remembrance.

just leave me your stardust to remember you by. ❞ affiliated xion. | written by rika

[astemoria-blog]

(xion vc) oh my god what even is “getting sick” i.......?

here’s an event starter call to get xion back into the swing of things! ovo! she doesn’t really understand kids so xion is most likely up for item retrieval or gathering! but she likes the idea of making stuff too uvu! 

current cap at 3!

[astemoria-blog]

firestarter. ･ﾟ*.

     “yeah. i do. i remember you just fine.” 

     he can’t believe that he… cried. the steady stream of tears seems to have stopped, now, but axel’s eyes sure do sting. is his stupid brain really this good at faking emotions? not to mention how xion’s crying, too. the sight of her crying makes him want to start up all over again. instead, he sniffles, rubbing at his eyes. get it together, axel. get it together. this is important.

     “…i remember everything.” he remembers fighting so hard against ever forgetting her, too. “hell, i’m sorry for forgetting in the first place, xion. real sorry.” he knows that was her intention - and knew it back then, too -  but he has to apologize, regardless. screw the technicalities. all of that stuff is just complicated mumbo-jumbo which gives him a headache if he thinks about it for too long. xion was - is - one of his best friends. forgetting one of your best friends isn’t something that should happen. ever. “it must’ve… sucked. being forgotten like that and all.” he scratches the back of his head, frowning. “y’know, i met up with roxas for a while.” for a moment, he stops speaking as the memories come back to him. “not here,” he adds, quickly. “in another world. quite a while ago, too…” he trails off. “anyway… he forgot all about me for a bit, too.” back in the simulated version of twilight town. “i knew that’d be the case, but it still hurt. it hurt real bad.” it was so… lonely. so hopeless. 

     a nobody, having hope in the first place… a part of him wants to call it a joke. but he can’t deny the impact that his friends have had on him. can’t deny it at all, even if there’s no logical explanation for it. 

     axel looks at xion once more, his features serious. “i’ve… i’ve got you memorized, xion. seriously. if - y’know, if i ever have a say in anything, i’ll never forget you ever again.” a pause. “…man, even if i don’t have a say, i’ll fight against anything that tries to mess with those memories. no matter what. and if i still forget, i’ll find you again. and when i do, i want you to give me a thrashing, you hear me?” even now, he feels like he deserves it. “don’t hold back.”

     he rests a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. she mentioned sora, and that reminds him that he’s also seen the guy around. “oh, yeah. i ran into sora too. he was saying some weird stuff.” axel shrugs. “got me thinking, though… if sora’s here, do you think roxas ever will be?” or… anyone else from before. at this point, anything seems possible. what if members from the organization appear? his throat tightens as saïx, in particular, comes to mind. xion’s clearly tough enough to take care of herself, but he still wants to keep her safe from anyone who tries to harm her… no matter what. 

     now’s not the time to think - much less talk - about icky things, though. not when the possibility of reuniting with his best friends may actually exist. “i hope roxas shows up,” axel says quietly. “…we still haven’t gone on that trip to the beach, huh?” 

       axel may have his tears under control, but xion? no, she’s still hiccuping and sobbing like a mess. if he’s got her memorized, then he remembers how terribly emotional she is, right?  she can’t stop crying as easily as he can; after all! she never dreamed of being actually remembered nor having the opportunity to be with her friends again. having hope was fine, believing that maybe someday was okay, but now that the reality is here, it truly does feel as if she’s floating away in dreamland. 

    but still, cry as she might, axel’s words can’t help but bring a smile to her lips. always, without fail, he manages to do that, and she’s glad that has never changed. even as her sniffles interrupt their reunion, she doesn’t dare let her own crying distract her, wanting to listen earnestly and closely to his words, taking all of them and forgetting none of them. there had been slight excitement that bubbled up within her at the mention of their best friend, but it quickly diminishes as he continues on. soon enough, the excitement is replaced by a throb of pain upon finding axel experienced her pain. in the end, wasn’t that her fault?

    ❝ it’s... it’s not like it was your fault you forgot me, ❞ she hiccups out, gloved fingers wiping at her tears. although absolutely messy from her crying, she allows her visage to be viewed, tearful irises meeting the elder’s without fail. “sometimes... things can’t be helped... but in the end, things...” she laughs, breathless, still ready to cry. “somehow, things... turn out okay. i won’t say it didn’t hurt, and you going through it hurts too... and... if anything, i should apologize for anyone forgetting anything...”

    “still... don’t say things like that...” comes her scolding, oddly firm despite her sniffling and tears still falling down her cheeks. however, when axel speaks of sora, xion’s gaze falls as she recalls her own meting. “i’ll fight too. you won’t be alone and... sora, he...” her lips purse, as if unsure of whether or not she should go on. from what she could tell, what the brunet said were things that hadn’t happened yet... for both her and axel. would they return with these memories intact? even so... hiding things didn’t feel right anymore. “he... he said things to me too...” and then she looks up, at the redhead, gaze firm. “he knew me, axel, said we fought together...” 

    and though she looks serious, a smile breaks through regardless, hope shining in her eyes. “and... if sora knew me, then really anything can happen... roxas might really show up and... and...” she’s on the verge of tears again, but laughter bubbles out regardless. “and we really can go to the beach...” her fingers lace before her abdomen, an old habit of self-comfort, but this time she does it to convey her belief. 

    “maybe we can... live together here too... we don’t have to do missions, don’t have to take out heartless... there are tasks to take on if we want, but... it'd be just us and...” xion smiles, shoulders shrugging. “and a bunch of snow.”

[astemoria-blog]

unwaveringradiance‌.･ﾟ*.

