Asja

art, witchcraft and my pictures

[asjavidovic]

19.08.2022.🌗

[hatin]

“Don’t let fear stop you from doing the thing you love.”

— Buster Moon (via neckkiss)

[you-look-good-sober]

“Addiction begins with the hope that something “out there” can instantly fill up the emptiness inside.”

— Jean Kilbourne

[vil-is-my-baby]

“Self-destruction Self-destruction isn’t snorting the line on the party just because you want to try it for fun and thinking “I’ll do it just once, just to try it!” Self-destruction isn’t going out and drinking a little too much sometimes. Self-destruction is taking that line even you know what will happen, knowing the side effect of that. It’s taking that line, not because of fun or people around you, it’s because you have that urge inside you that tells you to do it, to fuck yourself up. Self-destruction is going out with the intention to get drunk and not know about yourself the whole time just because you feel something inside of yourself that needs to be destroyed. You don’t drink because you’re sad or happy, you drink to kill that something inside of you. Self-destruction is that smoke of cigarette you just took. You didn’t start smoking because of people around you make you do it, you started smoking because you heard it’s bad for you. Now you’re addicted. Or maybe you aren’t but you still do it. Self-destruction is when you go to some random person you met at the bar house because of sex. You don’t know who he is, you could be anybody, you could end up dead, raped, you don’t know it won’t happen, but you go anyway. You know all the risks but you do it anyway. Self-destruction is pushing people away and making yourself antisocial on purpose. Self-destruction is popping painkillers even if you aren’t in pain. Self-destruction is getting into fights on purpose. Self-destruction is letting your id doing whatever you want. Self-destruction is a lot of things, but it’s never a choice. Self-destruction isn’t mental illness. Self-destruction isn’t when you break up with your boyfriend so you lock your room and cry or go out and get drunk to forget about him. Self-destruction is something in people, something that pulls you to the edge. It’s the sweetest sin of all of them. You can fight it, but it always wins. People keep saying to fight it like if they can fight it, you can fight it also, but if you are a really self-destructive you can’t fight it and you know it. It’s part of your reality, your life. Not all alcoholics are self-destructive. Not all addicts are self-destructive. Not all drug addicts are self-destructive. Not all who are depressive are self-destructive. Not all alcoholics are self-destructive. Not all addicts are self-destructive. Not all drug addicts are self-destructive. I smoke, I drink, I take pills – I’m not addicted to any of that. I do it do destroy myself. I don’t hate myself, I’m very far from hating myself. But some people do hate themselves. Some do, some don’t. everybody is different. If somebody asked me why I do what I do I wouldn’t know how to answer. I know what is the goal, but I don’t know the main reason beside something self-destructive inside me. For example, I know what heroin does to people but I’d love to try it. But I’ll never do it. Not because I don’t want to, but because I know what would it do to people around me. I don’t want to fuck them up. I want to fuck me up. And there are ways to do it without hurting somebody constantly. People who are self-destructive don’t want to harm you, they want to harm themselves.”

— T.S. aka me/ things i never said out loud

[geopsych]

Grasses in the wind.

[creatingnikki]

How to get over a heartbreak

1. Know that your heart is strong. Breaking happens only after a lot of pressure and endurance. It wouldn’t have been able to take so much if it wasn’t strong.  2. Know that your heart will heal. Have some faith in it. It had so much faith in you all this time even though you didn’t always make the right choices.  3. Time heals everything words cannot. You can read this post and hundred others but what you need is time. It passes, it always does. Remember how the good times passed away?  4. You can’t get over it, you have to get through it. It is a tunnel decorated with pictures of good times that aren’t accessible anymore. Some parts have glass shards and some have wilted flowers. You will hear echoes of laughter and loveable words but they fade away. There isn’t much light but there is light. Once you get through it, you will be able to look back and not bleed. You will be able to carry on and be happy. 

