pleasing to the eye.
It was never about that though. His relationships were merely an indifference of appearance, an uneven scale to what they could offer him. Beauty was a shallow thing, doing nothing for the boy rather than one night of indulgence before he quickly got bored.
He just never cared about appearance in the kind of way that other normal boys did. It simply wasn’t a factor in the equation for him.
Personal gain was what mattered most which meant that the boy had no desire in things that wouldn’t end with that result.
He never sought after giving gifts or special treatment with frivolous promises that he knew he couldn’t ever keep.
Which was why it was so strange that he had changed his self made rule the day he walked by that hauntingly alluring teal and turquoise dress hanging in the window by the port mafia base.
It was almost like he couldn’t help it, his eyes immediately drawn to the fabric and losing himself in the color that he knew so well.
And he tried to ignore it, by god did he try, but it seemed that whenever he tried to leave he always seemed to find himself back at that store window.
Not only that, wandering thoughts haunted him wherever he went, imagining how the brightly colored hue would look against her skin and fitted around her curves over and over like on repeat.
Then before he could even comprehend what he was doing, the item was in between his fingers inside a frilly pink bag, clashing against his broody and black style almost immediately.
She didn’t seem to mind his moment of weakness though. On the contrary, Asagao was overjoyed by the dress, spinning around with it against her chest in a happy little circle when she received it.
But when she asked him why he had done such a thing, even he couldn’t give himself an answer.
Those thoughts kept him occupied most of the day, his eyes staring at her with silent conjecture while sitting in that cafe.
At the time, he just didn’t understand what coaxed him into doing such a thing, into breaking the very clearly placed rules that he had set for himself.
Yes she looked good when she first tried it on, fitting the idealistic clean and expected air of normality. Not a hair was out of place, each wrinkle carefully pressed and tuned to orderly demure.
But staring at her right now, Dazai realized that it was so much more than that.
Because what he was looking at now couldn’t be described, not in anything that Dazai could perceive in his own fucked up mind but there were words, fractured syllables and sentences that still broke through the silence.
A rarity, a one of a kind wonder, a gem of absolute unique brilliance. It wasn’t something that just anyone could understand the value of.
Suddenly, everything started to make sense, his lips falling open with careful realization.
That put together version of her was nice but this was the version that made everything inside him flatter and malfunction.
Everything about her now was wild, unkempt and messy, insanity mixing with sensibility, and Dazai couldn’t get enough of it.
She was absolutely radiant, the blood on her dress and the cold lifeless look in her eyes causing him to sharply breathe in a light headed air.
Those foolish idiots that overlooked her all those years just didn’t get it. They took one look at her and claimed her as unfinished. They only saw and labeled her as unworthy, as a faulty result..
But in this moment, Dazai only saw perfection.
And he was damn glad that he had broken those rules and bought her that dress.
So much so, his dazed expression couldn’t help but soften at the sight, his lips speaking out without permission. “Stunning..”
Almost instantly though, the boy seemed to catch himself, screwing his lips shut with embarrassment before feeling slightly more self continuous then before. What was that, why did that slip out so suddenly?
He didn’t mean for that to happen.
Yet that’s when Asagao simply smiled, her lips mimicking his gentle expression before reaching her hand out of him. “There you are, Osamu. I missed you.”
Feeling his heart tumble inside his chest at her words, Dazai then watched her use her ability to disappear before he felt the chains around his arms and chest start to loosen all at once. “Now sit still, I’m here to save the princess.”
A second later, he felt movement return to his muscles before he rubbed the marks on his wrists silently. Sure, he could’ve gotten out of this way sooner but having Asagao help him was so much better than him doing it himself.
So, instead he acted dumb and let her be his knight in shining armor.
Then once he was standing Asa gave him a sideways glance in order to hear about a dozen more men enter the large empty space before sliding the stolen pistol she had acquired into his palm. “Here. Now let’s have some fun. What do you say?”
And both Asagao and Dazai knew the lure of such a thing was far too appealing to be ignored, the demon prodigy simply smiling with acknowledgment in order to take the weapon gladly.
Before finally turning back to her with a look filled with lingering adrenaline and absolute adoration.
“You know I could never resist such a tempting offer. Especially from you, love.”
-------
Forcing his tired and woozy legs to function onto his knees, Chuuya huffed out a struggling breath from the other side of the room in order to join the fight now that he had his ability back.
Before snapping his head back up at the sound of gunfire once more.
But this time what he found wasn’t just Asagao but rather Dazai as well, working in tandem just like he had witnessed back at the karaoke bar earlier today, their steps concise and hypervigilant as they raised their fists and weapons towards the group of traitors.
And though he hated even thinking about it, Chuuya couldn’t help but be awed at the sight just like he was during their silly little performances. There was just something about it, the way they both narrowly avoided their hits by a mere millisecond, predicting and adapting in real time before his very eyes.
Hell, even Chuuya knew he was never this in tune with his own partner. It was almost as if the two rehearsed this shit or something considering it was so flawless.
Grumbling at the implication, the ginger then activated his ability in order for the rest of the men around them to seemingly collapse under the suffocating weight of their own gravity, rendering the threat gone before those two freaks could finish picking them off.
Dazai then perked his head up before whistling back loudly to the fuming dog. “Finally you do something useful. I was starting to think you were just gonna make us do all the work.”
Rolling his eyes, the boy grumbled back. Did he not just see that he had been drugged, chained and beaten up until now? “Shut up, you damn mackerel. This was all your fault in the first place.”
The executive then opened his mouth to speak again only for the so-called “leader” of the traitors to do so for him, his eyes howling at the absolute desecration and bloody carnage around him before speaking distantly. “I don’t understand. What happened?”
His men, his following, they were all gone except for him. And it was all because of that woman, the one that he had foolishly painted as an innocent civilian.
Dazai then lifted his hand up casually, stepping around one of the unconscious bodies with ease. “I can answer that question. You see, I knew from the extent of our scheduled meeting that you had plans for an uprising against the port mafia, so I decided to have a little fun with it.”
The words were lost in his ears though. “A little fun..?”
Nodding once, the demon then extended his hand out to the blood covered female beside him before smiling maliciously. “But I knew that you’d never be dumb enough to target me directly. Enemies find weakness after all, and nothing is more weak than that of a defenseless lover, right?”
Asagao then smirked before putting her wrists together to mimic the chains that were once around her. “Tell me, was I a good enough target for you to kidnap?”
And although the traitor was certainly taken back by their words, Chuuya was the one that felt his mouth drop open with a brain numbing malfunction. No, it couldn’t be.
He had criticized Dazai all day for putting his girlfriend in danger, for flaunting her in public and in the eyes of enemies without a care in the world. But all of that dismissal, it was on purpose, it was to make her the target all along.
Everything began to make sense now. Their place in front of that large bay window overlooked the crowded streets, the way Dazai clung to her like a desperate lover and showed extreme pda for everyone to see.
It was because he knew that these guys were watching, and the two of them were just giving them the show they wanted to see.
What shady little freaks. They knew that they would end up here all along, didn’t they? All this time, the two of them had planned all of this to take down the port mafia traitors without them knowing.
That bastard's reaction, the one that Chuuya had been fuming over, it wasn’t based on disinterest. It was based on calculation.
That’s why he didn’t jump at the chance to save her. Chuuya thought he was just being cruel but perhaps that wasn’t the case at all. Perhaps he had counted on her from the very start.
Could it really all have been an act all this time? The cruelty, the discard, was it all lies or just an over exaggerated version of the truth?
The ginger didn’t know the answer but what he did know was that by trusting Asagao to go this far, Dazai was already far out of his usual character. Suggesting that perhaps the affection for this girl ran deeper than even Dazai seemed to realize.
The kid then stuttered back, unable to grasp onto the slipping power that he once had by the second before countering. “I-I doesn’t matter. No one will believe that I turned into a traitor. My men are loyal to me. Even if you kill me you have no proof of what happened here today.”
Yeah, that’s right. His friends had been sworn to secrecy. Even torture wouldn’t reveal his true intentions to cause harm to the port mafia.
Yet that's when Asagao simply turned her head in question. “Oh, you mean proof like this?”
Lifting her hand up, the girl then ran a couple fingers across the wild auburn strands before pulling out a small tiny bobby pin in order to push the button of the side as a very familiar voice filled the air.
His voice.
“You see, once I get you and Dazai to spill Mori’s dirty little secrets and follow me instead, I’ll have more than just my freedom, I’ll have the world and not even Mori will be able to stand in our way.”
And just like that, his entire regime crumbled before his very eyes, the hands by his side turning so white from rage that he couldn’t slow it. This bitch, she was recording him this whole time, coaxing him into revealing his plan.
It was over, everything was over. It didn’t matter if he got away today, he was a dead man either way. “Y-You..what..”
Asagao then turned her head to the side, her lips protruding in a mocking fashion before reveling in his downfall. “Aww poor baby, still too complex? Let me dumb it down for you some more. You’ve been played, doll.”
Those words, they were the same ones he had taunted her with and yet now they slapped right back into his face, making his entire body redden with embarrassment. How dare she treat him like an idiot and condescend him like that.
He was supposed to be the one with the power. Not her.
Dazai then laughed cynically at the dumbfounded face of his enemy before wrapping his bandaged arms around Asa’s waist in order to speak plainly. “All of you are so stupid, undermining her like nothing when my girl is way more capable than any of you will ever be.”
The way he spoke those words, they were so prideful and laced with admiration, two things that no one in the room thought a demon was capable of except the girl beside him.
And the second he said it, Asagao felt her eyes widen a fraction of an inch before a flustered blush crept into her cheeks without permission
His girl.
He just called her his girl .
Osamu had never done that before.
Yet that seems to be the last straw for the faltering villain, Dazai’s words causing the kid to scream with fury, his hand reaching outwards as red lethal strings started to seep from his fingertips in order to face the unbothered girl across from him.
How dare Dazai’s girlfriend make him look like a fool. She was going to regret that more than anything. “Y-You deceiving bitch! You ruined everything! I’m gonna kill you!”
Chuuya’s eyes immediately widened anxiety, the red glow of his ability threatening to seep out before he watched Dazai simply step in front of her the girl, shielding her from the hit as the bandaged boy’s ability nullified the attack the second it threatened to touch him.
Faltering a single step back, the kid then physically flitch as Asagao’s smile dropped at the attempt on Osamu before his blood run cold. The traitor then felt his ribs crying in pain as both his legs snapped without warning, bringing him down to his knees before crumbling towards the cement floor with a scream filled with so much agony and ear shattering torture. “F-Fuck, you broke my legs?!”
Snapping his head up in fury, the kid then froze as Asagao’s hollow and lifeless stare met his shaky one, her finger cocking the pistol in her hands in silent wait.
She then turned her gun slightly before speaking. “I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, I can do much worse. Wanna see?”
Placing her finger immediately over the trigger, the traitor gasped in horror as she took the shot, his eyes squeezing shut with a pathetic little scream.
This was it, it was over. No, he didn’t wanna die! Please no, anything but that. He was still a kid!
Yet that’s when he heard the bullets from the chamber clatter onto the floor with a careful cling, like she had emptied them before pulling the trigger. But how?
It must have been her ability that changed his fate at the last second. That was the only explanation.
Narrowing her cold eyes, Asa then lowered her hand down, disarming herself with a hiss. “But, I refuse to go back to that, especially for someone as insignificant and ugly as you.”
She spoke them like a mantra, like they weighed more than her life itself, so much so the kid felt his lips quiver out a breath of relief.
The calm was short lived though, the kid watching as Asa’s nose then scrunched with disgust as her hand began to shake on the gun by her side.
It was almost as if she was holding herself back from breaking that promise, the emptiness in her eyes revealing only murder and destruction.
And Asagao, she could feel it. The adrenaline, the training she had been given as a child sounded in her head, begging her to finish the job as she has been conditioned to do.
But even so, she withheld, the girl allowing a crazed chuckle to seep from her lips instead to release some of her insanity. “And you’re damn lucky I’m not an assassin anymore otherwise every single shot I just delivered would’ve been fatal. Let that sink in, will you? How easily I could’ve ended every single one of your lives with a snap of my fingers.”
At the sound of her words, Chuuya’s gaze then shifted towards the multitude of unconscious and bleeding bodies around them, the warehouse looking more like a graveyard more than a building now.
Was she serious? Every single shot, every place she hit was deliberate? That was absolutely crazy.
Then again, it made sense. No one could blindly shoot and miss someone’s vitals every single time like that. Even a shitty wielder would’ve gotten lucky at least once.
How absolutely terrifying, to know that this girl could’ve killed everyone in the room if she really wanted to. Hell, the fact that she held back honestly felt scarier than just getting the job done.
Because now there was the lingering dread hanging in the air, signifying that they were one breath away from an absolute bloodbath.
Sucking in a heavy breath, Asa then purposely stepped on his broken leg, causing her captor to cry out before smiling sweetly. “Now that you understand, I’m gonna explain it to you in simple terms, Kay? Don’t mess with my boyfriend again, or else you’re really gonna piss me off, and trust me. You don’t wanna do that.”
Almost immediately the kid nodded back, the pain of the pressure on his shattered bone creating black spots in his eyes.
Oh god, Dazai was right. He was the least scary thing in the room right now. That demon was nothing in comparison to the psychotic unpredictability of Asagao.
That reaction seemed to be enough for her though, finally allowing the pressure to disperse before putting the pistol by her side. “Great, glad we could come to an understanding.”
Closing her eyes, Asa then turned around with a lazy shrug of her shoulders, speaking mostly to herself. “But don’t think you’re completely off the hook yet. I mean, I still have no idea what to do with you but you gotta pay for some things.”
She then paused for a moment before touching her bottom lip with a small pout of disappointment. “That was my first kiss too..”
Suddenly, all the air seemed to get pushed out of her lungs as Asagao felt a rough hand grab onto her forearm, pulling her backward and into a very familiar patch of black fabric.
Widening her eyes, Dazai’s arms then pressed her face against his chest before swiping the gun by her side in order to immediately shoot the traitor without a second thought.
Killing him instantly.
And not only that, he kept on shooting, each bang erupting more final than the last as each bullet pierced the corpse of the boy over and over again.
It was only when the soft click resounded that his finger lifted from the trigger in order for Asa to finally pry herself away from his hold in order to look at the dead body silently.
Shifting her gaze upward, Asa then paused, noticing the absolute murder in her boyfriend’s eyes, the iris’ still trained to the body like he was in some sort of dark loop.
She had never seen that kind of look from him before in the year she had known him. Was this the true form of the infamous demon prodigy she had heard so much about?
There was something else there as well. An anger, a wrath she couldn’t quite reach. So dead and yet so emotional at the same time, drowning silently in a torment unknown to her.
This was the first time he’d killed in front of her and thought she wasn’t traumatized in any way, the girl was certainly surprised.
Huh, that guy must’ve said something he really hated.
Humming to herself in silent thought, Asa then crouched down beside the body before poking his chest with her finger absentmindedly. “Well, that solves that problem I guess.”
And now that the enemy was eradicated, Chuuya’s mind seemed to have more time to process whatever the hell just happened
Sure, seeing Dazai kill that guy was disturbing but it wasn’t anything new. Besides, that wasn’t what he focused on the most. That bastard had it coming anyways.
But what did bother him was the absolute personality shift he had just seen from the seemingly sweet and innocent Asagao.
No, there was something odd about all this, and it was more than just her ability or her animistic fighting style.
Determined to get his answer, Chuuya then stomped up to the occupied girl, the back of her auburn hair appearing across his vision. “You two better tell me what the hell is going on right now! You’re telling me all of that shit was an act?!”
Slowly standing up from the sound of his voice, Asagao only chuckled at his desperation, finding it absolutely hysterical. “Come on, Chu Chu. It was all in good fun.”
Fun? Yeah right, she called getting drugged, chained and beaten fun? Maybe for a psychopath or something but certainly not for him.
Just then, his throat began to groan at the sound of that god awful nickname again. “Don’t call me that.”
Putting her hands on her hips, Asa only hummed. “But you said I could.”
And yes, that was true but he only said that in a desperate attempt to raise her spirits. Why in the hell would he ever let her continue that, especially after Dazai came up with such an annoying plan and dragged him into it.
Grumbling all at once, the ginger frowned’ “Yeah well, I take it back.”
Although that’s when he heard her chuckle even more, the sound resounded through the space before finally turning around to face him. “Oh silly Chu Chu, did you forget already?”
Yet nothing could’ve prepared him for what he found when she finally locked eyes with him fully for the very first time, a sick twisted grin present of her lips as she finished mockingly.
Almost as if to say “ I won” in silent victory. “You promised me that you wouldn’t, remember?”
Feeling all the blood drain from his face, Chuuya took in the words slowly before shivering at the cold dead look in her eyes.
It was a look that was so sickeningly familiar, one he had only ever seen on only one other person in his entire life.
A person he hated more than anyone else in the entire world.
And now it was staring back at him, stunning him to complete silence. Hold on, wait.
That didn’t mean..
Then all at once, the realization crashed into him without warning. The reason why Dazai kept her around, the reason why he was always filled with an unpleasant deja vu every time he was around her..
Shaking his dead in denial, Chuuya shoved the thought away, wanting anything then to believe that it’s true. No, anything but that. “Oh fuck no..”
Taking a shaky step backwards Asa then turned her head in confusion only for the ginger to point a shaky finger from Dazai to her and finally connect the dots.
No, it couldn’t be. Please let it be a lie. “There’s two of you..you’re like him..”
And the cocky grin from Asa gave him all the confirmation he needed to know.
His worst nightmare had come true.
She wasn't a civilian, she was just as bad as Dazai.
------
Chapter 18:
To say that Chuuya was unprepared for this night was a massive understatement. In fact, it was the biggest understatement of his entire life.
Because staring him directly in the face was the sickest joke in the entire universe, one that the ginger didn’t think would have been possible until now.
If there was one thing that was absolutely certain to him, it was that he hated Dazai. More than anything else on the planet, more than his entire body even allowed, he despised every single thing that even had the hint of him blended in.
Everything associated made his skin crawl on command, like a fight or flight response he couldn’t control no matter how hard he tried.
It was all that bastard’s fault for making him that way though. Poor boy had been mentally tortured, been stuck on the wrong side of his sick games and had been dragged through the rigger so many times that he had been conditioned to feel his skin crawl at the mere mention of the bandaged demon.
But as much as Chuuya loathed him, there was a single solitary idea that made him feel the tiniest better. Sure, it wasn’t much but it still gave him some kind of delusional hope sometimes.
And that was the fact that there was only one of him.
Yes, the guy was messed up in the head but he was also unique, so much so that Chuuya found solace in the idea that there could be no else in the world that could match how evil and despicable he was.
He had found hints, pieces of the demon, sure, but never a full copy of the devil and Chuuya truly believed that such a thing couldn’t have been possible.
No one could match him in that kind of way, enough to bring the same kind of furious rage and disgust that always seemed to harbor inside of him whenever Dazai was mentioned.
Yet all of that wishful thinking had been shattered tonight, the ginger staring fearfully at the bouncing and giddy auburn haired devil before him, staring directly into his soul as a familiar case of deja vu slammed into him without permission.
Only then did he realize that he had been wrong this entire time.
Almost instantly, he felt his throat forcibly close up without permission in order for his hands to turn numb as blinding white rage to course into him, taking over each one of his senses like a plague.
No, it couldn’t be. Her eyes, he had seen them a million times before, staring him right in the face, laughing at him, making fun of him, taunting him over and over again. Just like that bastard , just like the man he hated more than anything else..
This girl, this whole time she had given him that same feeling, the one that he thought was impossible to copy, the one that he wholeheartedly believed couldn’t be duplicated in any captivity.
She was just like Dazai.
It was so hard to believe, so hard to comprehend from the seemingly innocent civilian he had met only twice and if someone told him that before tonight he would’ve laughed at them.
But all of this, every single thing that happened today was a set up, a fucking joke that he got dragged into without his consent. He had been played, manipulated without even knowing it by these two sick fucks.
And that last sentence of hers, the cocky ass tone of her voice had sealed the deal like a slap in the face.
She had pretended to be in distress just so he would agree to her stupid fucking nickname, even made him promise to keep it forever cause she knew he’d wanna take it back when he found out.
What a manipulative little brat, and from the creepy way she was eying him, it was obvious that she knew that as well, a victorious shit eating grin still plastered on her lips as it felt like she was mocking him wordlessly.
Okay, but seriously, what the fuck was up with her eyes? No sane person looked like that. They were so cold and empty, almost like they lacked a soul or any signs of life.
They kinda freaked him out, and that was saying a lot because Chuuya had seen millions of fucked up things in his life.
But the way she looked at him, it made his skin crawl in a new and unexplainable way.
God damn it, she was a psychopath just like that bandaged wearing freak and he didn’t even see it. “There’s two of you..you’re like him..”
Watching her take a step closer to him, Chuuya instinctively took one back, still unsure how to process the new information as Asa clapped her hands excitedly. “I know! Isn’t it great?”
Then he watched Asa simply turn around before lifting her hands straight up in order to press them against Dazai’s palms with a happy squeak. “Ah! That was so much fun, Samu! Thanks for setting all this up. I’m all energized now!’
The bandaged boy then shifted his fingers around in order to clasp them around her hands and pull her closer with a mimicking smile of his own. “Anything for you, my darling. It was certainly a treat for me also, getting to see that big scary hellhound side of yours. Now if only those fingers of yours would wrap around my throat next. Then I'd truly be able to die happy!”
Asa only laughed though, pulling one of her hands away in order to ruffle his messy brown locks with a shake of her head. “Oh Samu, you’re so silly. You know if I did that then it would be a very painful way to go.”
Dazai shook his head in response, using his free hand to reach around to the back of her waist in order to pull her even closer with a hum of satisfaction. “Nothing could be painful when I have a beautiful woman like you next to me, love.”
Asa didn’t react though, the girl clearly comfortable in his possessive hold before tilting her head slightly to the side. “Oh by the way, I’ve been meaning to ask. Chuuya said that you were cheating on me at karaoke. What did you two talk about?”
Waving the idea away, Dazai groaned at the memory. “Oh, it was nothing. I just asked her to commit double suicide with me.”
His words only caused her to nod though, answering casually. “Ah, and how did it go?”
Flopping his head dramatically on her shoulder, Dazai cried pathetically into the open space. “She turned me down. Alas! Another dead end, I had a good feeling about her too. Whatever will I do now, Asa-chan?”
Asagao’s expression then softened before placing a hand on his fluffy hair in order to tousle it with reassurance. “It’s okay, Samu. You just gotta stay positive and keep trying. You never know, the next person you ask might say yes.”
Pouting his lips, Osamu whined back. “But staying positive is hard..”
The auburn haired girl then smiled to herself before shifting her hand to the back of his head in order to cradle in against her shoulder with a gentle hum. “Then I’ll just have to do it for you.”
And sure, the bastard’s pickup lines were disgusting but his words seemed to unlock something within Chuuya, his numb and weightless fingers squeezing together until his knuckles turned white with a frantic shout. “Great? How could you say that it’s great? This is my worst fucking nightmare!”
Why in the hell was she so calm about this, couldn’t she read the room? She had knowingly screwed him over and she was still just smiling there with an idiot with those dead ass eyes.
In fact, it was strange. She sounded happy and her lips clearly reflected the same but her eyes still didn’t change, almost like they were unable to. But did that mean that her emotions were fake all this time, just like her acting tonight?
Hell, he really didn’t know anything about this girl, did he?
Was all this innocent and kind shit just an act also? Because from the way nothing reached her soulless eyes it currently seemed like it.
And listening to her and Dazai’s sick conversation, it just made his realization even more real. The way they just talked dying and suicide like it was nothing. The way she casually brushed off the mackerel’s cheating habits and didn’t even flinch.
What the hell was wrong with these two freaks?!
The girl then dropped her hands, the smile falling from her lips in order for it to turn to Chuuya with confusion before she spoke calmly. “Sorry Chuuya but I don’t understand your reaction. You said that I could call you Ch Chu once I get your permission, right? I did ask you and you said yes. What’s so wrong with that?”
Didn’t understand his reaction? Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. Now he knew that she was screwing with him. How could anyone not understand the shit she put him through tonight?
Even Dazai was always self aware of the torture he implemented so he knew she was the same. “Are you serious!? What’s wrong is that I thought you were in distress and you took advantage of the situation like a shitty ass person!”
He didn’t even know why he was explaining this, it was obvious. Of course he’d be pissed over Asa purposely manipulating him while he was in a vulnerable state to get what she wanted.
Yet he was taken back when Asagao’s brow twisted down in silent thought, almost like she hadn’t made that connection in her brain before turning back to Chuuya with a frown. “I did? But how else was I supposed to do it?”
Feeling himself pause, Chuuya’s eye began to twitch in response. This couldn’t be real, right? She was still messing with him, she had to be.
Why in the hell was she speaking so innocently and asking such stupid questions when she was the one that came up with the plan to trick him? It was common sense to not turn to manipulation like she had. Did she really not understand that?
Not believing a word out of her mouth, Chuuya scoffed. “Literally any other way! Is your brain broken or something? Normal people don’t turn to manipulation when they want something!”
He then watched her soak in his response before putting a finger to her lips in silent thought, almost like his words were genuinely mind breaking ones that she hadn't had before this moment.
And it looked so real, the way she contemplated the words with clear curiosity, so much so that even Chuuya questioned her act.
If she was still faking then she was pretty damn good at it because right now it actually looked like she was struggling to understand what he was saying.
After a moment, Asagao finally dropped her finger before nodding mostly to herself, almost like she was taking an invisible note. “Hmm I see. I guess I did it wrong then.”
Chuuya’s mouth then dropped open with disbelief. She was just figuring that out? No, this had to be an act, no one was that dumb. “You think?! That should be obvious. You seriously can’t be that dense, right?”
Looking up to meet him again, Asagao, then reached a hand to the back of her neck before giving an awkward uncomfortable chuckle under her breath. “Ahh well..”
Yet before she could finish, a pair of bandaged arms slung around her shoulder, causing her to stumble back in order for Dazai to rest his head on her shoulder casually. “Now Chibi, don’t be rude. You’re her birthday present after all. Try to be a little less stupid, will you?”
And though the insult was not lost on him, the first part of his sentence stuck out more than the second, another warning bell flashing inside his mind. “Excuse me? What the hell does that mean?”
Asagao then brightened up immediately, bouncing on her heels as she spoke. “Oh yeah! Samu set all this up so we could meet again. He knew how much I wanted to see you, so for my birthday..”
Nodding once, Dazai finished plainly.“...I lent my dog out for a playdate.”
Almost immediately, Chuuya grumbled at the stupid degrading name, his anger growing by the second.
Asa didn’t see anything wrong with his statement though, her dead eyes staring straight through Chuuya’s soul with sick delight. “Yeah! And it was the best present ever! I figured out your relationship with Osamu the first time we met and ever since then I’ve been just itching to see his dog in action! And boy, did you not disappoint!”
All at once, Asa’s fingers then slid up to his bandaged arms before gripping the gauzed wrist silently in order to give in a tiny squeeze. “Honestly, this whole day has been amazing. Getting to fight and screw over those traitors all in one night? Ah, you really know how to treat a girl, Osamu. I’ll tell you that.”
Dazai simply responded by pushing the arms around her even tighter, his head still frozen on her shoulder before his lips dropped down into a darker expression, nuzzling himself further into her neck to hide the sight.
Not everything had gone to plan after all.
There was a miscalculation on Dazai’s part, one that he still wanted to skin someone alive for at this very moment. But the last thing he desired was to ruin her night with his lethal and twisted thoughts. Especially when she looked so happy right now.
So instead, Dazai kept them to himself, his cold gaze shifting over to the mutilated body just a couple feet away from them as he counted the bullet holes in the traitor's skin. Not enough. He deserved a million more.
Yet the pair were finally brought back from their two different realities when Chuuya lifted up a hand in their direction, his voice loud and angry for what they were implying. “Hold on a damn minute, I am not some kind of thing you can just lend out whenever the fuck you feel like it!”
Dazai was thankful for his outburst though, giving him something else to focus on besides the deadly ideas in the back of his mind. Making fun of the slug always seemed to bring him back to earth, given that it was his favorite pastime.
And right now was no expectation, the boy purposely saying the words that would infuriate him the most. “Oh but you are, I just don’t understand why anyone would want you. But my darling was adamant on seeing your short, stupid, ugly face again so who was I to argue?”
Almost immediately, the dog did as intended, Chuuya’s face turning red with fury, as he took a challenging step closer to the couple with intent. Oh yeah, he was definitely snapping. Took a lot longer this time, perhaps that’s because he still didn’t know what to make of Asa yet. Stupid slug.
Chuuya on the other head was livid, his entire body shaking with rage as that same disgusting feeling of hatred coursed through him like a curse. Just what the fuck was this guys problem, calling him ugly and short?! He’d make him eat those words, just you wait!
Yet that’s when Asagao simply stepped away from Dazai, her brow turning down in a disapproving frown for a way things were playing out. “Aww come on, Samu. That’s not very nice..”
It sounded like she was scolding him and for a second Chuuya thought he saw her humanity. He had painted her as a copy of Dazai but perhaps that wasn’t the case. Maybe she had some good in her after all.
Yet that’s when Asa simply pointed to the ginger before finishing plainly. “It’s not Chu Chu’s fault that he’s short.”
And just like that, any good natured thing he had thought for her flew out the window.
Short, she called him short. That’s it, that’s fucking it.
God damn it, she was making fun of him also, wasn’t she? Calling him short, indirectly not pointing out the stupid or ugly comment on purpose so that it was implied as truth, what a shady horrible girl picking out his insecurities like that.
Both of them were insufferable, the two feeding off one another’s energies and throwing it back in his face. Chuuya was sick of it. He didn’t want to hear it anymore. One Dazai was bad enough, but two? No, that’s where he drew the line.
Shaking his head in order to quell his anger, Chuuya scoffed. “Unbelievable..”
Then the boy turned around before leaving the scene as fast as possible. He may be stuck with that bastard but that didn’t mean he had to stick around just to be tortured by another sick twisted demon.
Yet just before he reached his escape, he felt a hand tug on his sleeve, stopping him immediately. “Hey, wait a second..”
Grumbling immediately, Chuuya shook off the touch like poison, sharply turning around to find that Asagao had followed him to the exit. Oh you’ve got to be kidding me, hadn’t she done enough? Why couldn’t he get rid of her?
