Ask Polyamorous Dorks

TT: Just four cool guys crammed into one cool apartment that all just so happen to be dating each other. Seriously, man, no big deal—move right along, maybe drop a beat or two on your way out.

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does jake go into mama orca mode whenever someone/thing is trying to pick on y'all?

JAKE: Lets put it like this, anon.JAKE: Everything I DO eat that comes after them ends up in my stomach, you see--and everything that I DONT eat that picks on them usually bolts away at the first sight of me.DIRK: Yeah, you’d be surprised at how much half the ocean doesn’t feel like trying their luck against something the size of a school bus with a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth.

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WAS THAT A FUCKING WADANOHARA REFERENCE!!!! I SEE YOU TRYING TO BE SLICK

((what the fuck is a mogeko

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what kinda fishies are you guys!! :O

DIRK: Sharks are Jake’s favorite. They’re, uh, ‘fun to play with’.

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M!A: Merstuck?

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dirk is so pretty!!!!

JAKE: (‘Thank you’, he means.)DIRK: Wow, that is definitely not a thing I just heard implied. 

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dont let dave get a boner again lol

DIRK: Spoke a little too soon there, anon.JAKE: You bully him just a little too much cant you let him win at rock paper scissors once in a blue moon?DIRK: And miss out on this primetime entertainment, English? Come on.

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DAVE: now wheres that stupid pumpkin??

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Have John and Jake tried tag-teaming Dirk in the hopes of putting his butt to sleep? I mean c'mon, he can't last through both of them through a whole night... can he?

JAKE: Youd... be surprised.

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so wait, just to recap: dirk is a size king, has no gag reflex AND is the best dick rider???

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(Mun are we allowed to give them an m!a?)

If you want! though i’ll sort of take and choose which one to do as they come! it depends on the m!a :>

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Ever think of children in the future?

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What scent do you think you have Dave?

DAVE: who honestly sniffs themselves for fun unless someone tells you that you smell like satans rotting rectum left to sizzle in the sun for ten days straight and you havent showered in a solid month due to an agonizing stretch of looming student loan depressionDAVE: you think the febreze you spray over yourself every morning masks the scent butDAVE: you know it doesnt and the world knows YOU know it doesntDAVE: so everyone and fucking becky is judging you and you know this is rock bottom and you have lost control of your lifeJOHN:JOHN:JOHN:JOHN: that was uncomfortably specific, dude. :/ are you OKAY?DAVE: nahJOHN: JOHN: … you wanna take a warm bath together, later?DAVE: yee

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DAVE: anyways the point im obviously trying to make here is DAVE: my boyfriends are fuckin phenomenal cuddle buddies

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does Jake ever get down? if so, who comforts him and how? I'd bet it's john since this is his kind of thing

JAKE: Weve always been awful good at calming each other down!JAKE: Even back when Grandma moved me and Jade to the island for a while, and we were an ocean apart--we still had a habit of at least dropping each other from the line every day!JAKE: Id like to say we know each other the best.

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DAVE: (dont listen to dirk he loves them both) DIRK: No. I really, really, don’t.  DAVE: oh yeah??? DAVE: well what about davis DIRK: DIRK:  DIRK: He doesn’t count. DAVE: we only have two younger brothers dirk-- DIRK: Doesn’t count.

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Has Jake and John ever attempted to twin? Maybe they could pull it off?

JOHN: we do go out in matching outfits sometimes.JOHN: mine and Jake’s shoulder widths are about the same too--so we can totally switch shirts if we’re in the mood, i guess? :B

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YOURE BACK I MISSED THIS BLOG SO MUCH

Whoa! Thanks so much for the warm welcome back ya’ll!! <3