the human life is a strained and tense one. i envy the life of a smooth rock resting on the beach… warmed by the sun… unaware of the trials and tribulations of sentient life…
do you need to talk
i wish i was a croissant
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@asiansugarsydney
the human life is a strained and tense one. i envy the life of a smooth rock resting on the beach… warmed by the sun… unaware of the trials and tribulations of sentient life…
do you need to talk
i wish i was a croissant
best advice you’d give a girl?
-Hone in on what you love doing right now and don’t stop doing it. Anything like painting, theater, reading, etc. will become grounding activities as you grow older, and you’ll find it imperative to stick to your roots.
-The best thing you can do is live for you. Not for anyone else. Let people guide you but don’t ever let them overrule you. You make yourself, so ensure that the you you’re creating is authentic.
-Don’t wait until you do so and so to feel ready for something else. Keep active plans to get to your goals.
-Don’t talk to anybody romantically until you know who you are first. People won’t be able to connect with you on that level if you can’t first connect with yourself. Also, don’t bother “holding” anyone down but yourself. People are fickle, you exist until you don’t.
-When we transition from girlhood to womanhood, most of the time we still hide behind “older” people because we see them as more knowledgeable. You have to let that idea go. Adults are just as stupid as kids, except they can legally drink. Don’t be afraid to put your voice out there, even if it opposes seniority.
-Learn how to create and cultivate friends that genuinely care for you. Those people that barely text you or forget about you when events come up are not your friends. Don’t take bullshit from them because you don’t want to be lonely.
-Learn moderation. Partying, drugs, sex, etc. all become more prevalent as you grow older and there’s nobody to tell you to stop but yourself. Don’t become an alcoholic because you didn’t wanna seem like a drag to some drunkhappy friends.
-Don’t wait until later to start building a financial foundation for yourself. Get a good savings account now, adopt a budgeting method, look into investing. Go to seminars and conferences about money even if you’re the youngest person in the room. You will be lightyears ahead of your peers.
-Find value in slightly older friends. They’ll show you what you shouldn’t do and help prepare you for your future. It’s how I know the majority of the things I do.
-Avoid quick gratification. It’ll satiate you for a while but you will still be hungry for something better afterwards.
-Being alone is important. I highly recommend living alone before you get roommates (if that’s financially affordable) because you learn not to base your identity off of other people’s belongings. Our homes become an extension of us. You need to learn how to be independent and how to cultivate your space free of others’ opinion. You need to cook naked in the morning and dance in your living room at night. It is a feeling of freedom that is irreplaceable, and it’ll be one you always remember if someone tries to make you dependent on them. Outside of your living space, go to museums and festivals and operas alone. Have fun. Make new friends. Realize that you shine just fine all on your own. You are not meant to be hidden behind other personalities in your friend group all the time.
-Everything you do, learn how to do it well. And then learn how to turn that well into damn near perfect. Always strive for the best when your work is representing you.
-Deletion ain’t nothing but an action boo. Somebody unimportant is annoying you? Delete! Instagram feed making you too mad? Delete! Friend refuses to do right by you? Delete! Of course you need to develop communication tactics but some people don’t deserve that time and don’t you waste it on them either. Anything you don’t want in your life, you can get rid of. Remember that. You don’t have to stay suffering.
Life update
Hi ladies! It’s been a while. Allow me to provide you all with a brief update during my hiatus from sugaring and Tumblr.
I’ve met someone 7 years older who owns his own company, I’m going spoiled gf with him. Also, university for me has now started, for the most part I thoroughly enjoy it. Business is such a diverse course!
I’m opening up a business with my mother in one of the most affluent areas in Sydney and we are both about to quit our current jobs in order to fulfil our dream. Our landlord is seriously beautiful.. 29, inherited his fathers company and 10 other buildings in the CBD. If I wasn’t with my current man, y’all know I would make a move :( Maybe I’ll set one of you ladies up with him LMAO
My sugar life is something in the past now, I want something real and more beneficial - not an escort reject client who can only provide me with a set allowance that I can make by myself in a week. I’m asking for more.