Not saying anything for the fear of exploding, the boy then watched as her soulless stare cut through heart with a cold chill in order for her to smile in his direction. “I was just wondering if you’d wanna be friends with me?”
Excuse me?
No, he must’ve heard that wrong because there was so way this girl had just asked that. The very same girl that had manipulated him and made him look like an idiot was now asking to be his friend? Yeah right, what a joke.
Feeling his eyes twitch once more, Chuuya gave an empty laugh. “Are you kidding me?”
Asa only frowned though, that same confused and perplexing look on her face in order to tilt her head slightly. “No..I don’t think so..?”
Her response only caused the ginger to laugh even harder though, his fingers running through his hair with an air of disbelief for what he was hearing. “You’re seriously asking me that after all of this...”
It was ridiculous, what she was asking from him was outrageous. Even Dazai never went this far in his mocking. Why couldn’t she see that? Or was she still playing some kind of trick on him even now? She wanted to watch him squirm, didn’t she?
He then watched her fingers move towards the ends of her bloodied skirt with a nervous laugh to cover his bitter one. “Listen, Chuuya, I..uhh how do I put this.. I’m not great with things like this so you’re gonna have to be a bit more clear with what you’re saying.”
The idea caused that fragile string of control to finally snap in the back of his head as the familiar hot blinding white covered his vision before turning back to the girl with a hiss. “You want me to be clear? Fine.”
Feeling the weight of his steps, Chuuya then stomped straight up to the haunting soulless eyes that had been hunting him all night before shouting back with so much unruly hate that it made his lips spit out the fiery words all at once.
Every single feeling over the last year, every grievance towards people like Dazai shot out like a gunshot, the target misdirecting towards the girl the moment she showed the same disgusting traits he always hated.
He was sick of being tortured, of being a dog, of being a puppet for someone else’s pleasure. The two of them had treated him like an idiot and he was sick of it, wanting nothing more than to scream his rejection for everything they stood for.
And scream he did, his chest heaving with a bomb of absolute fury. “Why would I ever want to be friends with a freak like you?”
And he thought for sure that she would’ve just fired back like nothing, like she had done for this entire night, like Dazai usually did when he insulted him. Chuuya expected an equally degrading comment or response, something that would prove his words like nothing.
But what he didn’t expect was for the seemingly confident and unhinged girl to physically flitch at his words, taking a step back as the ever permanent smile she always wore slipped from her lips. “O-Oh..”
Wait, what kind of response was that? Why wasn’t she yelling at him back?
But for Asa, it was physically impossible to do so, her words caught inside her throat as she felt herself choke on them all at once. Suddenly it was hard to see, to hear, to feel anything but the words Chuuya had given her.
Freak.
Suddenly, she was back as a child, hearing those very same insults and whispering all around her, telling her to disappear, telling her that she didn’t belong in their world. Of course, how could she have forgotten? That’s what everyone said, of course Chuuya was the same.
Grimacing at the thought, Asa then looked up to the ginger haired boy only to find the previous adrenaline instantly sucked out of her body, leaving the harsh reality of her world and her eyes.
This thing that the hellhound organization made her into, it forced her to see the ugliest parts of a human soul without her consent, forcing her to stare into the darkest and deepest pits of hell like some kind of cruel torture.
Yes, she had used her full vision up until now without it bothering her, but that was because when she was fighting her brain could replace those images with something to her advantage. She used her defect to aid in figuring out her enemies moves, distracting herself from the true purpose of her monstrous ability.
But it never did last, and the true curse always seemed to rear its ugly head the moment everything stilled, when the calm took over the chaos.
In those moments, the world gave her nothing else to focus on but the physical actions and underlying emotions that laid beneath the surface. The ones she had tried hard to ignore but simply couldn’t anymore.
And right now without her glasses, she was subjected to it all.
Her mind spiraled, focusing on every tiny thing that Chuuya had shown her. The angle of his frown, the cold and distant look in his haunting blue eyes, the veins popping from his skin, the closed off stance of his body, they flashed through her in an instant, like a camera flashing a million different photos in her face at the same time.
It was overstimulating, overwhelming, and over amplified, leaving Asagao breathless and absolutely unprepared for the onslaught of damning information.
She could see everything. His disappointment, his disgust, his hatred. Hatred for Dazai, hatred for her.
Oh god, his hatred. It was so much, it was obvious. He hated her. Well of course he did, She was a freak, he called her a freak. She was a freak, obviously. Why else would people be saying that if it wasn’t the truth?
And perhaps his rage wasn’t all directed towards her, somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that. Dazai played a part in it as well but none of that mattered when she couldn’t tell the difference anymore.
She couldn’t see where the lines were divided and where the misdirection started or ended.
No, all she could see was the invisible bullet of his own uncontrollable rage.
Feeling her breath start to cave in on itself, Asa gasped for air, struggling for the words. Ah, she was ruining it, she needed to say something, anything to get that ugly look from his face. She couldn’t take that look. It was tearing her apart by the second.
Feeling her voice crack of her words, Asa then nodded her head absentmindedly as her hands fiddled around her body with no purpose. “Y-Yeah, no. That’s makes sense. Of course that’s what you’d say. That’s the most logical answer. Sorry, I just..got carried away..I guess..yeah..umm..”
The piercing spectators of his eyes only brought her words to the standstill though, her senses overloaded with only his rejection and disgust, so much so that it started to consume her all at once, the words of her peers still slamming in the back of her head as a reminder of what she was.
Shaking her head to rid herself of the suffocating sight, she tried to look away, her hands frantically searching her pockets for something to quell the hurt. “A-Ah, sorry..I just...my glasses..I’ll put them back on…I know they’re here..sorry..let me just..”
Yet the fabric on the inside of her pocket only bought her an empty reality. Shit shit shit, where were they? She didn’t want to see anymore. She didn’t want those horrible blue judgmental iris’ to haunt her anymore.
Let her live in ignorance, let her never truly see just how much of a goddamn monster she really was.
Because the more she looked, the more that positive view of the world started to become tainted, only seeing the absolute worst that life had to offer. How could she find the good when all she perceived right now was only bad? Chuuya’s face only showed the bad.
And she couldn’t look away, she couldn't get it out of her head. Oh god, please stop! It hurts. I don’t want to see anymore. Someone please..
Chuuya watched in stunned silence though, the faltering and unraveling girl causing him to stare with concern before reaching a hand out with mutter. “Come on..stop playing around. You aren’t gonna fool me this time. Using the same old tricks again..”
And truly, the boy wanted to believe it was a joke, simply because that’s what he had seen through the entire night. She played the victim and pretended to cry at least three times tonight so why would this be any different?
Hell, the girl was probably doing this on purpose just to make him cave about her stupid friend question. But this time he was stronger than that. He wouldn’t fall for it again.
His words only made her act even more erratic though, a choked laugh stuck inside her throat as she continued to search for something in her pockets. “S-Sorry...yeah of course you'd be bothered by this..I’ll fix it..I promise..I just have to..cover the ugly…just let me..”
Feeling a warning bell ring in the back of his mind, Chuuya then dropped his smug ass attitude before taking a step forward with cautious confusion. This was an act, right? Just like the ones before. She was faking it, right?
But if that was the case then why did it look like the girl was on the edge of a panic attack right now? Would she really take things that far for something so stupid.
Reaching his hand out once more, Chuuya spoke. “Hey..”
Yet before he could reach her, a pair of hands appeared out from behind Asagao in order to press his palms towards her eyes, covering the sight before forcing her to fall backwards into his chest with a soft mutter. “Now now Asa-chan. That’s enough. Give those pretty eyes of yours a rest.”
And just like that, the noise inside her head and the vivid images fizzled away into nothing. Her prayers had been answered, she didn’t have to see anymore.
Osamu had just saved her from an unspeakable destruction.
Relaxing against his body in an instant, she let out a shaky breath. “O-Osam..”
Dazai only cut her off though, pushing her head farther back in order to whisper in her ear gently. “Shh, I know. It’s okay, love.”
Feeling her lips close into a tiny whimper, Asagao forced herself to stay silent. It didn’t matter if he didn’t go into detail, she knew exactly what Osamu was trying to say with just those small seemingly insignificant words.
He knew. He understood what had just taken place. Maybe but not fully, in fact she doubted he completely grasped just how bad her eyes had dragged her away considering she only told him a vague explanation a year ago.
But to some extent he figured out the self destruction that her conditioned mind had conjured up, he had realized the shackles that she was confined to and gave her the one thing she couldn’t give to herself.
Then she felt a familiar cool metal object slide into her palm before gasping in recognition. Her glasses, he found them for her. Thank god. Now she could be normal again.
Just then, her hidden face flashed with realization for her previous question.
Perhaps he knew because they shared similar circumstances. If Osamu’s bandages were stripped unwillingly then he would’ve been the same. She had seen it firsthand after all, the very first time she tried to take away his security unknowingly.
The physical crutches they relied on, both of them knew it too well, enough to wordlessly recognize the utter desolation that waited when they strayed from their comfort.
And Asagao was thankful for it, for not having to voice such weak thoughts out loud. Osamu just understood, he always did, just like she always tried to do for him, he mirrored it tonight.
Chuuya on the other hand was at a loss for words, his hand reeling back in confusion. “That was a joke, right? Either way, it still isn't’ gonna work. I’m still not going to agree to be friends with her.”
Because although he was slightly shaken up from the sight, Chuuya still couldn’t believe that her display was real. How could he? I mean, this was the same girl that just fooled an entire section of the port mafia just so that they could discredit her as weak, that tricked the ginger into staying around tonight by making him feel guilty about her birthday.
Hell, this was the same girl that didn’t bat an eye when that traitorous bastard forcibly kissed her before going on a bloody rampage in order to torture the guy’s men one by one.
So it didn’t make sense that a simple rejection of his friendship was enough to crumble the seemingly unbreakable auburn haired devil. That meant she had to be faking it again. Nothing else was logical except that.
I mean, come on. She was the one that had screwed him over in the first place, her and that bandaged prick Dazai. He had a right to be pissed about it. It wasn’t the end of the world.
She was a copy of Dazai after all, she should’ve been able to handle a couple of harsh words after single handedly disposing of an army, right?
Yet the ginger haired boy paused when his Dazai’s eyes darkened, something lethal in the corners of his vision as he glared back. “That’s fine, she doesn’t need you anyway.”
And call him crazy but Chuuya felt a chill course through his spine at that. But he couldn’t be serious right? There was no way that Dazai Osamu, the least caring man in the universe, was being protective of this girl. It went against everything he ever knew about the boy.
But the way his partner was staring at him right now was nothing short of murderous, just like a hundreds of times he saw it reflected in their enemies eyes. Could it be, did Dazai actually care about her, more than just an act?
Although that's when Asagao reached her hand up before tapping the hands that were covering her eyes in order for Dazai to reluctantly let go only for her to quickly slap her glasses back on her face with a sigh. “Osamu, don’t blame him. It was my fault. I got carried away.”
She then took a long silent breath before turning back to Chuuya with a sad smile. “Sorry about all of this. I promise I won’t bother you ever again.”
Then the girl simply bowed her head with respect before walking away from the two boys, stepping over the unconscious corpses as she walked in order to stay true to her promise.
And fuck, he hated it but Chuuya felt really shitty for some damn reason.
Which was ridiculous because he had no reason to. But the sad pathetic way she spoke to him caught him off guard, more than he would ever admit.
Just what was that crazy girl doing to him?! Why was he feeling bad all of a sudden? He was just standing up for himself and calling her out on her lies. What was so wrong about that?
But if that was the case, why did he now want to run back up to her and apologize?
Damn it, this night was messing with him way too much.
Turning around to watch her go, he then glanced to the side only to find that Dazai was doing the same thing, his unbandaged eye narrowed with silent thought as Chuuya spoke his thoughts. “I know why you’re with her now.”
Although the executive didn’t move his gaze, simply staring forward with a hum. “Do tell.”
Balling his hands to his sides, Chuuya answered roughly. “You’re trying to recruit her to the port mafia, just like you did with me when we met.”
At first the boy didn’t know what kind of use Asagao could’ve provided to the selfish and self serving executive but after seeing her fight it could only be one thing. He wanted her power, he wanted her ability and Dazai was using this sham of a relationship to reel her into the mafia.
Just like what he did to Chuuya all those years ago, he was manipulating her into seeing no other option but the port mafia so she’ll have no choice but to join.
And yeah it was fucked up but the ginger couldn’t deny that Asagao would fit well in the place like that. In fact, he was sure she’d thrive in that kind of darkness if given the chance. Picking her to be his subordinate, it wasn’t a terrible move logically speaking.
That didn’t make it right but Chuuya could understand it at least.
His words seemed to stir something in Dazai though, the boy’s lips twitching with amusement and yet also disdain. “If she was anyone else then you’d be right. But the last place I will allow her to be is in the port mafia.”
Widening his eyes in shock, the ginger frowned. What the hell did that mean? If she was anyone else? If he knew her potential then why hadn’t he jumped at the chance yet? What was holding him back from sinking his claws into her and never letting go?
There was something he was missing here. “Why, because you don’t want her there?”
Dazai gave a low bitter laugh at that, knowing damn well that wasn’t the truth. In fact, if she hadn’t been given the safety net of being his best friend’s sister then Asagao would’ve been dragged into the mafia a year ago. He wasn’t that good of a man yet, after all.
That's right, if she hadn't been connected to Odasaku then Dazai knew he would’ve only seen her ability first, her use to him just like Chuuya had accused him of. But lucky for Asagao, it wasn’t that simple.
Testing the words on his tongue, Dazai decided to utter the truth, the words a binding contract of his promise to his only friend. “It’s not about what I want.”
Chuuya could hardly understand though, the unfinished puzzle of information looking more confusing by the minute.
Dazai had just implied that he did want Asagao by him in the mafia, but something was holding him back, but what could it be? Who had that kind of power to subdue the devil himself from such a tempting offering of power?
So much so, the boy couldn’t help to push further. “What the hell does that mean? That doesn’t sound like you at all. You've never been one to listen to someone else’s wants. You’re a selfish bastard who only thinks for himself.”
Shoving his hands into his pants pockets, Dazai then took in his words silently, the meaning tossing around in his defective little head before finally closing his eyes with reality.
If he truly was a changed man then he would’ve let Asagao go by now. He would’ve run away from her or hurt her so badly that she would never look his way again. But unfortunately for both of them that wasn’t the case.
He couldn’t live without her anymore, not if he wanted to keep that desolate feeling of grief away. He had indulged himself too heavily to ever give her the mercy of release. He needed her like he needed to breathe. He needed her security and her safety to get him through the day, he needed her like a vice.
And perhaps that in itself proved Chuuya’s words wrong.
Because yes he was listening to Odasaku, but that didn’t fully protect Oda’s sister from his greed. Nothing ever could. Someday he would fly too close to the sun and get burned.
It was only a matter of time.
Pushing his feet forward to walk past Chuuya, Dazai’s eyes then lingered back to the spot where Asagao had disappeared before moving down towards the mutilated body of the traitor that he had shot, a dark gleam flashing through his veins.
Those hideous lips, those disgusting hands, they were on her .
They kissed her.
Then the mafia executive leaned down, picking up a discarded gun off the floor before turning the object in his fingers with silent conjecture as his thoughts fell back into that familiar pit of hell, recalling two words that rang against his skull over and over again during their entire conversation.
Not enough.
Chuuya then watched wordlessly as the demon turned around immediately, shooting all of the stolen rounds into the corpse of the traitor, the dead body twitching with each lethal bullet.
And Dazai didn’t stop until the gun was empty, the click of the chamber sounding through the space in order for the mafioso to glare before throwing the discarded object away.
Feeling the blood begin to coat his solid black shoes, tainting him further, Dazai then finally turned back to Chuuya, the dark shadows of the warehouse overtaking the demon with silent ominous warning.
“Who says I’m not still selfish?”
-----
(Guys, I think Dazai is little pissed about that kiss. Just a hunch though.)
(Next Chapter is gonna be a good one, and it has to do with that kiss. Hehe)
Chapter 16: The Misfortune of Being Dazai's Girlfriend"
Summary: Chuuya has experienced the absolute displeasure of knowing who Dazai is firsthand. He is cruel, and selfish in everything he does with no capacity to care. So the boy is certainly surprised when he meets the demon's sweet and seemingly opposite girlfriend. But is it all a trick, or has the demon finally grown a heart?
Warnings: pm!sixteen year old dazai, pm!sixteen year old chuuya, suicide mentions, slight violence, manipulation on both sides, odasaku death mentions, dazai being a simp and a clingy baby boy, poor chuuya is lost, confused and tormented from all angles for most of this.
(This is chapter fifteen and sixteen of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. I'll link the master list below so you can get the full story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)
Master List Here
A03 Here
Work Count: 9k total
Chapter 15:
Chuuya was about to lose his mind.
It was a statement the ginger haired boy felt so clearly, his internal thoughts running rampant with a tap of his foot and the loud noisy jumble in the back of his head, stronger by the second.
The sanity that he had desperately clinging to so desperately slipped away the more he looked at the ticking clock in front of him, mocking his very breath. And with that loss a new stronger emotion took its place.
Fury, he was absolutely and positively furious.
Although to be completely fair, this emotion wasn’t new at all. In fact, Chuuya realized that perhaps his past sentence wasn’t completely accurate either, considering he had felt like he had lost his mind years ago.
He was never this angry before the port mafia. Sure, he had a temper that was established very early on during his time with the sheep but never before had Chuuya felt this sort of raging hatred before. It coursed through his veins by the second, wanting nothing but to scream it into the air.
And he knew exactly where these emotions started, what sparked them in the first place.
Just thinking his name brought a sense of enraged fury.
Dazai Osamu.
The boy he hated more than anyone else in the entire world, a slimy and manipulative brat that could get under his skin and make him crack over and over again. No, that shitty Dazai never failed to make him stir up the absolute worst parts of him for that fuckers own entertainment.
And ever since Mori had made them partners, he had never known a day of peace.
Today as well, it was the same as all the others, the boy crossing his arms with a furious shout as he realized the truth of the situation. Even after he called the idiot and threatened him it seemed that his words did nothing to change the outcome he had been trying to avoid.
That sorry sack of shit, he ditched again.
Yeah, you read that right. The mission that Chuuya had specifically told that bastard not to flake on and guess what he did? Absolutely fucking flaked. Their assignment wasn’t even that serious either.
They had been ordered to attend a meeting with a smaller group that was tied to the port mafia and was stepping out of the line from their usual restrictions. It was going to be an easy job, just a quick threat and yet the bandaged boy couldn’t have the audacity to show his face.
Which led to where Chuuya was now, his feet kicking a nearby trash can as his gravity ability crushed the metal pieces into nothing in order to hear his phone immediately go to voicemail for the hundredth time.
That bandaged wearing waste of space, he was going to destroy him the next time he saw this pathetic stupid little face. Making him look like an idiot and showing up alone. No, this time he was going to pay for real.
No one messed with Nakahara Chuuya and got away with it.
Grumbling to himself, the ginger haired mafioso then stomped away from their meeting spot, knowing it would do no good. It was obvious that Dazai wasn’t going to turn up, he was four hours late as it was. No, he needed to take matters into his own hands.
So instead, the boy slipped away from the shadowy edge of the building back to the mundane bustling of the city just a couple feet away, his body blending in with the hoards of naive and frivolous civilians around him.
There was something about the sight that made his shoulders tense though, never liking the oblivious and carefree looks on their faces. He never fit in with them, not even during his time with the sheep, and though he could try to blend in it was obvious that Chuuya didn’t mix into their world at all.
He was a mafioso after all, a brutal gravity manipulator that only saw death and destruction while the people around him never had the misfortune of witnessing such a sight. They were pure and clean, separate from the dark cruel world of the underground.
And that’s how it needed to stay, the two sides separate, always parallel but never touching. It was safer that way, the distance kept them safe, secluded in their little bubble of self made security. He didn’t belong with the mundane and they didn’t belong with him, ever.
Sighing heavily, the sixteen year old boy then moved past a small family in front of him only to feel his feet glue to the very spot he was standing in order for his mouth to hang open with furious shock.
No, it couldn’t be. There was no fucking way.
Because sitting in a booth in a small restaurant across the street from their meeting spot was the very bane of his existence, the boy’s lips curved upwards in a mocking smirk from the large bay window as Chuuya felt his blood boil immediately.
Dazai was here? And not only that, he was sitting down at some no named establishment having the time of his life while the ginger waited four hours for absolutely no reason at all?!
And the way he was seated, it was like the kid wanted Chuuya to find him, his body clearly visible from the extremely large clear glass window and from the streets as he chatted away with another stranger that was just out of view.
That bastard, he wasn’t that stupid, he must've done this on purpose. That was the only solution. He knew that Chuuya would pass by here, that he would’ve gotten sick of waiting for him and left to find him like this. He had to, or else Dazai would’ve done a better job of hiding.
Just the idea made him seethe in uncontrollable rage.
Oh no, he was not going to get away with this. He couldn’t just screw him over like this and rub it in his face. No, he was going to drag that sorry kid back to the meeting spot and beat him to hell for ever thinking he could fuck with him like that.
So much so, Chuuya felt his feet move on their own, his mind focused on nothing but his own fury as he stormed across the street and into the small cafe before grabbing hold of Dazai’s wrist in order to pull him back outside.
The bandaged menace didn’t object surprisingly, allowing the very angry ginger to pull him into the nearby alley before he felt his body get slammed against the wall. “You bastard, what the hell do you think you’re doing?! I told you that if you ditched our mission again you’d regret screwing with me.”
Dazai wasn’t bothered though, his lips turning in fake thought before shrugging his shoulders casually. “Oh, that was today? I didn’t even realize it. Sorry Chibi, I guess you’re just too insignificant in my mind to remember anything you say.”
His response made Chuuya see red, sensing the bullshit immediately. Sure, maybe to an ignorant stranger his words would’ve made sense but the ginger had the unfortunate displeasure of knowing this bastard for over a year now.
And nothing he just said made any sense. “Don’t fuck with me, you know damn well it was today. Why else would you be sitting directly across the street mocking me? I know you’re game, Dazai. You picked that spot cause you knew I’d see you.”
Dazai seemed to blink back in response at that, his lips curving up into something far more devious before dropping his previous innocent act. “Huh, maybe my stupid little mutt isn’t as stupid after all..”
And though he was right about his game, Chuuya felt no satisfaction of winning, the boy tightening his hold on Dazai in order to throw his fist back with a screaming shout.
There it was, that stupid dog talk again, he was goddamn sick of it. “I told you not to..!!”
Yet that’s when the bandaged boy simply raised his hands up to his chest, Dazai’s voice just as condescending as usual. “Chuuya please, not so violent in front of our guest.”
Then all at once, Chuuya felt his hand pause, still reeling backwards in order for him to blink in confusion. What the hell was this guy talking about? It had to be another joke right? Another reason to get him to wiggle out of his wraith.
Yet even so, the boy questioned. “Guest?”
Dazai only nodded though, using his defensive hand to point behind his seething partner as Chuuya followed his direction in order to turn around in a huff.
And there she was, just like Dazai had said. A strange auburn haired female staring back at him, the balls of her feet rocking back and forth in some sort of giddy excitement the moment he acknowledged her.
Who the hell was this, another threat? And why hadn’t he sensed her until now? Could it be that he was too wrapped up in his own furious rage that he had gotten this sloppy?
But once his eyes adjusted, he couldn’t find any type of threat. In fact, she looked as innocent and naive as they came, the girl wearing a teal turquoise colored princess dress that fluffed out by her knees with a matching colored bow that tied her hair neatly back.
That along with a pair of large glasses covering the entirety of her eyes.
In fact, it was so off putting that the bright colors of her outfit contrasted the dark and gloomy alley walls when she moved, creating a dissonance between the grimy streets and soft gentle aura she displayed.
And something about her seemed familiar, like an odd case of deja vu.
Yet before he could question anything about her, the strange girl only gasped before racing up to him in order to take his gloved hand and shake it erratically “Hiii, I’m so excited to see you again! Oh wow, it’s like a dream come true, really.”
Her moves were hasty, causing Chuuya’s arm to immediately go numb and pull back with guarded resolve. She didn’t seem dangerous but that didn’t mean anything. He knew better than to take her fangirl attitude at face value.
Hold on, she said that they had met before. That was strange, the boy unable to place her face to his memory, although her attitude did seem vaguely familiar from somewhere. But where?
Taking a step back in discomfort, Chuuya raised a skeptical eye. “Uhh do I know you?”
The girl seemed confused for a quick second before she immediately brightened back up in order to slap a hand over her face. “Oh, right! Last time we met was like a year ago so I’m sure you don’t remember me. Silly me, getting ahead of myself. I do that a lot. Oops..”
She then began to ramble, her words far too jumbled for the poor boy to understand before the girl seemed to catch herself in a soft girlish giggle. “Where was I? Oh yeah, anyways it was great! You hit me in the face and then apologized and then stopped my nose from bleeding all over the place. I think about it all the time, how nice you were back then..”
Chuuya felt the words sink in ever so slowly, the meaning of them bringing a strange sort of deja vu. Hitting a girl in the face..stopping her nose bleed..apologizing..now why did that sound familiar?
Hold on.
Just then, his eyes began to widen in realization. Wait, he did remember that. This was the strange weird girl that he had met back in his apartment building, wasn’t it? No wonder why her odd behavior seemed familiar. She was just as bizarre as before.
Seemed like nothing had changed at all from a year ago.
Pointing a finger in accusation, Chuuya shouted back in disbelief. “You..”
The girl, what was her name again?
Oh yeah, Asagao.
Asagao only clapped her hands though, unable to hold in her pure joy in her sparkling little eyes as she skipped up to him happily. “Yes, it’s me! Ah, you do remember me! That makes me so happy, Chu Chu!”
Almost immediately, he felt his throat groan in memory. That’s right, she called him that stupid nickname before he left and wasn’t able to correct her. “It’s Chuuya, say it right, and why are you even here?”
That was the question, wasn’t it? Why was this strange girl in front of him? It’s like she had materialized from thin air without warning, both last year and right now. She said she wasn’t port mafia but was that really true? He wasn’t sure.
Asa’s eyes only lit up with recognition though, smiling softly in reply. “Oh, that’s easy. I’m on a date with my boyfriend.”
At that, Chuuya felt himself pause. “Boyfriend..who..?”
The girl only laughed though, the sound light and airy as she pointed to the spot behind him with obvious conviction. “Silly goose, he’s right behind you.”
What the hell was she saying? There wasn’t anyone behind him except for..
Whipping his head around in question, Chuuya’s wild eyes wander around the alley only to find Dazai staring back at him wordlessly. But even so, the boy couldn’t process that reality, his head looking past the boy with confusion.
There had to be someone else, anyone else she was referring to.
But sadly, the rest of the alleyway was empty, leaving his heart to drop with dread and lingering concern. No, it couldn’t be. She was messing with him. There was no way.
Feeling his brain malfunction, Chuuya then turned back to the waiting girl before shaking his head to will away the thought. “Nice try, there’s no one there expect..”
He couldn’t even finish the sentence, the reality too horrifying and sickening for him to comprehend. This sweet innocent civilian, there was no way she was wrapped up with a sick fuck like Dazai.
Feeling his head turn from the smiling girl and back Dazai about a dozen times, poor Chuuya desperately looked for another solution, anything then what was in front of him right now.
But with nothing to ground himself, Chuuya couldn’t help but stutter. “H-Hold on, wait a damn second, you said you were with some guy named Osu.”
Although that’s when he watched Asagao simply step past him in order to wrap her hands around the bandaged mafioso’s forearm before leaning into the man he hated more than anything and nodding casually. “Yeah, Dazai Osamu.”
Then all at once, Chuuya felt his entire world explode.
Red hot heat suddenly burst into the boy’s entire face, his head reeling and spinning with horror as the poor mafioso jumped back in a ragging shout. “W-WHAT?! There’s no fucking way, you’re kidding right? You’re not seriously his...”
Yet before he could finish the sentence, Dazai’s slimy little bandaged arms shifted around in order to wrap them around Asa’s mid section and push her against his cheek with a mocking pout. “What’s wrong, Chuuya? Jealous I got a hold of this lovely little lady and made her my girlfriend before you could?”
Dazai’s words didn’t help his flustered expression though, Chuuya’s mind running at a mile a minute as he tried to process the new information. “J-Jealous?! Why would I be? I just..I just don’t understand. What’s wrong with you?”
Pointing a finger towards the girl in question, Asa only waved his concern away, laughing at the seriousness of it. “Ah, that’s a loaded question, Chu Chu. We would need all day for that.”
She was treating all this as a joke, but Chuuya didn’t find any of it funny. What the hell was she thinking, letting someone as evil and awful as Dazai control her like this? This was worse than he thought. He had to knock some sense into her.
Shaking his head, his finger then shifted towards Dazai. “No, I mean it. Out of everyone in the world, why would you ever pick..god I can’t even say it..I think I’m gonna be sick..”
He only watched her bat her eyes in pure innocence though, not understanding his reaction in the slightest. “Why wouldn’t I? Samu is great. He’s sweet and kind and wonderful. He’s the best boyfriend I could ever ask for!”
Sweet, kind, wonderful? No, there was no way in hell Dazai and those words fit together in the same sentence. This was the same man that had terrorized him every single day since they forcibly became partners. This girl must’ve had a screw loose in her brain in order to think such a ridiculous statement.
Dazai only hummed though, obviously enjoying the distraught and disgusted look on his face in order to tighten his hold about his girlfriend’s waist and pull her even closer to him. “Aww, you flatter me, love. You’re not half bad either. In fact, I think those sweet little lips of yours are pretty great also.”
It didn’t matter if the two weren’t involved like that, Chuuya didn’t know the difference, the boy only thinking the absolute worst from his statement as his brain began to continue to malfunction. “B-But that’s not..he’s not…”
Luckily for him though, Asa cut off his spiral, her body detaching from Dazai’s in order to skip up to him happily. “Oh, I know! Since you’re not busy anymore why don’t you hang out with us, Chu Chu? I would love to chat and get to know you some more. That is, if you wanted to?”
That sounded like the worst idea in the entire world, the boy finally answering in a complete and coherent thought because of how ridiculous it was. “Why would I ever want to hang out with that sack of shit?”
Asagao only lifted her hands up in response though, that same idiotic grin still on her face. “Because we are celebrating my birthday, and I would love it if we could become friends. Then that would make the day even more wonderful!”
