ASK COLUMBIA @askcolumbia - Tumblr Blog

Can I cuddle too? I think Riff Raff needs time alone with our mother.. She’s making up for lost time.

- @askmagenta

"Sure...

Look at Macy. She's clinging to me like a toddler..."

Is she alright?

"I don't think so, but I think her mind is too frazzled to speak.

Come here."

Magenta cuddled up.

I think I want another baby.

(Betty wrapped an arm around her.)

"Really? That sounds nice...

How has it been with your wife?"

Great! She’s wonderful! Sometimes I miss Eddie though…

"Was that the man you slept with?

I thought you were a lesbian?"

I am.. I was very drunk one night.. We got carried away. He’s dead now.

"Why do you miss him?"

He was sweet.. He took care of the baby. He wasn’t kind to Riff Raff though. He once told her that he was going to force her outside and spray her with a hose.

"I see...

I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that."

It’s quite alright.. Belladonna doesn’t look anything like him thank goodness.

"She's a very cute baby."

How was your delivery?

"It was nice... very quick. What about you?"

Tedious. As was the pregnancy. I was high risk.. But Columbia took great care of me. She’s a doll. I ended up putting on so much weight.. But she loves it so that’s alright. And Riff Raff got all my old clothes. I don’t know if she wears them though. She’s more of a pink girl. She looked like a princess when she got married.

"I know...

I should put on a bit more weight. The anti-psychotics help a bit, as do the anti-depressants. Genevieve needs it."

You should, yes.

It’s funny.. I always kind of considered her my sister. She never really acted like a boy.

"I can definitely see that...

Your hair is very pretty."

Oh? Thank you. I don’t like having red hair all that much.

"I like it. It reminds me of your mother. Your mother has gorgeous hair."

She does. Did you know that the red side is the side she used to hold me and feed me? The blonde side is Riff Raff’s.

Oh, I have so missed being home.. Sweet Transsexual.. Land of night. Do you like the darkness, Betty?

"I do... I have a sleeping disorder and it makes it better to be in a land of darkness."

I see. I think the only problem with me is endometriosis.. And I have autism. It tends to make me really blunt. My wife has it too. She sort of found us. She was warned when she walked into the castle that the people were unusual, but it turned out to be the only place she ever felt at home. She really came out of her shell.

"That's how I felt! Oh, Amaranth treats me like a real person! Not a weirdo!

I have a lot of things. Autism, BPD, bipolar, whatever the sleep condition is called... I think there may be more but I don't quite remember."

Wow.. You poor thing. My sister has BPD, so I get it. She also has a sleep disorder I think.. She literally cannot sleep without alcohol or being soothed. I tried everything. A weighted blanket, a heated blanket.. Holding her. But look at her now.. Over there asleep on mother.

"Oh, not like that! I can fall asleep just fine, I just sleep for days at a time."

Ah, okay. So the opposite.

She watched her mother lightly pat Riff Raff’s back, soothing her.

This is nice.. No more punishments.

"It is. It's lovely. She is.

Please stay. She needs you."

Is she doing okay?

"She misses both of you greatly."

I understand. It must be difficult to have your children live on another planet. I’ll stay. Have you met my wife?

"She saved my life one time..."

What? How?

"I was going to... well.

She talked to me. Talked me down. Thank goodness."

Hello! Mind if I join?

"Uh... sure...

This certainly a pile."

This is lovely!

Can I cuddle too? I think Riff Raff needs time alone with our mother.. She’s making up for lost time.

- @askmagenta

"Sure...

Look at Macy. She's clinging to me like a toddler..."

Is she alright?

"I don't think so, but I think her mind is too frazzled to speak.

Come here."

Magenta cuddled up.

I think I want another baby.

(Betty wrapped an arm around her.)

"Really? That sounds nice...

How has it been with your wife?"

Great! She’s wonderful! Sometimes I miss Eddie though…

"Was that the man you slept with?

I thought you were a lesbian?"

I am.. I was very drunk one night.. We got carried away. He’s dead now.

"Why do you miss him?"

He was sweet.. He took care of the baby. He wasn’t kind to Riff Raff though. He once told her that he was going to force her outside and spray her with a hose.

"I see...

I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that."

