fleeting asperatus

they/them | just needing an outlet. be kind. | engage with critical thinking.

[asperitasnixe]

✶

UPG - Hlín, the brave

In spending time in the lovely company of lady Sjofn, these are the things I've experienced and learned. Of course, keep in mind these are all pure UPG, as our attestations of her are very scarse. Still, we have amazing Ásynjur in the Norse pantheon, who unfortunately we know very little about, and thus need to rely on modern hands-on experiences. I hope to contribute to the conversation by sharing my personal experiences.

HLÍN

Overview: Lady Hlín is a very well balanced goddess, she defends those under her care with fierce strength, but she knows she can't save everyone. She knows that grief is an inherent part of life, but also knows that just because it's unavoidable, doesn't mean it's not painful. She's the kind of goddess who would help you put to rest an older version of you that is no longer aligned with your highest good, and also hold space for you to grieve that past self, because she understands that changes are a form of death and can be very disturbing, even if they're positive ones. She is mostly cheerful or chill, but knows to be solemn and serious when situation requires. Very interested in the transient character of everything: good and bad.

Suggested Domain: Protection and grief.

Colors: Navy blue, burgundy, deep purple, black.

Runes: Isa, Dagaz, Sowilo.

Tarot: Queen of Swords, 5 of Cups, Death..

Crystal: Obsidian, onyx, malachite.

Other elements: Dark roses, veils, shawls, white mug with coffee, jazz, white dove, ocean, ocean waves, thorns, jasmine, funeral pyre, armor, spears.

Offerings: Jasmine tea, black or purple candles, prayer, eulogies, soul cakes.

Devotional Acts: Observing the transient character of everything, holding space to grieve versions of yourself who had to be left behind or could never develop, being a kind listener to those in mourning, veiling, practicing self protection measures (magical and mundane), martial arts, allowing yourself to feel a full range of emotions (including painful ones), learning first aid measures, taking up a course in grief counselling, praying for the deceased (known and unknown), volunteering to help clean graves.

Other Resources: ✶link 01 |✶ link 02 | Circle of Frith - Maire Durkan.

These were the result of meditation, blóts, tarot readings and rune readings. Other resources lead to the UPG of Linda Demissy and Maire Durkan, who wrote books about the Handmaidens.

[asperitasnixe]

i'm all serious and solemn in this blog but this the kinda shit my friends have to put up with

[aqua-regia009]

Miles Johnston

[asperitasnixe]

some characteristics of my astral experiences in no particular order:

bilocation (being aware of or doing things in the astral and the physical realms simultaneously)

loops (something playing out twice in a row)

being moved around without an input from myself

excessively touching my guides to keep myself grounded

seeing only parts of my guides sometimes instead of seeing their whole "body"

"mind's eye"

seeing things in first person, and then seeing them in third person, switching back and forth

"i'm losing my mind, aren't i"

"gods, am i sock puppeting this?"

experiences get clearer in my mind after some time, a few days after they occur (journaling helps)

drowsy sensation/heavy eyelids afterward

[asperitasnixe]

this month has been absolutely wild, lady Hlín really pulled no punches. i'm humbled, in awe and exhausted all at once. i need to put together some material to write about my experiences soon.

[setnuscaseon]

sjofn: affection and kindness.

[hearthwitchmagick-deactivated20]

[will-o-the-witch]

Tips for Discernment

Discernment is a crucial skill for any magic worker. It’s how we separate the magic from the mundane, reality from our imagination, and reduce the risk of being deluded or manipulated. Everbody already naturally does this a little bit, but actively strengthening the skill can be difficult for a beginner. Here are some tips, tricks, and techniques that have helped me. 

Write everything down. When doing a spell or working with a spirit, keep a written record of what you feel, say, witness, etc. This will help give you something objective to look back on later, which is a huge help for doing any post-research. You never know what details may give you a lead.

Pick a rule for “signs” and stick with it. What do you believe about coincidences? When do you believe something is a message from the Universe or your gods? Create a litmus test/threshhold for what you consider a sign; it doesn’t really matter what it is, so long as it’s consistently applied. That way, you’re saving your energy for the more important stuff instead of worrying/wondering about the small fry. On that note…

The “Rule of Three” (NOT to be confused with the Wiccan Rede.) This is a common discernment method for the concept above. One time seeing something is an instance, two is a coincidence, and three is a message.

When you ask for signs, be specific. Ask for something unique/specific enough that you wouldn’t reasonably expect it to happen anyway, but not so rare that it has no chance of manifesting. Color + Object (ex: let me see a purple feather) is a good method. That way you know exactly what your sign will be. 