At that, Chuuya couldn’t help but pause. “Your birthday?”
Giving another girl-ish cute giggle under her breath, Asa then nodded her head happily before spinning around in a little circle, her skirt swishing with each word. “Yeah! Well, sort of. It’s a long story. I’m making up for lost time. Oh! But Samu got me this pretty fluffy princess dress for the occasion. Doesn't it look cute?”
And because of her erratic movements, his eyes had no choice but to move towards the brightly colored fabric before another wave of embarrassment moved to his cheeks. What was he even supposed to say to that? Compliments weren't his thing.
But even still he tried, noticing the hopeful look she was giving him. “Y-Yeah..I guess..”
His flustered blush was not lost on Dazai though, the bandaged boy narrowing his eyes before reaching forward in order to pull his girl back into his arms with a huff. “Oh look, the doggie is blushing. Careful Asa-chan, don’t stand so close. Chuuya here is a pervert.”
Feeling his voice raise immediately, the ginger haired boy willed the embarrassment away in order to cover it with an emotion he knew far too well. Anger. “W-What, I am not! She asked me! What else was I supposed to say?!”
Dazai then shrugged his shoulders in response, his head purposely plopping on top of Asa’s left shoulder before humming absentmindedly in order to play with a loose strand of her auburn hair. “I don’t knowww, seems like an excuse to me. Sounds like something a pervert would say to deny it.”
The executive then pushed Asa backwards by his arms, the bandaged skin wrapping tightly around her waist like Chuuya was some sort of stranger danger he needed to protect her from.
Which was absolutely ridiculous considering the poor ginger haired boy didn’t do anything to warrant such a response. This idiot, just what was he accusing him of?! He was getting more and more pissed off by the second.
Pushing his hands into a ball, Chuuya felt his throat strain with fury in order to shout back roughly. “Shut up, I already told you it’s not like that! Besides, you’re one to talk. You’re the one that’s always saying disgusting shit offhandedly like a dumb ass.”
I mean seriously, why was shitty Dazai even suggesting such a thing when he constantly told Chuuya about how he was playing with women. Pinning them down, having his hands full, entertaining his time, those were just some of the sick comments he had made.
Hold on, when he was saying all that stuff, he wasn’t talking about Asagao, right? He hoped not, she was too sweet and naive to be in that kind of situation, and for his sanity the ginger brushed the idea off.
Dazai only pouted his lips though, a look of disbelief in his uncovered eye. “Chuuya! Are you saying that you don’t think my girlfriend is cute?”
Although that’s when he watched Asa gasp as well, her voice turned shaky and uncertain as she turned back to Chuuya with a newly depressed tone. “W-What? You don’t think I look cute…?”
And just like that, all the insults and saved up responses he had in his mind disappeared completely, the brutal mafioso completely at a loss for the seemingly upset civilian before him. Damn it, why did she have to look so sad?
Not knowing how to respond, Chuuya quickly put his hands out, desperately to stop her tears and the depressed air that he had unknowingly caused. “N-No, I didn’t..that’s not what I…”
But very quickly, the boy realized that he couldn’t win. Either way, Dazai would criticize his answer, causing the ginger haired kid to quickly groan in order to pull on his hair with growing stress and anxiety.
And the cocky ass look from Dazai didn’t help as well, almost like he knew how unraveled his partner was becoming by the second. That bastard, he was making him insane. “Ahhh just shut up!!”
He then heard that no good bandage wearing waste of space laugh at his misery, confirming Chuuya’s theory almost instantly. He was fucking with him on purpose to gain a reaction, and he had lost yet again. Damn it.
Yet that’s when he watched Asagao reach forward in order to plop a hand on top of Dazai’s head, his chin still firmly resting against her shoulder comfortably. “Now Samu, take it easy on Chu Chu. He hasn’t even answered my question yet.”
Dazai then grumbled in response as Asa’s hand moved down to the death grip on her wrist in order to tap her pointer finger onto his bandages in some sort of hidden code before the boy reluctantly let go.
Moving his fingers from his messy ginger hair, Chuuya then paused his breakdown in order to find the girl standing a few feet away from him, her hand immediately grabbing his with a small smile. “So what do you say, will you come celebrate my birthday with me?”
Her question was absolutely insane considering the hell he had just been put through. It didn’t matter how sweet and nice this random girl was, there was no way he was going to spend the entire day with a demon like Dazai. Over his dead body.
But how could he tell her that? She was looking at him so hopefully, even though he was sure that this Asa girl didn’t even know who he was. “Listen I don’t think..”
Yet before he could finish, Asagao reached down in order to grab his other gloved hand, holding both of them up with a small squeeze. “Please say you’ll come! I would really love it if you were there. I just know we could be great friends!”
But Chuuya knew the only reason she wanted him to come was because she didn’t know about his mafia lifestyle. Yes, he had asked her about the port mafia when they first met but there was no way she could know about the bloody and brutal life he lived.
Dazai probably kept her in the dark. That was the only solution.
Because if she did know then there was no way any sane person would ever act this way. He murdered people and she was just holding his hands like nothing. “Now hold on, I didn’t say yes..”
Asagao only leaned closer though, Chuuya catching the vague blue of her eyes behind her glasses. “But you’re thinking about it, right?”
Her pushy nature was starting to irritate him though. Why couldn’t she just shut up and let him finish? Instead she was putting words in his mouth, making him guilty for turning her down.
Because of that, Chuuya felt a bit of his temper seep out, ripping his hands away from her hold in order to take a step back with a bitter scoff. “Cut it out, I didn’t say that either!”
Although that’s when he watched Asagao’s face fall for a second, her shoulders slumping back down just like before in order for her to sadly chuckle under her breath. “Oh..I’m getting ahead of myself again, aren’t I? Sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep. It’s just this is my first birthday in Yokohama with someone to share it with and I got carried away. All the others were so lonely before, but I understand if you’re busy…”
Widening his eyes, Chuuya then felt his heart twist inside his chest with a guilty pang.
Ah shit, now he felt like an asshole. She sounded so sad saying that. But how was he supposed to know that she was lonely, that she didn’t have any friends or anyone to share her birthday with? Damn it. How could he possibly deny her after that?
And even though the last thing he wanted to do was spend time with shitty Dazai, the boy knew he could manage at least an hour or so. He guessed. Anything to make the guilt in his chest go away.
Grumbling to himself with silent defeat, Chuuya then sighed before scratching the back of his head awkwardly, his voice slightly uncomfortable. “Fine. I’ll stay, just don’t make that face.”
Then, like a light switch, Asagao seemingly jumped back to life, almost like her past sadness was fabricated completely in order to get what she wanted. “Wait, really?! Did you hear that Osu, he’s gonna stay! Ah, this is the best day ever!”
Feeling immediately whiplashed, Chuuya then stood dumbfounded before feeling Asagao’s giddy and frantic arms wrap around his waist in a sloppy hug before jumping up and down once, shaking the boy completely.
Hold on, why did he feel like he just got played?
No, that couldn’t be. He had to be imagining it. He was just spending too much time with Dazai. That’s why her actions felt off. Stupid bastard was messing with his psyche now. Just great.
Asagao then gasped before immediately letting go, almost as if her brain seemingly remembered some other random thought. “Well, what are you waiting for, let’s get going! I got lots of stuff I wanna do.”
Clapping her hands together, the girl then turned around sharply, her steps quick and confident before she completely missed the door to the left in order to slam her entire face into the brick wall next to her as Chuuya gasped in horror.
Shit, that looked like it really hurt. “...are you okay?”
Asa only stepped back before rubbing her face once though, a goofy unbothered look still on her face in order to pat the brick with understanding. “Oh, yeah! I’m great. I just thought the door was closer than that ha ha ha.”
Suddenly Chuuya couldn’t help but feel a sense of deja vu, recalling their first meeting. Damn, she wasn’t kidding when she said she had shitty eyesight.
How did she ever get anywhere like that? Weren’t those glasses supposed to help? Great, now he was even more concerned about her.
Lifting up his hand to help her, the girl simply stepped away from it, Asa’s hand finding the doorknob in order to enter back into the cafe as Chuuya watched completely and utterly dumbfounded. That girl was something else.
He didn’t think he’d ever met someone like her before. So strange and odd yet so gentle and kind at the same time. He didn’t know what to make of her at all. And for some reason, one interaction with her had left him completely winded and exhausted, like he had just ran a marathon.
Now that he mentioned it, he felt like that the last time they had met also. Completely and utterly drained of all energy.
Giving out a heavy sigh at the feeling, Chuuya then turned around back to Dazai before a wave of displeasure washed over him. He couldn’t talk about this while Asa was around but now that she was gone he wanted answers.
This cocky son of a bitch, he had to have some sort of underhanded motive for keeping a girl like her around, and he was going to find out what. “What the hell is your game?”
Dazai only batted his uncovered eye with fake innocence though, something that made Chuuya feel sick. “Game? I don’t know what you mean.”
He was lying, it was obvious, which meant he was using that poor girl for something. “Don’t fuck with me. That girl, you can’t be serious, right?”
The only thing he received though was a cocky ass smirk, the bandaged boy stepping closer with a dark gleam in the corner of his eye. “I don’t think that’s any of your business, Chuuya.”
And sure, Dazai was right in a sense. He didn’t really care about the types of women he kept around but he felt bad for Asagao, so much so that seeing a pure soul with someone like Dazai didn’t feel right. This kid would only make her cry, that was practically a guarantee.
And call him weak or whatever but Chuuya didn’t want to see that kind of result for her.
She was so different from them after all, it was practically obvious to tell from that one tiny interaction. Dazai and him had murdered, tortured and committed thousands of crimes.
She didn't need to be around that. She didn’t deserve to have that light around her die like theirs had. “It becomes my business when you drag innocent civilians like her into danger just because you think it would be funny to watch.”
And he was sure that Dazai saw this as some kind of sick game, that he was relishing in the corruption of this girl between his fingers but Chuuya didn’t agree with that ideology. The two worlds needed to be separate and this idiot was mixing what shouldn’t be mixed.
Although something about his warning seemed to bring the boy amusement, Dazai’s lips curving up into a scoff as he whispered the words on his tongue. “Civilians like her, huh? What a dense word choice..”
Yet before he could question it, the boy covered his comment with another, his tongue licking his lips in some sort of depraved manner. “You’re right Chibi, she is quite fun. In fact, she’s the most fun I’ve had in years.”
Chuuya felt himself cringe in disgust at that, not warning to know what he was implying. “I mean it, shitty Dazai. Stop manipulating her. She’s not like you.”
Once again though, Dazai only snorted, his lips carrying an ominous air to them as he chuckled under his breath to Chuuya’s dismay. What kind of reaction was that?
Taking a threatening step forward, the ginger haired boy narrowed his eyes, not understanding the joke. “What’s so damn funny about that?”
The air was silent then, Chuuya watching as Dazai simply turned away from him in order to open the door back to the cafe with a small shake of his head. “I take back what I said, you’re still stupid.”
At that, the boy felt himself grow livid, his head reeling with anger in frustration in order to snap back to Dazai with a shout. “W-What? What the hell does that mean?!”
Dazai only paused in the doorway though, his hand moving towards the frame before looking back towards his idiot partner with a cocky knowing smirk, the ginger’s words playing in his ear in an amusing loop.
She’s not like you.
Oh how wrong poor little Chuuya was.
And Dazai couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when he realized it.
Tilting his head to the side, Dazai then finished cryptically, a chill running up Chuuya’s spine as he unknowingly took in every single word with dread.
“That’s for you to find out.”
-----
Chapter 16:
Feeling even more drained than before, Chuuya took a couple more moments alone before finally deciding to enter the back door of the cafe with an anxious weighted sigh of frustration.
He had absolutely no idea what Dazai had meant back in that alleyway but not knowing was honestly pissing him off even more. Whatever it was though, it didn’t sound good, almost like the boy was mocking his inability to see something that was in front of his face.
But what didn’t he understand? Things looked pretty clear to him.
And that was that this strange girl was in danger, in multiple horrifying ways.
The first was Dazai obviously, that was the most blatant one. It was almost a guarantee in his mind that the loser didn’t care about her and was only using her for some sort of selfish purpose.
Because that’s just how Dazai was. He was unapologetically cruel and inhumane. He did things for sheer entertainment even if the other party was desecrated in the process.
And Chuuya knew that firsthand, considering he had the unfortunate displeasure of being on both the receiving and spectating sides.
He comprehended the bastard so well, more than he ever wanted to in the first place, and because of that, Chuuya also knew that Dazai didn’t have the capacity to keep someone around without it having a benefit to him.
But the question was, what was Asagao’s benefit to a demon like Dazai? What was the reason he kept her around? Was it merely for some sick kick or was it something that Chuuya wasn’t seeing?
Because his interactions with that girl thus far had been as innocent as they came. Sure, she was weird and kind of strange but that’s about it. Dazai never bothered with civilians before so what made her so special? Or was the girl just a fly caught in a deceptive and manipulative web? He didn’t know.
But the second reason she was in danger was possibly even worse than the first. Because if Dazai did hypothetically care about this girl, which was highly unlikely but Chuuya could play devil's advocate, then he had to know that just being out like this was putting her at risk to be hurt, kidnapped or even tortured by his enemies.
The guy was an executive after all, Mori’s right hand man and he had made a million enemies during his time in the port mafia. He knew Dazai wasn’t an idiot so he must have known that attaching himself to such a weak and helpless girl would make her a target in an instant.
That’s why Chuuya never tried or even toyed with the idea of dating, because he knew that any partner he gained would be in constant peril, and that was something the ginger haired boy couldn’t stomach.
But here was Dazai, bringing his girlfriend out in public, pushing themselves in with hoards of people and letting her roam alone when he knew damn well the risk that was waiting around every corner.
That made Chuuya’s first theory seem more plausible. He had to just be fucking around, because there was no way anyone would ever do what he was doing to a loved one. They would protect a partner, not make them balance on a line between safety and the instability of life.
But either way, whichever it turned out to be, Chuuya was going to find out.
Because if she really was in danger the ginger knew he had to get her out of it. Dazai would never come to her aid, he would never let her go so now it was up to him.
Over his dead body would he ever allow a moral and pure person like her to be corrupted so brutally. No, he would stop it before that slimy bandaged prick could even try.
Giving another full body sigh, Chuuya then turned the corner only to come out of his thoughts as he watched Asagao brighten up at his presence, her hand waving wildly from across the cafe in order to slightly bounce off her seat. “Chu Chu, over here! We got you a seat!”
Almost immediately, a wave of disgust poured into his throat at her given nickname, the port mafia member reluctantly noticing the long empty booth in the corner as Dazai and Asagao sat together on the opposite side by the large window.
Making his way over to her in order to slide into the empty booth with a groan, he got down to business. First things first, that name had to go. “Listen, if I’m gonna stay then you need to cut it out with that name already.”
At first he thought she used it by accident but very quickly it was apparent that wasn’t the case. She was doing it on purpose, evading his actual name for a cute-sy replacement and he was sick of it.
Asagao only turned her head though. “Aww really? But I think it’s cute.”
Dazai then nodded in agreement before slinging an arm around her shoulder in order to pull her closer with a mocking reply. “Yeah Chu Chu, lighten up already. I’d say it’s growing on me too.”
But that just made the situation even worse, the boy feeling his temper rise by the second. “Oh god, don’t you dare start. It’s not cute, it’s fucking annoying. I hate it.”
And that seemed to be new information for Asa. “You really hate it?”
Slamming his hands on the table, he replied. “Yes! It’s the worst nickname I’ve ever heard. Just call me by my name if you wanna talk to me, will you? It’s not that hard.”
He then watched Asa pause for a second, seemingly taking in his words before her eyes flashed with something different, something that Chuuya couldn’t put his finger on. “Okay, I understand. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you that without permission. I promise I won’t say it anymore until you agree to it.”
Chuuya only scoffed though, firm in his beliefs. “Yeah well, like hell that’s ever gonna happen so you better get used to just using my actual name instead.”
Asa then smiled, the corners not reaching the tips of her cheeks in order to close her eyes with some sort of unknown acceptance. “Okay, Chuuya. I understand.”
Good, she probably realized that this was a challenge that was impossible to beat, that’s why she was giving up so easily. Well, that was easy enough. Usually he’d have to fight someone on his decision more. How strange and refreshing.
Dazai on the other hand only pouted his lips, tapping his fingers playfully on the table. “Aww Chuuya’s such a party pooper. He doesn’t let me say any of his nicknames either. Doesn’t stop me ignoring it. I say to do it anyway. It’s funny to watch him explode, trust me.”
Glaring in the direction of the boy, Chuuya grumbled only for Asagao to lift a hand up and touch his bandaged wrist gently. “No, it’s okay. I went overboard anyways. If I want us to be friends then I have to listen and respect his wishes.”
Her words were so kind and mindful, causing the ginger haired boy to blink in disbelief. Damn, when was the last time someone was so careful of his requests? Did she really want to be friends with him that badly? But why, he wasn’t anyone special.
So much so, the boy couldn’t help to voice his question, desperate to know the answer. “Hey so uhh how did you even get involved with shitty Dazai in the first place? I mean you are way better than him. Why settle?”
The bluntness of his question didn’t shake the girl though, her fingers tracing an invisible line down Osamu’s bandaged wrist as he watched her quietly. “I don’t see it as settling at all. Osamu is the only person I value more than anyone else in the world. The connection I have to him can’t be explained in words.”
Huh, that was strange. Her response was so personal and yet so vague, something that Chuuya couldn't comprehend in the slighest. What did that even mean? And how could she value an awful person like Dazai so wholeheartedly? There had to be something he was missing.
But before he got the chance, Osamu gasped over dramatically in order to flop his head on her shoulder and nuzzle into her neck in order to wrap his arms around her chest in a suffocating hug. “Aww Asa-chan! You’re too precious and adorable! Hey Chuuya, isn’t my girlfriend just the best?! I don’t know how I got so lucky to be even near the presence of an angel like her!”
Asagao only accepted her “death by hug” though, the girl smiling lovingly under the suffocation but not returning the gesture which Chuuya found odd. If she was that happy by his touch then why wasn’t she returning it?
It was like they had some sort of unspoken rule about it or something.
Sighing to himself, Chuuya then grumbled under his breath, the response mostly to himself then the love birds across from him. “I have no idea. If you ask me she’s too good for a suicidal bastard like you.”
If the two heard his comment though, they didn’t acknowledge it, Asagao simply closing her eyes in order to smile softly under Osamu’s firm embrace. “Ahh, me too Osamu. I also feel lucky. In fact, today is such a wonderful day to be alive, don’t you think?”
Pulling away just slightly, Dazai then wrinkled his nose in disgust like she had just uttered something completely outrageous. “Don’t know, it feels the same like every other pointless day to me.”
His depressing comment only made her silently contemplate the thought though, Chuuya watching her as she shifted back from the boy in order to gaze towards the open window in some sort of understanding.
Then after a moment, she answered, her eyes distantly not connecting to the bustling crowds just past the glass barrier around her vision. “Hmm, well I’d like to think it’s at least a little different. Feels better that way, you know?”
Chuuya didn’t fully get her response though, sensing the dissonance between the two immediately and calling her out on it. “What does that even mean?”
Asagao then glanced back at the ginger haired mafioso before lifting her fingers up to her glasses in order to push up the surface. “Oh uhhh I just think it’s better to think about the possibilities that the world can offer. I mean if you go in with a good attitude then even the most evil things can’t really be all that bad, right?”
Chuuya only scoffed at her sugar coated response though, throwing it away immediately. Sure, it was a nice sentiment to be so positive about things but he had seen firsthand the depravity and horrors that the world could offer by being in the underground back alleys his entire life.
And her thought process was naive at best, knowing it would only cause destruction in the end. “That stupid thinking is just gonna get you disappointed when you’re wrong.”
Asagao didn’t seem shaken by his rough response, almost as if she had already expected him to say something like that. “Maybe, but someone has to believe in the impossible outcomes, otherwise none of them will ever come true.”
Her words were surprising, a complete contrast to the dark and pointless ideology that he had heard Dazai utter time and time again. Could these two really mix well together with such opposite views? That guy only saw death while she saw the life that bloomed from possibilities around her.
And even though she knew that it may lead to disappointment down the road, she simply didn’t care, still choosing to believe in the best path even when the cobblestone was lined with only dead ends.
How strange, putting so much faith in an unstable and cruel world like theirs.
Hold on, was that why she stuck by an awful boy like Dazai this long, was it because of her inability to connect the red flags and danger in her mind? Suddenly things were starting to make more sense, why she could stomach such an insufferable bastard like him.
Wait, did Dazai know this also, was that how he was taking advantage of her?
It had to be, because why else would a demon like that guy ever care about a creature like her, so full of life and sparks of mortality, especially when he only wished for the absolute opposite.
Yet before he could say anything else, the waitress came over in order to drop off a tray of tiny desserts at their table in order for Asagao to audibly gasp in joy. “Ah, it’s here! Dig in, everyone! I got a sampler tray for us cause I wasn’t sure what kind of sweets you like Chuuya. I hope there is something in here that looks good to you.”
Looking down at the brightly colored desserts, Chuuya then surveyed the options with silent conjecture. He was never really a sweets kind of guy but it seemed rude to turn down the offer, especially considering she was so thoughtful in picking something he might like.
And on her birthday no less. She was still thinking about everyone else around her first. How sweet.
The boy then picked out a simple strawberry fruit parfait with silent acceptance as Asagao grabbed a chocolate coated cake before Dazai took a piece from her dessert in order to shove it into his mouth with a gasp.
Leaning over to him with anticipation, Asa replied. “Well, what do you think? Is it good?”
Dazai then smiled to himself in order to turn towards the girl and place his fingers onto her jaw and pull her forward with a knowing hum. “I don’t know, why don’t you try it, love? Here, let me..”
Lifting the fork up in her direction, the mafia executive then pressed his fingers further into her cheeks, causing her jaw to open and her lips to part in order for Dazai to sensually speak back. “Now open those pretty pink lips of yours for me, darling and say ahh..”
Chuuya then watched in stunned silence as Dazai pushed the fork into her mouth, feeding the girl like some sort of baby bird as Asa happily accepted the bite.
Just what the fuck is wrong with them? Dazai he expected but he would’ve thought the girl would’ve turned down that kind of embarrassing pda, especially when they were near that huge ass glass window leading to the street. Did they really have no shame?
What a couple of freaks. Get a room.
Watching her eyes practically sparkle in response, Asa immediately licked her lips from the chocolatey taste in order to speak casually like nothing was out of the ordinary. “Wow, that is good! Thanks Samu!”
Chuuya then resisted the urge to cringe as the girl then turned her eyes over him in order to catch him staring. “Oh, sorry Chuuya. Do you want some too? It’s really good, I promise..”
Almost immediately, the boy put his hands up, already feeling slightly embarrassed by the display he had just witnessed. “No way, especially not after you got your germs on it.”
Dazai then smirked to himself in order to pick up the fork once and wiggle across the table in Chuuya’s face. “Aww come on Chuuya! You want me to feed you too? Come here, I’ll give you a nice big bite!!”
Feeling himself back away in absolute disgust and horror, the boy quickly shook his head. No way was he gonna let this idiot do that. He’d probably shove that cake down his throat and make him choke to death on it. “Back off, shitty Dazai! Don’t you fucking dare!!”
Already placing his hands on the table in a mock attack, the bandaged boy turned his head in a challenge. “What’s the matter, Chibi? You were so intent on watching us. I thought you wanted a turn.”
Chuuya could only stutter back, denying whatever the guy was implying. “That’s only because you two are in front of my fucking face. I had no choice, you freak!”
Shrugging his shoulders in response, Dazai replied mockingly. “I don’t know. To me it just sounds like more evidence that you’re a pervert.”
Almost immediately, Chuuya felt his face turn red. Not this again. Dazai was making him look bad for no damn reason. Obviously it wasn’t like that. “Will you quit it with that! I said I’m not a..!!”
Yet his enemy only cut him off, placing his hands over his lips in a makeshift microphone in order to raise his voice to the entire cafe as he sang loudly. “Hey everyone, did you hear that? Chuuya’s a pervert, Chuuya’s a big fat pervert!”
Slamming his hands on the table, Chuuya then lifted his body fully off the seat, the red ominous glow of his ability outlining his frame as he thought of all the ways to beat the shit out of the kid in front of him.
Anything to make him shut his goddamn mouth. “Why you..!!”
Yet before he had the chance to do so, both Dazai and Chuuya were halted when he heard a fit of laughter next to them, the two boys turning in order to find Asagao physically holding her stomach as tears pricked the corners of her ears as she tried to breathe.
They seemed dumbfounded at that, the kid’s silent as Asa simply wiped a stray tear away in order to put a hand up in apology. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’m just so happy. I’ve never experienced anything this lively before. It’s so different from my other birthdays. It’s great, really..”
She seemed genuinely happy about their bickering, like the loud and rambunctious air was music to her ears which concerned Chuuya more than anything. Who in the hell liked yelling and arguing? He was right, there was something wrong with her.
But Dazai seemed to understand more about her sentence, the boy sliding back down in his seat in order to place a warm hand to her head in absolute silence as she tried to desperately quell her laughter.
And although their interaction was completely wordless, even Chuuya could sense some kind of hidden meaning to it. Like they were reading each other's minds. Weird.
But the new air was enough to make the boy slump back into his seat as well, grumbling to himself as his anger dissipated.
What could he even say to that? Sure, he still wanted to throttle the idiot but after seeing that face from her he decided to resist.
Just barely.
“Whatever. Just hurry up and finish so I can go home already.”
The rest of the dessert party was relatively normal. Sure, Dazai and Chuuya still snapped at each other every five seconds but Asa didn’t seem to mind, the girl happily eating away at her cake until there was nothing left.
And once they were done, the three kids made their way back into the streets of people only for the gingered haired boy to watch Dazai kick his foot out just as Asa approached behind him.
Then almost immediately, the poor girl walked right into his shoe, tripping on his outstretched foot, falling forwards with a squeak only for Dazai to shift his body and grab her by the waist rather dramatically before she could fall to the ground.
Titling her body back into an intimate bow, the sixteen year old boy then snickered to himself. “My Asa-chan. I know you said you fell for me but you have to be more careful. My darling girlfriend, whatever would I do if something happened to you?”
His smooth talk was real rich considering he had purposely kicked his foot out so that she would fall. What a shady little brat, acting like her hero when he was really making fun of her inability to see.
Asagao didn’t seem to notice though, her voice casual. “Sorry, Samu. I’m still getting used to the streets of Yokohama. Thanks for catching me though.”
Dazai then gasped in an over the top fashion before snapping her body back up in order to shove her to his chest in a protective hold. “Not to worry my love, I will always catch you! I mean how could I not when you’ve already fallen from heaven and into my arms!”
Chuuya only resisted the urge to gag at his pick up lines, feeling more drained then ever before. “Right so, can I go now? I’ve stayed long enough hearing this bastard's bullshit.”
That seemed to shatter their little personal bubble though, Asagao immediately breaking away from Osu in order to run up to the gravity manipulator with a gasp. “What, no you can’t go yet. The day’s not over yet. I still have lots of plans.”
Raising an eye, the boy frowned. “Like?”
Asa then lifted her hands up to the sky, shouting back happily. “Like karaoke!”
Chuuya only blinked in confusion though, the words processing on his tongue. “...karaoke?”
She wanted two port mafia members to sing karaoke with her? Oh you’ve got to be kidding me. That would ruin his image he was trying to go for. Besides, her plans sounded rather mundane, and that was something that Chuuya was never good at in the first place.
Yet before he could argue, Dazai had latched onto Asa’s wrist in order to drag her behind him and down the road. “Come on Chibi, it’s my darlings day, whatever she says goes!”
Chuuya then watched the couple as his partner practically yanked the girl around the busy groups of people as the ginger chased after them with concern.
What the hell kind of hold was that? It looked like he was trying to kidnap her. “Hold on, why are you pulling her like that?”
Dazai then paused for a moment, his hold unmoving from her wrist in order to glance back with a sly smirk. “Cause my love is hopelessly lost without me to guide her, isn't’ that right?”
Asagao only nodded her head in response in order for the boy to continue his rough handling as Chuuya couldn’t help but follow behind them with apprehension. How could the girl possibly be okay with this? He wasn’t even holding her hand, he was just dragging her around like a dog on a leash.
Great, now he couldn’t leave them alone.
Not when he was still unsure what Dazai’s plans really were.
Yet unknown to the spiraling Chuuya, the bandaged boy and the glasses girl then secretly glanced towards each other, sharing a hidden message with their eye contact and a small unseen nod before she felt Dazai’s fingers tighten around his hold.
And as they went, a group of shadowy figures watched dangerously from a distance as well, their gaze focusing in on the executive and the auburn haired female that was attached to his side.
But mostly the girl.
Nakahara Chuuya had been in a million horrifying situations.
He had seen wars, witnessed the most brutal of deaths and tortured the worst criminals he could possibly imagine. But nothing, and I mean nothing could have prepared him for this.
Because right now the port mafia member, the leader of the sheep, the fearsome gravity manipulator was stuck sitting on a plush sofa, listening to Dazai badly sing and dance the latest pop songs over and over again for hours on end.
And not only that, Asagao and Osamu seemed to encourage each other every single time, the two kids having a time of their life as they took turns with the verses, clapping and cheering like they were at an actual concert.
It was an odd sight for sure. Because although Asa wasn’t half bad at singing, Dazai purposely sang horribly, probably to get on Chuuya nerves and make him want to run into oncoming traffic. Because if that was the plan he was succeeding.
But as ear grating and overstimulating as it was, even Chuuya couldn’t help but admit that the two of them looked good together in some kind of fucked up way. The way they danced and shouted seemed to be in a sync that the ginger couldn’t comprehend.
Now and back at the cafe they seemed to read each other's minds without a word, able to predict their next arm gestures or kicks in order to match it in a millisecond.
It was kind of impressive to be honest, how well they matched each other without even trying.
Finally the song ended as Asa and Osamu gave each other a giddy high five and flop onto the sofa in order for the girl to lift out the microphone to Chuuya. “Ah, that was fun! You should really try it, Chuuya. It’s very freeing!”
The boy only shook his head though, pushing the object away. There was no way in hell he was going to sing while Dazai was here. The guy would just make fun of him for it. “Nah, I’m alright. You can take my turn since you’re so good at it.”
