Ask Glen Carter

Tracker. DMV Slave. Jelly Bean. If you need it found, I can find it. For a price, of course. (Blacklist RP)

[askglenjellybeancarter]

Glen it was so great to see you again this week! I thought your sweatband went so well with your bowling team shirt. ;-) How long have you been playing pool? Will you try out Dembe's bowling tips? And how are those two blondes of yours doing?

Thank you! It does help to be dapper. It messes psychologically with your opponent and also dazzles the ladies. I’ve been playing pool for three years...though I know it might seem like it’s been a lot longer. I’ll take @askdembezuma ‘s advice on bowling if he gets his butt out on the lanes with me. As for the girls, they’re doing great. Planning on entering them a pet Halloween costume contest. 

[askglenjellybeancarter]

Hello Glen You're the only one who can tease Red.Why you do that always. @askraymondredredding is such a sweetie Be gentle for him he has a hard time now. To search for Elizabeth and Agnes

If I’m too easy on him, he’ll wallow in his sorrow. He needs a friend to cheer him up sometimes, that’s why I do it. Life sucks and sometimes he takes it all too seriously. That said, I’ll do everything I can to help find Elizabeth and Agnes. I’m sure @askraymondredreddington knows that. 

[askhudsondog]

Knock. Knock.

Hey, @askraymondredreddington!  Are you home?  It’s me. Hudson Keen.  You know, Lizzie’s dog?  Can you open the door please?  I know you live here.  And I can hear meowing!  @askmrcatington, I can hear you and smell you.  Please let me in. 

I brought my own bone!

[askmrcatington]

Are you crazy? If anyone around here sees me with a dog, I’ll never hear the end of it.

Did Donnie throw you out? Chew up too many of his batman boxers?

[askraymondredreddington]

@askmrcatington, don’t provoke him. You’ll make the dog more excitable than he already is - and I have enough on my plate dealing with your needy nature without the dog as well. 

@askhudsondog, what are you doing here? Weren’t you back at the apartment? Ah … I see the dilemma. Where had you been staying? @askdonaldressler? Or maybe @askarammojtabai? 

Listen to me - you’re cute - but I don’t have the time …

[soshore77]

Aw, come on Red, look after the poor dog. I think he’s been through enough abandonment lately. Or you could see if Glen’s available……

[askhudsondog]

Thanks for the support @soshore77! It’s been ruff being me. I just want a little attention. Maybe a belly rub or nice ear scratch. Is that too much to ask???

[soshore77]

@askhudsondog If you really need some good belly rubs, a fun walk and some good scoff (beef fillet good for you?) then find your way to London and I’ll adopt you!

[askhudsondog]

Oh, I’ll sure keep that in mind! Beef anything sounds good to me. You are super pawesome, @soshore77.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

Hudson can visit me if he wants later, but I’m not letting @askraymondredreddington off the hook just yet. I do have a life, you know. 

[askglenjellybeancarter]

I wouldn't know about the carpet cleaner, but I bet you @askmisterkaplan probably does.

Whaddya say, @askmisterkaplan ? What’s your trick for barf? It’s gotta be easier than blood...right? Please say I’m right. I am really gonna lose my security deposit here. 

[askglenjellybeancarter]

How are those sweet two ladies Red set you up with?

They’re..well..I never was a dog person before. But I think I am now. Other than the barfing. Who knew dogs couldn’t eat tacos? I mean, I’m not a complete dumbass, but I figure if they can eat roadkill in a can, a little Taco Bell shouldn’t hurt them, right? Wrong. Big wrong. You don’t happen to know a good place to rent a carpet cleaner, do ya?

[askraymondredreddington]

Let me introduce you to my team,

While I try to take some time out for myself, and my wine, let me introduce you to the patient souls who help to keep the Reddington wheels turning :

@askdembezuma @askmisterkaplan @askglenjellybeancarter @askmarvingerard

They’re so often overlooked by people. Never by me. Even if Glen is a pain in the ass.

[asktheblacklist]

Go ask Red’s Army your questions tonight! 

[askglenjellybeancarter]

You act like striking it through means I can’t read it.

And do you really want to piss off someone who can get your car impounded with two keystrokes?

[askraymondredreddington]

Do you have a favourite country to visit?

Well. That all depends on the reasons for visiting. I try to find something beautiful in each country I visit.

Scotland for it’s sharp edges. Brazil for it’s passion.Australia for it’s ease.Switzerland for it’s chocolate.I could go on and on. So no, I don’t have a favourite. I have favourite reasons to visit, but not a favourite location.

[soshore77]

Dude, your ‘its’ are wrong. Noooooo…..

[askraymondredreddington]

So they are.

It may be the result of two bottles of wine. 

[askglenjellybeancarter]

Well, well, well....if it’s not the Grammar Nazi!

Got a little too much time on your hands?