In a way, it’s reassuring that a lot of people he knows, specifically those that are his friends have found themselves in this strange world as well. At the very least, it lets Sora know that he’s not alone. Though in truth, even if his friends weren’t here, he’d probably end up making many new ones regardless. No matter how tough things seem to get for him, his brightly shining light always seems to easily connect him with so many people.

Just by looking at her, Sora can see that something might be distracting the black haired girl, but he decides to not pry. After all, didn’t Donald tell him not to meddle (albeit unsuccessfully)?

“Oh yeah? I’ve barely been here for long, and even though the cold is a bit much for me, I’m sure I’ll get used to it. Not in this outfit though, I don’t think Master Yen Sid freezing cold temperatures in mind when he made these for me.” he laughs, hoping to see his friend smile again. “But that’s good, I’m gonna have to pick up a warm jacket at some point, huh?”

As he’s about to say something else, he’s immediately interrupted by the sound of Xion’s voice. He tilts his head to the side a little in confusion. She…doesn’t know who I am? That’s weird. I fought along side her not all that long ago, didn’t I…?

“Huh? What do you mean? Of course I know you, Xion! We fought…together… at the Keyblade Graveyard? You don’t remember that?” This is definitely a bit strange. Could this be a Xion who time traveled from the past? Like Xehanort did? He still doesn’t how time traveling works, but this definitely seems like it could be the case.

       the book in her hold is closed gently as his words register in her mind, hands gently resting atop the cover, but expression still as lost as ever. not only did he know her, but they even fought together? that’s impossible! xion shouldn’t even have a body to do anything physical. there’s a magic in eidolon that lets her exist here, but physically meeting sora beforehand? either sora got his memories jumbled up, or she lost some of hers... which doesn’t seem plausible, considering the only time she ever met the boy was through his memories and taking his face as her own.

    after all, the xion of the present doesn’t know anything about time travel or about how nobodies have hearts or even that she really is her own person. the xion that sits in confusion before the brunet is just some lost girl that shouldn’t exist, but should be inside of his heart. 

    ❝ it’s not like i don’t remember it... it’s more like... for me, it didn’t happen... ❞ she looks up from her lap, a gloved hand raising to rest atop her chest, right where a heart should be. “right now, i should inside of you, sora. that’s where i belong...” but then she pauses, lips pursing. “at least, i thought i did... you know me and riku remembers me... so something must have happened right?” she clears her throat, brows still furrowed as she offers a smile. 

    “you said we fought together, and with eidolon having some strange magic...” fingertips raise to her forehead, gaze falling back down as she attempts to piece everything together. “maybe... i’m... different than you two...?” well, it is an attempt, after all.

[astemoria-blog]

holypath.･ﾟ*.

She returns the smile, noting the self-conscious fidgeting that characterised the girl’s demeanour. It was certainly cute… and somewhat sad. Wanting to read a ‘regular book’… while Ophilia didn’t seem the kind to think deeply on things, it’s easy enough to understand what those words meant. This girl had not experienced an ordinary childhood… or at least not been able to access the opportunities many were blessed with.

Turning to her book and flicking gently through the pages, she eventually settles on a spot and holds it up, for the girl to see. “It’s about Eidolon’s faith. See?” On the page is a delicate watercolour sketch of one of the fated glass deer she had heard so much about. The notes beneath it say they are only a representation, drawn from descriptions of the few who had sighted them – but it seems to shimmer and shine as if it would leap from the page and greet them. With a giggle, she pokes her head over the top of the book. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

Perhaps it wasn’t the kind of reading most young girls desired, though. “Is there a particular kind of book you would like? I’ve caught a peek at most of the spines, at the very least.”

       when the picture is offered for her viewing, xion finds herself leaning forward, though her lower half remains stationary, as if glued to the spot. perhaps it was her sheer awkwardness that keeps her from actually approaching the blonde, but the woman has caught her attention regardless. the expression xion wears is nothing short of awestruck, stars sparkling in her oceanic eyes. she has only ever seen scenery that can be deemed as absolutely beautiful, and just the experience of seeing such a breathtaking image is enough to be engraved in her mind. 

    however, the blonde says something that snaps her out of her trance, head tilting in question. faith? was that what the villagers meant when they spoke of diaidem? was it simply something to believe in? regular humans were so strange. 

    ❝ it’s beautiful but... the people here believe in an animal? ❞ she means no harm by the question, truly intrigued. it’s so painfully clear the teen has little knowledge in the way of the world, and though she’s old enough to strike enemy after enemy down, childish curiosity still grabs hold of her. 

    though she’s asked a question, her lips purse and her attention is turned towards the shelves lining the walls. it’s clear this kind stranger isn’t a native to the lands, so would it be faster to read herself? 

    “is there one about eidolon’s history...?” another pause, and then her shy smile returns. “and... um, is there any more with pictures?” how childish! but it can’t helped, right? picture books didn’t exactly exist in the castle that never was.

[astemoria-blog]

firestarter.･ﾟ*.

     something’s off about this. way off. 

     the stranger doesn’t really look at him, and yet, as she talks… axel feels weirder and weirder. he can barely focus on what she’s saying. that cloak - her face - the way she glanced at him, even if it was for only a short moment… a knot forms in his throat. she says she’s a traveler, like him. does that mean she came from another world? 

     could it be… a world he’s been in? maybe. it’s not impossible. but something still feels off. 

     his eyes drift down to what she’s holding. she’s definitely trying to keep it hidden - but axel’d know one of those damn things anywhere. it’s a keyblade.

     he blinks, staring at it. stupefied. she asks him a question, but he doesn’t reply. not yet. in fact, his ability to use words? completely gone at the moment. 

     because he knows her.

    eyes widening, it comes back to him. in thin threads, at first. sitting by the clock tower in twilight town, so high in the sky that he felt as if he could touch the sunset itself. the taste of ice cream, salty yet sweet, on his tongue. the sound of laughter… his own laughter. roxas’ laughter. and…

     her laughter.

     axel lunges forward - though still beside her - as he tries to see her face better. the sight of him doing so would be almost comical, if you looked past his sheer desperation.

     he definitely knows her.

     those thin threads come together, weaving the memories whole, one at a time. he remembers her. remembers everything they went through - the good and the bad, the laughter and the frustration. 

    his thoughts settle on one memory in particular: the last time they were together. truly together. in front of that old mansion… the way he screamed until his throat was raw. the way he attacked her with everything he had. the way she slipped through his fingers regardless.

