im not a stranger things acc at all BUT, tiktok’s made me annoyed so heres a frustrated queer rant.
will coming out was not beautiful, it was sad. the acceptance he received was heartwarming, sure, to see a queer person who has built up fear of being abandoned after coming out not have to face that reality is nice - but his coming out was not this beautiful heartwarming acceptance of himself, it was fear. fear that the same person who traumatised him and took over his adolescent body when he was a little kid would be able to overpower him from how extreme his fear was of not being loved anymore after coming out, that he knew he had to fight in the final vecna battle - but couldnt unless he came out, because he was mortified that the fear would be used against him again and he’d cause more deaths from his fear of not being accepted after already feeling so much self blame for peoples deaths he didnt have any intention to cause.
thats not beautiful. a beautiful coming out doesnt stem from fear that if you dont, everyone you love may die and the person you fear the most may use your queer fear against you. will was blubbering, crying and stuttering trying to express something he wasnt quite ready to say.
and on top of it all, forced to repress his feelings for his lifelong childhood love and reduce it to mike just ‘being his tammy’ - because he only has one queer person to go to for advice, someone who’s experiences are very different than his. so he reduces it to a silly crush, as if he only liked mike for a while and realised he wasnt the one the same way robin had experienced her first queer love. even though, will has loved mike through every phase of his life, through every milestone and challenge and never faulted in the concept that he loves mike, until being forced to convince himself he didnt anymore just so he could cope with his fear that if he admitted he still loved mike, it could ruin more of his life then just simply coming out would. it would be coming out and telling his best friend he loved him.
will’s coming out was pain and fear induced. not a deep acceptance of who he was to the point that he was finally joyful and confident enough to share. this is what happens when straight people only use their straight experiences to write queer fiction.
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jacobvanloon
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