Im not a huge fan of aspec shipping discourse but i have some strong opinions rn. So, ive come up with a hypothetical. Imagine this:
Pretend that we’re back when there was NO LGBTQ representation in media. As in, you could think of literally example of a queer character if asked. (I know LGBTQ rep is still scarce, but not as scarce as it used to be, so just pretend it is that super rare).
Lets say that there is a canonically sapphic character in a show you like, let’s say she’s a girl. You get so excited because there’s literally NO rep in any other shows you can find. Excited, you go on the internet to look for stuff about her. However, when you get onto your social media of choice, all you see is fan content shipping her with a male character.
On the surface, this is completely fine. After all, the show doesn’t exactly specify her identity, she could be bi, pan, etc. Sapphic women can like men. But, you find it odd how the only ship art is with her and a man. She had chemistry with tons of female characters, after all. Why not ship her with them? It seems telling that most people ignore her queerness and just say “sapphic women can still date men” to excuse it, despite that being true.
When you post about how frustrating it is, people start getting mad, saying that you’re gatekeeping queerness. People ignore your points and just say “but queer people can be in straight relationships” even though you know that’s true. People say that “its just fan content, let them have fun.” Most people doing the shipping aren’t even sapphic themselves.
To you, it feels like the only piece of canon representation you have is being ignored completely. You know queer people can have straight relationships, you have no issue with that. It’s the fact that people are basically treating her like a straight character and ignoring her queerness that bothers you.
This is how it feels to see people shipping aro character. I know aro people can date. I’m aro and I hope to be in a relationship someday. Some of my closest friends are aspec and are dating other aspecs. But that’s not the point.
The point is that when aspec characters become canon, which is UNBELIEVABLY RARE, so many people choose to ship them anyways. Not only this, but people’s just treat them as if they were allo, just using “aspecs can date” as a cover for completely ignoring the character’s identity. Aspec relationships have nuance. They sometimes don’t look like a “normal” allo relationship.
You can ship aspec characters respectfully. You can:
Put them in a queerplatonic relationship
Put them in a romantic relationship that doesnt involve sex (if they’re allo-ace)
Put them in a sexual relationship that doesnt involve romance (if theyre aro-allo)
Put them in a relationship that’s sexual and romantic, but acknowledge that the relationship might be different than a one between allo people
Handle the ships with nuance and understand that even in a relationship, the character still isnt allo
And most importantly, listen to aspec people when they tell you something you’re doing is inaccurate or harmful.
Sorry for the rant but just… please listen to aspec people!!! We deserve good representation too
