she's the calm before the storm

the fire that keeps you warm.

[aspenstevensen]

mayflorence‌:

florence  hummed, surprised  by  what  aspen  had  to  say.  she  silently admitted  that  she  had  been  noticing  the  tension  between them  knowing  very  well  it  wasn’t  negative. so  she  figured she  should  have  seen  it  coming,  though she  didn’t.  florence wasn’t  very  confident in  herself.  she’d  had  relationships,  but  nothing  of  any  real  significance  -  after  all,  it  wasn’t easy  to  find  love  in  her  small  virginian  town,  growing  up  in  an  orchard.  she  grasped  aspen’s hand  again,  not  wanting  her  to  pull  away.  she  didn’t  want  her  to  feel  unwanted or  pushed  away.   ❝  you  like  me?  like… like  like  me?  you  want  to  take  me  on  a  date?  like,  a  date  date?  ❞  she  asked,  her  tone  excited but  confused  all  at  the  same  time,  ❝  are  you  sure?  i  mean… i  didn’t  think  i’d  be  your  type… gosh,  i’m  sorry  -  don’t  think  this  is  me  saying  no,  i  would  love  to.  go  on  a  date  with  you,  i  mean.  if  you  really  mean  what  you  say. ❞

honestly, the thought of florence turning her down had aspen’s stomach absolutely churning. she was terrified to be so forthright about what she wanted because she wasn’t used to this, and she was just starting to panic when the other woman took her hand again, grounding her in place. her gaze flashed across hers, the question making her smile, and though she was still nervous, this seemed like a good sign. ❝ i really like you. ❞  she clarified before beaming in response to florence’s assurance that she’d love to go on a date with her. her stomach was no longer hurting, like a weight had been lifted. now it felt funny, like butterflies, her heart beating faster as she realized what this meant. ❝ i don’t say things i don’t mean, ❞ she promised with a squeeze of her hand, locking their fingers together as she stepped forward confidently. ❝ i’m... gonna kiss you now, okay? ❞ aspen’s cheeks were flushed and her free hand moved to rest on florence’s cheek before she leaned in to bring her lips tentatively to hers. it was a slow, sweet kiss, not overly passionate, but soft and comforting. when she broke the kiss, she didn’t pull away, searching florence’s eyes to see how she felt about it. ❝ i thought if i did it now, i’d be less nervous on our date... ❞  she explained, visibly flustered. the kiss had only solidified the fact that she liked her and while she was still anxious, she was also excited. ❝ was that okay? ❞ 

[cinemafannotes]

[aspenstevensen]

charliexcoleman‌:

Charlie could sense that she probably should have chosen her words more carefully, but she did only mean well. She followed Aspen’s gaze with a grimace, contemplating her next move. “Sorry– I didn’t realize,” she admitted, as innocently as she could. “But I still don’t think you need to stress about it as much as you are. Just– rip it off like a band-aid, you know? Get it over with. Because I feel like, if I’ve learned anything about you by now, you’ll just keep questioning your every move if you don’t make your intentions clear. If she says yes, which I don’t see why she wouldn’t because you’re awesome, then great. If not, then it’s her loss and you move on. I know it’s tough, but I can promise you it’ll be much better than just playing a guessing game.”

“It’s okay. You’re right, and I appreciate your honesty.” Aspen assured her with a wan smile. She let out a nervous laugh and glanced down, chewing on her bottom lip. As scary as it was, she knew Charlie was right and that she probably had much more recent dating experience than she did. After a moment of stewing in her silence, the lavender haired musician declared, “Next time I see her, I’ll ask her out. And if I don’t die of embarrassment after, I’ll tell you how it goes.” She smiled a genuine smile this time and put her hand on the blonde’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Thank you. You’re a good friend,” she murmured before withdrawing her touch.

[aspenstevensen]

thatdrummerjasey‌:

“That sounds like something I could end up doing, but no it’s just plain old daydreaming for me.” She replied softly. “Yeah that does sound like it sucks a boatload.”