Until then, I’ll be MIA from this blog but I will come and update every so often. Take care of yourselves ladies x
Once you’ve established yourself, low-class people are truly exhausting to be around. Their lack of ambition, poverty-based mindset, and inability to provide becomes a drain on your resources.
The Time I Was Almost Murdered as a SB
**WARNING** This might be triggering for some people!!! **WARNING**
So while I’m sitting here with a little free time, I’m going to attempt to write out a description of the time I put myself in a very dangerous situation and really still to this day feel in my heart of hearts if I hadn’t escaped I would have been killed.
I think it’s really responsible to post the good as well as the bad parts of this lifestyle; this story is obviously filed under the bad.
So, here it goes.
I was still new to the sugar bowl, relatively anyway, and seeing this man named Hank. He seemed nice enough. He was a little quiet and a little shy, the sex was boring to say the least, but he was self made and seemed like he liked me or at least found me charming. The allowance was basically nonexistent but he’d drop me some cash here and there; he always said he didn’t want to treat me like a “hooker” which was annoying but I was naive then.
We had been talking for a few weeks and had seen each other a few times when he asked me to go out of town with him. He had a cabin and the pictures of the surrounding area were gorgeous. I was going stir crazy in the city and thought a weekend surrounded by nature would be a great idea.
I didn’t tell anyone where I was really going. I didn’t want anyone to catch on to the fact that I was a SB and so I lied to my friends and family about where I’d actually be spending my weekend, something I’ll never do again.
We hit a terrible storm on the way up to the cabin, and it slowed us down so much we decided to grab a motel (a cheap, sleazy motel) room for the night. We went to a nearby store and got some sodas, a couple snacks, and while we were in town Hank said we should get some liquor. I’d never seen him pick up a drink before, he always declined wine and beer even, but I wasn’t worried.
When we got back he immediately started drinking, and that’s when things took a turn. His demeanor changed dramatically. I was a little tipsy myself and in a flirty move, but he was different. He was looking at me with completely different eyes and I could feel this inescapable tension in the room.
I asked him what was wrong and he brushed me off. I decided to try to make him feel better with sex, I thought it might help. I came up behind him and instead of reacting nicely he shook me off and called me a whore, which stung. Things got worse quickly. We ended up in an argument, a mostly one sided screaming match from him, and then he hit me. He slapped me so hard across the face I almost fell over. He grabbed my wrists and pinned me on the bed and proceeded to rape me. I didn’t think of it as rape for a while after that, it was but it took me quite a while to process that and accept it. I don’t really like to talk about it, and I kind of block it out now.
After that Hank decided he wanted to get some dinner. He was drinking still, and becoming colder and colder. As we were getting ready to walk out I grabbed my purse, which had my phone in it, but he told me to leave it. I was afraid of angering him more, so I set my bag back down. He rummaged through his suitcase and pulled out a gun which made me so nauseous I almost threw up right there. He said he couldn’t be too careful as he put it on the holster in his pants. I knew before that he had a concealed carry but I also knew that he was threatening me with it.
I didn’t think we’d actually go to the restaurant; I thought my life was over, but when we pulled up I was so relieved I almost cried. I did cry, actually, but the pouring rain outside masked it somewhat, otherwise he would have been more angry.
When we walked into the lobby, he told me not to make a scene “or else”. I nodded. He muttered something about me being a “worthless tramp” under his breath. He hated me, that much I knew. I didn’t know if it was the alcohol or if he’d always hated me.
My mother once told us, as kids, that if somebody ever tried to kidnap us to never go with them. Even if they were holding a gun to you, don’t let them get you alone. She said if you’re in public, they might kill you. If they have you alone, they’ll definitely kill you. When we sat down and Hank said we should just drive up to the cabin instead of staying the night, I realized if I left the restaurant with him he might kill me. I felt it deep in my gut that if I left the restaurant with him, I would be signing my own execution orders.