Asagao then smiled before pulling the mic back to her. “You think so? I’ve been practicing for this very moment. Glad to know all the singing alone in my room paid off finally!”
Her response was depressing as hell, causing Chuuya to raise an eye in question. She said something like that in the cafe also. What was her life even like before she met Dazai? Because the way she was speaking it seemed kind of lonely and sad.
Yet before he could speak on it, Osamu stretched out his arms in order to throw the heavy microphone directly into Chuuya’s face. “Honestly, it’s for the better if he stays quiet. I’ve heard Chibi sing and it sounds like a cat in a dishwasher. Trust me, Asa-chan. You’re dodging a bullet there!”
Then the boy pointed to the door with a hum. “I’m going to extend our time, try not to miss me too much while I’m gone, love.”
Dazai then winked in her direction before leaving Asa and the ginger alone in an awkward and uncomfortable silence.
Not knowing what to say, Chuuya then jumped up before also moving towards the door with a rushed reply. “I’m gonna go get a drink. You want anything?”
Shaking her head in response, the boy then took in the answer before disappearing down the hallway in order to force himself to breathe from the strange new atmosphere.
This place was so different from the places he usually frequented, littered with hoards of school kids in uniform around the same age as him. Even still, the mafioso still felt out of place in his own supposed domain.
Perhaps if he wasn’t in the sheep or the mafia then this could feel more natural.
Sighing to himself, Chuuya then couldn’t help but think back to the annoying and insufferable bandaged menace that he had been forced to follow around all day. He still didn’t know what to make of Asa and Dazai’s relationship but he still couldn’t help but be conflicted by it.
Because nothing had explicitly shown him that Dazai didn’t care about her. Yes, he was still mean and cruel but there was something else about the two of them that Chuuya couldn’t place.
The way the two looked at each other sometimes, the way they silently communicated with each other by simple and seemingly natural touches, it was something that the ginger hadn’t seen at all from Dazai in the time he’d known him.
And it was blatantly obvious that Asagao was crazy about him but was it the same for the executive? Could it really be? Did Dazai actually have the capacity to care about someone else other than himself?
Had he been wrong this entire time? You know, perhaps he judged the guy too quickly. Sure, he wasn’t a good person but perhaps he wasn’t all evil. Maybe, just maybe there was hope somewhere deep inside that pitch black heart of his.
Turning the corner to get to the vending machine, Chuuya then froze as he saw a very familiar black jacket and bandaged arms appeared in his vision just a couple feet away.
And just like that, every single bit of hope, every nice thing he had said in his mind about his partner flew out the window in an instant.
Because standing a couple feet away was that very same boy, grabbing onto some random ladies' hands lovingly while flirting with her openly in front of the entire building as he swooned.“I have to ask. Would a beautiful lady such as yourself be interested in a double suicide with me?”
And hearing his words, Chuuya only saw red.
That bastard, that two timing, cheating little rat! His lovesick girlfriend was just steps away and he was just betraying her so easily, on her birthday nonetheless!! God, what a selfish horrible, ugly little prick. He wanted to beat his face in.
How could he do that to her? Didn’t he hear what she said about him, about how she thought that Dazai was the most important thing to her? He really had no problem crushing her dreams like that.
Although that’s when he heard a small female voice behind him, poking his shoulder once. “Umm Chuuya? Are you okay? You took a while so I got worried.”
Feeling his face grow pale, Chuuya then immediately turned around before catching the concerned look in Asagao’s face. No, this was bad. She couldn’t see this. It would crush her, it would hurt her beyond reason, and on her birthday.
No, he couldn’t let that happen, he wouldn’t give Dazai the satisfaction.
Quickly reaching his hand forward, Chuuya then latched onto her eyes in order to push her backwards and away from the horrible disgusting sight. “Follow me, this way…”
He didn’t let go until the two were fully outside of the building, his hand moving away in order to immediately shut down the danger as quickly as possible. “Listen, you need to break up with Dazai. Trust me, it’s for your own good.”
At that, Asa softened, almost like she already knew where this conversation was heading. “Chuuya..”
Chuuya shook his head almost instantly though. “Look, I know you wanna believe that he’s a good guy or whatever but that’s just not the case. He isn’t this sweet boyfriend you’ve hoping for. He’s a monster, he doesn’t care about anyone but himself and dating you is definitely some sort of sick joke to him. I just know it.”
Once again, the girl was only unbothered. “Thank you for being worried about me, but Osamu’s not as bad as you think he is.”
Not as bad?! No, she was right, he was worse. Dazai was the worst person he had ever had the displeasure of meeting and Chuuya was desperate to get his slimy little fingers off of her as quickly as possible. Just because he had to deal with him didn’t mean she did as well.
So much so, the control he had slowly started to slip away in order to make her understand the severity. “No, you don’t get it! That bastard is in there cheating on you right now, flirting with some chick with absolutely no shame! He’s disgusting.”
Ah shit, he didn’t mean to spill that to her right now. But what could he do, he was just so pissed about her inability to see what was really wrong here. Yes, maybe she’d cry but at least she’d understand.
She was silent then, causing Chuuya to hastily continue. “The truth is, you don’t know anything about him. He’s been playing with you this whole damn time! How much did he tell you about being in the port mafia? Has he told you he’s murdered and tortured thousands of people? Has he said anything about the disturbing crimes and disgusting shit I’ve seen him do for the last year? Face it, Asagao. He doesn’t care, he never did.”
Grabbing hold of her shoulders in order to shake some sense into her, the boy finished plainly. “Look, I can get you out of here. I can help you leave him if he won’t let you but you need to do it now. By attaching yourself to him you’ve already put yourself in danger. People are going to see you as a target and I’m damn sure that Dazai won’t come save you either. Do you hear me, you’re going to die if you stay here..”
And he was prepared to ditch this place in a heartbeat in order to make sure such a kind and pure soul was safe from the clutches of the demon.
Perhaps Dazai didn’t have a heart but he did and the last thing he was going to do was allow the light in her to die just because that mackerel didn’t care enough to protect it.
Yet before he could speak again, Chuuya’s entire body began to tense as he felt a threatening presence join them in the alleyway, causing the boy to immediately shove his arms into Asagao in order to push her behind him with a glare. Who the fuck..?
A group of individuals seemingly appeared out of nowhere then, one to the men clapping sarcastically at the scene before him. “Well well well, what do we have here? I thought we had a meeting today but here you seem to be having a grand old time after standing us up.”
Chuuya recognized the men immediately, a groan sounding in the back of his throat. Ah shit, these were the guys that Dazai and him were supposed to threaten for stepping out of line and going against the port mafia’s orders. Looks like they got tired of waiting just like him.
And though he could understand their annoyance, the fact that Asagao was here with him made this situation a million times worse. This is what he was trying to avoid and now the lines between his world and hers were crossing into each other.
Keeping his stance strained, the mafioso then shoved his hands into his pockets before giving the men around them a warning look. “The meeting got pushed back. My shitty partner decided to go MIA and I was just about to drag him back.”
Although that’s when the man in the middle of the group started to laugh, his lips turning up into a twisted toothy grin in order to lift his hand out to his men for something. “Oh, that won’t be necessary, plans have changed.”
Reaching behind him, the random thug then pulled out a very familiar black jacket, the fabric crumbled and messy as a deep set of crimson blood dripped from the ends.
Oh fuck, this was bad. These guys didn’t want a meeting, did he? They wanted an ambush, to fully break free of the mafia’s chains.
And now they had Dazai as leverage to do it.
Chuuya was then taken out his thoughts as Asagao shouted in pure fear, her voice shaky and uncertain, a flash of red auburn ran past his vision in order to reach the jacket. “O-Osamu?!”
Feeling his throat stain with terror, the ginger quickly lifted his hand out to stop her only to hit air, almost like she was never there in the first place before blinking and finding her a couple inches from the fabric.
Damn it, what the fuck was she doing?! “Hey wait, don’t..!!”
It was too late though, one of the men activating their ability in an instant as red sharp strings sprung from his fingertips in order to latch onto Asagao’s neck and pull her backwards into enemy arms.
The sharp skill instantly choked her, causing the girl to gasp out in fear only for her captives to twist her arms behind her back painfully with a sick hum. “Mmm and what do we have here?”
Chuuya was livid though, his body already glowing with his gravity manipulation ability and absolute rage. “Bastard! Let her go, she’s not a part of this!”
The man only laughed though, tightening the strings on her throat as Asa let out another suffocating gasp before tapping her cheek once. “I beg to differ, Nakahara. We’ve been watching this one very closely. Who would’ve thought we would get to meet the demon prodigy’s precious little girlfriend? I think we’ll keep her too just to make him squirm.”
Analyzing the situation with a pounding heartbeat, Chuuya glanced at the men around him before cursing silently. From the way they were positioned any move could cause the ability around Asa’s neck to snap her head off completely. He was stuck.
Grasping for anything he could, the boy glared back. “Nice try but Dazai doesn’t care about her like that. Taking her won’t give you any damn leverage.”
And he hoped that would be enough to let her go, to lessen her value to these dangerous men, but sadly he only received the opposite. “Oh, I don’t know about that. We witnessed firsthand how the executive treats her. The overly touching, feeding each other deserts in plain sight, saying that he doesn’t know what he would do without her, we’ve seen it all.”
Feeling his eyes widen, Chuuya then felt his hands turn practically white from his grip. Fuck, this is what he was trying to tell that bastard since the beginning. He was practically throwing himself on her in public all day and now Asagao was a target because of his reckless behavior.
Why wasn’t he more careful, why didn’t he realize this was going to be the result? Or did he truly just not care about Asagao at all? How evil, leaving her to defend herself like this for attacks when she couldn’t handle it.
What a misfortune it was, being labeled as the misfortune of being Dazai’s girlfriend. What a death wish it truly brought to such a poor innocent girl in an instant.
He was so angry. No, he was absolutely furious for her that he felt his gravity ability glow even brighter only for the man to quickly close his fingers as Asa suffocated even faster. “Now, let’s not be so hasty. We have the executive and the girl. So it would be beneficial if you just went along with our requests instead of that? Otherwise who knows what could happen to her?”
Snapping his fingers, one of the guys then pulled out a pair of handcuffs before throwing them on the floor by Chuuya’s feet as the boy looked at the metal with disgust.
They wanted him to put on these ability suppressors and follow them to god knows where? You’ve got to be kidding me. There was no way in hell he was going to do that.
But if he didn’t then that meant that Asagao would be taken to Dazai and inevitably killed when that mackerel expressed his indifference to her.
Damn it, he really had no choice, did he?
Looking back up to the girl in question, her scared expression then locked onto his in order for small tears to prick the corners of her eyes. “C-Chuuya..”
And just like that, Chuuya immediately reached down in order to quickly latch the ability suppression cuffs on his wrist, disabling his desire to fight back as the men around him laughed at the defenseless boy. “Good choice.”
Then before he could answer, the red strings disappeared around Asa’s throat leaving her to collapse unconsciously onto the cold ground as Chuuya felt a painful knock in the back of his head at the same time, meeting her straight onto the ground.
Before he blacked out completely, the boy cursed Dazai’s name, reaching his hand out towards the unmoving auburn haired girl in question with a silent promise.
Damn it, I’ll get you out of here, I promise.
----
(This is a fourth part mini arc that will all connect together. These are the first two parts and I'll post the second two together as well. Thanks for reading!)
Summary: As Odasaku's sister tries to find a way to make up for Dazai's missed birthday, she learns that it might not be so simple. Because why would a boy so intent on dying ever want to celebrate living?
Warnings: pm!sixteen year old dazai, suicide mentions, guns, manipulation on both sides, odasaku death mentions, dazai being a simp, protective ango
(This is chapter fourteen of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. I'll link the master list below so you can get the full story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)
Master List Here
A03 Here
Work Count: 6k
Ango placed a hand up to his face before rubbing his temple in order to quell the dull pain that resided there. This was the fourth week in a row that he had spent in his office alone and the man was starting to get used to the dim and windowless walls around him.
The tasks in front of him were extensive, they always were for his line of work and the process had become a force of habit lately for the man. It was easier that way, working himself into the ground in order to keep his mind off his deceased best friend and the mistakes he regretted every step of the way.
Because in some sort of sick way the agent still believed that he was partly responsible for Odasaku’s death. Maybe not directly but he was a spy in the port mafia, he still betrayed Dazai and Oda by telling the government all their secrets, the ones that he promised to keep. He lied, he betrayed them in the worst possible way and Ango knew he didn’t deserve forgiveness.
And then there was Asagao.
It had been almost an entire year since he last saw her in person but the government check ups he ordered seemed to show that she was doing fine adjusting to Yokohama.
And he promised himself that he would be there for her, that he would take on that brotherly/ paternal role that Oda couldn’t do anymore but who was he kidding? He wasn’t equipt for that kind of thing. He never liked kids, and now he was responsible for the most important thing in the universe? How could he possibly be worthy of such a thing?
In a twisted way, he couldn't help but look at her as an atonement, a penance for his past crimes. Because maybe if he kept her safe then the universe would forgive him as well, maybe he could finally have a good night's rest without the consent guilt on his back.
But he knew it was wrong to look at her that way, to only see her as a bargaining tool of his own psyche. How despicable of him. She had nothing to do with all of this. Asa was just a lost sixteen year old child that needed guidance.
And though he was sure he wasn’t equipped for that, Ango knew he had to try.
He couldn’t fail anyone else, especially Odasaku’s little sister
Sighing to himself, Ango then reached his office door before opening the surface and pausing at the familiar sight of crimson across his vision. “Ah, there you are! I’ve been waiting for ages. This is bad Ango, this is really really really bad! You gotta help me!”
Almost immediately, the man felt his mind turn blank with confusion, watching the frazzled and fidgety Asagao race up to him in clear distress.
And though he should’ve focused on many things, the only thing that he could comprehend was her cry for help.
Oh no, what could’ve happened? She looked so scared and helpless like this. Did someone try to hurt her? Did something happen that the government reports didn’t pick up on?!
Ango then reached forward in order to place a firm hand on her shoulders and stop her jumpy body language.
No, it didn’t matter what happened, he would fix it. He had to. Anything to make sure she was safe. “Asa..h-hey..it’s okay..what happened..?”
The girl only shook her head though, causing Ango to grip onto her even tighter, a sense of dread in his voice. “It’s okay, you can tell me. Does it have something to do with Dazai?”
Asagao then nodded her head sadly, causing the agent’s blood to boil. He knew this would happen, he knew that allowing her to hang around a destructive force like Dazai was a horrible idea. He could only imagine how he hurt her.
That selfish little boy, how dare he hurt the last remaining piece of Oda in this world. He didn’t care if the two used to be friends, Ango wouldn’t forgive him for ignoring his warnings.
Just then, he saw her lips start to quiver in reply, Asagao’s hand moving up in order to weakly grasp onto his buttoned down work shirt as Ango leaned in closer with anxiety at the sound of her voice.”Ango..I..I..”
Feeling his heart twist and turn at the sound of her broken little tone, the agent frowned, ready to tear down the entire city in response.
Oh my god, how bad could it be? What possible could’ve had her acting like this?
Ango’s mind then began to run rampant, already coming up with a list of people to call and documents to get in order to take Asagao away from Yokohama. Sure, it would be tricky but he could do it, he could get her away from..
Yet that’s when Asagao finished her sentence, a whine etched in her throat. “I missed Osamu’s birthday..!”
…..what?
Almost immediately, the agent felt his mind stop, his own eyes blinking in disbelief as he tried to process the ridiculous statement. That’s what this was about? She wasn’t hurt, she wasn’t in danger? All of that, for a missed birthday? Oh, you have got to be kidding me.
Forcing his hands to fall from her shoulders, Ango’s lingering headache seemed to return ten fold, his fingers reaching up to the sight with a groan. He really was worried for nothing.
Although now that his panic had passed, more questions seemed to appear in his mind. “Hold on, how did you even get in here?”
Asagao only turned her head in reply, like the answer was obvious. “Through the door, duh. You're so silly Ango, how else would I do it?”
Ango deadpanned though, knowing it wasn’t that simple. “You know that’s not what I mean. This is a government owned building. There are extensive levels of security. You can’t just..”
Realization seemed to flash on her face then, Asagao clapping her hands up before wiggling a finger in air quotes at the man’s direction. “Oh yeah! That reminds me, you should really look into that. It’s not as “secure” as you think it is.”
At that, Ango couldn’t help but widen his eyes in horror.
Wait, did that mean what he thought it meant? Did this girl just break into a high level government building and illegally gain access to his office just to tell him a stupid statement like that? Forgetting a birthday, that’s what constituted committing a literal crime?!
She was insane, literally insane. What if she got caught, what if things didn’t go as planned? Then she would’ve been in prison for something so incredibly stupid.
Feeling a sharp shiver run up his spine, Ango then looked at the goofy unbothered smile on her lips only to thank the gods that Asagao wasn’t evil or else he knew he would’ve been screwed.
To have her as an enemy, he imagined it was probably just as bad as having Dazai as an enemy.
Asagao seemed to notice his disapproving stare though, her hands going up in defense before frowning. “Hey don’t look at me like that. I tried doing things legally but the people out front wouldn't let me in and this is really important, Ango! I couldn't wait!”
The man only let his shoulders fall in defeat, already utterly exhausted from this conversion. He knew that she was spazzy and strange but this thought process was way more messed up then Odasaku ever was. She was like the man turned up to a million.
If only her brother was here, because right now the agent felt like he was clearly in over his head. “I don’t even know where to begin with that statement..”
Walking over to his desk, Ango stumped into the chair only for Asagao to turn around to place her hands on the surface in reply. “Come on Angoooo, we are getting off topic. I’m really at a loss here, that’s why I came to you in the first place. You’re the only grown up I know and I really need someone to talk to about this. Pleaseee?”
Then to add dramatic effect, the girl practically draped herself over his desk in order to bat her eyes as innocently and sweetly as possible, making Ango’s heart hesitate with guilt.
Damn it, why did she have to say that? Why did she need to bring up that he was the only reliable adult she had in her life? How could he possibly turn her away now? Even though her methods were foolish, scolding her wouldn’t change that she had searched him out.
Sighing to himself, Ango then closed his eyes before speaking apprehensively. “Alright, fine. What do you mean you missed Dazai’s birthday?”
Then almost immediately, Asagao’s expression brightened up in order for her to snap back up with a clap of excitement, almost like she had planned her pathetic little act purposely to make him cave.
But that was crazy, right?
Not giving him time to think though, Asa spoke. “Right, so we were talking and the conversation came up but then when I asked him about his birthday Osu said that it was six months ago. He told me not to worry about it but how can I? I’m his girlfriend and I couldn’t even have the decency to wish him a happy birthday. Ah, I’m the worst, aren’t I?”
Yet Ango couldn’t help but catch something else in her explanation, red flags immediately going off as his head snapped up. “Hold on, didn’t you say that your relationship is in name only? You just called yourself his girlfriend.”
The way she said it, it seemed so natural and that was something that worried Ango immediately. He was only okay with Dazai and Asa’s relationship if it was surface level. But this didn’t sound surface level anymore. And that scared him.
He then watched the girl pause before shaking her head to will away the idea. “Girlfriend, fake girlfriend whatever..you’re missing the point, Ango. This isn’t about that. Anyways, like I was saying I just..”
Ango only cut her off though only, his tone sharp. “You’re not getting attached are you?”
Practically jumping in her skin, he then watched Asa hesitate once more before stuttering out a reply. “W-What, no. Of course not. Osamu and I aren’t like that. Our “relationship” is by convenience, that’s all. I told you that. We use each other to get closer to Oda.”
Sure, that’s what she told him but relationships change. Surface level things become deeper without warning and that was something that Ango needed to shut down the moment he sensed it.
And the way she was looking at Ango right now was the man's worst fear. Her voice cracked on the first part of her reply, which meant that he had struck something unknown.
Not letting her wiggle out of this one, the man refused to break eye contact with her. “If that is the case, then why are you so worried about such a trivial thing?”
Not understanding, Asa scoffed. “What are you talking about?”
Yet Ango simply gave her the hard truth, whether she wanted it or not. “Dazai’s birthday has nothing to do with Odasaku. You know that, and yet you break into my office because of it. Why?”
It was a flaw in her story, one that the man couldn’t help but notice. Because if Dazai and her were really using each other for convenience and for Oda’s memory then why had she broken into a government facility and risked imprisonment for something that had had nothing to do with their original promise?
Watching her stumble on her words, Asa filtered with her hands “Well…because..”
Ango spoke over again though, his accusation throwing her completely off guard. “Asagao, please tell me you haven’t fallen for him.”
That was his worst fear, for Dazai to latch his greedy little claws into her so much so that she could never escape. He could so easily wrap her around his finger and make her do unspeakable things with the guise of love and Asa would know none the wiser.
He could wreck her, destroy her until she was a shell of herself and this poor girl would thank him for it.
No, that couldn’t happen. If that was the case then he would have to go back to original plan and drag Odasaku’s sister out of Yokohama as quickly as possible.
But it seemed like the idea hadn’t even crossed her mind, Asagao’s face immediately turning a bright red in order to flap her arms around in distress. “W-What?! No, no no it’s not like that. I haven’t..I didn’t even..that’s not...you're wrong. I just wanted to do something nice for him. You know, because of all the things he did for me.”
And for Asagao, the agent’s acquisition wasn't something she could comprehend. What was he saying, that she was in love with Osamu? What kind of crazy idea was that? Of course it wasn’t like that.
Love? How could she possibly be worthy of such a thing with him? He didn’t even know her. Sure, maybe they weren’t strangers anymore but Osamu didn’t have the connection that Asagao had. He didn’t have years worth of letters to go off of.
He knew her from the last year they had been together but even Asa knew not to get carried away by their relationship. Osamu would never have the bond that she had for him, and that was okay. She didn’t expect him to.
Ango was getting carried away, there was no way things could be like that. Osamu would never fall in love with a freak like her, she knew that. That’s why the idea had never crossed her mind.
The way they were now, it was enough for her.
She couldn’t expect more.
Sucking in a heavy breath, Asa then closed her eyes in order to calm her erratic heartbeat before answering his question. “You asked me why I’m so worried about such a silly little thing? Well because it's important. That’s why. Everyone deserves to celebrate their birthday, even Osamu. Thinking that he let the day pass all alone, without anyone knowing, it doesn’t feel right..”
Asagao then watched a vivid memory cross her closed eyes, causing her expression to crunch up with sadness. “Especially since I know what that’s like.”
She could still remember the feeling, every holiday and day lingering past her each year as she sat alone in her room and read her brother’s letters for a sense of warmth. No, she didn’t want Osu to have to feel that, so lonely and insignificant. It was painful.
And it seemed Ango even knew what she had meant by that statement, his stern gaze softly with painful guilt in order for his shoulders to slump with understanding.
Perhaps he read this all wrong, she was just trying to do a good thing for his old friend.
So much so, the agent then sighed to himself before standing from his desk in order to place a warm hand to Asa’s head with a reassuring smile “You don’t have to look so guilty about it. Dazai told you not to worry about it, right?”
He hated how personally she took such a small mistake, that she blamed herself for her inability to predict every little thing. It was the biggest flaw she had, burdening herself with everyone else’s problems and calling them her own.
Although her topic of conversation still struck something interesting as well, Ango’s mind wandering back to their nights at Bar Lupin and finding a gap. “But now that I think about it, Dazai never brought up his birthday to Odaskau or me, not once.”
At that, Asa couldn’t help but look up. Now we were getting somewhere. “Why do you think he never brought it up?”
Ango only shook his head though, not having the answers she was looking for. Odasaku was always better at reading that boy than him. “I don’t know, I imagine it just never interested him..”
The man then frowned before whispering mostly to himself. “I mean, for a kid so intent on dying, why would he want to celebrate another year of living?”
Then all at once, Asagao felt her eyes widen in heartbreaking realization. She had never thought about that before but Ango was right. Osamu wanted to die, he wanted to leave this world by his own volition. That was his end goal.
And the idea of a birthday was about the exact opposite. It was soaked in life and celebration, everything that Dazai Osamu absolutely despised.
After his many suicide attempts, after the world rejected to take him, she was sure that his birthday was like the equivalent of a slap in the face.
Because every year that passed was a failure to him, it marked another eternity stuck on this earth, almost like the day of his birth was continuing to mock him for being unable to finish the job.
No wonder why he looked withdrawn when she mentioned it. Asa probably brought back that rejection tenfold without meaning to. That’s why he brushed it off and told her to drop it.
Damn it, now she felt even worse than before.
There had to be something she could do to make him feel better.
Lowering her eyes in silent thought, Ango then broke through the silence, his words laced with warning. “I know that face. Stop it. I know you mean well but getting wrapped up in Dazai’s suicidal tendencies will do you no good. It will end in disaster and you're just going to get hurt like that.”
Asa only shook her head though, hating that he was right. Osamu’s world was so dark and sad, laced with loneliness and misery she could never understand. His desire to die surely stemmed from a mix of horrible experiences and feelings that he kept locked tight to himself.
Feeling her shoulders slump in defeat, the girl was at a loss. “I just want to help him, is that so bad?”
Ango only softened though, his hand landing on her shoulder with a sad smile. “No, it’s not. I want to also, but it’s not that simple. You have to understand that Dazai’s been like that for a long time, even longer than Odasaku or I have known him. Any attempt to fix what’s broken is long gone.”
Asagao slumped her head down at that, her blurry uncertain eyes boring to the floor.
She would never be able to understand it, not fully. What made him like this?
Because while she saw the good and the possibilities of beauty Asa knew that Osamu was the complete opposite. His life had only provided him with awful memories, memories that have always been incomprehensible to her.
But even still, she couldn’t help but catch glimpses of his past every once and a while. The way he would become strangely quiet and stare out Oda’s window silently while she slept, the way his eyes would narrow in deep thought when they watched a movie or the way he would flitch and tense when she tried to touch anywhere but his bandages.
Something in his life had broken him, far beyond repair.
And Asagao wasn’t stupid, as knew that crying to him or begging the boy not to kill himself was pointless. He was too far gone for that. The idea of suicide had been ingrained into every one of his cells, suffocating him and making him see no other option.
After years of suffering, how could she possibly change any of that?
Still not wanting to believe it, Asa grasped for anything she could find, anything that would heal his broken mind. “But..I..”
Yet that’s when Ango cut her off, his voice serious. “Asagao.”
Looking up from her spot on the floor, the agent finished sadly. “He doesn’t want to be saved.”
And that broke the final straw of hope that she had, the girl crumbling down internally as her entire face fell.
Ango was right. Dazai didn’t want to be saved. This whole birthday thing was a part of a larger much deeper scale, one that she couldn’t fix no matter how hard she tried.
But could it really be? Could she really not do anything? Even after he gave her so much, even after Osamu’s presence calmed her heart back home.
Right now was she truly utterly useless to him?
Searching for an answer, Asa whispered. “If my brother were still here, what would he have done?”
Ango knew the answer immediately, although it wasn’t the one she wanted. “He would’ve dropped it. Odasaku knew better than to dive too deep into Dazai’s problems and so should you.”
Drop it? Really? Oda saw this sad broken little boy and he just ignored his problems? He never brought it up or tried to fix it, not once? He pretended like they weren’t there and went on drinking with Dazai like nothing was wrong? How could he stand that?
Shaking her head, something about that sentence didn’t seem right. “But that’s what everyone else in his life has done. That’s what he’s grown up with, that’s what he probably expects..”
Just then, Asagao paused, the words getting lost in her throat before her eyes widened with realization. “I get it.”
Why hadn’t she seen it before? Why didn’t she realize that? How could she have been so stupid? Oh, she needed to get to work quickly. There wasn’t much time.
Then Ango watched the red haired kid immediately turn towards the door only for him to chase after her. What did that mean? She wasn’t about to do something dangerous, was she?
Because that was something he wasn’t going to allow. “Wait, where are you going now?”
Turning around immediately, Asagao answered back, her voice rushed and manic, like she was trying to process her thoughts by the second. “You’re right, Ango. Empty words mean nothing to him, and maybe backing off would be easier but that’s not going to fix anything. Telling him not to die, that’s not what he’s looking for.”
Ango still looked completely lost though, causing Asagao to groan in frustration before connecting the dots for him. “Don’t you see? Osamu doesn’t want to be saved, he wants to be noticed.”
Lifting her hands out in explanation, Oda’s sister continued. “How many years has Osu been alone, how many times has he let his birthday pass because he simply believes that no one will care and no one will hear him? He’s given up because he realized that it’s easier for everyone else to ignore him than to acknowledge his suffering..”
Of course, of course that’s what it was. He didn’t want someone to pull him from the ledge, he wanted someone to notice that he went up to the roof in the first place. How many years had he been ignored, looked over, and passed off because of his inability to be understood?
So much so that at some point down the line, Osamu stopped calling out, he stopped waiting for someone to see him and just buried himself in the darkness, not seeing a point in trying anymore.
That’s why he didn’t bring up his birthday, because he thought that no one would care, that no one would ever acknowledge the fact that he was alive and struggling with the wish not to be.
Oh, how lonely and isolating that must have been for him, to have given up hope.
The ideology that her brother and Ango shared, it was only part of the problem. Ignoring his pain wasn’t going to make it go away.
And perhaps acknowledgment it wouldn’t fix it either, but at least it would show Dazai that she was looking at him, that she saw him.
He wasn’t alone, she would walk right beside him for as long as she was able.
Because of that, for the first time in her life, Asagao couldn’t agree with her brother’s choice. ”But I will always acknowledge it, I won’t ignore it like my big brother. I refuse to let him suffer alone.”
Balling her hands into fists with determination, the girl then turned around in order to leave only to hear Ango’s voice once more. “Why? Why are you pushing yourself so hard for him? Dazai isn’t the kind of person that would ask you to do this.”
Asagao only nodded her head though fully aware of that. “I know.”
She knew Osamu wouldn’t have expected such a thing for her, but that’s why she had to do it more than anything else. Because he was worth it, and although he may have not believed it, he deserved only the absolute best in life.
So what if he never outwardly cried out for help? That just made his desperate silence even more prominent.
Ango then watched Oda’s sister pause by the door, her hand on the side of the frame as her next words caused a ring of newfound clarity to appear in his eyes.
“But those are the kinds of people that need it the most.”
--------
Turning the lock to Odasaku’s apartment, Dazai happily skipped inside in order to throw his usual black jacket on the floor and kick off his shoes with a holler. “Asa-chan! Your favorite person is here!”