    “xion,” axel says, and the word comes out in a rasp. the burn in his chest may as well be a fire, spreading through his body and causing his eyes to sting. “that’s your name, yeah? you’re xion.” 

     he knows what’s happening. he’s… he’s feeling… something. “how…?” 

     “is this some kinda joke?” he rubs at his face. hot streaks of tears are spilling down his cheeks. “shit.” he shakes his head, pulling himself together. when was the last time he cried? this shouldn’t be possible. 

     “…i’m new, yeah. so this is where you’ve been.” the pain in his chest just won’t quit. “i remember now. i promised that i’d find you. that i’d bring you back.” he looks down at her. “don’t think i can do any bringing back at the moment, but…” he trails off. 

     “finally. i finally found you.” 

       when he says nothing and gapes at her, whatever exists in that cavity in her chest beats almost painfully. what is he waiting for? does he plan to ask her of her affiliation? her coat and keyblade are easy landmarks to someone that can recognize such items, but no other has a keyblade and wears the coat other than roxas. she can’t come up with excuses if he asks, but she finds she doesn’t have to. 

    the elder forces her body to turn, and just a glance at his face has her realizing something has clicked. then he’s crying and saying her name, but all xion can do is blink and stare. it makes sense he would recall her. sora spoke to her like an old friend. riku, though visibly uncomfortable, still spoke her name with sheer confidence. it makes sense, but it feels so unbelievable. it’s too good to be true, so all she can do is stare with her own wide eyes, disbelief in her voice as she speaks.

    ❝ axel...? you... you remember me...? ❞ it’s pitiful, the way she stares up at him like a child unsure of what to believe. but she doesn’t even wait for an answer as her blade is dropped to the freezing snow, body turning to fully face him, hands raising though pausing in the air as if at a lost on what to do. 

    she’s trembling as she stares up at him, and then the tears she had forced back fall with a simple blink, brows furrowing. she makes no move to wipe them away, head only shaking as voice soft as she struggles to speak around the lump in her throat. her shaking hands hold themselves in front of her chest, knuckles white beneath her black gloves.

    “i... i just got here too... a wh-while ago... it hasn’t been long...” she pauses to inhale, a meager attempt to calm herself, but she finds she simply can’t. “i... with sora... and...” her gaze falls, tears dripping down her cheeks, wetting the snow beneath their feet. i’m not even supposed to be here is what she wants to say, but even if she isn’t, she’s grateful for the absolute impossible for allowing her to meet her friend again. 

    “you... you found me...” breathless laughter escapes her lips, a sob breaking the small chime. “you remember me and you found me...” finally, her hands break apart to cover her face, and she thinks they must look absolutely ridiculous, standing there simply crying at one another. but ridiculous or not, the tears she sheds are full of joy and disbelief, and it should make sense his memories of her came back because she herself said memories of them together would always remain, but...

    the fact they could meet again is a miracle. perhaps it’s cynical to think so, but she never thought miracles like this could happen. sora is a miracle worker, sure, but she isn’t supposed to exist, isn’t supposed to be remembered, always quietly watching over sora and her friends in the depths of the brunet’s heart. 

    though, if miracles can happen, then maybe it isn’t so bad to believe in them.

[astemoria-blog]

dawndreamt.･ﾟ*.

It is a gesture that comes to him so reflexively that, perhaps, it does not entirely register to him as something unusual until he notes the way her gaze lingers on him, and Riku can’t help but withdraw a little into himself and murmur an apology ( as if he has any right to lay hand on her, he who as done so much wrong—he does not deserve any of it, has no right to want anything of her ). Xion is her own, he reminds himself, stop trying to see her as anything but that; painful, there is a sense of pain to have to force himself to acknowledge it— what a beautiful tragedy they are. It would do him good to remember that there are boundaries that exist, and he should not overstep his bounds; for his own sake, if not hers. He has been tugged around by the agenda of so many others before, he will not stoop so low as to doing the same to her.

A moment that he takes to observe her, carefully— almost scrutinizing, as he tries judge what she is thinking; a loose shrug of his shoulders. “Perhaps it will be— whatever you make of it will be fine.” There’s nothing much he really had to add to that, a small nod of acknowledgement; that sounds fairly like her. He can’t really blame her, or judge her on that choice. Really— he’ll probably have to do the same soon, see what he could glean from these parts.

“I suppose not.” Albeit, he has not been able to use those powers for a while now; she doesn’t really need to know that though, most of his magic has been stifled here anyways. “But it would do us good to not wander too far off regardless. Unless you happen to know this area quite well?” Riku pauses when she does, waits for her to speak what trouble has begun to plague her mind. Guilt burns a little, when he sees how quickly her excitement has been dampened— it is for her own good, he tries to reason with himself, surely that much should be understood ( but since when have his demons ever been reasonable ones ).