I was afraid though. I was afraid of causing a scene. I wanted to do it quietly. Of course, we were already making quite a scene. Hank was all over me, touching me in appropriately, while the tears quietly fell down my face. Our waiter looked beyond alarmed. The manager even came over at one point and asked if everything was ok; Hank said it was and I nodded along silently, trying to make sure the manager saw the desperation in my eyes.
I was trying to think of a way to get their attention. The restaurant was deserted except for us; they were close to closing when we walked in, so I knew somehow I’d have to get the waiter’s attention. I thought about trying to mouth “help me” but Hank was watching me like a hawk.
I ordered chicken and mashed potatoes with lots of extra gravy. I love that meal; if I had to pick a last meal from that little restaurant’s menu, I figured that was it. I was desperately trying to think of a plan when our food arrived. My food was a little cold, especially the mashed potatoes and gravy. I couldn’t eat; I sat there pushing my food around back and forth, and as I drug my fork tongs through the gravy I realized something: the gravy was so thick, and cold enough that the impressions I made in it stayed.
Hank snapped at me, telling me to eat my food not play with it. “Well I would, but these potatoes are cold!” He told me they were fine and I told him to try them, he agreed they were cold. He yelled at the waiter to come get them.
Quickly, with the tongs of my fork, I wrote “HELP ME” in the pool of gravy. “Her food is cold,” Hank told him.
“Yes, especially the gravy. the gravy is super cold,” I told him, praying he’d understand. He looked nonplussed and my hopes felt dashed.
Then, I saw the manager walking toward us, He gave me a quick smile, and it felt like my heart leaped out of my chest. “I’m so sorry about the food ma’am, but I just want you to know that we have the situation under control.”
A few minutes later, the manger came back and told Hank there had been an issue with his card; the stupid drunk didn’t even realize he hadn’t given them his card. The police were there, and I had literally never felt so grateful in my entire life as I crumpled into a sobbing mess.
In the end, Hank never faced repercussions for raping me. The police didn’t care and weren’t on my side; to my fellow SWs, they won’t be on your side either, more than likely. Law and Order: SVU is a great show, but most cops don’t care about SWs. But I’m alive; that is something I’m terribly grateful for.
I don’t really have a moral of the story except to be careful, and like my mother taught me: don’t ever allow them to get you alone.
Holy shit that was so scary to read. Glad you are okay!!!
I am so glad you have survived that hun. Very scary to read/hear about these kinds of things
I’m about to cry and throw up reading this. You are the bravest person I know. I’m so glad you were able to get out alive…. How traumatizing. I can’t.
Is there a psychological term for this? Older men having depressive/irrational manic reaction during intimate moments? I have witnessed the three times emotional changes during dates and I call it the Jekyll & Hyde but I wonder if it has to do with the hormones?
Obtaining Results
To state things bluntly: Demand more, and start teaching men their place. It’s unfortunate, because I see the pattern with both girls who’ve gained experience and girls new to the industry that they place significant time, effort, and devotion into men who clearly have nothing significant to offer, and I imagine with the cold winter months coming and business beginning to slow down, a significant number of paid companions will be looking for arrangements or be susceptible to compromising their standards as well. Even women who have successfully entered an arrangement for a long-period of time or were spoiled girlfriends and kept women often seem to struggle with setting the standards for a new arrangement, and I would argue that in large part, this wasted effort comes from the conflicting messages that surround how exactly to get a man to spend money on you. Furthermore, just because a man gives you money - or if a man is willing to spend on you, does not mean that he is worth the time and energy.
