Ask The Bottom Brothers

The Bards straight out of Cornwall are here and ready to answer some questions! You can ask questions to Nick, Nigel, or both of us.

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

they did WHAT to the community guidelines

-nick

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Day 6 of quarantine: I have made friends with Dustball I Found Under The Couch (yes that’s his full name), the three eggs in our fridge that have gone bad so I can’t eat them (Eggbert, Eggward, and Robert), and the freckle on my left toe (Jefferson). Shakespeare the Frog is the Secretary for our Household Meetings. We’re actually a very well functioning household; we split up chores and everything, it’s great.

-Nick

I’m living in the same apartment as my father-in-law and I’m dying

-Nigel

[portiabottom]

Nick- do.. do you want us to order eggs that you can actually eat? Are you okay?

I don’t see what’s so bad about it Nigey! Besides yknow... being woken up at 5:30am every day. Not a fan of that- at ALL! But you know is what is sorta fun about all this? Having to sneak around like we’re all star-crossed and stuff, again. Somehow you’re still just as cute, cutie 😍

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

He keeps glaring at me whenever I call you “darling.” Or kiss you. Or hold your hand.

And he finished the Oreos without ASKING anyone if that was okay!!!

-Nigel

I’m So Lonely Here

-Nick

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Day 6 of quarantine: I have made friends with Dustball I Found Under The Couch (yes that’s his full name), the three eggs in our fridge that have gone bad so I can’t eat them (Eggbert, Eggward, and Robert), and the freckle on my left toe (Jefferson). Shakespeare the Frog is the Secretary for our Household Meetings. We’re actually a very well functioning household; we split up chores and everything, it’s great.

-Nick

I’m living in the same apartment as my father-in-law and I’m dying

-Nigel

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Okay, so I know I just dropped the whole coronavirus thing and left, so here’s the scoop.

What HAPPENED was I had to drive cross-country by myself to get a set piece for the theater I work at (long story, but rest assured I stayed 6 feet away from everyone the entire time and masked up and everything). It took 3 weeks to get there and back because the set piece is huge as hell and I had to drive a U-Haul, so I’m guessing I got COVID from a gas station or hotel or something.

On my way back I got a test just in case, fully expecting it to be negative, but!!! It was positive!!! I’m asymptomatic, and I’m SO lucky, but definitely don’t want to spread it. So now I’m quarantined in my apartment for 2 weeks while Bea, Isabel, and Jerry are staying at Nige and Portia’s. I am SUPREMELY lonely but I am able to have conversations with them through the walls of our kitchen which is nice and they leave me takeout and funny notes.

So, in summary, feel free to send asks, I genuinely have NOTHING to do and I’m anxious!

-Nick

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Nick Bottom Has Tested Positive For Coronavirus

[ask-bro-jerry]

Jeremiah Brooks Is Afraid That He Has Coronavirus

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

It’s Okay, Kissing The Homies Goodnight Doesn’t Transmit Covid- Wait No Does It Oh Shit

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Nick Bottom Has Tested Positive For Coronavirus

[portiabottom]

@ask-nick-and-nigel The babies and I are out on a little adventure right now, and I think we may have found a little friend!! Thoughts?

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

She......she’s perfect......:’)

-Nigel

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

@ask-bea-bottom can make some good chick an permission 👌🤤 bone app the teeth 😩🤯

-nick

[ask-bro-jerry]

I don’t actually know what’s happening in my life right now. Why am I on this website again? Why is Nick calling me hot? Questions that I have no answers to.

[portiabottom]

I mean- Sister Cathy DID used to say you were….oof… The Church Stud

[ask-bro-jerry]

It is the year of our Lord 2019, and I do not deserve to be reminded of Sister Cathy and the things she used to say about me. Nor does Nick deserve to be associated with her.

[portiabottom]

True… but I remember you being super cool!! You were really good at football, you’d make me some pretty delicious sandwiches- OH MY GOODNESS- do you remember that leather jacket mom bought you?!?

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

leather jacket….?