“We’re already going.” His tone is light— a pause as he shakes his head at her. “None of that. What do you want to do? It’s…okay to think about things that you want. Just… just take it as a lesson to consider things like that in the future.” He… ah, he dislikes being placed with making decisions for her— being treated as if he knows everything— hah! Such irony it was— was it not he who has been steered in the wrong direction so many times before? Even steered her in the wrong direction, perhaps? She should use the freedom she has here, be selfish for once ( is it his own selfishness or selflessness that wants that, though? )

( He has lost that joyful innocence in his life— if it selfish, then, so be it— Xion should at least have a chance at that kind of life here )

       ❝ i don’t really know the area, but that’s why reconnaissance is important, ❞ she says offhandedly, friendly sass in her tone as she smiles up at him. she can’t exactly break habits she’s known all her life, but xion thinks ‘looking around’ counts as reconnaissance no matter if one is part of an evil organization or not. perhaps that was part of everyone’s daily lives? she isn’t entirely sure, but she realizes with occupations such as ‘scout’ available in eidolon, she likes to think it is. 

    of course, for these two having traveled through different worlds, wrapped in plots that revolve around ‘light’ and ‘darkness’ and almost tangible things different than organic ‘hearts,’ what is normal and abnormal is separated by a near blurred line. regardless, their knowledge is different. but, ah, her memories easily mix together with sora’s, no matter how distant they seem now. glimpses of the brunet’s experiences still remain in her mind, as if she’s there but not truly. complications like that make what she actually knows a mess in itself.

    except that is what xion is: a being full of complications no one can truly wrap their heads around. before she had been deemed a “special nobody” like roxas, but she’s come to realize confusing is a better explanation. to exist and not at the same time... to slowly fill gaps in memories until she truly can say she exists... it’s a lengthy process xion never really thought could occur, but she’s innocent enough to have belief meetings can come again. after all, here she is speaking to riku again. 

    it’s not as though she had a desire to be saved, but thinking of the possibility of futures where she could be with her beloved friends again wasn’t a sin either. after becoming an existence in people’s minds and hearts, she became able to possess the will to have desires. it was just... naminé and riku gave her the ability to exercise it, no matter the paths they lead her to take. one was to be bent to the will of xemnas and the other was to help her friends. riku can feel guilty all he wants, but he helped her see there was more than one option ( and even now, she’s thankful for it ).

    “acting spontaneously isn’t too bad,” she hums, and perhaps this is her simply attempting to ease both their hearts. they have no plans to actually follow anymore. no duties to being a master and none tied to being a puppet. at the moment, in this cold world where wishes are allowed to be wished, they’re both their own people. however, undeniably, it’s a comment like that that may remind him so much of his two closest friends. though, maybe this is just xion herself, cut off from all monopolization.

    “but i see your point...” a pause, and then she’s nodding to herself, strides becoming confident. “right! planning ahead is important, but for now, let’s follow whatever that thing was... oh, but i heard from the villagers there could be some bears... apparently they’re dangerous, but i don’t think it’ll be too much of a problem...” 

    she looks up at the sky, a smile in her voice. “roxas beat up heartless with a stick before, so i think we’ll be fine.”

[astemoria-blog]

petitmafioso‌.･ﾟ*.

“Seems like we’re all left on our own to survive, if that says anything.”

It makes Chuuya think about his current situation. He is just as ill-equipped to deal with the climate as Xion is. She doesn’t seem as bothered by his curiosity now, so that is a plus. It really wasn’t his intention to stare, and he had seen weirder people wearing even weirder things. 

Hell, he could consider himself one of those “weird people”. Ability users were not the kind that would go under the radar. Something always ended up happening. Xion looks just as odd as him, that was all. It was easy to discern the ‘visitors’ to this place from actual residents, just… some stood out more than the rest.

“I have just arrived recently. Though I am still not sure how.”

There was the whole deal with ‘why’ instead of how, including how he was able to exist without… the whole deal with his powers. A mystery Chuuya was sure he would not solve so soon, and absolutely sure he will not be solving this alone. He’d need information and people he could trust first. One step at a time.

“Have you been here long? You don’t seem surprised by every little new thing, so it’s just a guess.”

He adjusts his hat reflexively, making a mental note about said store. Worth checking out, though currency was a pressing matter also. Oh, well. He’d cross that bridge later.

       it’s not as though she could say she’s used to jumping between worlds, now could she? xion has come to realize every new traveler has different backgrounds ( at least, from the few she’s interacted with, after all ), but there’s that part of her that still has ‘keep quiet’ ingrained in her very being. the smile she offers is shy, hands wrapped around the handle of her keyblade fidgeting every so slightly. 

    ❝ um... i actually got here recently myself, but... ❞ she grins sheepishly, amused even with herself. “it’s my first time seeing snow, so i think the excitement is winning me over.” however, though she wears a smile, it’s troubling to hear this stranger isn’t entirely sure how he came to the tundra either. she herself remembers hearing a voice, but can something like that be enough to take her from sora’s heart and give her a body to reside in? 

   shaking her head, brushing those thoughts that would more than likely bring an existential crisis about away, xion’s sheepish smile becomes shy. 

    “i think a lot of us don’t know how we came here... but the villagers are nice... we can do whatever we want, but i think... there’s this air...” a hand releases her keyblade to gesture slightly, attempting to give form to what she speaks of. “it’s... um... even though travelers can act independently, everyone still helps with things...” glancing down at her scarf, she nods in affirmation. 

    “i think if you ask, people will help with anything... within reason, i mean.”

