Knock knock, I'm gonna break a window if you don't answer the door in ten seconds -stash
Excuse me?
Uh oh, you’re down to seven seconds
Young man, I do not take kindly to threats of this sort
Four seconds
I’m calling the police
Oh dear, time’s up!
*breaks a window with a big ol rock and climbs in*
Young man, I don’t know if you’re aiming for a life in prison, but you’re winding up to go down that path
I think of myself as more of a Batman-type figure
Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I’m coming to find you and if you don’t give me your daughter, I’ve got a knife
What?
I have the police on the phone right now
While you’re talking to them, why don’t you tell them you’re a nasty pedo? I mean, for convenience. Or I could save them the trouble and get rid of you myself. I’d like thatÂ
You are a child. You have no idea of the weight of taking a human life. You couldn’t ever do it
Good thing it won’t be a human