“It’s okay, I’m used to it,” she assured the girl with the gentlest of smiles. “How are you liking the tour so far?” The musician asked curiously. Aspen leaned over, looking at Jasey with interest to hear how the tour was going for her.

[aspenstevensen]

mayflorence‌:

@aspenstevensen​ ||  “It all comes down to you.”

florence  gave  the  lavender  haired girl  a  smile, a  little  taken  aback  by  what  she’d  said.  the  dark  haired woman  placed  a  hand  on  aspen’s  shoulder, squeezing  gently  but  reassuringly.  ❝  what  ever  do  you  mean,  little  love?  ❞  she  asked  her.  she’d  had  a  few  drinks but  she  was  nowhere  near  drunk  enough to  misunderstand  her.  ❝  you  can’t  come  to  me  speaking all  cryptic  and  poetic,  i’m  a  simple girl  who  went  from  picking peaches  for  a  living  to  this.  ❞

to say that she was nervous would be an understatement. aspen had come to see florence for one specific purpose, but she’d blurted out song lyrics instead of a normal phrase. her heart melted as the beautiful woman used the affectionate term, and the touch at her shoulder didn’t help matters. meeting her gaze, she smiled softly. ❝ sorry. it’s - fleetwood mac. song lyrics. when words fail, music speaks, ❞ she explained sheepishly, her anxieties on display in full force. she just hoped that florence found it more endearing than weird. ❝ what it means is that...well, you mean a lot to me, and i know we just met, so that might be a strange thing to say. but someone told me i should be honest and forthright with what i’m feeling.  ❞ taking a breath, she reached down to grab florence’s other hand and her thumb rubbed along the top of her hand.  ❝  i like you. i’d really like to take you out on, like...a date. if you were interested in doing that, i mean. if you aren’t, it’s okay. ❞ she withdrew her touch then, not wanting to seem overly eager or too touchy feely, though she wanted nothing more than to hold the other woman’s hand. if this was all in her head, if these feelings weren’t reciprocated, she told herself she could handle it. she had friends here, and it was better to be honest than keep wondering.

[aspenstevensen]

charliexcoleman‌:

While it was left unsaid, the blonde was relieved to stray the conversation away from her personal life. “Aspen, oh my god. Why are you asking me these things like you’re thirty-something and have never been on a date before?” Charlie teased, chuckling and nudging the woman with her foot under the table. The older woman was endearing, sure, but Charlie was hoping to give her a gentle shove in the right direction. “You’re both grown women. Just tell her you want to take her on a date. I know being upfront like that is kind of intimidating, but it’ll also keep you guys from having a really uncomfortable conversation later on. Like, nobody wants to go on a date and question whether or not it’s a date all night.”

Aspen knew that Charlie was right, but hearing her say it was embarrassing and made her feel ashamed. She was acting like some kind of teenager, hyper-fixated on what could or couldn’t happen. She knew it was because of how horribly awry her last relationship had gone, and how rare it was for her to have that special kind of chemistry with someone. When she liked someone, it was only inevitable that she would do or say something stupid. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s...been a few years,” she winced as her gaze drifted down to the floor. She was sure that Charlie wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings, but hearing it aloud just solidified how pathetic she had already been feeling. “It’s very intimidating. I’ve never been confident like that. But you’re probably right. If I’m up front about it, and she says no, at least I know she’s not interested.”

[aspenstevensen]

thatdrummerjasey‌:

“I muse warn you though, I do get sea sick.” She chuckled. “I kid, just had to say that.Exactly I mean if you can space out for a while and distract yourself that way, it’s great!” 

“Ha.” Aspen laughed, shaking her head as she agreed with the drummer’s perspective. “Or you can be like me and think so much that you space out. I have a tendency to get hyper focused on something that is bothering me and I can’t think of anything else. Anxiety, I guess, but it sucks.”