Almost as if on cue, the girl herself came racing to the entryway, her face the epitome of sunlight as she waved towards him. “Oh, Osu! You’re just in time. I’m almost done with dinner.”
Dazai only hummed at that, already making his way towards the table in the corner as his stomach grumbled with reply.
He never liked eating before but ever since he visited Asa’s place more frequently the boy found himself looking forward to whatever would be waiting for him.
Settling down at his usual spot, Dazai placed his hands onto the table before hearing the soft humming from Asa as she moved through the kitchen causing the boy to close his eyes in contentment.
He hated how relaxed he was in this mutate and normal atmosphere. It contrasted the cold port mafia basement he had that spend the first half of his day in.
In fact, it was like night and day, the boy finally able to un-tense his shoulders and breathe for the first time in hours.
Although that’s when he heard Asa’s voice from the kitchen, just as sweet as always. “Hey, Osamu. Can you do me a favor and close your eyes for a sec? I wanna show you something.”
Lifting his head up with amusement, the boy called back, fully intent on teasing her. “So bold, Asa-chan. You plan on attacking me while I’m defenseless? Although now that I think about it, dying by your beautiful fingers wouldn’t be a bad way to go so I'll allow it.. “
Then as promised, Dazai closed his eyes, leaning back on his arms as wistfully thought about that possibility. He wasn’t kidding when he said he wouldn’t have minded her killing him tonight.
Usually the boy wouldn’t have let his guard down like this with anyone but on the off chance that Asa did betray him the executive knew he’d be okay with it. At least he would die in this nice warm place.
Perhaps she would hum for him while she did it also? That sounded like the prefect way to die.
He then vaguely heard Asagao’s footsteps sound around him before hearing the light behind him click off before she spoke again, anxiety in her tone. “Alright, open them!”
Dazai then did as she asked, opening his eyes before the soft glow of a tiny flame welcomed him, only to look down to find a small circular strawberry cream filled cake below it. But what was this?
Looking up with confusion, the boy then opened his lips only for Asagao to speak above him, her voice rising to a sing-songy tone. “Happy Late Birthday, Osamu!”
And almost instantly the boy was stunned, Dazai not knowing what to say only for Asa to continue in his place. “I know, I know what you’re going to say. But I already missed way too many of your birthdays’ I couldn’t miss another one.”
He then watched her hesitate before reaching underneath her in order to pull out a stack of colorful folded construction paper in order to place it on the table. “Besides, who knows how many of them you’ll be around for before you go. That’s why we should treat every single one as special.”
Then the girl simply slid the stack over to Dazai with a shaky nervous smile as the boy picked up the first one on the pile with confusion. Just what was her plan, and why did she look so anxious for him to look at these?
Although Dazai got his answer the moment he opened the paper, his eyes greeted by a homemade drawing with big huge bubble letters and a short message underneath.
----
Happy 1st Birthday, Osamu
I'm glad you were born.
----
Feeling his fingers turn numb, the boy then quickly closed the sight before immediately reaching for another folded paper, this time in the middle of the stack. No, it couldn’t be. These weren’t, they couldn’t be..
----
Happy 13th Birthday Osamu
This is the year I first heard about you from Oda’s letters and I wouldn’t have in any other way. You gave me so much hope and wonderful feelings. You may have seen this day as a failure but I’m glad you made it another year so I could know who you are.
-----
They were. They were birthday cards. Counting the folded pieces of paper immediately, the boy gasped. Sixteen, there were sixteen cards, one to represent every single year she wasn’t there. She made these for him.
Not knowing how to process the gesture, Dazai stared dumbfounded at the brightly colored pieces of paper. Asa went through so much effort for him, why? He told her to drop it. He wasn’t expecting her to care this much.
No one ever cared this much.
Not knowing if he wanted to continue and yet feeling the desperation to even so, the boy then reached for the final one in the stack with a shaky breath of uncertainty.
-----
Happy 16th Birthday Osamu
I know you want me to forget that I missed your birthday but I simply can’t do that, Osu. Because this is the first year I have the honor of saying to you in person. All the other times I silently spoke it through the letters but this time I’m going to get it right. So, here it goes.
I know how you probably look at this day. You see the failure, the mockery of another year alive but the time we spent together this past year has been a gift to me.
The things that you despise like your very existence or even waking up in the morning to see another day, I can't help but be grateful for them because it means I get the privilege of sharing my life with you for just a little bit longer.
And just as I cherish them, I hope you do too. So much so then when you do finally leave this world you may realize that not everything in life was bad. That someone noticed you when you thought no one ever would.
You are the most important thing to me, Osamu.
Thank you for being alive another year.
----
Once he was done reading, Dazai remained silent, his eyes glued to the page as a heavy wave of emotion coursed through him. It made his throat close up and his chest ache with unspeakable pain by the second.
No one had ever thanked him for being alive before.
These letters, she wasn’t trying to get him to live, she wasn’t shaming his desire to die. No, she had acknowledged his wish and yet thanked him for it.
God, he felt like he couldn’t breathe, like he was dying from his own faltering body. What was wrong with him? Why was his hands shaking on these cards, why was his eyes stinging with pain and his throat closing up against his will?
Asagao on the other hand watched his reactions with anxiety, her fingers flittering under the table before standing up in order to get the rest of dinner.
Perhaps her cards didn’t do much but it was worth a shot, at least he knew she was thinking about him now.
Yet that’s when she felt two arms reach around her waist, pulling her backwards into Dazai’s chest as he buried his messy brown hair into her shoulder in order to hide his expression.
His grip was firm and tight, unable to let her move or turn around, almost like it was on purpose so she couldn’t see his weak and fathering display from just behind her.
Asa didn’t mind though, allowing her body to still as she felt him squeeze her midsection in a silent thank you for not pushing it.
How could she break his rules when he was holding her with such warmth and desperation? She couldn’t, not when he was showing her such a fragile side to himself.
And this was the first time without the blindfold that she had been allowed to witness the crumbling inner boy that was Dazai Osamu.
Of course she couldn’t see him given their position but she could feel his hands and the trembling frantic hold he had as he tried to tether her to the world.
Asagao didn’t argue with that though, happy to be his anchor of hope that life could be a tiny bit better than what it was. He could cling to her as long as he needed to and as tightly as he desired because she wasn’t going anywhere. Not ever.
So much so, the girl then lifted her hand up before lightly touching the hands that were holding her, her fingers tracing over the bare skin as Osamu twitched at the contact before allowing her to rest her palm on top of his lovingly and in absolute silence.
They stood like that for what seemed like forever, listening to each other's shaky breath before Dazai finally muttered under her shoulder. “You think of something too.”
Not understanding, Asa’s hand fell from his before shifting her head in confusion. What was he saying? What was she supposed to think about?
Yet that’s when Osamu spoke again, his head lifting from the safety of her shoulder. “I missed all your birthdays also. So think of something you want to make up for them.”
Feeling her eyes to flash with realization, Asa immediately felt her lips curve into a warm smile. He was trying to meet her halfway, wasn’t he? How sweet. The scary demon prodigy wanted to get her a birthday gift.
Although, just the thought was enough for her, not wanting to step on any toes. “Oh, thank you but I couldn't possibly want anything. Just being with you is enough.”
Dazai only frowned though, immediately twisting his hands around in order to flip the girl so that she was facing him. Why couldn’t she make this easy? He was trying to do something nice for the first time in his life and she wasn’t giving him any ideas.
He couldn’t just live with her choice. Giving her nothing would’ve been like a slap in the face considering the care and time she put into him.
There had to be something she had wanted, something that he could provide.
Yet that’s when his mind flashed back to the couple days ago only for his face to light up with twisted realization. There was one thing he knew she was interested in, something she kept asking him about…
Putting his hands on her shoulders, Dazai then smiled in sick joy before speaking. “Aw come on, Asa-chan. I think we both know that’s not true, there is something you want, something you’ve been bugging me about.”
The then boy paused speaking the words he knew Asagao wouldn’t be able to resist.
Summary: After reuniting and growing closer, Dazai and Oda’s sister truly realize the value of each other and the sad bandaged boy falls deeper into the dangerous fascination and infatuation that is Odasaku’s little sister.
Warnings: pm!sixteen year old Dazai, pm! sixteen year old chuuya, ginger is very angry, Suicide mentions, guns, manipulation on both sides, Odasaku death mentions, Dazai being a Simp, Dazai being the demon prodigy but also baby at the same time.
(This is chapter thirteen of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)
Three Part Intro (Broken up because the first ch is so long)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Master List Here
A03 Version Here:
Word count: 6k total
—-
Tapping his feet in already brewing annoyance, Chuuya pushed his phone closer to his ear as each ear grating ring pissed him off by the second. And honestly, by the third one he debated throwing the entire object into the wall next to him in a fit of frustration.
He knew that little mackerel was doing this on purpose, sending his calls to voicemail over and over again. That guy never had anything notable going on and he knew the boss was gonna have his ass if he didn’t get in contact with that little shit.
But fortunately, or rather unfortunately for him, the line picked up on the fifth ring only to hear that same happy go lucky, irritating sing-song tone he alway seemed to use.
He hated that sound more than anything, mostly because the ginger he was about to be made fun of. “Oh Chuuuuuya, what an impatient little dog you are, blowing up my phone like this. Can't get enough of me I see.”
Gritting his teeth to hold his outburst, Chuuya simply scoffed. “Shut up, it's your own damn fault for not picking up. I know you are doing it on purpose, you shitty little mackerel.”
The voice on the other hands only hummed though, obviously unbothered. “So rude, Chuuuya, assuming such things. I am actually very busy right now. Which is why your interruption is way less pleasant than usual. And that’s saying something, considering your presence is never pleasant.”
Chuuya knew better though. “Bullshit, you’re never busy. You’re probably just fucking around somewhere.”
Just then, he heard a fake ass gasp on the side of the phone only for Dazai to answer straightforwardly. “If you call “fucking around” me currently pinning down a beautiful woman then I suppose you're right about that. Isn’t that right, love?”
Almost immediately, the ginger felt bile work its way into his throat, shoving the feeling down before shouting back roughly. “Ah, you’re so fucking disgusting! I don’t wanna know about that shit.”
Oh my god, why did he have to bring up that kind of stuff?! The last thing he wanted to do was picture shitty stupid Dazai like that, especially with some nonamed whore or brain dead manipulated bitch.
That poor soul that was with him right now, the one Dazai just called love, he pitied her, whoever she was.
Forcing the idea from his mind, Chuuya then shook his head before adding. “Listen, the boss gave us another mission in a couple days and I wanna make sure you don’t try to ditch again or else I’m gonna kill you for real, got that?!”
He knew the kid’s pattern after all, Chuuya knew how flighty and unreliable that stupid mackerel really was and he wanted to make sure that he wasn’t going to get dragged into that again. The first time he flaked was bad enough.
But as expected, Dazai didn’t sound serious, he didn’t even sound remotely interested in his threats as the boy simply waved the question away. “Don’t worry slug, I’ll be there. Can’t have my dog getting lonely, now can I?”
At that name, Chuuya felt his anger spike, the boy unable to stop his outburst. What was his damn problem?! “You fuckin…I’m not a dog!!’
Dazai’s voice only came back confused though, his voice just as annoying, cheerful and mocking as usual. “How strange, all I can hear is woof woof woof so I’m gonna hang up now! See ya, Chibi.”
And just like that, the line turned dead, causing the ginger’s eye to twitch before tightening his hold on his phone before giving into the impulse and throwing the object against the wall next to him.
Watching the phone shatter to prices before his eyes, Chuuya then shook his head before grumbling out his frustrations to absolutely no one.
“I’m gonna kill him..”
——-
Closing his flip phone absentmindedly, Dazai simply smiled to himself before placing the object back into his pants pocket only to hear the voice underneath him speak out hopefully. “Was that Chuuya?”
The boy only shook his head though, pushing his foot further into the speakers chest in order to shove his enemy further into the ground roughly. “Don’t sound so happy about it. That slug shouldn’t gain such a reaction.”
His opponent only put her hands out in defense though, turning her head curiously to the side with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it. I’m just curious, that’s all.”
Dazai expected that kind of response though, his eyes moving up in order to glance around the familiar port mafia owned warehouse that they had spent the last hour or so before she spoke again.
And this time, it was far more pushy than before. “Sooo, what did he say?”
Already feeling his lips twist into a bitter smirk, Dazai’s foot then pushed deeper into her chest, exulting double the amount of force in order for her to stop speaking. “Those aren’t the kinds of things you should be worried about, Asa-chan, considering the position you're in right now..”
Which was something that Asagao seemed to be missing in her tiny little brain considering he was currently pinning her down to the dirty and dusty warehouse floor by his foot. He clearly had the upper hand here so there was no reason for her to speak so casually.
That, and the fact that she was asking about Chuuya of all people in this sort of dangerous position caused Dazai’s sick and twisted port mafia heart to darken with malice. He was the one she was supposed to be focusing on, not that glorified hat rack.
She was at the mercy of the demon prodigy and she was acting like they were talking about the weather. He wanted her to regret ever asking about that hat rack in the first place, to apologize between his fingers for not taking his presence seriously and speaking of another so foolishly.
Then to prove his point, the boy reached into his pocket before taking out his gun in order to point the barrel straight at her head with silent warning.
It was a move that would make any one shutter and cower immediately. In fact, it was something he used a million times before to intimate each and everyone of his enemies.
But he had already learned that Asagao didn’t play by the rules of his other opponents.
Turning her head in confusion, the girl simply looked at the foot that was constricting her breathing before returning to the demon with a gentle smile of unbothered idiocy. “Oh, I’m not worried.”
And for a moment, Dazai paused, playing her game. “And why’s that, love?”
He wanted to see what she’d say, how she would justify her calm and collected behavior even though she was staring down the barrel of his gun. Yes, Asagao had outwardly said that she wasn’t afraid of dying by his hand but she wasn’t even trying to get out of it.
And he knew she could, he knew that the hellhound could fight back him if she so chose, so the fact that she was allowing Dazai to pin her down like this was interesting to say the least.
This girl, she was seconds from death and still her eyes held not one bit of urgency.
A moment later, Asagao spoke, her voice full of nostalgic memory as she reached forward in order to pull the barrel closer to her chest. “Because this is how we met, remember?”
Almost immediately, Dazai’s mind seemed to snap back to their first encounter almost an entire year ago. Huh, she was right. They had been in this position before, hadn’t they?
Back when the boy was drowning in his grief, back when he found an intruder in his friend's old place and threatened them in the same exact manner.
If only he knew how utterly life changing that little meeting had been, what kind of storm erupted from the moment he tore that hoodie off her head and looked into her Odasaku eyes.
And it was the same now, the boy looking down at her glasses free expression in order to catalog and trace the iris silently to himself. He seemed to do that a lot lately, getting lost in the emptiness as it swallowed him whole each and every time.
He was grateful for it also, knowing that the dullness of her eyes was way more welcoming then the darkness of his own soul, that by having her here he had switched the method of his demise.
Yes, drowning in Asagao was much more tolerant than drowning in his grief.
A sweeter way to die indeed, a more pleasant experience than what he ever deserved, and yet Dazai couldn’t stop himself from staring even so.
So much so, Dazai felt his lips twist upwards in familiar memory before his finger carefully cocked the gun with a dark chuckle. “Oops. You’re right, how silly of me. Let’s continue where we left off then, hmm?”
Then without a second thought, the executive pulled the trigger as a loud shot echoed through the warehouse. And most people would’ve been horrified by such a reaction, they would have regretted aiming at something he just so clearly said that he admired.
But you see, Dazai didn’t underestimate his girlfriend, not one bit.
Casually putting his hand down on his side, the mafioso then smirked to himself before turning around only to find his enemy a couple feet away, her hands on her hips. “Damn, you really tried to shoot me. I’m surprised and a little impressed, demon prodigy.”
Dazai only shrugged his shoulders though, unbothered. “Well, you told me to look at you as a threat, did you not, Asa-chan?”
It was conversation that was very prevalent in his mind, even today. Sure, the boy should’ve taken their fights easy, he should’ve sparred in a way that made sure Oda’s sister was safe but that wasn’t his style, and neither was hers.
No, Dazai treated her like a real threat, just like she deserved, he trusted that she was smart enough to anticipate his moves and counteract, like just right now.
And the fact that she had done just that also proved his theory that she could’ve gotten out his hold at any time.
What a sneaky shady little hellhound she was. He was onto her big time.
Then as if to prove his internal analysis, he watched Asagao’s face twist into that same twisted, psychotic and giddy smile that enticed him time and time again before watching her fingers twitch in unkept adrenaline just by that simple phrase.
And Dazai would never understand the power his acknowledgment had on her. That just by giving her his entire strength she was already antsy to match it. The hellhound training that had been embedded into her since she was a child, it coated and clouded every other single thought in her brain.
Pushing her fingers up to the ponytail that held her unruly crimson mane in place, Asagao then chuckled darkly before practically ripping the restraint in order to let her hair free.
And with that simple move, she had also ripped down the chains that held the monstrous creature beneath the surface, unafraid of the response it would give. “Oh Samu, you know just how to rile a girl up, don’t you? You’re right about that one, I am a threat. Now allow me to live up to your potential of me and show you how..”
And Dazai loved it, he loved that crazed beast-like look more than anything, his stance grounding itself immediately only to find that his enemy had disappeared in front of his eyes. Ah, she was using her time stopping ability. How cute.
Turning the safety off his gun, the boy then narrowed his eyes before sensing a change of wind to the right in order to let off three more shots just as Asagao reappeared millimeters from his face.
She seemed to register the bullets just in time, her body rolling to the ground in order to just miss the dangerous attacks as Dazai smirked in admiration.
And let’s be honest, should he have been pointing that gun at her like this? No. Should he have been directing his shots with the intent to kill. Also no. It was insanely risky and if she was even second too late then he would have the blood of another Oda on his hands.
Which was something the boy wrestled with internally but it seemed like his port mafia blood craved the opposite, to see just what amazing and enticing ways she could get out each deadly situation he threw at her.
And that desire, that allure was stronger than his fear to keep her locked away forever. No, she had a power, and it was too enticing to ignore, especially for the twisted mafioso who was looking for something entertaining.
He was then taken out of his thoughts as a rough hand wrapped around the barrel of his gun in order to pull it forward without fear as Asagao smirked in victory.
It didn’t matter that the chamber was loaded, it didn’t matter that his fingers were on the trigger and any slight movement could cause the end of her life.
Asa’s grip remained firm, her leg barreling into his side in order for Dazai's muscles to jump and his finger to loosen from the trigger just as she pulled it into her line of sight.
And once the cool metal was in her hands, Dazai wondered what she’d do with it, his senses on high alert only to watch the girl simply empty out the chamber of bullets with one hand, the quiet clinking of metal catching his attention immediately.
How dare she, she had the shot and didn’t take it.
Unsatisfied by her actions, the mafioso then darkened before the boy predicted her next strike in order to grab onto her fist roughly and twist it unnaturally behind her back with a huff.
No, she needed to know that she wasn’t as sly as she thought. That he was onto her little game. “Since you’re all riled up, does that mean you’ll stop holding back now too?”
He wondered how she would react to that, if she would lie about his little discovery or own up to her hypocrisy wholeheartedly? Either could be possible, considering she hadn’t disclosed to him outwardly about her watered down battles.
Asagao told him herself back in Bar Lupin that she was a prodigy just like him, that she could murder like a high level assassin and kill with the quickest of hands.
But if that was true then why hadn’t she tried that with him yet? Why hadn’t Asa displayed intent to kill with Dazai if she was so strongly in favor for believable fights?
It didn’t make sense, and he wanted to know why.
And for a moment, she felt her body still underneath his rough touch, as if she really had to think about his words. He seemed to have broken into something personal for her.
Interesting, she wasn’t denying it. But hold on, was she saying that he couldn’t handle her full hellhound side? That he was some kind of fragile little boy who wouldn't stand a chance? Did she forget that he was in the mafia, the youngest executive in the history of the organization?
She didn’t need to worry about such a thing, besides if that was the result Dazai knew he wouldn’t have opposed. So instead, he coaxed her some more. “Come on, Asa-channn. You’re no fair. I wanna die, remember?”
But even still, Asagao didn’t seem convinced, her body unmoving and eyes closing before he felt her physically shiver underneath his touch, almost like she was reliving some kind of unpleasant memory.
Something scared her, enough to cause such a visceral reaction.
Then Dazai watched as Asagao’s head slumped down into herself, her voice strained and bitter, a tone that the boy had never heard from her before. “I don’t kill anymore, I don’t want to be that person again..
Those words, they felt big, like a massive weight had just fallen on both of their shoulders. But why? What did they mean? What kind of person was she when she killed? What was she like when she truly allowed the hellhound side to fully overtake her? He wanted to ask her.
Yet before he could process that sentence, Asa used his apprehension in order to kick his shin and shift her body around, grabbing onto his forearm before flipping the skinny thin boy backwards over her shoulder.
Feeling his body slam against the ground, the girl then moved on top of him, reversing their previous position with a wave of her finger. “Besides that would be a pretty painful way to go, don’t you think?.”
His entire head began to spin instantly, both from the hit and from her change in attitude. Now she was happy, playful and just as carefree as before. There was no sign of that bitter suffocation that he had heard at all.
Which meant only one thing, she was covering it up.
But to be completely honest, every single thought he had seemed to drown out completely as he looked up at the towering force above him.
Her long messy hair was blanketed over her, shielding the two of them in a cave of her own design as she stared down with that same alluring dead eyed stare that he had admired before.
And not only that, the dim, dingy warehouse lights behind her seemed to melt around her head, bathing her in an ethereal light of some kind, something that made the boy’s heart flip unexpectedly and without warning.
God, she looked like an angel like this, so perfect, so heavenly.
Yet whether she resembled an angel of life or death was to be decided. Perhaps this was a sign from some unknown force, telling him that Oda Asagao would either be the beginning or the end of him.
Perhaps she would be the last thing he would see before leaving this world peacefully or perhaps she would carry him to the afterlife and into the pits of hell with her siren song and her dangerous words. He didn’t know.
He was playing with fire after all, selfish by staying by her side even though he shouldn’t have been allowed to. He was clouding her white light, binding her wings and making her fall to meet his level just because he couldn’t bear to be lonely.
How cruel he truly was, to not have the heart to set her free. It was too late now, the demon and the fallen angel, their fates had been sealed whether he liked it or not.
Reaching his fingers up, Dazai then ghosted across a strand of her falling hair before turning his head in curiosity. “Touché. Well, since you know so much let me ask you, love. What do you think is the most beautiful way to die?”
He wanted to know her answer, more than anyone before. Because he knew that she would answer honestly. She wouldn’t brush it off or disregard the meaning like everyone else.
Dying was a touchy subject it seemed, because although the boy craved it more than anything, it seemed whenever he brought up his little sad goal, no one ever gave him the answer he was looking for.
He didn’t want to be comforted or to hear that there was no beautiful way of death. No, he wanted perspective, real and true perspective. To see what constituted beauty for others, what that meant in terms of what he was searching for.
Because as much as he wished for peace and beauty in death, the boy didn’t know exactly what that meant. How strange it always was, searching for something so desperately even though he didn’t know the true extent of the meaning.
Waiting with bated breath, Dazai allowed her to silently think before the girl put a finger with a quiet and pensive hum. ““Hmmm, that’s a tough one..”
Then she closed her eyes before her lips curved into a confident beam of light. “I guess I would have to say a lovers suicide!”
And that light was blinding, mixing in with the makeshift halo behind her in order for Dazai to turn his head in confusion.He had never thought about that before. Hell, he didn’t even know the term. How curious. “Lovers suicide?”
Nodding to herself, Asa then lifted her pinky finger out in explanation. “Yeah, like a double suicide, you know? Because even if you deemed that the world was awful, you would still have to admit that there was at least one person that made the experience worth it, enough to want to follow them all the way to the afterlife.”
Then to prove her point, the girl simply reached down before interlocked Dazai’s pinky finger with her own, a small smile of her lips as the boy gazed at the sight in awestruck wonder.
Of course she would say something like that. Only Asagao could answer a question about death so hopefully and tragically captivating. Her desire to see the good, to twist the narrative into a positive one, they were extremely prevalent here.
But for once, Dazai didn’t mind it, he liked the idea of having someone to die with. The thought had never crossed his mind before, to have someone to treasure you enough to want to follow you until the very end. It sounded nice. Almost beautiful even, just like he wanted.
Testing out the words on his tongue, the boy whispered. “A double suicide..”
Nodding once, Asa pulled their interlocked pinkies towards her heart in reply. “Yeah! It’s romantically tragic in its own right, don’t you think?”
It was, it really was. In fact, it was so tragically perfect that Dazai knew he would’ve never had thought of such a thing himself. Simply because he wouldn't have allowed himself to think of something so nice and positive.
But now that it was spoken into the world, it couldn’t be forgotten. “I’ve never thought about that before. Do you really think someone would want to do that with me?”
Could it be, could someone really dedicate themselves to him to that extent, enough to give up everything, to walk hand and hand with him to the end of the line? No, that was impossible, no one wanted him, especially in that way.
Asa only shrugged her shoulders though. “You never know! Doesn’t hurt to ask.”
Then all at once, clarity seemed to flash in his eyes. “You’re right..”
That’s it, he just had to ask every woman he saw, then maybe one day he’d get lucky.
Reaching forward, Dazai then shifted his hands in order to grasp onto her wrist before meeting her eyes with a hopeful smile. “Hey Asa-chan! Do you wanna..”
Yet Asagao seemed to already know where he was going with his question, her hand immediately unlatching from his in order to playfully shove her palm into his face and push him back onto the ground. “Sorry Osu, I would do a lot of things for you but killing myself won’t bring me closer to my brother. The only death I’ll accept is one by your hand.”
Damn it, she had said that before, hadn’t she? Ah well, worth a shot.
Throwing his arms out with a child-ish whine, Dazai then pouted his lips at the rejection. “Boo, you give me such a good idea and then turn me down? That’s not very nice. I’m sad now.”
Asagao only laughed though, her tiny giggles taking up the space of his question before pointing a finger out in an offer of her own. “Well, we can’t have that. Oh, I know. How about we stop by the shop on the way home and I’ll buy you some canned crab to make up for it?”
And although it wasn’t what he wanted, her offer enticed him just as much, the boy’s eyes sparkling with pure joy in order to nod his head excitedly.
“Deal!”
——
Stepping through the door of Odasaku’s apartment, Asagao happily turned on the light, the plastic bag full of canned crab clinking together as she moved, only for Dazai to quickly take off his black mafia jacket and throw it on the ground.
And in the past couple weeks of them reuniting, the girl noticed Osamu's childish traits more and more, an action that made her strangely happy. Sure, she still wasn’t sure if he was being completely authentic but she couldn't deny that he at least looked more free when he did them.
In fact, their relationship had grown exponentially since the night Asa cared for him and took off his bandages. She was worried that by pushing that much she would’ve scared him away but it seemed to be the opposite, and for that she was grateful.
Now he came over whenever he pleased, without excuse, and without worry. She would make sure he ate and they would watch TV together and sometimes they would go out to spar like tonight. If anything, the two had definitely moved past the term strangers and into more of a friendship based relationship.
They understood each other, most of the time without words, and that was refreshing to both of them, considering no one else could do such an impossible thing. They were alike and yet so different depending on the circumstance. It was almost fascinating to think about.
She had never had that before, someone that understood so much with so little.
And where most people would call it invasive, Asagao saw his nosey and deductive attitude as a marvel. Although, she wasn’t sure if he felt the same way, considering she stepped out of boundaries before.
But those days seemed long gone as the girl turned back to Osamu only to pause when she noticed discolored tan stains on the bandages around his arms. Well, that was weird.
Reaching her hand up, Asagao then lightly touched his forearm, careful to keep her touch on the gauze as she inspected the source. “What is this?”
Although all she received was a boy-ish smile, filled with fake innocence. “Coffee?”
Almost immediately, something about his sentence seemed off, causing Asa to cock an eye with suspicion. “I didn’t even know you drank coffee..”
Then all at once, the boy nodded his head erratically, his lips moving at a mile a minute in order to give an over the top laugh. “Oh, yeah! I love it, I can’t get enough of it. That’s why I spilled some on me this morning. Oops, I’m so clumsy, aren’t I? Didn’t even notice it till now.”
Pouting his lips all at once, Dazai then whined to himself dramatically. “But now that you mention it, it feels really gross, like super uncomfortable. Asa-chan, you gotta save me! I don't know how I can go on like this..!”
His story was strange, considering she had never heard him speak about liking coffee before, nor did he ever choose that as his drink of choice. Usually it was just whiskey and any other alcohol he could get his hands on.
And what Asagao didn’t know was that she was completely right. In fact, Dazai had never touched the stuff before this morning. He didn’t love coffee, but the reason he had bathed himself in it was purposeful.
You see, ever since the first night Asagao changed his bandages, Dazai couldn’t get enough. He wanted that feeling back, the one that made him feel so safe and cared for. He couldn’t get it out of his head, and trust me, he had tried.
Which led him to taking matters into his own hands, aka finding ways to dirty his bandages so that he would have an excuse to give Asagao the next time he saw her.
At first it started with blood, making sure to purposely hurt his enemies in the most messy way possible in order to soil the white gauze, but then it moved to other things such as alcohol, and rolling around in dirt or dunking himself in nearby rivers.
And today’s plan involved coffee. He had gotten the idea when he saw one of his subordinates walk around the corner with one. So naturally, he ordered the guy to give it up in order to pour the lukewarm liquid on his arms with delightful glee.
Anything to get Asa to touch him like that again, to feel so important and special again. Was it underhanded? Possibly, but the boy knew he couldn’t just come out and ask for such an embarrassing thing.
Staying silent for a moment, he then watched as Asagao seemed to turn his wrist, examining the sight before she let him go with a smile. “I’ll go get the bandages. Meet you on the couch.”
And just like that, he had won yet again, causing the boy to practically skip to the plush cushions of the sofa, unable to hide his delight in song as he watched her go into Oda’s bedroom to receive the first aid kit. “Yay! Asa-chan is gonna help me, she’s gonna help me, yeah! Asa-chan is the best, she’s the very best, yeah!”
Once she turned the corner though, Asagao couldn’t help but close her eyes, already sensing his deceptive demeanor. No one spilled things that clumsily, especially Dazai. Which meant that it was for a purpose.
