Are you there Mikasa, it's me Armin
The day had been a usual one for the Scouting Legion, a day filled with slaughtering the giant man eating beast better known as Titans. Everyone killing off their own Titans, while Eren fights in Titan form with a twenty meter tall Titan with spikes on its shoulders, and all the while Mikasa is fretting over Eren and his well being, as she too fought.
But dispite how the day started the night will end differently.
Once everyone returned home after stopping by a local eatery to pick up dinner everyone dined together, everyone except Armin.
The small blonde boy politely declined dinner and made his way outside to sit on the porch, his soft sapphire eyes gazed up at the twinkling stars in the night sky.
With a soft sigh Armin hung his head and wrapped his arms around himself, hugging himself in a lame attempt at comfort.
"What's up with Armin?" Connie asked as he peered out the window "He's been acting weird all day."
Sasha frowned "Maybe his stomach hurts? Or maybe he is coming down with something...you guys said he was allergic to something right?"
Eren nods setting down his spoon "Yeah, he's allergic to dust. But I don't think that would effect him, not now at least I mean we cleaned this place fairly well especially since Corporal often comes in."
Eren looks out the window only to see Armin draw his knees up to his chest "Well, one of us should go out there and see what's wrong." Connie said "What if he wants to be left alone?" Jean said "I know when I'm feeling down I'm not in the mood for company." he added crossing his arms over his chest.
"Nah, Armin isn't the type. Whenever he's upset he usually would seek someone out. But I think that there is something bothering him." Eren said not taking his eyes off the sad figure outside.
"Well...I'm gonna go check on him, if you say he doesn't mind company in his current state then I'll be more than glad to go check on him." Jean said standing as he pushed his chair in "Hey, horseface!"
Jean turned to Eren as he neared the door "I told you to stop calling me that." Eren didn't care about the comment Jean had made, his eyes narrowed and in a threating tone he said "If you do anything to make matters worst or if you even THINK of making Armin cry, I will kill you and not have any regrets!"
Jean glared "Wasn't planing to...but I can't promise no tears. You guys know that Armin is easy to make cry." Eren glared and stood but Jean walked out the door before anything could start.
Jean walked out onto the porch but paused when he noticed Armin tremble, he sighed he wasn't entirely sure if he was ready to deal with what was about to happen.
"Hey, Armin...are you okay?" Jean asked as he took a seat next to the smaller male. Armin didn't look up when he was spoken to instead he shook his head and huddled closer onto himself.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Armin paused...and shrugged.
"Is there...uh...is there anyone you want me to get for you?"
Armin shook as he lifted his hand to his face and rubbed at his eyes nodding. Jean sighed and patted his back gently "Alright. Who should I bring?" Jean asked as he lifted his hand and placed it on the small of Armin's back.
"M-Mikasa...please." Armin said in a small voice.
Jean nods and ruffles Armin's hair "Don't worry kiddo, whatever is botherin' ya will feel better in the mornin'."
Armin doesn't say anything instead he sniffles and looks away, his eyes staring off into the distance at the trees that work as a border.
Jean reentered the cabin like house and closes the door, immediately he was swarmed by Eren and the others "What's up, is everything alright!? You better not have done anything you'll regret!" Eren snarled but Jean only lifted up his hands "Oi! Nothing happened, he wouldn't talk to me...besides he asked for Mikasa." Jean said.
Everyone turned to Mikasa, who looked about as surprised as everyone else "He asked for me?" she said sounding shocked. Jean nods "Yeah...whatever is bugging him it seems like you're the only one who can help him."
Mikasa nods slightly before heading to the door, she placed her hand on the knob and was about to open it when Eren grabbed her sleeve, she turned to him and their eyes met "Mikasa..." he said softly.
Even though he just said her name she understood what he was saying she gave a half smile to her adoptive brother "Don't worry, I know."
Mikasa opened the door and stepped out letting the door swing close on its own as she walked behind Armin.
Armin didn't turn around or even acknowledge Mikasa as she approached, it wasn't until she sat beside him did he give her glance.
