I Love The Way You Ask Me Questions

Hi! I'm Portia! I ReeeEEALY love Nigel Bottom and Shakespeare And I want you to ask me questions!

[ask-bea-bottom]

No, Nick, Covid-19 will not make a good musical just go to bed.

[god-i-hate-shmakespear]

HE WOULD THOUGH THAT IS THE SCARY THING

[ask-bea-bottom]

It's just "Black Death" all over again

[portiabottom]

I think it could work!

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Day 6 of quarantine: I have made friends with Dustball I Found Under The Couch (yes that’s his full name), the three eggs in our fridge that have gone bad so I can’t eat them (Eggbert, Eggward, and Robert), and the freckle on my left toe (Jefferson). Shakespeare the Frog is the Secretary for our Household Meetings. We’re actually a very well functioning household; we split up chores and everything, it’s great.

-Nick

I’m living in the same apartment as my father-in-law and I’m dying

-Nigel

[portiabottom]

Nick- do.. do you want us to order eggs that you can actually eat? Are you okay?

I don’t see what’s so bad about it Nigey! Besides yknow... being woken up at 5:30am every day. Not a fan of that- at ALL! But you know is what is sorta fun about all this? Having to sneak around like we’re all star-crossed and stuff, again. Somehow you’re still just as cute, cutie 😍

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

He keeps glaring at me whenever I call you “darling.” Or kiss you. Or hold your hand.

And he finished the Oreos without ASKING anyone if that was okay!!!

-Nigel

I’m So Lonely Here

-Nick

[portiabottom]

He did WHAT now?? Lovey... we’ve GOT to get more Oreos! This household cannot function without Oreos!!! And who cares if he glares?! You’re my super-handsome and sweet husband who I love to get kissed by 😍 and you know how to use that instacart app which comes in handy when people (like your wife) need more Oreos 👀

Also Nick- quarantine will be over before you know it! I pinky promise!

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Day 6 of quarantine: I have made friends with Dustball I Found Under The Couch (yes that’s his full name), the three eggs in our fridge that have gone bad so I can’t eat them (Eggbert, Eggward, and Robert), and the freckle on my left toe (Jefferson). Shakespeare the Frog is the Secretary for our Household Meetings. We’re actually a very well functioning household; we split up chores and everything, it’s great.

-Nick

I’m living in the same apartment as my father-in-law and I’m dying

-Nigel

[portiabottom]

Nick- do.. do you want us to order eggs that you can actually eat? Are you okay?

I don’t see what’s so bad about it Nigey! Besides yknow... being woken up at 5:30am every day. Not a fan of that- at ALL! But you know is what is sorta fun about all this? Having to sneak around like we’re all star-crossed and stuff, again. Somehow you’re still just as cute, cutie 😍

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Okay, so I know I just dropped the whole coronavirus thing and left, so here’s the scoop.

What HAPPENED was I had to drive cross-country by myself to get a set piece for the theater I work at (long story, but rest assured I stayed 6 feet away from everyone the entire time and masked up and everything). It took 3 weeks to get there and back because the set piece is huge as hell and I had to drive a U-Haul, so I’m guessing I got COVID from a gas station or hotel or something.

On my way back I got a test just in case, fully expecting it to be negative, but!!! It was positive!!! I’m asymptomatic, and I’m SO lucky, but definitely don’t want to spread it. So now I’m quarantined in my apartment for 2 weeks while Bea, Isabel, and Jerry are staying at Nige and Portia’s. I am SUPREMELY lonely but I am able to have conversations with them through the walls of our kitchen which is nice and they leave me takeout and funny notes.

So, in summary, feel free to send asks, I genuinely have NOTHING to do and I’m anxious!

-Nick

[portiabottom]

Hang in there, big bro. It’s like a mini zoo over here! Sending big hugs from all of us! There should be some soup outside your door for you. 💞

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Nick Bottom Has Tested Positive For Coronavirus

[ask-bro-jerry]

Jeremiah Brooks Is Afraid That He Has Coronavirus

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

It’s Okay, Kissing The Homies Goodnight Doesn’t Transmit Covid- Wait No Does It Oh Shit

[ask-bro-jerry]

I'm Glad That I'm A "Homie" But I Am Very Much Afraid Of This

[portiabottom]

Uhm hi!! What’s happening?? I am also very much afraid!

[portiabottom]

@ask-nick-and-nigel The babies and I are out on a little adventure right now, and I think we may have found a little friend!! Thoughts?

[ask-bro-jerry]

I don’t actually know what’s happening in my life right now. Why am I on this website again? Why is Nick calling me hot? Questions that I have no answers to.

[portiabottom]

I mean- Sister Cathy DID used to say you were….oof… The Church Stud

[ask-bro-jerry]

It is the year of our Lord 2019, and I do not deserve to be reminded of Sister Cathy and the things she used to say about me. Nor does Nick deserve to be associated with her.

[portiabottom]

True… but I remember you being super cool!! You were really good at football, you’d make me some pretty delicious sandwiches- OH MY GOODNESS- do you remember that leather jacket mom bought you?!?

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

leather jacket….?