In large part, I would argue that this effort comes from the belief that you need to prove yourself, you need to exhibit yourself as high-class, or otherwise give up something in order to have a successful arrangement or session. Let me say this: You don’t have to do shit. I see all of this nonsense about wearing the right designer fit, crafting the perfect text message with a singular emoji, and supposedly applying manipulation and playing mind games to obtain what you want. You don’t have to do any of that, and perhaps the women who gave this advice used these tactics to obtain a result, but in reality, this has little to no effect on your rate of success. These are just individual things that they themselves do and feel comfortable with - and that’s great, because they then exhibit a sense of authenticity and expression of their personality, which perhaps lets them procure a successful arrangement, but it’s really not the end goal or point. Pick and choose what you like, what you feel comfortable with, and then be at the right place and at the right time, then to be frank, you shouldn’t have any problem. If you have difficulty with finding the right clientele, I might suggest that you’re looking in the wrong places.
Here is what will happen: he will spend, or he will not. He has the funds, or he does not. He is either generous, or he is not generous. Those are the literal only two things that will happen, and as much as we might like to think that we can manipulate someone into paying, more often than not, the expectation is set by the very first meeting and he already knows whether or not he will spend. Ultimately, everything else is irrelevant, given that we’re looking to be paid. All of the rambling about whether he wants to see you in person first, as he bumbles and blathers about the need for “chemistry”, requiring you to jump through unnecessary hoops is just a disguise for his absence of generosity, inability to understand the rules and standards of a paid companion, and his uselessness. Please stop entertaining unworthy time-wasters who clearly exhibit red flags. You will get nothing substantial out of it.
Some authentic and genuine men are looking to get to know a person and perhaps, would like to initiate conversation and meet you prior to starting an arrangement. That’s perfectly fine, and these are not the time-wasters that I am talking about. Real candidates will know exactly what you’re looking for. The minute that someone significantly younger and attractive matches with them, they should know exactly what you’re looking for, what is about to happen, and should act in accordance with that. That means that even when they initiate conversation, they do so in a respectful way. There’s the discussion of following your intuition, and to some degree that is true, but ultimately, I would argue that there are clear patterns and signs that men exhibit that indicate whether they are a worthwhile client or not.
What I qualify as red flags: If a man attempts to neg you - to insult your appearance, the way that you dress, or otherwise tries to dismiss you in a disrespectful way, particularly on the first match, I report, block, and unmatch. He is trying to attempt to establish a power imbalance. Ignore. The instant a man tries to bring up something vaguely sexual, for instance, calling you ‘baby’, asking for a ‘home date’, or even mentioning a ‘cuddle’ without giving you money, you know this is the wrong man and he is evidently trying to get something for free. An actually genuine man interested in an arrangement will never ask, even if you all text back and forth. if he asks about your body or your measurements or for inappropriate photos, it’s the exact same scenario. Ignore or report. If he tries to make some sort of false justification about the need to know where his money is going, then he is trying to lie and manipulate. Men know the instant they see your pictures and photos whether they like you. Anything else is bullshit.
As for in-person dates, it might be inappropriate to ask for something on the first date if it’s not a client who found you through your website profile. In that scenario, suggest that you meet first. If it’s at a low-brow restaurant, or ‘fun bar’, this is not a substantive candidate. To be honest, any quality client will know that he has to spend to impress you - and every single regular or SD that I’ve had in which I met them in person has not hesitated to splurge on the first date. If it’s not three dollar signs on Yelp/Google, then I don’t go, as this is an indicator this man is not generous, and thus, has nothing significant to offer. There is also significant discussion about, even if a date goes well, how to move forward, how to acquire a regular or an arrangement. Literally, just ask. I’ve come to the conclusion that beating around the bush or trying to communicate in hidden terminology is useless. Just ask for an arrangement. There is no secret code or means of manipulation - he will either say yes or no. If he says no or if he’s not comfortable with those terms of arrangement, I believe that there is nothing more to be gained from the situation. He might be a Splenda, he might pay for dates, he might buy you a few gifts, but at the end of the day, he will not contribute to your pockets. Move on and secure the bag elsewhere.
Freestyling is a Lifestyle
I remember coming across a post talking about how you should be “freestyling” everywhere you are. And I’ve worked super hard to adopt this mindset as of lately. I’m also dressed as if I might meet the whale of my dreams.
