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@asskii
One thing that helped me in life is like realizing that everybody else gets away with being ugly. Everybody else gets away with confronting people. Everybody else gets away with accidentally bothering people. Don’t worry about anything ever lol
how’s that house that raised you?
If you think having uncomfortable conversations is hard - wait until you see the result of not having them.
Just as you wish to hug and protect your younger self, your older self wishes the same for you
"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there
hate when people are like "trust your gut! listen to your intuition!" like okay well my gut is telling me every person i lay eyes on is hunting me for sport and my intuition is saying i should find a secluded cave and live there forever so what do you suggest i do with that information
"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back
this reminds me of me and my friend’s horse named Drugs
when i was in middle school me and my friends had a small yellow horse eraser we fondly named “drugs”. this lead to a lot of middle school tomfoolery around his name and saying shit like “Ma’am, so and so took drugs from me” and other dumb shit like that.
eventually, our english teacher, Mr. R, caught onto the joke. instead of writing us up or sending us to the principal though, he played along, making similar jokes like “(name), stop taking drugs.” “hey. you three. you need to share drugs if he’s going to be at the table.” “no drugs today, guys?” so on and so forth.
by the end of the school year it had become a very fond joke between us and this english teacher, so we decided since we were moving onto our freshman year, we decided to give our eng teacher this little yellow horse eraser.
so we go find our english teacher, Mr. R, who was setting up cornhole with our principal and other “big important people” for our 8th grade graduation party, and we hand him the little eraser.
to which he yells as loudly (and happily) as he can: “YOURE GIVING ME DRUGS?!!”
i actually went back to visit him before i left for college, and to this day he still has Drugs on his desk, and regularly tells his new students about me and my friends. ty op for reminding me about Drugs the Horse
What do you do in situations where you’re in the wrong and repentance isn’t enough
I kill my self to make everyone feel guilty
it is winter and nothing in my house is doing well. my plants are mad at me. there's a creeping fog of fruit flies hanging by the sink. I catch myself reasoning the nutritional value of boxed wine. my dog drops his ball at my feet and all I can do is apologize. a back tooth hurts for two days and then winks a "just kidding."
it is a hard thing to realize this is all mine, all the time. the dishes. the oil change. the postcards I meant to send two weeks ago to friends I love, but can't bring myself to text back. is adulthood just upkeep? iron supplements and grocery runs. work meetings to track YoY progress where I can't help but picture my life as a flat line the past few months. it's winter. I try to remember everything seems bigger when I can't open the windows and air out my worries. that every year, my writing gets buried under the snow, only to sprout something new once the days get longer. yes, this is just mine, and it feels hard to love when I'm throwing on a few more layers to make sure it's warm, bringing tissues when it is sniffling through some flu shots, or replacing a weeping bag of spinach with a fresh one to see if this is the week we let good habits stick. this is mine. and while I'll chew through a few layers of bottom lip when the going gets rough, I'm still set on going.
I can be gentle. I can be patient. I can remember for every heavy ounce of ownership, there are moments of weightlessness in between. this is mine, to kiss the tears from my own cheeks and feel my young heart bandage its knees. even when walked slowly, there's a better I keep catching glimpses of, with no deadline of arrival.
YOURE 30???????
yeah I mean i've been posting on tumblr since 2011, I'm part of the geriatric tumblrinas
#you started blogging when I was 2
no, spotify, i don't want to use ai to "turn my ideas into playlists". i already fucking do that with my brain and hands and i do it for fun. what, should i get ai to pet my cat for me? to play my silly games for me? to spend time with my beautiful wife for me? how about i rend you asunder
theyre going to kill me because nobody in history has acted strangely and im the very first
anyway, we get up, we make the bed, we feed the pets, we try to let kindness guide our encounters with the world, we scream and scream and scream and scream until it turns into manic laughter, we feed ourselves, we water the plants, etc
“omg its a sign” no girl its a carefully curated algorithm based on ur scrolling habits and selling u exactly what u desire
