Heh- I uh- yes well- I supose my....timing on that wasn't ideal.
We Rito go through a process called pair bonding. It's not always a romantic affair, but we become... attached to someone, for...heheh...for uh, life. That's where the saying that Rito mate for life comes from. Once in a lifetime, we bond with someone.
I'd never really given it much consideration, I'd always assumed I'd never grow close enough to anyone to face such a dilemma. I had no clue what it would even feel like or how one would know they'd bonded. But when.....for that brief time we were.....separated. I just...
Letting you go felt like cutting off one of my own limbs. I couldn't imagine a future for myself without you that wasn't torture.
Needless to say, I... think it's possible that I've....bonded to you. I'm....not well versed in such things as relationships, or even friendships. I've never known what love was supposed to feel like. But I think I...feel it for you, even if I don't entirely understand it myself...
I know you deserve an explanation but I.... so it's a funny story- i'm....not sure how much sense it would make. And it certainly....doesnt help my case here and just leaves me looking like even more of a jerk....
To cut a long story short; the sage of the winds from ten thousand years ago instilled upon me that i'm an overconfident fool, honourless and selfish and unworthy of the title of hero. It...got into my head, and I....spiralled, heh...just a tad. I was....heheh....running on four days of no sleep and a concussion, which didn't entirely help matters either. I...convinced myself that I wasn't....worthy....of you.
I...convinced myself that breaking up with you and pushing you away was a kindness. That you deserved better, and that you'd only seek better with me out of the picture.
It was...foolish. Immature and unkind. I....should have communicated my feelings. I should never have tried to make such decisions on your behalf.
I know I screwed up. Really, really badly. I hurt you a lot and that... that wasn't okay.
You have every right to feel angry and confused and sad and exhausted. Those feelings...suck. They feel terrible. But they're normal and right.
...I....prefer to see you angry with me anyday over that blank face you used to wear.
But just. It's....it's okay if you need to be angry with me. For as long as you need to be angry for. If you need to yell or throw out my things or write me a scathing letter. Bad feelings pass quicker if you let yourself feel them freely.
And I'll...still be here when you feel less angry. There's nothing you can do to scare me away, so....let yourself feel it.