5. Take your time with discarding their things. Pictures, letters, texts, gifts. It’s been a year and I still can’t do away with the letters. I don’t read them anymore but I can’t throw them out just yet. And that’s okay.  6. Don’t assume how happy they are or what kind of life it seems like they are living now. Because your Instagram may be filled with happy pictures but is your heart right now? Others are no different. Assuming will only cause you unnecessary pain and comparing will further empty your heart.  7. Your heart doesn’t need any more emptying. It needs to be filled. With your attention and care. Sign up for that yoga class. Go for that open mic. Say yes to sleeping in on Sundays and having full breakfasts.  8. Don’t talk in absolutes. Don’t say you will ‘never’ love again or will ‘never’ meet/trust someone again. Remember when you said your love was ‘forever’? Absolutes are redundant. Stop using them. Stop believing in them. Good and bad comes and goes. It’s a cycle like everything else natural.  9. Don’t bad mouth them or yourself. Don’t obsess over what you said and did and everything they didn’t. Dragging the past into your present is like tying your legs to a rock. How can you walk ahead?  10. Don’t be in a rush to forgive them. It’s okay if you aren’t ready. True forgiveness takes time. And it’s only true forgiveness that lets you genuinely move on and get out of the tunnel. Wanting to and actually being able to are two very different things.  11. Breathe. Your lungs are functioning even though your heart may make it seem like nothing is. Run if you have to. Your legs are functioning too. Cry as much. Your cheeks and eyes won’t hate you. 

[perrfectly]

“If you can love the wrong one so much, just imagine how much you can love the right one.”

— Brandon Stanton, Humans of New York

[alteriusnocte]

by Darja Bilyk

[the-wolf-and-moon]

Bulgaria Salt Flats, Where You Can Walk On The Sky

[rootsofpassion]

“Life is boring, except for flowers, sunshine, your perfect legs. A glass of cold water when you are really thirsty. The way bodies fit together. Fresh and young and sweet. Coffee in the morning. These are just moments. I struggle with the in-betweens. I just want to never stop loving like there is nothing else to do, because what else is there to do?”

— Pablo Neruda

[staceythinx]

Pressed flower clear phone cases from Flower Cases on Etsy

[nanocomputer]

THE LINK DOES NOT WORK SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME. I NEED THESE

[xx-thespiderqueen-xx]

“No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.”

— Carl Jung

[apocryphalstories]

Don’t ever give up the person that makes your heart sing and eyes sparkle and gives you an unimaginable thirst for life. People make mistakes, but if their eyes are opened, they can change. Be patient.

[vladtheunfollower]

Red Lotus Sea, Thailand

[nikitaagupta]

“I know you do these little things for me that simply go unnoticed, not always but sometimes. I know how often you eat what I like simply because I am having a bad day. I know how often you cancel your plans with your friends simply because I want to see you. I know how often you try to do things to make me smile because thats your favourite thing in the world. I know how often you call me, just to check up on me because i’m stressed out. I know how often you hold my hand so that I don’t bite my nails. I know how often you start kissing me because I’m about to cry. I know how often you tell me you love me because you know if you don’t, i might just start to overthink about every little thing. I know how often you try not to fight with me, even though everything I do makes you mad. I know how often you hold my hand while crossing the road because you’re scared that someone might run over me. I know how often you do these little things for me and I know I don’t tell you this often but each one of those little things makes me smile a little more and makes my day a little better. I know you do these little things for me that simply go unnoticed, not always but sometimes.”

— //nikitagupta

[itsprincesslivyyy-deactivated20]

Losing you wasn’t just a bad breakup, it was a heartache I would never get over. It wasn’t going out with friends to forget you, it was waking up at 3 am crying your name out. It wasn’t eating my heart out with ice cream and watching sad movies, it was getting physically sick every time I ate something it was eating crackers for days because that was the only thing I could keep down. It wasn’t going out to parties and kissing random boys to forget you, it was laying in bed for days staring at the ceiling and having no motivation to get up. It was taking the long way to class so I wouldn’t accidentally bump into you. It was sitting in class and trying my hardest not to break down crying. It was looking at our pictures and reading our old texts breaking down crying because I thought we were meant to last. It was constantly blaming myself for the way things ended.

