Daily Dose of Dylie Advice

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[askdylie]

okay so recently me and my bf broke up. it wasnt because of anything huge and we didnt end messy or anything. but he apologized for everything he ever did to me and promised he was going to change himself. we both agreed we’d always be best friends. i asked him if he would start dating anyone and he told me no because he wasnt ready for a new relationship. 2 days later i open discord and check his profile bc i was gonna go dm him smthn and i see an anniversary date that started yesterday and i immediately start fucking shaking and bawling and he tells me he didnt tell me about his mew partner because he “knew id react like this” am i in the wrong for panicking? am i being selfish because hes moving on so fast?? or is how im feeling valid? im really heartbroken over all of this because im like the loneliest fucking person ever and hes all i have. even after the break up we’ve been telling eachother how much we loved and cared for eachother. he replaced me so fast. how am i supposed to react?? this is cringe im sorry 😢

You aren't in the wrong for panicking, and honestly, I don't think this is a person to be friends with. He's a liar. You broke up amicably, but essentially he was cheating on you. You asked if he'd start dating soon, and he said no and obviously was or had been. You aren't being selfish. To me, it's not about moving on so fast as much about the lying and if it was 2 days later...that had been going on during your relationship. It's not cringe...he's a jerk and I think you should consider yourself lucky you learned it now rather than later.

💚💚

[askdylie]

I’m really depressed. I need some tips on how to bring happiness back into my life.

Well, for one, don't be afraid to seek professional help. There seems to be a stigma around it, but if you are depressed, talk to a doctor or therapist. Medication can help and isn't something you should be ashamed about.

I've talked to a therapist before.

But also, try and do things that make you happy. Try to surround yourself with people that make you happy and if you don't have a lot of those people in your life, try something new and try to meet people!

Get fresh air!

And always remember that everyone has down times and it will get better!

💚💚

[askdylie]

Dylie,

I am a man in my mid 40's. I recently met a gay guy in his mid 20's on line and we started communicating via snapchat. He is engaged to a guy close to his age, but is unhappy with him sexually because the guy I am talking to wants to be uninhibited and explore things sexually while his fiance is very conservative in bed. I love to be uninhibited in bed and we have talked in great detail about things we would like to do as discreet fwb. The problem is that we have planned to meet up three times now, but each time something has come up and he isn't able to meet. Do you think he is serious about meeting, or just using our conversations to fantasize about things he cannot experience with his fiance? Would love to hear your thoughts as you guys are close in age and you are with an older man yourself.

Ello dood.

Very interesting situation. I feel like a lot of people are unhappy with their partners in bed, whether it's not getting enough or not being adventurous enough.

I will be honest with you, though. I don't believe he has any intention of meeting up. I think he probably gets off on the fantasy and social interaction, even if it's just online. Are you okay with that? If not, I probably wouldn't talk to him anymore.

Good luck 💕

[askdylie]

Dear Dylie,

My younger adult sister has lost some weight and is starting to get out more, try new things & dating, which is commendable & incredible! I am truly happy for her but she is changing, like we all do! But I find myself not necessarily liking the some of the changes probably because I’ve had this image of her all these years & felt like I knew her and it’s strange trying to see her as she as now, this truer version I guess. Any thoughts on how I handle these feelings/thoughts? I don’t think I should share this with her, right? I know he’s the older one but have you experienced anything similar with your bubba?

Thanks,

Befuddled Brother

Hello anon!

I can't say that I've experienced anything like that with Bubba. Any changes he's had have been for the better.

I think you need to elaborate on what you don't like. Losing weight, going out, trying new things and dating sounds great. Unless she is going out with the wrong people or maybe developing an attitude, I think you should just be supportive. If there are bad things she's doing, maybe you could mention that or tell her that you are worried, otherwise, I don't think you should share anything.

Do you think your feelings could be a bit of jealousy? Or just worry for her?

[askdylie]

So I’ve been going to pt (physical therapy) for a couple of months & I really like a couple of the guys that work there. They’re really outgoing, friendly & talkative & they have great energy! My last few sessions are coming up and I’d like to hang out & maybe be friends afterwards. How do I go about initiating that conversation? Like what would/could I say that doesn’t sound cringey or creepy?

Oh god. As social as I am, most people initiate things with me 😂

Hm, maybe my followers would better help you with this. Maybe get the conversation towards a restaurant or bar you like (one that everyone likes) and if they say, "oh i love that place" you could be like, "nice, maybe we could all get a drink sometime or grab a bite to eat?"

I don't think that would be cringe or creepy!

[askdylie]

Okay, have been very limited physically for medical reasons the last few months. Have joined a gym, Planet Fitness, but not sure what to work on or with to try and get some stamina built up and start moving again.

My question is what equipment would you recommend for me to start on. Medically cleared but not sure what to start with. Would honestly prefer not to do much work with weights until I have started building up some endurance and stamina first.

Well, I'm sorry to hear about your medical issues but glad you seem to be past them. I think for stamina/endurance, and if you don't want to work with weights, I would start with the elliptical machine. It's one of my favorite cardio workouts and it works a lot more muscles than a treadmill. You can start at a lower setting and work your way up. 💚💪🏼

[askdylie]

Hi. I'm Dylie. AKA Dylan. AKA Dazed Dylan.

Anyway, sometimes people ask me for advice and some people say I'm pretty good at it. If you need to vent or want an opinion on a matter, ask away! Anonymous or not 😊