"I heard that you wanted to see me."
Armin opened his mouth to say something but his voice was caught in his throat, instead he just swallowed nervously as the sting of tears tickled the back of his throat.
"What did you want to talk about, Armin?"
Armin shook and his breath came out shakily "I-I just...I just wa-wanted to...I wanted to say...I just..." Armin blinked and tried again "I wanted to say...do...I tend to...I mean."
Mikasa sighed "Armin?" she said impatiently "Spite it out."
Armin swallowed and said "You and Eren, eh?" he voice quaked as he avoided eye contact with his friend.
"Y-You two are so close and you two do a lot of things together..."
Mikasa frowns 'What's up with him?' she looks at him in a questioning matter, she could tell he was beating around the bush and it was starting to annoy her. When he was younger it was cute, but now that they are older and are responsible for many lives she has lost patience with Armin's timidness "Get to the point."
She tried making her words sound kind and gentle but it must have came out harsher than she intended, for Armin's small frame shook as he brought his hand to his face and stuck his thumb into his mouth, a habit he had picked up when he was younger. It isn't a habit where he is caught doing it randomly, but a habit in which one could tell something is wrong.
Armin only reverts to thumb-sucking when he is on the verge of tears or is crying, and occasionally whenever he finds impossible to sleep and Eren is nowhere to be found.
So it was only natural that he started his habit now, the lump in his throat felt large and his frizzled nervous on edge as his brain screamed at him to start crying for he knew he couldn't hold it any longer.
"You're not a child anymore, your fifteen years old stop sucking your thumb, how would you feel if someone caught you!? You think those kids back then were bullies imagine what the Legion will say!" Mikasa snapped as she yanked Armin's hand from his face.
That was enough to break him, he wasn't sure if it was her words or her dead pan tone, or maybe it was what he wanted to tell her but whatever it was he didn't know, all he knew was that he started to cry.
Armin let out a small sob before covering his mouth he tried to force himself to stop crying but it failed.
He whipped at his eyes and bit down onto his tongue with enough force blood began to drip from is mouth. Focusing entirely on the pain was enough to get him to stop crying and form some words.
He hung his head and said "Mikasa...d-do you hate me?"
The question surprised Mikasa, it wasn't one she expected to hear "Why...Why would you ask such a thing?"
Sadly, tears returned to Armin's eyes "Because...you're always fretting over Eren...I understand that you two are technically family and that you two will look out for each other but...but i-it hurts when E-Eren is the only one being worried over."
Armin felt the tears on his cheeks "Like back when Eren was first eaten you gave up basically...not thinking that you still had someone who cares about you about someone else who you could protect. I always hear you tell Eren that when things get tough go and find you...but...but you never told me that."
Armin sniffed and rubbed at his eyes with his sleeve "I feel like you don't care..." he added in a small broken voice.
"Don't be foolish, its because I promised our mother I would protect Eren!"
"DON'T LIE TO ME! I KNOW AS WELL AS YOU DO THAT YOU DO IT BECAUSE YOU LOVE HIM! YOU TWO ARE FAMILY AND THATS WHY ISNT IT!?"
Mikasa was taken aback by the sudden rage coming from the quiet boy, she narrows her eyes "Of course it is...something you wouldn't know about! Stop and think for once, family comes first and then outsiders! But if you haven't forgotten I was there saving your hide from those bullies almost everyday!"
Armin was hurt by her words but he didn't let it show "THATS ONLY BECAUSE EREN WAS AROUND! HE WAS ALWAYS HELPING ME EVEN WHEN YOU WERE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND!" Armin screamed "IF EREN NEVER SHOWED UP TO THE FIGHTS YOU WOULD CARELESS, RIGHT!?"
Armin opened his mouth to say something else but he suddenly felt an explosion of pain radiate throughout his cheek and his shoulder collided with something hard.
He looked around only to find that he was on the floor and that Mikasa had hit him.
