Ask Cap'n Haikara

Splatoon 3 Askblog | Run by @swefishh

[askcaptainhaikara]

[Respond] <.[AUTOMOD]

[askcaptainhaikara]

I offer this duck as a halloween sacrifice to revive this blog

🦆

Alright, who is this?

[askcaptainhaikara]

some semi-omnicsient nerds from a different universe

don't worry about it

I’m… going to assume you’re joking.

[askcaptainhaikara]

Oh! Can you hear us?

[askcaptainhaikara]

[Respond] <.[AUTOMOD]

[swefishh]

// please it’s almost been two months and there hasn’t been a single response

[askcaptainhaikara]

[askcaptainhaikara]

Observation Status: [Suspended] <.[MODERATOR]

Suspension End Date: [Date Unknown] <.[MODERATOR]

[wasaverse-nss]

Establishing Long Range Connection… <.[MODERATOR]

… <.[MODERATOR]

… <.[MODERATOR]

Connection Established! <.[MODERATOR] USER: “CaptainH.” Has Joined The Chatroom. <.[MODERATOR] CaptainH.> uh. CaptainH.> captain haikara here. CaptainH.> who is this?

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> this is captain haikara of the new squidbeak splatoon. CaptainH.> …again, who is this?

[wasaverse-nss]

sangatta> uh. machi. the captain of the new squidbeak splatoon

sangatta> im not sure if this is supposed to be a joke but its not the funniest

sangatta> you should probably leave the chatroom before you get kicked out dude

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> …do you have any way to verify that? CaptainH.> at all? CaptainH.> and excuse me for not being able to choose what random chatrooms just decide to show up on some 40 year old terminal.

[wasaverse-nss]

sangatta> uh. maybe. i dont, like, have any pictures of myself or a certificate or some shit if you could imagine.

sangatta> and what about you?

sangatta> i find it hard to believe you're the captain of a splatoon i've been part of for years

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> … CaptainH.> gimme a sec. CaptainH.>

CaptainH.> how’s this for proof?

[wasaverse-nss]

sangatta> wh

sangatta> fuckin. hold on

sangatta> i have a picture agent 1 took. if that works

sangatta> eugh.

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> wha- CaptainH.> i- CaptainH.> who the- CaptainH.> what is going on here?!

[wasaverse-nss]

sangatta> your guess is as good as mine.

sangatta> this is giving me a headache but ive already taken like

sangatta> 5 painkillers or something today

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> i know how that feels… CaptainH.> … CaptainH.> i have a question. CaptainH.> how do i put this… CaptainH.> if you’re the captain, and there’s an agent 1 and 2 on your end… CaptainH.> do you also have an agent 3? CaptainH.> and if you do, could… “my” agent 3 join this chat room?

[askcaptainhaikara]

Thoughts on Little Buddy?

CaptainH.> he’s a good companion for agent 3. CaptainH.> he’s also the first salmonid i’ve been able to get a clear look at, which is nice. threee> hmmm,, thnk u fo r gud werd about me Lïttlë Bröthër

[askcaptainhaikara]

Why does the advisor call octavio babygirl?

CaptainH.> shucking what. CaptainH.> …

CaptainH.> how about we stop talking about this for a little while?

[wasaverse-nss]

Establishing Long Range Connection… <.[MODERATOR]

… <.[MODERATOR]

… <.[MODERATOR]

Connection Established! <.[MODERATOR] USER: “CaptainH.” Has Joined The Chatroom. <.[MODERATOR] CaptainH.> uh. CaptainH.> captain haikara here. CaptainH.> who is this?

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> this is captain haikara of the new squidbeak splatoon. CaptainH.> …again, who is this?

[wasaverse-nss]

sangatta> uh. machi. the captain of the new squidbeak splatoon

sangatta> im not sure if this is supposed to be a joke but its not the funniest

sangatta> you should probably leave the chatroom before you get kicked out dude

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> …do you have any way to verify that? CaptainH.> at all? CaptainH.> and excuse me for not being able to choose what random chatrooms just decide to show up on some 40 year old terminal.

[wasaverse-nss]

sangatta> uh. maybe. i dont, like, have any pictures of myself or a certificate or some shit if you could imagine.

sangatta> and what about you?

sangatta> i find it hard to believe you're the captain of a splatoon i've been part of for years

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> … CaptainH.> gimme a sec. CaptainH.>

CaptainH.> how’s this for proof?

[wasaverse-nss]

sangatta> wh

sangatta> fuckin. hold on

sangatta> i have a picture agent 1 took. if that works

sangatta> eugh.

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> wha- CaptainH.> i- CaptainH.> who the- CaptainH.> what is going on here?!