It’s quite alright.. Belladonna doesn’t look anything like him thank goodness.

"She's a very cute baby."

How was your delivery?

"It was nice... very quick. What about you?"

Tedious. As was the pregnancy. I was high risk.. But Columbia took great care of me. She’s a doll. I ended up putting on so much weight.. But she loves it so that’s alright. And Riff Raff got all my old clothes. I don’t know if she wears them though. She’s more of a pink girl. She looked like a princess when she got married.

"I know...

I should put on a bit more weight. The anti-psychotics help a bit, as do the anti-depressants. Genevieve needs it."

You should, yes.

It’s funny.. I always kind of considered her my sister. She never really acted like a boy.

"I can definitely see that...

Your hair is very pretty."

Oh? Thank you. I don’t like having red hair all that much.

"I like it. It reminds me of your mother. Your mother has gorgeous hair."

She does. Did you know that the red side is the side she used to hold me and feed me? The blonde side is Riff Raff’s.

Oh, I have so missed being home.. Sweet Transsexual.. Land of night. Do you like the darkness, Betty?

"I do... I have a sleeping disorder and it makes it better to be in a land of darkness."

I see. I think the only problem with me is endometriosis.. And I have autism. It tends to make me really blunt. My wife has it too. She sort of found us. She was warned when she walked into the castle that the people were unusual, but it turned out to be the only place she ever felt at home. She really came out of her shell.

"That's how I felt! Oh, Amaranth treats me like a real person! Not a weirdo!

I have a lot of things. Autism, BPD, bipolar, whatever the sleep condition is called... I think there may be more but I don't quite remember."

Wow.. You poor thing. My sister has BPD, so I get it. She also has a sleep disorder I think.. She literally cannot sleep without alcohol or being soothed. I tried everything. A weighted blanket, a heated blanket.. Holding her. But look at her now.. Over there asleep on mother.

"Oh, not like that! I can fall asleep just fine, I just sleep for days at a time."

Ah, okay. So the opposite.

She watched her mother lightly pat Riff Raff’s back, soothing her.

This is nice.. No more punishments.

"It is. It's lovely. She is.

Please stay. She needs you."

Is she doing okay?

"She misses both of you greatly."

I understand. It must be difficult to have your children live on another planet. I’ll stay. Have you met my wife?

"She saved my life one time..."

What? How?

"I was going to... well.

She talked to me. Talked me down. Thank goodness."

Hello! Mind if I join?

Columbia stumbled upon Betty on her way to the stairs.

Oh.. Hello. Are you alright?

- @askcolumbia

(Betty looked genuinely bewildered. Poor woman had never met Columbia before.)

"How are you doing that? That thing with your voice?"

What thing?!

"The... it sounds like a rainbow?? How are you doing that???"

Rainbows don’t make a sound, silly!

Who are you? I’ve never met you before!

"I'm... I'm Betty. I'm Amaranth's wife..."

Wife?!

She got married to a woman?! Go Amaranth!

I’m Columbia.. I’m Magenta’s wife. Belladonna’s other mother. I was kind of married to a guy too but well he went off and died!

"Great... I'll get out of your way and we can continue on with our days.."

Oh, you aren’t in the way! I was just going downstairs to speak to Sabrina. Our baby has a cough.

Oh wow!!! Are you pregnant?!?!???

"Yes... my ex-husband's baby...

Why are you still speaking to me?"

Congratulations!!!

…

I’m sorry. I’ll be on my way now!

"...

I nearly got killed by the queen of Transsexual today... please be safe."

That baffled Columbia but she said nothing and went on her way.

Columbia stumbled upon Betty on her way to the stairs.

Oh.. Hello. Are you alright?

- @askcolumbia

(Betty looked genuinely bewildered. Poor woman had never met Columbia before.)

"How are you doing that? That thing with your voice?"

What thing?!

"The... it sounds like a rainbow?? How are you doing that???"

Rainbows don’t make a sound, silly!

Who are you? I’ve never met you before!

"I'm... I'm Betty. I'm Amaranth's wife..."

Wife?!

She got married to a woman?! Go Amaranth!

I’m Columbia.. I’m Magenta’s wife. Belladonna’s other mother. I was kind of married to a guy too but well he went off and died!

