aspec antagonism

on hiatus for mental health. aspec or not, feel free to talk about your experiences with amisia. see pinned post for more info.

[aspec-antagonism]

intro post

i made this blog to shed light on aspec hate, amatonormativity, and allonormativity, and how common it is. i myself am a green stripe non-SAM aromantic and acespec(?) along with other tertiary attractions. this blog was inspired by @this-is-exorsexism and @exorsexistbullshit. likewise with other blogs, people can send in an ask to tell me about aspec discrimination they've faced, and i'll post it. i may chip in with a comment if i feel its important. vents and rants are welcome. what is aspec antagonism? aspec antagonism is discrimination towards individuals on the aspec. aspec is typically used to refer to aromantic and asexual people, but i also use it to refer to discrimination towards people under the atertiary umbrella, which includes, but is not limited to: aplatonic, anaesthetic, afamilial, nonalterous, and asensual people. does my submission count? yes. submit it. if you have doubts, submit it anyway and i'll be the judge. your experiences deserve to be heard, and this kind of hate comes in many different shapes. obviously, trans and other queer people are welcome here. this includes xenogenders and neopronoun users. i tag my posts with aphobia in case some people have aphobia blacklisted, but i wont use the term in my discussions due to the word's ableist connotations. feel free to correct me if i get anything wrong. mods actual pronouns will be hidden for privacy, so please use they/them instead.

[thisis-aphobia]

Happy normal Saturday to any aspecs (or allos) who don't care for love and affection and all that. But I do hope you get to eat some little chocolates those are always good. (Unless you're allergic, then I hope a little treat equally as good comes your way.)

And to anyone in a relationship of any kind, experiencing any form of love and attraction, happy valentine's day and I also hope you get to eat some chocolates or any other sweet treat.

Yall can take a piece.

[aspec-antagonism]

still not feeling too good mental-health wise, but i just wanted to say happy valentine's day to anyone who celebrates it and happy saturday to anyone who doesn't! i know valentine's day can be an amatonormative nightmare for us on the aspec, so it's completely understandable if you don't enjoy it. whether you're aromantic, asexual, aplatonic, afamilial, or anything else, don't feel pressured by allos to engage in any relationship or activities you don't want to. i hope everyone enjoys their day regardless.

[thisis-aphobia]

The anti-Blackness in asexual spaces post probably won't be out until after Black History Month is over (unless I go petal to the metal on it), so I'm just going to say now,

Happy Black History Month to all Black folks! You all deserve the world and everything else there is out there. In a world that constantly ignores your pain and voices, where you have had to fight to make space, I hope all goes well for you this month, and for all months to come.

[the-aro-agenda]

Man, maybe i am tripping but i realized how much polyphobia AND acephobia/arophobia are related. What do you mean you love no one/multiple person? What do you mean you did not chose one person to be your one top priority for the rest of your life? What do you mean society should not priviliege my life style of monogamy with tax benefits? What do you mean i should allow poly/single people to adopt?

The structure of the nuclear family (wich is a method of control of capitalism and patriachy) is defied by both "extremes" of having no partner (acearo) or having multiple ones (poly) or even people whi participate in both like queerplatonic poly relantionship.

you're not tripping anon this has been a talking point in both aro and poly spaces for a while now. the same forces that oppress aro people for not wanting to get married oppress poly people for wanting to marry (or really, even just be with) multiple people

[i-suggest-becoming-transmasc]

“This will end just like aphobia” I cannot stress to you enough that aphobia never stopped, it just stopped being the popular queer option(TM) and is now relegated to "background noise that we can ignore" by the general queer community

[thisis-aphobia]

Aphobia never ended. That is why I am here.

[aspec-antagonism]

sorry for my inactivity, depression has been kicking my ass. i'll come back whenever possible.

