Read or don’t. I want to talk about why Aziraphale made me mad in the finale
I love Aziraphale to pieces okay. Precious, soft, doing his best, and must be protected. But I think his behavior sometimes shows a pattern of expecting things from his relationship with Crowley that he doesn't return and everyone has their own take on fandom and I think it's healthy to talk about it.
First point obviously: abandoning Crowley
It's not just Aziraphale thought he was making a sacrifice to do what's right. Crowley clearly needed him and was not subtle about telling him that. Absolute rock bottom depression for years. He is trying to communicate that need and Aziraphale point blank ignores every attempt to address it. Crowley is so clearly suffering this whole episode and there are things Aziraphale could have done to show some compassion even with his decision to choose heaven and he just kinda pretends he doesn't see any of it
Aziraphale's return to Earth. Practically the whole street is gone. Maggie and Nina, ostensibly members of the community he was invested in last season, have disappeared.
Queen Mrs Sandwich here to deliver some FRESH FACTS. She says a lot of direct stuff here and tells no lies. She can smell someone who only shows up when they want something on THEIR terms and THEIR terms only
He pointedly doesn't mention Crowley at all here. And Mrs Sandwich sees right through him. He was there when the community served him. Eccles cakes and records and the like. But when THEY needed HIM, he wasn't there. You don't abandon something you love
This feels like the most manipulative we've ever seen Aziraphale and I really don't like it. He doesn't actually care about Jesus at all but he knows Crowley does. Crowley was kind to him. All the kingdoms of the world and such. So when Crowley doesn't want to do it for Aziraphale, he tries to leverage Jesus' wellbeing to convince him instead. And then picks up the "we both own the Bentley" thing again. But it's only ownership on Aziraphale's terms, when it suits him. When the Bentley was lost, Aziraphale wouldn't give half a thought until he needed Crowley to drive him again. It's giving 'divorced parent who doesn't pay child support then shows up and tries to claim shared custody.'
And then there was this forgiveness thing. I couldn't believe after all that business Aziraphale was now asking Crowley to forgive him. Why did he need to hear it so badly?? So he would feel better about the whole thing??? because he just gave forgiveness to Michael for doing irredeemable things and needs to know he isn't irredeemable either????????? Has Aziraphale done anything to address the way that Crowley, Whickber street, etc feel abandoned by him?? And Crowley doesn't want to do it. He literally spits out the words. Did Aziraphale ask because he knows Crowley can't say no to him, even if what Aziraphale is asking for will hurt Crowley (so then was he wrong to ask???) And they've never at all really talked about why it's so hard for Crowley to forgive him. Why he feels hurt by Aziraphale. They never once in the entire show talked properly about literally anything and I'm losing my mind
This scene was of course affectionate but I found it so tragic in how surprised Crowley was at everything Aziraphale said. Crowley acted like Aziraphale has never talked like this to him before, how would he know Aziraphale feels this way. For thousands of years, Crowley's gotten tacit disapproval, blatant rejections, and a single conditional acceptance of Crowley provided he became an angel again and pretended to be something he isn't and doesn't want to be. I do think Aziraphale sees no difference between Angel Crowley and Demon Crowley but I think Crowley does and Aziraphale has always just ignored it. Aziraphale wants to put Crowley back up in heaven because he thinks he belongs there but not wanting to be in/do things like heaven is the reason Crowley fell. Idk I think I just wanted a universe where Aziraphale could say this kind of stuff to Crowley as a demon, not Crowley as the once-shining-angel-Aziraphale-pretends-he-still-is. Myabe it's the whole 'unlinking goodness from heaven' thing that Aziraphale never really learned.
If Aziraphale has just realized/is deciding to embrace this conclusion, it is literally too little too late. (Cue "it's always too late" from 2x3) The actual end of themselves and reality is the absolute worst time for Aziraphale to finally choose him. This has always been the tragedy of their relationship. They can never choose each other at the right time, together. There were probably a dozen times in the past that Crowley needed Aziraphale to choose him and he didn't.
Idk. I love Aziraphale but I love Crowley too. I think this has all been about Crowley getting what he needs and it was 6-episodes-shrunk-into-1 and I just wanted to see Aziraphale choose Crowley, like REALLY choose him in words and behavior and acceptance in a way he could follow through on for the rest of their lives
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