[roguenaval]

[askglenjellybeancarter]

I will admit, this was not my finest moments. But @askraymondreddington really doesn’t need to bring it up every time I see him. That’s totally dsylexic discrimination!

[askmarvingerard]

BRING YOUR WORST 

I am now taking questions about my escapades with these goons, or anything at all. 

[asktheblacklist]

We’re happy to welcome Marvin Gerard to our team. Go ask him your questions!

[askglenjellybeancarter]

How about legal advice? 

[askdonaldressler]

You and Tom bicker a lot about the other making assumptions about past experiences/upbringings/etc... Name one true (and meaningful!) thing about your past that he doesn't know and ask him to do the same. Honesty hour for Tessler!

Why do you anons want to force this Tessler thing on us?  @askthomasvincentkeen and I aren’t friends.

Besides, I doubt a liar by trade would willing offer up anything truthful to me.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Hey now. It’s not my anon. They asked you, Ressler. You afraid it might smudge your perfect boy scout persona? 

[askdonaldressler]

I’ve done a few things recently that have smudged that persona.  I have nothing to hide.

Doubt you can say the same.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Prove it then. One thing. That’s all they asked for. The fact that you haven’t done it yet means you do have something to hide. 

What is it, Donnie? Deep dark secret that you don’t want anyone to know or something that just makes you look like an idiot? You afraid of spiders or something?

[askglenjellybeancarter]

No, he’s afraid of Garden Gnomes.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Yeah, I don’t think that’s the depth the anon was going for. We all know about @askdonaldressler‘s hatred of gnomes. 

[askdonaldressler]

Real funny, Glen.  Real funny.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

Hey, you don’t stomp the life out of a garden gnome and not expect to hear it about for the rest of your life. 

[askdonaldressler]

Don’t you have some criminal to hunt down for Reddington or something?  Or are you a stand up comedian on the side?  I wouldn’t quit your day job.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

I can be hilarious and useful at the same time. Just like your hair.

[askdonaldressler]

Don’t be jealous.  It’s not my fault you don’t have any.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

I have hair. It’s just not on my head. Just ask @askraymondreddington

[askdonaldressler]

TMI, Glen, TMI.

I don’t even want to know.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

I’m not asking you to look at it. You’re not my type, Ressie.

[askdonaldressler]

Ressie?  

Don’t ever call me that again.  

[askglenjellybeancarter]

Okay.

Ressie.

[askdonaldressler]

You and Tom bicker a lot about the other making assumptions about past experiences/upbringings/etc... Name one true (and meaningful!) thing about your past that he doesn't know and ask him to do the same. Honesty hour for Tessler!

Why do you anons want to force this Tessler thing on us?  @askthomasvincentkeen and I aren’t friends.

Besides, I doubt a liar by trade would willing offer up anything truthful to me.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Hey now. It’s not my anon. They asked you, Ressler. You afraid it might smudge your perfect boy scout persona? 

[askdonaldressler]

I’ve done a few things recently that have smudged that persona.  I have nothing to hide.

Doubt you can say the same.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Prove it then. One thing. That’s all they asked for. The fact that you haven’t done it yet means you do have something to hide. 

What is it, Donnie? Deep dark secret that you don’t want anyone to know or something that just makes you look like an idiot? You afraid of spiders or something?

[askglenjellybeancarter]

No, he’s afraid of Garden Gnomes.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Yeah, I don’t think that’s the depth the anon was going for. We all know about @askdonaldressler‘s hatred of gnomes. 

[askdonaldressler]

Real funny, Glen.  Real funny.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

Hey, you don’t stomp the life out of a garden gnome and not expect to hear it about for the rest of your life. 

[askdonaldressler]

Don’t you have some criminal to hunt down for Reddington or something?  Or are you a stand up comedian on the side?  I wouldn’t quit your day job.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

I can be hilarious and useful at the same time. Just like your hair.

[askdonaldressler]

Don’t be jealous.  It’s not my fault you don’t have any.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

I have hair. It’s just not on my head. Just ask @askraymondreddington

[askdonaldressler]

TMI, Glen, TMI.

I don’t even want to know.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

I’m not asking you to look at it. You’re not my type, Ressie.

[askdonaldressler]

You and Tom bicker a lot about the other making assumptions about past experiences/upbringings/etc... Name one true (and meaningful!) thing about your past that he doesn't know and ask him to do the same. Honesty hour for Tessler!

Why do you anons want to force this Tessler thing on us?  @askthomasvincentkeen and I aren’t friends.

Besides, I doubt a liar by trade would willing offer up anything truthful to me.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Hey now. It’s not my anon. They asked you, Ressler. You afraid it might smudge your perfect boy scout persona? 

[askdonaldressler]

I’ve done a few things recently that have smudged that persona.  I have nothing to hide.

Doubt you can say the same.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Prove it then. One thing. That’s all they asked for. The fact that you haven’t done it yet means you do have something to hide. 