[knifearo]

one thing that does often actually genuinely break my heart about aromanticism is that it opens so many ontological pathways to methodologies that would unilaterally improve people's lives but most people can't even be bothered to learn about aromanticism much less apply those lessons to themselves

[aromanticofficial]

I always choose the example that if we dismantle amatonormativity, single people will be better able to focus their energy on working or living, making quality of life better overall. but I guess most people never get past "it would suck never to fall in love"

[aspec-antagonism]

oh my golly, haha. mod of this-is-aphobia! i know I'd SAID i'd come back mid febuarary, but it turns out it only takes one panic attack to delete your entire account...ah. im truly truly sorry but i think for my own mind space i should probably step away for good, haha. i hope both you and thisis-aphobia's(?) mods do well!! good luck and have a wonderful rest of your month!!

no need to apologize. sad to see you go but of course, prioritize your mental health. thank you for your service and i hope you feel better o7

[tertiary-attraction-culture]

Tertiary attraction blogs!

[PT: Tertiary attraction blogs! /end PT]

Mentioning a bunch of tertiary attraction themed blogs so that other spaces are highlighted. Let Me know if you want to be added or removed from the list! I tried to find blogs that were active within this year, or later into last year.

Bigotry related: @aspec-antagonism @this-is-amato-heteronormativity @this-is-aphobia

Culture blogs: @asocialcultureis @aspec-culture @queerplatonic-culture-is @questioning-aspec-culture-is @senseattractionculture @tertiaryspec-culture

Experience blogs: @our-afamspec-experience @our-alterous-experience @our-aplatonic-experience @our-asensual-experience @our-loveless-experiences @our-queerplatonic-experience

General blogs: @alterous @anattractional-safe-space @aplatonic-stuff @aplatonicism @aroapl @basil-being-afamilial

Head/canon blogs: @aspeccharactersoftheday @your-fav-is-a-spec

Positivity blogs: @ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity @aplatonicxyz

Suggestion blogs: @be-in-a-qpr-with @i-suggest-aplatonic @isuggestaplatonicism

Honourable mentions...

[PT: Honourable mentions... /end PT]

For blogs that aren't solely centred on tertiary attraction, but have something related to it that makes them worth a look!

@aego-culture-is @aegosexual-moments @aro-ace-culture-is @aro-culture-is @aroace-people-are-lgtbq @aroacesafeplaceforall @i-suggest-aro @our-aro-experience @our-arospec-experience @positive-aro-ace-space @the-aro-agenda @yourfaveisfriendshaped @yourfavessexualityshouldvebeen

[aspec-antagonism]

Everyone pretends to understand and respect consent, until someone is aspec... Then it's "you just haven't found the right one yet" or "I'll make you like it" after we told them 'No'.

this is aspec antagonism.

[aspec-antagonism]

i got told i cant be aspec because im not a virgin???

i had sex and have been in relationships before, and at the time they were great. but later i started feeling repulsed by the idea of being sexual or romantic w someone else and i started identifying as orchidrose. clearly people can change so idk how my past experiences erase my aspecness :/

this is aspec antagonism. first its "how do you know you're aspec if you've never had specific relations?" then it's "you can't be aspec, you've had these certain relations!". sounds like amisics simply don't want people to be on the aspec.

[this-is-amato-heteronormativity]

Amatonormativity and aphobia is the choking fear I've had for most of my life that if I ever *did* """fall in love""" and get married every person who's ever said "oh you just haven't met the right person yet" would feel justified in believing that aspec identities ""don't exist""

This is romance-normativity and arophobia.

Even if you had fallen in love, it wouldn't have delegitimatized your arospec identity, because not all aromatics are bold stripe aromantic, aqueerplatonic & analterous, and non-partnering.

[this-is-anti-objectum]

Please stay safe everyone

Roadkill seems to specifically put images of surgery/procedures on genitals when reblogging intersex posts, in attempts to get a reaction, report them, don't give them any attention.

