___

flashing lights talk to me

[astroterror]

I AM NOW AT ROBOMOBOTO

if we're mutuals, I will follow back. Sorry for the trouble.

[astroterror]

okay. i am remaking my tumblr. i will post my new URL soon

[radsturbate]

[hustlerose]

[probably-unreliable]

I never realized that Killer Croc is such an amazing boyfriend…….

[bogleech]

While this is cute and all, that cop saying “ATTENTION UNIDENTIFIED ALLIGATOR SCUM” is hilariously fucking weird like how does he not know who Killer Croc is? How many crocodilian people can possibly exist? He sounds like he’s just literally racist towards alligators as a whole like maybe he just mistook Croc for a regular alligator somehow, which he hates, and if he recognized Croc he’d be like “oh gosh, sorry, I just thought you were ALLIGATOR SCUM”

[astroterror]

Ernest Hemingway: Write drunk, edit sober.

Me, a dumbass: Write while sleep deprived and heavily caffeinated at two am, no editing we die like men.

[b-eing-deactivated20170717]

i love bein laid on! idc if i cant breathe properly! kill me i love you and dont get up!

[neyruto]

a shallow and pretentious male narrator whos supposed to fall in love with a manic pixie girl takes a wrong turn, and bumps into another shallow and pretentious male narrator, they fall in love instead

[just-sort-of-happened]

fight club

[runninupthatroad-deactivated201]

[flippyspoon]

Chuck Wendig is not here for writing ultimatums. 

[libraford]

If I may add to this the comedic stylings of completely unreal author Jessica McHugh:

[it-s-a-classic]

[afterword]

i got the most relatable spam email

[flowury]

please do yourself a favor and date the biggest fckn nerd u can get ur hands on

[robotmango]

me, crouched down in front of my tomato plants, examining a pattern of insect bites on their lower leaves: i’m going to fucking kill whoever did this. i’m going to kill them for you. don’t worry, babies. I’m going to murder every single son of a bitch who ever got a mouthful of you. they’ll die screaming

my neighbor, who i did not realize was also outside, standing behind the fence: oh! okay. you’re talking to the plants. okay.

[sounddesignerjeans-deactivated2]

Visit Original Link

I don’t throw around the phrases “the worst thing I’ve ever made” or “abomination before God” very lightly, so believe me when I say this is both of those and also a mistake

I present to you Mr. Sandman, but the opening clapping is uncomfortably meaty and plays throughout the whole song

[socialist-anxiety]

me: I’m a non-binary girl.

friend: okay but you still have a man’s body

me: you’re right we should probably bury this dead guy instead of talking about gender

friend: i’ll get the shovels

[serbamf]

I had to read this a couple times.

[judevic]

i want to be given verbal encouragement by a dog who speaks in a deep otherworldly voice