Have I?
Nope.
But I’ve had my groceries paid for by random strangers, had men buy me things while I’m shopping, had thousand dollar bottles sent over to me etc. and some of these men do become POTs, yes- but honestly most of them are regular degular men lol.
Once you radiate that “kept woman” energy there’s nothing else in your way. Men fall at your fucking feet .
It’s not only good practice for the long run but now I have even more cash to invest into myself. As I improve my physical looks and the way I present myself I can only see more success coming my way.
He’s out here sounding like my old ass asian aunties at family gatherings. “YOU GOT BOYPREN???”
Ugh
I hate when older business men who screem corporate/executive see me at restaurants or just out and about and just stare or keep making glances like they want to approach but are too hesitant because of obvious age difference. We’ll make eye contact or I’ll look inviting and they still look too skeptical or scared to approach.
Like dude I’m internally screaming that I FEEN for that high income earning, executive D*ck like COME AT ME DADDY
Why are Tinder guys so eager to put their height in their bio. I don’t care how long your body is, how long is your wallet?
My Ideal Man
(Which I’m working on manifesting)
Makes at least $3 million a year.
Preferably has family money/inheritance as well.
Takes me on at least 4 luxurious trips a year.
Is 100% in love with me
Gives me practically everything I want and need.
Supports and aids me in my career ambitions.
Gives me complete access to his credit and debit cards.
Is attractive to me (no matter what his age)
This is pretty much it lol. I feel like that’s honestly not asking a lot…
What do y’all want in your future mate?
What to say to a “I hate condoms” ass motherfucker:
“I also hate pregnancies, incurable STDs, vaginal bacterial infections, and men who aren’t responsible enough to care about their sexual health.”
No offense but literally nothing and no one is and will ever be out of your league. Nothing is too good for you. Nobody has the right to make you feel like you are not enough or less than you are, you deserve the world.
What exactly do sugar babies do with a SD if sex is not involved? Is it just shopping and traveling
At first it may appear that it’s just “shopping and traveling”, but the reality is, not all of us like to shop and not all of us get to travel with our SD’s.
The activities that play out in each arrangement will vary according to the interests, desires, hobbies, social settings, need for discretion, locations, careers/schooling choices and financial limitations faced by each SD and SB. The two of them together, will decide what works best for them and what they want from/out of their time spent together.
For example: My SD and I rarely go “clothes” shopping, its just a personal preference that I would rather use his funds that he allots to be spent on me, in a different way. I don’t want a pair of shoes for $2,000, but I do want high end cabinets and counter tops for my kitchen (whatever I’m working on at the moment), as I am renovating my home as an investment. He knows this, so it’s just something that if we do go shopping, it’s actually for him and if its for me, it’s not a new skirt but rather something from a home store.