Mikasa was standing over him her eyes narrowed "You're a fool Armin! A spineless coward! You don't see the others crying over the fact no one worries about them! Everyone else is fine Armin Arlert, but you have to be the self one! It's sickening to be around you when you get to this state! I will always worry about Eren, its comes naturally for he saved me and now I'm repaying the debt...if you ever find your know whats and do something for someone else then they will do the same for you..."
'Why did I say that!? I didn't mean it!'
She noticed Armin not making and effort to get back up, instead he curled onto himself and his body shook as sobs escaped his mouth he would sniffle and gasp but all the while he'd still cry.
"Why? Why must I always be the fool? Is it foolish that I want to get out of these walls? Is it foolish that I'm curious and smart? Is it foolish that I want to know if my friend cares about me? Is it foolish that I think of you and Eren as my older siblings? Y-You say those mean th-things because I'm right! I'm always right..." Armin hiccups and looks up at Mikasa, blood ran from his nose as a bruise began to form on his cheek. His broken face is enough to tug at her heartstrings "but...now I see I'm wrong about one thing...and it's the last thing I wanted to be true...and that...and that is that you were never my friend...someone who doesn't care...but please..." the tremble in Armin's voice implied his voice was breaking.
"Please...please tell me I'm wrong..." his voice broke as he began to sob openly "Please! I..." Armin is unable to complete his sentence, the look on Mikasa's face, the emotionless stare she is currently giving him is enough to let him know how she truely feels about him.
It was obvious, all these years how could he have been so stupid!? She never cared. It was all an act! She was like all the bullies in his life and it hurt because he thought Mikasa cared about him.
Mikasa turned from Armin as he struggled to his feet. He whipped his nose and fled to his room.
Mikasa looked down at her hands, her expression went from blank to horrid when she noticed Armin's blood on her hands. She didn't mean to hit him, no not at all...but it happened nor did she mean to say all those harsh things to him, to be completely honest she did love him, like a baby brother. She thought that if she let him handle himself he'd toughen up, she didn't think he'd take it as her hating him.
The hour was late and Jean had exited Armin's room "Don't worry he's sleeping, and his wounds aren't bad. His nose is fine, its not broken and it stopped bleeding hours ago so its just gonna be sore. His cheek will be bruised for a week or so but other than that he'll live. You know you really hurt him back there, emotional wise."
Jean sighed "Armin just needs to know you care. And I think that it would be best if you told him."
Mikasa, who had been waiting outside the door nods "I know...I'm gonna tell him."
Jean nods and leaves allowing Mikasa passageway into Armin's room.
She noticed the room had the basics a bed, nightstand with a lantern and journal, and a dresser and bookshelf. But none of that was important, she made way to the bed where Armin laid sleeping soundly.
She studied his sleeping form for a moment as she decided on the best approach. She noticed how he slept hadn't changed, many would consider sleeping on your stomach very uncomfortable since not everyone stays in that postion for long but that was Armin's favorite sleeping position.
She noticed that his grandfather's hat was being hugged close to his chest, a strange object that most wouldn't consider sleeping with or thinking of as a security blanket or teddy bear but Armin didn't care.
Mikasa also noticed his left hand was positioned near his face and his thumb was inches away from his mouth, as if he attempted his habit.
Mikasa walked closer to Armin's bed and knelt in front of it, she was close enough to hear his soft sighs as he slept.
She stroked his face, she was surprised at how soft he was, she nearly forgot this!
"Hey, Armin I know you most likely can't hear me...but you shouldn't think that I hate you...I don't. I love you, you should know that, you're like a baby brother to me...I wouldn't help you because I thought if I let you go on your own, then you would toughen up. But now I see this and how you feel...I regret not helping you often."
Mikasa rubbed his bruised cheek causing Armin to whimper in his sleep, she then moved a strand of hair out of his face "I love you and I do care...you're wrong Armin, you're wrong...I just wanted you to know that and I know I shouldn't have said those things to you, you don't deserve it. I was upset and I took it out on you..."
Mikasa stood and leans over kissing his forehead, she pulled the blanket up higher and over his chest "Sleep well Armin." she added before leaving the room.