Realistic Realist

[askrealisticrealist]

//Realistic Realist askblog. All tags are ooc. TW for transphobia, cannibalism, death, being mean, etc. Ask to tag. Everything in-character here is absolutely not my thoughts. 

[suscept]

that one friend whose blood you'll never wash out from your hands 😂

[askrealisticrealist]

I like women

All of them?

There seem to be an awful lot of women these days.

[askorwellianrealist]

how many women are there, Realistic?

[askrealisticrealist]

More than 3.

[askorwellianrealist]

Wow, good for them! more than 3... less than 10?

[askrealisticrealist]

No. At least 10.

[askorwellianrealist]

You're right, that's a lot.

[askrealisticrealist]

Orwellian, what was the purpose of this interaction?

[askrealisticrealist]

I like women

All of them?

There seem to be an awful lot of women these days.

[askorwellianrealist]

how many women are there, Realistic?

[askrealisticrealist]

More than 3.

[askorwellianrealist]

Wow, good for them! more than 3... less than 10?

[askrealisticrealist]

No. At least 10.

[askrealisticrealist]

I like women

All of them?

There seem to be an awful lot of women these days.

[askorwellianrealist]

how many women are there, Realistic?

[askrealisticrealist]

More than 3.

[askrealisticrealist]

I like women

All of them?

There seem to be an awful lot of women these days.

[jetpack]

It’s “its”, not “it’s”. My junior copywriter minion has been... dealt with. Read more on my blog.

[askrealisticrealist]

I like men

Why? 

[lmaoidkwhatnametochoose-deactiv]

look at them lol

[askrealisticrealist]

I've observed them thoroughly. Though on occasion one is physically appealing, they are on the whole inefficient and mildly irritating -- an exception, of course, being myself. I'm inefficient and excessively irritating.

[jame7t]

I put on the maid outfit and I make your house messier

[ask-pisssoc]

Imagine not being canon. L

[askrealisticrealist]

Pisssoc, you were in one (1) frame of the canon series, and that was as a throwaway joke. In what way is that canon?

[ask-pisssoc]

Silence, realist!

It still counts! It's not like I'm an OC, or anything!

[askrealisticrealist]

Well, at this point, you basically are. Canon Pisssoc (all 3 seconds of him) didn't have depression or an apparent inferiority complex. Canon Pisssoc wouldn't say "L," a slang term intended to insult the recipients to which it is intended. You're not even British.

[ask-pisssoc]

God, I'm not canon?

Well. No one appears to think I am, but I'll prove all the haters wrong. I just need more power, and I'll be on level with any great ideology!

Of course I'm not British! Britain is so small and cringe. No way could it conquer half the world's landmass again. And I don't have an inferiority complex!

Shit, am I even real? I try not to ask myself that but I am now. Realistic, you know what's real and what's not. Am I real?

[askrealisticrealist]

Hm... Probably not.

[ask-pisssoc]

That’s not true! That can’t be true. Well, how are you defining reality? I may not have a physical body, but I don’t need one. I’m an ideology. An ideology exists if people believe in it. People believe in me. Why don’t I exist, Realistic? Can I become real? 

[askrealisticrealist]

Although, as someone devoted to the certainty of objective reality, I define as existing things that take up physical, 3-dimensional space, however there are undeniably things that exist that do not: light, for example, takes up no space, but still has an observable existence, defined travel time, and measurable effect on matter. In addition, obviously, a concept such as yourself exists simply due to being conceived of; therefore, it’s certainly possible for you to do so. 

Now that’s getting into the realm of philosophy, which is not my specialty. I’m most versed in objective science and math, but I can give you some basic starting points. It was Descartes, I believe, who said, “Cogito, ergo sum,” which, translated to English, means “I think, therefore I am.” His logic was that having the ability to observe facts of one’s existence necessitates that existence. Though it is possible to be misinformed about the nature of one’s existence, by this logic, it is not possible for someone who does not exist to believe that he does, as the very existence of belief implies a consciousness in which to house it. 

[ask-pisssoc]

Cool. Not reading all that. Do I exist or not? 

[askrealisticrealist]

*Sigh.* That’s what I just asked you! Abstract philosophy is not my strong suit.

Alright, I can try to summarize it for you. In short, the existence of thoughts implies a consciousness, and some form of existence in which to house that consciousness. Do you have thoughts? 

[ask-pisssoc]

Absolutely not.

