LOOK OUT, YOUNG SON.

Congrats, you're a stalker. Your mother must be so proud. I'm sure an introduction is unnecessary, but to spare the pathetic and socially inept among us, I'll do it anyway. I'm Kitty Wilde, HBIC in Lima, Ohio. Remember it. Forget it and you'll regret it. I'm currently a Senior at WMHS, captain of the nationally ranked Cheerios, president of the Left Behind Club, a member of the New Directions, and the blogger behind SoCalKit™. Therefore, I'm too important for the likes of you. And yes, I'm single...no, I don't want your number, nor will I give you "my digits."

[fakingit-gifs]

[lkfkgmfkgmfkgmfkg-deactivated20]

A shit load of people started stalking you....

Can’t say I blame you, I know you lot need some real eye candy around this place. If you have any questions you can send them here. Whats s’up stalkers?

[askkwilde-blog]

I had a witty comeback to completely wreck your confidence for the day, Suckerman, but then I had to click onto your blog to reply and lost all train of thought. Nice to see you're still exposing yourself to minors, all in the pursuit of finally obtaining that lifelong dream of yours to be incarcerated.

[askkwilde-blog]

Well that was disturbing.

[ask-jhart-deactivated20141007]

They’re adorable, Kitty. We know you love it.

[askkwilde-blog]

What I would love is a full time position at a high end fashion company, a date with Zac Efron, and an invite to Quinn's first big time movie premiere or a front row seat when she receives her first of many Oscars. Did Artie and Quinn's sex life make that list? If you're capable of reading, you would see that, no, it definitely did not. And while I'm not sure what your definition of adorable is exactly, I now know it's perverted at the very least.

[askkwilde-blog]

Well that was disturbing.

[ask-sebssmythe-deactivated20141]

Fabray is with wheels? Damn… Can’t believe love can be that blind. 

[askkwilde-blog]

Well, I awkwardly don't know what to even say to you now since you've been scolded by Mary Poppins. Do you always keel over like a little possum when someone confronts you?

[ask-sugsmotta-deactivated201504]

I am please to announce that Unique is officially a New York resident!

[ask-sugsmotta-deactivated201504]

Thank you, Kitty! Of course a congratulations from you is most valuable. I hope to continue to make you and the rest of Lima proud. How are things, by the way? How’s school? And how’s your stomach, I noticed you were feeling ill earlier, though to be fair, I happen to think Artie is quite attractive.

[askkwilde-blog]

School is as annoying as ever, but did you expect anything different? The only highlight in my day is making freshmen Cheerios cry. It allows me to vent my frustration and get brownie points with Coach Sylvester. My stomach was fine until you mentioned your grotesque crush on Four Eyes Mc Stubbins, so thanks for that. And though I think Quinn deserves better, I do have to advise you to stay away because - despite you being in New York now - my scissors could totally still find their way to a meeting with your favorite weave.

How's life?

[thesantanalopz]

The word girl makes her seem nice and normal, maybe even sweet. Believe me, she’s more dragon than she is human. Pretty sure Jesus himself would come down from Heaven and give you a high five if you disposed of her.

I despised you ‘cuz you gave my girl laxatives and showed her how to shove her fingers down her throat. But I’ll take the lesser of two evils.

[askkwilde-blog]

I'll have to think about it then because you're definitely not wrong in anything you said.

Two words: Move. On. Marley has, I have, the rest of the world has. You're really only giving credit to that Slow-pez nickname of yours by dwelling on it.

[askkwilde-blog]

Well that was disturbing.

[askwheelywonka]

I would apologize but I ain’t even sorry, so.

[askkwilde-blog]

I think that really only speaks to your vile, sinful nature, Abrams. But then again, you are a McKinley graduate and it's sort of a requirement there. Quinn and I being the only exceptions of course. Congrats on snagging one of the two, I guess, though I don't understand how it happened and probably don't want to.

[adorably--evil-blog-blog]

I can't believe it took me this long to get one of these.

It’s actually pretty awesome.

[askkwilde-blog]

I don't see why you're so shocked. You've always been more on the slow side, Flopson.

