Derek the Magnificent @assortedfragments - Tumblr Blog

greatlordfluffernutter

Every Song Should start with "It's Britney, Bitch"

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tatersgonnatate

It goes like this, “It’s Britney, bitch.” The minor fall, the major lift. The baffled king composing hallelujah.

mercuryfountain-deactivated2024

I don't think I'm better off for having a computer in my pocket at all times. I was better off when the computer was a thing I booted up to play Zoo Tycoon.

shirtsthatgohard

bloglikeanegyptian

what does a free palestine look like?

it looks like palestinians living freely in their homeland without fear of their homes being stolen, their children being kidnapped, their houses being bombed, their borders blockaded, their passports limited, their relatives unable to return to their own land, their produce and taxes and roads being controlled by a racist settler-colonialist entity, their livelihood and existence threatened by a genocidal occupation. it looks like full citizenship of their nation and freedom of movement and choice on their land. u know the basic human rights everyone in the world who is not under occupation has?

parkchanwoohoo

I'm one of two people of color at a dinner w coworkers right now and I'm debating 1) saying something outlandish to make everyone laugh uncomfortably or 2) pretend to get really offended and storm out before it's time to split the bill

parkchanwoohoo

Multiple people went "oooh" at the lazy Susan I'd go home if it weren't for the Beijing duck

parkchanwoohoo

You make it all worth it, baby

parkchanwoohoo

This sounds like a joke but it isn't. I'm the only Asian person here and everyone waited for me to start eating and started copying me. I should start spitting the skin out on the floor and see who'll follow along

parkchanwoohoo

Coworker said itadakimasu

parkchanwoohoo

Coworker: I can tell this is high quality Chinese food because I don't feel sick afterward

parkchanwoohoo

I'm for real about to trigger the race war

parkchanwoohoo

There's one other nonwhite here and I'm trying so hard to give him the LOC (look of color) but he is not looking at me

parkchanwoohoo

Me trying to telepathically communicate with him on the Asian-Latino ESP line but the network is busy

thyrell

skyrim demastered argonian is the nicest looking videogame character of all time

thyrell

this guy would never hurt me

clovermatcha

dqnquality

brucebocchi

THIRTY YEARS OF PRION DISEASE

ami-dark

travalicious

maeborowski

its not a greentext but can we all agree the capra demon post is the best 4chan post

sharkle

which post?

maeborowski

loveamongthesailors

Most difficult set of choices ever to face humanity

meowser65

this is husband material right here

whitehairedanimeboyfriend

"I fucked ur mom this" "I have sex with your dad that" well I have a weird homoerotic relationship with your hot older brother and he got lost in my eyes over our jumbo pizza slices and forgot to pick you up after soccer practice. it's raining and you're devestated btw