[aspenstevensen]

finndaley‌:

“You could think of it like, uh. Like I’m just, a kid, if that makes you feel better.” Finn replied with a slightly awkward laugh. He didn’t feel like a kid (especially not when some of the musicians on tour were, what, like, nineteen? Eighteen?), but he knew that he would be the one not getting references in at least a few years. “Nah, it’s.. I mean, it sucks, but I guess that’s the whole.. Celebrity thing. Still not really too great at  that.” He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Don’t tell anyone, but I don’t know anything about being a real person.”

“Compared to me, you are. How old are you anyway?” Aspen asked curiously, not even sure if he was older than he looked. He definitely looked like a teenager to her. “Me neither,” she agreed, though she never would’ve classified herself as a celebrity to anyone. Their band had gained notoriety, sure, but people weren’t recognizing her on the street and falling all over her yet. “Oh good. I don’t either. I’m always weird and awkward. I was born that way I think. I don’t think I’m what anyone expects a ‘rock star’ to be.”

[aspenstevensen]

charliexcoleman‌:

Charlie shrugged and refrained from rolling her eyes. As she scraped her plastic fork across the bottom of the empty to-go container, she came to the conclusion that she probably shouldn’t share what kinds of nights she and Josie had shared so far. “We’ve hung out. There’s nothing to tell,” she said, matter-of-factly, though her mischievous grin betrayed her words. “I can be your wingwoman definitely, and I’ll start by saying that purposely breaking instruments to get her to fix is a terrible idea. Just ask her to hang out, it doesn’t have to be a big deal or anything. You could literally bring her here. Or, I dunno, call an Uber and go explore whatever weird little city we’re in that week.”

Closing up her empty container, Aspen lifted her head as her friend explained that she & her bandmate had hung out. She wasn’t going to make a big deal about it, but the way that Charlie was grinning indicated it was much more than hanging out. There was something between them, which didn’t surprise her- Josie was gorgeous and had a magnetic personality. The difference in their maturity level, though, that was concerning to her. It wasn’t her business though, so it went unmentioned. As the blonde agreed to be her wingwoman, she grinned, laughing at her suggestions. “That’s not a bad idea. Should I phrase it so that it’s obviously a date, or should I just say hang out and make it low key?” She hated that she was acting as if she’d never dated before. Aspen had experience, but it had been a while since she liked someone, and she didn’t want to screw this up. 

[aspenstevensen]

juleskaplan‌:

“Yea yea,” Jules said, signing yeah with a swift downward nod of his fist. Twice. He’d continue to pepper simple words into his speech, seeing what she could follow and what she couldn’t. He was getting more excited by the minute. “I keep thinking Soundwave might get big enough one day to get one of those signers like Kanye has. She’s amazing! But no luck yet. Maybe I’ll do that next year, because performing is giving me serious anxiety that leads to sleeplessness and coffee-fueled all-nighters.” If she was listening, there was a trace of that accent in his voice. It was faint, since Jules wasn’t born deaf and he had implants so he wasn’t as far off from normal speech as most deaf people. It was often just remarked on as an ‘asian sounding’ accent. But Aspen might know better.

“Who. Taught. You?” he both spoke and signed at the same time. She said she wasn’t signing often, so not a family member? Or one she didn’t see often. Maybe it was just a community center thing. Or just a weird elective. He didn’t honestly care. He just was glad he could sign with someone. He could talk. He did it often enough. It didn’t mean he’d rather not have to. At home he never did if he was in sight of his family.

“That would be really cool. I love watching the signers at concerts. The way they can embody the song, it’s something cool to see. You should make the suggestion. I’m sure the festival makes more than enough money to pay a signer.” Aspen told him, because she could tell that it meant a lot to him. Inclusivity was important and though people tended to assume that deaf people didn’t listen to music, that just wasn’t the case. If they had signers, that meant more people could enjoy the bands that were playing, and that couldn’t be anything but a good thing. As he asked who taught her sign language, she smiled, his enthusiasm completely infectious.

“Learned. At. School.” She signed slowly, before adding, “I take refresher courses when I can. I was thinking about downloading the ASL app. Have. You. Heard. About. It?” Aspen was grateful that she’d been able to learn. The times that she’d used it to interact with someone were few & far between, but seeing the way he lit up around her made it all worth it.