[ask-sugsmotta-deactivated201504]

I am please to announce that Unique is officially a New York resident!

Brittany and I are still looking for an official place to live, but Papa Adams pulled some strings with his boss, who graciously agreed to let me use his Manhattan pied-a-terre until I find something more permanent. So, just waiting on Britts to find some time beyond her busy genius schedule to go apartment hunting! Meanwhile, FILL UP MY ASKBOX 

[askkwilde-blog]

I think I'll spare you the back-handed compliment for now and get straight to the congratulations. That's awesome, Unique. I'm actually sort of proud of you -- an emotion I never thought you'd evoke from me.

[askqueentee-blog]

Consider my arm twisted

I finally caved and got one of these—gotta keep up with the trendy social media after all. Plus, it looks like there’s a lot of familiar faces floating around here so I think it was a good call to hop on at last. That and it looks like Facebook is mostly our parents and other random family members we never knew we had; so, it’s probably good we all migrated to something new. I’ll admit, I got stuck in a couple of tags already (mainly attractive people and attractive clothing) which is why my into post is a little bit delayed. Sorry/not sorry.

[askqueentee-blog]

[askkwilde-blog]

Wow, Blowhen-Wang finally decided to show her face. You're late as usual, congrats. You can keep what tags you investigate to yourself, by the way. I'd rather not know of your journeys into the unsavory side of Tumblr because I'm sure you'll eventually find your way there out of desperation. Anyway, how's life?

[askkwilde-blog]

Well that was disturbing.

Number one on my list of things I did not need to know? Anything about the Stephen Hawking wannabe's love life -- even if it's with Lima's angel, Quinn Fabray. Remind me not to check my dashboard so early in the morning. I'm currently trying to keep my Starbucks from making a reappearance.

[thesantanalopz]

I’d rather stab myself in the eye than have to spend more than two minutes with her. Oh, please, if Coach lets that trashy whore take over the Cheerios I’m coming straight to Lima and knocking some sense into her. Surprisingly, the judges at Nationals don’t judge on how much of your vagina they can see ‘cuz someone conveniently forgot to wear underwear that day.

[askkwilde-blog]

Well, I really have no other choice. The girl -- if you can even call her that -- seriously makes me reconsider my reformed ways. I'd love to destroy her, but in the name of Jesus, I'll just continue to make her life a living hell every chance I get instead.

So you'd rather me as captain? That's a change. I'd never thought you'd see the error of your ways when you choose to despise me, Lopez.

[askkwilde-blog]

askspicysnix replied to your post “Who can you not stand but have no choice but to put up with?”

Never thought I'd see the day where I'd willingly agree with you about something, but I second that.

Well, at least we can come to terms on how psychotic the bitch is. Be grateful you don't have to deal with her on a daily basis. I never thought she could be more thirsty for something than the male anatomy, but apparently she wants my power as Head Cheerio too. Go figure.

[askkwilde-blog]

what are you planning to be for Halloween?

As a Christian, I don't completely agree with Halloween. It's totally Satan worship if you ask me or Nana Wilde, but I'll be going as an angel like I have every year since I was six -- toting a Bible around and handing out church flyers to the truly despicable people I encounter. It's entertaining at least. Marley always has fun when she goes with me, just ask her.

[askkwilde-blog]

Who can you not stand but have no choice but to put up with?

Bree.

[askkwilde-blog]

Blondes, or brunettes?

Blondes obviously. I mean, when you have examples such as myself, Quinn Fabray, and Marilyn Monroe, brunettes really can’t compare can they?

[askevangersam-blog]

I know it probs totally just slipped your brain, but you definitely meant to add your fave blonde broski to that list, AKA me….right?

[askkwilde-blog]

Nope, sorry. Marley would have made the list before you actually.

[askkwilde-blog]

Do you love yourself?

What isn't there to love? I mean, honestly, I dare you to find fault in my smoking hot body, perfect GPA, and stunning leadership skills. It's almost as if Jesus himself hand-selected everything about me so I can't fail.