This is Aphobia

inbox closed while i catch up 🫣

[thisis-aphobia]

End aphobia, now!

Hello tumblr, call me JJ.

I am JJ, I go by he/it pronouns and I am bi/greyaromantic and asexual.

My gender is an amalgous, vaguely masculine shaped blob. My femininity is still very important to me even though I am more masc than femme.

So let's get 1 thing straight and two things queer

Everyone is welcome here! Except zionists, rascists, radfems, any form of xenophobia, any form of queerphobia, and all around bigotry. Go spew your hate in your echo chamber and leave me out of it.

This blog is anti censorship! Ace-spec individuals are not to blame for the sex negative environment the world is taking on at the moment.

"I have obscure and confusing mircolabels and identities, am I allowed here?"

Of course you are, my dear! Don't tether yourself down to societal expections of an "acceptable" queer identity. A thousand obscure xenogenders, plurals, therians, aplatonics, you all are more than welcome here!

Post Frequency

Please be patient with me! I am very on and off when it comes to replying, especially because I take time to add my own thoughts to each submission. I will he sure to get to each of you, even if it takes a while ^^

Asks in inbox: 52

Asks in queue: queue empty

Claimed signoffs

[thisis-aphobia]

I don't have a pride post planned but I was recently made aware of the new ace flag and wowie I really like it!

This flag was created by Ashabi, a queer Nigerian-American artist (she/they)!

I love how it explicitly includes the ace mircolabels, and how it highlights multiculturalism and intersectionality. While I do like the look of the old flag, it was odd that it highlighted allies and only represented 2 ace mircrolabels.

Plus, it's quite a nice color scheme! Reminds me of huckleberry lemonade.

[thisis-aphobia]

i sometimes wonder if my life would be easier if i felt the same type of love as my partner....i do love him....but it's different....i so often feel broken...like something is missing...

i always fight for my ace friends. i always make sure they're being respected. but i can't seem to give myself similar treatment for my aromanticism....maybe it'd be easier if i was more romance repulsed...since i wouldn't have to deal with "i love you deeply and care about you and we're married but also my emotions for you are p much the same as they are for all my closest friends"

im always stuck wondering if i love my partner enough....

This is internalized aphobia.

There's many different kinds of love and appreciation that you can feel for your partner, romantic love doesn't need to be the focus. Heck, you don't even need to feel that love. Many aspec folks have their own definitions of love and what that can look like in a relationship. If your partner is a good and supportive person, I'm sure he'll understand.

But, I want you to know that you aren't broken because of this. Some of us are just wired a bit differently, and I know that it can feel very hopeless and isolating in this world where relationships and romantic love is tied into everything. So for you, at the end of the day, do you feel happy with your partner? Does he feel happy with you? Are you open and honest about your feelings? If you can answer yes to those, I say you're doing alright.

I don't have any magical phrases to wish away what you're feeling now, only you can do that, but I hope I can offer some insight.

[thisis-aphobia]

I need help

I am very frequently overwhelmed by an influx of asks, and would like the help of a second or even third moderator. If you are interested, please fill out this form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd9CGipr9PILHg2sCiCM_4SXiWQ5f6lya7WxKmjk6g22QNkHQ/viewform?usp=header

More information will be in the form's description, but please know that I don't expect you to be working a 9 to 5 free for this account. Put in as much or as little effort as often or seldom as you choose, all up to you and your activity/spoons level.

The only requirement is that you are over 18 or a legal adult in your country/region.

Form closes on June 4th, 5 PM Mountain Daylight Time. What time is that for me?

[canvicantsleep]

Are you Aroace/do you like beefaroni?

Yes to both

Aroace and dislike beefaroni

Not Aroace and like beefaroni

No to both

Voting ended onJun 1

[this-is-afamphobia]

Welcome to @this-is-afamphobia, a blog where we look at things and say "That's afamphobia!"

A little bit about me: my main blog is @privygrid, I am demifamilial, aroace and agender, and I am of legally adult age (thats the closest im getting to revealing my age on here). I go by she/they, and am not a big fan of gendered terms, so please try to avoid using those for me. I am also a university student with a ton of assignments, so apologies if I miss any submissions.

What's afamphobia? Afamphobia is discrimination towards afamilial individuals. What is afamilial? A person who is afamilial/afamspec is someone who experiences little to no familial attraction/love.

Please make sure your submissions are polite and worded clearly. If you wish to make any changes to your submission, you can send a message to @privygrid about it.

Inspired by other this-is blogs, mainly @this-is-arophobia, @this-is-aplphobia, and @this-is-ableism.

[this-is-anthromisia]

Welcome, furry folk and friends alike!