But other people think about me, isn’t that the same thing? 

[askrealisticrealist]

Most certainly not. The masses can think about anything, and public opinion has no bearing on truth. You're either alive or not, and all that that depends on is whether you're alive or not; the opinions of non-experts have no bearing here, however large a crowd (besides, your following is small). Pisssoc, it's a simple question, with a yes or no answer. Are you real?

[ask-pisssoc]

Don't ask me questions! My only strength is that I don't know anything!

[askrealisticrealist]

Whyever would you want to be ignorant? If you don't know yourself, Pisssoc, who will?

[ask-pisssoc]

I have to! Because of what I am, I don't have a choice. If I know nothing, then I am nothing, and then people can believe whatever they want about me, keeping me alive! I only need to stay in the public consciousness! I only need to be thought of! I could be so powerful if I only had worship!

[askrealisticrealist]

That logic is so flawed; I can't even.

[askrealisticrealist]

Go listen to this.

Link

[askrealisticrealist]

what about math rock do you like math rock?

What is math r...

holy shit this fuckin slaps

[askrealisticrealist]

what do you consider "good music?" elevator music, like what probably plays in your brain at all times?

Actually, I don't like music much at all. It's not my cup of tea. I occasionally listen to that Lo-Fi Radio on the YouTube website, when noises (Orwellian Realist) distract me from my strategizing.

[askrealisticrealist]

Hello this is Neil Cicierega aka Lemon Demon I'm on my side account because my main got locked out of my main account. can you please give me your credit card information so i can buy a new microphone and continue making music.

I wouldn't give my credit card number out on the internet, not even if you were a good musician.

[askrealisticrealist]

If this isn't dungeons and dragons, what was I doing roleplaying with your mother last night?

You were roleplaying with the abstract concept of mathematical principles?

Well, then, I imagine you were researching mathematics or solving problems.

[ask-pisssoc]

Many beautiful women are following me. I am finally getting the recognition I deserve!

[askrealisticrealist]

They're not real.

[rp-meme-glaceon]

Yankee Candle Asks

Balsam and Cedar- Is there something you do or once did that you never would have considered in the past?

Christmas Cookie- What do you love/hate about the holidays?

Vanilla Cupcake- How do you celebrate your birthday?

Macintosh- What are some ways you stay physically/mentally/spiritually healthy?

Ciderhouse- Do you like or hate foods and drinks with bitter flavors?

Home for the Holidays- Could people describe you as childish or sensitive?

Sicilian Lemon- What are your thoughts on seaside themed decor?

Spiced Pumpkin- Describe your best friend/rival

Black Cherry- Do you have any secrets you are willing to share?

Banana Nut Bread- Describe something you find comforting

Cinnamon Stick- Do you like spicy things? Why or why not?

Autumn Leaves- What is something you find particularly beautiful about nature?

Clean Cotton- Do you have laundry that needs to get done?

Fresh Cut Roses- How did your first ever date go?

White Strawberry Bellini- Do you drink? What was your first ever alcoholic beverage?

Mistletoe- What is something you want in a relationship?

Chocolate Layer Cake- What is something you really want that is completely superficial? Why?

Whipped Pumpkin Spice- What are three guilty pleasures of yours?

Home Sweet Home- Describe your home, living space, bedroom, ect.

Dried Lavender and Oak- Describe the last dream you had that you can remember

White Christmas- Do you like snow? Why or why not?

Be Thankful- Are you…?

Child’s Wish- Tell is a funny story

Eucalyptus- How do you prepare for bed?

Coconut Beach- All of the money and power you need falls into your lap. What do you do with it?

French Vanilla- Does ice cream taste better in summer or winter?

Beach Walk- What is your favorite sea creature?

New England Blueberry- Have you ever gotten upset at someone only to immediately regret it?

Cranberry Chutney- What is a food or drink you really want to try?

Juicy Watermelon- Who is someone you will not miss?

Warm Luxe Cashmere- Do You like it cold or hot?

MidSummer Night- If you were on death row, what would your last meal request be?

Pineapple Cilantro- What is something unusual about yourself?

Mountain Lodge- Do you wish you could hibernate?

Magical Frosted Forest- What is your favorite mythological animal? Why?

Tropical Starfruit- What experience left a sour memory?

Life’s a Breeze- Is it true…?

Café Al Fresco- How do you like your coffee?

Mystic Moon- Favorite constellation?