-nick

[ask-bro-jerry]

HELLO CAN WE PLEASE NOT BRING UP THESE THINGS IN PUBLIC PLACES

[portiabottom]

Why?? I loved that jacket!! YOU loved that jacket! You’re wearing in most of the pictures you and mom have together (if you weren’t in uniform.) …I think I’m getting a good birthday present idea!!

[ask-bro-jerry]

WELL YES THAT JACKET WAS VERY GOOD AND I APPRECIATE IT I JUST MEANT CAN WE BRING IT UP IN NON-NICK PLACES

[portiabottom]

Why does it matter if we talk about it in front of Nick? He has a leather jacket!

[ask-bro-jerry]

I don’t actually know what’s happening in my life right now. Why am I on this website again? Why is Nick calling me hot? Questions that I have no answers to.

[portiabottom]

I mean- Sister Cathy DID used to say you were….oof… The Church Stud

[ask-bro-jerry]

It is the year of our Lord 2019, and I do not deserve to be reminded of Sister Cathy and the things she used to say about me. Nor does Nick deserve to be associated with her.

[portiabottom]

True… but I remember you being super cool!! You were really good at football, you’d make me some pretty delicious sandwiches- OH MY GOODNESS- do you remember that leather jacket mom bought you?!?

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

leather jacket….?

-nick

[ask-bro-jerry]

HELLO CAN WE PLEASE NOT BRING UP THESE THINGS IN PUBLIC PLACES

[portiabottom]

Why?? I loved that jacket!! YOU loved that jacket! You’re wearing in most of the pictures you and mom have together (if you weren’t in uniform.) ...I think I’m getting a good birthday present idea!!

[ask-bro-jerry]

I don’t actually know what’s happening in my life right now. Why am I on this website again? Why is Nick calling me hot? Questions that I have no answers to.

[portiabottom]

I mean- Sister Cathy DID used to say you were….oof… The Church Stud

[ask-bro-jerry]

It is the year of our Lord 2019, and I do not deserve to be reminded of Sister Cathy and the things she used to say about me. Nor does Nick deserve to be associated with her.

[portiabottom]

True... but I remember you being super cool!! You were really good at football, you’d make me some pretty delicious sandwiches- OH MY GOODNESS- do you remember that leather jacket mom bought you?!?

[ask-bro-jerry]

I don’t actually know what’s happening in my life right now. Why am I on this website again? Why is Nick calling me hot? Questions that I have no answers to.

[portiabottom]

I mean- Sister Cathy DID used to say you were....oof... The Church Stud

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

y’all remember shakespeare the frog (2015)?

[portiabottom]

Oh sweet Shakespeare!! I was still pregnant with Lola when he was around!! My baby is too big now!! and I miss Shakespeare the frog 😭😭 Nigey- should we get a little pet for the apartment?!

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

Maybe we could start with a fish? 😅 I kind of feel like the kids wouldn’t really understand how to take care of a hands-on pet and respect its boundaries.

-Nigel

[portiabottom]

I’d LOVE a fish!! We should let the kids name it! Oh this will be SO fun! 💞💞💞

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

y’all remember shakespeare the frog (2015)?

[portiabottom]

Oh sweet Shakespeare!! I was still pregnant with Lola when he was around!! My baby is too big now!! and I miss Shakespeare the frog 😭😭 Nigey- should we get a little pet for the apartment?!

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

jeremiah……..hot?

[ask-bea-bottom]

Babe go the fuck to sleep

[ask-bro-jerry]

No, let’s hear him out!

[ask-bea-bottom]

Mmmmmm no

[ask-bro-jerry]

And why not? It’s 2019! We can hear out Nick’s ideas about how hot I am.

[ask-bea-bottom]

Or we could do literally anything else

[ask-bro-jerry]

Maybe in the morning you’ll be willing to discuss my attractiveness.

[ask-bea-bottom]

Don’t hold your breath

[ask-nick-and-nigel]

plot twist- Nigel posted this

-nick

[portiabottom]

Oh my goodness!! what is happening?! You boys are too funny 😂

[ask-bea-bottom]

ED

U

CA

TION

C O N N E C T I O N

g E t   M a T c H e D   f O r   F r E e

[portiabottom]

@ask-bro-jerry

[smoothstonesancientbrooks-blog]

It’s the hell holiday again. Yay.

[portiabottom]

Tommy- come to our place! We’ve got candy, and babies!

[smoothstonesancientbrooks-blog]

I thought you all usually had plans for Halloween?

[portiabottom]

We’re dressed up! And we’re having a little get together later- come over!

[smoothstonesancientbrooks-blog]

You know I don’t do Halloween, Portia.

[portiabottom]

Your niece and nephew miss you dearly! Lola’s been asking for Uncle Tommy all week! Plus we have chocolate- how can you say no to that?

[smoothstonesancientbrooks-blog]

It’s the hell holiday again. Yay.

[portiabottom]

Tommy- come to our place! We’ve got candy, and babies!

[smoothstonesancientbrooks-blog]

I thought you all usually had plans for Halloween?

[portiabottom]

We’re dressed up! And we’re having a little get together later- come over!

[smoothstonesancientbrooks-blog]

It’s the hell holiday again. Yay.

[portiabottom]

Tommy- come to our place! We’ve got candy, and babies!