The Gut Test. Sometimes when I’m communicating a spirit and I feel like something’s off, I’ll take a moment in my head and think, “this isn’t real. I’m making this conversation up.” Listen to how your gut responds. Does it agree right away? Does saying that feel incorrect, like it’s truly legitimate? Was the conversation legitimate up to a certain point? Listen to your gut and act accordingly. 

The Mimic Test. When working with spirits and “hearing” a voice in your head, try to recreate it with your own inner mind voice. Can you get it to be the same voice? Same volume? If you can, then you’re probably safe writing it off as your imagination.

PRACTICE. Practice. Practice. Practice feeling the energy of your plants. Practice feeling your own energy. Describe it in detail. Practice feeling the energy of any ritual objects. Practice communicating with a spirit you trust, like a guide or Ancestors. Just like a muscle, discernment becomes stronger with repeated use and withers when ignored. Practice on little things to keep you sharp for the big stuff.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up. It’s understandably a little embarrassing to admit we were wrong about something. And that’s okay! Pobody’s Nerfect! Recognizing our discernment mistakes makes us stronger practitioners, because it means you’re critically thinking about what you’re doing and striving to improve. At worst, a practitioner who never admits a lapse in discernment is actually missing that chance for growth, and runs a very high risk of being taken down a flight of fancy and getting increasingly disconnected from the real world. So be kind to yourself! Growing is good. 

[asperitasnixe]

#010

Modern myths (?) and how to engage

Every time I process things with friends or alone I write a little summary here, often about the same topic, so to the two people who read me, I'm (partially) sorry.

Anyway, I'm someone who is often parked squarely in what I call the "bold claim UPG", or the experience that is very "extraordinary" in the purest sense of the term, in which sometimes I'm posed with apparently information about the gods (bear with me, there's a point). I often come back to this topic because I'm trying to wrap my head around my experiences and UPGs without getting in over my head or lost in the proverbial sauce. And honestly? No idea if I'm doing a good job of it. Maybe I'm being too "down-to-Earth" and dismissing important experiences, or maybe I'm tripping too much and believing illusions.

That's the point I think I'm trying to hammer down in my head: I can't know with absolute certainty which of these scenarios is true. So I've wrote a few times about what I perceive to be the inherent loneliness of spirituality, the importance of being level-headed, and just discernment in general. But I think that dealing with this kind of thing is less of a set formula, and more like... having a bunch of different tools under your belt and applying them as needed.

So this is another tool I've conceptualized for me and pouring out here.

I'm a firm believer that often the UPGs we get are the UPGs we need - in other words, people experiencing a deity in completely different ways doesn't mean one of them has a truer truth, it just means that this is how the deity decided to present for whatever ending they're aiming at with these different individuals.

I also think sometimes deities play certain roles we create for them in order to connect to us through that door we opened, so if we "demonize" a certain deity too much or "sanctify" another too much, they are likely to play along in some occasions to meet us where we are and still get us to do what we need to do. So, for example, if you "demonize" a deity a lot, they might double down on that perception to get you to improve your wards or to get you to seek assistance of a guide you would have otherwise ignored. Of course, mind the nuance here.

This to say, sometimes we get a modern version of a myth about our gods, and when we are sometimes posed with undertakings or information about the gods that seem too "fantastical" or "exclusive", like "there's an interdimensional cosmic war between the gods and they're gathering up an army on Earth", it's time to take a step back not necessarily to dismiss it, but to engage with it healthily. Again, please mind the nuance.

What I've processed as another tool in helping with that is:

Establish an anchor point

Set a certain personal code/goal to serve as compass through the fog, and engage with things through that. If you have this "anchor" at ready, you will be able to remain firmly grounded as you process what you're experiencing. This can have many forms: a personal philosophy/framework, a deity whose characteristics represent what you want to remain near to, a trusted friend with whom you can process things together, a set of protocols to digest the UPG... Anything that could be a balanced space to allow you to reflect safely.

Conceptualize some analysis points for the experience: "what is this experience making me think about? What stands out as the overarching theme here? What concrete actions am I being driven to? How does it fit within my personal code? What different perspective can I apply for a broader understanding?"

I doubt that as individual humans we're gonna be the ultimate key to resolve some sort of big cosmic war, but I do believe that we can be summoned to alleviate the suffering of fellow living humans and even do some work on the spirit realm! Ultimately, it doesn't mean that it's a smaller, irrelevant work, it's absolutely just as vital as the rest, BUT my point is that focusing too much on the big interdimensional cosmic war might stray us from the things that we need to develop here and now. It might have us miss what purpose this narrative might be serving in our lives.

