life just life @asmaismail04 - Tumblr Blog

Friendship

Sometimes to go a meet up and you have your meal together and each person leaves, then you get those meet ups that have no time limits ... you literally can sit for hours and hours just enjoying the moment ... lunch becomes tea and dessert or coffee becomes supper. Places will be closing and you will still be there. Those are the best kind!!! Those are my people! 💙

#friends #expatriate #life #expatblogger #expatlife

Brown People mentality

Brown people mentality still manages to lag behind compared to the century we’re living in. We live in a modern world that is progressing every minute in every possible way. However, people still have some rigid views and ways of doing things, which is hampering the growth of our generation and our future generations.

Judging people based on their anything and everything - please just give up already! Their cars, their houses, their jobs, their colour, their taste ... just about anything and everything!

Interfering in someone else’s matters - Always always minding in business that has nothing to do with you! Making up stories and talking about others non stop.

Not accepting and adapting the changing times - We are not living in the dark ages, stop with gender bias, pathetic judgemental nature, ridiculous expectations of your children to fit into your home patterns long after they are married adults, thinking you're better than others. Sorry but really you are not!

Agreeing and accepting a decision, because the majority of people you know are doing it - Let me remind you wrong is wrong is everyone is doing it and right is right even if no one is doing it.

Assuming that a person who does something you think is wrong is bad in nature, and the one who is in religious show is the purest - Let Allah be the judge, please sit down!

Being okay with all the wrongs and simply moving on with life - Not calling others out on their toxic behaviour is exactly the problem. Not recognising your own toxic traits is an even bigger issue. Stop meddling into your children's lives because you think you know better. You see your very own brother doing something wrong, you know its wrong but you won't call him out on it, because shame! Its your brother.

Social Interdependence - You make it so hard for some people to even have a fighting chance entering your environments. It's all about the who knows who , connections!

Family Authority - Please don't get me wrong, family is the bond of everything but not when it becomes intrusive and invasive and your silly expectations make it so difficult for newly married members for example to enter it.

You know what is right ... the few of us who fight day and night righting the social wrongs and changing the narrative. Investing in our daughters to be successful, not waiting to be dependent on anyone. Raising our sons to be spouses who break that silliness that exists in ludicrous expectations of their wives. Trying to change the mindset of grown adult men. Living a meaningful life filled with moments rather than toxic forced relationships for show. All in the name of family ...

Culture my dear ... is not religion! Do not mix the two. If you had invested as much time in your denial into upgrading your Deeni knowledge, you'd be so far ahead!

Aspects from strorypick.com

At some point we have to change the narrative. If not now ... then when ...

#brown people #life #standup

Every goodbye eats up a part of your ♡

A story about a mum and her son ...

I never knew my heart could hurt this much until today. Today I say goodbye to my son who returns to our home country to study while we stay on in our expat country.

Your children leaving you is natural part of life and part of your parenting is to develop the skills they and you will need when that day happens. That being said it truly isn't any less painful when you family of 4 becomes a family of 3.

My son has a special place in my heart, he is my 1st born, the one who made me a mother, the one who taught me things about myself I never knew were possible.

He is truly a beautiful soul and I don't say this because he is my son. He is calm, easy and comforting. Also mature in his ways, thinking and demeanor. His nature is just peaceful.

I am eternally grateful that he has never been a challenging child. He has never angered me to infuriatingly annoyance nor has he ever disappointed me with ridiculous behaviour or attitude. An absolute gem and blessing in my life since the day he entered it.

My every heartfelt prayer and good wish accompanies him wherever he may go. My son ... my love ... my life ♡♡♡

#expatlife #expatblogger #expatriate #life #expat #motherandson #parenting #prayers

Heart ache 💔

My Teacher heart ache ❤

This expat life is sometimes brutal ... I am not new to it, it is many many years nows yet ...

There is so much I miss about being a teacher in my beautiful South Africa. One might say that I only feel on a point of privilege because if I am certain of anything it is that my teaching years in South Africa were an absolute privilege. I was truly blessed with good schools and great colleagues.

I miss the unity of a staff working towards a shared vision. We had many common goals and ideas and we collaborated and bounced ideas so easily.