As the title implies, this is a blog dedicated to identifying, highlighting and validating experiences of hatred and bigotry towards the furry community and individuals. Inspired by the likes of @this-is-ableism @thisis-intersexism @this-is-fatphobia @thisis-aphobia @this-is-ageism @this-is-amato-heteronormativity and similar blogs.

I'd rather keep my identity secret, just know I use he/him pronouns, and can probably be referred to as simply "mod" if ever necessary.

For clarification, anyone is welcome here. Obviously anyone that sends hate or expresses open bigotry will be promptly blocked, but submissions are not restricted to exclusively furries, if a non-furry has witnessed or directly encountered a form of furry hate, submissions are very much welcome.

I do not discriminate. If you're worried I will think negatively of you due to any aspect of your identity, be it sexuality, gender identity, religious beliefs, or otherwise, ignore those thoughts. I won't.

This blog is run by a sex-repulsed individual. You may bring up topics of sexuality and possibly kink, but keep details to a minimum whenever possible, I'd really rather not hear them.

Also remember, I am not infallible, I will make mistakes. All I ask is that this is understood, respected and approached in a reasonable manner.

Note: I am boycotting YouTube so I won't be viewing any YouTube links I might be sent. Apologies in advance.

Tagging to boost:

(list referencing post by @this-is-anti-masculinity , any blogs I may have missed are done purely by mistake)

@this-is-antitransfemininity @this-is-transandrophobia @this-is-exorsexism @this-is-antixeninity @this-is-multigenderphobia @this-is-internoirism @this-is-varsexism-transphobia @this-is-lesbiphobia @this-is-anti-objectum @thisis-aphobia @thisisracism @this-is-indigemisia @thisisantisemitism @this-is-xenophobia @this-is-linguicism @this-is-fatphobia @this-is-deformimisia @this-is-audism @this-is-anti-idd @this-is-saneism @this-is-cluster-b-saneism @thisisparamisia @this-is-pluralphobia @thisisfictomisia @this-is-kinmisia @this-is-alterhumisia @this-is-anti-homeless @this-is-classism @this-is-ageism @this-is-parental-abuse

[this-is-anti-femininity]

Other blogs like this one

pt: other blogs like this one

@this-is-transandrophobia - focuses on the specific subset of transphobia that is targeted towards trans masculine people

@this-is-transgynephobia - focuses on the specific subset of transphobia that is targeted towards trans feminine people

@thisisexorsexism - focuses on the discrimination against non-binary people

@this-is-transphobia - focuses on the discrimination against trans people

@thisis-aphobia - focuses on the discrimination against aspec people

@thisisracism - focuses on the discrimination against BIPOC

@thisishomophobia - focuses on the discrimination against queer people

@this-is-lesbiphobia - focuses on the discrimination against lesbians

@thisis-biphobia - focuses on the discrimination against bi people

@thisisantisemitism - focuses on the discrimination against jewish people

@this-is-anti-masculinity - focuses on the discrimination against marginalized men and overall negativity about masculinity itself

@thisis--ableism - focuses on the discrimination against disabled people

@this-is-saneism - focuses on the discrimination against people with mental disorders

@this-is-audism - focuses on the discrimination against d/Deaf and HoH people, as well as people with auditory processing disorders

let me know if any of you want to be removed from/added to the list, as well as any changes you want to the description next to your blog name! I am always open to suggestions

[thisis-aphobia]

Anti-Blackness in aspec spaces is the fact that I have found so little articles or anything related to this topic, it's either aspec exclusion from queer spaces or Black exclusion from queer spaces. I need them together. The latter is better but I need them together and no one is talking about it.

[thisis-aphobia]

I wasn’t looking hard enough apparently, there's tons of videos and articles on this topic! So ready to start reading and learning!

[this-is-afamphobia]

when society expects you to "love" your family because "they're still your family" and shame you if you express any kind of distaste for them (especially in certain cultures that are family-centric like mine, wherein most children are expected to support their parents even if they've been shitty)

this is afamphobia.

[texasteaparty]

I'm a huge advocate for Asexuality and all of it's wonderous spectrum, so here's a bit of a reminder:

You can be sex positive and still be ace.

You can be sex repulsed and still be ace.

You can masterbate and still be ace.

You can be in a relationship (short term, long term, poly, etc) and still be ace.

There is all these stigmas around asexuality, and how you can't be sexually active, or can't be in a relationship, or hell, can't even give yourself some pleasure. Ace's don't have the same level of sexual attraction as Allosexuals, doesn't mean we're broken or imbalanced, just different.

"Oh, but maybe you're just not having the right sex!"

*buzzer noise* Incorrect.

"Well, then, you were probably molested and/or sexually assaulted, right?"

Possibly, but that's of no business to you. People who have been abused in any capacity have their own ways of dealing with the aftermath.