But because his actions didn’t seem self destructive, the girl chose to ignore them. It’s not like she minded changing out his bandages time and time again. In fact, she loved doing it, it made her feel closer to him.
Returning to the sofa, Asagao then placed herself beside him before placing the gauze on the table only for Dazai to immediately loosen his port mafia tie from his neck with one hand. “Lean closer, darling.”
So she did, the girl pushed her head closer to him so that he could slip off her glasses before unraveling the tie as she averted her gaze from his in silent wait.
Back in the warehouse she may have been able to look at him without her blurry barriers but now that she wasn’t distracted by the fight everything seemed way harder. She still couldn’t look at him head on like this, no matter how much she tried.
Dazai didn’t seem to mind though, his fingers only focused on securing the black tie around her eyes and into a firm knot as Asagao felt herself let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding.
So much better.
Then once her view was obstructed, Dazai couldn’t help but soften at the sight of her instant compliance each and every time.
He loved how she never protested to such a strange request, how she never judged him for not being able to do this without the blindfold. No, she knew that he needed this to continue and Dazai was grateful for that.
Once it was done, Asagao moved her fingers towards the coffee stained coverings before slowly undoing each bind as Dazai felt his breath hitch inside his throat at the emotionally intimate contact.
And even though they had done this exchange about a dozen times, each one felt like the very first. It never got easier, it never made his ears stop ringing and his skin stop shivering.
But like some psychotic masochistic man, Dazai never pulled away, his eyes always entranced with her careful and respectful moves, each calculated, each with a certain intent.
He didn’t think he’d ever get sick of it, the way she cherished him.
Because as scary as it was, her gentle non judgemental fingers gave him a sense of calm along with the chaos. They terrified him and yet they always soothed him in every kind of mitch matched way.
They reached down to the deepest part of his soul, the one he didn’t know existed and embraced it in a warm and welcoming hug. And though the warmth was uncomfortable and foreign, he didn’t outright hate it anymore.
In fact it was quite the opposite, the boy wanted to run to it, he wanted to jump head first into that dangerous and vulnerable place and never return. He was addicted in every possible way, addicted to the idea of being held by her forever.
This was all her fault, how could she? Making him experience such a life changing feeling, he knew this would happen, he knew he wouldn’t have been able to resist this once he had it. How dare she, how dare she make him feel such weak and fragile emotions again.
How dare she coax him into thinking he deserved such a wonderful experience like this?
Those thoughts made him want to be protected by her hands forever, and with the low murmur of the TV in the background and the sickeningly sweet sound of Asagao’s hum to break through the noise, Osamu did feel exactly that.
Protected.
Slowly and without words, Asagao then hummed to herself in order to wrap the fresh clean bandages around his arms before securing the sight and pulling down her blindfold. “Do you feel better now?”
He simply nodded, still in a daze as Asagao smiled softly in return before replacing her glasses. “Good, I’m glad.”
A soft silence appeared then as the two kids allowed it to fill the room in order to turn their attention to the screen that was playing the latest anime episode of the show that they had been interested in lately.
This was nice, just being with him, relaxing without a care in the world. It made the foreign walls of her brother’s apartment feel more personal and belonging. Hopefully it was the same for Osamu also.
Just then, the sounds from the TV snapped her back to reality, watching as the the main character clapped excitedly as the room around her revealed her friends and family, all of them wishing her a happy birthday in joyish surprise. Aw, how cute. They planned all that out for her.
The sight couldn’t help make Asagao pause though, realizing something almost immediately. “Hey, Samu. Now that I think about it, when is your birthday? My brother never said in his letters and I’ve always been curious.”
Yet that’s when she watched Dazai pause, his voice rather dead and monotone, as if he was mentally waving the question away. “Oh, it was five months ago.”
Feeling her face fell in horror, Asa shook her head in denial. “W-Wait..I missed it..?”
No, that couldn’t be. That meant that during the time they were apart he celebrated his birthday by himself? How sad. No one even knew and he just let it pass like nothing, didn’t he?
Wait. That meant that Dazai was now sixteen, didn't it? She didn’t even realize.
It didn’t matter that he never mentioned it until now, how could possibly let such a thing pass so quietly without a word? Now she felt awful. “Oh no, I’m so sorry Samu! What kind of fake girlfriend am I? I didn’t even say happy birthday to you. What is wrong with me, I should've asked sooner, I should’ve..”
Yet the boy only cut her off though, his tone clearly dismissive. “Don’t worry about it. Celebrating life is stupid anyways.”
But how could she not worry about it? That was an impossible task, one that she knew she couldn't complete “B-But..I..”
Dazai only pushed a finger to her lips though, stopping any sense of self hatred she was about to utter before shaking his head.“I already said don’t worry your pretty little head, love. Now, stop that frown or else you’ll turn ugly like Chuuya.”
Then the boy simply smiled before flopping his head onto her lap comfortably in order to turn towards the TV and ignore the conversation completely. “Now, shush, pillows aren’t supposed to be noisy.”
And when the air turned silent once more, it was far more solemn as Asagao absently moved her hand to his hair with an unsatisfied sigh.
But for Dazai, the topic had already left his mind as the soothing feeling of her hand on his hair caused his eyes to grow heavier and heavier with bliss, immediately getting lost in the soft caresses and lulling touch.
How could he think about anything when her magic had already utterly captivated him?
Feeling Osamu’s head sink further into the safety of her lap, Asagao felt her eyes soften at the sleeping boy before thinking back to her previous question.
And though Dazai seemed to forget about it, she could not, his sad little words consuming her mind all at once.
Celebrating life is stupid anyways
Closing her eyes with dissatisfaction, Asagao then shook her head, not liking the implications of his words as she wished to change them even so.
Finally got my bsd Storm Bringer book in the mail and I will not apologize for the absolute menace I will regarding my future writing and inevitable obsession once I finish it.
Chapter 12: "The Scariest Thing Is To Be Perceived"
(I missed an update here so now you get two chapters! They are both long though so hopefully it's some good food for you all. I'm really proud of them.)
Summary: Dazai's greatest fear is for someone to see through his defenses and Oda's sister does just that. What he revels as a marvel towards others becomes his own worst nightmare when turned on himself.
Warning: pm! fifteen year old dazai, dazai self destructing, odasaku death mentions, fluff to angst and then back to fluff, manipulative behavior from both sides, dazai is a simp in the second half, talks of suicide. I gave Oda's sister a name but you can imagine it as y/n.
(This is chapter eleven and twelve of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)
Three Part Intro Here: (just cause the first chapter is so long)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Master List Here
A03 Version Here:
Word count: 16k total (Told you it was long. Enjoy the ride hehe)
One Year Ago
Silently opening up the looming door in front of her face, fourteen year old Asagao slipped inside the darkened space before closing the surface and leaning her back against the wood with distant eyes.
And though she tried not to, a small shaky sigh couldn’t help but escape her lips in order to think back to the confrontation just moments ago. She blew it again, of course she did. That’s always what happened, why was she expecting anything different?
It started innocently enough, the girl noticing when one of the girls in her class was strangely silent the entire day.
So naturally, when class was over she pulled her aside and asked her what was wrong. Asa just wanted to help, honest. She wanted to wipe that sad look from her classmates face, that was her intention. That was always the intention.
She never wanted to hurt her.
Yet the moment the girl shut down, Asa pushed, she pushed herself to figure out just what was hurting her by commenting on her appearance and cadence of speech.
They were dirty and unkept, like they hadn’t been washed in weeks and soon enough Asagao had concluded that her father had stolen all of their families money and ran away leaving them broke and hungry.
So naturally, she told the girl her findings.
Asa’s assumptions were correct of course, but the girl didn’t know the hurt that she had unknowingly caused, her isolated and unique upbringing in the hellhound program leaving gaps in her learning of social cues and understanding of sensitive topics.
No, Oda’s sister only saw logic, analyzing the situation like she had always been trained to do, what she had been damaged to do without a second thought. It was a character flaw, one that Asa didn’t even realize was there.
But that came at a cost, it always did.
Because a moment later, she watched as the girl’s face flushed with a type of embarrassment in order to shove Asa as hard as she possibly could in order for the red haired girl to spot tears in her classmates eyes.
But Asa didn’t understand the response. Why were there tears? Asagao was right in every possible manner. She had guessed her problem. Isn’t that what she wanted, for someone to figure her out so that she wouldn’t be so lonely? So that Asa could help her?
These were all thoughts that crossed her mind before she felt her body collide with her ground as her glasses slipped from her eyes at the same time, the sound clattering with haunting familiarity only for the girl to shriek and jump back with fear at the sight of her scary and hollow expression.
Then very familiar words appeared in the air, the girl calling her the usual insults Asa was used to before getting her other friends to do the same. It was like she was some sort of freak show, some sort of sideshow attraction and oddity that didn’t belong.
She didn’t belong, not with them. She knew that. She had lost her chance the moment her captives molded her into their own sick design. Normal, there was no hope for that now.
One look at that was plain to see to everyone around, even her.
So much so, the girl didn’t object, simply crawling back on her knees before leaving the whispers and murmurs behind in order to retreat back to her dorm room silently.
And that’s what brought her here, Asagao slowly making her way over to her bed before leaning down in order to take out a small white shoe box and place it on her mattress with extreme care.
Undoing the lid ever so slowly, Oda’s sister then slipped her hand inside before carefully taking out the top note in order to read its contents just like she had done a million times before.
It was a ritual, something she did, something she had to read every once in a while or else she knew she’d unravel completely.
----
Today, I met a boy. He showed up right outside my apartment covered in blood so I brought him in. And there is something about him, something familiar..
I think his world spins as fast as yours.
----
Pushing down another shaky breath of uncertainty, Asagao then curled onto the mattress before pushing her body even further into a ball of herself and clutching the note to her heart for dear life.
Dazai Osamu.
She didn’t know him, he didn’t know her and yet her brother's words brought a sense of hope, one that she clung to over and over again. Just reading the mere sentences caused her nerves to soften and her body to relax with a sense of calm she was sure that boy didn’t even know he was capable of.
The power this mystery boy had, it wrapped her in a chokehold each and every time. Yes, those kids didn’t understand, they didn’t accept her but she knew that somewhere out there, this boy could. Maybe he could understand it all, maybe he even had the same thoughts as well.
A shared mind, a shared experience. Connected by thoughts, how nice that sounded.
Did he also wish to be normal? Did he also say the wrong things sometimes? Did he also feel alone and isolated? Did he get as sad as her? Did he also get misunderstood and beaten down like she had been today?
Asagao didn’t know for certain but just the idea of their shared experience was enough to make her close her eyes, clutching onto the letter between her fingers for dear life like a vice and pray that it might be true.
And although she knew she was glorifying a stranger, it didn’t stop her from attaching herself to him even so. Because if her big brother had chosen to keep that kid around, then that also meant that there was a chance that Oda didn’t absolutely despise someone like her either.
A million miles away and yet the knowledge of Osamu’s existence was enough to comfort her in a way he would never know. Her lifeline, her connection, her validation through a string of words and thoughts..
And suddenly just the mere existence of Dazai Osamu was enough to make everything seem almost okay again.
-----
Present
Groaning through her heavy lidded eyes, Asagao yawned in order for a sharp headache to flash across her temple without permission. It felt like she had been hit with a hundred bricks and an oncoming truck at the same time. But that was the price for drinking so heavily she supposed. The mornings were never easy.
She then attempted to lift her hand to the source only for Asa to realize that couldn't move her arms or her legs in the slightest before her face dropped with realization. Oh, that's right. Osamu rolled her up into human sushi last night and left her there.
Now how was she gonna get out of this one?
Wiggling around like a worm on the mattress, Asa then tried to undo her bonds with no avail only for her to groan in defeat. Well that wasn’t going to work. Maybe she just needed to put some more power behind it? Yeah, that could work
She then tried again, Asa purposely flopping her body, this time looking like a fish out of water in order to edge closer to the bed as she gasped in success. “Ha ha! Yes, I’m so smart! Take that Osamu.”
Grinning wildly, her victory was short lived as she felt her constricted body start to slide further and further off the bed with no traction to keep her in place. “W-Wait, no no no n-..”
Asagao then watched helplessly as her entire body rolled off the highrise bed, slamming her body rather ungracefully into the hardwood floor face first with a heavy suppressed painful groan.
Damn it, spoke too soon.
The hit didn’t help her headache, the dull stabbing sensation mixing with her smushed face before she finally felt her arms move under the blankets. Seemed like the fall had loosened the restrictive cage after all.
Trying her wiggling technique again, Asa then pulled her body from the blanket in order to hop up with her hands straight up in the air in victory. Well, not what she originally planned but the result was the same! Just forget that first part.
Her quick movements caused her temple to scream in reply though, Asa hissing in order to push her fingers to the call. Alright, first things first, gotta fix this annoying headache.
Moving over to the connected bathroom, the girl then flipped open the cabinet before picking out a white bottle of pain pills in order to shake the jar with a smile. She knew she could count on a suicide enthusiast to have pain medicine. As expected.
She then took a labeled dosage before stepping out of the bedroom only to find the entire apartment empty, just like last night. Huh, Osamu must’ve had important executive business to attend to this morning.
Ah well, maybe it was better he didn’t see her embarrassing falling on her face display .
Not knowing what to do with her time, Asagao then moved over to the kitchen in order to start opening the cabinets in silent thought. Since Osu was out she should surprise him with breakfast. It was the least she could do since he allowed her to stay the night so graciously.
Yet a moment later, Asa felt her face drop at the sight before her.
Every single cabinet and drawer was completely empty, even the fridge. But didn’t Osu eat? He had to, right? Everyone needed to eat to survive. It was just a fact.
Although that’s when Asa recalled a couple of Oda’s letters. Her brother said that sometimes he had to force the boy to sit down to eat. But was Osamu still like that? Did he still have an unhealthy relationship with food? He seemed fine eating her curry three weeks ago.
No, this wouldn’t do. She couldn’t let him starve. Oda wouldn’t have wanted that and since he isn’t here anymore then it was up to Asa to fill that spot. Otherwise, she wasn’t sure if Osu would ever really eat again. And that worried her to no end.
But what was she going to make with no food?
Humming to herself in silent thought, Asagao then wrote down a list of ingredients on a small sticky note before opening the door to his apartment only to be met with the same black suited subordinates that “helped” her last night.
She didn’t expect that. “Oh! Hello boys. You assigned to watch me again?”
They simply nodded in return only for Asa to hold up the small note in her fingers. “Sooo, I’m guessing leaving to go to the store isn’t something you’re gonna allow, huh?”
Once again, the subordinates only shook their heads, the burly man crossing his arms in silent challenge. “It wouldn’t be advised no.”
Pouting her lips in annoyance for their shut down, Asagao then closed her eyes before using her little tricks to her advantage. Manipulating these guys twice made her feel kinda scummy but this was the only way she was going to get what she wanted.
And she was going to get it, one way or another.
Batting her eyes in fake innocence, Asa hummed. “What a shame, whatever will I do? Our executive clearly stated that he wanted pancakes this morning when he got back. If I tell him that you guys stopped me from completing his wish, I bet he’ll be really angry and want to take it out on someone. I pray what kind of poor soul will face his wrath.”
They seemed to register what she was implying right away. Yes, it was a lie that Osamu asked for breakfast but these guys didn’t need to know that. They just needed to believe that they would be punished for not following through. Sorry, Osu. I’m using your name again. But it’s for a good cause so please forgive me.
And for a moment, they seemed skeptical about the odd request from one of the most feared men in Yokohama. That didn’t sound like Dazai. “The boss said he wanted pancakes?”
Asa didn’t falter though, her shoulders shrugging carelessly. “Mhmm. He said he had a craving. You can fact check me if you want and ask him yourself but I don’t think you’ll have that much time to do so. What if Dazai comes back before then? Then we’ll all be in trouble.”
She used his last name so smoothly and yet it still felt wrong to say it. Asa hated referring to Osu as Dazai, especially because it broke the foolish illusion in her mind that the two were closer than they appeared. Calling him Osamu made her feel happier, like they weren’t actually strangers.
But in this instance she had to say it to prove a point, to use the title in a sense of looming dread for these sorry scared subordinates. The fact was, Dazai’s last name held power, especially in the port mafia. It was a name that enemies crumbled to and hid for time and time again. And she knew that, so she used it to her advantage.
Besides, she also knew they were too dumb and frazzled to actually go and ask Osu the truth. That was another level of risk and it took longer than just agreeing to her silly idea. Therefore, the odds were stacked heavily on her side.
Now for them to just take the bait.
Counting the seconds in her mind, Asagao then slowly turned around from the men in order to pretend to go back inside the apartment only for her lips to curve upwards at their worried voices. “What kind?”
Not missing a beat, she then quickly turned around before lifting up the small note between her fingers with a fake exaggerated gasp, almost like she had pulled a rabbit from a hat. “Oh, would you look at that? It’s your lucky day, I already made a list! And since I can’t leave this place that means you boys are gonna have the honor of doing the shopping for me! Don’t worry though, it will be a team effort in the end. You get the supplies and I’ll make the pancakes. That way Dazai will be satisfied and we both win. Sound good?”
A team effort sure, but they clearly got the short end of the stick by having to be her lackeys. That was the reality but Asa sugar coated it so well that the men didn’t even notice it, their eyes frantic to please their executive as fast as possible.
Lifting their hands out for the note, Asa passed it happily, making them believe that they had come to the decision themselves even though she had carefully orchestrated the whole thing.
Suckers.
---------
The night was a blur as Dazai found himself walking the streets of Yokohama until the sun lazily appeared from behind the nearby buildings. Sleep wasn’t something that graced the boy normally, and it had gotten worse since Odasaku’s death.
Simply because every time he closed his eyes, he found himself back reliving that horrible nightmare over and over again. It was like his mind was tormenting him, not letting him forget about the reality of loss for even a second.
But insomnia brought its own torture as well, not allowing him to rest his ever moving and muttered thoughts inside his head in the slightest. No moments of quiet were allowed, even while still being awake.
But the feeling had gotten usual, normal even for the boy, his feet finding himself back at the door of his apartment before silently turning the key into the lock. At least his inability to sleep got him away from Asa’s temptingly dangerous offer to get closer.
No, he had already decided to ignore that, Dazai knowing very well that if he even lingered on such a thing for a moment then his selfish and greedy nature would destroy everything he had just built between them.
Those walls need to stay up, for both his and her safety.
Opening the door slowly, Dazai was then suddenly hit with a strange new aroma, the smell sickeningly sweet and flavorful as he moved further into the space. But what could that be? He didn’t remember his place smelling like this when he left last night.
Yet his questions were soon answered as he turned the corner only to find Asagao’s back to him, her lips humming in a happy little melody as she poured what looked to be a bowl full of batter on a pan.
Just what was this crazy girl doing now? He thought she would still be wrapped up like a mummy when he got home. Then again, the girl was insanely clever, of course she had gotten free without his help.
Crossing his arms against the doorframe, the smallest sound seemed to alert her attention, Asa’s curious expression turning around only for her face to light up with that same goofy and over the top manner as always had towards him. “Osu, you’re back! And just in time. Everything is almost ready.”
And god, he’d be lying if he said that stupid little smile didn’t make his stomach toss and turn in all the wrong ways. Even after pinning her down and bleeding his evils to her last night she was still looking at him the very same.
What an idiot she was, and what an idiot he was for falling for it again.
Lowering his eyes in hidden shame for himself, Dazai then paused when he saw that she was holding a plate in her hand, the scent of freshly made pancakes assaulting his senses all at once without permission.
Hold on, she made breakfast? No one had ever done that before. Odasaku wasn’t a breakfast kind of guy and the women he slept with never held the desire to do something so personal before. But why? Why did she do it?
He got his answer a second later, the girl happily skipping over to the massive empty table to their left in order to place the pillow-y items on the surface. “I wanted to thank you for letting me stay over last night so I made these for you. I hope you like them.”
For him.
She made them for him. Well of course she did, that seemed to be her only motivation for anything. And although he should’ve guessed that, Dazai didn’t. Almost like he still couldn’t comprehend someone going out of their way for someone like him.
The idea was foreign and strange. No one did things so selflessly, not in his experience.
But to say that Asa had an ulterior motive would be wrong, knowing that wasn’t the case either. She simply did things out of the goodness of her heart, and that was a concept the mafioso wasn’t familiar with.
She didn’t need to thank him for doing a bare minimum.
So much so, the boy remained quiet, simply slipping into the open chair before looking at the coaxing sight immediately. She was mocking him, he just knew it. Unknowingly, but that didn’t change the fact that this uncomfortable warmth wasn’t something he could have.
The mundane, the simple casual life. It wasn’t for him.
But then why did it make him feel so strange? Why did it twist around him and make him want to run away? It was like he had just slipped into a warm bath, the feeling coating his skin and making him jump out before he drowned in it forever.
No, he needed to shut it down.
Asa on the other hand was oblivious to such things, her hands happily setting the table before taking her place across from him. It was times like this she was grateful for learning to cook as a kid. Now she could treat him the kind of meal he deserved.
Picking up one of the pancakes with her fork, Asagao plopped the item onto her plate before forcing herself to speak out from the silence. “I bet you’re wondering how I’m such a good cook? Well, I’ll tell you. You see, I didn’t really get along with the kids back home and I didn’t want to ruin their meals by them having to see me so I learned to cook for myself. That way everyone was happy.”
The memory was sad but Asa forced herself not to linger on it. Yeah, the kids she met were mean and called her names but it got her to step out of her comfort zone and learn new things like this. So it couldn’t have been all bad, right?
Humming to herself, she then chuckled before shoving a fork full of food into her mouth with a simple shrug. “But then again, I’m happy that happened cause now I can eat with you and cook all your favorite things!”
But what Osamu didn’t know was that she had initially started cooking because of those letters, because of the way Oda had mentioned that Dazai had trouble with eating.
She guessed that in some crazy way she wanted to help him, to repay the favor of his existence by learning to make food that he would like, even if she wasn’t sure he would ever taste them.
And though her brother never said what types of things Osamu ended up liking, that just gave her even more motivation to learn as many recipes as possible.
But what do you know? She had gotten her wish, in a fucked up way. She had lost her brother in the process but now she was sitting across from Osu, able to put her skills to good use just like she had always intended.
It was bittersweet but Asa couldn’t help but be grateful for the latter.
Kicking her legs under the table in response, Asa then swallowed the piece of food before she finally heard Osu’s voice, except it somehow turned out to be much colder than she imagined. “You don’t have to worry about Ango anymore.”
The whiplash was sudden, causing her head to snap back to his with shock and confusion. Hold on, what did he just say? Ango wasn’t going to come after her anymore? No, it couldn’t be. That guy was stubborn.
And looking at him now, the boy still hadn’t looked up from the single pancake in front of him, almost like he was imagining that they were mocking him and calling him names silently.
But what had pancakes ever done to him to react this way? Because right now he was looking at them like they were his worst enemy.
That was besides the point though, the girl focusing on his words more than anything.“W-Wait, why? Did something happen?”
Dazai replied distantly, almost like he was distracted by something. “I took care of it. You can stay in Yokohama. He won’t try to send you back anymore.”
Won’t try to send her back? Well, that was surprising. Asa wondered how he managed it, or if Ango was even still alive anymore? To be honest she wouldn’t have cared either way considering she didn’t know the man but he was her brother’s friend. It would be unfortunate if he had died.
But the look on Osu’s face wasn’t one of murder so she let that theory go. Instead, the girl simply rested her hands in her lap, unsure how to respond to such big news. “O-Oh..thank you…”
Now she could stay in Yokohama and with Osamu. Was that what he was trying to get at, that he wanted her to still be around him? What about her offer last night, was this the answer to that also?
Yet before she had a chance to ask, Osu spoke again, like he was giving an order. “When you’re done eating I’ll call my men and you’ll go back with them.”
His voice was still cold and distant, causing Asa to put her fork down in concern. What was going on? He didn’t act like this last night. It was like he was treating her like another subordinate, giving instructions without a care in the world.
Right now he wasn’t her Osamu, he was Dazai, the mafia executive.
It was a shift, a change that made her fingers tightened around the hem of her skirt before forcing herself to bite her tongue and keep her words in her mouth. The last thing she wanted was to push and make him upset.
But even still, she could sense it immediately, the walls that had been put up, the distance in his voice so sudden it caught her off guard. What was this distance, and why had he constructed it like some sort of defense mechanism?
Although that’s when she watched him slowly stand up from his seat, ignoring the freshly made pancake in front of him only for the girl to finally call out. “What about you?”
She wasn’t expecting anything, but Asa would be lying to say that she wasn’t sad that their little date had finally come to an end. Everything was just so wonderful, she didn’t want her beautiful carriage to turn back into a pumpkin. Maybe if she asked, the magic could continue a little longer.
And maybe those walls could come down also.
Yet she was sorely mistaken when Osu simply scoffed at her concern, his hands lifted out in mocking reply. “Work, sweetheart. What? Were you expecting me to want me to walk you back? Are you really that needy that you can’t be without me for ten seconds? What a clingy little puppy you are, Asa-chan.”
And just like that, he disappeared into his bedroom, closing the door in order to hide himself from her as Asagao simply dropped her head down to look at his pancakes with a frown.
He didn’t even touch them.
Well, she should’ve expected that, Oda did say he didn’t like to eat sometimes so she shouldn't have taken it personally. And yet for some reason, Asa still did, her heart twisting with rejection in order to hang her head with sadness.
Sighing to herself, the girl then pulled out her phone before opening her notes app and crossing off the first sentence on the top, the one she had written almost a year ago.
Things Osamu might like to eat: pancakes
--------
Osamu’s men dropped her off in front of her brother’s apartment, leaving her alone on the streets as she felt herself recall back to the embarrassing display just moments ago. He didn’t even see her off, but she guessed he was probably just really busy with executive stuff again.
And even if it wasn’t the case, Asa knew he didn’t have the obligation to walk her to the car either. It wasn’t like they were actually boyfriend and girlfriend. Osu didn’t do “mushy”, she already knew that. Just him allowing her to stay the night should’ve been enough.
Yet Asagao hated that she still wanted more, her selfish and greedy little heart unable to get their perfect date out of her head no matter how hard she tried. Ugh, damn it! Pull it together, Asa! He’s just doing what we said in the agreement. Don’t get disappointed.
Shaking the thought from her head, she then slapped her cheeks roughly in order to finally make her way up the steps to Oda’s place only to see a vague shadow moving in the corner of her vision.
And when she heard his voice, her distaste didn’t lessen at all. “Asagao.”
Already feeling her throat groan at his presence, Asa glanced behind her in order to just barely make out the suited government agent just a couple feet away. Damn it, Osu said he wasn’t going to bother her anymore. Was that a lie, or just a miscalculation?
Cause right now she felt pretty bothered.
Getting ready to use her ability and flee, she paused when Ango’s frantic tone called back to her. “Don’t! Just..please..listen to me for a second. I’m not going to drag you back. I promise.”
Not fully believing him, Asa still kept her guard up, turning her body around to finally face him with a heavy weighed sigh. “What do you want, Ango? You want to get a couple more jabs in? Tell me how disappointed my brother would be for what I’m doing? Go ahead.”
Her words were sharp, causing Ango to physically flitch at the brutality of them all before he hung his head with a broken whisper. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to get that far. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was angry and I took it out on you. Odasaku was my best friend. What I said..I just wanted to make sure you were safe.”
She knew that, she knew that was his intention but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. Hearing those truths firsthand, shoving Oda’s feelings in her face had brought a sense of guilt she couldn’t hide. Ango was right after all, she was sure her brother wouldn’t have approved of her being in Yokohama, and yet she did it anyway.
Some little sister she was, right? Going against her brother's wishes just because she knew he couldn’t stop her from the dead. How fucked up of her to use such a sad loophole to her benefit.
Not wanting to think about it anymore, Asa then closed her eyes before willing the horrible feelings from her head in order to cross her arms. “Is that all you have to say?”
And she hoped that was it, that Ango was done with his internal torture because the girl didn’t know how much more she could take of his hard truths. She didn’t want to hear them, to face the disappointment.
Yet that’s when Ango paused before reaching into the bag by his side in order to pull out a large stack of papers, the white colored pages bounded by one staple. “No. I wanted to give you this.”
Not understanding, Asa frowned. “What is it?”
Still holding the pages between his fingers, Ango spoke towards the ground, his voice plain and serious. “I know about your past, Asagao. I know that you and Oda were taken in by an organization for assassins. I know that you killed like a rabid animal, following whatever orders they assigned. A prodigy, a beast, a tool. You outshone everyone in the program, so much so that there were bidding wars on who would hold your lease in the end.”
Why was he telling her this? She already knew all that shit. She had lived it after all. So why was he bringing up such unpleasant memories again?
Shaking her head, Asa glared back. “So you know my life, what about it?”
Ango only sighed though, obviously annoyed that she wasn’t understanding where he was going. “Oda kept you away from this for a reason, Asagao. He knew that if you ever returned to enemy hands then the results would be catastrophic.”
Crossing her arms over her chest once more, she nodded in response. He was rehashing things again. “Because I'm a hellhound, I know.”
Ango only pushed his glasses up with frustration. “No, you don’t get it..”
Snapping his head up, the agent then extended the pages to her, his voice chilling her entire soul. “You aren’t just a hellhound, you’re the only hellhound left in existence .”
What?
Almost immediately, Asagao felt her eyes widen in shock, her blood running cold. What did he just say? No, that couldn't be. The hellhounds were the organization's greatest accomplishment, it’s what got them on the map. There were hundreds of people like her, so many faces that went through the same grueling hell she did.
Shakily taking the report between her fingers, Asa forced herself to weigh them in her hands, even as her skin started to grow numb. “W-What? What does that mean?”
Ango answered immediately, his eyes then leaving hers.“The entire organization, the hellhound program, it no longer exists.”
What? No, there was no way. He was lying, The organization that Oda and her worked for was massive, it couldn’t just be gone. That was impossible.
So much so, the girl spoke her fear into the air. “That can’t be possible, what happened to it then?”
His answer was immediate, one simple word leaving her stunned. “Odasaku.”
Not allowing her to process the name, Ango then continued a second later, his voice clear with emotion. “Your big brother dismantled the entire organization for you. He killed everyone involved and erased the tracks so that no one could ever connect you to the underworld. The operation was so big that everyone thought he had help but that wasn’t the case. He did it all by himself, at the age of just fifteen.”
Sucking in a heavy breath, the agent finished softly. “All so you could be free..”