itsprincesslivyyy

[wxtches-energies]

✨Reversed Tarot meanings 🔮

Wands:

Ace: Lack of energy, Lack of passion, Boredom

Two: Lack of planning, Disorganization, bad planning

Three: Obstacles, frustration, delays

Four: Instability, Lack of communication, Home conflicts

Five: Respecting differences, avoiding conflict

Six: Punishment, self-doubt, Lack of recognition

Seven: Feeling overwhelmed, give up, destroyed confidence

Eight: Obstacles, waiting, slowing down

Nine: Reaching burnout, exhaustion, fatigue

Ten: Instability to delegate, Lack of priorities

Page: Feeling caged, Lack of direction, negativity

Knight: Impulsivity, recklessness, anger

Queen: demanding, selfish, jealousy

King: Impulsive, overbearing, Unachieveable expectations

Cups:

Ace: Wasted emotions, emptiness, blocked creativity

Two: Tension, Imbalance, broken communication

Three: solitude, conformity, herd mentality

Four: Taking for granted, boredom, aloofness

Five: moving on, acceptance, finding peace

Six: unrealistic expectations, resisting change, clinging to the past

Seven: diversion, temptation, confusion

Eight: fear or loss, confusion, fear of the unknown

Nine: greed, smugness, dissatisfaction

Ten: shattered dreams, broken family, bad relationships

Page: escapism, immaturity, Lack of creativity

Knight: disappointment, moodiness

Queen: insecurity, coldness, dependence

King: manipulation, moodiness, trickery

Swords:

Ace: Confusion, brutality, chaos

Two: No right choice, lesser of two evils, confusion

Three: recovery, forgiveness, moving on

Four: stress, restlessness, burntout

Five: desire to forgive, desire to reconcile, lingering resentment

Six: unresolved issues, emotional baggage, resisting transition

Seven: turn a new leaf, desire to change, desire to reform

Eight: self acceptance, freedom, new perspective

Nine: fear, despair, Lack of objectivity

Ten: reviving, rejuvenation, inevitable end

Page: rushing through, all talk, Hastiness

Knight: No direction, unpredictability, disregard for consequences

Queen: cold heartedness, bitterness, cruel

King: Manipulative, cruel, criticism

Pentacles:

Ace: Missed chance, lost opportunity

Two: Loss of balance, disorganized, overwhelmed

Three: disorganized, Lack of teamwork, group conflict

Four: Greediness, possessiveness, stinginess

Five: Isolation, recovery

Six: selfishness, debt, stinginess

Seven: distractions, Lack of rewards, work without results

Eight: No focus, No ambition, No motivation

Nine: Obsession with work, setbacks, mistakes

Ten: Lack of stability, failure, Lack of resources

Page: daydreaming, laziness, impractality

Knight: laziness, work without reward, obsessiveness

Queen: worklife imbalance, smothering

King: Indulgance, sensuality, greed

Major arcana:

The fool: Inconsideration, recklessness, being taken advantage of

The magician: Trickery, illusions, out of touch

The high priestess: Lack of center, lost inner voice, repressed feelings

The empress: dependence, smothering, emptiness

The emperor: tyranny, rigidity, coldness

The heirophant: rebellion, subversiveness, new approaches

The lovers: loss of balance, one-sidedness, disharmony

The chariot: Lack of control, Lack of direction, aggression

Justice: dishonesty, unaccountability, unfairness

The hermit: Lonliness, isolation, lost your way

Wheel of fortune: no control, clinging to control, bad luck

Strength: self doubt, weakness, insecurity

The hanged man: stalling, needless sacrifice, fear of sacrifice

Death: Fear of change, holding on, stagnation

Temperance: excess, extremes, Lack of balance

The devil: Freedom, release, restoring control

The tower: disaster avoided, delaying disaster, fear of suffering

The star: Insecurity, discouragement, faithlessness

The moon: Confusion, fear, misinterpretation

The sun: negativity, depression, sadness

Judgement: Lack of self-awareness, doubt, self-loathing

The world: Incompletion, No closure, Incomplete goals