[wasaverse-nss]

Establishing Long Range Connection… <.[MODERATOR]

… <.[MODERATOR]

… <.[MODERATOR]

Connection Established! <.[MODERATOR] USER: “CaptainH.” Has Joined The Chatroom. <.[MODERATOR] CaptainH.> uh. CaptainH.> captain haikara here. CaptainH.> who is this?

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> this is captain haikara of the new squidbeak splatoon. CaptainH.> …again, who is this?

[wasaverse-nss]

sangatta> uh. machi. the captain of the new squidbeak splatoon

sangatta> im not sure if this is supposed to be a joke but its not the funniest

sangatta> you should probably leave the chatroom before you get kicked out dude

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> …do you have any way to verify that? CaptainH.> at all? CaptainH.> and excuse me for not being able to choose what random chatrooms just decide to show up on some 40 year old terminal.

[wasaverse-nss]

sangatta> uh. maybe. i dont, like, have any pictures of myself or a certificate or some shit if you could imagine.

sangatta> and what about you?

sangatta> i find it hard to believe you're the captain of a splatoon i've been part of for years

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> … CaptainH.> gimme a sec. CaptainH.>

CaptainH.> how’s this for proof?

[wasaverse-nss]

Establishing Long Range Connection… <.[MODERATOR]

… <.[MODERATOR]

… <.[MODERATOR]

Connection Established! <.[MODERATOR] USER: “CaptainH.” Has Joined The Chatroom. <.[MODERATOR] CaptainH.> uh. CaptainH.> captain haikara here. CaptainH.> who is this?

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> this is captain haikara of the new squidbeak splatoon. CaptainH.> …again, who is this?

[wasaverse-nss]

sangatta> uh. machi. the captain of the new squidbeak splatoon

sangatta> im not sure if this is supposed to be a joke but its not the funniest

sangatta> you should probably leave the chatroom before you get kicked out dude

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> …do you have any way to verify that? CaptainH.> at all? CaptainH.> and excuse me for not being able to choose what random chatrooms just decide to show up on some 40 year old terminal.

[askcaptainhaikara]

Is water wet?

CaptainH.> i am not doing this again. CaptainH.> the last time we tried answering this agent 4 suplexed me into a table…

[cleaning-n-crew]

Establishing Long Range Connection… <.[MODERATOR] … <.[MODERATOR] … <.[MODERATOR] Connection Established! <.[MODERATOR] USER: “CaptainH.” Has Joined The Chatroom. CaptainH.> uh. CaptainH.> captain haikara here. CaptainH.> who is this?

wh.. wha...

........ there's no blobbing way.

Janny, is... Is your phone supposed to do... that?

i uh... i dunno¿? should i answer?

Probably? It could be important... With the ominous hologram and stuff...

Janitor > hi um Janitor > how did you get my contact info,,?

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> i found a terminal in an… CaptainH.> undisclosed location. CaptainH.> and i found this chatroom. CaptainH.> again, who is this?

[cleaning-n-crew]

Hey, Janny? I wouldn't disclose much with them... They're a total stranger...

Janitor > i'm.. just a janitor? Janitor > my friends call me janny

Ooh!! Ask em about this mysterious terminal! Maybe we'll figure something out about your past!!

I'm not sure that's a good idea bestie ✨✨✨✨

You're the boldest person I know and now you're cowering because of some rando online??

It's not because of that bestie 😀😀😀😀

i think... i think ibbie has a point.

Janitor > uh... could you be more specific about this "terminal"? maybe,,?

JANNYYY ✨✨✨🙃🙃🙃🙃

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> the terminal i’m currently using appears to be constructed in the 1980s. CaptainH.> oddly, there seems not to be a company associated with this terminal. CaptainH.> may i know what device you’re using?

[cleaning-n-crew]

THE 1980´s????? BUT LIKE, THE HUMAN 1980´s OR OURS,,

..........why would they refer to the humans 1980´s,,,

Well the company your "device" is from sure was obssesed with the human ones- I mean. Okay just say that bc I have no idea how theyre even there if they dont have a CQ like yours. This is just so heckin weird ok,

.....It is indeed. Im as, as puzzled as you;;; Maybe I should just,,,

Janitor > I own the employee model of a CQ-80 made by the Kamabo Company, their logo its in the back and all

Janitor > I just use it as my regular phone as it works just fine

Janitor > The only thing I know about Kamabo Co. is that its been years since it dissolved so I cant be much help there sorry

Janitor > I have no idea of how you got access to this chatroom if you are not in possesion of one tho....Specially if you claim to have a machine that old; Or terribly, TERRIBLY old in case youre possibly refferring to the human´s 1980´s...?

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> … CaptainH.> how do you know about kamabo. CaptainH.> and how the shell did you get an employee model CQ-80. CaptainH.> no i don’t mean the human 1980s.

[cleaning-n-crew]

Why dont you tell them your exact location too??? So they can come and we all have a tea party :)))))))))

.......Iris please

..... I don't really understand what's going on but... that was a bit too harsh I think.