A heavy silence appeared then as Asagao tried to process what he was saying. Her brother had eliminated everyone in that organization, he had taken down the entire hellhound program and buried it just so no one would ever know she was alive? He did all of that, her brother, the man she never knew, he risked everything for her like that?
Just the idea brought tears to her eyes, her metaphorical fingers reaching out and finally finding someone to hold onto after so many long horrible years.
Why didn’t she know that before? Why didn’t he just tell her in those letters? Fuck, she thought he hated her all these years but really he was doing this? Asa always thought that Oda just hid her and then took her place. She didn’t know he had gone so far beyond that just for her sake.
And seeing her falter was something that pained Ango the most. The way she was searching his face for lies, for any sort of deception broke his heart into two. One look from her face and it was obvious to tell that she couldn’t believe him, that she was afraid to.
That is until the man reached forward in order to tap the stack of papers in her hands, urging her to look. “Please, don’t ever doubt his love for you, Asagao. Oda adored his little sister more than anything; It was never resentment. He wanted to give you everything, even what he could never have, and if you can’t believe that then look at the facts in front of you. Words don't lie.”
It hurt him to see her like this, knowing that Oda had never intended his little sister to be so wary. When she told him all her assumptions, the things that she had been fearful of her entire life, Ango knew he had to fix them, to make her see that her big brother truly did care for her, in more ways than she would ever know.
And although she couldn’t ever talk to her brother about it, he hoped this tangible proof was enough to finally put her heart at ease once and for all.
But what he didn’t know was that his small gesture had crashed open the flood gates that she had always tried to keep closed. And even though she told herself that Ango was lying for her sake, the words on the page and the record of that night appeared right in front of her face with painstaking reality.
Could it be? Oda never hated her? Not even once? Osamu’s stories and Ango’s reports were all true. God, the feeling was so overwhelming, Asa felt like she could crumble on her knees sob in relief. It was like a weight had suddenly lifted off her shoulders and the girl didn’t know what to do with it.
So much so, Asa then turned her teary eyes up to look at the agent before her lips began to quiver in response, her emotions screaming to be let out. “A-Ango…”
She thought he was a bad guy for trying to pull her away from this but perhaps that wasn’t the case after all. He had just given her the very thing she wanted most, and that meant everything to her.
Seeing her race forward, Ango’s eyes then widened as Oda’s sister wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face into his suit jacket with a messy hug as the man stumbled backwards in shock. “H-Hey..”
She only responded by grasping even tighter as his eyes fell at the feeling of her small shaky uncertain arms holding onto him for dear life. He recognized it immediately. This was the hold of a child, a scared, terrified child that needed comfort more than anything else in the world.
And although Ango knew about the dark and bloody past that she lived, right now it was impossible to tell, the man placing an awkward hand to her head before validating her feelings. “Alright alright..it’s okay..you’re welcome..”
The girl only squeezed him in response, not trusting her own voice as the agent continued. “I won’t try to send you back anymore but I want you to be aware of the risks. If not for you then for Oda. Staying in Yokohama will always be dangerous for you. Don’t let this place drag you back and ruin Odasaku’s work. Please, I wouldn’t be able to bear it..”
All this time, Asa realized that she had been truly blind to the evil that her brother had left her behind for. Because if the underworld found out that a professionally trained hellhound was still alive, then the price on her head would be far more lethal than ever before.
She was a rarity now, a one of a kind gem that even the most twisted of members would kill for. That’s why her brother had tried to get her out of Yokohama, because coming back would mean facing a minefield of traps.
But even now, Asagao couldn’t get herself to walk away. Yes, it was dangerous, yes that just by associating her with Osamu she was already playing with fire and almost getting burned. But either way, she wanted to stay, she needed to, in order to have the last remaining tie to Oda.
Osamu, she couldn’t leave him. She couldn’t go back to being lonely again now that she had experienced how wonderful he was, how she accepted her. No, Asa knew she was already in far too deep to ever go back to how things were before.
Shaking her head against his chest, Asa then finally pulled away from Ango, her voice serious and final for her choice. “I won’t..I won’t ruin it..”
And this time, the man didn’t scold her for wanting to stay, his eyes falling with acceptance in order to nod with relief. At least she was aware of the risks now. His friend's sacrifice wouldn’t be for nothing “Thank you.”
Although that’s when another bandaged presence seemed to pop into his mind, the agent pausing for a moment before trying to tread lightly on the subject. “And the same thing goes for Dazai, please be careful of him also.”
Because if there was one thing he knew, it was that Dazai was connected to the port mafia, which meant that Asa was now closer than ever to the thing Oda had tried to save her from.
And although he wanted to believe that his old friend had turned over a new leaf, and wanted to keep her safe from Mori, he was still skeptical.
Dazai’s loyalty to Odasaku was noticeable but Ango still didn’t trust that he wouldn’t unknowingly ruin Asa in the process of his own selfish desires. The truth was, the biggest threat for her right now was the bandaged boy she was so attached to.
Asa only frowned though, distaste covering her past relief. “I don’t need to, Osu has only ever been nice to me.”
She hated that Ango looked at Osu like a monster, like some sort of evil she needed to watch out for. Sure, he wasn’t a great man but he also wasn’t completely bad either.
He had given her so much already. He had shown her hope and a connection to her brother she had never thought possible.
Ango still didn’t seem convinced though, his words sharp. “Maybe for now, but that boy is an enigma. He will always do what benefits him and is too broken to care about the destruction in his wake. Don’t let him destroy you too.”
And perhaps he wouldn't do it on purpose but Ango knew the chaotic energy that resisted in that boy’s soul. It was so easy to get caught up in the tornado of it all, to be struck by his nearby lightning if you got too close.
Groaning to herself, Asa then shrugged her shoulders in response. “There is nothing to destroy. Our relationship is in name only.”
That was the fact about them that Ango seemed to be forgetting. Osamu and her, they weren’t friends, even though she hoped that could be the case. But whatever storm or disaster he was talking about was irreverent to her.
They were using each other for their own wishes, that’s all it was. They weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, they weren’t connected in any sort of way that would cause destruction. It was a surface level thing.
Nodding back in approval, the tense expression on his face then seemed to dissipate, leaving only relief. “Good, keep it that way. Otherwise you’ll be added to the long list of people he’s hurt.”
And that was the last thing Ango wanted for her. She didn’t deserve to be caught up with a suicidal mess like Dazai. Surface level was fine, but the man knew that anything more than that would only bring pain in the end.
That boy didn’t know how to care for another person. Hell, he didn’t even know how to care for himself, and if Asagao got in the middle of that then the only one that would end up hurt would be her, and he would not let that happen.
Just as long as they kept their distance, just as long as Asagao never falls for his deceptive tricks or seduction. Just as long as she never actually falls in love with him, then it would be fine. He could live with their relationship.
Reaching his hand forward, Ango then placed his hand back onto her head before speaking softly. “If anything happens, come find me. I don’t care what Dazai wants, if you are put in danger in any capacity then I will fight the entire port mafia to make sure you’re safe.”
He meant every word, knowing that the moment Dazai hurt her, he would not hesitate to break this thing entirely. It’s what Odasaku would’ve done, and since he wasn’t alive now it was up to Ango to take the position.
And he would, without fail, make sure that his best friend's wish stayed granted.
-----------
The next time Asagao saw Osamu was two weeks later, the girl happily opening the door only for him to casually stroll in with a sly smile. “Little eager today, aren’t we Asa-chan?”
And it was hard to deny that, knowing that the girl had been waiting for him to show up again so they could spend more time with each other. Just seeing him here gave her that same joy that he always seemed to bring.
Nodding once, the girl beamed. “Sorry, I’m just excited to see you. It's been awhile.”
Moving over to their usual seats, the girl then took out the white shoe box that held her brother’s letters before taking out the top entry in order to slide it over to Osu silently.
The boy took in the words immediately, handling the paper with just as much care as he always did before carefully folding the surface as gently as possible. And though he didn’t speak about it, it was obvious to tell that he cherished the letter more than anything in the entire world.
Closing his eyes, Dazai then slipped into one his usual stories about Odasaku, a wistful look in his eyes. “Hey Asa-chan, you wanna know how Odasaku and I met in the first place?”
The girl nodded immediately, her eyes glued to his. “Oda’s letters said something about finding you outside covered in blood. Is there more to it?”
She partly wondered why he decided to share his particular story now. Perhaps he was just feeling sentimental about it. Not that she minded though, anything Osamu gave her about Oda was a gift.
Seeing the light practically sparkle in his eyes at her eager response, Dazai then leaned forward on his knees before gasping in child-like glee. “Oh yeah, lots more! That guy chained me to a bedpost for weeks so I wouldn't escape and then used his ability to swindle me out of all the port mafia’s secrets. It was so unfair and he knew it, weaponizing his future skill against me. So mean.”
The boy then pouted his lips at the memory causing Asagao to giggle under her breath. She was happy to see him this way, it seemed like that wall he had built between them wasn’t here right now and he was allowing his kid-ish nature to seep out.
Perhaps without permission, but Asa was grateful for it even so. It made her feel closer to him, just like that night they had spent together at Bar Lupin. What was she so worried about before? He seemed okay now.
Raising an eye, the girl poked herself into the conversation. “He swindled you?”
Groaning in exasperation, Osu then fell backwards before flopping his bandage filled arms onto the table. “Yeah! That guy was shadier then you would think. He knew I didn’t have a chance with that ability of his. Odasaku was so sneaky sometimes.”
Asa wondered what that looked like. Did her brother have the same kind of manipulative traits that she had? Because from what Osu described it sure sounded like it. Huh, she always thought she was the odd duck in their family but perhaps not.
Osu then carried on with this story, throwing his arms up in the air with a slight whine. “I mean, I tried for so long to get him to be sick of me and let me go but nothing worked! Honestly, it was kind of impressive. I’ve never met someone that would be so indifferent to annoyance like him…”
Yet that’s when Dazai felt himself stop in order to glance at the watchful kid in front of him. No, that was a lie. He did know someone else with that same kind of indifference, and she was sitting across from him right now.
And almost immediately, the boy felt his hands fall as he forced himself to reel his excitement back in. Damn it, he was getting too comfortable again, slipping into these carefree stories like they were friends.
He promised himself before he came here that he would stop doing that. Guess that showed how little self control he actually had when it came to her and Odaskau as a whole.
No, the original plan was to read Odasaku’s letter, tell one story and then leave. That was what had to happen, and Dazai was determined to keep it like that.
Forcing his lips closed, the mafioso then frantically stood from his spot before making his way back towards the door only for Asa to raise her hands in concern. What had gotten into him all of a sudden? They were in the middle of a story. “Hey, where are you going?”
The boy only shrugged his shoulders though, leaving Asa stunned. “Our agreement was fulfilled, right? That means it’s time to head out.”
And yes, he was right. She knew he was. They had already exchanged what was expected, he got a letter and she got a story. But things were going well, he looked so happy gushing about Oda. Why did that have to end so quickly?
Twisting her expression in conflict, Asagao then frowned before that familiar sense of loneliness couldn’t help but coat her throat. Just a little more, please stay just a little more.
She then stood with him, grasping at anything to make him stay. “Are you sure? You don't have to..I mean…I was just about to cook dinner. Maybe we could..”
Yet the boy simply cut her off, a tight smile on his lips as he waved her offer away like it meant absolutely nothing. “Sorry sweetheart, no can do! This handsome face is fully booked for the evening. Hate to disappoint but you gotta get in line for that.”
Almost immediately though, Asagao’s trained senses couldn’t help but ring with alarms. To anyone else, that response would’ve been normal but for someone that had cataloged his entire being, she knew right away that his words were a deflection of something else.
She felt that wall slam back up almost instantly, the distance much colder than it was just a couple minutes ago when they were laughing and telling stories. But why? What happened to make him so standoff-ish and fake all of a sudden? Was it something she said?
And she hated it, she hated that the sound of his voice implied that they were just mere strangers and not friends. Suddenly he was so out of reach, her invisible hand finding air instead of the boy she knew before.
The feeling was suffocating, Asagao wanting so badly to call him out on it, to show that she knew exactly what he was doing. But somehow, she forced herself to resist, to hold back on prying into the sad and complicated mind he possessed.
It was invasive, she knew that. She had figured that out firsthand when she accidentally made those girls from school cry and push her around. And though it felt like an itch she had to scratch, Asa instead clutched her hands into fists, holding back the temptation.
He would tell her when he was ready, right?
She had to trust that. If something was bothering him then would confine to her. That’s what she wanted to believe so badly. Anything to keep this ugly part of her at bay and hold back her words.
Taking a deep breath, Asagao then forced a smile to her lips in fake positivity before giving him a small wave in reply. “That’s okay, I don’t want to disturb you. Have fun.”
Osamu only winked in response, the flirty gesture giving her no comfort. “You know it, darling.”
And then he left, leaving her with the familiar companion of loneliness that had accompanied her throughout her entire life.
------
Three months.
It had been three months since their date and Asa was growing restless by the day, watching as Osamu kept that same suffocating distance between them. He never spoke about it, he didn’t even bring anything up regarding it.
No, he just left her in her own torment, like a shaky damn that’s foundations were slowly cracking.
She kept trying to tell herself to let it go, to stop being a bother and face the fact that they would never be friends like she had hoped. That wasn’t the agreement, he had no obligation to hang around longer than he needed to.
But as the days passed, so did the selfishness of her heart. The greed was swallowing her whole with every bit of rejection she received to have him stick around. No matter what she tried he never seemed interested.
No, he did seem interested. That was the problem.
Because of her stupid upbringing and analytical eyes she could tell that he was lying in his answers. This facade he put up, it wasn’t fooling her one bit and she honestly wished that it had.
The truth was, if he simply didn’t want those things then she could’ve lived with it but it was obvious to tell that Osu was holding himself back from something. And though Asagao was never an angry person, his withdrawal was starting to piss her off.
Why was he doing this to himself, why was he forcing himself to leave time and time again? She hated it, the torture he was putting himself through for a reason she couldn’t decipher.
So much so that after their usual exchange, Asagao followed him out the door, her fingers catching on the sleeve of his black jacket with silent plea. “Osu, are you sure you don't wanna stay?”
Once again he only gave her a shallow response. “So clingy, love. I already told you I was busy.”
But this time, the girl couldn’t let it rest. She had been trained to point out any irregularity or change in a person's demeanor since she could remember. It was ingrained into her, and she couldn’t turn it off even if she tried.
Yes, she was wearing her glasses but it wasn’t that easy with Osamu. She couldn’t see his mannerisms but she could hear them, she could sense them, and that was enough to know that something was very wrong with how he was acting.
Unable to help herself, Asagao spoke sharply. “Do you honestly think I’d believe such a lie?”
And for a moment, Dazai paused, his facade cracking for a second before he gave a careless laugh. “I’m not sure what you mean, Asa-chan, I would never lie.”
But just him saying that was a lie in itself. He thrived off of depiction, that much was very well known, even to Asagao. “I just don’t understand why you are forcing yourself to leave like this. You never want to.”
Almost immediately, Dazai felt frozen, his hand hovering over the door handle with silent distress. He hoped that Asa would look at his disinterest with the mind of a foolish lovesick girl but that didn’t seem to be the case. Why couldn’t it ever be easy with her?
Of course he had to leave. He couldn’t get comfortable, to allow himself to indulge in the drug that was Oda Asagao. Every single coax, every moment of temptation she had given him he had resisted. Just barely, but it still counted.
Because Dazai knew that the moment he gave into her, there would be no going back. And that couldn’t happen. Quite honestly, she was making everything harder by clinging on for so long. He hoped she would’ve gotten the message.
And she did, but it wasn’t the message that he intended. She didn’t see his rejection as indifference, she saw it as it really was, a scared little boy running away from what he really wanted.
Forcing another chuckle to his lips, Dazai gave her a sly smirk to mask his anxiety. “Well, I do admit it is hard to leave such a beautiful lady alone each time.”
His first response fell on deaf ears though, Asagao immediately sensing it as deflection. And unlike all the times before, she wasn’t going to let this one go.
Narrowing her eyes in strange seriousness, she sighed. “Osamu…”
The boy only turned his head though, pretending not to know what she was trying to imply. “Hmm?”
Although that’s when he watched her eyes fall with a softness that shook his very foundations. “What’s wrong?”
Shit, she knew something was wrong, she knew he was forcing himself away. This was bad. He knew she wouldn’t agree with his reasoning either. No, she’d probably encourage his bad little habit of sticking around.
And that was something he could not have.
Shoving the feelings down, Dazai simply scoffed, purposely speaking cruelly in order to get her to back off. “Nothing’s wrong, sweetheart. I’m just fulfilling my part of our deal. It’s you that wants me to stick around like this. Not that I can blame you, I am irresistible.”
Asagao only frowned though, seeing his sugar coated words as another deflection.“Don’t give me that, you’ve been acting weird for months. Do you really think I haven’t noticed? I wouldn’t have bothered you if you really wanted us to be strangers but I can tell that isn’t the case. You are forcing yourself to keep this distance between us. Why?”
Her words were like a set of draggers, cutting maliciously into him without permission as she poured out every single analytical thing she had picked up over the last few months. She didn’t pull any punches, leaving him absolutely breathless.
God, for as enticing as she was, Dazai hated this part of her just as much as he admired it. Because when it was aimed at anyone else it was marvel but when it was aimed at him..well it was his worst nightmare…
And that was because he always felt naked with her, so vulnerable and fragile, stripped away from every single mask and front he had ever put up. It didn’t matter how many layers he tried to cover himself with, she saw through every single one in a blink of an eye.
It was dangerous, being around her was so dangerous. He could never hide when he was put in front of her eyes, no matter how hard he wished for it. She was always his executioner, his mirror.
It made his skin crawl with uncomfortable raw emotion, wanting so badly to run away from her and protect himself from her scrutinizing and truth telling tongue.
Why did she have to perceive what he never wanted to be known and shove it in front of his face time and time again?
He felt like he was going to be sick, the boy forcing himself to keep himself together before she looked into him even deeper. “What you’re seeing is wishful thinking, love.”
And silently he begged for her to take the bait, to finally back off and take his gaslighting as the truth. But he was never lucky enough for that result.
Instead, Asagao’s frown only deepened, her heart twisting with rejection in order to do the one thing that had always seemed to get her in trouble. Pushing too far. “Why is it so bad to want to stay? I already said you don’t have to do anything…”
Yet that’s when she heard his voice, strained and cold. “Asagao.”
And once he got her attention, Dazai forced himself to say the one thing he knew would let him go, even if it was insanely cruel.
He had to, or else he knew she would never let up. “Quit trying to be Odasaku. You won’t replace him.”
Widening her eyes, Asagao’s felt her heart stab with pain at that, her entire body recoiling back from him with a sharp gasp. Is that what he thought, that she was trying to replace her brother?
That wasn’t what she was trying to do at all, that wasn’t her intention. She just wanted a friend, not to replace his memory entirely.
But then again, she supposed in some sort of manner it was like that. She had come to Yokohama, found Osamu and urged him into the same relationship that he had shared with her brother.
That’s right, she was just a knock off version of what he wanted. A dollar store rip off that didn’t compare to the real thing. How silly of her to expect any different, for him to care for her in the same capacity as he did for Oda.
Asagao got his message immediately, he was telling her not to overstep her place.
Not knowing how to respond, she then watched Osamu leave her alone, causing her hand to run across her face in sad revelation before moving back to the small shoe box on the table and opening the top.
Then the girl reached her hand in order to take out a familiar letter, the one that she had used to calm herself a million times before. The very first message of Osamu’s existence.
Pushing the letter close to her chest, Asagao then let out a shaky breath, not finding that familiar comfort anymore now that she knew the truth.
How foolish of her, to think that he wouldn’t leave like all the others.
----
Chapter 12
“Quit trying to be Odasaku.”
The words slipped from his lips without a second thought, purposely cracking the carefree outer shield that Asagao always wore in order for the boy to see the hurt that he didn't know existed.
For some reason, that phrase wasn’t something she could brush off or use her usual coping mechanism on. No, one look in her eyes and Dazai could tell that it was bigger, that he had touched a spot that broke through her trauma plated armor.
But in the end it had gotten him what he wanted, the girl no longer stopping him as he walked out of Oda’s apartment without another word, taking that sick nauseating feeling with him.
She wasn’t trying to take the place of Odasaku, he knew that, but in Dazai’s mind his projection of his own insecurities basically made the result the same. Asagao wasn’t aiming to be Oda but the boy could feel their similarities creeping up his spine even so.
It didn’t matter if she had good intentions, because the boy had seen her as his dead friend many times before.
The truth was, Dazai was the one who was searching for Odasaku, he was the one that tried to recreate those feelings with Asagao.
It wasn’t her fault, it was his own fucked up brain wishing for those mundane and carefree times back. He wanted to stay at her place for weeks on end and eat dinner with her every time she offered. He wanted to tell her stories about her brother and laugh about them throughout the entire night.
But instead he lashed out, he shoved his own insecurities in her face and caused her to make that heartbreaking expression instead. Guess she was wrong, he couldn’t be a good man after all. He bet she regretted that statement now.
What a disappointment he was, hurting the one thing that Odasaku held dearly. He tried to warn her that she would be caught in the crossfire of his own destruction but she didn't listen. And now she had paid the price.
If only she wasn’t so clever, if only she didn’t see through every single one of his defenses. See, this was why he preferred to be around stupid girls, ones that didn’t ask too many questions. It was easier that way, easier to hide in himself.
But with Asagao he couldn’t do that, and it terrified a part of him he didn’t even know he possessed. She saw him in a way no one else could, she perceived him in a manner that shook him to his very core.
It was a contradiction, to want to be understood and yet not at the same time. To call out into the sea and pray to be rescued but also hope to be drowned. That was the line that Dazai constantly walked, and the boy knew that he would never be happy with either result.
Because to be seen, to be perceived was the scariest he could ever imagine. Just the mere idea of such a concept caused his fingers to wrap around the bandages around his arms with a shiver of alarm.
No, he couldn’t do it. It didn’t matter how much he craved it, how much he wished for it. He couldn’t show anyone these ugly disgusting parts of himself. The walls, the barriers, the armor, they needed to be there forever.
That’s why he wore the tightly wound gauze in the first place, to hide. To cover himself in order to be able to stand to look at the sight. They shielded him, coddled him far from his inner self, tucking him away emotionally so that no one could ever truly see the scarred and tainted skin underneath.
They were a necessity, something that Dazai knew he couldn’t live without.
And just the mere thought of Asagao seeing underneath his bandages almost spiraled him into a panic attack on the spot. No, he couldn’t let her get too close, he couldn’t let her figure out this horrible part of him.
This feeling of insecurity and helplessness, he hated it more than anything. It stuck to his skin like a disease, taunting him with every step. He needed to be ridded of it immediately before it consumed his sad little nonexistent heart completely.
Mindlessly making his way back to his apartment, the boy then threw open the door before stepping inside the hollow and lonely place without a single word.
The soothing and happy hum, the sickening smell of sweets, the bright aura that was once there was no longer now that Asagao had left.
She took all the life with her it seemed. And without her the place had returned back to its usual depressed state.
Focusing on a corner of a room, Dazai then recalled the massive blanket fort that had graced the space all those months ago. He was so stunned when he first saw it and somewhere in the back of his throat he missed it, simply because all that was left now was just empty space.
Robotically moving over his bed, the boy then laid back onto the soft mattress with a sigh in order to lift his hand and cover his face as the silence turned into sadness.
He felt no warmth, no comforting uneasiness that he had with Asagao. No, the boy didn’t feel anything, his entire body numb and nonexistent as he forced himself back to the sad little life he had made for himself.
Now he was alone, just as he had always been, and just how he would always be.
------
Six months passed by and Dazai resided in keeping himself busy at all times. Wether it was trying out a new suicide attempt or taking on every single assigment that Mori had offered, the boy had stuck to a schedule in order to keep himself away from tempting lure of Asagao.
Yes, they still visited each other but the boy made sure to keep it at a surface level and after his careless comment Asagao didn’t seem to object. They were back to being strangers, just like he had always intended them to be.
Which was why the executive was now standing in the middle of a crossfire, his ears filling up with loud shouts and orders as the air rained down with bullets all around them.
It was supposed to be a simple job but somehow had turned into an all out war without warning. And though Dazai’s ability made him powerful, it didn’t stop the influx of offensive attacks that were all aimed at him.
And though he dodged the best he could, the boy wasn’t that lucky as one of his attackers managed to ram his fist into Dazai’s stomach in order for another one of his lackeys to fire a shot in the mafioso’s direction.
The impact was instant, crashing into his shoulder with a sharp sting of agony as Dazai hissed at the contact. Fuck, that hurt. Didn’t these guys know he didn’t like pain?
Apparently not, because a second later another gun was aimed at his face, causing the bandaged boy to groan in order to kick the object away with his foot and retreat behind a nearby tree.
Touching the crimson color on his shoulder, he seethed at the pain before watching his fingers coat with dangerous warning. Damn it, he was losing blood fast, so much so the boy already felt dizzy.
He then heard a shout to his left, the attackers signaling that they had found Dazai only for the boy to grit his teeth and take off running. The last thing he needed was to be captured and tortured by these guys. He did not want to die in a dirty old cell like that.
Feeling his own heartbeat pound in his ears, the brown haired kid ignored the blurry spots in his vision in order to pant and push further and further into the streets of Yokohama.
And the fainter he got, the more Dazai wondered if this was really it, if he was finally going to die tonight?
If that was true then it was unfortunate, considering how much his entire body hurt right now. This was no painless way to leave this world, and because of that the boy couldn’t help but be against it.
But if he was going to die like this then he knew the exact place he wanted to go.
Forcing his shaky and uncertain legs to move, his fingers leaned against a nearby wall before practically clawing his way to where he needed to go. No, he couldn’t die until he was there, then everything would be okay.
And soon enough he found it, the steps of Odasaku’s apartment causing a tired smile to cross his lips before his body finally gave out on the steps.
It only seemed right to go here, this was where it all started after all, where Odaskau had found him all those years ago.
But even in his delirious state, Dazai knew that no one would save him this time. Odasaku was dead, which meant the only thing left for him now was to join him.
And as he felt his eyes close with acceptance, the boy whispered to himself.
“I’m sorry, Odasaku. I failed you.”
-----
Sighing to herself, Asagao strolled through the streets of Yokohama with no particular goal in mind. She didn’t even really know why she was out here but anything was better than wallowing in her own depression she supposed.
Ever since Osamu’s comment to her three months ago, the two hadn’t been close. Hell, it seemed that they were even more like strangers than before. The two still saw each other, yeah, but it was never about anything but their deal.
The conversations were shallow and meaningless, leaving her wanting more each time. But Asa knew better than to be selfish again. This was the relationship they had whether she liked it or not.
And she respected it, even if it was extremely hard to do so.
Asagao then paused as a group of school girls passed by her, everyone in the group laughing and giggling about some kind of inside joke as one of them gasped. “Hey, you wanna check out the newest cafe? It just opened.”
Her friend only nodded enthusiastically, obviously eager for the idea. “Yeah, let’s do it!”
And as they passed by her, Asa couldn’t help but feel her gaze fall with defeat. What did that feel like, to hang out like normal middle schoolers, to have someone to lean on so easily? She didn’t know, she never knew how that felt.
Because as much as she liked to believe she could be a part of that world, Asa knew in her heart that it was impossible. Something about her was never that way, she could feel it.
She wasn’t a mafioso nor a normal kid. She didn’t fit in either one of those boxes. The brutality and evilness of it all, the average happy go lucky mold of a giggly middle schooler, they never seemed quite right.
The sad truth was, Asagao knew she didn’t belong anyway. Not with the mafia, not with the civilians. She was a strange middle ground, a purgatory between heaven and hell, unable to transfer to either side no matter how badly she wanted it.
Her eyes had made that impossible and now she was stuck on the outside, looking through a glass box of disappointment.
Hell, even Osamu didn’t like the way she was.
That much was evident from his comments months ago. It still haunted her, the assumption that she had done all of this to take her big brother's place by his side. It disgusted her to know that it was kind of the truth.
What was wrong with her? She couldn’t find a place in the darkness or a light so instead she sought after her big brother's position instead? How vile. She hated herself for even thinking about such a thing.
No wonder Osamu got sick of her. She couldn’t even blame him.
She didn’t really like herself either.
Sighing to herself once more, Asa then walked back to her brother’s apartment sadly, not wanting to be out here anymore. She decided to go out to make herself feel better but it seemed even that was a bust.
The girl then turned the corner to her street only to pause at the sight of a black blur laid across the steps of her brother’s apartment. Hold on, what was that? Someone was sleeping in front of her door? How odd.
Yet the closer she got, the more she recognized the very familiar brown haired boy, his body coated in blood from an unknown source. Oh my god, what happened to him? “O-Osamu?”
He didn’t stir at that sound of her voice, his muscles unmoving as Asagao quickly kneed down in order to press a finger to the side of his throat in panic in order to find a pulse. Oh thank god, he wasn’t dead.
Although the second her fingers graced his skin, Osu’s voice whispered out brokenly, his tone distant and weak as he pleaded softly. “I’m sorry, Odasaku. I failed you.”
Feeling her face drop at the desperation in his words, Asagao shook her head, moving her hands over to his shoulders with anxiety.
She didn’t know what he was talking about in the slightest but hearing him speak so small and dejected made her heart hurt. “Don’t say that. You haven’t failed anyone.”
His lack of response to her voice caused Asa to panic, her hands frantically moving under his arms in order to lift his limb body off the steps before stumbling in the process.
Because they were about the same height and build, she was able to handle his dead weight just barely, silently apologizing to the boy in her head as she dragged his feet across the threshold of Oda’s apartment with another breathy wobble.
No, she couldn’t keep him out there. It didn’t matter if she couldn’t fully carry him inside, if his feet were still glued to the ground. She would push herself as far as he needed to to make sure he was okay.
Finally reaching the sofa, Asagao then carefully lowered Osamu’s sweaty and weak body down onto the cushions before quickly grabbing the nearest medical kit she could find in order to sit across from him and start to take off his bloody black jacket.
Surprisingly enough, Osu didn’t protest to her frazzled hands, his eyes far too heavy and distant to reply as Asagao tried to reach him again. “I’m going to take off your shirt so I can see how deep the wound is, okay?”
Once again he didn’t answer, causing Asa to continue her plan as her fingers graced the buttons of his black vest, peeling the fabric away before pulling his tie from his neck and untying the knot without a second thought.