[astemoria-blog]

firestarter.･ﾟ*.

    axel’s not used to this place. not yet. in fact, he doesn’t know if he wants to get used to it. 

     the village itself seems normal enough. its inhabitants do, too. all in all, it’s nothing all that strange compared to what he’s seen in other worlds - at least at face value. what’s jarring is how he’s powerless and stranded here… not to mention all of that weird crap about wishes being granted. he toyed around with the idea of asking for help, but… well, his luck in the social department has been nothing short of abysmal for the past few years. ultimately, everything just ends up in flames. 

     at this point, it doesn’t make sense to fake having a heart. that takes up way too much energy. playing nice and making friends aren’t priorities, here. the only thing that matters is figuring out what his next step should be.

     and so, he walks briskly through the snow with no actual destination in mind. he’s not entirely sure why he’s doing it - he hates the snow, hates being cold, is pretty damn sure that it’s not clearing his head or helping him in the slightest - but he doesn’t stop. 

     that is, not until he catches sight of… someone.

     he can’t see their face; their back is to him. still. something about them stands out. usually, he can ignore random people hanging out around eidolon just fine. weirdly enough, that isn’t the case here. he can’t ignore this person - knows he can’t. the very sight of them makes his chest feel strange. that burn - from that dream he had, right before arriving here… it’s back. 

     he starts walking again - this time, heading right towards the person as quickly as he can. he wants to be on guard but can’t bring himself to give a shit about that right now. something within him is practically pushing him towards them. if he didn’t know any better, he’d think he was feeling something. 

     before he can get a grip on whatever the hell’s going on, he grabs onto their shoulder…

     …and is promptly speechless. 

     “uh.” wow. talk about eloquent. “who — just who are you?” he doesn’t mean to sound as indignant as he does. not entirely. 

★ @astemoria·

       to say she’s become accustomed to life at eidolon would be a lie. endlessly, she finds herself searching. for what? for answers? for any activity to occupy her mind? for some sort of remnant of home? ( even xion thinks that’s silly— the sun may set in every world she steps upon, but nothing can ever truly take the place of that ever present clock tower ). 

    although she wishes for something to do, she can’t bring herself to take up any actual jobs. not yet, anyway. not until she feels comfortable in her own skin, but even then, she can’t help but look down at her hands, at the keyblade she holds, feel the cold that brings shivers to her spine and spiral into wonder after wonder. the being named as xion disappeared, from both memory and world, forgotten but never truly. yet here she stands, walking this cold freezing tundra as though it’s normal. 

    was it normal to come back to life because a simple wish made it so? in conversations with axel, something like that never came up. 

    lost in thought, she doesn’t hear the crunching of footsteps until they’re too close. it’s too late to raise her keyblade, but the voice makes her put any thought of retaliation to a halt. 

    ❝ huh...? ❞ she stares at him in shock, stupefied just by seeing axel, and suddenly she’s drowned in wave after wave of thoughts. after meeting sora and riku, the possibility of seeing the redhead shouldn’t be surprising. in fact, a part of her hoped for a reunion, to patch their friendship that she herself had torn apart. her eyes sting with tears, and though she wants to answer his question, wants to know why he’s here, wants to hug him in a tight embrace... the axel that stands before her recognizes her as a stranger. ( and once again she recalls the pain of loneliness ). 

    “i’m...” she licks her dry lips, throat suddenly parched as she forces back any desire to cry. “i live here...” she doesn’t make the effort to fully face him, suddenly self-conscious of the organization coat she wears. she really should have taken the storekeeper’s offer for a change of clothes upon her initial arrival. the keyblade is consciously pressed against her side as if to hide it, but this is axel. why does she still feel the need to hide?

    “actually... i’m a traveler, just like you...” another pause, eyes trailing elsewhere. “did you... did you just get here...?”

[astemoria-blog]

@decompking.

    ❝ my keyblade... looks like sora’s? ❞ the comment this passerby makes somehow amuses her, yet also confuses her. there’s a sense of familiarity from him that seems misplaced, but perhaps it was simply due to his connection with sora. it always seemed to be the case, after all. the brunet seemed to have a plethora of connections that baffled her ( but it was nice to know so many people kept him in their heart just as he kept them in his ).

    “well... it’s not as though i took it from him,” she assures, sounding and looking awkward. “it’s... mine.” sort of. if she were borrowing it from sora, but was still able to have it despite him also having it, doesn’t that make it hers? just thinking about it made her head ache, just a tad. 

    after a pause, she shakes her head, sighing. “it’s a little... complicated, i guess.” absolutely complicated. 

[astemoria-blog]

unwaveringradiance·. ･ﾟ*.

Good going, he thinks to himself. Libraries are like, the one place where you’re NOT supposed to be super loud!

His thoughts are immediately interrupted when he he hears a familiar, soft voice directly behind him. Upon turning around, he confirms to himself that it is in fact her, Xion. Though the two haven’t known each other for all that long, he still considers her a good friend. Yet another person that’s connected to him. It’s almost as though for all these years, Sora’s heart has kind of been a hotel for those who need refuge. Almost like how Traverse Town is a hub for those who need refuge, except, well, in his heart. Since the confrontation at the Keyblade Graveyard, his heart at least physically speaking, is rather alone these days.

He gives her that radiant grin he seems to be so famous for. “Oh, it’s you Xion! I didn’t know you wound up in this place too! Have you been here long?” he responds, giving her a slight nod. “Right. I definitely didn’t come here to read any books or anything. And thanks for the suggestions, but I think I’m okay just sitting here for a while. I’m mostly here because, well…it’s way too cold outside for me. I figured this would be a nice and warm building, and here I am, I guess.”

Sora then laughs slightly nervously, rubbing the back of his head a little bit. “Yeah, sorry. I…kind of forgot that you’re not supposed to talk loudly in libraries…”

       the friendly smile she had worn is wiped clean with a hardened confusion. sora... knew her? not just her face, but her name as well? although he offers her brightness, she turns away as if burned by the sun, brows furrowing slightly as eyes stare down at the book in her possession. was this the effect of the tundra too? was this a sora that had been granted with the knowledge by whatever magic this cold world possessed or was this a sora that had met her?

    after all, riku seemed to be acquainted with her quite well, even despite his memories of the being named xion retreating into the depths of the heart, just like she herself did. however, it made sense if riku remembered her. they met and spent time together. sora, on the other hand, treated her as if they were friends! even despite being part of sora and seeing through his eyes, perhaps there was just some things she missed? it’s not as though she had always been watching! but... still...