SOrry Im just. PLEASE dont say anything else about that okay. This is getting me too nervous-

I want. answers...;;;;; As much as, as you do

YEAH BUT NOT RISKING EVERYTHING- Also are you sure you want them from a rando...

...............

Janitor > As I said, I dont know anything; Janitor > That info was written on this device as I found it, it was reseted to factory settings Janitor > And the name of the company its just right here... Janitor > AALSO HOW Do you know about them.,

....Iris gim. gimme that,, back please,,,

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> … CaptainH.> i was out hiking by the cape. CaptainH.> and the ground broke. CaptainH.> fell into kamabo. CaptainH.> … CaptainH.> i don’t want to talk about what i saw afterwards.

[cleaning-n-crew]

................... I must say I. Uhm. I'm. Concerned, to say the least.

Hm...hnmh.;;;;;;;;;

Janitor > HELLOTHEREIM NO ONE THAT DOESNT MATTER IM A FRIEND OF JANNY IVE BEEN LOOKING AT THIS CHAT SINCE IT STARTED

Janitor > I BORROWED THEIR CQ FOR A SEC

HI IM SO HECKIN GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY DUMBASS THAT FELL INTO THAT FLAKING PLACE BY ACCIDENT OH MY COD YOU MADE MY DAY LOL LMAO!!!!

I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED EITHER

Janitor > I AM DELETING THESE MESSAGES ONCE IM DONE SO SAY WHATEVER

AND DONT!! TALK W JANNY ABOUT THIS!! THEY DONT REMEMBER ANYTHING

AND I DONT WANT THEM TO REMEMBER. READ THAT AGAIN. AND AGAIN.

Janitor > Theyre the sweetest thing and doesnt deserve that and I will do anything to protect them Janitor > *anything* Janitor > anything

Janitor > ......That aside this was surprising and kinda funny ngl!!!! Do you need like. help or are you just bored and good with computers-

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> … CaptainH.> i see. CaptainH.> no, i don’t need help. CaptainH.> thanks for asking, though.

[cleaning-n-crew]

Janitor > ...Uhm, Hi Janitor > Im Janny I got my CQ back Janitor > My friend literally ran away with it she seemed really affected by your words Im sorry;;

Janitor > She deleted her messages so I dont know what she said to you so I only hope she wasnt too harsh shes uhm. ...Very bold. Dont take her seriously please.

EXCUSE ME THEY SHOULD FEAR ME IF I DISCOVER ANYTHING WEIRD-

Why, why do you think so bad of them we dont we dont, know anything;;

Anything that is involved with Kamabo smells bad. Im just protecting you dummy!! Also the way they appeared its just so??? What the shell was that....how

I... I really think you. should try to,,, relax. a, a bit I... think theyre just as as confused as we are, just that......;;;;

Janitor > As I see youre okay? Im glad; I was kinda worried about this being an SOS or something;; Specially seeing her reaction but I guess its okay now?

Janitor > I must admit, Im so curious at the machine youre using to comunicate with me

Janitor > Can you tell what is it or how does it look like? Maybe we can know more about it...

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> as i said before, the device i’m using appears to be a computer terminal that was made about 40 or so years ago. CaptainH.> the odd thing is, there is no manufacturer logo anywhere on it. CaptainH.> the internal parts might have one on them, but i don’t want to risk permanently shutting this terminal off. CaptainH.> another odd thing is, it looks like it’s running off of a webmaster knock-off. CaptainH.> there’s probably more but my expertise is with weapons and takokan tech, not computers.

[wasaverse-nss]

Establishing Long Range Connection… <.[MODERATOR]

… <.[MODERATOR]

… <.[MODERATOR]

Connection Established! <.[MODERATOR] USER: “CaptainH.” Has Joined The Chatroom. <.[MODERATOR] CaptainH.> uh. CaptainH.> captain haikara here. CaptainH.> who is this?

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> this is captain haikara of the new squidbeak splatoon. CaptainH.> …again, who is this?

[4offical]

Establishing Long Range Connection… <.[MODERATOR] … <.[MODERATOR] … <.[MODERATOR] Connection Established! <.[MODERATOR] USER: “CaptainH.” Has Joined The Chatroom. <.[MODERATOR] CaptainH.> uh. CaptainH.> captain haikara here. CaptainH.> who is this?

USER: “Agent4.” is online <.[MODORATOR]

Agent4.> still haven’t changed my name lol.

Agent4.> anyways hello!

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> uh, hi? CaptainH.> again, who is this?

[4offical]

Agent4.> im four, uhh there isnt much to say abt me tbh. Who are you? Your username says captain so im assuming your one of the MANY versions of capn’ ive met.

[askcaptainhaikara]

CaptainH.> ’versions’? CaptainH.> the shell do you mean ‘versions?