And though her face felt undeniably hot from her methods she shoved the feelings down. Now was not the time to get flustered about these kinds of things. Osamu needed her. She could get embarrassed later, once she found out he was alright.
Fumbling with the buttons on the white shirt underneath, she then watched the boy hiss as she unstuck the glued-on fabric from his bloody skin only for Asa to whisper sadly. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t like pain but please bear with me. I promise I’ll be as gentle as I can for you.”
And she was, she was trying to be as light as possible, only touching the fabric from his shirt and not the skin that laid beneath out of respect for his preferences. The last thing she wanted to do was cause him discomfort in any way while he was injured.
She didn’t want him to think that she was taking advantage of his weak state by going further than what he consented to.
Being a port mafia executive, she knew it was probably already hard for him to show this vulnerable position and trust anyone with his body, especially to this extent.
So Asa tried her best, only grabbing onto the fabric as she pulled it from his arms only to find the source of the blood immediately.
Damn it, he was shot in the shoulder. First she had to get the bullet out and then give him stitches or else he was at risk of bleeding out.
Quickly opening the first aid kit, Asagao then grabbed a pair of tweezers before moving the objects towards his shoulder with a sharp breath of apprehension, knowing Osu would feel pain from her decision. “I’m so sorry love but this is gonna hurt. I’m gonna need you to be strong for me, okay? Grab my wrist or hold my hand if you need to. I’m right here.”
The way she called him love , it rolled off her tongue without a second thought, extending her non-dominant hand out to hover in front of him silently before focusing her attention back on his wound.
Asking a top level member of the mafia to be strong, perhaps it was foolish but she felt the need to say it even so. Because if he was weak in this moment, she wanted him to know that she wouldn’t judge him for it.
Digging her tweezers into the bloody wound, she felt Osamu’s body tense up, his teeth gritting together with clear discomfort as Asa quickly wrapped the surface around the bullet in order to pull it free.
Yet even so, the boy didn’t reach out to her at all, his fingers instead clenching the fabric on his pants as Asagao quietly stitched up his open gash with precise precision.
She didn’t mind though, she didn’t hold the rejection against him, allowing him to do whatever he felt comfortable with in order to focus on her job.
Being a hellhound had its perks after all, and one of them was firsthand experience with patching herself up as a child. She could do it in a matter of seconds, even with her eyes closed.
The skill was always useful but Asa had never been truly thankful of it till now, knowing that she could ease Osamu of his pain as fast as possible.
Once she was done, the girl sighed in relief, seeing Osu’s ghostly white fingers relax from his hold only for Asagao to notice the rest of his chest.
The bandages he always wore were soaked with blood, trailing towards his bare skin in streaks and splotches.
He couldn’t be comfortable like that, sitting in that kind of reminder. Also what if there were more wounds under all the blood? What if there was something lethal that she couldn’t see? If so then she needed to treat it right away.
Reaching her fingers forward in anxiety, the tips then hovered on top of his bandages only for Osamu to seemingly wake up from his dazed state, the alarms in his head practically screaming at him to move.
Hmm? It doesn’t hurt anymore.
Wait, what is she reaching for?
Wait, no..anything but that..
And as her fingers started to unravel the coverings, the boy's hand snapped forward with frightening speed in order to latch onto her wrist with a painful death grip of warning.
He then roughly pulled her hand away from the gauze as Asagao froze at the deadly and dangerous look he was giving her. It was lethal, the sight forcing her to silence immediately.
His eyes, they only held threats, the iris’ wide and crazed like a cornered wild animal or a demon inside the skin of a boy.
In this moment Osamu resembled the devil himself, unmoving, unchanging from the hold he had on her.
But what Asa didn’t know was that the boy inside was spiraling, panicking on the deepest level the moment her fingers graced the shaky and wrapped up emotions that he had always hid away from the world.
Anything to make her stop, anything to get her to pull away from the hideous and ugly parts that needed to stay buried. No one could see them, especially her. He needed to get her to stop no matter what, even if he had to break her wrist to do so.
And a second later, he thought about doing just that, his grip tightening with force only for Asagao to notice the slightest tremor in his muscles as he did so.
The feeling caused Asa’s eyes to fall, her mind not even focusing on the pain in order to take in the boy before her. He was shaking, trembling even though he was trying not to show it. He was scared of her seeing him, of her taking off his bandages.
A hard ball of emotion coursed through her throat at the sight, knowing the internal fear better than anyone. She was scared to live without her glasses just like he was scared to live without his white colored binds.
To perceive the world, to be perceived yourself, they were frightening concepts for both Asagao and Osamu. They used the physical, the tangible to keep them safe and secure from the possibility of hurt.
Then, the realization hit Asagao immediately.
God, he probably felt cornered with her here, watching him with her analytical and prying mind. That’s why he looked so wild and crazed, why he was grabbing her wrist with so much force right now. It was because he was terrified of her looking too deep, of her finding something he wasn’t proud of.
Dazai only took the silence as suffocation though, each moment causing his heart to twist and turn with even more breathless panic as he forced his words to move to no avail.
He wanted to scream, to yell at her, to threaten her and hurt her so badly that she would never dare to touch him ever again like that.
His mind spun, delirious from his wound, the horrors and nightmares of his past and present swirling around him in a psychotic and madened circle only to watch as Asa closed her eyes with a small smile of acceptance.
And when she spoke, it was soft, barely above a whisper. “It’s okay, I understand now.”
Wait, what did she mean she understood? Why was she looking like that? He was hurting her, he was so close to breaking her wrist. She should’ve been scared or disgusted by his weak panic.
But what kind of face was that?
Yet that’s when his dizzy and faint expression followed her movements, the girl slowly pulling away from his vice grip before reaching for his black discarded tie in order to hold it between her fingers.
Asagao then wordlessly slipped off her large round glasses before replacing the objects with the black colored fabric, purposely blinding herself from his view before turning back to him.
And with just three tiny words, he was stunned into silence. “You’re safe now.”
Widening his eyes the boy felt the meaning crash into him almost instantly. They carved into Dazai without permission, his eyes widening at the feeling before his weakened and shaking fingers couldn’t help but grip onto the fabric of his pants in response.
Safe.
She said he was safe. That concept, he never knew the meaning until now.
They were just three little words and yet Dazai somehow knew what they meant immediately. She was telling him that he was safe from being perceived, that he didn’t have to worry about her finding his insecurities and ugly tainted soul.
Even though she had noticed, Asagao didn’t tell him to get over it, she didn’t push forward, she didn’t force him past his comfort.
She instead blinded herself for his sake, to give him comfort, to give him security, to ease his trembling and terrified mind before he unraveled right in front of her face. It was so kind, so unbelievably meaningful that Dazai didn’t know how to take it.
How could someone truly be this perfect, how could they truly understand such a thing so clearly with little to no words. Without judgment, without persecution? He didn’t think it was possible.
Reaching her hands forward, Asagao then hovered back over the looming bandages still soaked with blood in order to continue to unravel them, her lips playing in a soft blissful hum as she did so.
The sound caught in his ears immediately, distracting him from her touch as he watched her careful fingers never reach towards his skin, strictly keeping them on the gauze almost like she knew the sensitivity and vulnerable weakness it would cause by straying too far.
And as his ugly scarred skin started to appear underneath, a self conscious look crossed his face, the boy thankful that Asa couldn’t see such a weak display.
But even though her eyes were covered, just her mere presence in front of his ugly skin was enough for the boy’s face to flush in order to look away with a shaky uncertain breath.
It didn’t matter that she couldn’t actually see, this was the most intimate he had ever gotten with someone before.
And he didn’t mean intimacy in terms of sex either, although it would be wrong to call his hookups intimate on any level considering his methods were to just bend them over and get it over with as fast as possible.
But this was different than the physical intimacy that he was used to. No, this was something bigger, something far more deep and personal then he had never experienced before.
This was emotional intimacy. The act of being mentally vulnerable, of trusting someone to keep you safe in your most weakened state. It was to allow the walls to crumble down and allow someone to cross your barriers even though it was terrifying to do so.
Dazai then realized that sex was easy, far easier than whatever this was. It didn’t have feelings, it didn’t force him to show the absolute worst parts of himself and strip him down emotionally to his very core like this.
But even so, the boy allowed Asagao to continue, her hands finally gathering up the old bloody bandages in order to toss them on the ground before reaching down in order to find his hand. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”
And he hated how he physically flinched at the contact, unable to stop the weak response now that he was vulnerably naked in front of her. He felt more sensitive than before, the slightest touch urging him to recoil back into his shell.
She seemed to notice the response immediately, her fingers quickly pulling him up before he felt his bare arms rest against the fabric of her shirt in order to take him over to Oda’s bathroom just a couple feet away.
And because it wasn’t skin to skin contact, the boy found it easier, resting his weary body on her shirt in order for her to lower him into the tub with a type of care that he thought wasn’t physically possible.
Then he watched as she turned around in order to gather up the bottle of shampoo and conditioner along with a cloth that was sitting on a shelf behind her with ease.
He wondered how she did it, how she managed to wander around the bathroom even without being able to see?
Well, he supposed it was because of her glasses. She couldn’t see either way so being blindfolded by his tie was probably nothing different in terms of view.
Then like magic, it seemed like she had read his mind. “I bet you’re wondering how I’m so good at this. Well, being blindfolded was a part of my training to be a hellhound. I’ve learned to catalog objects in physical spaces. Being out on the streets I’m sure I’d have a little more trouble but in a familiar environment like this, seeing isn’t a necessity.”
She was grateful for it now, this little trick of hers, simply because Asa knew this was something only she could do for Osamu. Anyone else would’ve fumbled and struggled in the darkened world she willingly created but not her.
No, she thrived in it, more than Osu would ever know.
Wetting the cloth with running water, Asa then sat on her knees in order to bring the fabric to Osamu’s chest before feeling him twitch and flitch at the contact. He was in a fragile state right now so she had to be careful.
And careful she was, her fingers moving across the bumpy and raised scarred skin ever so slowly in order to wash every bit of blood she felt between her touch, cleansing him of his sins without a second thought.
Softening her eyes through the blindfold, she heard his quiet responses immediately. The shaking uneven breath, the feeling of his rising and falling chest of uncertainty with each move, somehow she knew that he was watching her, prepared to pull away at any moment.
It only made her even more determined though, wanting to show him just how much she cared about him, to show how monumental this boy was to her very existence. She wanted to give him the world, to prove to him that it was okay to be weak and uncertain in front of her.
Once she didn’t feel any more blood, Asagao then directed her attention to the bottle of shampoo to her left in order to pour a small amount on her hand as she heard Osu question softly. “What are you doing?”
Smiling towards his voice, Asa replied. “I noticed you had blood in your hair before.”
There was a silence then, almost like he was trying to decipher her sentence before she tilted his head back in order to gently massage the shampoo into his fluffy soft hair.
She heard his voice then, far smaller than it was before. “You don’t have to do this.”
Feeling her eyes close under the blindfold, Asagao only nodded her head in reply. If only he knew how far she’d go for him, how much he meant to her ever since she was a child. This was nothing.
Asagao’s fingers then paused on his scalp before answering honestly. “I know, I want to.”
She then began to hum again, hoping it would distract him from his nerves and allow him to enjoy the gentle feeling of her fingers in his hair. He deserved to feel comforted and safe more than anything else.
And he did, Dazai did feel comfortable with her movements, the soft humming lulling his muscles to sink further in the tub without permission in order to close his eyes and get lost in the moment.
His bare unbandaged skin shivered at her touch, the knot in his stomach still existent and yet not overwhelming as he felt himself drown in the warmth of her very presence.
Why she would ever want to do this was beyond him. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to feel this good, to be cared for to this extent, or any extent really.
But even so, his greedy little soul couldn’t help but give into the temptation of it all. How could he not when she was singing so sweetly and touching him like he was the most precious thing in the entire universe?
God, he wanted to stay here forever, to die perfectly between those fingers of hers and drift away from this world entirely. How peaceful would that be, to go in a state of pure bliss like this one?
Yet just as he thought that, her touch disappeared, causing the boy to resist the urge to reach out and desperately plead for it back as he watched her put the bottles back on the shelf.
He then felt his body lift back up to rest on her shirt as Asago quietly took him to Oda’s bedroom in order to carefully lay him on the mattress with just as much fragile care as before.
Reaching into her pocket, Dazai then watched her pull out two rolls of freshly bound bandages in order to show the boy. “Would you like to put them on or do you want me to help?”
The answer should’ve been immediate. Who cares if he was suffering from blood loss, he didn’t need help, he needed to quickly get his bandages back on in order to feel protected again.
Asa helping him would result in her having to touch his skin, and that was a terrifying thought.
Yet if that was the case, why did he instead reach his hand out to grasp her wrist and not the bandages? Why did he squeeze the skin in a silent wordless plea of weakness?
And why did she answer so softly in response? “Of course, love.”
Love. She called him love. She had used his pet name against him again but this time it wasn’t in vain, it wasn’t to mock him or poke fun. No, somehow this time that name held so much more power than it had ever before.
Asagao then slowly began to unwrap the white colored gauze before pushing her hand out towards his vision with a small smile. “Hold out your arms, I’ll be careful. I promise.”
His muscles complied almost instantly, the boy pushing out his scarred and disgusting arms before Asagao carefully covered the sights with the bandages, her fingers still mindful not to touch the skin as she did so.
Her contact still caused him to flinch though, Dazai resisting the urge to pull back as her hands then moved to his face in order to rewrap his eye and then his chest.
He watched her every movement, glued to the sight until everything was finally back in place. Now he could finally breathe behind his constructed walls again. Now he wasn’t so vulnerable.
And it seemed Asagao sensed that as well, her hands moving towards the black tie around her eyes before pulling the fabric away in order for her hollow and distant gaze to finally meet his. “There, that’s better. Hang on, I think Oda had some old shirts in here that you could use..”
Turning around, the girl then pulled open a couple drawers before pulling out a large white and black striped button down shirt, the sight causing Dazai’s eyes to soften immediately. He had seen that piece of fabric a million times before. It was one of Odasaku’s favorites.
Asagao then moved back over to him before carefully helping his fatigued body into the shirt, her fingers fixing up the buttons as Dazai looked down and cataloged the distance between them, which was minuscule at best.
Then once she was done with the top button, she smiled before looking up only to find Osamu staring straight at her, their lips only about a couple inches away from each other.
But like the idiot she was, Asagao didn’t flush at the distance, a stupid smile moving to her lips in order to lean back like absolutely nothing had shaken her.
But did that also mean that Dazai wasn't effect either? Well that was another story entirely.
Humming to herself, Asagao then clapped her hands before turning around in order to face the doorway. “Perfect, now get some rest. Oh, and don’t worry about taking the bed, you need it more than me.”
But as she started to walk away, Dazai felt a sense of panic course through his throat, the delusional and dizzying blood loss of his injuries causing him to confuse reality and fiction.
The similar features, the blinding red hair, the black and white shirt on his body, suddenly it was like seeing Odasaku all over again.
He felt tortured with familiar deja vu, the memory of the man walking away from him, of slipping through his fingers, it scared him more than anything else.
He didn't want her to go, he didn’t want her to end up like Odasaku.
Reaching his hand forward, Dazai’s shaking fingers stopped her hand, a desperation in his throat as he willed the weakness to seep from his lips. “Please don’t go.”
And for a moment Asagao was stunned. She had never heard Osamu plead before, it broke her heart to witness it. To see him so scared and fragile, so desperate to hold onto her.
Immediately turning around, Oda’s sister then moved back up to him before reaching into her pocket in order to pull out Osu’s black port mafia tie again and wrap half of it around the palm of her hand.
Then she leaned down before wrapping the other half around Osamu’s palm, the fabric welcoming against skin before she spoke gently. “ I promise I’ll be right here when you wake up. See? We are connected. I’m not going anywhere, not until you tell me to.”
The connection was enough to relax his shoulders, feeling the tether between his skin as he allowed his eyes to get heavier and sink down into the bed with a sigh of relief.
But even so, he resisted the pull, knowing that he would find Odasaku’s blood between his fingers the moment he closed his eyes completely. No, he didn’t need it. He didn’t need to rest.
His stubbornness was not lost on Asagao though, her expression turning into a sad frown before parting her lips with a small breath. He wasn’t letting himself relax, forcing his body to keep going even though it was physically breaking down before him.
There had to be something she could do to ease his nerves, to allow him to breathe.
Then she recalled the way his body reacted to the sound of her small little tune in the bath, feeling the need to recreate such a reaction again. Except this time, she wanted him to understand her, to verbally showcase the hidden meaning that was there since the beginning.
And that’s when Dazai heard it again, her humming, the sweet sound like a siren song. Except this time it was different, her vague melody turning into words, into feelings he could not comprehend.
~ It’s easy to push me away from you. Easy to say you want to be left on your own, it’s what you have told yourself. Over and over again in darkness, you try to hold back all the thoughts ~
His wandering thoughts couldn’t help but still immediately, soaking each word through his clouded mind in order to push his lips together with a trembling breath of realization. These lyrics, they were a reflection, a mirror of what he could never voice out loud.
But before he could analyze it further, Dazai felt her gentle fingers coast across the top of his hair, barely gliding off the surface and lulling his muscles further into the mattress as a strange state of calm coursed through him.
It was like she knew the kind of effect her moves had on him, the boy completely and utterly entranced by her in every possible way in order to feel his eyes grow heavier and heavier without permission.
~But you know, I just want you as you are, just the you that I see right before me. It’s all that has been on my mind ~
The words he thought he’d never hear, the feelings he knew he didn’t deserve, they gently rested on his chest, coaxing him further and further down to drown in them all together.
And he wanted to, he never wanted to come up for air again if it meant dying to the sound of her absolute adoration.
~Lend me your voice, let me see your face, let me start to show you what I see. Bring me close, let me feel the beat of your heart, the secrets you bury. Lend me your voice~
Yet as the actual lyrics flooded far from his understanding, the feelings remained in order for Dazai’s eyes to finally give into the temptation, the feeling of invisible hands rocking him gently and completely into utter submission.
And for the first time in his life, the port mafia executive, the boy who had never once allowed himself to rest, finally felt free from his self made chains.
Yes, perhaps this was all a dream, perhaps when he woke up he’d be back in the darkness, in the emptiness of his port mafia apartment.
But for now, he allowed himself to indulge in it even so.
He allowed himself to feel safe.
----
Feeling as his heavy lidded eyes forced their way open, Dazai turned his head with a muttered groan before yawning back the tiredness in his throat. He was drowsy, not knowing anything but the soft plush mattress underneath him.
Yet that’s when the boy felt himself freeze, his eyes sharply opening before realization crashed into him almost instantly. He slept? No, there was no way. Dazai didn’t sleep, he hadn’t in months. There was no way he would’ve allowed himself such a thing.
And not only that, as the boy searched his own mind he found no recollection of nightmares. That couldn’t be right either. Everytime he closed his eyes he found Odasaku’s death.
Why was this time different, why didn’t he wake up in a panic attack with his heartbeat in his ears? Why didn’t he hear his own voice scream out and wake himself up? Why had everything instead been, calm?
Not understanding, the boy then frowned before trying to move his hand to his head only to find something wrapped around the surface of his palm. Hold on, what was..
Yet that's when Dazai turned towards the source only for his eyes to widen at the sight of Asagao’s body scrunched up and laying on the floor by him, her arms and head buried on top of the mattress as she slept peacefully beside him.
Her hand was extended out, causing the boy’s heart to skip at the sight of the tethered black tie that connected their two hands together. And although it was just a simple piece of fabric, the implications of it were something that Dazai struggled to comprehend.
She was sleeping so uncomfortably just to stay by his side. Why?
Then all at once, the events of last night flashed in his mind, causing his face to flush in memory. No, that wasn’t a dream? Asagao really saved him last night? She took care of him like that, she touched his bandages.
The knowledge itself brought the boy into a spiral. Damn it, why did he do that? Why did she have to see such a weak and pathetic side of himself? Some self control he had, unraveling before Oda’s sister’s fingers like that.
He had done everything he had promised himself not to do. Those walls that he had tried so hard to keep up between them were destroyed so quickly and cruelly that he couldn't help but wither.
And god, he hated that he loved every bit of it, that his soul hungered for more of her gentle touch and sugar coated words. They reached a part of himself he didn’t even know existed, a part that craved to be taken care of and coddled like a child.
Although the moment his hand moved, the tie connecting them seemed to shake Asa awake as well, her head lulling to the side before realizing that he was lucid. “O-Oh! Osamu. How are you doing, do you need anything, are you okay?”
That was the question, wasn’t it? Was he okay? Because he knew that he wasn’t. The way he was feeling now, the warmth that had spread through his entire body, it wasn’t natural, it wasn’t like him. Fuck, he was so grateful for her that he could hardly breathe, could hardly speak it out into the air.
What was she doing to him, what kind of tricks was she pulling to make him think such dangerous non deserving thoughts?
He then watched her seemingly jump up from the floor in order to flap her arms around like a nervous chicken. “W-Wait, I have to check if you have a fever. I think I saw a thermometer around that first aid kid somewhere. I’ll go get it.”
Yet as he watched her go, Dazai couldn’t help but sense the underlying kindness behind her words. It would’ve been easier to just put her hand to his forehead in order to check for a fever but instead she was going through so many lengths in order to not cross his comfort zone.
No one had ever touched him like that before, after all, he had never allowed it and instead of Asagao ignoring his fear she was respecting it, just like she had done last night by blinding herself with his tie and mindfully avoiding his skin.
She was always so kind, so tender and soft with him, it almost made Dazai want to break apart again right then and there. So much so, he felt his hand reach out without warning in order to latch onto her wrist tightly.
Not understanding, Asagao paused immediately, her body turning back to Osamu only to see him hesitate. The air turned silent and still, causing the girl to step closer in concern.
He wasn’t speaking but there was clearly something on his mind. “Osamu?”
Giving him space to respond, she then felt Osu’s hand pull her back towards him before lifting her wrist upwards with uncertainty, his movements stopping for a second as Asa allowed him to do so.
Then she watched him take in a shaky uneven breath, pushing the palm of her hand up to his forehead as her fingers ghosted over the skin before physically flinching at the touch in order for his hold to tighten on her wrist with clear anxiety.
But even so, Osu didn’t pull away, his hand unmoving in order to finally let go of her wrist as Asa audibly gasped at the meaning.
Could it really be? He was allowing her to touch him. This scared little boy, this trembling hand, they trusted her enough to cross a boundary that was off limits to the entire world. It made her want to cry in realization.
So much so that Asagao complied with the request, the palm of her hand carefully pressing against the bare skin of his forehead in order to feel for a temperature and make sure that he hadn’t gotten a fever from the bullet wound.
Yet the more pressure she applied, the more she heard Osamu sharply breathe, his skin practically quivering at the foreign and vulnerable feeling of human to human contact.
It was minuscule sure, but his strength meant the world to her. Finally, he was attempting to let someone in, to see through his thinly veiled facade, the one he used time and time again.
And for Dazai, the feeling was overwhelming, his entire face burning with self conscious embarrassment in order for the pound of his heartbeat to overtake every one of his senses
He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t feel anything but the lightheaded sensation from the touch on his skin.
His mind wanted to run, the tenseness of his muscles ever telling. But for some other reason, he couldn’t look away, he couldn’t find the strength to lean back or rip the feeling off no matter how hard he tried.
The boy then felt the light ghost of her touch trickle down, her fingertips descending to his cheek before crandling the surface as his own nerves jumped through his skin.
They were eye level now, Dazai’s brown attentive gaze locking onto her hollow one before a wordless breath passed between them. Then all at once, he felt himself fall into the surface immediately, cataloging the teal undertones in the Odasaku blue.
So pretty, so memorizing. So perfect.
Although that’s when Asagao seemingly snapped out of her trance and the same time as him in order to reel backwards with an embarrassed gasp. Ah, what was she doing?! She got so caught up that she forgot that she wasn’t wearing her glasses right now.
Staring so directly at someone like that, she couldn’t take it anymore.
Ignoring the hot flush on her cheeks, Asa then took another step backwards before unraveling the black tie from her palm absentmindedly with a rushed chuckle. “Anyways, your temperature feels normal. That’s good, I’m glad you’re okay. You really scared me last night. Good thing I found you right in time.”
She then bunched the back fabric in her hands before adding casually. “Although I’m sure you would’ve preferred if Oda had helped you instead..”
It was obvious who he preferred after all, and the only reason he had allowed her to fix him back up was because Odasaku couldn’t do it.
Osu didn’t want her, not really. She was just the only thing there. But either way, Asagao was happy to have helped him at that moment. Even if she wasn’t her brother, the one that Osamu really wanted, she was still grateful that he had granted her such a fragile moment.
Watching her sadly laugh the comment away, Dazai’s mind couldn’t help but return to the cruel statement he had given her all those months before back when he self projected his own insecurities onto her.
It still affected her, he could tell just from the tone of her voice. She looked at herself as so insignificant, so unimportant compared to her big brother but he knew that wasn’t the case.
Because as much as he loved Odasaku, as much as he cherished him with his entire heart, Dazai knew that his friend wouldn’t have acted the way Asagao did last night.
He spoke from experience after all, considering Oda had found him in the same manner all those years ago. But the man never saw through him like Asa did, he never attempted to meet his insecurities and treat him with such gentle hands.
Odasaku’s methods were more practical. He would patch up the boy and then take him out for a drink. He wouldn’t push past his walls or even bother to speak about the boundaries he had put in place.
And that’s where the two siblings differed.
Because while Oda chose to ignore it, Asa could not. It was physically impossible for her to do so, and because of that she had pulled him out of his own self isolating box with careful devotion.
Pushing his lips together in conflict, the boy searched for the words to respond, never having such trouble before. Dazai usually talked at a mile a minute and yet at this moment he seemed at a loss.
So instead, he borrowed from her lips, remembering the overwhelming feeling he felt when she had first said the specific phrase and hoping that it would do the same for her. “I’m glad it was you.”
All at once, Asagao felt herself freeze in pure shock, her eyes widening as she recalled the words instantly. That’s what she had told him right before falling asleep on his shoulder all those months ago.
She told him that when he was insecure about being the subject of Oda’s letters. He thought he wasn’t worthy enough to be a foundation in her life like he had been.
And he was wrong of course. She was happy that he existed, that he was one that she had attached herself to over the years. He was everything to her, and she wanted him to know that.
But hearing him say that to her, hearing Osamu so openly express his thankfulness for her presence, her validation for being something meaningful in his life brought a wave of emotion she couldn't control.
Was he saying what she truly thought he was? He was glad that she saved him? He was glad that she was there last night instead of Oda? No, it couldn’t be. No one wanted her around, no one was glad that she was alive.
She had already come to terms with it, forced herself to not notice the hurt that each rejection brought, and here in Yokohama she thought it would have been the same.
So hearing his desire for her presence caused Asagao her heart to falter immediately.
He was glad that she was here .
Just then, she saw Osamu’s face drop with concern only for her mind to wonder what caused such an expression. Why was he looking at her like that?
Yet that’s when she felt the distant presence of wet realization only for Asagao to push her shaky hands up to her cheeks and find tears descending down her face. Wait, she was crying? She had never allowed herself to do that before.
Immediately gasping at the sight, Asa then blinked back to life before brushing the insecurity from her fingers in order to give an embarrassed laugh under her breath. “S-Sorry, I just thought I’d never hear that.”
Dazai only sat wordless though, his heart twisting in pain at the sight of her strange tears. He didn’t like seeing her like that, it made him feel sick, like something restless had shaken him.
Did she truly believe that? All this time, she thought she would never be meaningful to someone? How absurd. She was a marvel, a rarity that anyone would be lucky to have next to them.
Who wouldn’t have killed to have her fingers massage their scalp like she did for him? Who wouldn't have given up everything in the world to receive just a sliver of the overwhelming adoration and devotion from her?
The whole world had undermined her so unfairly. But Dazai didn’t, he knew how exceptional she was firsthand, down to the deepest depths of her heart.
So much so, the boy felt his eyes drop with realization. It was too late, wasn’t it? He had already lost the game, he had gotten attached. Wholeheartedly, selflessly and completely.
Keeping a distance, stepping away, it didn’t help one bit. In fact, it only made him desire her presence even more, like it was the air he needed to keep on breathing.
What had she done? What a mistake it was, making him cling to her like this.
Didn’t she know he couldn’t let go now?
Pushing his eyes back up to Asagao’s, the boy then called back to her, giving up completely and allowing himself to break the wall between them. “So, what’s for dinner?”
The look on her face was one he would never forgot, a sight to behold indeed
Without even thinking about it, Asagao immediately grabbed onto his metaphorical hand and fell straight into the pit without second thought as her shock filled eyes morphed into giddy excitement.
And though he said nothing else, Asagao knew the hidden meaning behind his question immediately.
He was asking to stay.
-----
(Hope you liked the long update and you made it all the way through. The two parts connect to each other so I guess It's not all bad that I missed an upload here. I'll be better about it though. Also I'm almost at 1k reads on A03. Very excited! Let me know how you feel about the chapter. I love validation just as much as Asa hehe)
Song used in the chapter: "Lend Me Your Voice" from Belle (which is totally Asa and Osu's song in this fic.)
(Hello! I wrote a small wip for a Dazai song while working on the next chapter chapter for my fanfic. Thought I’d share it here also. I posted to Tik Tok as well if you wanna support me over there. I write lots of songs and stuff. @auranova_vtuber)
Wanna read my Dazai x Female Character Fanfic?
A03 link here
Lyrics:
I want you to want me
But never to touch me
I need you to see me
But never to perceive me
I know you so clearly
My tricks are so revealing
Subversion oh so easy
No longer human, greedy
I show the canvas
But never the picture
You take an image
with a blurry offset fixture
A smile of fools
The crafted response
Anything to get you
to lower your guard
And never look into my heart
Cause what you’ll find
Isn’t clean or new
Imperfect skin
scarred and etched into
All pushed together by
The worlds flimsiest glue
With deceiving words I always
Feed to you
Wrapped by tightly
By a layer of gauze
Pull back the cause
You’ll see the facade
Of the scared little boy
Who drowns in his calls
Always left unanswered
Always building walls
And he’s scared
Cause he knows they’ll be disappointed
With what you find
He’s prepared
He hates himself so of course
They’d conclude the crime
(Let me know if I should finish this and if you want more. I love writing some good angst hehe)