-nick

[ask-bro-jerry]

HELLO CAN WE PLEASE NOT BRING UP THESE THINGS IN PUBLIC PLACES

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Jerry tell me about the leather jacket

-nick

[ask-bro-jerry]

I don’t actually know what’s happening in my life right now. Why am I on this website again? Why is Nick calling me hot? Questions that I have no answers to.

[portiabottom]

I mean- Sister Cathy DID used to say you were….oof… The Church Stud

[ask-bro-jerry]

It is the year of our Lord 2019, and I do not deserve to be reminded of Sister Cathy and the things she used to say about me. Nor does Nick deserve to be associated with her.

[portiabottom]

True… but I remember you being super cool!! You were really good at football, you’d make me some pretty delicious sandwiches- OH MY GOODNESS- do you remember that leather jacket mom bought you?!?

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

leather jacket....?

-nick

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

y’all remember shakespeare the frog (2015)?

[portiabottom]

Oh sweet Shakespeare!! I was still pregnant with Lola when he was around!! My baby is too big now!! and I miss Shakespeare the frog 😭😭 Nigey- should we get a little pet for the apartment?!

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Maybe we could start with a fish? 😅 I kind of feel like the kids wouldn’t really understand how to take care of a hands-on pet and respect its boundaries.

-Nigel

[portiabottom]

I’d LOVE a fish!! We should let the kids name it! Oh this will be SO fun! 💞💞💞

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

tumblr- how do you take care of a fish? I want it to have enough space to thrive and not be a sad dead fishbowl fish...

-Nigel

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Bottoms?????? BOTTOMS??????? Y'all are still alive over here?? It's been 7000 years

Hell yeah! A LOT has happened during the Great Hiatus:

-I’m getting a decent amount of gigs as a director now, including directing Nigel’s debut published play!

-Shylock and Nostradamus are engaged (like. finally. I think we all saw that one coming.)

-I got over my internalized homophobia and am no longer ambiguous about the fact that I am indeed a Disaster Bi

-and more! I don’t think I’ll ever have a time to do a full Hiatus Summary but that’s def a start

-nick

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

y’all remember shakespeare the frog (2015)?

[ask-bea-bottom]

Press F to pay respects to Shakespeare the Frog

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

F F F F F F F F F F

-nick

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

y’all remember shakespeare the frog (2015)?

[portiabottom]

Oh sweet Shakespeare!! I was still pregnant with Lola when he was around!! My baby is too big now!! and I miss Shakespeare the frog 😭😭 Nigey- should we get a little pet for the apartment?!

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Maybe we could start with a fish? 😅 I kind of feel like the kids wouldn’t really understand how to take care of a hands-on pet and respect its boundaries.

-Nigel

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

y’all remember shakespeare the frog (2015)?

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

jeremiah……..hot?

[ask-bea-bottom]

Babe go the fuck to sleep

[ask-bro-jerry]

No, let’s hear him out!

[ask-bea-bottom]

Mmmmmm no

[ask-bro-jerry]

And why not? It’s 2019! We can hear out Nick’s ideas about how hot I am.

[ask-bea-bottom]

Or we could do literally anything else

[ask-bro-jerry]

Maybe in the morning you’ll be willing to discuss my attractiveness.

[ask-bea-bottom]

Don’t hold your breath

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

plot twist- Nigel posted this

-nick

[portiabottom]

Oh my goodness!! what is happening?! You boys are too funny 😂

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Don’t ask me, I’ve been avoiding him all morning, he keeps talking about Jerry and a man can only cringe so much in one day

-Nigel

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

jeremiah……..hot?

[ask-bea-bottom]

Babe go the fuck to sleep

[ask-bro-jerry]

No, let’s hear him out!

[ask-bea-bottom]

Mmmmmm no

[ask-bro-jerry]

And why not? It’s 2019! We can hear out Nick’s ideas about how hot I am.

[ask-bea-bottom]

Or we could do literally anything else

[ask-bro-jerry]

Maybe in the morning you’ll be willing to discuss my attractiveness.

[ask-bea-bottom]

Don’t hold your breath

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

plot twist- Nigel posted this

-nick

[ask-bea-bottom]

My statement still stands

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Bea tell me genuinely- do you disagree

-nick