"Great... I'll get out of your way and we can continue on with our days.."

Oh, you aren’t in the way! I was just going downstairs to speak to Sabrina. Our baby has a cough.

Oh wow!!! Are you pregnant?!?!???

"Yes... my ex-husband's baby...

Why are you still speaking to me?"

Congratulations!!!

…

I’m sorry. I’ll be on my way now!

Columbia stumbled upon Betty on her way to the stairs.

Oh.. Hello. Are you alright?

- @askcolumbia

(Betty looked genuinely bewildered. Poor woman had never met Columbia before.)

"How are you doing that? That thing with your voice?"

What thing?!

"The... it sounds like a rainbow?? How are you doing that???"

Rainbows don’t make a sound, silly!

Who are you? I’ve never met you before!

"I'm... I'm Betty. I'm Amaranth's wife..."

Wife?!

She got married to a woman?! Go Amaranth!

I’m Columbia.. I’m Magenta’s wife. Belladonna’s other mother. I was kind of married to a guy too but well he went off and died!

"Great... I'll get out of your way and we can continue on with our days.."

Oh, you aren’t in the way! I was just going downstairs to speak to Sabrina. Our baby has a cough.

Oh wow!!! Are you pregnant?!?!???

Columbia stumbled upon Betty on her way to the stairs.

Oh.. Hello. Are you alright?

- @askcolumbia

(Betty looked genuinely bewildered. Poor woman had never met Columbia before.)

"How are you doing that? That thing with your voice?"

What thing?!

"The... it sounds like a rainbow?? How are you doing that???"

Rainbows don’t make a sound, silly!

Who are you? I’ve never met you before!

"I'm... I'm Betty. I'm Amaranth's wife..."

Wife?!

She got married to a woman?! Go Amaranth!

I’m Columbia.. I’m Magenta’s wife. Belladonna’s other mother. I was kind of married to a guy too but well he went off and died!

Columbia stumbled upon Betty on her way to the stairs.

Oh.. Hello. Are you alright?

- @askcolumbia

(Betty looked genuinely bewildered. Poor woman had never met Columbia before.)

"How are you doing that? That thing with your voice?"

What thing?!

"The... it sounds like a rainbow?? How are you doing that???"

Rainbows don’t make a sound, silly!

Who are you? I’ve never met you before!

Columbia stumbled upon Betty on her way to the stairs.

Oh.. Hello. Are you alright?

- @askcolumbia

(Betty looked genuinely bewildered. Poor woman had never met Columbia before.)

"How are you doing that? That thing with your voice?"

What thing?!

swordofdamoclesovermyhead

Are we having meatloaf again anytime soon?

@swordofdamoclesovermyhead

(ROCKY GETS IT BUT HE DOESNT CARE, HES A MARINE!!/ref)

Of course.

Do you want to go out with me and find another biker who's had it coming for a while, or shall I do it on my own?

…Youd leave me alone? (he sounded somewhat hopeful)

Uh, yeah! You shall do it on your own

Good.

...

WHO'S WATCHING ROCKY WHILE I'M GONE? SOMEBODY, ANYBODY?

I’ll do it!!!!!!

...anyone but her, she'll take him to fucking dairy queen or something

Alright.

HELLLLLLPPP SHE WAS GOING TO TAKE HIM OUT FOR ICE CREAM YOU READ MY MIND.

We’ll behave, Frankie! I promise!

swordofdamoclesovermyhead

Are we having meatloaf again anytime soon?

@swordofdamoclesovermyhead

(ROCKY GETS IT BUT HE DOESNT CARE, HES A MARINE!!/ref)

Of course.

Do you want to go out with me and find another biker who's had it coming for a while, or shall I do it on my own?

…Youd leave me alone? (he sounded somewhat hopeful)

Uh, yeah! You shall do it on your own

Good.

...

WHO'S WATCHING ROCKY WHILE I'M GONE? SOMEBODY, ANYBODY?

I’ll do it!!!!!!

Good… For you??????

Tgis is me if you guys even care

@askthatrockyhorrorbat

It did the thing where I can’t reply! I’m sorry!

Ahhhh!

A bat! Where did you come from?

What are you doing for Valentines?