I actually miss the morning meetings ... little laughs, smiles, greetings and chit chat! I miss going down to the staff room at break time to our mugs laid out ready for some tea or coffee.

I miss those little things like secret gift buddies, being able to speak without judgement and fear of being targeted after.

I miss that we could sometimes change things when needed and it wasn't questioned. I miss always knowing exactly what was going to happen, I miss long term planning.

I miss staff things we did like birthday teas, and outings in the name of team building. I miss that we could order food for delivery and enjoy it together. We almost always knew exactly what the next person was going to have.

I miss all those school events: concerts, fun days, dress up days, celebrations and sport events. There was a spirit in them like no other.

I miss the thank you for the little things and heartfelt meaning behind them. I miss so much of a system that many in do not even appreciate.

I miss the support staff, my favourites who did little things to make life easier. Running to do you a favour, doing something to help you out when you needed. Helping you clean or put up things you asked for together. I miss the admin staff and laughs and welcoming jokes.

I miss senior management meetings where you had a voice, where you didn't need an appointment and where you could raise your issues and brain storm to address them. Where an open door was literal one!

I miss that when you away or sick, someone checked up on you and someone actually cared about you! Every absense wasn't a question or a doubt.

I miss the constant communication and the consultation, not just decions thrown your way without any consideration. I miss the time take to plan out a year as best as possible to accommodate as many if and but scenarios.

I miss the stability and consistency in so many things and the way so many things are run. The efficiency and planning. I miss having a say in what I would like to teach and not just being what someone else feels.

I miss parents and students who built relationships and didn't always look for finding faults and complaining. I miss that parents complimented and acknowledged the good stuff!

To all my previous colleagues on the other side of the world ... thank you for your love, for your support, for the memories, for the journey of being an EDUCATOR and not being treated like otherwise.

This entire system has been an adjustment that is so hard on some days. The constant micromanagement and lack of trust in you being a professional.

It is a journey I chose, and please don't get me wrong, there is lots to love and enjoy here too ...

I have some beautiful and amazing colleagues here who have honestly become like family, each one is special and adds their own value. They are my now teaching family.

Today I just miss a huge part of my PAST TEACHING FAMILY ❤

#expatblogger #expatlife #life #expat #expatriate #appreciatethelittlethings #teacher #teaching

Life as knew it ... before COVID

I'm putting this here so that one day it will come up as a memory. Life as we knew really changed.

I just realised:

1. I haven't worn a wrist watch since 8 March 2020.

2. I went from 'school holidays are moved forward' to training how to be an online teacher.

3. I started teaching via Microsoft Teams and am now currently in a new semester of doing it.

4. We have missed no school days, just a shift in term dates.

5. I can literally count the times I have left home on my one hand.

6. I have worn the same 4 sets of clothing every single day and 1 pair of sneakers when I did leave home.

7. I have worked longer school hours at a PC than I did in an actual school environment.

8. My full tank of fuel has been not been used up since the 8the of March.

9. I have taken time to reflect how much life we do NOT need.

10. I have learnt how to make a good few favourite take outs at home.

11. I have learnt that you become extremely resourceful when you have to.

12. I am thinking about school frozen in time with my jacket still hanging on the back of my chair.

13. I have taken time to think about what I actually miss in the world.

14. I have made beautiful family memories that wouldn't have happened otherwise.

This is just a few and as I remember I will add on 😁

#lifebeforelockdown #lifebeforecorona #lifebeforequarantine #expatblogger #expatlife #expatriate

Distance Teaching

Here's what I have learnt:

Teachers are probably some of the most resilient humans on Earth. Their ability to respond to pressure, change and uncertainty is most certainly unmatched.

Keep your online lesson structured as you do your classroom lesson. Keep it simple. Using too many links, apps and programs are just going to complicate your life. I'm sticking to PPTs mostly with links to videos. Incorporating activities and posting the others.

Store all your documents you need in a folder on your one drive to pull it up to Microsoft Teams easily. Also keep a back up in case of issues so that you can use the share screen option.

Write down a schedule of your times and hours to doing specific things. I teach 7 classes so loaded onto teams and LMS takes some time.