    ❝ i see... ❞ she says slowly, gaze raising to stare at his features, as if simply looking at the brunet would piece this complicated puzzle together. “i just got here recently, actually. i’m sure it isn’t a problem to stay here just for shelter though. i think a lot of people do that, actually.” and then xion’s lips purse, head shaking deciding wondering won’t do her any good. her attempt at casual conversation is tossed to the side, thinking it’s better to be blunt than continue staring at him.

    “i’m sorry sora, but you know me?” a pause. “did something happen?”

[astemoria-blog]

dawndreamt.

A dream— it’d be nice if some things were just a dream. He is not much of a dreamer, though ( it is hard to be a dreamer when it all slips through his fingers and becomes a warped nightmare ). This is not a dream, however, and he has to face the reality of being here, with her; studying her, fingers grasping at her blade like— like what, he is not sure. Riku watches because there are so many things to say and no words to say them with, and he settles for the silence that feels so much like home for him and lets himself be numbed with the cold that sets in instead.

He blinks once before letting out a soft laugh, perhaps the most natural emotion he has shown so far, and yet, there is something tragic about it all that taints it ( that is the conclusion Xion has reached, girl who has had so much tied to an appearance, or lack thereof ). “No— not… I didn’t mean that literally, you know? I don’t think…any amount of spiky hair could really make me look like him.” Among other qualities, like the way they carry themselves, the weights that burden them show themselves differently; he hides, always— and in contrast, Sora is a mostly open book ( in comparison to himself, at the very least ). He raises a hand to her head, a gentle gesture of ruffling her hair, a gesture he would have with them, once, hazy days on the beach; and that’s where the problem lies, doesn’t it? Replicas like her, him— their identities were unique, weren’t they? It wasn’t fair to them, to act like they were the same, for all their similarities. “Same goes for you too. You’re fine as you are.”

There’s a curious tilt of his head, he had not been completely certain of what she could recall, even now — and for that matter, what she’d known to begin with. There are things best off not knowing, however, so he does not even begin to inquire. “They were pretty.” Riku agrees, gaze lingering on her for a moment before returning to keep an eye on their surroundings. “Although I don’t know if that was what we really focused on most of the time, considering we were playing around.” He listens while she speaks, silent; initially does not give much indication of what he thinks beyond a soft hum of acknowledgement, before offering his opinion. “That’s probably a good thing. Experience things from your view… something like that.”

“We aren’t on a mission.” A light remarks— but of course, he knows fairly well where she is coming from ( Xion doesn’t really know a life outside of the Organization, of course it’s an easy habit to think and tackle things like she had then ). “If it’s about learning, I have the feeling books and people in town might tell us more than going after it… but there’s no harm in doing so, as long as we remain careful. While it is probably not going to bring us harm, there are other things out here that might. And I don’t think either of us would fancy getting lost out here just because we followed it too blindly.” He relents, regardless of how he personally feels, he has already begun to follow— Riku would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little curious.

       the way he ruffles her hair catches her off guard to the point she blinks and stares up at him for just a moment too long. she finds it unfair. of whom, though? she knows he can see sora and kairi in her. even in the days of the past, that was the sole reason he had helped her, didn’t he? but she herself isn’t guiltless either. for her and roxas, the person that had all the answers was axel. riku doesn’t have his height, but he has a similar patience with her that brings her comfort, so truly just who is being unfair here? vaguely though, she has to wonder... 

    does it even matter? everyone requires that place of home, and even the slightest bit of reminder can bring comfort. perhaps in the past, it would have bothered her. perhaps in the past, if he showed her this familiarity, she’d bitterly laugh and point it out... but here? they’ve no idea what their situation is. they’re both practical lost children that silently desire familiarity. he’s helped her before. for something small like this? she thinks she can bear it. ( unconsciously, she’s using him in the same manner, after all ). 

    still, his kindness is welcomed. in that supposed empty cavity in her chest, it brings her warmth. you’re fine as you are. how nice. 

    she pauses in her step, blinking and then shrugging. she laughs gently, body turning slightly to speak to him. ❝ if experiencing things myself are good, then following it and not calling it reconnaissance will be a good one. ❞ it’s a light joke, but there’s something about doing something just to do it that makes her feel giddy. it was like meeting up at the clock tower just to eat ice cream together. there was no obligation, just simply free will. 

    “maybe later i’ll go to the library.” interacting with new people? riku should know her better than that. xion’s always operated from the shadows! but, just in the way that sora is, it’s not as though she’d hate talking to the locals. it seems like she’ll be here for a while; might as well get acquainted. ( she’s just shy. and awkward. and common knowledge what? ) 

    “and anyway, that’s why we don’t go too far. neither of us can use corridors anymore, right?” though she had begun to walk again, she’s pausing again, lips pursed and worry etched upon her brow. although she was aware, just saying it and riku’s words make her realize how dangerous a sudden expedition could go. suddenly, her excitement is gone and she’s smiling sheepishly to the taller, head tilting. 

    “um... well, what do you think we should do? keep going or...” of course there’s that longing in her eyes and riku’s already following her, but between the two of them, who has more “life” experience?

[astemoria-blog]

scythewielding.