[thisis-aphobia]

im aroace, sex repulsed but not romance repulsed, and there's this one ship that means a lot to me and i draw all the time. today i showed a drawing i made of them hugging to my dad, and he tried to be funny by asking "when are you going to draw them having sex?". i told him i would never and that it's literally impossible (the characters are literally objects with limbs from a cartoon) and he proceeded to describe "how he thinks it'd work". i covered my ears because i genuinely didnt want to hear that and he just laughed. he knows i'm asexual and very grossed out by this but he still thinks its an apropriate joke to make, but i decided to bring up asexuality in case he forgot. thing is, he just doesn't believe it's a thing. he isn't a close minded bigot about it or anything, he listens to me and respects me having a different opinion, but he still doesn't respect my boundaries. i'm old enough for it to not be weird to joke about things like that but it's still so gross to me that this is seen as normal in any capacity in the first place. this makes me feel like shit because this ship is very important to me and the idea of them in a sexual context is extremely disturbing and upsetting. i just feel like i cant do anything without having sex shoved in my face even though it makes me sick to my stomach.

This is aphobia and. Fuckin weird.

I'll disect the "asexual isn't a thing" statement momentarily but for now I just wanna say. If anyone is having that adverse of a reaction to you (general you) explaining sex or literally anything, that is a clear as day sign to stop. And your own child as well?? What??? And it doesn't matter if you are old enough for it to not be considered weird, your boundaries shouldn't be cross by anyone, ever.

Asexuality is, say it with me kids, a real thing. Just like the sky. It's how nature works sometimes.

[radiomogai]

Check the newest version of this post before you reblog.

[PT: Check the newest version of this post before you reblog. End PT]

TL;DR: there is someone going around sending severe gore to the MOGAI, intersex, and adjacent communities, and they have been spreading to others. Do not view their posts. This post will serve as a complete list of URLs to block: it will be updated as information comes in.

Blogs:

nimblyquantumblizzard

intrepidwondercrusader

rawstratagemshrine

hhhhhh19-00 Gone

fatallypurplesummoner

If you are on desktop, you can block without viewing the blogs by going to blog settings and scrolling down. If you are on mobile, @butchadhd has provided instructions to report without viewing the content here (link). On both mobile and desktop, going to your account settings and adding a URL to the filtered post section will filter all posts from that user (courtesy of @okapifoxhorse).

There is heavy suspicion that the user sending all of this is someone known as Roadkill; the blog @antiroadkill has been documenting and following their antics. This user has a history of impersonation and of trying to tear communities apart through false, horrific accusations, intended to cause in-fighting. As of writing, these accusations have not been employed, but stay aware and watch out for them.

Stay safe, take care of each other. We'll bunker down and weather the storm but we'll all come out alright.

[this-is-anti-objectum]

PSA

block these users, will update as @\radiomogai does

ALSO ANY FLAG COINERS THAT FOLLOW ME, DO NOT CHECK REBLOGS FROM ACCOUNTS WITHOUT PROFILE PICTURES WHILE ROADKILL DOES THIS

@this-is-alterhumisia, @aspec-antagonism, @this-is-kinmisia, @this-is-antixeninity, @this-is-pluralphobia

they cross tag multiple communities, please i urge you to spread the word - I can remove @ upon ask

[aspec-antagonism]

good god. thank you for the mention. @thisis-aphobia (i can remove the mention if you want)

[aspec-antagonism]

When I told my therapist I was aroace she said I was "too young to know" (I'm 19 btw), that I shouldn't put myself in a box, that being in a romantic relationship would make my mental health better and make me more confident, basically implying being in a romantic relationship is the only was to live, and that it was "surprising" that I liked hugging my friends a lot because I'm aromantic. I'm already struggling with internalized arophobia and instead of therapy helping it's made everything worse.

this is aspec antagonism. and a clear example of amatonormativity. if possible, anon, find a new therapist. if they're going to violate your boundaries like this and force romance onto you, its not worth the trouble.