Ask the Cores of Aperture Science

An ask blog for the colorful personalities that make up Aperture Science's Personality Androids, also known as Cores!

[askthecoresofaperturescience]

The cores currently available for questions:

Glados Wheatley Neil/Space core Craig/Fact core

[cowboybarney]

ITS PORTAL 2 DAY BABY!!!!

[askthecoresofaperturescience]

AEGIS,did you know that glados is caroline?

The screen goes to static, and glitches a few times as it tries to connect. Instead connecting to a very annoyed looking Glados when it fails. “I just said the Aperture employee guardian intrusion system is offline, did I not? An offline core can not answer your questions. ”

[askthecoresofaperturescience]

Glados,what do you think about the Aperture employee guardian Intrusion system?

“Simply put, he was an annoying pest from the moment we were both activated. As such I never cared much for their existence." She looks away, at a screen. At her mental prodding, it brings up a series of readings and security logs.

"Strangely they seem to have gone offline, but I’m in no hurry to go investigating to see if he’s still alive down there.”

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Craig: No, no, that's a bad idea.

Wheatley: There are no bad ideas, Craig. Only great ideas that go horribly wrong

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Rick, texting: Y'all are insane.

Virgil: Y'all

Nigel: Y'all

Neil: Y'all

Wheatley: Y'all

Rick: Why am I friends with you guys

Craig: *Y'all

Rick: OH MY GOD

[askthecoresofaperturescience]

Wheatley: -Eating spam with a fork-

Nigel: Do you have to eat that straight out of the can? There’s such a thing as quality of life. Treat yourself to a plate and a side salad.

Wheatley: Leave me alone.

Nigel: You don't even know what's in that!

Wheatley: -stares at the meat on his fork- Mostly hoof… and salt.

Nigel: It won't be a bullet that kills you.

[askthecoresofaperturescience]

Wheatley: Lesbians, what is your wisdom?

GlaDOS: World hard and cold… titty soft and warm.

Mel: Girl Hot.

Chell: Watch Naruto

[askthecoresofaperturescience]

Nigel: So, what now? I’m just supposed to do whatever Craig does? What if Craig decided to jump off a cliff?

Virgil: If Craig were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Craig jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Nigel: You jump off a cliff!

Virgil: Gladly, provided Craig jumped first.

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Craig: I just don’t understand it. There’s no way you should be alive drinking that much citranium. At the very least how have your teeth not rotted out of your head?

Nigel: Have you seen what's in that stuff? I'm pretty sure it's radioactive. The sugar is the least of my worries.

[askthecoresofaperturescience]

GlaDOS: All in all, a 100% successful test.

Craig: The Intelligence Dampening Sphere almost died.

GlaDOS: All in all, a 100% successful test.

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Craig: I need you all to be straight with me.

Roy: That's going to be difficult for everyone here.

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Rick: I swing both ways.

Rick: Violently. With a stick.

Rick: Come and get some motherfuckers.

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Craig: Now is not time for your shenanigans!

Rick: It was a single Shenanigan!

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Wheatley: I need an embarrassing fact about Virgil.

Virgil: NO-!

Roy: He has a degree in electrical engineering and still can't tie a tie.

Virgil: ROY!

Wheatley: Wait really?

Virgil: I'm leaving.

Wheatley, calling after him: Even I Can tie a tie!

[askthecoresofaperturescience]

GlaDos: Whenever something happens, why is it always you three?

Wheatley, Virgil, and Nigel, just standing there:

[askthecoresofaperturescience]

Hey guys! Mod Jay here. I know this blogs been….kind of dead. To put it lightly, but me n mod queen have talked n we’re planning on trying to kick it back to running with shitposts/incorrect quotes and maybe even art/reblogs between questions.

Additionally I’m hoping to actually go through the blogs designs and actually redesign some and get some refs done for them. Which I’ll post here when done. I can’t promise they’ll be the fastest thing ever, but hopefully this all will get this blog running again and will stirr up some questions for us to answer.