          ‘ so —- still kind of like a giant key, ‘ ruby says, & she giggles along with her as the realization reaches the light. it’s a strange concept yet not so far off from her world’s own magical properties; she’s seen more than enough strangeness to make her feel as if a magical key is the least of anyone’s worries. ( relics of incredible power created by the gods whom abandoned a world in the times it yearned for guidance, for purpose & direction. people who could once perform feats of magic without the aid of dust. beings who held the power of destruction in their bodies with an infinite supply of life. a magical key can’t hold flame to her most recent experiences. )

          ‘ i guess … whatever magic brought us here must’ve taken the magic from everyone. your key, too. ‘ ruby gestures plainly to it, as if to point out its obvious existence out in the open in xion’s grasp. ‘ anything i could do on my own before i got here isn’t working either, so you’re not alone. ‘

     gentle simper graces her lips at the phrase, ruby herself finding comfort in her own words, reaffirming for herself that she isn’t as alone as she might feel in this strange expanse of white & eternal winter. her hands now clasp together in front of her abdomen, & she cheerily rises up onto tiptoe for a moment to accentuate her words. ‘ besides ! i’m sure it’ll still be useful somehow, even without its magic. ‘

       she laughs in amusement, head nodding in affirmation. yep, still a giant key. a very in the way type of giant key. most people kept keys on rings or a lanyard, but really, she just wished she could send it and then call it back from the void beyond like she was able to. but there is a sense of comfort in the way ruby makes a point to say everyone. it’s not just xion, but this girl before her. that alone brings peace, yet also worry.

    she already shouldn’t be here, standing and talking to this girl. if she can exist, albeit in a manner of lesser power, the magic here must be incredibly powerful. however, thinking about it causes her head to shake, fingertips brushing her fringe from her features. the laws of this place seemed too complex for her to understand without proper research; no point in even trying to understand. so instead, xion returns ruby’s smile, head nodding and smile with an undeniable sense of relief.

    ❝ i guess you could use it to hang stuff, ❞ she jests, fingertips running across the blunt expanse of the blade. somewhere in the back of her mind, she thinks about the look riku would give her if she ever said that around him, but it’s not like she really would! honest! she just... didn’t want to use it for fighting is all. she’s had enough of that. “maybe it’d be a really good shovel too...” 

    she glances down at the snow, then the head of her kingdom key, then laughs. “hey, we could build something if we wanted to, i think.”

[astemoria-blog]

dawndreamt.

He has spent so long playing the adult— trying to be responsible for everything— that he does not quite know how to do otherwise anymore. Riku wishes he could act with the freedom of a child, with an innocence he has seemingly lost, but his heart— his heart does not know that anymore, he cannot follow his heart and hope for it to come back that easily.

( He has paid his price and in turn, tries not to linger on such memories for too long ).

“Sorry.” He can’t help but apologize again anyways, out of habit; he doesn’t even really realize he’s said it until it’s been said. A certain gentleness manages to make it into his expression— that reliance is something he’s missed, he realizes; he has always been so used to taking it upon himself to be a sturdy constant to be depended on, that he does not realize the comfort it had brought until it was gone. That in spite of all the growth he’s tried to go through, some part of him still hinges on his dependability to measure his own self-worth. And more pressingly, despite being so genuinely her own, Xion reminds him so much of Sora and Kairi that it almost pains him.

“What, do I look like Sora to you? Not all of us could slack off long enough to pay attention to every little detail.” His expression is amused, the crinkling corners of his eyes, reveals more than he means to, perhaps— he sounds harsh, but there is a softer sentiment ( he would know best about what kind of habits his best friend had had, and it was never his fault for the path Riku had chosen to take ). He had always been so focused on his goals that he never got a chance to enjoy his freedom in the way he had wanted to, and he’s almost a bit envious of that fact, but—

That’s not anyone’s fault but his own. He won’t allow himself to be jealous, knowing that.

“I wish I knew.” He murmurs, gazing in the direction the creature had fled, before clearing his throat. “It’s a learning experience for both of us, then. We didn’t have these kinds of animals on the islands. A lot more fish.” 

       they’ve all had to grown up too soon, some more than others, but all facing choices not meant for mere children to make. there were times, back with the organization, when xion wondered time and time again what their lives would be like if they were normal. if she was just xion and roxas was just roxas and axel was axel and none of them had numbers tied to their names. realistically, normality couldn’t happen for people not meant to exist ( for people like her that never had a place to begin with ), but she found dreaming was sometimes much better than staying awake.

    and vaguely, speaking to riku like this again, she has to question whether or not this is a dream. however, cold that wraps itself around her like a vice is all too real and the way her nose and ears tingle from the frigidness of their surroundings remind her of how she exists in an odd reality where they can speak as if they were friends. the thought brings many others ( some that question whether their relationship can be called friendship now that life and death aren’t involved ), but she holds her tongue, because just like dreaming, she finds staying quiet much easier than speaking as well.

    ❝ you’d look more like him if you had spikier hair, ❞ she muses, the grin she wears widening slightly. and then she pauses, head tilting. “i wonder if i’d look like him too... if i had spikier hair...” as if toying with the idea, fingertips raise the tips of her hair, head shaking with a soft laugh. “well, whatever’s easiest is the best, i think.” 

    her hands clutch the handle of her kingdom key before her chest, her head nodding as she recalls memories that may be hers or remnants of sora’s. “i remember them. the fish, i mean. they were pretty...” and then she trails off, looking in the direction of the animal once again, appreciation glimmering in her irises. “but there’s something about this place and its animals that are beautiful too... like it... sparkles. the ocean does, but i never knew snow did too.” 

    curiosity wins her over, much quicker than either of them anticipated, because she’s already walking a little forward, eyes sparkling like the ocean’s waves and the pure white snow. “should... should we follow it? to learn more about it?” although oddly mature beyond her years, that childlike nature of hers that never seems to pass shines brightly. “reconnaissance is the best way to learn about anything, after all.”