Asexuality is such a broad, beautiful array of feelings, emotions, comfortability, and self awareness.

🖤🩶🤍💜

[thisis-aphobia]

For context I'm agender, aplatonic, demiromantic, and allosexual

This is both internalized and external (mostly internalized I'd say) but I feel kinda out of place in aspec communities. The demiromantic part is the major problem cuz I've been asked "why even identify as aroallo if the aro part completely goes away once you're in a relationship?" I've definitely let that question settle in too much and now kinda push myself out of aro spaces cuz I'm not bold stripe even tho I obviously don't think this about others who aren't. Also I mean I guess people who say that to me arent exactly wrong, once I'm in a relationship I suppose my aromanticism would be obsolete?

Other minor things would be like being told I'm not agender cuz I'm medically transitioning as much as I possibly can and will turn my ID and passport to say male. Being told it's stupid and/or not possible to be aplatonic and demiromantic. The common "demiromantic? You mean how everyone is?". People conflating aro and ace and what have you

I understand that my aspec identities are a bit complex I suppose and my feelings of being left out are of my own doing but it sucks sometimes. I don't wanna repost aroallo or demiro stuff in fear of coming off as derailing or talking over by going "oh me too but actually not cuz I'm not consistently aro and I'm not ace at all" I have a hard time telling if I'd be talking over more marginalized people. I don't know I just don't want to take up space I'm not allowed

This is aphobia.

You are absolutely welcome in aro spaces and anyone telling you that you are not is a liar.

Does the bisexuality or pansexuality of someone go away when they date someone of 1 gender? No!

The same idea applies to aro micro labels as well. You are still demiromantic when you are in a romantic relationship. I am in a romantic relationship and I will always be a part of the aro community, and I will always fight for those like you to be here as well.

[thisis-aphobia]

as a trans man on the aromantic spectrum, i keep telling my mom i don't want to marry whenever she brings up the (unfortunately dysphoria-inducing) discussion of how i'm "pretty" and how i have "good genes", but she always dismisses that me being aro is just a phase (when in fact it's the truest i've ever felt as myself) and that i should stop turning down "suitors" (people who have made me severely uncomfortable and have almost assaulted me in some cases) because it's an unlikable/unladylike trait according to her.

i have a really bad feeling i'm gonna end up disappointing my family as an adult when it becomes apparent that i've been trying so hard to stay single, the way i want it. i don't want to become a cautionary tale told by my mom to my little brother.

This is aphobia.

There shouldn't be so much pressure on anyone to marry, and someone not wanting to do that shouldn't be swayed into making that decision. Even if you later change your mind, your feelungs on it should be taken seriously and respected.

[thisis-aphobia]

i do not get it, why do they care so, so much??? in what way does it even affect you if im aroace?? (or any other aspec label), no like literally, why do THEY care that WE'RE not dating anyone😭 it makes no sense.

or people who call it a mental disorder thats NOT how a disorder works or how its defined.

It's weird that some folks care so much about anything someone does differently from them. Mind your business it shouldn't be a personal attack on you whether or not I have a relationship. There's worse things others do that you should actually judge, such as causing harm to others, before you pitch a fit about any identity.

[thisis-aphobia]

aphobia, specifically aplaphobia, is people not believeing im aspec cuz im aplatonic but not asexual or aromantic

i rarely feel a desire for friendships or platonic relationships in general, meanwhile i am quite passionate about romance and sex. but what i see in aspec community? "stop erasing asexual and aromantic folks", no mention of other anattractional folks. and if you do mention aplatonic or other anattractional folks they get mad and yell "those arent real aspecs! aspec is only about not wanting sex or romance! you arent aspec for being an aplatonic freak who is obsessed with romance and sex!" well yeah sorry. i dont care if you dont feel romantic or sexual attraction but denying my aspec identity just because i feel those is kinda shitty i think. i am aplatonic. im still aspec. but apparently i am not cuz being aspec is only about not feeling romantic or sexual attraction and any other variant is not really aspec /s

This is aplaphobia.

//Please forgive my lack of an in-depth paragraph, it will be added sometime in the future.

[thisis-aphobia]

aphobia is believing asexual people can't have sex 😮‍💨

This is a classic example of aphobia.

Sexual attraction does not equal sex drive or libido! Everyone learn this now!!!

[thisis-aphobia]

Because singapore is small, there is limited amount of housing for people. To control the amount of people getting houses, they make the application process for housing heavily skewed towards married couples. If you are single, it is basically impossible to own a house.

This is aphobia.

This reminds me of people saying stuff like "You're not oppressed for staying single". While oppressed is a weird word for it, you are definitely barred from reaching certain amenities (and in some countries you pay higher taxes for being single!).