Have a routine for your day which includes housework, seeing to your own children, preparing meals etc.

Have a buddy system within your subject, grade or school who you can bounce ideas off with and use as your social network in this time.

Do NOT let this consume you, it is very easy to allow to allow it to take over your life. Stick to your off hours for your own sanity.

If you are practicing complete distancing download a yoga app or exercise all that allows you do short bursts of movement to get your daily steps/activity in. Make sure you drink a glass of water every hour. If you're not getting any sun a vitamin D supplement might be an option.

Keep a gratitude journal to jot down 3 things you are grateful for each day, after all this go back to read it and you'll find what truly fulfils your life. I'm now writing down 3 things to improve/reflect/revise at the end of each teaching day that I use for myself.

#quarantine #isloation #distanceteaching

Corona Pandemic

Anyone that knows me, knows that I am very level , very calm and very solution driven.

I do not panic and stress in a hurry. I look at a situation and I deal.

What is am experiencing now is something I have never felt in my life. Processing it alone is taking its toll.

Deep down in the very gut of me ... I just feel uneasy.

I keep saying to myself... THIS TOO SHALL PASS. And deep down I do believe it but just in the here and now I am restless, uneasy and emotional.

Tomorrow is new day, may the sun shine brighter and our faith grow stronger.

#lockdown #panic anxiety #fear

The Bystander Behaviour applies to so many situations:

1. You see someone in need of help (physical, mental, emotional) and you choose to ignore it.

2. You are party to groups, chats, conversations about inappropriate things, harmful gossip, hurtful thoughts and you keep quiet and say nothing.

3. You see your friends and family doing questionable things and you keep quiet.

All of this because you don't want to be bad one or the uncool one. Please stop the bystander behaviour and if you fear addressing something publicly do it privately. Even if you are not actively participating your silence is agreement.

#standup #positive #lifeleadership #life #begood #dogood #thoughts

The single most important marriage advice anyone will ever receive.

Marriage takes hard work, dedication and commitment to one person. If you are not ready to make that sacrifice do yourself a favour and stay single!

Single people and married people do things differently. When you make a decision to give yourself to someone you give up certain things along with it.

It is irresponsible of you and unfair to your spouse for you to still be chatting people up, flirting with the opposite sex, talking about the other sex in flirty inappropriate ways, sharing pictures etc even just to your friends. If you are not mature enough to give all that up for the person you love ... stay single 🥺

#relationship #love #sacrifice #commitment #marriage

I was asked 4 Questions

The questions are:

1. My life motto:

Faith ... love ... happiness

Always walk in faith and never in fear. Do things purely out of love. Happiness comes from being content with what you have. Enjoy the simple pleasures.

2. Message to your future self:

Oh my love! You did amazing ♡♡♡ Stay true ... be you ... Be kind ... Be amazing ...

3. Message to a woman feeling broken:

It too shall pass. Find your own light from within, your value is determined by your measure and not by any of those around you. Things happens and life can disappoint but keep your head strong and focus on becoming a better you. 'Me time' with focus and reflection can fix many of the issues we perceive to have. Healing takes time, take all the time you need.

4. What I celebrate about myself:

My self worth isn't determined by anyone or anything, least of all from opinions. It is however, directly created by me.

#expatfamily #expatblogger #expatlife #expat #happy #health #love

Beautiful Woman ...

A note to the women out there:

1.Take care of yourself, your health is so important. Mental, emotional and physical.

2. Learn to be independent not just financially but lead your own life.

3. Learn to do that one thing you've always wanted to.

4. Learn about finances so you take charge of your own life and don't always have to have someone do it for you.

5. Gift yourself! You don't always have to wait for someone to give you things that you want.

6. If you want to be treated like an equal then be prepared to put in what is required of you.

7. Take equal responsibility of your parents. Its not acceptable to expect everything from your siblings every time.

8. Your career is equally important and the father is equally responsible. Sometimes let dad take over or other family members.