What is it, Donnie? Deep dark secret that you don’t want anyone to know or something that just makes you look like an idiot? You afraid of spiders or something?

[askglenjellybeancarter]

No, he’s afraid of Garden Gnomes.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Yeah, I don’t think that’s the depth the anon was going for. We all know about @askdonaldressler‘s hatred of gnomes. 

[askdonaldressler]

Real funny, Glen.  Real funny.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

Hey, you don’t stomp the life out of a garden gnome and not expect to hear it about for the rest of your life. 

[askdonaldressler]

Don’t you have some criminal to hunt down for Reddington or something?  Or are you a stand up comedian on the side?  I wouldn’t quit your day job.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

I can be hilarious and useful at the same time. Just like your hair.

[askdonaldressler]

Don’t be jealous.  It’s not my fault you don’t have any.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

I have hair. It’s just not on my head. Just ask @askraymondreddington

[askdonaldressler]

You and Tom bicker a lot about the other making assumptions about past experiences/upbringings/etc... Name one true (and meaningful!) thing about your past that he doesn't know and ask him to do the same. Honesty hour for Tessler!

Why do you anons want to force this Tessler thing on us?  @askthomasvincentkeen and I aren’t friends.

Besides, I doubt a liar by trade would willing offer up anything truthful to me.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Hey now. It’s not my anon. They asked you, Ressler. You afraid it might smudge your perfect boy scout persona? 

[askdonaldressler]

I’ve done a few things recently that have smudged that persona.  I have nothing to hide.

Doubt you can say the same.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Prove it then. One thing. That’s all they asked for. The fact that you haven’t done it yet means you do have something to hide. 

What is it, Donnie? Deep dark secret that you don’t want anyone to know or something that just makes you look like an idiot? You afraid of spiders or something?

[askglenjellybeancarter]

No, he’s afraid of Garden Gnomes.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Yeah, I don’t think that’s the depth the anon was going for. We all know about @askdonaldressler‘s hatred of gnomes. 

[askdonaldressler]

Real funny, Glen.  Real funny.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

Hey, you don’t stomp the life out of a garden gnome and not expect to hear it about for the rest of your life. 

[askdonaldressler]

Don’t you have some criminal to hunt down for Reddington or something?  Or are you a stand up comedian on the side?  I wouldn’t quit your day job.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

I can be hilarious and useful at the same time. Just like your hair.

[askdonaldressler]

You and Tom bicker a lot about the other making assumptions about past experiences/upbringings/etc... Name one true (and meaningful!) thing about your past that he doesn't know and ask him to do the same. Honesty hour for Tessler!

Why do you anons want to force this Tessler thing on us?  @askthomasvincentkeen and I aren’t friends.

Besides, I doubt a liar by trade would willing offer up anything truthful to me.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Hey now. It’s not my anon. They asked you, Ressler. You afraid it might smudge your perfect boy scout persona? 

[askdonaldressler]

I’ve done a few things recently that have smudged that persona.  I have nothing to hide.

Doubt you can say the same.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Prove it then. One thing. That’s all they asked for. The fact that you haven’t done it yet means you do have something to hide. 

What is it, Donnie? Deep dark secret that you don’t want anyone to know or something that just makes you look like an idiot? You afraid of spiders or something?

[askglenjellybeancarter]

No, he’s afraid of Garden Gnomes.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Yeah, I don’t think that’s the depth the anon was going for. We all know about @askdonaldressler‘s hatred of gnomes. 

[askdonaldressler]

Real funny, Glen.  Real funny.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

Hey, you don’t stomp the life out of a garden gnome and not expect to hear it about for the rest of your life. 

[askdonaldressler]

You and Tom bicker a lot about the other making assumptions about past experiences/upbringings/etc... Name one true (and meaningful!) thing about your past that he doesn't know and ask him to do the same. Honesty hour for Tessler!

Why do you anons want to force this Tessler thing on us?  @askthomasvincentkeen and I aren’t friends.

Besides, I doubt a liar by trade would willing offer up anything truthful to me.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Hey now. It’s not my anon. They asked you, Ressler. You afraid it might smudge your perfect boy scout persona? 

[askdonaldressler]

I’ve done a few things recently that have smudged that persona.  I have nothing to hide.

Doubt you can say the same.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Prove it then. One thing. That’s all they asked for. The fact that you haven’t done it yet means you do have something to hide. 

What is it, Donnie? Deep dark secret that you don’t want anyone to know or something that just makes you look like an idiot? You afraid of spiders or something?

[askglenjellybeancarter]

No, he’s afraid of Garden Gnomes.

[askglenjellybeancarter]

Red begs to differ

Red is the best judge of character I’ve ever met. So if he trusts me, I would say there’s a good reason. 

[askglenjellybeancarter]

I hate pathological liars

Are you talking to me or the mouse in your pocket? Because I don’t lie.