So, in the end, they're sorta like myths! We often don't take them literally, we just interpret the message and purpose they carry between the lines. They were, after all, the ancient people's UPGs once. But to get to that, first we need to identify that we might ourselves be living through our own myths :)

[ostdrossel]

Double puff, just to be safe.

[higher-noon]

This is the most ghibli-esc movement I’ve ever seen an animal make

[asperitasnixe]

#009

Loneliness and Communitas... Again ♡

So we start our spiritual journeys, and thanks to the internet, we can connect with hundreds, thousands of other people who are treading the same path! ...Or are they?

I've rambled on about diverging/contradicting UPGs and the social dance they require for a healthy navigation, but I'm once again drawn to the topic of the uniqueness of one's path, because I've noticed a lot of people, myself included of course, struggling with the good old "oh gods, my path looks nothing like theirs! I'm not doing it like everyone seems to be doing! Surely I must be delusional", so on and so forth.

Two things are at play here: discernment and loneliness. So let's address each separately.

✶ Discernment

A friend of mine and I both were doubting our experiences, thinking we were just imagining everything or making it all up, and this caused a lot of anxiety for us before we were able to come to terms with it.

The good news: this is a matter of practice. The bad news: this is a matter of practice.

Essentially, the more you allow yourself to hold these experiences, the easier it becomes to discern them. We have a lot of self-imposed barriers, but this is one of the direst in my opinion, which is "where's the line between a real experience and a daydream?". Honestly, sometimes we just don't know. And that's okay, y'know? We try to hold a good level of reason and try to "touch grass" and stay down-to-earth about our experiences, but some experiences just aren't down-to-earth at all! And they still hold importance. Maybe part of it is imagination. Maybe it isn't. What matters the most is what impact it has on your life. If it's got a positive impact, then it doesn't matter all that much, because in the end, even the best of mediums can't know with 100% certainty the truth of it all. So it all boils down to: does it enrich my life? Does it bring a positive, healthy development to me? As simple as that.

✶ Loneliness

As for the comparison aspect... no two journeys are the same. We have this idea that spiritual journeys are more or less the same, but I suspect this is just because we are used to seeing mainstream dogmatic religions, like Catholicism, for example, in which there's an appearance of sameness, but even in those you will find a lot of diversity.

People experience spirituality differently, at different rhythms and in different paces, but that doesn't mean that some better than others. That's just what their path looks like. Perhaps if they tried to follow yours, they would fail. So why try following anyone else's, if you can make the journey your own? It's scary and frustrating, we want to belong and we want to connect. We don't want to feel alone. But I always say: we are together in diversity. We are all bound by the common aspect that we don't have common aspects ahahah Even if our paths overlap with other people's sometimes, that's most likely going to be a temporary thing. Because spirituality is yours. Your spirit team will treat you as you. They love you for you. Even when we are feeling disconnected, that's just a feeling, because it's something that is a part of us, it's part of who we are, so the connection is never lost! So we're all following paths that are uniquely ours, and thus we are "alone" in that sense… But that's where the fun part begins!! Because that means you get to discover what your path's like! You get to create it! To experiment and try, and fail, and succeed, and make it completely your own! Have fun with it!

[asperitasnixe]

✶

UPG - Sjofn, the sweet.

In spending time in the lovely company of lady Sjofn, these are the things I've experienced and learned. Of course, keep in mind these are all pure UPG, as our attestations of her are very scarse. Still, we have amazing Ásynjur in the Norse pantheon, who unfortunately we know very little about, and thus need to rely on modern hands-on experiences. I hope to contribute to the conversation by sharing my personal experiences.

SJOFN

Overview: Lady Sjofn and I started on the wrong foot - I approached her with a million questions and that was the wrong method altogether. I then set aside the tarot questionnaire, apologized for my crude demeanor, and that's when we truly began to bond. Lady Sjofn at first felt a bit gloomy, there was a sensation of sorrow, but as we grew more used to each other's energies, she began to feel quieter, more reserved, but also gentle, caring, and with childlike curiosity. She has a very sweet sense of humor, and feels like she enjoys tranquility.

Suggested Domain: Affection, love.

Colors: Brown, gold, lavender, salmon.

Runes: Gebo, Fehu, Isa.

Tarot: Temperance.

Crystal: Rose quartz, amethyst.

Other elements: Amusement parks, cotton candy, candied apple, pumpkin seeds, eating seads, poppy flowers, poppy seeds, picnics, soft grass, warmth, pillows, plushies.

Offerings: Water, juice, honey, tea, chocolates, cake, ice cream, delicate sweets, dango, marshmallows, cookies, gummy bears.

