Count Downer's Guide for New Units

Just because you popped knowing which end of a pike to hold doesn't mean you know Jack about Snipe. I'm here to help with that.

[askcountdowner]

[askcountdowner]

Short, controlled bursts.

In, aim, out, squeeze.

[altessia]

If you dust, I will personally feed you to a twoll. Stay safe!

[askcountdowner]

I can say, with all honesty, I am not planning on getting dusted. If, however, I am needed to protect the Mistress or Parson, I will not hesitate in my Duty.

Just sayin’.

[askcountdowner]

Short, controlled bursts.

In, aim, out, squeeze.

[askcountdowner]

Can’t talk

Working on my routine

HA!

[askcountdowner]

Time to shine, ya bunch of kibble!

We fight for our side!

We croak for its coffers!

For the Tool! For the Mistress!

[askcountdowner]

So a Hat Magician and a Carny ran up and slapped this hat on me and asked me to say this phrase. No idea what it means, but I was feeling generous.

[askcountdowner]

wait so like... thats his NAME?

I know, right? These casters.

[askcountdowner]

Guy had a LOT to say about colors.

[askcountdowner]

And I still don’t understand how he did this thing to my cape..!

[askcountdowner]

Since only our livery has changed, and not our raiment, I take that to mean that our purpose in life hasn’t changed that dramatically. Meet the new boss, not that different than the old boss.

Keep asking me questions, guys!

[awesomearcherartemis]

dude! how weak is this?!

seriously dude are you even trying

this does NOT cut it

aim true

[askcountdowner]

What? It’s not like I’m a signamancer! I don’t actually know what it means!

[awesomearcherartemis]

oh

hey

you know who IS a signamancer

A BUNCH OF THE PEOPLE WE WERE HANGING OUT WITH FOR THE PAST FEW TURNS

im not kiddin man this is not good enough

i only let it slide last time cuz it was funny

now

go back

find someone

and ask them

are you going to volunteer for this or am i going to order you to do it

oh and double-time it

you dont get to drag your feet on this

aim true

[askcountdowner]

But– we just– I couldn’t–

Ahem. Yes’m. I’ll see to it right away.

[askcountdowner]

Since only our livery has changed, and not our raiment, I take that to mean that our purpose in life hasn’t changed that dramatically. Meet the new boss, not that different than the old boss.

Keep asking me questions, guys!

[awesomearcherartemis]

dude! how weak is this?!

seriously dude are you even trying

this does NOT cut it

aim true

[askcountdowner]

What? It’s not like I’m a signamancer! I don’t actually know what it means!

[askcountdowner]

Since only our livery has changed, and not our raiment, I take that to mean that our purpose in life hasn’t changed that dramatically. Meet the new boss, not that different than the old boss.

Keep asking me questions, guys!

[askcountdowner]

(I like to think that Artemis leaves me neckless when she takes over as a sign of respect for my different style of leadership.)

I guess it would be more obvious if I included more... living... people in these things, but, uh... honestly, I feel kind of weird staring at folks like that. Suppose I’d never make a good foolamancer, with an attitude like that.

[askcountdowner]

...

FFFFFFFFFFFF-

[askcountdowner]

ha ha no way dude

youre still on “shouting duty” remember

FFFFFFFF-

[askcountdowner]

But he’d have to be away from the field, and have no time to plan or talk with the casters, or

NO HE SHOULD BE HERE TRAINING WITH ME RIGHT NOW

It would be faster to just take a strong stack and pick some fights for REAL experience!

NO NO TRAINING WITH ME YESSSSS

[thecommander236]

There was this ridiculous theory on TV Tropes that Artemis wanted to stay at Parson’s meeting with the casters because she want to proffer him sex. Perhaps like what she did with Ansom when he was young. Another guy and I thought the idea was really… stupid and kind of offensive. She was just doing her duty, but I CAN actually see her liking Parson in the normal way. Can’t tell if that’s what you are implying or if she really just likes training. Either way, I love this answer. That’s amazing. Excited Artemis is so cute.

[askcountdowner]

Yeah, rumors are like the worst ferals ever. They pop everywhere, and are impossible to tame or croak.

Artemis has been doing her best to keep the troops busy with practice drills and exercises, but nothing can stop infantry from talking during their downtime. Since they can’t talk about how excited they are about the next skirmish (we have no idea if or when it’ll happen, and Parson left orders against such talk, saying it’d be ‘inflammatory’) the only thing left is gossip about who’s getting nookie from who.

I’m sure they’ll go through everyone, eventually. I’m actually looking forward to when they start pairing me up with the Dirtamancer… the rumors about those casters are always hilariously filthy.

All that being said, I think Artemis may be getting a little too into the idea of training with the movers and shakers of our side. I think I overheard her talking to a Dollamancer about “jogging suits” and trying to guess the measurements of our casters…

[thecommander236]

Oh ho, speaking of filthy rumors. The locals like to post on these “message boards” where I’m from. We get all this information about the different players. I swear I don’t know how we know these things. If sometimes paying Charlie for dossiers, I swear that they are so croaked. Any who, word has it that Ace and Cubbins used to be a little bit closer than friends. I swear, sir, that when I heard that I burst out laughing. I can see sorta see it, but Titans, Ace is HUGE compared to Cubbins. I just can’t imagine how it would work. I just lost it and I started babbling between giggles. “Oh my Titans, poor, poor Cubbins. Ooo, ugh, ew, augh,. Ah that can’t be comfortable.” I swear that I was almost incapacitated. I couldn’t stop. If I was a little more crazy, I would be concerned that someone started the rumor as some weird assassination plot. Haha!

[askcountdowner]

From what I’ve overheard from Ace (frequently) asking the thinkamancers to send a message to Cubbins and some chats he’s had with Maggie, I get the impression that there may actually be something to those particular rumors.

What I’ve come away with is a) mostly cuddling and b) Cubbins was on top.

I mean, c’mon, look at Ace. Dude’s like a giant puppy. He’d do anything to please.

[askcountdowner]

But he’d have to be away from the field, and have no time to plan or talk with the casters, or

NO HE SHOULD BE HERE TRAINING WITH ME RIGHT NOW

It would be faster to just take a strong stack and pick some fights for REAL experience!

NO NO TRAINING WITH ME YESSSSS

[thecommander236]

There was this ridiculous theory on TV Tropes that Artemis wanted to stay at Parson’s meeting with the casters because she want to proffer him sex. Perhaps like what she did with Ansom when he was young. Another guy and I thought the idea was really… stupid and kind of offensive. She was just doing her duty, but I CAN actually see her liking Parson in the normal way. Can’t tell if that’s what you are implying or if she really just likes training. Either way, I love this answer. That’s amazing. Excited Artemis is so cute.

[askcountdowner]

Yeah, rumors are like the worst ferals ever. They pop everywhere, and are impossible to tame or croak.

Artemis has been doing her best to keep the troops busy with practice drills and exercises, but nothing can stop infantry from talking during their downtime. Since they can’t talk about how excited they are about the next skirmish (we have no idea if or when it’ll happen, and Parson left orders against such talk, saying it’d be ‘inflammatory’) the only thing left is gossip about who’s getting nookie from who.

I’m sure they’ll go through everyone, eventually. I’m actually looking forward to when they start pairing me up with the Dirtamancer... the rumors about those casters are always hilariously filthy.

All that being said, I think Artemis may be getting a little too into the idea of training with the movers and shakers of our side. I think I overheard her talking to a Dollamancer about “jogging suits” and trying to guess the measurements of our casters...