9. Let other family members take care of things in your home. Everyone should share responsibility.

10. Empower yourself and other women around you. Be kind ...

11. Make sure you have a good support network around you.

12. Have social friends, it's really ok to spend time away from your family for yourself.

13. Some women are emotional, others are not and it's really ok.

14. Be prepared to handle situations that come your way. Be calm and reflective when things happen.

15. Find time to increase your knowledge, read read and read some more.

16. Raise your children to be accountable and independent but let them know you will always be there.

17. Be social and share moment but ultimately remember every decision you make is your own.

18. Spend some time doing what you absolutely enjoy.

19. Believe in yourself...... . If you don't, no one else will

20. Be you, be true ... be kind

♡♡♡

#women #life #expatlife #expatblogger #expat

2020 ... a new decade

Years change by the Earth's orbit nothing more nothing less ... every year has good moments and bad moments. There is no year that makes you or breaks but sometimes something momentous happens, something big that changes you ... and such is the cycle year in year out. You will remember the year by events that happens ... love, hurt, loss, happiness ... a series of emotions.

A new year, a new decade and nothing is going to change unless YOU change!

#expatlife #expatblogger #expatfamily #life

On Turning 40 ...

So someone said, "Oh my word! You're turning 40 😮

Like seriously! I was more like "Hell yea! I'm turning 40.

I'm looking forward to it. Hell! I have a ton of achievements behind, super proud of so many ☺️

The only ever so slight lurking thought is that really this is midlife, well just about! I don't know many people who live over 80. I can actually count them on my hand. So in essence I've seen half of my life, grateful and blessed ♡♡♡ and equally frightening.

#lifeat40 #thebig40

When you don't get something you want ... the aftermath ...

So the landscape in which I live, teach and work unfortunately isn't one of stability. Year in and year out things change, contract renewal and uncertainty being the two that worries that consume you this time of the year. Often our employees wait until the very last to inform us of the upcoming years information.

Anyways I applied for a job, which I wasn't 100 % sure about. There was some reservations and doubts but on the day I went anyways. Ironic much as I felt that the interview went really well. A few days later I got an email saying I was not successful. Now many people I knew personally went to so in the days after they were messaging me to ask if I was successful. Only to tell me that they were.

I am an incredibly strong person with very clear goals, thoughts and my general responses to life are hard and tough. No sissy at all! So when I got the news that I was unsuccessful I was actually okay with it until I found out about everyone else who did.

At this point that ugly human nature elements crept it:

What did I say that was so wrong?

What could I have said better?

Why not me?

I prayed for a new job, why was it not accepted?

And by Allah that pushed me to realign my thoughts. I sat back and thought about how much I have to be grateful for. How waiting for my current job to confirm employment is just a way to learn patience. How on any given day you just may not be your best. How different people view different things. And slowly , I start to feel better.

What is meant for me, what is written for me will come to me at the right time. Strength in character is gained from moments in life where we feel or think is the end of the road.

#grateful #Alhamdulillah #expatlife #expatblogger #life

Nasty, ugly and Unnecessary

Life has taught me that sometimes it is better to be quiet then to open your mouth when you are angry as the things that come spitting out are just ugly, nasty and unnecessary. The worst part is that once they are out there is no putting them back in there.

But now, here is the real question ...

When you say these things ...

When you feel these things ...

Where are they coming from, where is that place of ugliness hiding in you and why oh why! Do you you even think such things to begin with.

So after I had a situation yesterday where I did just that, I am deeply reflecting on how to fix this. I do know this, next time I will hold my mouth, keep quiet and choose my words more wisely.

#reflection #life #love

TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF♡

You really have to put yourself 1st, we fulfill so many roles on any given day constantly having to do more, be more and every now and again you need to take time out, sit back and reflect. Refuel what you need to make a better you ...

No one is responsible for your feelings, emotions or well being except for you. We get so caught up in life we forget this, but Alhamdulillah it is us who can empower ourselves, who can take back a little more and build ourselves up.

It's a wonderful thing being a strong and composed human, but every now and again even the strong need time away to regain their strength.

Got me thinking and got me to clean up my social media accounts. #feelinglighter There's a lighter feeling when you get of the negativity that you sometimes don't even know is eating away at you. Too many unrealistic expectations and lives lived beyond the means of many people. A constant competition of who has more and who does more.

Go on

Be you

Be true

Live your life

♡♡♡