#aplatonicism

[equalperson]

it's always sad when I see people with psychological disabilities (most often PDs) say things like "i don't feel attraction but i'm trying to" or "i can't love, how do i fix this?"

genuinely, if you don't feel attraction (of any sort! not just sexual), consider that you're A-spec!! being traumatized does not mean you cannot be A-spec, just like it doesn't mean you can't be gay or trans!

the idea that you need to "fix" your attraction to be "mentally healthy" is an anti-LGBT myth, although one that's unfortunately still common in regards to A-spec folks.

and even if you are actually allosexual/-romantic/-platonic and you'll (re)develop attraction as you recover, there is literally no good in forcing yourself to feel it; forcing intimacy is unhealthy, encourages self-loathing when you inevitably don't enjoy it, and leaves you incredibly vulnerable to abuse.

if you're going to feel attraction one day, it'll happen without pressure. if you're not going to experience attraction, no amount of pressure will make it happen. A-spec or not, you've gotta let yourself be in this regard.

[your-local-fluie]

Before Pride month ends, I wanna give a special thanks to aplatonic people.

Aplatonic activism and instances changed me and affect me positively to an enormous degree, as an alloplatonic neurodivergent and mentally ill aroace.

They empowered me to enjoy my own company, knowing I don't need friends either to be happy; I can be content with myself. They made me see the value in loneliness. Considering socializing drains me fast, so I tend to stay alone in my room a lot, this is very relevant to me.

They made me look inward, noticing my internal narration is actually possibly the best company I could ask for 90% of the time (when depression doesn't turn it into literal hell). No other person on the planet would understand me better than myself. Nobody shares 100% of my values. No one person shares all of my interests. When I have a healthy dose of self-confidence, I actually laugh at my own wittiness and think that no single friend's humour caters to my taste nearly as well. It would feel frustrating and self-absorbed if aplatonism existing didn't make me realize it's okay to not place friends above yourself.

They taught me to be independent. That's still a work in progress but if I hadn't learned about aplatonism, I'd probably obsess over my best friends way worse than I already do.

It also taught me another level of consent. I have yet to meet an aplatonic person irl (at least as far as I know), but the idea that even placing a label like "friend" on someone without consent could be wrong makes me feel both safer myself (I've gotten a taste of it when my ex QPP broke up with me and asked if we could still be best friends. Wtf we were never best friends dude, just friends, that felt almost dirty), and probably makes people around me feel safer too. Since I'm friendship favourable it actually makes me experience my friendships more respectfully and thoughtfully so they come out healthier.

I don't mean to make it all about myself here—aplatonic people already get the shortest end of the stick when it comes to a-spec visibility and general attitudes towards them, so it's not in such good taste to bring the focus on me and my alloplatonism—but maybe some other alloplatonic people can come across this and be inspired to deconstruct their own platonormativity.

Aplatonic advocacy helps literally everyone I swear. Aro advocacy falls short in some places by too often shifting the focus on platonic bonds as a "replacement" for the "missing" romance. Understanding aplatonism directly contributed to actually *fully* deconstructing amatonormativity without just recycling the same rhetoric.

I've already posted a similar appreciation post about loveless people so I'm not gonna repeat it this year but yeah, shout out to loveless folks as well, y'all rock.

[aro-ace-culture-is]

Aplatonic aroace culture is making EVERY character you get your hands on aroace and they are all single and they're happy

.

[aro-ace-chaos]

Introducing: The Aspec Glossary!

*Note: Please make sure to check the original post for the latest version before reblogging. This post will be updated frquently!*

There are a lot of aspec terms, some more common than others. With this series, I'm hoping to spotlight a bunch of different aspec identities, terms, etc.

If you have any suggestions for terms to post about, you can comment on or reblog this post, or send in an ask or dm!

A lot of these topics will be aro/ace centered, but I'm happy to shine some light on anything on the aspec, including afamilial, aplatonic, asensual, atertiary, aqueerplatonic, etc. Just know that I will have less to say personally about things that don't apply to me, and I will be more heavily relying on the words of others in those cases.

Note: when a term is a modifier than can apply to multiple things (eg. repulsed, aego, demi, etc.), I typically default to using sex/sexuality/asexuality as the example (eg sex-repulsed, aegosexual, demisexual), because those are more clear-cut for me to define. Determining if an action is sexual is easier for me than determining if an action is romantic or platonic or anything else, and sometimes I just need an example. There's not really a deeper meaning to it.

Navigation links

Terms

Microlabels

A-Spectrums

Further reading

AUREA (Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy)

Aplatonic Information

LGBTQIA+ Mirahaze Wiki - link to the aspec category directly

LGBTQIA+ Fandom Wiki - link to the aspec category directly

Orientation Fandom Wiki - link to the aspec category directly

[aspec-antagonism]

i remember mentioning tertiary attractions to my friends. they asked what they were, so i explained it the best i could. im happy to explain this stuff. aspec labels are pretty niche, so i like spreading awareness. i was met with insults from my own friends for trying to explain lesser-known queer terms to them. they're all allo if that wasn't obvious. that's aspec antagonism. folks, tertiary attractions aren't dumb. even if you don't get it, you don't have to be an ass. by dismissing tertiary attractions, you are actively dismissing the experiences of aspec folks and you're minimizing the importance of other attractions, which is both reinforcing relationship hierarchies and plain amisic. some allos may not realize that there's more beyond romantic and sexual attraction, but that does not mean that those experiences are insignificant.

[professional-water-drinker]

As a matter of fact, i am aplatonic BECAUSE i am autistic. and i dont gaf if you think im valid or not.

[theexhaustedqueer]

Guys, there’s a really obvious enemy here and— Oh! What a surprise!

It isn’t each other.

[sweetpea67]

Okay I’m glad we on Tumblr have started to understand that loveless aros exist. But do you understand that not all aplatonic people are loveless? That you can be aplatonic and alloromantic, aplatonic and allosexual, aplatonic and both? Do you understand that aplatonicism isn’t a subset of aromanticism any more than aromanticism is a subset of asexuality?