Since we still see each other almost once a week, I can understand how you’d be curious as to what we do to keep busy…
Things we do:
* Read the paper together while out and about and discuss current events.* Go to the movies or theatre.* Go out for coffee and discuss/vent or brag (that’s me not him lol) about our careers.* Browse home renovating stores to get ideas.* Assist him with picking out personal items for his wife and family.* Test drive cars and equipment that his company is purchasing.* Engage in kinky sex if the mood is right.* Run daily mundane errands together.* Go for either breakfast, lunch, snacks or suppers together.* Go skating on outdoor rinks in neat little neighbourhoods or downtown under the lights (Eh Canada!)* Sits with me at the dealership while I get new tires, an oil change etc.* Tour his properties together to see progress.* Stroll through the zoo.* Go shopping, if its for personal items it usually corresponds to the changing seasons: snow = knee high boots, summer = maxi dresses etc. (I’m too practical, to a fault sometimes). * Text each other during our favourite tv shows and discuss the ridiculousness of it all. * Meet at cafes to listen and offer advice with personal matters.* Share different events that are happening in our city, that the other may be interested in doing with their spouse or friends. * Check out live bands and concerts.* Browse book stores or technology stores.* Attend “home shows” or “sportsman shows” together.* Go to the shooting range and watch me fail miserably.* We have run out to help the other when they have had a random need or forgotten something…like his wife’s dress at the dry cleaner and it closes in 10 minutes and he lives an hour away lol, amongst my own forgetful things! * Sit with a tea and people watch, and discuss random topics that neither of us will remember.* I assist him with his work in proof reading proposals/reports.* Go bowling.* Email each other restaurant websites, with their reviews and menus and discuss when it will fit into our schedules or if the other is even interested.* Go for walks along the water front (He’s 57, there’s no jogging here lol)* Go shopping for him, to “spruce him up”. My favourite thing lately on him is Rock Revival Jeans* Browse our local farmers market on a Saturday morning, then head our separate ways for the weekend.* Go for drives* Check out new exhibits at both our big art gallery and the smaller independent ones. * Play pool and pretend to be sad when I lose but laugh when I claim all my “shit shots”.* We have taken a cooking class (one night a week for 4 weeks) and we have resigned to eating in restaurants lol* We have travelled together, within Canada, but have no desire to go over seas together, due to other commitments.* Go to the casino, to see drag races and horse races. (He’s a gambler while I’m a penny pincher!)
Basically, what I would do with a loved one, wether it’s a friend, boyfriend or husband, I will do with my SD. I do realize that we are able to do quite a bit together, and this is a combination of our work and family schedules. Our family needs/wants come first and then our personal agendas come second.
So, the above is a list of the things that I do/have done on our dates (plus other small random things) and probably similar for other SB’s. But there is also a list of what we as SB’s “are” to our SD’s.
Things that we are:
* Nurses* Personal Therapists* Teachers* Project Managers* Confidants* Supporters* Critics* Interior Designers* Business Partners* Assistants* Advisors* Self Esteem Boosters* Health Promoters * Consultants* Travel Companions* Scapegoats* Motivators * Lovers* Tax write-offs * Supporters* Financial advisors* Secretaries* Illusionists * Personal Stylist* Personal Trainers* Counsellors* Nutritionists* Travel Agents* Sex Therapists* Tour Guides (local or afar)* Friends* Etc Etc
I know that it was not your intent, but to say (think) that an SB only goes shopping and travels, can be seen as a bit of an insult to some of us. Even though we may love to do these things…at the end of the day, there’s simply so much more to it than just browsing a mall.
How do you give deep gratitude?
When I normally give gratitude, I say “thank you universe for x, y, z.” But when I give deep gratitude, I do one or several of these things:
I take time to reflect back and see how far I’ve come. I immerse myself in the FEELING of being grateful, rather than just saying it. I write a thank you letter to someone who has impacted my life. I tell someone else or multiple people of something that I’m grateful for and share how giving gratitude can help them. Basically, I take more of an action to SHOW that I am grateful.
Why Zsa Zsa Gabor was the ultimate trophy wife of Old Hollywood
She was married nine! times & her husbands were all dirty rich men, mostly: hotel mogul, investor, businessman, an earl & and a prince. She’s been known for being a huge siren and was good friends with icons like Marilyn Monroe, Frank Sinatra and Greta Garbo.
“I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.”
I always said marriage should be a fifty-fifty proposition. He should be at least fifty years old, and have at least fifty-million dollars.“
“I believe in large families. Every woman should have at least three husbands.”
“My husband said it was him or the cat. I miss him sometimes.”
“How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?”
“There’s no better money to spend than your own.”
“My most favorite joke is that to keep a marriage, the husband should have a night out with the boys and the wife should have a night out with the boys, too.”
“I don’t take gifts from perfect strangers—but then, nobody is perfect.”
“I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?”
“I’m a marvelous housekeeper: every time I leave a man - I keep his house.
I deleted every single straight man who doesn’t give me money out of my life. ❤️