[aspenstevensen]

thatdrummerjasey‌:

“Nope, we are in the same boat!” She replied with a bright smile appearing on her lips. “Well at least it wasn’t a part of your body now that would suck, but hurting pride can be bad too.”She teased. “Good just spacing out, does a person good.”

“At least I’m not on the boat alone,” she joked, nodding in agreement that hurt pride wasn’t a great thing. But Aspen would recover, considering she didn’t really know Jasey and she wasn’t too embarrassed. “Oh definitely. Good for your mental health.” She explained with a smile.

[aspenstevensen]

charliexcoleman‌:

“A few people, not too many, honestly. You and Josie, obviously,” she answered with a nervous laugh. Her interactions with the woman’s bandmate were much different than the ones she had with Aspen, but she certainly wasn’t ready to get into the dirty details. “There’s a bartender that’s pretty cool, Bailey. Florence. And a few other artists. And they’re all… mostly people I think could behave.” Leaning back into her seat, as far as the less-than-sturdy plastic chair would allow, she flashed Aspen a grin. “You should ask her to hang out again. What kinda dates can you go on while you’re on tour? A romantic outing to the first-aid tent?” 

“Josie, huh?” Aspen repeated, noticing the way that Charlie laughed like she had something to hide. She wasn’t a great liar, but she wasn’t going to press her too much about it if she wasn’t comfortable saying. That wasn’t the kind of relationship that they had. “I’m just teasing, you don’t have to say anything. Unless you want to.” She shrugged, comfortable with the other woman as they’d gotten to know one another. While she was admittedly gorgeous, she only saw her platonically, so she didn’t mind talking openly about her crush on Florence. “That’s cool. Sounds like we have a decent number of people.” As Charlie suggested she ask Florence to hang out, her cheeks flushed. “Hey, don’t put it past me. I am very clumsy, and it’s not outside of the realm of possibility. You know, I almost broke my bass just to have her fix it? So lame, right? I don’t really know what to do. Could you give me any sage advice? Be my wingwoman or something?”

[aspenstevensen]

phoenixhardy‌:

phoenix laughed softly as she agreed with the words he had spoke, her support making him feel a little less stupid because he hadn’t thought through what he had said at all when he shared that piece of advice that he had stolen straight from some of his friends. he walked along in what he felt was comfortable silence until she spoke up again, asking him that friendly question. “honestly i’ve got nothing on my schedule today. that’s why i partied so hard last night - because i knew i’d have the whole next day to recover.” he chuckled. “so it’s not a very interesting day today, but honestly those days can be the best kinds of days on tour amongst all of the hectic things going on.” he shrugged before sipping at his drink. “what about you, though?” 

a slow smile came to aspen’s face when she realized he didn’t have anything to do today. she was hoping to keep hanging out with him for a while. conversation was flowing easily and he was nice enough. aspen had been making an effort to get to know as many people on tour as she could. “i agree. and me neither. maybe we could walk around, check out some of the vendors or whatever? nothing big. just would rather not roam around alone, you know?’ she laughed. aspen didn’t have a ton of people who sought her out or even recognized her off stage, so she could pretty much get around unseen, but it wasn’t as much fun to walk around by herself. “if not, that’s cool, no worries.”

[aspenstevensen]

theodoresalem‌:

theo nodded his head, relating the the groan as that was a noise he made quite often when thinking about coming into his thirties soon. as she began to explain her sexuality slightly, the male couldn’t help but to laugh softly, because they seemed to be the exact opposites. “for me, i’m totally into guys way more than i’m into girls. i wouldn’t be able to explain why even if i tried, but that’s just how it is.” he shrugged his shoulders, swaying a little as he shared the information so easily due to the alcohol in his system. “the confidence is always what i drink for, ‘cause god i can be a real fucking loser without drinking. not to say that every person who isn’t confident is a loser, but that’s just the way i am. i’m a fucking mess.” he laughed at himself.

aspen couldn’t help but laugh as theo explained that they were on completely opposite ends of the sexuality spectrum. technically they were both fluid, but while she preferred women, he preferred men. that meant their friendship would likely remain just that, which she was happy about. it wasn’t something she wanted to complicate. “no, i totally get it. it’s the same way with me,” she agreed, licking the alcohol off of her lips as she listened to the guy rant. she shook her head. “hey, so am i. confidence is something i’m working on though. a friend suggested the purple hair, and i have to say, it really has helped.”

