Astarion’s Juice Box @astarionsjuicebox2001 - Tumblr Blog

Me, playing bg3: Yeah, I’m Astarion’s Juice Box. I’ll let that vamp drain me all night long

Me, getting blood drawn at the doctor: 😢 Can I get a lollipop

#astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion meme #astarion simp #Astarion’s juice box

So here’s how my embraced Durge run is going

#bg3 memes #shadowheart bg3 #lae’zel bg3 #minthara bg3 #bg3 durge #dark urge #durge bg3 #the dark urge bg3 #hanging in the back with the dainty boys #bg3 strong women #strength 8 club #bg3 bhaalspawn #bg3 sorcerer

ghost-kings-court-jester

Bloodweave is so funny cause when you start the game they seem like complete opposites because Gale will fall in love with you in the first five minutes for being nice to people and Astarion loses approval the second you say you’ll help someone for free but then you realise they are actually the most intelligent guys on the party (stat wise), they spend all their free time being two extremely hangry bitches who make complaining an art form, reading giant tomes, showing off and are both seriously considering ascending to Godhood to not have to deal with their trauma like normal people. Like they literally deserve each other. No one else should have to deal with them.

knife-lore

Since TikTok is dying and I promised to be more unhinged on here, my most controversial Baldur’s Gate 3 opinion is that Shadowheart is not the bottom in either Shadowheart/Lae’zel OR Shadowheart/Karlach

astarionsjuicebox2001

No, this makes a lot of sense. Viconia did not raise a pillow princess, nor did Shar.

#baldur’s gate 3 #shadowheart #karlach #lae’zel #they’re all switches your honor #bg3 shadowheart #bg3 headcanons #Shar #viconia devir

ratcarney

TUMBLR 101: a helpful guide for tiktok refugees

are YOU a former tiktok user trying to learn how to use tumblr to fill the void the american tiktok ban is leaving in your soul? here are some things you should know, from someone who’s going on their eighth year on this hellsite:

1. you can say anything on here. gone are the days of having to use words like “unalive” and “seggs.” murder! kill! sex! fuck! speak your mind!

2. there is a community for you on here. regardless of what you’re into or however small the fandom is, you have a place here. at least one other person will have heard of your weird obscure interest. strike up a conversation!

3. followers don’t matter. tumblr is one of the last remaining social media sites in which your number of followers means absolute jack shit. this can be disorienting at first, but once you lean into the fact that everyone on this website is equal, it’s very freeing. clout means nothing here.

4. similarly, you can post at any time. while tiktok has an algorithm that favors certain times, tumblr has no such algorithm. post whatever you want, whenever you want. every post has virtually the same chance at getting notes, regardless of when it is posted.

5. tags can have spaces between the words! this one is very exciting. tags can be a whole sentence. you can also use the tags to comment on someone’s post without actually adding onto the physical post itself (which is sometimes frowned upon and called “derailing” if you use this feature to bring up a completely different point other than the one that’s being made on the original post).

TL;DR: speak your mind, find your place, followers don’t matter, post anytime, have fun with tags!! tumblr is a wonderful site used to share things you’re excited about. be patient with yourself as you’re learning and have fun!

astarionsjuicebox2001

Not Baldur’s Gate 3 related but still relevant information

This is how I believe the companions of Baldur’s Gate 3 would play Undertale (qualifications: these are my special interests so shut up)

Lae’zel: if it comes in her path, it dies. Maybe she’ll spare Papyrus and Toriel. Hard Maybe

Shadowheart: Says she’s gonna do a genocide run. Immediately gives up once she meets Papyrus.

Astarion: Only kills random encounters. Spares bosses. Sans is his favorite. Definitely tries to flirt with Toriel.

Gale: Does every single run-through imaginable. Interacts with every object, reads every book. Talks to every NPC. Then once he knows everything, he moves on to Deltarune.

Wyll: Took a few accidental neutral runs for him to get True Pacifist. He’s the Blade of Frontiers, not the Peaceful Negotiator.

Karlach: True Pacifist Only. Papyrus is her favorite, followed by Undyne in a close second

Halsin: Also True Pacifist Only. Spends 30 minutes petting Lesser Dog.

Minthara: Will do Genocide run. No remorse. Not even the Sans fight can stop her.

Everyone make some noise for DJ SHART!

#dj shadowheart #shadowheart meme #dj shart #bg3 shart #bg3 shadowheart #shadowheart #shadowheart bg3 #bg3 memes #bg3 meme #baldur’s gate 3

#astarion #bg3 astarion #bg3 memes #astarion ancunin #astarion meme #gale dekarios #gale #bg3 gale #gale meme #wyll ravengard #bg3 wyll #wyll meme #wyll bg3 #they never make the goddamn jump #the no hop boys #gods damn it Gale

starbrightcloud

Astarion may not need to cook, but I can guarantee he makes some fantastic morning-after meals to repay Tav for the late night nibbles

astarionsjuicebox2001

On the one hand, I do want to appreciate this fine piece of art. But on the other, I can’t stop thinking about how unsanitary and unsafe that’s looking.