ASH

full time sweetie pie. 25. @ashleyamaribrock

[ashleysmyspace]

Having an older brother who’s a classified narcissist, AND yes I know this term is very overused, but TRUST me when I tell you that he constantly brings chaos wherever he goes. He causes our mother so much STRESS and appoints her as his damage controller.

He treats me like pure shit even though I am one of his only biological “half” sisters. He’s mean. He’s a bully. And he hates himself so much that he treats others how he feels about himself.

We are total opposites but it truly makes me feel so bad about the fact that I, myself, am not doing the best that I could/should be doing at 25. I’m TRYING my HARDEST to be a better daughter for my mother—a better person, a better version of me so SHE can be at peace and not have to worry about me, even when she’s gone. But it’s so fucking hard. Honestly.

Someday I’ll get better. I know it. 1% everyday. But saying all that, I don’t know how much longer me and my brother will be “close” or have a “relationship”. I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate the way he speaks to people, the way he acts when he doesn’t get his way, the way he treats our mom, ME, his father, his OTHER siblings, his “girlfriends”, his OWN DAUGHTER… my fucking niece. I’m just overly disappointed and disgusted. This has to stop.

I’m over this shit. The non-stop bullshit. General trauma and habits. I want it to end. It WILL end with me. Idgaf WHAT I have to do.

God please help me. I’m begging.

[ashleysmyspace]

damn this was long ASF lmfao #oversharingmuch??? But honestly it’s just the principle. I love my brother with every fiber in me. I’m his little sister so regardless if that’s how it’s SUPPOSED to go, I love him. But I DO NOT like him.

If he doesn’t get right, then I’ll just do it by myself. For OUR mother.

[ashleysmyspace]

Having an older brother who’s a classified narcissist, AND yes I know this term is very overused, but TRUST me when I tell you that he constantly brings chaos wherever he goes. He causes our mother so much STRESS and appoints her as his damage controller.

He treats me like pure shit even though I am one of his only biological “half” sisters. He’s mean. He’s a bully. And he hates himself so much that he treats others how he feels about himself.

We are total opposites but it truly makes me feel so bad about the fact that I, myself, am not doing the best that I could/should be doing at 25. I’m TRYING my HARDEST to be a better daughter for my mother—a better person, a better version of me so SHE can be at peace and not have to worry about me, even when she’s gone. But it’s so fucking hard. Honestly.

Someday I’ll get better. I know it. 1% everyday. But saying all that, I don’t know how much longer me and my brother will be “close” or have a “relationship”. I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate the way he speaks to people, the way he acts when he doesn’t get his way, the way he treats our mom, ME, his father, his OTHER siblings, his “girlfriends”, his OWN DAUGHTER… my fucking niece. I’m just overly disappointed and disgusted. This has to stop.

I’m over this shit. The non-stop bullshit. General trauma and habits. I want it to end. It WILL end with me. Idgaf WHAT I have to do.

God please help me. I’m begging.

[ashleysmyspace]

Adulthood is so wocky

[ashleysmyspace]

Something gotta give with my sleep schedule smh

[lacedcherrie]

[ashleysmyspace]

A whole BUNCH of NONSENSE >:(

[silkangelkisses]

[littya06]

i’m seriously spiraling

[ashleysmyspace]

being back on here after like 3/4 years is so crazy😭!! I deadass came back because insta, that clock app and threads has become SUPER overstimulating like ewwwwlk!!! Tumblr will always be that girl doe