Devotional Acts: Being a supportive, listening ear to someone in need; meditating and doing gentle breathwork exercises; enjoying some quiet time in nature; expressing your affection for others; helping someone feel better about themselves or life in general; offering support to silenced people; showing compassion; learning gentle parenting techniques; helping friends with kids look after them.

Other Resources: ✶link 01 |✶ link 02 | Circle of Frith - Maire Durkan.

These were the result of meditation, blóts, tarot readings and rune readings. Other resources lead to the UPG of Linda Demissy and Maire Durkan, who wrote books about the Handmaidens.

[setnuscaseon]

lofn: permission and love.

[happyheidi]

(via)

[thewoodbine-deactivated20241020]

You may be missing very important magical symbols, lessons, and spirits if you're only looking for things to present themselves in ancient, mystical, or "natural" ways. Sometimes a deities presence is felt in a fast food restaurant, and the universe slips sermons into the song selection of your daily commute.

The world we live in is modern, do not reduce the universe to only the archaic. It aged with us.

[asperitasnixe]

#008

Flag your UPG challenge

I've written about the responsibilities of sharing UPG before, but something I experienced earlier had me coming back to this subject.

Someone in a group stated something about a deity in a deterministic manner, as if it'd been a known fact, with no indication they were describing a personal anecdote. When confronted, they limited themselves to saying they trust their channeling.

So I'm gonna unpack that.

I've talked before about how diverging UPGs don't necessarily mean that one person has a truer truth. Diverging UPGs can coexist and even complement each other. So that's the first thing that we can use to engage with diversity in a positive way.

The second thing is that even the most experienced of medium is not foolproof and infallible. Your channeling can be sharp like a spear, accurate and solid, but you're still a human being, with a myriad of biases, thought processes, and other factors that do impact on your perception. No matter how experienced, no one is capable of fully grasping the absolute truths of divinity. Claiming to do so is borderline hubris and potentially cultish.

A third thing derives from that. As someone who communicates with spirits, you have got to keep in mind the responsibility of your contributions. If you're gonna flash your skills as credentials, you also need to keep in mind that witchlings who are just starting might take your word for it, as someone more experienced to look up to. With that in mind, making it abundantly clear when something is attested and when something is a modern UPG helps beginners discern their own path, and build it with critical thinking.

If you want to play a mentor role, that's not something you can run away from. This post, albeit rough, is a very good writing about the responsibilities of teaching.

There is nothing wrong with UPG. There is everything wrong with trying to play it as unquestionable fact.

UPG can lead to amazing things, but for this to happen, we have got to be better communicators, and this starts with adding these three little letters to our personal anecdotes.

[asperitasnixe]

✶

UPG - Lofn, the spark.

In spending time in the lovely company of lady Lofn, these are the things I've experienced and learned. Of course, keep in mind these are all pure UPG, as our attestations of her are very scarse. Still, we have amazing Ásynjur in the Norse pantheon, who unfortunately we know very little about, and thus need to rely on modern hands-on experiences. I hope to contribute to the conversation by sharing my personal experiences.

LOFN

Overview: Lofn is sparkly in nature, light-hearted, curious, hedonistic, and very fun-loving. She appears "fragile", but it's almost as if to induce a misleading judgment, as she's feisty and strong. Incredibly caring, sometimes to a fault. A force to be reckoned with when faced with bullying and segregation. She also feels innovative and forward-thinking, especially when it comes to flexibilizing overly conservative social constructs and promoting a way of living free of taboos.

Suggested Domain: Love (especially that which faces obstacles), healthy self-indulgence, fun, permission.

Colors: Deep royal blue, lilac, lavender, sky blue, pink.

Runes: Gebo, Laguz, Raidho, Algiz, Nauthiz.

Tarot: Page of Wands, The Fool, The Chariot.

Crystal: Rose quartz, carnelian, obsidian, malachite.

Other elements: April, cherries, cherry blossom, blueberries, lavender, waning moon, golden coin flipping over and over, keys, vines, jungle, shield, flame, butterflies, lily of the valley, water lily, drinking horn, Uranian or Neptunian energy.

Offerings: Water, hot cocoa, rice pudding, snacks, alcohol (mead), honey, emotional self-care, love letters or poems, incense.

Devotional Acts: Taking risks, standing up for marginalized people, defending LGBTQIA+ causes, sharing a laughter with someone, enjoying cheesy movies, listening to high energy music, expressing love for another, living your truest self, ridding yourself of guilt, defending someone you care about, establishing healthy connections, giving yourself permission to do what makes you happy.

Other Resources: ✶link 01 |✶ link 02 | Circle of Frith - Maire Durkan.

These were the result of meditation, blóts, tarot readings and rune readings. Other resources lead to the UPG of Linda Demissy and Maire Durkan, who wrote books about the Handmaidens.