[astemoria-blog]

@hexennxcht​

       this woman was being so kind to the younger, it made xion’s heart feel warm. of course, perhaps any would express concern the way this stranger was after witnessing xion stumble and fall face first into the snow. embarrassing, truly and utterly embarrassing, considering she is an adept warrior but... heeled boots and this environment don’t really go well together.

    ❝ oh, no i’m fine... ❞ she sits on her knees, keyblade on her lap. her nose is red, either from the fall or the cold, but all in all? she’s left unscathed. raising her gaze from her ground to the woman, a small smile spreads across her features, head nodding in gratitude. “thank you for helping me up. my ankle’s a little sore from the trip, but i don’t think anything’s broken.”

[astemoria-blog]

@scacciare

       xion could never do well around people that towered over her. of course, axel was and always will be the exception ( they were friends... best friends even. no matter what ). tall people made her feel small in more ways than one. but... but! she doesn’t know this man, nor does he know her. still, she can’t help the way she fidgets slightly when he comes into her vicinity, shifting away just a tad when he seats himself next to her at the bar. 

    it just had to be an evening where the tables were full of those with companions and the bar had the only empty seats, didn’t it? really, xion’s ready to excuse herself, but then she blinks up at the man’s shoulder, uncomfortable expression immediately overcome with wonder.

    ❝ ... a bird...? ❞

[astemoria-blog]

petitmafioso.

“Ah.”

Awkward. He was just curious about Xion’s garments, and if they served any practical purpose. Sure, the weather was rough but… her coat was not something you would usually see. 

“Sorry, miss. Didn’t mean to stare. I was just curious.”

There is a short wave of his hand as he approaches, trying to dismiss his curiosity. If he is to be sincere, she looks a bit weird. But Chuuya has seen worse, and it doesn’t look all that bad. 

“No. I think it is a smart decision, considering how cold it is.” It is a fact, even if he doesn’t know how well her clothes would shield her from the freezing climate. Oh well. Chuuya might as well try to hook this into an actual conversation. He needs to find out if she is just as lost as he is, wandering around aimlessly as she was.

“I don’t think there are any clothes store around, anyway. Have you been around for long?”

       her hands wave immediately, head shaking in a slight panic. it’s not that he bothered her! staring was just. it was awkward. she didn’t like it. probably just an effect of her days of being scrutinized every time she entered a room back when she was still with the organization but... well! it’s not chuuya’s fault. 

    ❝ n-no, it’s okay! but, actually...❞ the confused expression she had donned becomes a soft, shy smile. “it’s really only good for shielding against any sudden breezes... otherwise...” she trails off, tip of her boot gently kicking at the snow. it seemed smart, but without its magical properties, xion was as ill-dressed as any new traveler. sure, she had a scarf, but goodness, did she need proper garments ( and fast! she’s never caught a cold before! ).

    “um... if i remember, there was a general store that sold clothes... but i haven’t been here long enough to really get familiar with things.” she pauses, head tilting. “are you new to eidolon too? i heard they get a lot of visitors from different places...”

[astemoria-blog]

unwaveringradiance.

@astemoria !!

This place is definitely going to take some getting used to, seeing as there’s no way out for the time being, at least I think there isn’t, he thinks to himself. Freezing cold temperatures are still something that he isn’t exactly used to, being an islander and all. If only he could find some warmer clothes… His current outfit is definitely not cut out for this climate. He really needs to find some place to warm up, and fast. Keeping himself moving can only combat the cold for so long.

Luckily for Sora, he stumbles upon a rather large building that at least seems to be a public place. Whatever the case, it looks as though it’ll be warm inside. When he looks up, he notices the library sign, and immediately he shivers even more. Books were never really something Sora considered himself…interested in, and there’s no way it’ll change now, but nonetheless, it offers warmth, and without wasting another second, he heads inside, looking for a small table to sit for a while and gather his thoughts.

When he finds one, he plops down, louder than he would have liked, but it doesn’t matter all that much. He’s finally warm.

He takes a quick glance around the library. Despite the fact that he’s not a reader in any capacity, the sheer amount of books that surround him are impressive nonetheless.

“Whoa! Nice and warm, finally! I just hope they don’t kick you out for not reading or something…” he says, talking much louder than he initially thinks, covering his mouth almost instantly. “Uh…oops.”

       she’s always been a relatively quiet individual. sitting in the corner of a library? perfect! xion can speak to strangers when she needs to, but otherwise? she is undeniably an introvert. she may reflect parts of sora’s personality, but she could never claim his willingness to befriend anyone and anything he sees as her own. ( they are different people, after all, no matter his influence on her ). 

    however, it’s not like she ever expected to encounter the boy that filled no. i with life. they couldn’t coexist... at least, that’s what was supposed to happen. this tundra... it had an odd magic to it. still, nonetheless, the way he shines brightly in the otherwise quiet room has the black haired teen blinking, as if adjusting her sight from taking a glance at the sun. a smile plays on her lips, the book that had been carefully held in her hands rested upon her lap. 

    ❝ i think it’ll be fine, ❞ she says in amusement, careful to avoid any hints of familiarity with the brunet. they don’t know each other, no matter how much she knows him... right? it’d be better to avoid anything that can allude to it. too bad she still dons her organization coat though. if there’s anything that screams suspicion, it’s that. but well. not like she’s standing up so he can’t see it in full! right? right. 

    “also, i think anyone can come in here, no matter the reason... after all, even if you didn’t come here to read, maybe you’ll find something interesting? like... about animals, maybe?” and then she laughs ever so softly. “but i do think being quieter would be a good idea.”