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@asksimonstride-blog
As a fellow Simon did you love "Love, Simon"?
Before reading this question Iād never heard of thisĀ āLove, Simon,ā so I looked it up andā¦
Is this what you sick, godless men do when youāre not soliciting my inbox? Go to public areas to collectively watch as men abandon all ethical standard as they leer at and grope other men? Society is truly becoming some monstrous, violent, shriveled-up version of itself.
kill shag or marry for jekyll lanyon & utterson
What an inane, badly constructed question that corners one into some manner of sin! I see why you chose to remain anonymous - I too would be ashamed of this pointless question.
However, if forced to choose, I would have to kill Jekyll, and leave the other two be. Or kill Jekyll and allow the other two to use their skills, culinary and medicinal, respectively, to serve me. Or kill Jekyll and transfer the other two to my dorm room. Iāve not thought too much of the scenario, unlike the sad fools in my inbox.Ā
How did you meet Henry?
He entered my life like the love interest in a romantic comedy - bland, utterly forgettable, and not worth the time or money.
(We took the same sophomore Introduction to Modern Bioethics class and have hated each other ever since. I believe the trait of his I found most unforgivable was his inability to follow through on basic rules and procedures. Speaking of, misplace the anonymous button again, Henry?)
Emma and I are having a coffee date early tomorrow morning at La Meridienne. If you and your large pasty friend would like to hide behind your menus at the corner table and waste away from jealousy you're welcome to.
How nice to hear from you, Simon! I appreciate your kind invitation, but unfortunately I doubt Iāll have quite the time on my hands as you do what with, you know, meetings and award ceremonies and all those dreadful post-award interviews. Iād hate to leave you on your own after having my presence requested, thoughā¦ I suppose I can double checkā oh! Look at that. It appears that I can pencil this in.
John and I look forward to seeing you there, Stride.
HJ
Very well, then itās a date. And by that I mean it will be a date between Emma and I. You and John will be doing...whatever it is youāll be doing. Alone. Together. On your own date perhaps?
Itās suitably insulting because gay people are an embarrassment, until theyāre damned to hell forever. Like you!
Canāt wait until tomorrow, my sweet @askemmacarew!
THE BOYS ARE BACK YāALL
SEND US ALL THEM QUESTIONS - HENRY, JOHN, AND LANYON ARE READY AND (MOSTLY) WILLING
Humiliating, really
Carry on.
When Iām talking to a parent
But Mr. Stride, if according to you being gay's a sin and being evil is more rewarding than good, you must have really strong feelings for Henry!
Thatā
Why wouldā
I donātā
I donāt understand what is happening here, but I know itās evil. I hope whatever twisted joy you gleaned from this was worth it
What are you doing tomorrow?
Iām thinking of waking up bright and early to sit in the window of a beautiful, high scale coffee shop and watch all the poor fools on this campus struggle to handle their post-Halloween hangovers.
What horrible lies with which did you corrupt Emma in order to manipulate her into entertaining the thought of "trying" the so-called "dating" "thing" with you?
The only horrible lie I told Emma was that you wereĀ āokayā and not the sniveling academic-wannabe you really are. If youāre wondering how our stars finally alignedā¦wellā¦
Animal magnetism.
Hey Simon did you know June is pride month? Look it up!
Pride month? Are you kidding? We need a whole month now for self-hating losers to pretend theyāve got some worth for 30 days? Iām proud 365 days a year.
It's not Henry you have a crush on, it's Lanyon right? :)))
First of all, I canāt have a crush on Lanyon because heās a man. And Iām a man. Youāre following me, right?
Second of all, if Lanyon were a girl ā Iām not even saying youād have to change much, she could still be aā¦ you know, a tall redheaded girl with freckles and a smile you barely ever see but when you do it makes you forget every thought thatās ever passed through your brain ā if he were a girl we could talk. But heās not. So we canāt. Same goes for Henry, Iād be willing to talk about it if things were different. And same for Emma too, you think weād be friends if she were a guy? Hell no.Ā
Lanyon, though I do respect your wishes, perhaps cutting ties was not a good idea. Henry will need someone to guide him, goodness knows he's a disaster case himself - could you please speak to him? That recklessness could have... less than ideal results.
HL: You think I donāt know that?? Iāve tried talking to him. I warned him before he even started this idiocy and I warned him while he was doing it and I warned him before I left the project. Henry is more stubborn than most natural disasters, and about as volatile. If he wants to get himself killed, or tried for unethical research methods, heāll manage it no matter what I do.
(Thatās not to say I wouldnāt help him if he came to me.)
(Whatever. Shut up.)
Sounds like you could use a new best friend a pick-me-up, Hastie!
((Originally 'Good 'n' Evil' was Simon's song, which was given to Lucy, ergo she 'stole' it. XD))
I didnāt know that! I demand aĀ āGoodĀ ānā Evilā Simon-version!! *BANGS FIST ON TABLE**
u shuld find out who's going aftr the upr class an hire them to get rid of jekyll.
I would never do that! That would be extremely unethical.
(which is not to say I wouldnāt be overjoyed if it happened on its own. Thatās what prayerās for, after all!)
From one man of ethics to another, Simon, I think you should know our dear Lucy has stolen your solo song and claimed it as her own. Punishment is in order. -The Spider
Lucy, Emmaās roommate? I had no idea Iād had a solo song, but I knew that girl would turn out rottenā¦ Iām not saying it has to do with her race, but genetics play a big part in oneās predisposition to thievery, you know.
Which would you prefer, being evil or choosing to be evil?
Neither, obviously! Iād prefer to be good, which I am.
Don't you wonder what sort of devilry Jekyll gets up to with his experiments?
Oh, frequently! Hardly a day goes by that the thought does not torment me! The very idea of the unholy foolishness stewing within the cavernous confines of that crooked little brainā¦ Unfortunately, in spite of my repeated attempts to discover the nature of his sins against nature, I have yet to uncover details of precisely what he is researchingā¦ Still, considering the man who has created those details they cannot be anything good.Ā