[aspenstevensen]

ethxnkxne‌:

“She’s the lead singer, right?” He asked, this time unsure if he was right. “I haven’t met her yet, but she looked pretty cool on stage.” Although, he assumed they all looked otherworldly on stage, even him. “Oh, that’s cool. I wish my sister was into music as much as I am. She thinks this whole band thing is just a means to an end,” he hadn’t talked to his sister since he left, mostly due to her inability to answer a phone, but he missed her every now and then. “Have to agree with you there. Bass just feels right.” He paused at her offer, considering it for a second. “I- Yeah, sure. Now I’m the one who forgot every duet I’ve ever heard.” He tried to find any song in the back of his mind. “Uhhh… Do you know Falling Slowly?”

“Yeah,” Aspen nodded, laughing softly as he admitted that she looked cool on stage. She’d have to pass that on, pretty sure that Josie would love to hear it. As Ethan talked about his sister & her lack of support for his music. It was a bummer to hear, but she sort of got it. Her sister had been selfish and pursued a solo career over their band which had been the beginning of the end. They weren’t nearly as close as they had been after the implosion that happened. When he asked if she knew Falling Slowly, her face lit up. “Of course I do! Oh, god, I loved that movie so much.” She took a breath, looked over at Ethan and smiled before she played the opening chords on the acoustic guitar. He would sing the first verse, then she’d join in. Aspen hoped their voices sounded good together, she was actually excited to hear how well they could harmonize with one another.

[aspenstevensen]

ethxnkxne‌:

“Whoever did come up with it must be a pretty blunt person. I admire people like that,” he admit with a small shrug. “I hate when that happens. It’s like when people ask you to tell them about yourself and you forget who exactly you are. You should just go with your first instinct and play Wonderwall,” he jokingly suggested. When she started playing, he sat quietly and listened, giving her a smile and nodding every once in a while so she knew he was enjoying it. As the song came to an end, he started to clap softly. “You sing a lot better than how you lead me to believe you would.” 

“It was Josie, and she is definitely that,” she chuckled. While Josie was much younger than her, she did admire her a great deal. Aspen knew that the singer was a mess in a lot of ways but she had traits she had always wanted. Her confidence, even when it was faked, was something she very much admired. The conversation lulled as she played the song for Ethan, smiling gently as he began clapping for her. “Thanks. I’m by no means the worst, I used to sing back up in my old band with my sister Fallon. But it’s not my thing. Not like bass. Nothing’s like bass.” She hummed, leaning back as she plucked the strings of the guitar absently. “What about a duet?” She suggested with a grin.

[aspenstevensen]

theodoresalem‌:

theo laughed at her question, shaking his head slowly in order to avoid having the room spin too much. “no way, i’m getting too old to be drinking like this every night.” he wasn’t that old at all, but as he did age he could feel his hangovers getting worse, along with his body’s reaction to alcohol in general. “you and me both.” he laughed at her words. “or guys, i’m not picky.” he put his glass down. “so do you ever drink more than this? or are you one of the responsible ones?” 

“i hear that. i’m in my thirties now,” she groaned, because she did feel too old for all of it. aspen smiled, agreeing with his statement. “i like guys too, but i am more into girls, i guess? if i had to pick i mean. i’m a lot pickier with guys.” she didn’t know why she was telling him all of this but it just came out. as theo asked her if she ever drank more than this, she laughed. “i have, but i try not to. it doesn’t take much to knock me on my ass. i don’t want to be an idiot, but it does give me more confidence. that could be a good thing.”