- @askcolumbia

You know, the usual.

Intervening in the relationships of a few nice little denton couples, overseeing a duel between anons, each of whom wanted to be my Valentine, and a quite successful orgy to top it all off, which I believe you missed.

Fuck!!

Well let’s have another! You can never have too many orgies! I’m sure Magenta will join in! And see if you can convince @askriffraff !

What's it going to take for you to give up on that lost cause?

From what I can tell, she's stuck on having her happy little family with her happy little husband.

I miss how she used to be. She used to be fun.. She’s gotten all boring. You have to convince her, Frankie! Not to leave Farley but to actually have fun again!

Isn't that your job? As a groupie?

As for leaving Farley and having fun, I'm afraid those go hand in hand.

Oh, she won’t listen to me. She thinks I’m stupid. But she has to listen to you! You’re her master!

...It's not like she was even that "Fun" to begin with. About as interesting as a walking corpse most days and nights.

Her time warp wasn't terrible, though. Had a bit of a kick to it that you don't get very often from others.

I think she was! She was loud! Unpredictable! She drank! She took drugs! She fucked anybody! Hell, even I got to have a turn!

…

Don’t tell her I told you that.

Excuse me.

YOU FUCKED RIFF RAFF?

Just a couple of times!

MULTIPLE TIMES?

We were stoned!

Exit this room please, for your own safety.

What? Why?

Frank takes an ornate, expensive looking jar off the shelf and throws it into the wall with every bit of rage he can possibly muster up

Why is it such a bad thing?! We were on cocaine! Coke makes me want to fuck!

What are you doing for Valentines?

- @askcolumbia

You know, the usual.

Intervening in the relationships of a few nice little denton couples, overseeing a duel between anons, each of whom wanted to be my Valentine, and a quite successful orgy to top it all off, which I believe you missed.

Fuck!!

Well let’s have another! You can never have too many orgies! I’m sure Magenta will join in! And see if you can convince @askriffraff !

What's it going to take for you to give up on that lost cause?

From what I can tell, she's stuck on having her happy little family with her happy little husband.

I miss how she used to be. She used to be fun.. She’s gotten all boring. You have to convince her, Frankie! Not to leave Farley but to actually have fun again!

Isn't that your job? As a groupie?

As for leaving Farley and having fun, I'm afraid those go hand in hand.

Oh, she won’t listen to me. She thinks I’m stupid. But she has to listen to you! You’re her master!

...It's not like she was even that "Fun" to begin with. About as interesting as a walking corpse most days and nights.

Her time warp wasn't terrible, though. Had a bit of a kick to it that you don't get very often from others.

I think she was! She was loud! Unpredictable! She drank! She took drugs! She fucked anybody! Hell, even I got to have a turn!

…

Don’t tell her I told you that.

Excuse me.

YOU FUCKED RIFF RAFF?

Just a couple of times!

MULTIPLE TIMES?

We were stoned!

Exit this room please, for your own safety.

What? Why?

Frank takes an ornate, expensive looking jar off the shelf and throws it into the wall with every bit of rage he can possibly muster up

Why is it such a bad thing?! We were on cocaine! Coke makes me want to fuck!

What are you doing for Valentines?

- @askcolumbia

You know, the usual.

Intervening in the relationships of a few nice little denton couples, overseeing a duel between anons, each of whom wanted to be my Valentine, and a quite successful orgy to top it all off, which I believe you missed.

Fuck!!

Well let’s have another! You can never have too many orgies! I’m sure Magenta will join in! And see if you can convince @askriffraff !

What's it going to take for you to give up on that lost cause?

From what I can tell, she's stuck on having her happy little family with her happy little husband.

I miss how she used to be. She used to be fun.. She’s gotten all boring. You have to convince her, Frankie! Not to leave Farley but to actually have fun again!

Isn't that your job? As a groupie?

As for leaving Farley and having fun, I'm afraid those go hand in hand.

Oh, she won’t listen to me. She thinks I’m stupid. But she has to listen to you! You’re her master!

...It's not like she was even that "Fun" to begin with. About as interesting as a walking corpse most days and nights.

Her time warp wasn't terrible, though. Had a bit of a kick to it that you don't get very often from others.